Oh oh oh! [groaning] [sighing] The perfect end
to a perfect day: buying ourselves
the perfect ice cream. So many flavors. [yodeling] Whoo-hoo! Hmm, what brand should we buy,
Hogan Düp? No, that's too fancy. Rocky road! With real rocks! Rocky road,
unlike our friendship, which is a smooth avenue,
and will never have any bumps. Bump. When did food get so ugly? [slurping] Oh, yeah, that hit the spot. One caramel sundae, please. Oh, I think you'll have to go to the party without me,
Patrick. There's just no way I can get
that golden brown in time. But that's no reason
you shouldn't go. Oh! Patrick, why did ya- Can't talk, working. Really, Patrick, why did you- Ugh, I feel sticky. Take a look. Whoo! Thanks, Patrick. [grunting]
I'm stuck. Okay. Ready for your second
and last chance? Hmm. [chuckles] Let me show you how to make- Ice cream sandwiches?
I think I got this. Ooh. Time for my first break? No, no, no, no,
not yet, not yet. [chuckles] But I think
you're ready for the big time. Alright, kid, relax,
don't choke and try to have fun. Easy queasy, lemon sneezy. Ta-da. Work is hard work.
[snoring] [cheering] [giggling] Hello, folks, I'm Edible Ed.
Start with my head. [cheering] [honking] Oh-ho. Great job, newbie. Now you can take
your first break. My break?
I can eat ice cream now? All you can handle. [screaming] Thanks for your help, buddy. Now, let's dig in. Oh, I'd love to. But if I don't hurry,
I'll be late for my job. Sure you can handle
that ice cream all... by yourself? Silly question. [burping] Good luck, my employed pal. [beeping] Oh! Only two more minutes
for my break! And two more minutes
for ice cream! Chug, chug, chug, chug! [grunting] Brain freeze! Hey, SpongeBob.
You look so sparkly today. Of course I do. For I am SpongeBob,
Emperor of the Sea. Oh. No. My ice cream! Oh, why is the world so full
of pain? [crying] Fear not bestest of friends. You shall have all the ice cream
you could ever eat. No, you'll only make it worse. [screaming]
Best day ever! No, worst day ever. See? I can fix this. Hooray! Boo. I think I know a way
to make you both happy. You really don't.
How do you not get that by now? An ice cream geyser! Brain freeze!
I can't eat it all. Uh. I've never been
more disappointed in myself. [screaming] Ooh, I like- Oh, the creamy delicious horror. Save us, SpongeBob!
Save us! No, wait. Okay, now save us! Stop, ice cream, stop! Stop! [rumbling] [screaming] Oh, I just made it worse! Patrick, I ruined everything. Oh, SpongeBob,
I wouldn't say that. Our baby! I'll never mow you again! Take me money! Ow. Okay, SpongeBob,
you ruined everything. No sponge should have
this much power. We told you so. - Not helping!
- Well, maybe I can help. I believe I have something
of yours. My spatula.
Then what's this? That is my trident. Well, take your trident.
I don't want it anymore. Oh, perfect. Pfft. Big tough guy. What are you doing, Squidward? Just watch. Enjoying your sherbert, Herbert? My name's not Herbert. Oh, I know it's not. Your name is "Hey."
What's your name? Hey! Told ya!
Here, let me help you. Funny, didn't feel a thing. Uh, Squidward, I don't think
you should lick that. It's got germs. Ha! Germs can't hurt me.
Nothing can hurt me! <i> No you don't!</i> <i> Oh, no, we're not going
to the tacky Krusty Krab.</i> You're right. We're going
through the drive-thru! Triple Krabby Patty
with five scoops of ice cream, please. [grunting] Squidward, you see me struggling
with this boat and you act like you don't care. It's not an act. I hate to do this to ya,
triple Krabby Patty with five scoops of ice cream,
but I have no choice. <i> No, no, stop. I don't like.</i> Hey, SpongeBob! <i> Oh, not this idiot again!</i> Ahhh! Ah,
I thought I smelled ice cream. Time to initiate
the first variable. One big bowl, one small bowl.
Exactly eight ounces per bowl. Free ice cream!
Free ice cream! One day only!
Get your free ice cream! Oh boy! Let's go! You're the boss! Free ice cream! Oh my sea stars! Free ice cream! Hey, boys! How'd ya like a nice free bowl
of tootsie frootsie ice cream? Okey-dokey! One free ice cream, please? All sold out.
Maybe I'll get some later. Ow! [mumbling] lousy first come
first serve. Um, your- your bowl is bigger. Do you wanna trade? Yeah. Mm? [groaning] You got more ice cream. Patrick, I think your ice cream
only looks smaller cause the bowl is big. Well, I wanna trade back. There's only one fair thing
to do. What's that? Patrick, you call that fair? [shattering]
I'm in charge. Uh, oh. Yeah. Time for variable two. More free ice cream here!
