Ep #15: BRENDAN SCHAUB | Good For You Podcast with Whitney Cummings

but buff up cash up up up number one finance app in the App Store this show is brought you with a cache who's that me it's my other boy shows broad with the cash app it's the number one finance and having a [ __ ] [Laughter] especially when you your friends o you money or when you want dem [ __ ] money how you use the cash asking Benton I said why is it whenever I say I had some beauty products that support getting me for free but I don't worth it no more so I sold them to my friend money how do you decide what to charge them for beauty products I let them pick I'm not crazy I'm just I mean hey what do you want these for cuz they're gonna buy them anyways that's a little service but you're the one that told me that and I send a lot of stuff for free so don't get me twisted Cosmetics expired yes you're selling moldy ass Wow alright Chad pick it up get back in that voice cash app is also the easy way to try and grow your money in the stock market with the investing features with the cash app you can instantly ambassador in stock for as little as one dollar bra does bro its bro have a steroid problem did you know that services are provided but cash app investing a subsidiary square and remember it's a PC well now you do the cash yet and use the promo code Whitney not only will you instantly receive $10 but the cash app will donate $10 to Trevor price are you a fan of the term yeah I love the gays long as you know I'm a top amazing organization that provides protective services to LGBTQ q plus plus youth across America don't forget the promo code Whitney when you down the cash app from the App Store today [Music] do you wear headphones or no it's always weird right it doesn't make sense when there's two people it's you and me well why don't you wear headphones doesn't have a conversation I don't feel like I'm flying a plane if there's more than one person like if there's more than I'm sorry if there's more than two they need headphones so you don't talk over each other oh that's why it's four yeah I thought it was just look cute I'm if you are wearing if you want a raccoon no I mean I know we can you know what my problem see where's my look I don't know I just learned that my microphones not near me how would I found that it still works though I know but you guys are doing it big here you learn from people's mistakes than here you are that's why I came in late to the pot game waited for you guys to work out the kinks and your crush and then I came in hot and look at this yeah um you have to wear them why don't you wear them on your show yeah all your shows um it was just like kingless things basically with diovan is basically like a digital TV show so we don't need headphones okay and then me and Kalyn it's just I don't know we've been doing so long we interrupt each other that's what we do we never lay each other finish it is [Laughter] how do we you and I know you were never on dating ABS no never never ever they weren't cool when there's some cool oh they're not well no they are they're cool now no actually Bumble hinge people love and hinges one now be a part of anything called a hinge and then I think Grindr might have take a hit after someone filleted up man no oh you talking about I know you talk about that documentary don't [ __ ] with cats I think they met on Grindr um mm yeah maybe I didn't watch that because I can't you know me I'm too sensitive for that [ __ ] I didn't know a guy on Grindr went on a date with a guy in the guy hung him upside down and filleted him that's what the news use the word fillet in Italy and it ruined the grinder I mean you'd I don't think they took a hit but it definitely is what comes up first when you google it what means you don't worry about saying stuff on your podcast that's one of my questions for you hmm because sometimes get the straw that straw touch and go for a minute you know what's funny as you say that it's so do you ever get in trouble for like clowning on brands has anyone ever come after you guys no one's ever and can you bring it up again since I reopen the case rehab I was - if you people can clip stuff out and make up whatever they write remember I was talking about this show on that I get some [ __ ] for this new show on Fox on how I was saying are they the best for the job is that the best panel and happy three black guys but before I was talking about how the best commentator in the game is an african-american mm-hmm so they skipped all that just cut out that right was like what just in like comments and stuff oh yeah you don't read your Co like I should fear for about two minutes I used to when I was younger I did now I don't and did it did you start reading it more once you started doing stand-up no no way you read it before I would read it before I read during the podcast but then it's just hot like it's a toxic world but I also think that like in sports especially in comedy like people just talk [ __ ] that's the other thing is that I feel like a lot of people I've been this bad comic dude people are just talking [ __ ] any time I respond to someone's negative comment they're like oh my god I'm so sorry oh hell you didn't think you were gonna read this I think it's gotten maybe a little worse because again with King in this thing with Theo and I basically just roasting each other and roasting the Oh whatever people submit videos we're just roasting non-stop so then like I'll walk in a show and like this mom like I'm your biggest fan you look like [ __ ] but I'd be cool I actually defend people that are fans that talk [ __ ] because I think we teach them that that is how they can talk to us like I did the roast for so long and I have to take responsibility for the fact that I did that people think I'm way tougher than I am they think I love getting made fun of because i sat there on TV and laugh when people were like witty if she opens her mouth comes gonna come out or whatever it I would like laughs they would say if it's witty it's good but when that's you know when it's like you can tell you can tell the difference waiting like finally all right but they think it's witty it's not witty - yeah and I'm like come on man I'm so much I'm gonna be like hey Khan it was like Jesus but I get why you think you can talk to me like that yeah yeah it doesn't used to bother me now no it doesn't mean how did what I don't learn real friends I don't think people know that legit friends you're my best best legit girlfriend maybe yeah that's true I mean brighten up for you you have like a million friends you don't remember how we met I do I just hit me we met through Bryan Callen mm-hmm I remember I just got to LA and Bryan was like oh you got to meet my friend Whitney blah blah blah he's like she's great she's funny and then I think me and Bryan were at a dinner or we're doing some group dinner and then you came there and then you and I met and talked there incorrect oh really I'm off see T's a [ __ ] yeah oh that [ __ ] never happened so no uh Brian asked me to call into the fighter and the kid oh but that's on phone I know that was that wasn't phone but I grossly misjudged because I think I started making fun about the year who remained him yes remember that and it wasn't I just that was it was also at a time in my life when it was just like everything was like barb barb barb barb and I remember after I remember you getting kind of like silently who the [ __ ] is this then when we first met you were like I thought you were like so mean yeah yeah did it feel like that's not for something mad that's all we're like on the fly think I'm right cuz then you then you get my podcast so I'm right you came to that dinner was the dinner it was in Venice yep there were a lot of like weird Venice dinners yeah but that was it cuz I remember yeah you called in for the art podcast yeah didn't it sound like you're in a helicopter I kept making fun probably yeah that's right and then yeah and then like weeks later we should find that and listen to it I don't know where those there's no way we'd be a you don't have them online I don't know where they're like me and Brian on whatever I'm like episode 600 yeah we have like four to five hundred somewhere else Wow I don't know where they're at and then what was your impression of me when we first talked on the phone are you saying it don't turn that interview yeah oh my gosh is that your main I thought you'd like I mean that's the only way I knew how to relate to new people is like making fun of them or like I don't know and also you were so funny and I was a go [ __ ] like this guy's like not quick and I think it annoyed me yeah and I wanted to I want to like dominate I don't know what it was like I know but I think that also for so long as a and I don't play the like female comic card that I think is a female comic you also have to like let people know like we're friends yeah real fast you know especially people that are funny it's a way of just going like this isn't flirting setting the it it's like making yourself neutering yourself yeah or something yeah you know so just be as annoying as possible so this person would never have any attraction yes exactly I think that don't you think though that like I mean do you ever do that when you're like meeting women you have to just be like we're friends and you have to like do something to kind of just like make that super clear no I'm nice too I treat everybody the exact same so I think you can get me in trouble but I don't I don't know how to do it any other way like I've never mean because I'm always worried someone's kind of preconceived notions I mean like that's that way it's me like the way I look like either a dumb you just mean yeah you know some boys I go over the top the people think you're gonna be mean oh yeah my tattoos my ears I think I thought that about you a little bit too I think I was maybe intimidated by you and I felt the need to kind of like yeah so I'm Bo yeah so I try to break that wall right away I also I'm like the nicest person I feel like you don't think so I think you're really nice but I think that when when you want your you have such an acumen for being able to call out [ __ ] and tell the truth that I would not want I would not want to hear what you had to say to about me when I was not around cuz I think you'd be right interesting but even especially when we first met even when you weren't around I was not nasty about it yeah I have no reason I knew you and your apart anyway oh that's so true not using you for your money don't like you for that yeah yeah you and your just ball and we did we didn't date I think everyone thinks we like day to day today didn't date date we'd like I say we hung out hung out we hung out we hung out like one seven is all what we would go to Chipotle just to pull it and you're like I remember getting your house you had all these drinks like you know the drinks you get her one we're like each is like $30 and I was like is that rose water you like it sure is like holy [ __ ] I remember looking at like gonna like I found treasure I was like and every time come on I can have a drink like you don't have to keep asking oh you can have someone like restock them all it sounds like wow and don't remember I remember I used to I was trying to be healthy and I thought that like juice was healthy it's before I really knew how juice on juice light that's argue that but I think that it was it was a weird time because I think things are confusing when you meet someone that's probably meant to be a platonic friend and you're like don't you just have to get that like hanging out stuff like out of the way so you can then become friends yeah I think I think well also when you and I met I was like in the thick of fighting to and life was moving so fast for me and it was like I met you as being this person I met this person and I'm like going through you know so it's like we met at a weird time we met it Avira member and I just got it I don't mean it but I was like I was literally I was like a blind guy trying to figure out the wall like I just got to LA yeah Ryan's my budding all this stimulus and I mean D'Elia and Will Sasso I'm hang out with them every weekend and then I'm still fighting out big fights coming up but it's like I'm not into it I want to I want to be like you guys and yeah I'm like torn then I meet you and you're super nice I mean and I we say this when I give the opportunity to I was good the person the first person ever to believe me do stand-up with you from the very jump if you remember it's true because I remember I was doing a speech at Ohio State for the national championship game and I asked you because you did one for that pen I think oh yeah I spoke at their graduation yeah it was like now I need some tips and then yeah I remember you helped me on that and oh yeah and you're like I remember we were driving somewhere like you know you're me doing this like whenever you decide or you're me doing this should be performed front of crowds as a cap she's crazy too or from Chipotle that's right and I I just look I'm I don't want to give anyone any more credit than they deserve I just remember you being so quick in your brain being so quick and you always having such a funny devil's advocate observation that's what comedy is often taken devil's advocate and I remember you truly making me laugh like nothing makes comics laugh anymore and I just was like oh he's gonna be a comic like what is all this why are you icing your knee what is all this [ __ ] like I just remember being like what's up what are you doing you look I'm at home icing my knee I can't go anywhere and I was like this is such a waste but it was whatever the your the very first one that I met who was like dude you could do this and then also I think when you said I was quick and stuff like that I remember I was so intimidated intimidated by you because you're so smart I was tell people how smart you are so I'm so into it so I thought well I'm not gonna outsmart her so I got it I gotta be on it man so I'd always try to make you always try to make you laugh always oh that's so funny cuz I was so intimidated or so smart I did not that's so it's so funny to deconstruct things and look back because I did not I never felt that I always felt I open mics worst driving to Chipotle that's so weird I never I could you seemed so impossible to intimidate and you always I feel like we used to laugh so hard about such a [Laughter] figure out like I also was a time where I never knew if I was there was like a vagueness around hanging out with people and I never wanted to because people would always go win you emasculate man you emasculate man which I don't think that's true I don't I don't think that's true I think you intimidate him yeah but I don't but not not by your doing I think you're tending but it's their own insecurities and I also was a top ten having UFC and I was intimidated and I'm saying I was like good that's so crazy to me I never felt that from you and never came off I always felt no but I wasn't like oh I don't want to hang out with her I was like oh this is dope I got to bring something to the table huh I don't feel like [ __ ] Steadman makes the whole fro I always but I never and I think because when I first met you I was like making jokes I was like don't do that just don't be funny and then I always was like oh I'm just being too boring just like overthinking it you know and no I remember one time we were I was like no I think we're just friends I remember going we're