I lost my dollar. [sobbing] Never seen Mr. Krabs
so broken up. [sobbing] Oh puh-leeze,
he's such a drama queen. Come on Mr. Krabs,
drop the act. [crying hysterically] Mr. Krabs,
it's just a stupid dollar. [sobbing] For pete's sake
Mr. Krabs, suck it up! [crying hysterically] -Mr. Krabs?
-What? Mr. Krabs. [crying] Okay okay Mr. Krabs, we'll
help you get your dollar back. You will?
Great! Now this machine here
is where we destroy old money by means of shredding. Pretty neat, huh boy? That's where they-- destroy money? Noooo, noooo! Why, why? [crying hysterically] Oh it's okay, sir, I'm sure-- [crying hysterically] Ow. [crying hysterically] [sobbing] [gasps] Oh, my autographed-- Noooo! [crying] What would we do
without these beautiful 20 dollar sea unicorn
wall hangers? How could we have ever survived without these
35 dollar heart lights? How could we go on without
a sea fern on every last table? It's hip, it's coral,
it's, it's losing money! Oh you're right SpongeBob, but I can't fire
my pride and joy, it would break
her fragile little heart. What am I going to do? [crying] There there Mr. Krabs, I'm sure there's another way. -That's it, boy!
-What's it? You could fire her.
It's okay if she hates you. [crying] The ambiance
in this place stinks. [crying] Oh, stinky ambiance! It's a dark time
for the Krusty Krab. [crying hysterically] Oh boy oh boy. [giggling] Okay Pearl, we gotta
make this convincing. Pearl,
I need to have a word with you. Oh no, here it goes! I don't know
if I can bear to listen. It's not that you haven't done
a good job around here. It's just that-- Oh, don't be too hard under now. Why does it have to be this way? -It's for the best.
-Well, we feel it might be in everybody's
best interest if-- I can't let him do this! Huh? Get on with it SpongeBob! Pearl, you're fired. [groaning] Thanks SpongeBob. Huh? Those two
are working for Plankton! [gasps] Ow! My own daughter? Oh, not old man Jenkins! [crying hysterically] Believe it or not,
I know what it's like to give up a best friend. You do? I was five years old, and
my father gave me a dollar. I loved that dollar,
loved it like a brother. Me and that dollar
went everywhere together. What happened
to the dollar Mr. Krabs? And one day, at the beach, it was so hot,
and I was so thirsty! I spent it on a soda! [sobbing] My best friend! [sobbing] What?
Would you get out of there! Puffly-poo, your chariot awaits. Well-- [whistling] [screaming] You'll never
have to walk again, my little love [INDISCERNIBLE]. [sighing] -Your bill sir.
-Huh? What?
One hundred dollars? Well this can't
possibly be correct! Oh my mistake, sir.
Thank you for pointing that out. This is your bill. [screaming] [sobbing] I don't understand Mr. Krabs, how can you spend one hundred
thousand dollars in one night? SpongeBob, I couldn't help but
spend every cent I had on her. I couldn't control myself. -What are you going to do?
-I don't know, boy. I've got another date tomorrow. I'm caught in the middle
of my two great loves, sweet Mrs. Puff,
and the rest of me money! [crying] I wish there was
some way I could help. Perhaps there is boy! I'm putting you
in charge of me money! Thanks SpongeBob, if I could reach,
I'd do it myself. [screaming] [screaming] My customers! [crying] Gone, gone! All I wanted was
to give me their money! [crying] [sobbing] Please, sir, take my chum,
it's the least I can do to help. You go first boy. Hey, this is great! Better than a Krabby patty? A what? [gasps] This is delicious! I'm ruined! [crying] I want Patty skates! I need two patties now! It's beautiful. I'm selling twice
as many patties, and I don't even
have to cook them! This is the happiest and
most cost effective day of my whole life. [sobbing] [screaming] How is this possible? Wait, can I have a moment
with me penny, alone? Ugh, make it quick,
we're closing in five minutes. Oh penny, I'm gonna miss you. [sobbing] [crying] Oh, it's inhuman tell you! Penny, penny...
one last kiss... goodbye. [grunting] [grunting] It's just you and
me now little penny. Oh, it's a wee bit
cramped in here. Well, that looks secure. Whoa! Bikini Bottom's erupting! -That's how.
