Everything Wrong With Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome

nearly two minutes of opening credits that prepare you for the end of this movie before it even begins remember 1985 when you could proudly display mel gibson's name on a movie with exciting music now when you think of his name you practically hear the music for schindler's list does that say tina turner every step that you take could be your final one oh okay tina turner's credited because of this song phew she's not actually acting in the movie after all right right it required two directors to wrangle the ego of mel gibson they never let poor rudolph play in any camel games also mad max has been dealing with this post-apocalyptic bullsh for two other movies and he's somehow not on alert for thieves and can't hear airplanes as they approach i guess the woman this guy was dating in the road warrior agreed to breed with him my question is why take your kid to work day north by max west monkey knows its master needs footwear so he pushes convenience off the cart i guess mel gibson was william wallace ten years before braveheart in case you confused it with jacked up prices you have no choice but to pay town h2o that's my go this movie is basically the opposite of water world water world is a discount opposite this movie complete with a guy in an umbrella hat damn this guy's card is so radioactive it's amazing everyone who goes near it hasn't gotten instant cancer or superpowers discount kevin spacey with a discount future michael jackson mask the guards here have no long-range weapons and go through so much of that rage as the lost ark that whoever they're trying to protect would be dead before they got finished showing off later max will have to give up his guns before he goes further into barter town maybe they should have the gun checked before they get to this point right okay that's all the weapons i promise no need to pat me down for hidden ones because clearly i only had room for 10 guns homoerotic elevating diaper saxophone oh god they gave her a speaking role also either tina turner is distracting me during this mad max movie or this mad max movie is distracting me from tina turner either way i'm damn distracted damn it the director said let's have you eat an apple to start a fight it'll make you look like even more of an [ __ ] the fate of kevin spacey michael jackson mask is left to the imaginations of the audience it looks like it falls down into a hole or something but there's no hole to fall into so i am confused congratulations you're the first to survive the audition and the other people who tried this must have been really bad at fighting also how many people have actually gotten this far max had to threaten the collector and shoot this one guard's hair before he was even allowed up here so how bad is security in the bartering place oh he did fall down into that open area there and he survived key aspects of this room were only revealed to us just now up to my armpits and blood and tina's character slips into describing tina's real-life marriage with ike call it underworld rule crit oh wait that's what bout of town gets his energy what oil natural gas pigs jesus how vague are you going to be until you finally tell us the energy comes from pig master blaster they're a unit they even share the same name the little one is called master okay look i'm fine with calling this guy master blaster but don't tell me that one guy is named master and the other one blaster when you just told me they share the same name that's like calling them brangelina or benefer and saying they share the same name is this the first time master blaster noticed the big periscope spying on them down here you can shovel can't you well the movie certainly can factory how long are you in for a big one that is funny it's a class job one mistake it'll blow the crap out of this place literally think what to do this is the brains of the operation i'll disconnect the battery i wouldn't do that if i were you there's no world in which mad max could hear this conversation in a loud picture factory especially when he couldn't hear that plane that stole his stuff earlier master me run farther town oh sure that's where you're living max is allowed to be a smart ass in this situation that's racist even though master blaster has embargoed the power many times and has made her admit who runs the town many times he makes anti say this over the loudspeaker this time probably because max is in the plot now luckily master blaster has a horrible weakness when it comes to high-pitched noises and max brought his whistle with him which was luckily pushed out of the carriage by the monkey earlier in the movie so everything beyond thunderdome is basically this city right it sounds cool when you hear the title but it's basically just a way to say barter town two men enter one man leaves crowd has to remind themselves of the one rule thunderdome has it's a man with no name so i guess max is the good auntie is the bad and master blaster is the ugly where's eli wallach when you need to settle this you gotta admit this is a horrible way to enjoy sports bartertown built an entire murder cage but couldn't build decent seating to watch the fight max avoids an unavoidable spike seeing that the spike thing didn't work just that one time blaster decides to go for the much more difficult jumping on max technique to kill him i just want everyone to know that this movie's entire plot rests on a monkey throwing some out of max's carriage at the beginning one of those things with a lucky whistle that just happens to be blaster's weakness morals no no look at his face how the [ __ ] did master get inside thunderdome no more methane this place finish i know you're irrigated but couldn't you wait until you got outside the thunder dome and back into the underworld before making this threat no no no two men one man leaves yeah but what does this mantra actually mean when a third man runs inside i'm still trying to figure out how he even got in there i mean he's small but he's not thunderdome hole small right or wrong we had a deal and the law says bust a deal face the wheel which is an offshoot of article 6 section 302 of the barter town law he who smelt it dealt it jesus do these [ __ ] have to chant every law one of the places this wheel can land on is the spin again choice considering that none of those choices on this wheel are good why even bother with that or is it a joke damn it might be a joke all our lives hang by a thread this [ __ ] is like the chuck woolery of barter town wait they dragged this wheel all the way in here what the hell four how did this [ __ ] even fit through the door did they assemble it inside the putting of the dude into the gulag ceremony must wait for daytime and yet all spectators from the previous night's thunderdome fight will still be interested enough to show back up and spectate again i know the movie doesn't respect this character but it's beginning to feel like the movie doesn't even respect this actor what is this tunnel for no one really knows but it comes in super handy when you need to send a monkey out to run errands movie inspires future canadian pop star