friends stop overthinking it you have lots of guy friends cuz I've so many guy friends somebody got to that I'm always just like oh this is just another what am I putting everybody thinks you're you they're your friend me yes everyone thinks they're Whitney's friend really I think so I think I have lots of guy friends and I've been very careful to not date comics because I don't piss where you eat it's been some like Darwinian survival instinct that's just come in you know yeah but also comics are [ __ ] crazy so there's that too but I haven't had a lot of comics hit on me people think that Callens the only guy that's ever tried to hook up with me when I was way younger you're 17 no I was like out of age I wasn't 26 he's the only person than ever like that tracks freakin that I was like I just heard laughing and he start laughing it was alright and now he's the best you know I kind of wish I had hooked up with Khaled actually I don't know why I didn't I think I'd a boyfriend or something oh it's very funny it just been so funny to talk about yeah maybe yeah I mean literally 25 26 then you just got pulls out as a Marine Priya I don't think has anyone that's hooked up with Callen ever come on your show and talked about it no no no cuz they haven't hooked up with like anyone we'd have on the show that's so interesting oh that's such a good point no but it was like so he was so funny and charming about it and I was always just like he's the best yeah the best I just think I would have been laughing too hard and she would have been like oh it's so creepy I'm glad you did dad here's another thing my Cal Cal is popping hot towns very hot he's very handsome and he's very funny that you don't realize it but I think Callen is legitimately hot no Callens unattractive like we joke about how I make fun of his looks all time but if you would just acknowledge and be like dude yeah imagine what you're gonna look like at 53 [ __ ] and then it's like game over he's also made you like a [ __ ] everyone in Hollywood like loves every female actress like has always had a crush on Callen like through the 90s the back of the 20s everyone's always thought he was hot yeah he's attractive dude I know it's not I said no no ya can't listen Kelly gets a lot of [ __ ] I'm so tempted he's good look at he just you know he's funny as he's ever been when counting us on stage ever I like go watch he's the best I know you have to see him in person so dumb he's so stupid job he's the best and since he's since he's I'm sure I can says he won't kiss since he got separated since divorce me and Roberto Saturday he's never been better his attitude his happiness he's never been late to a podcast yeah he's enjoyed and work he's a better dad yeah I'm sure he's a better co-parent it's just like you know yeah it's fantastic he's killing it so we were so I was like I could never figure I was like I could never figure out if we were dating or just friends were dating or just friends I don't think either of us knew and whatever is it crazy I've apologized for all this before though to me yes I've apologized to as a kid we met I was crazy yeah yeah we've definitely talked through it yeah we've definitely talked through it and finally shows I was a hot mess I didn't know what's going on and my thing is I just don't ever want to initiate anything because I don't want to come off to alpha because I've been told you emasculate men you need to make yourself smaller don't be intimidated you that I it's I don't believe it I'm the friends you're hanging out with at the time I think at the time guys I think guys tell me that they're like guys no guy worth no guy worth your time because five years ago yeah like comics which is like you're too intimidating you need to make yourself smaller so I didn't want to be the person was like are we dating are we not dating like I didn't want to be aggressive so I would kind of just like wait around and see and I was like we're not dating and we were like hey we went to Malibu for the day or something we're hanging out and we ran into someone I'm calm that I went to college with and I was like him and I aren't dating this is strictly platonic and I went hey I know that guy from college oh god I Mets we are hottest the hardest we've ever laughed by the way we hooked up and he came on my chest and licked it off at storage Toby it ruined my day I was like I just got quiet dry thing is all I can tell you that too much but too much though you know with a tear going a lot but too much didn't talk to me the entire day wouldn't even ruin the day too much too comfortable too comfortable not bros you completely misread the room not bro straight down the story it bombing and then you then it's just driving traffic PCH like this physically second and there's no music I can figure out the music to your g-wagen and you're like flustered I was laughing about it yesterday I remember when um [ __ ] I'm so glad though that you're doing stand-up and so rich now because I remember assuming all these cars aren't I mean assuming you're hitting paying your bills I don't yes I mean either I don't know kind of weird I'd make a wish situation over there I'm gonna be so funny if you're just like basically like somehow crowd you posted videos what exactly this was a Bernie Madoff [ __ ] like I don't know if any this is real this is might be like you might be in jail for the rest of your life but uh I remember coming your house and you were like drinking back in the day oil out of a bottle like visual ruff-ruff just roll out of a bottle guys do as drinking green juice in the morning and then you would like eat protein powder and then just like Alexis wagging fish oil obviously Jesus brutal Jesus Christ Rothko I thought comedy was rough as a rough go this is wild just like ice oil you're put in your coffee what the [ __ ] is this yeah as at that one-bedroom up with studio in Marina del Rey one but that's generous yeah no should be sneaking smell my brothers leave here and I sleep here and my protein powder takes up the entire kitchen so if I'm gonna grab the corner just like get in fetal position over here on this futon [ __ ] I am rich like and and then you just no one worked harder than you I work pretty hard but I think that you maybe worked harder than anyone as far as MMA goes so just in terms of in life in terms of your podcasts and in terms of your being a comedian yeah yeah maybe I don't know yeah everyone would say you know I don't want that I think that's a good point I think everyone all but first pretty hearts after Bryan Callen I think just kidding I'm missing like I've just like the work ethic that you have is just it's just as impressive to me I'll take it you know yeah but I yeah especially in common I feel like I have to do it cuz I'm so behind the eight-ball cuz I get started late so I feel like something yes and no because I think stage presence is so much of it and you already had that because you were performer anyway yeah confidence is such so much of the beginning of becoming a comedian is just being comfortable on stage and being confident and being able to have presence and patience and being okay with silence so that's a big part of it yeah which you can get from somewhere else and then I also think that like you know having something to say is another big part of being a good comedian Rodney yeah he started at 60 and if he had started 20 who knows if he would have had the same trajectory because by the time he started he actually had a point of view yeah that's um commenting is a good especially the podcast and I do with Bryan Callen Theo it's like you know I'm in the gym going back and forth with these monsters so I think that helped but I also think you know when you hear coms go I started at 17 what point of view did you have any seven it's well they're just learning stage presence yeah would you learn somewhere else yeah and I think a lot of times when you start too young you get stuck in your thing yeah then if you just started at 3035 you would be a different person and maybe you should just start that yeah I'm not like I don't I'm not a purist in that like you have to have started state it's there's get to it I used to be self-conscious of it but that went away you know that went away I'm not I'm not so self-conscious now I can I come up to the store the Laugh Factory yeah my god oh I stopped thinking about yeah and then what is the thing that surprised you the most about doing stand-up you didn't expect I would say how nice everybody is yeah like I remember when I first started like I was you know so my favorite comedians they were really dark so like you know I get darker hmm and I remember challenging being going what are you doing yeah that guy oh you're the funny loving silly guy be silly man yeah you think you're not that guy yeah and I just remember like everyone's be so mean to me and think I don't belong here yeah and it was so nice to me yeah everyone that's such a solace I had this thing do you find though that now that you do stand-up you enjoy watching stand-up less other people oh that's a good question because that's a great question that's kind of my theory about why commune with people like why are all comedians miserable because the thing that gives people the most joy watching stand-up we lose that we don't get to be audience members of comedy anymore because that's our job so the things that used to bring us joy and escape movies television comedy stand-up we don't get to watch that anymore without being like [ __ ] I should have thought of that or a [ __ ] that's not such a good joke or God I have a joke like that I change me I don't watch it as much and then I'll so I don't want to see something then in a plant a seed I had where I'm like oh dude you're that person already does that I don't want for that reason then also but but also like at the store like I get a lot of inspiration from like even in podcasts like Chris D'Elia came on and was like literally the funniest hour I've ever ever signed on find the kid what do I guess the year it was it was literally he left I was like ah because I was like so inspired yeah he's the funniest person I know yeah he's the funniest most talented person I know it was so good yeah and I get inspired from that or if I like you do new bits now my watch yeah because I like what because I think if you just go to the store and see the guys who like they're getting ready to tape a special or you see their special like that's the final product that you've seen you know if you're an NFL game you see that on Sunday you don't see all the practice them dropping balls and throw an interception if you come during the week so I like seeing you know that Chris is doing bad but he's not you know it's not for you on fire inspired you see him working out yeah oh that's how I would say yes because I take two sometimes yeah oh he's doing the same thing you know for how long yeah so I get inspiration from that I'm never stopping your open my career as a comic yeah and then there's all sorts of inspirational things like I remember a few months ago at the at the Laugh Factory like the room just wasn't good everyone's eating [ __ ] yeah and we everyone's talking [ __ ] about the crowd and it's like I don't know who's gonna go on you know we're gonna do and everyone's kind of down and Bill burr walks in on an ounce and he goes in who's next you don't want to bump anyone I think I was next he's like is it cool if I gone like do your thing bill and he gets up there murder Oh murder Oh murder oh man I was like best I love it when bill is killing so hard that he'll actually start bombing on purpose just to get back to having to fight his way out of a hole anything to watch I think it gives everybody a reality check yeah oh no no we're not all the same yes Neal Allison yes we're all at the Laugh Factory that's bill Berman yeah show some respect yeah like it's just like you see that like holy [ __ ] but he's somebody that would never coast like he never wants to plateau so sometimes he'll just say something that's [ __ ] insane just to lose the audience like I remember one time I think was at the Comedy Store he said something he was killing so hard and he said something like I did the Holocaust really happen or something horrific so that the audience who wants to react and then he wants to earn them back yeah I saw him do that that set he had laughing he said something and a whole room went oh yeah he goes why is that offensive he does that and the ladies like what he's like why do you have an issue and then she starts going and he's just ripping apart but enough such a smart funny way or like that's how he stays so strong is that because a lot of times comedians if you're if people are just laughing because they know it's you you're not getting an honest gauge on the material correct remember one time Chris Rock was in the Oh our and he goes and of course is killed he has new stuff he's killing and he's just wet it's not that funny there's no way that joke deserved that like please stop laughing that's why Steve Martin stopped doing stand-up he said he was you know he went when he's doing you know I'm a wild crazy guy like sellout huge arenas he said he was already thinking about stopping cuz it was just the attention he was getting was so insane you know how to deal with it and he's going to a show and they have certain props in a show and the prop messed up anyone started laughing he's a it's not no no and they have to take time to get down but the crowds dying and he's like oh [ __ ] it's over it's over man you think it's over I think I can do anything impression music I'm out you know you know I remember when you took me like Garry Shandling my brother was with us know we went to it was Kevin Kevin Murphy say yes and I think with script you and Garry Shandling came and spoke this was shortly before he passed away and I tell you what's crazy about that I think about that too is I got on this Garry Shandling kick I like read all his books watch his documented traps how brilliant it was his journal entries break my door Oh have you been reading them I just watched it in the Apatow documentary yeah that if you but I'll give you the book I had finished with but they have like his real journals in there huh I'm on a plane I know I'm on a plane to the end and his last journal entry imma try not to cry and his last journal entry is to his brother who passed away I'm on Spirit Airlines so life is already bad you're about to pass I was gonna try anyway but this kid I was place very cool guys no but I'm on then and it's his last journal entry to his brother his note to his brother oh I remember crying on this plane it's like I mean I get my place and I cool to cry man if you [ __ ] read this well it's not cool to cry I like when guys cry it's sexy I don't care my literally I cry all the time I could Kobe Bryant yeah I'm thought I cried fried two days Wow I met cry if I came here yeah no it's Crichton always I was crying in the hallway telling about a story yeah of a reporter's story about Kobe's yeah I'm a super sense person I think I mean more I've always been super sensitive I mean more sense because I have kids now did you always know that about yourself that you're sensitive oh is Yaya mmm-hmm always always what has any joke hurt your feelings on any of your podcast have you ever just been they go that was that hurt me um sometimes Theo say some stuff from a site dark I love that line of road you're right over it yeah I don't I'm just like no but I'm just think I love that