Everything Wrong With Turning Red in 20 Minutes or Less

45 seconds of luxogos the number one rule in my family honor your parents did your parents not teach you to show not tell what kind of parents completely miss warning their kids about the dangers of excessive narration why are we hearing a clicking shutter noise between pictures it's not like these pictures are being taken right now and they aren't being switched by some sort of mechanical slideshow even phones do this when taking pictures and it's dumb this would be like designing your electric car to make a backfiring engine noise every few minutes just for the fossil fuel nostalgia but if you take it too far well you might forget to honor yourself may is quoting someone's wisdom to honor your parents without losing yourself but who is giving that advice to a middle schooler this identity crisis tied into your parents is you work out and counseling as a 30 year old she's 13 does she have a choice to honor her parents luckily i don't have that problem why is she yelling everything also this is apparently going to be one of those movies where pictures come to life and talk directly to the audience i see you pixar trying to short-circuit my sins by breaking all sorts of fourth walls all willy-nilly and such out of that i say precisely four seconds ago mae turned around and her backpack was basically entirely zipped with both zippers close enough together to only allow tampons out but suddenly the opening lets out all the books pencils without erasers i am nervous about this movie we are two minutes in and there have been about 73 quick cuts and zooms and may is just a ball of energy that i am not prepared for sometimes i recommend watching a movie at 1.5 speed because they're so slow i'm watching this on 0.67 and it's too much cursive seating your brass section in the front row [Music] 7. sexually objectifying someone totem pole style also there is no way this conglomeration of humans pulled off this synchronized slide in from these positions in what world would priya's head have ever looked like it was directly between miriam and abby's heads she's literally standing beside her i know this whole movie is a wild looney tune and everything but if i'm not sending detachable heads what am i even doing anymore and aaron t and eriz are like really talented too i guarantee and aaron zee this movie's funny i'll give it that but also four town has five members and though i'm sure they will address this in the movie it's exactly this kind of reckless number play that corrupts the education of our youth and i can't let it go and i'm doing my part to fight for the betterment of the next generation devon's right here and free on the one hand i'm glad that this movie isn't portraying horny eighth grade boys panting over girls but on the other i think just avoiding this behavior in a movie altogether is wise does it matter what gender is on screen right now and the message to the impressionable is that talking about a person's appeal based on convenience and cost is pretty creepy 99 australian tour bootlegging concerts would you steal a car did lars from metallica teach you nothing hey bart hey lisa making simpsons references without including a quote from the show look movie you tried your best and you failed miserably the lesson is never trot swallowing a balbon hole what kind of delinquent tags a private wall in broad daylight on a busy city street even the dumbest of vandals known as a concept as simple as darkness the red panda cute reveal for us but would these temple goers be all that impressed we've seen the interior of this temple and there are no long hallways for me to suddenly slide in from she's already in the room dressed as a red panda mae tosses out confetti that is somehow magically appearing in her paws jin lee is not my chef friend in this scene giving devin marge simpson's pearl necklace instead of nipples being a teenage girl must be all sorts of up that hat is that the sketchy clerk from the daisy look if you recognize the person who your daughter drew from sketches she literally did in seconds one of two things is true either your daughter is such a talented artist that you should probably be investing in art school or you're in a movie where convenient things happen to cringe the plot forward whoever organized this wall of behind the counter items should be fired the batteries and bulbs aren't together and the glue is on the same hook as a throat lozenge chaos no but also moms also also giving devon a full merman tail but still denying him nipples maymay's mother sees this face and decides that there wasn't anything else her daughter wanted to tell her a slight glance at a notebook earlier sent her on a hunt for what was going on but this face doesn't trigger any warnings this will never happen again lying to your mirror for the love of luca pixar these easter egg call backs to previous pixar movies are getting weirder and weirder uh guys what the absolute is going on with this movie right now are we trying to make the pixar kids grow up to love horror movies because this is how you do that breakfast is ready no sugar setting doughnuts directly in front of someone who shouldn't eat them but it's too soon she's 13 it is not too soon jin it's happening probably the most upsetting thing to happen in this entire movie is the sheer panic these two human adults go through when their child potentially starts their cycle like a completely normal thing is the end of the goddamn world but their child transforming into a panda is not panic worthy and totally normal to them perhaps we should talk about why this is happening perhaps you should have talked to her about why this is happening before it started happening you are now a beautiful strong flower who must protect your delicate petals and clean them regularly i'm torn here i want to send the fact that women in movies always get the flower analogy when dealing with their sexuality but honestly the fact that this movie is dealing with female adolescents so frankly is also kind of refreshing now i'm sitting the whole protective flower thing but then i'm subtracting two sins for the willingness to actually have the conversation are the