douchebag on how to best ditch his monkey now with its world-renowned tracking skills monkey will find a guy riding on a horse through the desert with a 12-hour head start i don't understand the punishment wheel landed on gulag which is a prison camp or a forced labor camp in the soviet union but they basically banished him hoping he would die i guess this is mighty disrespectful of a wheel for which you have created a chant how did the prisoner guy who sent the monkey get that sweet sweet h2o and a wine skin inside the pig prison thankfully this desert wasteland gulag punishment also contains a fairy rescue godmother and hey she was 16 when this movie came out so and hey she's a discount this chick it's him i finded him you mean you're actually looking for max and he has some sort of history with your tribe that will confuse us and him for the next 10 minutes ah a society of creepy children damn max is in such bad shape his clothes turn blue hair theft damn falling out of the hospital must happen so much they tie ropes around patients legs just in case maybe the hospital shouldn't be in such an elevated position i don't know fly woke us discount lost boy thinks he's actually in peter pan emu hat mad max be on thunderdome decided you know what the ewoks weren't so bad let's do our own ewok scene without the ewoks remember this i have a feeling i'll be screaming with delight about this movie in two weeks i even plan on asking for my ticket this way one ticket to tomorrow morrowland please and much like the people in this movie worship the flying bird known as an airplane we will worship brad bird in all his magnificence man i hope that movie is good or this sin won't seem like a sin at all so this tribe thinks max is captain walker based on almost nothing except i found a rando dude in the desert and he's white a crazy wind starts blowing so that this entire tribe can get excited about captain walker's airplane and max can reveal to these kids there's no santa claus a second time damn i'm jealous to be completely fair these kids are probably eating apples for much needed nourishment but they're still kind of [ __ ] the first place you'll find is a sleaze pit called barter town now if the earth doesn't swallow you up first that place sure as hell will we are beyond thunderdome here people max punches this woman because she wants to leave this place sure he's saving her life but this is her choice man you've gone from not caring about anybody in the last movie and the beginning of this movie to all of a sudden caring what people do this is against his character but yay for the punchy hero also that's racist how does max expect these people to keep savannah tied up for the rest of the night as soon as he falls asleep somebody sympathetic is going to weigh the loyalty of knowing someone all their life against knowing someone for three hours i need as much water as i can carry it's not going to be easy defeating freedom of choice but god damn it i will go to the ends of the earth to do it movie tries to challenge lawrence of arabia's record for walking in the desert scenes well now they've experienced firsthand two of the great dangers of the fire swamp where are the others out there wait a minute so these other kids went into the underworld where they have no clue what the situation is with no plan or anything it's a wonder these guys aren't dead already this guy manages to hit all the non-target space around his target well somebody saw star wars oh yeah tina turner's in this movie i completely forgot since we've been beyond thunderdome for 40 minutes now also oh no my incredibly bizarre punishment didn't work i'm going to have to take the wheel's name in vain now wheel damn it now that i've got you where i can kill you time to gloat for a second so you can get saved listen to me the fact anyone hears her so wait there are perfectly good train tracks still intact after all these years general nature would have taken care of this not to mention all the thieves looking to profit from the metal they could steal what kind of post-apocalypse is book at page this i assure you that even if this record player could still play records that the record it's playing would definitely not sound like this it's warped cracked and dirty it would sound worse than the hall 9000 when that dick astronaut pulled his memory cards the last time we saw this guy he did a biff tan and into a tub of pigs so when did he have a chance to clean that off this cow car is straight out of death race 2000. now see this car chase action set piece is what everyone who came to see this movie expected to see only they were expecting it before the final 15 minutes and probably neither expected nor wanted the hour and a half peter pan blue lagoon [ __ ] they just sat through it this guy got rammed into by a train and there was a fiery explosion shortly after that the fact that iron bar is still alive makes me angry max steals an entire human being from anti as if she were jim mcmahon handing off to walter payton this cat is on his 12th life already also maybe there's a time where you decide you know what i don't need this michael jackson accessory anymore even when it should be burned completely beyond recognition at this point sudden bridge shows up out of nowhere now come on even fast five knew to show us when a bridge was coming up as ridiculous as that movie is a stick up oh [ __ ] you little kid how did you get out here and build that amount of dirt and time to stop the train even if you flew out here you didn't have the time unless you have mounds of dirt just lying around for this occasion wait are we now to believe that they built a mound of dirt just on the off chance that someone would run a train on it again and the kid was outside just waiting for that very thing to occur also this is perfect timing his dad has a plane and can save the day airplane that is built for small cargo will now be able to fit eight extra people and become a clown car when it comes to space max was the last one on this plane but he managed to slip by seven other people in tight quarters to get right behind jebediah movie thinks we like this guy so much we'll be thrilled every time he shows up after clearly dying in a previous scene even if he didn't die i don't know how he caught up to the rest of andy's crew don't worry ironbar i'm sure you're okay after that how does that create a clear flat runway surface wait if he can take off there why did max need to crash his truck what the [ __ ] is going on iron bars middle fingers not to max but the audience well ain't we a pair raggedy man that's it you went from no mercy to ha ha well you ruined my city but damn it i respect you this you know the years travel fast epilogue narration watch out they spit direct from out of the wasteland he's bad he's beautiful he's crazy it's the amazing spider-man

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 1,855,873

Keywords: beyond thunderdome review, cinemasins, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (Award-Winning Work), everything wrong with, eww, wave jockey job, movie review, review, cinema sins

Id: xJf-XUC7J9U

Length: 12min 59sec (779 seconds)

Published: Thu May 07 2015