I'm fascinated by when something goes too far and why yeah I think it's like yeah and you know feels so smart and brilliant and it's just like I you know I don't I couldn't tell you but he's done every show but the thing is this uh it you know I think it was just I was good you know it might Bend when Kobe passed away and I remember waking up that morning like I don't I had to do three shows I've stand up that night like I don't want to be funny today I don't feel like doing this yeah and then with feeling it it takes the most work out of anything I do because I can't just go in there and coast it's like I can be so on or you know I'm playing what I want to gets LeBron J yeah so it's I I gotta be so honest going do you hear how these clinking fallen Charlotte's phone going off all the fun I thought it was you know I'm a professional I've never had much Jesus what is the animal that mine is that it's just my inner monologue cuter ha it's my computer silences off sandwiches off let me ask you a question for people that don't totally understand the Kobe thing I was trying to think yesterday of who would be a quantum Asst in the NFL would it be Tom Brady like just this level of legend yeah Tom passing away correct Tom Brady Brady with his kid on the plane right mm-hmm it's so heavy I'm gonna ask you some questions because I love asking guys for relationship advice for you not for me uncle maybe well why not at some point I'm gonna have to take some Balak um all right quiet sit we're at The Comedy Store in some dude was sitting on you like what are you doing no one will talk to me of like Rogan and you are uneven side of me no guy will ever flirt with me no but I think that a lot of women get advice from their girlfriends and some girlfriends give good advice a lot don't because the word about hurting feelings I'm big on asking guys about advice about guys and I think that guys if you want to ask advice about your girl or your wife ask women yes your guy friends for advice about women and don't ask your girl friends for advice about men but also don't ask your girl friend for advice when she's been relationship for 10 years she's not in the game or didn't [ __ ] it or not in one at all yes yeah so how long until it's appropriate to put the person you're dating on social media and what does it mean when a guy doesn't put you on a social media are we talking some normal person talking celebrity Oh see that is like in your world that's a tricky one I would say not all wrong I think most people listening are not probably famous okay I thought you just had all like Hollywood listeners to put on I I don't think it's that big of a deal I don't think it's that big a deal can always archive that [ __ ] yes whatever yeah it's not that but don't don't make a big deal does that mean your boyfriend/girlfriend yes okay it means it's at least the essence phone keeps riving me insane there has to be like a hidden behind you don't you have like four phone I don't know what it is maybe it's my IUD activating my biological clock shipstation shipstation when you're selling online getting your orders out can be real pain how you gonna keep track of what gets what well shipping carriers should you use are you getting the best rates well that's why you need ship station comments the fastest easiest most affordable way to manage and ship your orders I swear are just a few clicks you'll be managing and your orders and putting out labels and getting your products out as fast and keeping your customers real hat sorry ship station makes it real for a keynesian that's what I know yeah because you save money on shipping cost number you if you're on Amazon Etsy your own website brings all the orders to one simple interface ship station versus all the major carriers UPS FedEx UPS again USPS Amazon Fulfillment number one ship stations number one choice for online sailors nothing we don't mess with number two hey I know right now good for you listeners can try station free to people with speech impediments trying to say ship station free for 60 days when you use the offer code Whitney there's no risk you can start your own free trial without even entering your credit card info please a miracle ship station calm click on the microphone at the top of the homepage type in Whitney ship station dot-com enter the code quit net ship station comm make ship happen you know Benjen that did you have life insurance yes you know you don't I I did but I was at Sephora and they rolled over right oh no for sure you don't know then surprise everyone which is a shame because I'm gonna kill you the year 2020 shows up a lot in science 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[Music] not that big of a deal not that big people are make it too big enough social media it's whatever I think for most it's a good style it's a good sign okay so it's not everything right people to put too much value on social media I think for a lot I think that's an old thing to say I think that a right for someone who's 20 it's their whole world all right let me say this put them in your story don't put them on your wall [Music] Wow even your grid the walls the castle walls oh they call IG walls your Facebook wall no the IG wall that's your main the tragic go ahead I don't call I refuse call it the great red great and then I want Mad Max the great nope not happen Trump not called the wall okay so if you're with a guy this is people I said people send in a bunch of questioned people submit questions are people I just did it for you because I want to do some oh well relationship if I something you're really good at advice okay I think you're well thank you very clear honest feedback oh well okay so if you're if I'm dating a guy and he doesn't put me on his Instagram after three months what does that mean it's probably something else is going on it's not he's probably dating a few hmm and if it doesn't mean doesn't care about you by seeing a few people what is what is that what do you mean so if a guy's dating a few girls what does that mean I mean he's trying to figure out which one he likes the best is that a I sometimes think it's a good thing if you're dating me and you're dating two other girls good you have something to compare me to you'll like me more I agree people are so like territorial I call that's mine but it's like if you guys are dating and he's doing his thing you're doing your thing it's good to feel it out you know I'm saying like it's not the end of the world yeah if he's seen someone else but awesome again to your point if you're confident in yourself it's like yeah compare me those others but there is a point where that's got to stop correct there's a point yes it three months up to here it's a guy no and it's just too much no he's a he's an [ __ ] let's just move on he's an [ __ ] hmm that's a tricky one but yeah and also depends on how old you are and how old he is correct right yeah big time do you have lots of platonic girlfriends no why not most people don't I know um I don't know I a I don't meet a lot of girls who are like yeah I don't mean a ton of girls who like I'm gonna sit down and get to know or have a conversation like I'll meet fans or I'll meet someone if I'm doing like a TV show or something like that but I don't I don't get a lot of time to do it's very hard to make female or male platonic relationships in your 30s when you're in something it's also hard like yeah correct correct okay it's also hard if it if it's like an attractive girl yeah you know it's like it's so hard yeah it's and I just love people I like keep so it's like yet stuff I can't put up that wall yeah I suck at putting up that wall yeah that's right it's a tricky one and I but I think platonic relationships are so important but it's so hard for us to have them like all my male comic friends like before the relationships are kind of in now when they'd start dating someone new I wouldn't hear from him for like eight months and then they break up and they'd be like what's up with tang yeah I think it's tough I think it's tough I also think it's tough you have to be comfortable cuz you're obviously a very pretty successful female so it's like if you do email what one oh a mail a lot one sinks it's because it's apple tonic female friend if you bring some you know if you're dating someone new you bring around Whitney Cummings that person has to have their [ __ ] like they have to have all their boxes checked another way that girl you know it's gonna be intimidating you have problems I guess you know exactly what do I guess what's your favorite mistake you've ever made Renan any good mistakes questions are fantastic any good mistakes sometimes mistakes are the best thing we do I don't feel I feel like you make so many mistakes I mean like a good example is if you hurt yourself fighting making a mistake and that's part of what got you out of it to be doing stand-up you know like just anything that was like at the time felt like devastating and then at the end was like oh thank god that happened like how can you have there's been so many yeah I've had so many from when I was playing football tuhhh yeah I think all the Harkey relationship all mistake but you learn something about yourself I think all the heartache I've had from sports like it's so heavy and it's like like in football like just my dreams are shattered and it's like finding light in that and like it made me who I am today and then the UFC just being like my heart being broken that college football my heart being broken like you just put these chips on my shoulder I get to the UFC and I felt like they were against me so I found all these chips on my shoulder so at the time they seem like mistakes but now I'm like y'all thank God they served their purpose like like looking back it's like oh you were in UFC the perfect amount of time to be able to talk about it yeah intelligently and have the experience and be able to be a got all these other things right would I crawl through some [ __ ] like Andy Dufresne man like it I should man some nights just be like oh my god like when my football dreams shattered I swear I was like so embarrassed but wasn't it good that they're shattered so that you now leave the rest of your life now be able to have a frontal lobe yeah and all that for sure ya know but the time you don't feel that way you know yeah yeah I need some tough times it's just it's just for me I'm obsessed with having hindsight right now and just being able to go you know what this feels like it's a bad thing but I know that I'm gonna look back in ten years ago thank God that didn't work out agree right agree hundred percent ya know it's like thank God I'm doing this now that relationship that I thought was like the end of the world if it didn't work out like thank God that didn't work out yeah but there's also some things where it's like like when you and I were hanging out like I wasn't in the position for anyone who I was dating like back in the day like I was in a position I like like be serious or date anybody so I feel like rich is perfect for me because I I love it unavailable person that I can just project it but yeah yeah cuz I feel like you know relationships especially as you get old you're in your 30s it's like just your you change what you think's attractive or what you need from so ya know yeah and I think that as you get older and you kind of like figure out how to get your own emotional needs met on your own which is the healthy way to do to not get internal needs met externally then you have to figure out what you need in a person you know exciting when you're in your 20s are trying to get all your emotional needs met from one person yeah and you don't know I don't know what you want in the site you know especially I was in the UFC it's just like yeah no [ __ ] you don't know ya have no idea and I think the last thing you needed back then was pressure and I think relationships probably felt a quantum is with pressure do you think yeah but I just was in a spot to like I thank God we stayed friends cuz you had your [ __ ] together name like I'm crazy no but you had your [ __ ] together from I mean I did block you but yeah you did I said it's t-mobile but I think you had your [ __ ] together in like you're so like like smart and like just like knowledgeable and like life like much more experienced than me which is what I needed but at the time I didn't know it's like so I'm trying to give you medicine like I don't want that me keep taking this it's like hey dum-dum take the [ __ ] medicine but I think it also it's so it's actually like our relationship is so valuable to me because I also learned a lot about myself in that you know I was chasing unavailable people and I didn't realize that that's what I was doing and I think it's it's part of serious growth that I needed because I thought I need to like constantly audition for approval or find people that I wasn't good enough for and like I was just in like a weird rut with that see that's not fair on for me to do to you especially the time cuz but you weren't doing anything you just were but yet but I was like like you could have been you know jaylen or 22 checked all the boxes and would have worked out that make sense yes no that had nothing to do with and I know it's not personal yes but I just went okay that my intimacy issue or whatever it was my fear of intimacy went oh this is the perfect person because he's always unavailable he's always training things completely out of my control that aren't personal I'm gonna go chase this person just to make myself feel inadequate or get some adrenaline hit or just justify actually being alone and sort of hoodwinking myself into thinking I'm actually dating somebody are you good at being alone now at your age I'm really good at me at my age okay well we're not yeah oh my bad is this news to everybody in the room I know it's young here I it's so funny because I think I spent so much time working on being able to be alone and I might have gone too far with it because I love me alone well I'm really good at it I like my inner monologue now I don't get scared that's such a superpower it's a superpower but I also think you need it in you know as a stand-up like you know I mean I used to do 80 cities a year I used to just be in hotel rooms alone all the time and I'm I was like facetiming with people in charge and I was like you know I worked really hard to be able to do it and you'd have to for me I much prefer being alone than being around the wrong person or with the wrong people that makes me feel way more lonely agree you know I haven't mastered that at all I suck at being alone really Oh terrible Tim but the people you don't surround yourself with trash people nope you don't prefer that to being alone no not at all but you also can't be alone you have a family like when I'm on the road or yeah just certain times or if they're gone like I don't do well being alone hmm what do you sense a superpower be allowed to control that I also am NOT believe it or not a lot of people might not I'm not an extroverted person I talk for a living but I get depleted by socializing so I need a lot of time to just get reset yeah I need so much time and time to get energy see that's why I like living where at giving your address I like living where we're at because I like that time I Drive in the studio I Drive to Hollywood that alone times the only time I'd like think and not serve other people yeah that's literally the only time yeah I have where I'm not helping somebody or do an entertainment I have to [ __ ] that drive and that's why I love doing it and I think I've become a better comedian the more I'm able to be alone because I can just process [ __ ] and think about [ __ ] and you know I think um and I can be an audience member and have a front row seat to my own inner monologue which is usually what I'll write jokes about yeah like why did I think this about this so you just have to be able to find some quiet and not just distract ourselves the problem is the phone is not does not count as a long time me just sitting there on my phone checking out liking so that's not your that then then you're in a you know then you're in a [ __ ] video game yeah that's correct you're in virtual reality that doesn't count and you're an adrenalin outrage cycle you know but I'm working on now I have to go back to being more social because I think that I'm now isolating a little bit too much a little too much yeah do you think I don't know you seem pretty have your [ __ ] together see my right what's the best first date idea damn besides Chipotle stories I like I like create ass I like I like live music I think it's a good one can like movies are terrible first date ideas why you can't talk in a movie stay at home but you go to hard movies so that you can touch each other now come on I like like any live music so Sharon Ellie there's so much live means that's a good one I'm not like don't go to like Drake yeah it to me would have to be a band that I like love it can't be like a new to me if I don't know them that's the fun if it's terrible then you make fun of it you know right and then also if it's bad you realize what kind of person she is you know if she's [ __ ] on the band and not having a good time she's a debbie downer like how for this chick socks man she's got fun in it you know good drinks the guys in relationships be following bikini models on social media let's be serious why fault why why we following guys I don't what are we doing I mean what are you I'm unfollow them I think it depends on the guy depends on the guy if he some guys have a great discipline where they literally like you know it's like if you not to compare women to cars or it's like you know if you follow the rock whatever I don't know [ __ ] you think see but for guys it's like gonna come in a relationship you know and that's like for them like hell Jesus Christ keep flipping I don't problem with it what are you problem in bikini shopping why do you need to fall bikini models well you know it's like for what I mean why watch gen France in a movie you think he cares about her talent I think guys like Jennifer Aniston yeah cuz she's good-looking Whitney you think we love Jayla's she has a box who does Jenny Jenny from the block is so attractive yeah has some hits if she looked like saya delft seven years ago it's not as big as hits we know this this is it am I give me two is this on it's all female 25 female I just don't I do think it's very frustrating when you're dating somebody and they're following a bunch of like lingerie models it's just like I don't depends on the person you know you watch porn we know you guys know there's no delusion about whether you know it depends on the person yeah like if you're a weird thing to be like flipping through at work but yeah that's strange but it's like a jealousy dude what's that dude but it's like a jealousy thing right yes I just if you know he's loyal and it's just for him it's like oh you know I don't know I think but now she has access if you're dating a celebrity and he's falling you gotta figure out that you're gonna have to yeah you know yeah you can DM or whatever let me look at your phone as the relationship over no there's trust issues mm-hmm can you work through that trust issue I I know I mean and I would never if like this my thing if if I have to look through your phone we price you me relationship laughter hey can I get your phone yeah what the [ __ ] root no it's over if the person is password and you don't know that password no I don't care you're gonna get caught that's you yeah somehow it's gonna come out yeah yeah I'm just asking so that and then if it feels like an obligation is it over if it starts to feel again I need contacts is it the Saudis been made for like 10 years that's a good question okay you're big too literal about these already very very literal Valentine's Day gift what do you know I have no idea that skips trying to get through [ __ ] Columbus this week the best gift you could receive as a man it's really hard to shop for guys and I was like to ask guys it's it's the toughest because I say so saying because I have money if I want something I buy it right so it's like what I want you're not gonna buy me yeah yeah yeah yeah you can I have to loan you money to buy me the thing I want yeah it's like tweed no don't buy that yeah you know Rolex something that I want no that's crazy yeah cuz if I want you know I don't know what's something that you would value materialistic like it's some material yeah I mean there's like a lot of why I'm a watch guy like watch third person or watch like what's a good present for like someone is that you are poor that's a cheaper call ICT I only remember this rich life all I remember being rich sharing a couch with your brothers like five years ago Jesus and it's from Ikea I showed up late with avocados house used to be on the 23rd floor you're like 1906 F penthouse you limited [ __ ] also reasonably oh so bad so five years ago what would have been a nightmare go back like I mean like a right I don't know who I don't nine years ago what would have been a gift that you would have wanted on Val I don't know I hate receiving gifts really yeah it's awkward yeah I'm not gonna do you feel like you have to perform and I don't know it's just like if again if I want I'm gonna work for it and make it happen like what I want you're not gonna get me you like it's not I get like you got say all what do you want right now you know I don't know five years or let's put yourself let's go back in time to five years ago what I want yeah a juicer that's five years yeah I probably on to juice get that don't get your man a juice he's so disappointed why juicing ain't the thing anymore this is what we found out just like cancer I think I don't know my frame cells yeah well what a blender that's a good gift yeah one of those bullets would you like the spokesperson for nine of them yeah your company peloton is that $6,000 bike I'll put a huffy can lease it though oh really okay did you make monthly payment a peloton okay get your man a peloton I mean I don't know this is a just became a real bujji podcast no sorry I don't know a nice dinner I appreciate it just a nice dinner okay yeah it's good like a gift card gift card bag dance cuz that's your gift no I think it's a good gift really it's lazy gift I think it's lazy it's the laziest gift or it's thoughtful to go hey I've thought a lot about this and I know I'm gonna get this wrong and I don't want and you don't know me very well that's probably love because I would you work very well I would you give me a $50 gift card to [ __ ] tell when your people now I have to go what I'm gonna do with this see I said 200 to Best Buy yeah that's what I said Turner best nice pretty tasty you'll get to pick out what you want you go to Dick's Sporting Goods and you get whatever you did this morning 200 of us while working at Best Buy for two hundo I'm taking the TV you're gonna get a DVD player one blu-ray player giftgiving stuff man I know that's why we're talking about it but you're really struggling with that it's super struggling how by the way do have any notes for me no it's great you're like who I you're like who I asked for advice about this for podcasts yeah oh well um no it's great you kept saying telling me to be more personal yep don't give us the TV Whitney no one likes that Whitney Mimi he knows that the system is on time at what I'm saying why you even ready paid for the podcast studio no I know but no one knows that Winnie no one can relate to that Whitney I'm in a different what do you talk about it's like you asking what to what gifts to give people Valentine's Day I don't know you know if they like people they you know they they want to get to know Whitney that's why she started podcasts you know I'm saying like I can't like I don't but yeah I hate when people start podcasting it's just like this you don't get to know e they don't pull back that wall like you like her what are you doing dude yeah like when they make it into like a TV show and over produce podcast CI what are you doing I feel like I under two side just because Joey Diaz perfect just have a conversation it's okay if it's boring no one thinks it's you only think it's more in because you're a comedian people just want to hear you talk yeah but people are here you talk and people want to know like what Whitney's dealing with you know I just don't have famous people on there to talk about their famous lives Kate Upton your guests are talking about [ __ ] and your tongue I doubt by the way couple things one time we were hanging out and we were in a grocery store and people thought you were heron Hernandez oh yes that's why I grew my hair out when he was exactly my era and everyone's looking at you I was like it was what he was in the thick of it too and I was fighting side my headshot Oh famous like oh is it like people no no they all think I'm Aaron Hernandez and I was really close to Tim Tebow at the time too so it's like Hughes his quarterback in college and I remember I was at a grouse starting this guy is like guys I mean he's like nah nah man I'm gonna this muhfucka right now he's in Marina del Rey Wow I'm telling about the I get a pick dog in the picture I'm like oh hell no so I grew this [ __ ] out do this [ __ ] out isn't there stuff that is you shouldn't share about your personal life on these podcasts like what I don't know I'm asking you to give me advice I don't think so I think more people can relate to the struggles than anything mm-hmm like if you go back to us fine kidding me I cry on there when I lose fights while us fights talk about why I got fired from Fox yeah I've just always been at the time I was like girl here we go cuz yeah I met Fox was like Kate do not go on your podcast tomorrow and tell him all this stuff do not do that I go I can't do that man I have to do that I'm telling it's a bad idea all right cool man so I did I was like what when I want is a fence I went on that next day oh wow blurted all that out and then I get fired but I just feel like people want like they want that strumpet no it's too here you know that's what they like instagrams for your success and all like that's not that's real man we're all struggling like yeah the [ __ ] man yeah not everyone's all good I just feel like you you know I think for me for the longest time like I share so much about myself I feel like and on what though you don't think I share a lot about myself on what on what platform on what platform I did write a book about my about a lot of personal [ __ ] okay cuz I was too scared to talk about it I think okay and I went let me just put this in book form because I feel like I can't say this on stage that's fair I shared in my special all about my boobs okay what else do I need here on here yeah talked about what on here what I talked about on here I feel like I talking about pretty personal [ __ ] on here I'm so I'm sure you do I'm saying but that's why you should do have a pot so you're saying that I don't share enough about myself on you I'm not saying that I'm saying do you send me a text and you said that well it's the first episode I would I think what makes certain people great podcasters is there's no you can remove that fourth wall and it's not like you're this famous rich person out of your house doing a podcast more people can relate to that than anything stuff - right - and stand Bob see there's certain bits people can relate to stuff to relate on you know 2 broke girls or you know you went to Penn and your speeches they're like yeah alright yeah Whitney's a [ __ ] superhero man but it's like you're also a regular person and that's what the podcast is for I feel like I'm a wreck on here on here ya know but I also feel like I'm just also might just be you you know like once a rack that's what you think that's you I also think that I'm I'm just getting the hang of it like I feel like I just I don't know how many we've done but I feel like I'm just getting the hang of it cuz when I started I felt very rushed like I had to get a lot of interesting content in yeah you feel like it has to be like yeah yes like really tight and punchy and I feel like only in the last like two weeks have I been able to just like chill out and go like whatever happens happens and if it's funny it's funny if it's not it's not let's experience the same thing with like letting the room sit like it's okay that there's silence sometimes in bits yeah and it's okay to just like be comfortable in the silence cuz you know you're gonna hit a [ __ ] you know and having it feel like an organic conversation that doesn't have an agenda has been really hard for me because I think it has to be funny all the time cuz that's old-school Hollywood yes it's same thing like I do that food-truck diary show on Showtime and then I guy we're gonna give you these bullet points on no no I don't need any of that just get me a [ __ ] food truck let me have the guys on I want and just fill me and him have a conversation yeah and then I married some people come on the oh man what do you want to talk about you what are you into man mm-hm fishing let's talk about fishing for an hour now what do you I'm not here to another I'm not here I don't care whatever you wanna talk about me your kids let's do it for an hour I'm not here to be that entertaining it's on You Man and for the reason people gravitate towards that cuz the overproduced all that stuff if to help man it's out so true I do want to ask you this what are red flags in friends and in people like if you were dating right now what are red flags giving content you're good at this you're very we've talked about this before you're very good about this you're very good about like how much social media is too much like Schulz said I like a private Instagram he likes a private Instagram mhm but he has his public one to know he liked it in a bit his girl yeah his girl he went private Instagram I like that I love that mm-hmm I love I have an Instagram red flag someone who's like trying to be an influencer but also has like a job job who's like also trying to be like Instagram famous is a red flag only chicken heads then they're a wall only being selfies as a red flag you're really good at this we used to talk about this we should talk about this but those are red flags but also when I was 25 those were red flags but he schultz what but for listeners who are like 30 like right the [ __ ] are you talking about I mean selfies and what like a deal-breaker maybe you've just been out of the game for too long you're rusty I feel like you've been oh I'm not rusty I'm trying to think I would help people red flags because like looking through I mean look at the guy guys are it's a lot of pictures of themselves you know it's a lot of like to me they're bad person I thought it'd be did you're a bad person but like everyday like selfies it's a lot for me personally I like to I want to see a sunset every now and then I want to see a [ __ ] mountain range I want food something anything anything if you think you're