-Cool. Look, the roof! [screaming] Ah, you lemons! Afraid of a little lava? Cashy! Nooo! Make it stop raining
that fiery destruction! [sobbing] Sorry to interrupt
your crying Mr. Krabs, but shouldn't we get to a place that doesn't have a roof
with lava coming through it? [screaming] What's all the ruckus? [groaning] [gasps] Oh no, please no,
this is terrible! [sobbing] Are you hurt? Oh, well, thank you for--
-I wasn't talking to you! Don't worry, Papa's here! [crying] Mr. Krabs-- [crying] Mr. Krabs! [crying hysterically] Mr. Krabs! Your shelf collapsed on me
and I twisted my ankle. I didn't even know
you had ankles. -Well then, say it!
-Okay. It's... it's, it's... A pirate never lies! [crying] And I've been a dirty liar! [crying] Everything you've seen is a lie! This sail is a lie. [grunting] This crew is a lie, argh! [grunting] [panting] Even this ship is a lie! All of it! All a lie! Krabby patties, two dollars. Krusty Combo 3.99? Coral bits $1.95? So you see Grandad,
I'm no pirate, just a lowly restaurant owner. I'm sorry I failed you. Fail me boy? [laughing] Why I couldn't be more proud. Look at you,
ludicrous prices. Now that's real piracy. Ya done good, boy. Oh what's wrong Mr. Baby Krabs? Are you thirsty?
That's it, drink up. [crying] Okay, maybe you're hungry. How about
a nice soft Krabby Patty? [crying] Yikes, not even
a Krabby Patty helps. How about a stack of twenties? [screaming] I gotta get outta here! You can't escape Krabs. We've glued the door shut! You'll never get me! Ah, whoa! Nice try, Krabs, but we replaced
all the glass with the rubber. [laughing] Too late Krabs, we've already
clogged all the toilets. Oh please spirits, leave me be! -Oh please, please!
-We got him good SpongeBob. Patrick, I've got one more idea, you're going to pay Krabs! -No spirits, please!
-Noo! Payyyy! Noo, don't burn me dollar! [grunting] [laughing] Well, well, well, if it isn't SpongeBob
and Patrick, [sobbing] Well Krusty Krab,
I guess this is goodbye. [sobbing] -Why, why?
-Don't cry, Mr. Krabs. Here, you can have the money
from Gary's College fund if it-- helps. [grunting] Well SpongeBob, you ready to get back
to doing what we do best? I'm ready! Thanks me boy. -Hey, Krabs.
-Huh? I knew you'd come back. You forgot something. Can't you understand I've wasted so much time
chasing after you, and now I have something that's
mine, and it makes me happy. I never thought I'd see the day. What happened
to the invertebrate I used to know? [sobbing] [crying] [crying] Would you marry me? Ah that's it, no more
hiding in my room like a scared little kid. It's time to act like a man! [screaming] Gasp! Please don't marry him mommy,
don't marry this bad, bad man. I don't want you to! Ha ha! Mr. Krabs, the steering's out!
They got our brakes! What do we do? Oh, maybe
we should call their parents? No Mr. Krabs. You can't win a kid's game
by thinking like an adult. You have to think young. You're right, boyo. We have to dive deep back
into my childhood. [crying] Too far back Mr. Krabs, too far! [gagging] You like it? -It's...
-Yeah? It's... [gagging] Well, what do you think? It's the second foulest
thing I've ever tasted. [gagging] I'm going back
to Plankton's chum. What am I going to do? I can't let Plankton have
so much as one single customer! I just can't avoid it! [sobbing] I guess you'll have to make chum
that's as good as Plankton's. But to do that, I need to know
how Plankton makes his chum. Ooh. We're taking our money back! [yelling] [crying] -Mr. Krabs, are you okay?
-How can I be okay when me money's gone? [crying] All gone! [crying] Oh no! That loose change out there
is driving me wallet mad with money lost. [growing] Poor little guy is starving! There you go boy, you're free, go towards the money boy,
towards the money! Hey, a wallet! Ha and there's
50 bucks in it, all right! Hey! On no!