Now, with same sized cones! Huh? I just got my slippers on! Here ya go! I'll take those my good man. - But, Patrick, I
- I'm in charge. One cone, please? All gone! [grumbling]
For the love of Pete! Can I have my cone now?
Can I have my cone now? Can I have my cone now?
Can I have my cone now? Hmmm... Rub my feet first! Oh, come on! Who's in charge? Alright, I'll rub your feet. [groaning] Hey! My ice cream is melting
all over your hand! Oh... I'll fix that. Patrick, you are making
very poor choices! Don't you back-sass me! I'm in charge and you have
to do what I say! Now count that bucket
of white sand. Alright, I will! 1,893,601, 1,893,602, 1,893,603. Done!
Now to count the black sand. Oh, that's a pity. Looks like you'll have
to start over. Aaaah! Enjoying that ice cream,
Patrick? Yes, I am. Would you like sprinkles on it? Hey! Two, please. One for me and one
for my best friend, Patrick. I didn't really ask
who they're for. Thanks. There you go. It was only 59 cents
for the ice cream. Oh, that's okay.
I kind of have more money than I know what to do with
right now. Looks like my ex wife was wrong.
I am in the right line of work. A triple gooberry sundae,
please. Extra nuts. Sure, that's going to be 2.98. Uh, hey, Bert, you got, like,
eight cents I can borrow? Yeah, let me check.
No, I don't, Bill. Sorry. You know,
why is it I always have money when you need to borrow it? I don't know what to say. Are you gentlemen low on funds?
Let me help. Here you go. Whoa, uh, eh, that's okay.
I just need eight cents. That's okay.
I already got my ice cream. See? Okay. Thanks. Sure thing.
Do you need some too, Bert? - Okay.
- Excuse me. Could I have some too? Oh, you want
to buy some ice cream? No, I'm allergic,
but... I'll be your best friend. It's a deal. Hey, I think I could hang out
with this guy for a while. Me too. - Me, too.
- Me three. Ice cream? Stop eating my kelp! Okay, okay, jeez.
Try to help a fella out. I'll just have to eat
this ice cream cone instead. Oh, do you like
to eat ice cream, Patrick? Hm. Yeah. Then have some more. Whoa. [laughing] Still want that ice cream? Boy I do. Thanks Squidward.
Want some, SpongeBob? Last one to the cone is
a rotten clam. Are you done yet? All done. We well occurs.
They got an ice cream parlor, I'll take one scoop
of vanilla ice cream. Police.
You all new here, aren't you? Yep. I just got off
on the train. You don't say. [squeaking] [sighing] - Want some?
- No, thanks, Patrick. Um, you got ice cream
in your eyebrows. Yeah, that's the problem
with this brand. I'll be right back. Hurry back...
so we can go on the ride. [screaming] What's the matter, SpongeBob? Oh, delicious dairy treat,
I don't know what to do. Patrick's your best friend.
You can't let him down. I know,
but the ride is really scary. You wanna see scary?
I'll show you scary! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! You like that? You like that?
Huh, you like that? It's just a ride.
What are you so scared about? You can do it. No you can't.
You're a big crybaby. Oh, yeah? I thought we'd settled this
the last time! Ow, quit it! Ow, quit it!
Ow, quit it! Ow, quit it! SpongeBob,
I have to tell you something. I have to tell you something
too, Patrick. <i> Attention. Glove World!
will be closing in five minute.</i> Five minutes?! What are you looking at? [popping] [popping] I don't care where you're going
just take me away from here. Then take one card
and shove it in your ear. [crying] But I don't like pistachio! Then why did you ask for it? [crying] And finally, just say the words
"Hobris-Pobris." [gasping] Squidward! My simple card-trick has turned
you into an ice cream cone. Which means...
I am a level ten wizard! I suppose I should change
you back to squid form. Presto! Uh, let's see. Umm... A-ha! Alakazam! [gasping] Abracadabra. [gasping]
Okilee-dokilee. Hobra-cobra. Oh! Open sesame. Change-o back-o to Squidward-o,
please-o? Oh, I am so sorry, Squidward.
[sniffling] I've transformed you
into a delicious dairy dessert and I can't change you back!
[crying] There, there, Squidward.
There is no need to cry. I promise you will continue
your normal life despite the fact
that you are now edible. [music playing] [music playing] [music playing] Whoa-oh! Whoa! [screaming] Squidward! Speak to me! Speak! [panting, screaming] [panting] Hey, Squid, are you okay? Hey, Squid, are you still okay? [screaming, laughing] Hey, Squidward,
I got something for ya! Someone to keep you company
in that drab ol' freezer. Oh, aren't they cute? I promise to stand by as an eternal guard
over my buddy. Hi, SpongeBob, whatcha doing? I have turned poor Squidward
into a frozen dessert. That's awful. How tragic. Poor Squidward. It's all my fault. Did you say frozen dessert? Yeah. I turned him into a tasty
soft-serve with a waffle cone. [crying] Oh... soft serve. Patrick! Stop eating Squidward! Oh, sorry. Patrick! - Pat...!