the [ __ ] it's just not that appealing to me no I mean let sexism maybe that's totally sexist picturing a guy pick up his phone and do this all there's nothing Lisa track just on a detective but it's your girl do it to them like wow oh I'm sorry it's a human nature baby girl are you filter like that's just not sexy to me I'm sorry maybe maybe I'm but it's not sexy for a guy to see in a girl either it's just like so like like oh look at me something repellent about it but we all do it and like I'm sure that if a guy saw me do it they'd be like uh like I have this like excuse for I'm like this is my job I have to do this I'll say that I think that it's also watching it just feels like trying too hard and it's just repellent to me I also don't like when people try too hard on their socials to not like when people do like black-and-white photos with like the white border around it so you go to their wall and it's all like yeah take it easy now you're just trying you're not Ansel [ __ ] Adams either so but here but here's this whole conversation from Schultz to this it's like you guys are so focused on social media mhm again I don't give a [ __ ] from a girl's finances or social media I'm not basing any of that for red flag hmm like that those those things you know especially social media like that it's the Wild West yeah we're trying to get attention yeah but you know you don't know those people yeah the red flag Biff you sat down a she's on her phone all the time you know on the phone all the time usually a red flag they have a ton of guy friends Oh interesting she said that's me it's a it's a little different because the business you're in around comics so in general the demo especially in comedy it's real male heavy mm-hmm for the reason the girls hate each other so and you have student loans I did you did yeah I don't think I have I think they're all paid off you think you got a phone call you need earnest if you have student loans refinancing them with earnest could save you money or lower your monthly payment and it only takes two minutes to check your rate online if you're still paying the same rate you were paying when you graduated odds are you could reduce your monthly payment and save big big bank even if you have refinanced before with today's low 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I'm talking about that's that true science T is what that is right now embark has an inclusive offer you can't get anywhere else go to embark vet comm now use promo code Cummings that's my last name to save 15% off of your dog DNA test kit visit embark vet dot-com use promo code Cummings to say if you're gonna love it that's so weird to me because it's like female comics it's like for the longest time yes there was one on each line up and there was a scarcity complex but now it's just not like that anymore like when female comics are competitive I'm just like what are you doing that's very strange I guess in order to become a comic you already have to be kind of competitive so maybe it's like a chicken and egg thing maybe you're already like that it'll be off to be nice cheerleading of up no no you don't and also like I don't know I get why female comics that are old or older could be because they were so [ __ ] roasted and trolled in haze like I was so [ __ ] hazed yeah and if I hadn't have like gotten therapy and done work on myself I think I would be a really bitter competitive nasty person yeah but but you're not but I know that everyone that hazed me was in a lot of pain like those guys were just in a tremendous amount of pain so the field you and you're gonna have a lot of male friends just that's that's that's because they're just not competitive but but if the girls not in the entertainment has a ton of male friends hmm why cuz you think all the guys want to have sex with her and she doesn't know it or she does know and she's on sex with it oh it's a huge red flag Oh compute read play huh huge the biggest really I think it's a huge one no wonder do all guys think that that's like an own red flag it's just for the girls attractive I think it's a red flag in general friendships and relationships if a girl doesn't have a lot of girlfriends like if a girl that doesn't have a lot of girlfriends tries to be friends with me I'm like weird yeah it's always weird you don't have girlfriends or a dog or a cat if you don't have anything I have I need you pre-approved by someone else yeah that's weird it's also weird if again if you're gonna base off social media go to profile she's on a yacht by herself who do you think's doing it she's paying for that yacht one way I'm telling you that those Tahiti trips ain't free some old dudes getting some work it's Catalina Island and you said it was Tahiti I see [Laughter] [Laughter] I'm never letting you go what's the longest podcast you've done on Rogan how long what's the longest three hours in Chains I probably a fight campaign we did like four hours it's the last one we were three hours deep and I was like I'm out of here I go put my son to bed Friday my set he's like no you'll have to go I didn't really that was a [ __ ] optional yeah and he just keeps doing did our and I have to pee so bad and I can't even focus it's such a win for me when we're sitting there he goes I go to the bathroom like go ahead I'm gonna ask you this I remember around the time I met you I was dating some guy and like we were like arguing about something and I was like look like you date me if you want like a challenge or something or like some guys just don't want to challenge and he just looked at me anyway why would any guy ever want to challenge the guy you were dating said that some guy was hanging out with yeah okay and I was like oh a lot of women what's the question the question is why do women who told women that guys would ever want to challenge in a relationship I don't think they want it too easy you know I love it you're saying a little pride bud is you know every guy knows like oh my god this girl's so dramatic I hate drama you love it you love drama you love cleaning up a mess you love chasing a mess you love you love crazy you love fighting but you're not gonna appreciate if it comes too easy that's your guys like to hunt thank you Jesus don't you think a my rock but I don't like the hunt I'm not a hunter you don't like something that comes too easy that's not my point is that if you get that gave me that car outside I'm not gonna appreciate it I am I gonna wash it myself I'll probably hit it on the curb I worked my [ __ ] tail off with everything it took a while to get that dream car so it's like I appreciate the [ __ ] out of it I think it's no guy has the balls to say that because guys like no string like crazy I don't like I don't like to have to chase people I don't like girls that cause drama I don't like crazy I like interesting yeah like interesting and well read to unicorns but I think that a lot of guys try to pretend that they don't like drama and then they'll go women are [ __ ] crazy and I'm just like you love it love it no they like you but again I again too easy is not good too easy it's not good like you're playing your cards very close to the vest over here really mm-hmm interesting emotional jailbreaker is in a sentence a guy is working with someone and they like text like have an emotional affair it usually happens at work as my guess what happens at work if you're confiding too much in someone if someone knows your secrets more than the person you're with or that kind of have a problem with it emotional cheating I don't have a problem with it because obviously the guy or the girl doesn't feel comfortable enough to do it with whoever he's dating or married to so it's like he's getting it out you know and I think it has helped save resentment later and maybe it's what he or she needs at the time to get through whatever she's dealing with and that other person's check in the box they're not a bad person man because because the person in their cubicle next to him is a great person a good listener and for the reason she can relate to on that subject but you're a girl at home can't oh no oh no doesn't make him bad person doesn't emotional cheating always lead to physical cheating on some level maybe mm-hmm maybe because I also think that we have to actively not emotionally connect we have to go like you know what I really want to share this thing that just happened to me but I need to wait til I get home and share with the person I'm with so I don't start just [ __ ] you know emotion sharing in a sloppy way with other people is it that [ __ ] up though I think oh really I think you have yes I think that emotional cheating usually leads to some kind of physical cheating degree or what happens is you start emotionally connecting with someone who's not your person and then you're unavailable to someone who's and then you're unavailable to the person you're with so it's like if you're at work connecting with someone connecting with someone you think that you're so close and then you go home to your guy and you're like well he just doesn't understand me understand you you just haven't been telling him um or he doesn't understand you and that other person might be the one person should be with ya and it's all good or you don't have to get everything from one person correct it's me tough to have someone fill your cup one person fill your cup it's tough we talked about this yesterday I'm Frank you would dove Davidoff in Callen okay stop really figure relationships out yeah those the three of us are degenerates but the problem is that you know he's going through therapy and you know obviously is yeah oh yeah his brothers a therapist and they were but they're talking about monogamy and how you know this is just natural for guys and you know the the caveman and I'm like alright so what do you do what do we do with that information yeah also you know I I just like that information doesn't help anybody yeah make you feel better about cheating or doesn't you know a lot of what do you do with that info what do you do with that info okay it's on our DNA DB monogamous but you won't end up like heaven you know I'm saying it's just life our life expectancy it used to be 30 so it was for that life expectancy it was natural but now their life expectancy is 80 it's just changed so now it's just be monogamous a couple times in your lifetime I think that's just sort of though and they're saying that's not in our DNA newest way to look at it ya know a lot of things are in our DNA you know beyond the Sun we [ __ ] burn there's a lot of [ __ ] that well you have to do really did dub you weren't around for this I had an epic meltdown at The Comedy Store really once and of it wasn't his fault dub Davidoff comedian great guy was not his fault I mean I loved I mean I just loved him we used to be really close friends and he at red flag and he came in from some night at Vegas and this is what like all the guys were really like this was like before rogon was back before thea was there the [ __ ] Joe it was a [ __ ] show and it was like classic sort of like glory days of The Comedy Store like girls everywhere like it was just it was we're scummy yeah we're just scummy er sounds so fun but it was dumb that's my way to button up and I think I was going through a breakup or something or I've been cheated on I don't know what happened but I was in wrong place and dove-like had a girl there or something and there was some other girl and I couldn't tell which girl he was dating or I don't know what's happening and I snapped like some very old childhood wound triggers scabbed was ripped off yeah I was triggered my eyes flutter back in my head and I just started yelling at every comedian in the hallway and I just oh wow you guys need to class it up security to class it up Mike Young when you need a class it up and you're dead says I had like a helicopter arm does a cute class every class with the [ __ ] up it was a know what you left there was old everybody's like oh she snapped know was like she fan snapping but finally snapped because I kept having to meet everyone's girlfriends and wives and then I'm friends with them and in there they're asking me what's going on that's for this they do they go hey meet Whitney and then I'm the one that has to co-sign of the navigate feel the best yes and then I'm friends with all three of your girlfriends and they don't know that they other one exists and I have to pretend and I just got so sick of it and I just like had an epic snare long ago was that okay years ago I would say baby 10 yeah this is like quite a while hasn't been in a while yeah no this was like before they were married and it you know was just like back when everyone was just sort of just getting famous and successful and this is you know pretty mean to you you imagine anybody doing like sit we're there tonight you imagine someone doing that tonight you mean cheating or being me no cheating its day yeah I'm saying blowing up on other comics in the hallway no wait no like it's just not me a second I'm playin cameras everywhere name it but it was not it was like I think I had been hazed for so long and I had like it finally snapped fit my tongue for so long and I was like the kids sister of the Comedy Store I haven't looked back pack and I just [ __ ] snapped good for you yeah was dove like what it was actually kind of wild to watch everybody just go like pale white like but I think also they were like it's mad time she snapped and then for her I was going out of the disease change yeah I think I fixed him there were doves demerits outside now yeah everyone really bulletin you know I actually look back and I'm like maybe I did scare them straight you did gave him the pep talk they needed I do think that there are some people the economy store like know that I love them and believe in them who have said to me like comments were like I just there are times where I'm about to make a bad decision I'm like I wouldn't want we need to know about that and I think it might stem from that night I bet I can see how people screaming all these guys and like Sebastian walked up and I was like you need a class and then he went up and I was like you're fine you're cool you just keep doing what you're doing keep it up buddy after [ __ ] everyone what else I know you have to go soon I'm good what else you got I don't know y'all you guys usually do this we go pretty long three hours we go pretty long I really give a [ __ ] but now that you're telling me I need to reveal stuff about myself no don't listen anybody that's like a bunch of secrets and reading my journal because I do hold back a little bit and I do need help with this well you just start well yeah it is talking and being entertaining is your skill set you're saying really revealing things about yourself and your skills but also how many have you done 30 40 13 13 yeah you know I'm saying I always just think that I'm just warming up I like to prepare and I like to be interesting and I don't like to be sloppy and sometimes I just think my life is boring mmm I think you'd be surprised you know but also you see you don't want to be sloppy and like entertained but like you talking's entertaining you know what saying like there any comics that youth are surprised how nice they are that you were didn't think they'd be nice in the beginning and also how this lip injections going I know I don't think that lip injections I woke up like this no I get it all the time and everyone thinks I do my eyebrows what do them like cut them I don't know