ER: Funniest Moments (Part 1)

[Music] i feel like okay i love the first big snowstorm did jen get out okay she left yesterday i thought she had to wednesday she went early early sorry sorry don't want to talk about it and why'd you bring it up towel clip towel clip why are we doing this because sticking his hand in a bucket of warm water will be juvenile he's kind of cute really yeah he's got beautiful eyes take care it's a low blow what's going on nothing nothing uh we're just taking inventory gurney number a7403 you can go back to sleep okay okay all right come on okay one [Music] very funny would steal our crash cards they steal everything are you sure they're up here they were two hours ago okay okay connie and bob you stay with the cards you guys come with me uh [Music] i think we're in the ladies room uh come on let's go dunphy's there what do we do sherry dunphy not a problem doug hi have you been good you look great you lost some weight i got married last year remember believe me i'm still in the morning mm-hmm what are you doing up here is the cath lab still up here somewhere yeah it's right where it's always been you give me a hand really just quickly nope i can't you know i'm out of patient six-year-old tetralogy of fellow yeah oh okay all right he's unbelievable and you wonder why i slept with him on the first date really first date i'm kidding yeah he rang the doorbell next thing i knew we were on the kitchen floor kitchen floor geez i got to start dating again oh well this was for dev but thanks i guess well i gotta get back to the hospital i gotta check out miss kevin now so merry christmas merry christmas huh the residents helped you achieve competency with procedures yes he did that's a 4. the resident made himself available to answer questions no two i'd go for one one really seems kind of harsh we're talking about benton here mwah one the resident provided you with constructive comments and criticism of your performance constructive do they have negative numbers there's a zero zero this that's it what's the total 16. out of a possible 40. maybe i had to go a little easier on him huh he had to turn in his evaluation of you less 16 again where's dr hicks's box carter i got a drunk in five whatever happened to the practice of pediatrics around here carter i turned in my course evaluation this morning it is in dr hicks's box yeah yeah fine look uh wilkins decided to take the orthopedic supply so the surgical sub is left open left us hanging you want it or not in the er yeah look i'm in a hurry yes or no i got it it's carter yeah yeah i want it i want it definitely okay september 5 5am don't be late okay thank you [Music] get dry for me free champagne you can count on rolando what what happened to all the stuff that was in dr hicks's box my course evaluation that i turned in this morning is gone she cleaned out her box a couple of minutes ago i stopped raining hours ago have fun you know we will girl is there anybody who isn't going to this wedding just us the sick the lame the uninvited oh i'm a dead man yes dr hicks hi i'm john carter i'm dr benjamin student come on in i turned in my course evaluation for my trauma rotation this morning and i was wondering if i might get it back to make some revisions yes i've read it 16. sounds like you had a disappointing experience uh yeah would you like to hear what he said about you sure [Applause] ah carter john truman an exceptional student well-trained superior diagnostic skills fast learner dedicated selfless excellent bedside manner with patients far more successful at dealing with a patient's emotional needs than this instructor highly intelligent you want to hear it more one of the finest students i've ever had the opportunity to work with recommend high honors he gave me high honors i was upset because he didn't give me the surgery so bye did he tell you wilkins had dropped out and you had the surgical survive so you came up here to get this back this is what you really thought of dr benton's supervision no no no i mean he was hard on me and demanding but i learned a lot why don't you take another crack at this evaluation yeah and carter i don't want it back at a 40. be honest fair right uh 38 okay yeah something like that how long do you think they'll take doing ed's x-rays uh just depends on how backed up they are whoa how much is this 275 bucks here put this up to your shoulder feel the potential last year we sold those to everybody you ever hear a colonel drat he is doing some fun work with weapons training patriots down in texas like that guy from waco what's the range on it that'll chug a grenade into an area target at 350 meters bye i'll give you a break but with it hurting all we sure won't make the gun show jerry it's disarmed the feds have us hamstrung it's illegal to sell usable ordnance but if you take that home there's a kit for 70 bucks my neighbor has this dog that barks all night every night woof damn i guess ed used a kid on that one what is that a tail careful it's attached pure hot hair that's mine too check his chest i need you to take your hood off sir no i need to check your eyes and ears use the little flaps all right you have any pain here sir no sign this tank how about in here oh okay no hemo tipping them pulsox is 98 on room air pupils equal and reactive chest is clear no wrong car knees up oh my god am i paralyzed no you probably bruised your butt we'll take some x-rays to make sure take your outfit off sir the zippers screw up the x-ray can i keep my hood sure what's going on in here titrate ten of morphine ouch careful is that a tail if you're a horse here it's attached is your hand alright but so fell on me that's dislocated i should get an x-ray of this before i try and reduce it i'm not leaving he's got two thousand dollars most of my stuff i can do it here but it's gonna hurt like hell and you probably have to wear a splint for about six weeks can i win over my glove you could always file for workman's comp it's a job-related injury sure it'll fit over your glove don't do it it's really gonna hurt all right here we go one two three all yours what about my hood you can go with them we'll get an x-ray of that finger make sure there's no fracture malik hand series