- But he's so tasty! [screaming] Look, Patrick!
Don't you understand!? This isn't just your ordinary
ice cream cone. It's pistachio. No! It's Squidward! And no matter what happens,
I promised him that I would watch over him
to ensure his soft, frozen life is unchanged. [screaming] Patrick! Squidward has melted!
Quick, call the police. What am I going to do?!
Oh, Neptune, it's all my fault! What have I done?!
What have I done?! What have I done?!
What have I done?! Back in Texas, we call ice cream
'frozen cow juice'. Excuse me for a sec. Hi-yah!
Thank you. Oh, no, thank you. Hi-yah! We're gonna find something
that's so dang fun that you'll have
to come outside. Trampoline. Ice cream. Underwater surfing. Two ice creams. Ferris wheel. Still two ice creams. Clam wrestling. Washing an old person. I'm cool. I'm every bit as cool as Larry. And if I'm not,
let me be struck by... [thundering] a flying ice cream truck. [music chiming] And live! [music chiming] Please do not land flying
ice cream trucks on the bathers. [groaning] [music playing] [music playing, laughing] Number two: ice cream!
Yeah! [screeching] One double chocolate
molar blowout, please. One molar blowout, coming up! No! You hate ice cream.
You only want Krabby Patties. Hey you! Cancel that order! AH! Ow. You hate high-fives
and ice cream? Are you sure
you're my conscience? I, uh, I'm absolutely positively
your conscience. Hey, doesn't your nose grow when you tell lies
in fairy tales? Nope. Noses only grow
when you make up the truth. See? Ah-ha-ha! Oh, oh,
I wanna make up the truth, too! Uh, I ate a hot air balloon
for breakfast. I-I-I mean, um, I did not eat
a hot air balloon for breakfast. Hey! I got a big nose too! Nose fight! En garde! [grunting] [cheering] Hooray! [cheering] [laughing] Sorry. [grunting] Ice cream! Come on,
I don't have time for this. Yeah, four scoops. Patrick, have you've forgotten?
I got to go. Don't be such a sour puss.
Here, I'll buy you a cone. [party horns blaring] Congratulations.
You're my 100th customer. From now on, you can come back
and have all the free ice cream you want. [laughing] [music playing] [shivering] [music playing] [music playing] Well, this certainly has been
a glorious day. Seaweed surprise. Also, uh...
Molted Coral Crunch. Ooh ooh ooh,
also, lipids and cream, We're all out. In fact,
we're out of everything which means you owe us $86.50. What do you say to a trade? I say pay up
before I call the cops. You dare refuse my barter?
Then accept my chop. Hi-yah. [shattering] I don't feel so good. Aha!
Hand in the tip jar again, eh? [grunting] Okay. Get ready, Spatchie. Time to grill up one more
golden piping-hot Krabby- Wha? Double dipped milkshake? Gee, I haven't made
one of those in a while! ORDER UP! One Double Dipped Milkshake! Wait! I almost forgot! Cherry on top!
There you are, sir! A perfect Double Dipped
Milkshake! Enjoy! Well, it looks delightful. [grunting] This thing's frozen! Barnacles! How am I supposed
to drink this?! GAH! This shake is disgusting! Why, you probably don't even
have a license to milkshake! A license to milkshake?
Well, of course I do, silly! And it doesn't expire until...
seven years ago?! Your milkshake license expired
seven years ago?! OUTRAGEOUS!
I DEMAND A REFUND! He he he! Now... let's not say
things we might regret later! Tell you what,
you come back tomorrow and SpongeBob will make you
a proper milkshake. Alright! See you tomorrow! Ice cream. Looks like your best friend
isn't a friend at all. [laughing] Hey, SpongeBob.
I got ya an ice cream. Thank you, best friend Patrick. It's your favorite, Dill Pickle Swirl with mustard
and extra bacon bits. Patrick,
this is your favorite ice cream. My favorite is plain vanilla. Oh. Oh, right.
Well, more ice cream for me. Oh, can I borrow five bucks? Here.
Take your dirty rotten money. [whimpering] I don't even know you any more. [crying] What's with him? I guess he didn't want
any ice cream. [slurping] [slurping] [slurping] No, really,
ya gotta come save me! Hey, Sandy, who's your friend? But... but you're supposed
to be in the gorilla suit. I'm am in the gorilla suit. I thought I was doing
a pretty good job. If you're Patrick,
then who's that? AH! A real gorilla! Huh? [screaming] One milkshake coming right up. You've redeemed yourself,
SpongeBob. This is the best milkshake
I've ever had. [clamoring] Where'd you learn those moves,
SpongeBob? That would be from me.