it was like a sweet eyebrows like alright thanks man oh you might like like trim them no do you pluck in the middle no oh yeah I did nothing literally never notice I've never looked yeah I don't know I don't know ha yeah but no woke up like this uh what was the code I got a really good hairline uh Walt kind of you do it's gonna slowly I don't come - yeah it's like a really good anti propecia I just gotta you know comics have been super nice to me uh chip L was really nice to me but you just want to talk about fighting which bum me out you really don't like people talking about that with you um it's just I don't want them to just you know obviously it's like if they know me from fighting they want to bring it up I got but I stopped going to Blue Bottle cuz I basically do a podcast we don't pick up my [ __ ] coffee hey dude the fight like on Monday though you know give it a listen man so I don't have to do it here please never wink even in an impression about winking we as we can out to enjoy a good I week but also bad it because this I also shoulders it's a tween it's so show it's so Hollywood I remember when I first met you we'd go places and people would like either try to flake fight you or they'd be like yeah dude I've used to fight and I get the ice to get that other thing like that how do you still fight man that one time like oh yes please tell me that tell me are fighting a bar that'd be fantastic don't work like it was just such a bummer like I just never had thought about I thought being a comedian was a nightmare because people come out and try to be funny and they just always end up hurting your feelings but people would come up to you and just by god dude nah are you both though how your ball are you people trying to be jokes a try do you wanna fight you're like like what yeah like the think something's funny or I had one guys that pills coffee goes dude love the comedy fighting out so much I'm like what does that even mean yeah I don't you when I was fighting you in a fan I don't but might say that I didn't make feel good yeah people do they give you career advice that's what I get yeah I got a lot of career advice I get people like you should more voiceovers I'm like what is that you don't know anything about what's crazy thing you're saying I know people that like nobody how come you weren't Wonder Woman and like because they didn't want me to be yeah my mom still that's why I don't get why you're not Batman yeah you know hard is no hard that it's let me take Christian Bale's job that's what we do but they'd stirred like I don't get it explain it to me and then you like cuz I'm not good enough and he's also very skilled they know where to find me yeah they know where to find me yeah or my mom like dude the rock Jumanji 3 I just don't see why you can't do it again yeah not my thing do you watch WWF nope grown man but grown man Ricky nice do the real thing you know what is the comedy equivalent to WWF like improv know there's some good improv like um like what is it is it acting it's a telenovela acting I don't know I don't know blue man group like what is it I don't know that's a great question I don't know do you guys not prepared fighting the kid not once 0 not once or or or King the sting have you ever talked about a guest that was disappointing oh yeah yeah oh yeah we've had we've really had to happen twice one was op C Callen booked this guy he was like a porno director and his heart Oh porno director his porn star and Bryan's like dude I'm telling on your that you're watching your wall yeah hey sorry or no my bad you can put on your grid sorry anyway so he brought him up this is years I mean [ __ ] five years ago but he came on there and we were like trying to get like the behind the scenes of porno and it was so disturbing and just like a bummer halfway through I was just like and Callan knows if I go hey I'm gonna go the bathroom especially when the guys in the middle of a story he knows it's over yeah so I was like I'm gonna go the bathroom coughs what do you think I go we can't hear this man you didn't air it but I'm like we can't hear this there's no way we can hear this it was like so just how about five six years ago at least no so degrading and just like dark and you're just like what are we gonna do with this yeah look I don't wanna promote this we're gonna do with this hmm there's that and then we had one I won't say his name we got a comic come on there carrot top nope and he was doing bit like you'd ask him a serious question like like hey what's some red flags and he had a bit on red flag but he did the bit but was it communicating with us and just powered through like where'd you just go what's the context he did like context I can't answer the question just grabbing a sense yeah you just power through it and did his bits and there's no car and I was like oh this telling me now yep and halfway do I like the pilot I gotta go the bathroom got it my god we can't we can't do this we can't enter this didn't air it nope have you run into the person since yes did you tell him why I don't think you even realized that it didn't get aired the reason no can't four or five years ago now if it's not someone that we know yeah we don't need gas yes me and Brian so unless it's someone that we really want on we don't do gas yeah Jim steam doesn't do guest what's the biggest fight you've ever gotten in with Brian biggest fight Brian I ever got in probably probably when we first started piked three years in just cuz you know but I want to be you know he's doing well in acting now but the time you know he's kind of you know trying to figure it out he's doing some movies here and he's kind of doing stand-up kind of not but he wasn't committed to the podcast and his actor friends were making fun him for doing podcast you know that most people in this business for a very long time as a podcast what is this like it's not did not take it seriously correct and Brian got a lot of ships like a sink yeah I got a lot of [ __ ] from his buddies for doing a podcast and he would show up late wasn't taking serious I'd have to do it by myself a lot of times or bring a guest host on and I said like so much resentment against them I show up I think yeah I remember just like dude just commit me I'm telling you just commit and then Brian take today's like you thank God man thank God thank God because we there's a time where I was it comes if you don't start coming man I'm gonna stop doing it like three years in probably I was a guy I can't carry it anymore man mm-hmm yeah but I think that for a long time it was like a lot of people saw it it's like Dancing with the Stars it's like what you did if you couldn't make it in television or something no one took podcast seriously and people still don't quite understand and now I would say every day a very big influential celebrity oh what's up but this podcast thing should I be doing this so funny it's so funny so and I get it's the only thing anybody listens to your watches really especially as a comic though yeah so she's a comic but that was a fight but I was like over time there's a fight other than that nothing really you know Brian he's so easygoing yeah it was time there we just wasn't taking the podcast serious and I that I had to do everything I'm just so curious because I think a lot of times when you go in business with your friends you have to be ready for the friendship to be line has never been that way because Brian you know he's not motivated by money I'm not moving motivated by money so it's like there's never been an issue Brian was like and I didn't care he's like man we spiced it down with a Lorient figure the contractor that we're making some serious money when you figure this out and remember went in there and you know the lawyers like man you know so we should do 50/50 and Ben's like um Brendan's the reason why this is here it's gonna be 60/40 I'm like you don't have to do that man Brian's aqui no no no you know he's always been great we've never had any like really really bad blowout fights never quit the podcast until those early years when he was like coming like an hour late or just disrespecting me mm-hmm never I remember that it was bad man that has attached so much resentment against them I was just like so upset yeah so upset it's a lot because I also think it was like you were trying to get out of a thing you know and he was kind of just not like yeah it's just it's wild to think how I mean we used to roll our eyes at podcasts we were just like and now it's just yes Hollywood Hollywood's kind of trying to fit is just starting to figure it out Hollywood's trying to figure out cuz they realize how much money's that's right that's the only reason Hollywood's trying and that's what took me so long to do a podcast because that's not the that's not the reason I mean there's a million reasons yeah it's brought to you by cash app um and and I also thought there are all these big companies now that are doing podcasts and they give you this big advance but then they keep a lot of these and those things are [ __ ] and you're who you're the reason I did it like this yeah you're the reason I basically started doing a podcast cuz I had asked for your advice yippy because the when once Hollywood and those businesses get involved there's gonna go the same game plan they've been doing that's these huge networks that control everything yeah so you have me on I say something outlandish you say something outlandish don't get cancelled you at all man they have nothing to do with it people understand when you make a television show in the last two that I've made have been it's not happened for like crazy devastating like freak reasons but I think people understand you write something then you turn it in to like 15 people that have never written anything never written anything on their own they maybe went to law school they maybe were like the son of the guy that worked there before one has their own agenda everyone wants to earn their salary they or and justify their job because they have to justify their existence by creating problems that only they can solve yes which is by like giving some fake [ __ ] notes or something so you give 14 people your script that's working and then they give you a bunch of notes and slowly it starts to corrode away and because they need to feel involved in order to fight for it and get you more ad money it takes three years truly three years by the time you get notes it's three years by time if that project gets green light and then you have to go cast it and find actors and you hire an actor that they keep it and then who's gonna want what network give me a network who's gonna watch it and by the way there's no such thing its network no one knows what anything's on so people come up to me once a day but I love two Broke Girls and I always ask them what network wasn't on they're like mmm yeah we watched the show we don't watch networks watch shows right we just find them did you watch air yes I love it what's his name Jerome is it Jerome Jerry Jerry he's so great favorite I'm trying to get Monica the coach on the pod yes she's the Knicks Amite nick saban of women i don't know what that means who's next amen Nick Saban my favor oh wow my screen saver right now is Monica from cheer I should have Jerry on there I know I know I could shove Jerry on here but I mean I think I should he's doing so much press right now he blew I did so positive for him when he's cheated fat I mean when he stood up I was like has no one gonna acknowledge his cheat it's so outrageous he's so positive yeah I love him so much and when he the first time he didn't make mat and then the second time he didn't make mat but he's the real he's so positive fact that he didn't make mat maybe the time and you're heartbroken for and they stays in too strong like goddamn I hate that guy I've been talking [ __ ] out of that gym I love him so I love Jerry you know I even looked in buying Navarro t-shirts I can't I just bought a new vard sure I want the shirt on stage yeah I want this shirt I bet we can get shirts made can't we Benton hates my love I'm sure you don't like Jerry whatever you would like I watched it but I mean I I grew up around very normal people so normal people don't impress me the way they do Whitney oh you mean because he's nice and Texas is what you like him no I like Jerry guy who's great he'd stay with my aunt's friend for a long time he has a Benton has an interesting theory on shear that what did you say it's like dragging the dog dragged in the middle of America that's like Cheerios yeah it yeah there's no straight guys on the team is there I mean um boys when I don't know them over the zoom there's not they didn't highlight any of them I don't think they have a friend who was a male children and he's straight as you know yeah so you know Chappelle lacy you know to Chappelle atomic oh he's great he checked out Louisville yeah yeah who's like I'll do this fantastic I got so many girls I'm like yeah yeah I think you're the exception I just love it because it is so hard what they're doing is incredible right I think so I think were they the the guy who made it he also made last chance you did you watch that so that's basic air but football and it's with all these you know college d1 rejects who they're so talented they should be in the NFL but they [ __ ] up not a small school in Kansas but they're the JUCO football like Navarro is of cheerleading it's in the middle of nowhere but the the last chance last jet you'll love it it's the best the coach is this white guy who's born in Compton so he relates the black guys yeah so it's it's so entertaining it's more entertaining than chair and you in the same director who did both but he goes oh after I did chair you know I'd say cheerleading's that it's the toughest boat sport in the world yeah take it easy dude but take it easy I mean hey take it easy would you let your kids play football if they're really talented yes if they're just running your mill [ __ ] how do they get talented if they don't you know you know how yo know how my coaches knew my parents knew because when you're around other six-year-olds and you hand me a football and no one can touch me I'm the fastest on the field like I don't might have something here but if he's just a guy I'm like read a book what are you gonna throw the football around yes like my fire my for my four-year-old super athletic like you did like you put a ball out and it's game on he's just like athletically he's gifted but again if it's if he says if he doesn't have a real gift at it you're not playing football man but you so I'll know I'm telling you I know it sounds [ __ ] up and I'll know but I also you know my biggest problem is why I have insecurities now about my intelligence is like when I was playing football especially at CU you major in football but we my my my major did not matter like they gave me the easiest classes and I would go into my advisor but I don't need the class with the other guys like I I don't have to show up for class on making these these tests like I'm telling you give me real classes man yeah she's like this is the schedule that works with the practice and so I just remember to like I know this I know this yeah I'm really kid you're saying you don't want your kid going to college and not getting really I don't want to I don't want a major in football if you're gonna well it just depends it's tough it's it's so tough do you think footballs gonna stay around in our lifetime yes they'll never go away never it's