show's over people go back to work so what was the tale of cash too believe me you don't want to know you should have sold tickets hey what's this i think it's hers the mistress of pain but after all that bitching about her stuff she left her bag here what does she have in this thing i don't want to know i do come on i'll take it let's just take a little look no just take a peek no not particularly you guys are boring hey you need me anymore dr carter whoa oh my god nobody could ever actually use that could they what is that is that a yeah i think so what come on guys this is a patient's personal property oh god no kidding what's this what's this [Music] that is foreign disgusting uh what is that big purple thing oh in nature oh this is scary oh carter huh come on try it okay no i promise i won't sign the straps what do you think should i quit my day job don't [ __ ] do you have any idea what kind of financial liability you could have opened this hospital up to what if i'd been a patient who just happened to walk in carrie we were just blown off a little steep yeah we'll do it on your own time and with a medical student in the room what what were you thinking were you thinking at all who does this belong to did someone bring this this thing into the workplace i think that we're all aware that our behavior was inappropriate inappropriate unprofessional offensive who does this belong to huh patient patient we treated her for a dislocated finger but uh she left her back so you decided it would be fun to pilfer through a patient's belongings dr kovach your senior attending do you have anything to say for yourself dr lewis abby wow we're all sorry damn right you're sorry contact human resources i'll try to get them not to convene a hearing which i might have this department can ill afford right now but i'm putting you all on notice i will not tolerate another episode of inappropriate behavior from anyone is that clear is that clear absolutely still feeling okay how much longer am i gonna have to wait just a couple more minutes we are very busy today but you're feeling all right otherwise this is zambano [Music] this is zambano mr zambano oh mr zambano hey [Music] hey [Music] yes sir you're going to be just fine give me some room huh here you go stay here trying to get in the way can't you cut them open and pull out the coke we got to stabilize them first these have a multifocal pvcs yeah okay lighter king 150 iv push these [Applause] what was panels set on 200 oh he should be okay thank you why don't you check on him okay all right clear clear oh that's not good let's go again 300 no no normal sinuses take them upstairs notify the or let them know they got a laparotomy we gotta get these condoms out of them don't worry honey he just bumped his head well well look who's back oh my head you took quite a fog harder but don't worry deb's been taking care of you she worked you up real good blood pressure 90 over 60 respiration works negative stool quack negative you give me a rectal well hallie thought it would be good practice good practice good practice settle down carter she has to learn doesn't she oh deb another thing the proper term isn't average male genitalia it's normal male genitalia that's why does it say that oh you guys just kidding so you didn't you didn't told you would get him hey where's my uh kickboxer dr weaver moved her into exam two when that ruled out in my came in lucy was still working on her about 10 minutes ago suturing yep well that should have taken like two minutes i haven't seen her come on one great two my heart's really pumping i'm getting it five six seven eight and [Music] man dr carter are you okay don't move don't move chuni uh backboard and a hard collar oh i don't see any other blood nice kick damn what happened man i kicked him in the chest why i was practicing my tai bow and we're going to roll him back under there mm-hmm one wait okay right back on my count one two three so it's good huh oh it's terrific i'm definitely going maybe i'll come with you i don't see a broken rib maybe a hairline fracture ah i feel like an elephant sat on my chest well just stay seated okay don't get up how did you get that cut on your forehead i think i hit it with a chart you've taken martial arts before well karate when i was like seven ouch oh come on it can't hurt that bad it's tiny it doesn't even need a stop ouch baby there bye much [Music] i'm a doctor you're a student [Music] so i shouldn't be doing this [Music] um yeah this isn't right we can't be doing this well because there are rules what you mean you think we could get in trouble not we me like the card are you in there you um you lock that door yeah absolutely both of them dr carter you okay just a second you just locked the door in her face she knows somebody's in here how you feeling much better thank you lucy oh he didn't need any stitches that's good i'm going back to work you're inside out your sweater you've got it on inside out [Music] simon's got the gun shot we're doing the appy the appy disappointed yeah yeah they're kind of boring you haven't seen the patient yet oh there is a god you have the rule retractor yes peter and the army navies and the coker okay listen listen make sure you put an x on my right side because i don't want you taking out my left kidney okay i'm putting you to sleep now where's dr hicks oh there's been a last minute substitution don't worry dr bentley i'm going to take very good care of you surely yes sir to put on my special music please certainly dr carter served scalpel how old are dr carter shirley [Music] come here let's get this one let's get one with dr hicks and dr doyle [Music] what's your approach i'm going to make a minimal rocky davis incision in the right lower quadrant and mcbarney's point [Music] proceed [Music] just a bit i am ready to close nice work carter thanks maybe i'll staple my name into his belly all right let's irrigate one more time you don't want to give doctor benton an abscess take dr doyle you want to suction out dr benton naval pds on the ct3 i will close out with a running stitch you ever done one-handed tie no i often practice on pigs feet but since dr benton is available hold the suture in your left hand and don't let go