(sighing) Mom! Where's that old photo of me? Mom! (mom) I don't know!
Why is it so important right now? Are you kidding me? Because it's only Thursday for 13 more hours and if I don't post an old photo of myself for Throwback Thursday, I'll be missing out on a huge trend that's permeating
throughout my youthful generation. No one at school will talk to me, I'll never get a girlfriend, and I'll end up dying alone, AND I'LL HATE YOU FOREVER! Oh! Heh. Never mind, mama! I found it. (camera shutter snaps) (snarkily) Don't know where
my mom found this old photo of me. LOL. So embarrassing. #ThrowBackThursday. (Ian) ♪ Every Instagram ever! ♪ (camera shutter snaps) (clattering) (camera shutter snaps) (sigh of relief) (lisping) Sir, you've been
here for three hours. Could you please just
eat your food and leave? Nah, we're good. (dish shatters) I'll accept the check, please. (camera shutter clicks) #SoStuffed. #Couldn'tEvenEatAnotherBite! #Blessed. (Ian) ♪ Every Instagram ever! ♪ (hairdryer blows) (grunts) (lazy sigh) #WokeUpLikeThis. #NoMakeup. #Blessed! (Ian) ♪ Every Instagram ever! ♪ All right, guys, on the count of three. One, two, three! (all cheer) One more time, guys.
I'm so sorry. Last one, last one. One, two, three. (weak cheers) (whispering) Crap. All right, one more time, guys.
I'm so sorry. (groaning) F*ck that. (Ian muttering) Every Instagram ever. - (camera shutter snaps)
- Oh yeah. Yeah, that's really hot, man. All right, you do me now. All right, sweet. Yeah. - Yeah.
- Oh, that's a good-- Guys, your mom made hot po-- OH, hello! ♪ (dance music) ♪ Oh, okay, so you guys... You guys are like... you guys are like this? (disgusted groan) Don't be gay, dad! Todd's just my Man Crush Monday. I don't understand a goddamn thing anymore. #ManCrushMonday. #ParentsJustDon'tUnderstand. #Blessed. (Ian) Ever. Come on, do something funny! Come on, you worthless piece of trash! Do something! (dog whimpers) (camera shutter snaps) Ha ha! My dog is SO funny! #TotallyDidn'tStageThisPhotoHeDidItAllByHimself. HEY! Whachu doin' to my dawg? No, no, no, no, no, no! (camera shutter clicks) #JustGotPitchforked. #Gangasta! (Ian) Ever. One, two, three! (weak cheering) Okay, one more time.
We gotta get this, all right? - (all moan)
- Oh my god! (screaming in frustration) (Ian) Ever. (mom) Now hold still. - (camera shutter clicks)
- Got it! (daughter) Yay! Yay! Yay! Okay, hold on, honey. Mommy's trying to choose
between Mayfair and Valencia. Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Look it! (giggling) Bye, mommy! Love you too, honey! (camera shutter snaps) (mom) I would never let
my baby out of my sight. #IDon'tWannaMissAThing. (Ian) Ever. ♪ (dance music) ♪ I can't believe you slept with my boyfriend! You slut! Get off it! You were there too, you whore. (gasping) (shrieking) (girl) The nights you'll never remember. The friends you'll never forget. (vapid chuckle) #Besties. #2Gether4Ever. #Blessed! (Ian) Eeeeh. (photographer) All right, guys, last time. (moaning) Oh, crap! I was on video the whole time, guys. (spluttering) Guys? (Ian) ♪ Every Instagram ever! ♪ (Ian) Hey, guys, thank you
so much for watching our first episode of Every [Blank] Ever. Be sure to subscribe to see more later. (Anthony) If you want to see bloopers
and deleted scenes, click the video on the left. Seriously! Who lets kids on the beach?! (grumbles angrily) (Ian) And if you wanna see us
say some very naughty things in the whisper challenge with Olivia-- I have really nice nipples. Do I like [bleep]? (cracking up) (Ian) Click the video on the right. Also, if you're watching
this on a phone or tablet, all these links are
in the description box below. (Anthony) And thanks again
for watching our first episode of Every [Blank] Ever. Make sure to fill in the blank
in the comments below so we know what
to make fun of in the future. Every [Blank] Ever's coming
out every other Tuesday! (Ian) Thanks, guys.
We love you! (Anthony) Thanks, guys.
We love you long time.