too big it's America's sport what happens if but I saw I think CT you're like yeah no [ __ ] dude UF CT CT is also um CT well yeah it made me funny no I'm just kidding I think I think CT is over it like yeah we have the studies now and people have to pass wait to realize what's happening and you know I've seen Hernandez was terrible but also those studies are being so exaggerated and it's you know most guys are okay the percentage of football players playing all their lives and played for 10-15 is most of our okay thriving Tony Romo you know is one of the best comte's in the world I mean concussions he had Troy ting that's one of the best in general those guys were okay there's the exception with Junior Seau and in Hernandez but in general footballs okay and Aaron Hernandez just have more than the average person or yeah he had the worst they've ever seen in that age group I think was 24 and he had the worst CT they've ever seen at a certain position that's the most common that happens in uh no I mean he played tough you don't sleep with a play tied in so he's getting hit a lot but the worst thing I've ever seen but I do think like everyone's focus so much on CT and football and how bad is free but bring so many people so much to joy and a lot of people that's how they get out of whatever situation they're in it it does great things but those studies when you look into a lot of those studies are over exaggerated but isn't also concussions are under recorded also like it's only recorded if you actually go out like a lot of guys get concussions and they just we're sure the sorts the small concussions but in general the the general percentage of guys that play football are just hmm just fine never thought about that and what absolutely gonna do yeah what is he gonna do yeah and if you asked all those football players especially let's play in the Super Bowl on Sunday hey man you're probably have CT when you're 70 yeah okay fine I'll have something when I'm sad what else am I gonna yeah yeah yeah what else win do you think that college players should get paid yes that's the biggest crook the biggest scam in any institution it's so [ __ ] up it's so [ __ ] up it's form of slavery and then they go oh well we're giving education no you're not I was there man yeah that I was it's an awful education no it's not real you're passing the classes they're selling jerseys and they're making millions and millions of dollars off that kid when Tim Tebow is playing for Florida and then when asked championship he had the number one selling jersey in the world over Michael Jordan over Kobe over Tom Brady the number one selling Jews in the world how much money received for it zero that's it's so [ __ ] up basketball - yes why don't they pay them it's just a scam eventually they well once comes around to it but it's just a matter of time but it's just so [ __ ] up because you look at a guy like - who's a correct for Alabama he's supposed to be the first pick in the draft and he got hurt roll tide roll tide what's up girl he's Nick Saban he's the bass college coach there so but that kid - ax was supposed to be the number one pick in the draft he got his last game you got hurt blew out his hip so he's [ __ ] so let's say can't play anymore he want you want a national champ sold all these jerseys you know what happens to him I don't know work out [ __ ] Blue Bottle asking me question you know it's such a bummer Wow and who changes that who has to do something I don't know the institutions you know college is such a heavy institution and - good luck man I don't know and then they won't let kids there turn into sports but but they won't like kids like like in basketball you have to go to college for a year you can't go straight to the NBA what do you think that is why because they have to make money off that player before he goes the NBA and Wow all the guys in the room are nodding in NFL in the NFL if you play college football say you graduate high school it's a very rare but let's say you graduate high school and you're ready for the NFL you me the first pick nope you uh played two years of college football why do you think that is so the institution can make all that money and then you can go it's so fun this is so [ __ ] up how come the cheerleaders don't make any money this is cheerleaders no one's paying money to watch cheerleaders yeah that's when they're like oh it's you know football you know like it should be if you have women make this man make this like yeah no I'm not doing that but I don't want to do that I doc you don't wanna do it I'm not gonna do that with you but here's what I will say I'm gonna play devil's advocate because that's what comedians do we say things we don't always mean don't bring it so n be a basketball okay they make like $15 an hour they make a hundred dollars game basically okay okay and they're not allowed to date two players okay if they're gonna make a hundred hours an hour they should be able to date players in my opinion yeah they can date the players they don't want it not allowed or the maybe that's NF but y'all know you're not allowed to date any of them but it always happens like they always date men yeah but what's the point of Chi what's the point of doing it unless you're gonna get a I agree you know I mean I agree I thought you're gonna offend paying the cheerleaders more I mean I don't I don't you could probably pay the mortgage I mean is that even minimum wage I don't know how many hours of game I don't know I don't know how many hours they practice yeah I think they make less than minimum wage and the benefit is maybe I'm gonna meet this guy or maybe you know and yeah because votes no one's getting famous off of it yeah me Paula Abdul was a Laker but that's right but notes gets it I do think cheerleaders should get paid more cuz they asked them to do appearances for free they need some sort of you I know nothing about this but no you're right they need some sort of yeah that's what they need some sort of Union yes they've no leverage though because they anyone else would do in a heartbeat yeah because the here's if and if you're a NFL owner and those cheerleaders like hey we want more you owe us this you know we want more picket signs if I'm an owner I'm like cool yes and go away let's see what happens ticket sales let's see if nothing oh no nothing nothing but none offense but not not a thing nothing but not a damn thing no no it's cool yeah did you enjoy but no he gives a flying [ __ ] that was my prom with that cheer show I'm watching those kids going they're putting all this especially the the one with the [ __ ] helicopter parents I'm watching her do you want what do you want for which one I need I taste my face what do you want fried I want Gabby's parents to back the [ __ ] up yeah and let her live a little also my dad making calls and get me a bikini line no you don't I do i do say that I think that her dad is getting way too much [ __ ] he does see what he seems super creep I think so too but like shooting a Sheree walk till the cows that ass good Oh like everybody on the show seemed really Hollow except for Jerry they were all very sad to me how about the hold up how about how about the emo chick well get to her her name that does not end well lies no it's not what is her name Nemo chick I was just checking I was just texting with her Lexie you attacked with her about Changi about her Lexie we'll get to Lexie in a second but Gabby let's slow down with Gabby I can't remember what the argument was but I got these parents yes I don't I think there is a weird war on men where no man can do anything right if the dad was absent we would say he was an [ __ ] if he was taking her to practice we'd say he was a pervert if he's helping her build her business he's two hands on what version of Gabby's dad would we not Crimmins don't like the red flag of it for me the first red flag was another had an interview with it it hasn't - dude how you his daughter but him and his wife there's hockey and his wife's like oh that's not he's will you just have the story go ahead to the story I saw the story already you've never been pissed off in an argument I'm just saying that my question to your wife get the [ __ ] out of here both no come on no here's problem with here's the problem here's the problem is when they go man you're doing this schedule during this schedule when you get done you know I know you want to rest but you got to do this against here like dude I don't want to do you get to tell she's like I'm [ __ ] over this man like you're not to go here do this through this I'm like you got to let that girl be a [ __ ] girl man because when this ends it's not pretty she put on [ __ ] a hundred pounds do you mind a thousand pounds sister new show on TLC and that's how it ends she's new back flips and she wanna be a champion or not she was made what I'm playing devil's advocate maybe she was she's like well I want to win I want this I want this bikini line and then she's sitting round on her phone being a brat and not taking care of herself he's like well do you want to do this thing or not I put a bunch of time into your career I've raised you I put all my savings into these [ __ ] sequin uniforms now hold on hold on wait here's the problem those parents career is their dog he's known as business I know how documentaries work I know how TV shows work I know that had they manipulate people to look certain ways Lexi story she already came out and said that the the John's Lexi Lexi's the blonde emo girl her raving that was before Daytona Beach and they put at the end to make it look like she on ceremoniously was removed and then was just like vaping at raves that was she not removed from the theme she was but then she got back and then did Daytona Daytona was before that they could change what she did get kicked off in dip you late was she on the team she's on the team back at the end yeah and went Delta so she's goodness the rave was not at the end switched it so they do a lot of it yeah they do a lot of manipulators the problem baby maybe maybe but here's the thing everybody in every documentary says the same thing and Hernandez wife is like he was not gay he was not a murderer the guy I'm [ __ ] making a murderer listen Brandon Bass is actually very smart the Michael Jackson guys are like I'm not buying it yeah I just I just think and I know I'm playing devil's advocate a little bit because you know I'm the first person to be like a dad's not let handlings right I just I don't know I I just think there's something to be said for having expectations for your kids and my dad [ __ ] Road Meese that's such a gross thing to say but that's a sink no bro be so hard about what it's so hard with studies and I'm so grateful that he did and I hate it at the time but my work ethic is all from my dad for sure if my dad talk about something different though I agree with that me too if my dad was in a documentary about me everyone would think he was a [ __ ] [ __ ] yes so grateful that my dad had such high expectations and worked me so hard and if my dad should add some Whitney Cummings bikinis their one pieces you dad managing your tour and your merch not and making sure you shopping Cleveland works and then when you go pop I need a break on I mean now is not the time capitalize on mine [ __ ] Jessica Simpson's parents did it Miley Cyrus's parents did it a Katherine Heigl's mom did it hold on what go through those three examples let's talk about all three of them happy to afteron Heigl how bad it has the house in Utah doing great works whenever she wants yes she set a crazy thing on ellen fein not a lot of people like her but those pills are getting paid anyone would [ __ ] take her career it's what she said I don't shows so not her car after the Judd Apatow stuff after the yep she got us a show okay so she said you wouldn't work you say USA they say most watch net net mush most watch Network bullsh on TV network that's not true u.s. there's no way that's true let's watch that work you have a show on there so what's going on there all right see now you're now this is [ __ ] this is [ __ ] i do know [ __ ] about USA it's the most watched network let's watch what show well as a blue-collar factor more than ABC NBC American Idol bachelor/bachelorette most-watched cable network all you're changing the to Burn Notice changing top Network I'm googling this right now okay so Katherine Heigl you love her household name movie star Katherine you're so loose with them movie star drive your loosey-goosey with movie stars right now she [ __ ] stepped in some [ __ ] but her big she's your mom did everything she needed to do sure her mom showed up okay her mom handled Chet and Vader rich and the house in Utah house Miley Cyrus's mental Gatien she's self-destructed on her own she was a child star that's different from like eight Gaby's not yeah he's a child star Gabby got famous at eight doing YouTube YouTube videos at the pop wood filming doing the splits confusing keeping your kid accountable and not giving up he's a lot of beams who is that guy such a such a tape throw up what was I just thinking up I don't know I just think that Oh who's your third one I think parents Jessica Simpson who is a great career billion dollars billion dollars come on the show anytime Jesse can't add has a billion dollars I love justice she's fantastic she was my favorite out of like those girls was like Christina Aguilera Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson adjust Simpson calendar I think we're too hard on stage parents I think you're confusing that's not hunting either you're confused on discipline and stage pans but also there's a if you're getting followed by a camera crew for four months you're gonna say something dumb you're gonna do something dumb you're gonna lose your temper but if that dad acted that way towards you how would you handle it my dad did act like that towards me my dad used to [ __ ] make me stay up till 2:00 in the morning and quiz me with vocab words when I'd already taken the test let me tell you turn down and look at me now it's a tricky line man I just think I and look here's the other thing my mom is from Texas and I know that is a mentality that is just a very specific look we played Winn we're not here to get second place take it easy I'm just saying bricky Bobby take it easy that's just like a mentality that I value that mentality and I've discipline I do too but not but back but here's what I don't like it's also I don't know this guy and I know a lot of people think that he's trash but oh no I don't think he's a bad person I don't either I don't know do you not I mean but I if she goes it's my dream in life to be a famous successful cheerleader that she said that to her I did you hear that I didn't hear that from her mouth I heard her putting myself on YouTube at eight years old yeah yeah how to edit and do all the YouTube channel the dad did you don't know that you don't know that kids do kids are very Monica and he's not Monica is the better example of I think you saw a sliver of who he is and we were of course I did we will never know who he is and I'm not like going on here's what I just don't like that when a parents no one was going after the mom by the way people only go after the dad because we want to go like oh he's Creed I went after the mom there are guys who have daughters who are in gymnastics that aren't trying to [ __ ] their own daughters like why like why do we go there I never thought that both the parents were getting so many comments really i