parents completely useless in emergencies now they're panicking about burning porridge the mother is yelling at the father to open a window when she could clearly do that herself he's acting like a lunatic with a fire extinguisher while calling for someone to call emergency for help have neither of them ever experienced a cooking disaster it's not like the porridge would burst into flames all of a sudden we cut from may's disaster room and newly acquired red hair to a shot of her going to school is the idea that her very invasive mother was so distracted by the burning porridge on the stove that she forgets to ask about her daughter's period again or her sudden new hair color but i promise nobody will notice a thing but why doesn't her own highly particular mother notice that her daughter's eyebrows are rhett driving into a school zone while not watching where you are driving in a school zone no one stops may from covering her neck and face with deodorant and this was before the natural deodorant trend so you know this stick is 50 aluminum i am not a nice catch mae but earlier all she had to do was exclaim yes then she went full furball i get the feeling the inciting of transformation is much less dependent on her level of anxiety and excitement and much more dependent on what the script needs the plot to do you know with the time you spent on the extra question mark and two little hearts you could have just spelled your correctly miriam much better with a you were this time but now where's the punctuation you can do both thanks miriam we believe in you this momstock's 8th grade daughter scene will cringe escalate into a battle with security and then cringe culminate with her loudly telling me she forgot her pets and before we get to the part where mom somehow doesn't know this isn't something you would publicly yell in front of an 8th grade class can we just visit the part where she brought her daughter's pads to school and thought she was gonna give them to her but through the window how does any human with a single functioning brain cell not take them to the office first and have her called down in what world does a parent hide behind a tree to deliver something to their child i swear an eighth grader turning into an actual panda makes more sense than these actions no one in the room turns around to see what the explosion behind them was because the movie needs to hide maymay's secret even though it will unhide it within the next 10 minutes the security guard stops restraining the trespassing adult when he realizes the class is in distress you'd think he'd be on high alert talking into his radio to let others know about a couple very alarming situations happening but nope he stares on like a potato and when the strange lady goes into the building through the window he doesn't attempt to stop her gin get home now there's been an emergency no another one why insinuate that getting your period is an emergency it's normal imagine being a restaurant that serves lunch and this is the sign you made the sign is a coffee pot that says you can drop in any time which is a clever take on drip coffee but the word lunch indicates this is a restaurant dedicated to serving food that of the restaurant is called lunch in which case why would your sign be a coffee pot this happened already [Music] what did you say i'm with maymay here if you know your child will eventually turn into a giant red panda how is it not something you start to prepare them for this would be as dumb as hiding the children of the most powerful force wielder in the universe and never telling them they might be able to move rocks and stuff with their minds someday that's right pixar you're as bad as star wars now so the sin as always is disney as you know our ancestors there's no greater tell that we're about to get exposition than when a character utters the phrase as you know to people who already know the thing they're about to say out loud to them anyway they might as well replace the phrase with as the audience doesn't know also i think it says a lot about mei's character that she patiently goes to the temple to watch a scroll show about her cursed condition i'd be under the blanket in my room combing my face demanding we skip to the important parts i mean sure the movie needs us to understand why this is happening but i'm pretty sure panda may just wants to know how to make it stop and the mom takes way too long to let her know there's a curse clause how strong are jin and ming i just saw this giant panda's weight take down an entire fire escape but how are they holding back this ton of panda rage like they should be playing offensive line for the cowboys and i will be with you every step of the way which seemed to be a negative trigger for me earlier but you know now it calms her down no one can see her like this parents somehow decide to have a secret conversation directly outside of their child's door and loud enough for them to hear so the plot can plot cliche considering this is something you're trying to keep a secret did you really want to put clothes due to family emergency on the sign wouldn't that stir up more questions was anyone really going to stop by for a tour and be like honey they're closed but it doesn't say why so maybe we break it anyway may heard her parents whispering behind closed doors last night but somehow her parents don't hear her friends screaming smothering your friends in the fur of your adolescence metaphor [Music] boots and cats and boots and cats that's not even a pixar movie you're never not on my mind i'm not going to ignore the friends sing to a sad friend to cheer them up trope and i'll even forgive the prominent double negatives that aren't not in the lyrics what i will not not look past is the fact that if someone is singing to you that you are never not on their mind that this is a creepy person and you should run away immediately i don't care what willie nelson says this is codependency just waiting to happen deforestation if the parentals are trying to get discount bruce banner to hulk out here why wouldn't they do it in a place that maybe wouldn't destroy their dining room table and chair if they succeed as cute as this moment is is anyone