Okay, mail call, boys.
Let's see who we have. Toothy. Four Eyes. Lefty. Fats. Fingers. Einstein. Gretch, Chuckles, Bingo,
Blammey, Wheels, Boogey, Red, Trip, Wings,
Skeeter, Stinky. Thanks, SpongeBob! No problem, guys. I got to explain. Explain what? That you,
Squidward Tentacles voted most likely to suck eggs
in high school are trying to pass off
a lousy burger stand as a five star... restaurant? Hommina, hommina, hommina,
hommina, hommina, hommina, hommina, hommina,
hommina, hommina, hommina, hommina, hommina,
hommina, hommina. Table for Hommina?
I can seat you immediately! [whispering]
How did you do all this? It was easy,
once I cleared my mind. But what about Krabs
and Patrick? Taken care of. [grunting] Right this way, please. Good evening, sir.
From our menu tonight, might I recommend
the Krabby Newburg? We take the finest cuts of aged,
imported kelp, stuff them with herbs
from our garden, wrap them in parchment
with our award-winning shallot tapenade,
slow-roast them for six hours in our wood-fired,
clay-filled oven, or kiva, and serve them with a garnish
of wilted coral on a mahogany plank. Mmm... this is fantastic! Thank you, sir. [groaning] SpongeBob! Squidward!
Let's move it, boys. Get those power shakes out
and those heart rates up. [panting] [grunting] [screaming] Sorry! [panting] [grunting] [laughing] [groaning] Horrible sustenance. Let's get out of here! Pardon my reach. [grunting] Go on without me. No, wait, don't. Squidward,
I know Larry means well, but he's messing up
the Krusty Krab. This used to be a shrine
to the delicious, Krabby Patty. Now it's just a stinky gym. Feel... the... burn! [grunting] [music playing] Ahoy, there, mateys.
Welcome to the Krabby O'Mondays. It's my birthday. Can I start you off with-- Will you sing
the Krabby Monday's birthday song
to my special little man? Happy, happy birthday. [sighing]
Happy, happy-- Uh, Squidward.
Can I talk to you for a second? What's our motto here
at Krabby O'Mondays? Sincere service with a smile. Well, yes, but with
the Krabby O'Mondays spirit. Now, Squidward,
you wouldn't want to have to talk
to human resources. Would you? So, what's our motto again? Uh. Uh. Sincere service with a smile. Now you're getting it. <i> This tastes nice.</i> <i> Ow. Curses, foiled again. Ow.</i> You turned the Krusty Krab
into some kind of museum? That's right, me boy.
It's all history now, but you, you have
the most important job of all. You give tours and sell tchotchkes
in the gift shop. Yeah, but what if someone wants
a Krabby Patty? We've got plenty
of Krabby Patties right here in the freezer. <i> Ding.</i> You see? Customers at the museum can cook
the patties themselves, like this.
[humming] Yeah, it's so convenient, see?
[chuckles] Finally, a cool place for teens
to just, you know, hang out. Pearl, you're a genius. All these young, hip,
new customers. Phooey on Squidward.
He can't keep up with the times. You're a true visionary, Pearl. Thank you, SpongeBob.
I do have 20/20 vision. Well,
hip people have to eat too. Back to the grill. The customers may be hot,
but my grill is hotter. [sizzling sound] SpongeBob, order up. Two sal lads.
Never heard of it. I've got to stay hip. I don't want to end up
like silly old Squidward. But what in the name
of Davy Jones's locker is a sal lad? Here you go, two sal lads. Ew, gross.
Those aren't salads. Take those back. Remove the bun,
the patty and the condiments. But that leaves
just lettuce and tomato. Exactly. All right. Okay. No buns. That's hip.
No, Patty's. Happening. Oh, yeah, that's definitely
the coolest meal I ever saw. This is so cool. Two salads. Whee! Whoa! This is fantastic. The local hockey team
is paying me to practice here. Coming through! Hi, Patrick! Hi, SpongeBob. [whistling] Where'd the puck go? Holy shrimp! Plankton! I did it.
I finally got a Krabby Patty. Not quite, Plankton. You'll have
to get past me first. There's the puck.
That little square guy has it. Get 'em. [yelps] [laughing]
Yes! Whoa oh oh! You're mine now, Plankton! You won't get away with this,
Plankton. Hey, SpongeBob.
Long time, no see. What you've been up to?
How was your weekend? Oh, my weekend was fabulous.
Thank you for asking. Holy Krabby Patties!
A frozen cephalopod. [screaming] I'll be out of here in no time. Greetings, primitive. Sp... SpongeBob, is that you? SpongeBob? No, I am SpongeTron.
Welcome to the future. - What?
- Welcome to the future. Uh. The future? Huh? Oh, okay, what's going on here? Why is everything... chrome? Everything is chrome
in the future. Oh, my. Impossible.