sat there overbearing but in order to be the best of what you do you have to have overbearing parents and coaches and excellence doesn't coaches coaches yes lacks a day's achill sloppy as parents I hear you and here's what say if your kid is in that kind of a competitive lifestyle its 24/7 this father has given up his life to drive her because he had nothing else to do he needed to make money off his daughter at eight years old on YouTube how much money was he making offer I'd like to know this I don't know he looked like he had a stack of [ __ ] documents he was making calls to people for some clinic a hundred excuse me a hundred dollars a ticket this guy's working harder than anybody what blood sweat tears trying to make his daughter's dreams come true it brings a tear of my eye how much he gives a [ __ ] and she doesn't even care I'll tell you what that the emo chick wishes she had a dad like that she's at lalala they're [ __ ] shows up and we're yelling at him you know I'm not yelling at him I suppose she'd backed up a little let her be a kid but he's on a documentary and they're like we're here to see how you parent and he's a garden I got a really look like I'm doing [ __ ] like yeah baby he was probably trying to impress the camera people maybe what else should you watch thousand-pound sisters know I know you love that so good what does that mean I don't know I like the newest episode that I felt it was over it was over produced they forced the connector attitudes though they're outlawed pounds thousand-pound sisters one six hundred ones four hundred their fights they're so funny there's their YouTube stars that's a loose term their YouTube stars and they do like you know funny videos and just they're really funny they're outgoing they're obviously 400 pounds one six hundred pounds but you just love them yeah like Route four is that isn't that unhealthy I mean are they okay that's the point to show they're no they're not okay once 600 once 400 I'll make the show fun well why would you want to watch that I mean it because you Ruth know you root for him okay and the ones gonna [ __ ] together yeah if maybe if they had a dad who [ __ ] bottom line they have terrible pain they'd be in shape and maybe that's why they gained weight yeah that's exactly I think you owe their parents are on the show too well the mom was there but it's a [ __ ] I don't know how well they can't be illegal for your child to be 600 pounds well they're adults now they're not like kid kids I'd say me too when they're that big I don't know how do you even move around that's like Gilbert great remember it's exact what is one needs a walker one came and walk the other ones like getting fit a lot of one got approved for surgery the other didn't a lot of times that um is from trauma yeah you get that big because you had some oh that's cool the salt is a child or something and you make yourself big and keep weight on to protect yourself from some kind of abuse yeah you don't get that big without some kind it's fascinating right yeah you root firm I hope it works out what works out of they trying in shape yeah one shapes all relative to trying in some sort of shape they're trying to get Gabby's dad yeah hold it oh you turn you out okay yeah the real hero of Cheers Morgan which one did it all alone oh I love more due to my favorite shout out to such a nice person and yeah it's one to hug she felt unseen and I was like you you do worked so hard the underdog she was the Rudy do I mean the real heroes are the ones with concussions that just got dragged off the last three episodes like what happened to her I was so nervous when they went home boy blew his ankle out and they had to redo the whole thing I was no I know I've seen all of that I'm trying to remember at the very end when they're in Daytona state oh boy literally blows out loud to read you have to redo it I was like oh dear God please make this happen and the fact that they were doing all coverage from cell phones because they couldn't actually get access to that to shoot it I loved that oh you mean wrongness I mean I just think so much more kind of a stress oval yeah I was so stressed I wonder I really do wonder if that is true or if the documentary filmmakers just did that because they knew it would be more cinematic intense no true the fact that they couldn't get actual access you know I didn't realize how big of a deal I mean I usually I've spent so much time in Texas I didn't realize how high the stakes are oh man and I'm fascinated by the fact that their two rivals are like in the same town basically yeah I the end when they show the emo girl just crying staring out to the ocean see xox it's all downhill from here no way I talked about this with a friend of mine on Tex last night she's actually a good artist her art is very good edge my piece no okay I said you good I will and I will and I will buy a Gabby bikini and I bought my Navarro cheer hat I wanted to borrow a shirt you should make them they don't have a shirt from on Etsy can we make Navarro cheer sure it's just red Bobo you're just stealing merge because is that legal oh I don't think Navarro is gonna care I think they're stoked for any of the publicity look at this cuz I got this hat this Navarro cheer hat you don't like it you don't like it I'd like the real legit Navarro chair huh oh it's time to get the website yeah I could have made that killer merge to hit the maliki oops the cell phone so bad do not wear that so bummed but Lexi is doing fine and then what was the other there was one other girl I don't remember I'm taking a photo of you and Frank you have any questions for me I don't think so you can have your dog we really could talk forever why don't you have a dog I don't know you know gachy such a crystally a thing to say I don't know you know well he has some five now for now does he afford yeah he just found one on the street I like little dogs though I like this thing I don't not like them I don't think you like this big Panthers yeah cuz we have coyote wearin coyote holy just big Panther where you going after this what do you mean what are you after the show yeah I'm taking there's a jump castle place it's a jump center it's fun it's a lot of work for Papa though injuries no nothing mm-hmm I remember being in like Amsterdam trying to help you get like a cortisone shot in your hand yeah I'll have in your hand you had a hand injury no my wrist that's right that's right yep they did it it's better now no pain I have zero issues none zero it bent when I jump and try keep up my kid on the trampoline you know trampolines not a joke all those things are dangerous that's big nyah and then there's and there's some cheerleaders in there might be from Navarro not sure but they're doing flips and [ __ ] myself is popular you do that popping I'm like there ain't help I can't do that dude Papa can do so do you like this half-assed cartwheel then realize his dad's not Superman breaks his heart oh no what a disappointment I know so I take classes to do flips you're taking classes to do I'm saying should I to try to impress your child oh yeah no I think it's good to show your kid that if you can't do something you say you can't do it and you don't try and hurt yourself you right I think that's a better example yeah you're right sure you know what I can't do that and that's okay you're right you right you right you ready girl this is fun this is really fun they always want to fight me about anything you know I was nervous no I don't think that was a was that a fight because we basically agreed I just said he needs to it might be the way they cut it and but the stage parents aren't cool because I kids end up hating the sport here's the problem that will end on that we all in on this point this guy's so if this guy's so over this show if you show me the vodka I'm the one that asks him to tell me the time he's good so he has to what [ __ ] Chris D'Elia ramble on about silly Billy for two hours just silly goose she has to watch Chris yours Chris's pockets used to just order post mates and sit there so funny he's the funniest guy in the planet I mean at least before some of the content is happening how about I was gonna ask Chris where he gets us here who cuts his hair and I was he was goes oh geez I go all I got talking about something that's all I was gonna ask him because I would my stylist right now is not working with long hair and then a bunch of other male comms cameras what are you gonna ask him it cuts his hair I think he goes to Supercuts no he would never cut his [ __ ] hair and there was something wrong with it where it always looked wet and I was like is it dirty or is this a gel or like a pomade like when you have long hair there's a lot that goes into Floyd's are used to his room used to be legitimately like a American Girl doll yeah I don't like cut it was long long I have no idea but wait no the thing about the for me I just don't understand where being a good father fineline parent and a stage dad when it starts and when it stopped that's a fine line Hey look I was a competitive athlete yes I know if you know this but when I played AAU basketball the parents would fire the coaches I mean the parents were there all the time every day and half the girls went to [ __ ] Tennessee in UConn and they got scholarships it's what it takes I was like where's my I wish my dad was in here [ __ ] yelling at people I used to watch this girl the dad would French braid her hair like the crazy [ __ ] and make her just like shoot [ __ ] free-throws free throws free throws and she got a scholarship to UConn yeah I agree with you on that I mean I did Karate for 10 years and I used to hate going say howdy I did cry fruit three weeks days a week time bro yeah but I love it I mean nothing I just wanted something to do I mean nothing else to do we would drive four cities away yeah do it great parent I would be miserable but I really have I did it because I taught me not to like quit things great parenting and you know a black belt mm-hmm I used to coach competitions and then I want Gabby to at some point with her agency go you know what dad I'm good she is the one that should say it's her father not the [ __ ] Internet she should just go you know what dad this is too much whatever I can do that I can take it from here she's gonna have to it's better than the other way it's better than being completely absent I agree you know at least he [ __ ] cares I think I think a lot of fathers right now are just like what do you want you want me to be involved you want me to not be involved if I have all time but just don't look at her like a cash cow you know I'm saying like let her rest maybe she's fine she's always exhausting associates talk about tired she is I want to talk about her skin though was just something what is it it's just that skin it's because of all the Tanner it's self tanner I don't know I don't know maybe that some fishes I'd like to ask you about that but a lot of people don't know poached egg Animorphs what's that sponsor you know brought to you a tumor definitely not but let me tell you something self tanner the reason that I don't do self tanner is because it breaks you out spray-tan not Persian so you don't do self tanners all the time because I am an albino but if you have a bi boy I know I know but that was not in for a very long time my alabaster skin is finally in but it wasn't for a very long time everybody's in one leg when you knew me like when we first met I was doing a lot of self tan yeah you were yeah face it it would like rub off on shit's like on my car everywhere but it also really breaks you out I think that's what's happening with her and she's sweating all the time because she's working out and she's makeup on oh that's right she's sweating homework that's what it is any questions about your entire skin lot see real top thick and tough it's just sit good under her skin her fault I'm saying I'm saying like the shoulders and her letting I'm telling you man she's 19 it's probably tanning all the time to wait real tan here you what what is what is the alternative theory that you're not saying might have done a stack of anavar with a steroid that a lot of girls not a legal that I'm sure they test them I don't know oh mama you think they're testing at a Juke for steroids Monica would not allow this it's Monica having that it's a college don't they have to test you know have the money testing some of those steroids we need to improve in bulk Morgan off a little bit we did yeah we need to give the emo chicks up all right until until next time how did you ever like do in your podcast with real things Brendan Schaub org no none I wish Brendan Schaub dot that edu no it's just for what tickets where we going yeah tell me where you're going I don't know when this comes out neither do i what's coming out where it like you're touring touring let's say it's comes out i got a theater run in okay I think in March Chicago Toronto Minneapolis New Orleans Atlanta I'll be early enough I mean some of those that's all in March we're tasting at the trailer end and then April I go to women he's go see Brandon his audience is all growz such a [ __ ] fest just like a hawk fest it's like Dungeons & Dragons convention hmm yeah yeah there's no chicks little bit the whole week the comic store it just bro so came out a good selfie oh my god damn have any girlfriend wild need some girls I know some girls at your show good to get some those are my shows girls tonight's bachelorette parties you're gonna go I look out I just need crowns at my shows like the little Tiaras in trouble everyone's a night that's trouble their night and that turns into [ __ ] [ __ ] Joe all right I love you Brendan Schaub calm no it's not it's tea fat cake um I don't have a Brennan job done what yeah what are they tea fat cake Oh got it okay got it branding but all your tour dates are on your Instagram Twitter I leave Twitter you can check out my Instagram on my wall nothing codes old souls the oldest oldest guy okay I always end these really awkwardly really yeah how do you not have like a sign off what should we do I don't know she would come up with a sign up yeah I have to pee so bad you got a piece of ass this is my buggy memories all mean to me early on no he barked to you the beginning cuz someone threw him out of a car but then he'll be your best friend yeah we're best friends though I'm about to do a big tour also thank you for don't ride elephants and don't go to zoos zoos are bad is that a new thing you got the new things really a lot of them the grill is in pretty Appetit they're on the drugs the girlís my dog Abby [Music] you [Music]

Channel: Whitney Cummings

Views: 432,106

Rating: 4.5028381 out of 5

Keywords: whitney cummings, comedian, standup, female comic, female podcast, good for you podcast, podcast, stand up, brendan schaub, cheer

Id: m-nfVunFQ-w

Length: 132min 1sec (7921 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 13 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/[deleted]]

The idea of listening to 1 second of Whitney Cum-In-Me and Braindumb makes me feel physically sick.

[u/mrteeisrockysbitch]

She’s had may too much work done on her face

[u/bingding_shitshoe]

Im usually all on Sheebs new stuff looking through the podcast episodes for content but this is asking to much b, I don't want to lose awwelll my brain cells

[u/harzee]

Streamable?

[u/ohpee8]

Nah, I'm not convinced they did

[u/nafraf]

.....It took you this long to find out? people in the sub were talking about this back in 2016.