else concerned about why or how ming had a box of kittens at the ready maybe one of the most unbelievable moments in this movie is that none of the kittens get their razor sharp claws stuck in may's shirt what was that that was a tiny kid managing to balance the load of a bust and tray table of pop paraphernalia without struggling or dropping anything that's what i'm not here ming is in the fetal position traumatized by a call from her mother she told her husband that she's not here and he hands her the phone anyway what an no one knows anything they barely saw her yeah because an official investigation into the sighting of a massive red panda wouldn't direct anyone to the only temple dedicated to red pandas nope so is may's transformation one big poof or does it happen body part by body part i've seen both but the movie is not helping me figure out why sometimes it takes a while and other times it's all panda express dude keep it together i can't we need to see this concert whoa wait the scene before this was me getting angry about this kid teasing her about her mom mae got mad and chucked a ball at his head so hard it broke a window and probably killed the class's pet turtle but now she's worked up because of this concert come on movie stay focused i can't be the only person motivated to get to the end of this we have now entered the portion of the movie where may will sell tickets to let people see her panda and i have entered the part where i am no longer comfortable assessing this movie as a metaphor nope all around on the surface from here out for all the trouble the animators went through to get 2002 tech just right someone failed to teach them t9 texting the omg would exist entirely on the sixth key for a long damn time behold the array of old cell phones that will prove the animators did their research and step three hustle this panda and squeeze every last looney out of those kids i love how canada this movie is it just throws out looney like everyone knows that's canada's dollar coin and the truth is most of you didn't know what it was and thought i accidentally misspelled looney tune earlier i knew it was looney tunes but i was making a subtle joke and when a movie is smart enough to use the same terrible inside references as me that must be a sin off right this movie's about to get a sin for me explaining my own joke isn't it i swear sometimes i don't even understand how sin math works miriam snaps a picture of the kids with the panda but then the kids walk away like they didn't want the picture at all so i snapped the shot in the first place storing your merchandise where you the director of this also directed the pixar short bow and thanks to that flick i'm now traumatized every time anyone eats one of these steamed buns because you never know whose loved one it might be so now i'm giving this movie a sin for the way that movie triggered me if only i could have sinbao as well as released it as a bonus sin video for the sin club members at patreon in conjunction with this video as a blatant self-promotional ploy to introduce more people to the awesomeness that is the sin club at patreon.com cinemasins then maybe i could have saved this movie as soon if only life lessons kids hiding stuff under your bed is a terrible location i hate to bring it to you but your parents probably checked their on the shelf in your closet every day if you aren't going full air duct with your contraband you honestly aren't even trying breathe okay but with which set of lungs surely may's transformations aren't all just aesthetics right like has she filled up her human chest cavity with a panda limber on accident yet oh do it but it'll cost you one no 200 bucks okay look if you can just snl chat and okay to 200 maybe start with that instead of the blackmail what about your mom what about all your moms this party is playing the cha-cha slide and while that is certainly extremely 2002 it's also extremely simple once in this time two sins this time sin to the left sin to the right everybody she passed every trigger test even the kitten box everyone is impressed by this but why does every generation of panda women have kittens and boxes at the precise time are kittens readily available in boxes and i just don't know about it i found this the tuft of red pandaver in the house of a girl who turned into a red panda how do you know that happened recently and not back when this all began how do you know that wasn't from an actual red panda that wandered by you can't pin this on me island by watching you okay i learned it by watching you guys if we can't all go then none of us should go this is terrible logic couched in sacrificial bowl clearly melin is going because her panda game is the only reason you even have the chance and then you draw straws for the other two tickets or play a game for them or someone gets something awesome for staying back anything other than this all or nothing no one can have the fun because we can't all have the fun nonsense i may have some unresolved issues relating to a recent cancelled trip to a live taping of whose line is it anyway i haven't said much about the merch options yet because i kept thinking that kids are pretty creative and they did have cash coming in that could have helped fund their enterprise but whirling tales that look so specifically panda hairy is just one merch item too far this isn't a hidden cache this is an expositional presentation the underside of this bed could have been set up better for discovery if kurt connors had left it as an unsupervised powerpoint presentation you said the concert was the 18th sure the third act misunderstanding is plenty convenient to sin on its own but the timing of them hearing it on the radio at this very moment on this rooftop wait were they recklessly dancing around on a rooftop are they trying to die this flyer indicates that the very first stop on the tour is toledo ohio come on four town would be kicking things off in la or new york no doubt aaron z and aaron t would be having none of that buckeye also in this shot it looks like this 2002 world tour includes a total of eight dates eight dates does not make an official world two or eight dates barely makes an official