He's lying. He's right. Of course, I'm right, Squidward.
Just ask my clones. SpongeTrons X, Y and Z. Are the other letters
of the alphabet involved here? Sure, all 486 of 'em. Future. Future. Future. Future. Thanks. Now, listen, all of you.
I don't belong here. This is all a horrible mistake. Please,
we've got to do something. Jellyfishing. Somebody say "Jellyfishing"? Hi, PatTron. Just listen to me.
I'm not supposed to be here. I got to get home
to my own time period. I gotta go! Well, why didn't you just ask. The time machine is
down the hall to the left. [laughing] Oops. Oh, yeah,
that one's that can opener. Try the one on the right. Well, I wouldn't have chosen
this interior. Oh, what's this? Well, if SpongeBob exists
in the future, I'd better go to the past. [beeping] [gasping] [screaming] Say, this Krabby Patty tastes
even better than usual. What's in it, SpongeBob? Well, it's the same old patty except now each one has
a pinch of chum added. A pinch of ch- ch- chum? Good work, me boyo. Boyo? [crying] Isn't it beautiful? Where are all the new
hotel employees? [gasping]
Me first hotel guest. Watch me reel 'em in. Welcome to the Krusty Towers,
where our motto is... Ah, that's great.
I'd like a Double Krabby Patty with no onions
and extra pickles. If you want a Krabby Patty, you'll have to rent a room
and order room service. Ooh, I've only got an hour
for lunch. [sighing] Oh, ya reeled that one in
like a pro. Okay, Squidward,
you run the front desk. I'd like a Krabby Patty, please. This is a hotel, now. If you want a Krabby Patty, you'll have to get a room
and order room service. Okay, one Krabby Patty
and one room with cheese. Oh, I can get cheese
on the Krabby Patty too? Patrick,
you only live 400 yards away. Why do you want
to check into a hotel? Sometimes I just need
to get away from it all. Wow, this hotel has everything. Give me that.
Sign the register. I didn't know there'd be a test.
I didn't study. Patrick, all you have
to do is write your name. Oh, okay. Do you mind? Don't look! And done. Close enough.
Here's your room key. I'll need some help
with my bags. How can you have bags? You just found out
this is a hotel. This is a hotel? Oh. SpongeBob. Yes, Squidward? Take Patrick and he's bags
to his room. What about my Krabby Patty? And bring him a Krabby Patty. Squidward, you can take
Patrick's bags up to his room. SpongeBob,
you go make the Krabby Patty. Oh, Mr. Krabs. What's the matter?
Afraid of a little manual labor? "I'm Squidward, and
I have to work for a living." [crying] Fine. Let's go, Patrick. [grunting] Step right up, folks. Take a ride
on the Krusty Sponge Fun Train. Tickets are only $1.98.
Seat belts not included. [cheering] Okay,
how am I gonna do this now? [groaning] Mommy, is that you? [panting] [whistle blowing] Mr. Krabs, I really think I should be getting back
to the grill now. Are you kidding, lad? Just look
at all these paying customers. Who's ready for another lap?! [cheering] Hey, Squidward, look at this. We're charging 52
smackeroos for this little guy. [laughing] Oh! What is that? [laughing]
I don't know. Some kind of bean paste
or something. Wrong, monsieur! It is ze Rare Fruit
of ze Kazook Tree. So it's supposed to smell
like a rotten gym socks? Its naturally rancid odor
can only be neutralized by shredded gold. Shredded... gold?
[screaming] Couldn't we use
less expensive ingredients? Price can be no object
when dealing with exquisite food like zis. It must be prepared with only
the finest ingredients, and eaten
with only the finest silverware, while sitting
on the finest furniture! Zis... is not
ze chair I ordered. Yeah, well you see
those were out of stock. And zis fork of plastic... Spray painted to look silver,
is it not? [chuckling nervously] I cannot prepare food
UNDER ZESE CONDITIONS! All right, sir, it's time. Time? But it's too soon. I'm not ready
to let them go free. But you said to go ahead
with the plan no matter how hard you fight me. I-I don't remember saying
anything like that. I do. [gasping] Free Krabby Patties! Get your totally
and completely free of charge Krabby Patty! No! It's for your own good, Eugene. Free Krabby Patties! Come get
your free Krabby Patties! [echoing] Phew. For a second there, I thought we were going
to have to give away a ton of Krabby Patties
but it looks like free ain't even enough
to jump start me business. Wait. Free ain't even enough?
Me businesses is doomed. [crying] I'll have a medium fries,
a large Krabby Patty <i> and a medium drink.</i> Coming right up, sir. SpongeBob,
I need a medium fries, large Krabby Patty
and a medium drink. I'll have that ready
in two shakes of a lamb ray's tail.
[laughing] [humming] That oughtta fix it. Thank you. Come again.