What am I gonna do? [crying] [grunting] I can't make it. We're doomed! Uh huh, that's what I've been
trying to tell you. [crying] Comfort me. [crying] 15 minutes later. [crying] -Ah look at us, old, gray--
-Nearing the end. Say Plankton, if we ever make it out of here
with our lives, let's agree to work together. You're right, Krabs. Let's bury the hatchet
now and forever. We have a deal. The jog is up Krabs! I know all about the suit,
and your secret fear. Secret fear? What are you talking about? See for yourself! Enjoy the show! No, no, no! M-m-make it stop, make it stop! [laughing] Ah don't matter anyway lad,
she can't close us down. She closed us down, I'm ruined! [sobbing] How did it come to this? You called Ms. Gristlepuss
a disgusting old prune, then you threatened her
with a French fry strainer. Well, I didn't know her husband
was the chief of police! -Thanks again, Al.
-Any time, honey. See ya at home for dinner. Mmm, I'm starving, yee haw! I just love that man. [sobbing] How long has he been
standing over there? Um, four days. It's no use, I'm ruined! [crying hysterically]\ Whoa, can I touch it? [sniffing] Money? [sniffing] Burning? [screaming] [crying] SpongeBob,
who's responsible for this? I guess I am, Mr. Krabs. You're on probation, boy! Squidward, SpongeBob! Just put me out of my misery! Why Mr. Krabs? What could be wrong
on such a fine day? Fine? Today is not that day
for that word, boy. Not after I received this letter
from the Fry Cooks Union! It says here Fry Cook
SpongeBob SquarePants has accumulated
too much vacation time, and if you don't take some
time off, I'll have to pay a fi! [crying] Time off? I guess there's just
no other way to say this. SpongeBob, take a vacation. Aye aye, Mr. Krabs! Well, that went better
than I expected. I can't believe
you let a recipe ruin such a wonderful friendship. You were
my only true friend, that didn't have
a President printed on him. But money doesn't hug back. My life has been nothing
but a long line of disappointment
since we became enemies. All these years, I've been
trying to steal your formula. When I was really just trying
to steal back our friendship! Really? It's all I ever really wanted, to get back
to the way it used to be. You and me against the world! How about a hug Krabs, old pal? I'd like that Planky old chum. [crying] Doesn't this warm
your heart, Karen? I suppose it would if I had one. I'm sorry Krabs old buddy. [sobbing] Me too, me too. Now Karen!
Back off rag boy. [laughing] [gasps] -Sabotage!
-Go Karen! Mr. Krabs, you all right? Are you sleepy? [gasps] Mr. Krabs! I don't smell his pulse. What's that? [groaning] Is somebody there? [groaning] Don't look at me! -Mr. Krabs?
-Leave me be! You're alive!
And... naked. [sobbing] It's true, I've molted. What's molted? It's when the Krab gets too fat,
erm, outgrows his shell. It falls off. -Wow.
-Armor abs Krabs can't show up at the
reunion like this! I'm pink and soft and unmanly,
I'm all flab, and no ab! [crying] -Barnacles!
-SpongeBob! Sorry about
the foul language Mr. Krabs, but you're acting like there
never was a man in that shell. The Krabs of his Navy days
was fearless! He wouldn't let something
as insignificant as a missing shell
slow him down. Yeah! Who cares how silly,
pink, and fleshy you look? How non threatening,
limp, and soggy you are? [sobbing] Oops. I'm... I'm setting the Krabby Patty
secret formula to Plankton! Eugene! I have no choice,
and stop calling me Eugene. Tell me that I'm dreaming. Not this time, little fella. [crying] Daddy help! Pearl! [crying] Can no one
stop this madness? You two! My apologies, most noble,
and valiant warriors. I guess this is what you call
the royal treatment. I always wanted to be spent
on a fairy princess outfit! What, no way! I wanna be spend on corn dogs! I want to be spent on diapers! [yelling] Oh, wait a minute.
I am not spending you on corn dogs, diapers,
or fairy princess outfits! Did you find everything okay? Unfortunately. [cheering] [sobbing] Mr. Krabs, looking good! [screaming] -What's wrong with Mr. Krabs?
-I don't know. He's acting kind of weird. Okay. Don't worry, I can solve this. More drive thrus, more money! [screaming] Hey, is somebody
eating potato chips? Don't worry Mr. Krabs,
we can fix it. We might need to buy
some more toothpaste though. [crying]