relationship also also they're only doing one show a week this whole tour must be absolutely bleeding money if they're taking six days off after every show four towns business manager needs to be fired immediately she is an edible yep and you knew that when you helped your middle school child create the poster inviting the panda to your house and if you thought that wasn't a real thing you certainly realized it was a real panda when may arrived and danced around shedding everywhere mate tell her what dude did we actually need a third act conflict cliche to go with the third act misunderstanding cliche if we get a third act plot twist cliche the third act trifecta will be complete and sid field and aristotle will appear to fight over attribution of the three-act structure resulting in a gigantic climax that somehow resolves in exactly 20 minutes this camcorder is not only sitting here for some reason it also just happens to be charged up get knocked off onto the floor somehow start automatically playing and be in the exact right place for jin to have this moment well isn't that convenient did you make this oh some other kid that can magically anamorph into a period panda made it with her friends will look alarmingly similar to may's best friends don't ask dumb questions people have all kinds of sides to them may and when they show their sentimental sides we scoop the door will open only if we sing from our hearts it doesn't matter what until i see a ceremony or the door is open by tub thumping i'm calling bullsh also i hope this isn't a horton here's a who situation you got that one person that's not really into the ritual binding kumbaya panda and their lackluster humming everything up and of course we get the classic wrestle with your inner nature by using a mirror trope because why try something new like how about wrestling with your inner nature by listening to ira glass narrate your life as an episode of this canadian life i'm just giving these ideas away for free hollywood you can thank me later i find it interesting that as may as flashing back to the high points of her panda time that this moment of scaring the sh out of strangers is top of the list the way this movie deals with female emotional repression and its consequences on generational trauma is actually kind of astonishing is this wacky over-the-top panda movie making me feel things just take the sin off and move on before i have to explore my emotions any further on this jump you can see that maymay leaves her ceremonial road behind when she transforms and that's a nice thematic touch and all but i now have questions about how far off clothing must be before it leaves the magical modesty zone of transforming with meimei like is it points of contact how does this impact her glasses if the glasses are jostling off her face a bit during transformation do they not transform with her and does that mean panda may can't see also no one at this concert reacts to this free-falling girl transforming into a giant panda landing in any way other than nonchalance looks great now wears your concert ticket guess not paying doesn't matter if you enter via panda i love this moment when the friends reject me but then immediately take her back such a great use of tension movie never lets us know if this beautiful jump shot goes in or if he was shooting at an imaginary hoop you want it i want it you want it i do not want it this kid who was holding up a sign to show his support but also completely blocking his own view of the concert so as the kids run out the adults run in what was the conversation at the ticket booth life for them hey my wife is a giant panda and likely attacking everyone inside right now yeah the kids are screaming okay let us in because we do a ritual i ride mom what i've always said the one thing that most kaiju fights have lacked is a moment where the one kaiju stops to have a heart to heart with the other kaiju glad we're finally rectifying that you want to see crap this twerks this panda antes moment is kind of fun but are we seriously suggesting that anti-four could break this jade ring by punching it into her own hand pandeming literally took out the entire stage and speaker array when she collapsed so i'm not sure how any of these lights or mics are still working or what speakers they are meant to be sending sound through the magic sword only had shots ming so why do all the furious furries get to cross into panda mention this movie forces this sun yi with a chance to meet y'all's moment more than i just forced that movie title pun meaning will now gradually transform back to her current age while walking through this forest which is fine i guess but i'm just saying the creators of this movie should be very thankful that this mystical in-between world has such a good sense of storytelling i'm changing mom but i'm scared it'll take me away from you me too from the company that started by asking what if toys had feelings and what if bugs or fish or cars had feelings comes one of the most groundbreaking questions yet what if women had feelings people still talk about panda apocalypse 2002. but thankfully leave me and my family alone about it and i just get to exist as a panda girl with no fear or distrust from the citizens of toronto because humans are naturally just awesome like that you are so busted [Music] [Music] it's like i think about you every minute it's like i can still feel you take off i'm gonna do the steamroll don't look at the notebook don't look at the notebook don't that's it i'm getting out of here head on apply directly to the forehead listen to me listen there's a cure once again things that could have been brought to my attention yesterday i will name him george and i will hug him and pet him and squeeze him what's in the box hey tyler that's my secret captain i'm always angry

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 1,449,841

Keywords: wave jockey job, cinemasins, cinema sins, everything wrong with, eww, movie, review, movie review, disney, pixar, animated, cg animation, disney+, turning red, panda, red panda, bao, toronto, canada

Id: STY2XuyKLxU

Length: 20min 43sec (1243 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 12 2022