And in light of recent events, SpongeBob,
I'd like to give you this. My milkshake license.
[sniffling] If only it were this easy
to get a boating license. [laughing] You don't wash your hands,
Patrick? Never have, never will. - Blegh.
- Does that bother you? Huh, SpongeBob? The only had one ice cream cone. That's okay.
Thank you, friend. Thanks. One, please. Excuse me. One, please. Sorry, kid, we're all out. Ah, barnacles. [crying] Plankton?
What are you doing here? And why are you crying? Oh, hi, SpongeBob. I'm crying because I've got
these two ice cream cones, but I only need one. [crying] I don't know what to
do with the other one. [crying] [crying] I'll eat one of those
ice cream cones for you. SpongeBob,
would you do that for me? Sure. SpongeBob? SpongeBob? - SpongeBob!
- Yeah? Isn't it great
to get the things you desire, like that ice cream cone,
for instance? You can have anything you want
with a little training. Training? Yes. You just have
to learn to be more assertive. And I can show you how. - Assertive, huh?
- That's right. Anything I want? Sounds great. Wonderful. [laughing] [laughing] SpongeBob.
Don't let that guy sit on you. Assertiveness lesson number one:
tell him to get off. Um, excuse me, sir. You're sitting on my body,
which is also my face. No, no, be assertive. Beep beep. Not insertive. SpongeBob,
you missed your chance. You've got to be aggressive
to get the things you want. You're too soft. But I'm a sp- Don't say it. There's the guy
who took your ice cream. Don't you want it back? Ice cream. Listen, you, my friend's got
something to say. What? Who said that?
Was it you? Tell him off, SpongeBob.
Assert yourself. That's my ice cream cone. Great. Now let him have it. You can have it. Say, thanks. No. I'll show you how. Hey, pencil neck. Yeah you. Slither over here. Surrender that ice cream cone
or every waking moment for you will become a swirling torrent
of pain and misery! [crying] Hey, that was crying. Those were tears of joy. He was happy
that you were assertive. You see how wonderful life
can be when your maniacal? Uh, I thought
it was called assertive. Whatever. Well, if it got me
this ice cream, then I like it. I made it. [laughing] It's beautiful. And a good ice cream day
to you, sir. Yes, it's a good day
for ice cream! And what's your pleasure? Oh, I want
your bestest ice cream for my bestest buddy, SpongeBob! Excellent choice, sir. One Heavenly Paradise coming up. [mooing, cheering] [cheering, trumpeting] SpongeBob won't mind
if I just take a little taste. [buzzing] Aw, this coupon's out of date.
Expired two years ago. Sorry, we can't honor it. No ice cream for SpongeBob? [grunting] I demand
that you honor my coupon! [sobbing loudly] Temper tantrum in center aisle! I'm on it. Take my coupon! Take my coupon.
Take my coupon. Take my coupon. Ah, take my- You poor, miserable creature. I'm miserable. You wretched, worthless, shabby- Hey, don't you think
you're being a little harsh? Not really. Look at him. Uh! Never mind. Continue
and bump it up a little bit. Listen, buddy,
there is one person who can honor this coupon,
the person who owns this store. The Ice Cream King himself. The Ice Cream King? Oh yeah. He lives up there
in that mansion. Wow. Do you need a push? Yeah. Would you, please? [grunting] Oh! Hello? Are you the exterminator? Oh. [laughing]
No. I'm not the extra gator. I'm here to redeem my coupon
for a free ice cream! It's for my bestest friend,
but it's out of date. This may still be redeemable
according to the fine print. I didn't bring my reading eyes. Try my glasses! Oh, ooh. It says "garbaldy goop." But spelled backwards is... "Poog Ydlabrag." The King's Challenge! Hair growing contest! [grunting] Ah-ha! Wow. Oh... [grunting] Oh ho. That's sad. Watch this. [grunting] Try beating that. Oh, man. [grunting] [grunting] Ha, ha! I beat you. Not so fast! Ha! Can I redeem my coupon now? Not just yet.
Best two out of three. Ooh. Your butterscotch style is
strong, Low Fat, but it is no match
for my brownie bits! Ha, ha, ha! You'll wish your cone was a cup
when I whip you into cream! Hi-ya! [yelling] They told me you had scoops,
but your serve is soft. I see you've studied
the ancient art of failure! Redeem my coupon! Think fast- rainbow sprinkles! You have played with skill
and courage. I will honor your coupon. [giggling, clapping] One free ice cream cone! Hello, Patrick. What's up? I was gonna give you
this ice cream, but it melted. Instead I got you
this hearty hand shake. Ah, I love hearty hand shakes, but not as much
as I love ice cream. Care to join me? Whoo hoo!