you take it between your thumb and your forefinger right around and through pretty nifty oh yeah would be alright i've talked to doyle try one i don't think dr benton would mind after all we are a teaching hospital peter peter i'm pregnant i'm pregnant no dr benton i'm pregnant dr ben dr benton dr benton there we go the surgery was a complete success you had an acute super div appendicitis with no complications here's your appendix what don't try and talk you're just coming out of the anesthesia i really screwed up i really did i never gave the kid a chance carla i'm so sorry i don't know i don't know what to do it's me carter what's going on you're in the recovery room i just got your appendix you want me to call carla what you were asking better what else did i say oh that you screwed up that you regret treating me so badly that if you could change things if you could do it harder harder [Music] hematoma drain it do you think he's even lost his grip on reality no i think he's having fun actual bleeding play do you think we can do a problem in the waiting room just kidding take her back spin it cris dippy urine do an icon sudden onset blindness woke up this morning couldn't see a thing carter differential includes retinal detachment central retinal artery occlusion cva diabetic retinopathy retinitis mango degeneration she's too calm i think it's psychogenic lydia try and find that optokinetic drum if the eyes move and the drums spin she's faking [Music] he's right psychogenic lois i'm gonna give you some eye drops i think they're gonna help you with your vision okay so just lean your head back always give the patient a way out one more oh do it oh wow yeah yeah i can see everything it's still a little blurry though yeah well by the time you get home everything should be fine mark this is lipschool's 83 flushed headachy oh and nauseous i'm sorry that's all right they're doug shoes uh you pretend accompanying i am chloe he he janet susan lewis it's uh oh ah um it's 4 30. my my sister's here membrane's ruptured contractions are 90 seconds apart right get her up to ob okay i have okay okay i'll i'll see you in 20. coburn's on her way susan lewis or her sister marquez somebody shoot me just please shoot chloe hang in there just a little bit longer okay no kitty this baby's crowning oh my god cobra's never gonna make it who else is on melvin but she's gonna crash this section in four ah okay let's shift her up all right come on you can remember your breathing come on susie susie susie i i i can't do this you can yes you can close breathe through the plane blow it through the paper it's a bad idea i can't do this really chloe on the next one you're gonna push you hear me i mean i made my music carter the cassette player the tapes are in my bag you're going great i just hang out okay okay chloe you're gonna push now one two [Music] come on chloe's doing greyhound come on where's my date where's the blackbird i need blackberry part of the white album okay chloe you're doing a great job you really are good job okay another contraction push one two three four this is it carter forget it oh hey carter bend over there we go oh i'm cooking now all right hold still oh good one carter what is he doing i lost a bet use my backboard no mark i'm on a roll here there we go and the shot oh you ruined my concentration dr ross yeah baby and four seven inches taller i would have been a contender bulls nyx did you live with that heart no blue team surgical interns good morning my name is dr melvoin and today is the last day of my internship and the first day of yours which means in this great game of medical education tag you're it house staff guidelines this lists the conferences and clinics that all interns are required to attend miss one and your evaluation will be degraded vascular conference monday 4-5 pathology monday 5-7 radiology tuesday at 5 m m's wednesday 7 a.m intern reports monday thursday friday at 7 a.m vascular journal club tuesday at 7 chairman's conference friday 7 a.m wait doesn't the chairman conference conflict with the intern report yep you're on five days a week 5 a.m until you finish up after 7 p.m you're on call every third weekend and every third night which means that every three days you will be here from 5am the first day till at least 7pm the next when do we get to sleep you don't you are wedges the wedge is the most primitive tool known to man that is you you think you know what you're doing believe me you don't breakfast with your senior surgical resident dr benton will begin in 15 minutes dr benton is an intern's worst nightmare he's smarter than you he never eats he never sleeps and he reads every medical journal no matter how obscure he is the antichrist bielsa bub lucifer a devourer of wedges you will go to sleep at night wishing plague and pestilence on his unborn children and you will wake up every morning praying for his approval you won't forget it welcome to hell ladies and gentlemen benton can't be that bad kenny dixon charcoal's trying um hypercoagulability stasis pain fever jaundice get the ducks of lushka um aberrant ducks the drained bile but do not communicate with the gallbladder aluminum an intern who wasn't asleep during med school thank you edson this morning's patient is jaundice but no cholingitis now should we perform the surgery open or laparoscopically open there may be multiple stones i'm going in leprosy did you get any rcp hmm okay edson are you scrubbing don't you want to ask me something dixon noon you guys come with a ward get your runner up take the sick you the surgical i see you don't worry the nurses won't let you kill anybody any questions don't commitment oh carter help with the wars and cover the er the er lastly we need to discuss the on-call rotation for the night shift i have been i was kind of hoping good carter thank you for volunteering you can take the first shift starting tonight i'll set up the other schedules and post them in the on-call room okay tonight the surgical ward four minutes [Music] do [Music] you

Channel: ER - Emergency Room

Views: 83,897

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Id: jeJbok5yNO4

Length: 35min 12sec (2112 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 26 2020