David Spade is the Best Podcast Guest Ever! | Ep 14

[Music] this is fucking tricked out what do you think this is I thought it was some bullshit what you thought I was on some bullshit I thought it was some bullshit yeah um I'm trying to think this is beautiful I wear blue and you got a blue background yeah you look fucking great I can look I get about one day a week right you all right um are everyone's phones off except Spades keep on I oh don't worry your fucking internet cut off about six miles ago I was locked out front for two hours going I cannot believe that he was out there for 15 minutes you guys I went out there and he'd already like befriending your neighbor goes he might she might be in that old podcast room or whatever they do over there I go exactly the more whatever they do part this is an oldfashioned hor Saloon over there I am really try to avoid my neighbors I now that you've gotten intimate with no he was nice he just said I'll have my my son repel over and cuz I was buzzing the gate I like like I go I don't know what's going on I think she should be here and he goes are you Dave space Oh did he oh no I don't care he goes what are you here for the podcast I go booty call whatever you want to call the kids don't like me because this house uh it was between me and kid Cy and the son wanted kid Cy and he's so bummed that I got the house shit oh I'm bummed they even said to me I could have been on hi podcast yeah they were like he really wanted kid py to move in next door and you got it and I was like I'm so sorry for the people at home they don't know this is a huge lot a huge lot it's a beautiful huge corner lot it's like a it's a culd it's the the culdesac of a culdesac really I do have to put the headphones on because I what I think it's funny because I asked you I go do we wear the headphones and you're like people don't wear headphones I didn't know I thought we took calls I thought we were like a radio show no I think that I no the guests that do podcasts usually don't wear them Rogan's the only person that wears them that's where I get thrown when I see these I think deia does too maybe does Chris wear them well that's to cover his receding hair your hair looks good today isn't it thank you I did it for you a little mad that you cut it but I like it it looks good you don't you think I look worse no you don't look worse you're very pretty and you have great hair thank you I um remember when I told you you were pretty on the show yeah that was nice of you no jokes just tell I couldn't tell I couldn't tell no everyone all my friends like you I just went with my realer I looked at the house in the way out here really and uh are you moving I don't know but my I think you should good old steuart veter over at U Hilton Highland he's my guy but he's been showing me for two years and I keep kicking tires I'm the worst oh I looked at houses for I want to say three and a half years and it's so I found this place um that's so funny you just said that because that doing a a real estate a local real estate reference I think the first time I was like I love him is when you were on Howard this was ages ago and you made a reference to Z Gallery I love it which which how many people are going to get that joke it's funny now talk show I go where' you get oh yeah I go how where' you get this couch Z Gallery I mean nobody gets that joke I I I love a 1center I love it cuz you get it you know what's I get it was for me and I drove up here um people don't know that Whitney lives out sort of in the middle oh coyote Central I see it on your R far away well I actually thought it was farther what is trt mean over there we've only been on two minutes total running time no we haven't started yet why haven't we started I mean what does this feel like hot content it's great what it's not going to get any better than this shit what are we gonna do we got to do games and shit I'm not on Kelly Clark um uh do you know when we met David does this count is talking God damn this is like when I did norms and he goes I go we on he goes I don't know I go then he goes all right it's over no I had to I had to wrap myself on Norms oh was that Norm's Netflix show Norm McDonald's Netflix podcast show whatever I loved that show it made me laugh so hard and made me so uncomfortable that's what it was and so I was like is this a rough cut like that's what it was I feel like they put they forgot they put the wrong version on uh I I I agree that that's that was sort of the idea and it turned out like that because I even said I can't do that long like let's just milk me get out cuz I heard Chevy Chase did 3 hours I go no fucking chance I'm not even interesting for six minutes I disagree you don't do a lot of podcast though you're too famous for this shit I don't know if it's too famous I think it's uh you just feel raped no I mean no but you know what I mean you feel like time's up on people asking you to Doc so many stories in me and then I feel like I'm getting boring cuz you just it it's sort of The Comedy Store is a lot of a lot of people do podcasts they've been doing for years and there's more lately and I'm sure I'll do one it's not there's nothing negative against it it's just you probably feel bad because now you have one and you've you're a great guest so when you go on stuff some people probably say Hey you want do mind but it can vary from a a nice one like this or Delia those guys have great ones down to some guys go hey I'm in Al hammer in my mom's laundry room and she'll be drwing boots that day but you know we can cut the noise out later and and I go I go to NRA you know I I don't even know how it works I go oh wait you come to me they go ideally you drived me even Mark Maron that was that's in the middle of the sticks too but yeah but east side it's a great one and we had a great once you do get there and do it it was a great time I liked you on Mark Maron I had never heard it and I liked it because it seemed like you guys didn't know each other that well we don't and he do you hear me he said he didn't really like me yes in the beginning and I didn't mind that because I go at least he's just being straight up in well he's probably I think he admittedly was like projecting because you like did well with women oh I mean that sort of trips me up but I was like why and then they go Ryan SEC is going out with Julian HF I'm like what a dick immediately I get mad so I go oh is that kind of what people I so I I see what that was and I was just thinking Heather loair lives even farther than you out here really so when we went out it was a hike wow okay she Thousand Oaks that's very far yeah so that was like at 5:00 you want to buzz out I'm like or I could wait for traffic totally forgot you guys dated how long did that go on I don't know about a year maybe is it weird to date someone that you've was famous be you know what I mean like that one was a little different because and first of all I'm only talking about it because everyone just figured it out after a while but during it I didn't want to say anything but now everyone sort of put it together and she doesn't care at all so but it I grew you know not grew up on her we're we're probably the same age I don't know fuck you no she and I not me oh I was no no no you I she you're way younger you could be my daughter but but Heather and I were about the same and then of course I grew up you you're too young but she was like on posters and she was on these shows and I was obsessed with her obsessed every all my friends obsessed and so she got and then she did SNL when I was there and I was a writer but I didn't have anything to do on that show can we start over sorry um I didn't I need to I need to open Crocs I need to open my can of of S water waiting so she holds it way low I'm doing it as a rim shot I'm waiting for you to do a joke so I go so she comes on SNL everyone does bits but I'm not really anything with her and then later I ran into her and she said I remember you from SNL and and then she she she was anyway they they were uh we we we met and she said let's hang out as friends so we hung out but she her marriage was going immediately had a horrible turn of all these events so we just hung out for a while and then we kind of dated after that but it was it was I was right there being friends with her while the whole thing collapsed and I shouldn't even talk about that but is it hard for is it hard for someone to when you're dating someone famous to stop thinking them as famous does it ever do they ever stop well you just get constantly reminded because wherever we go everyone knows her but she was the typical things that are fun she's upbeat she's funny she's doesn't take herself seriously she's something I like that you said once I think it was on Howard there's no good way to break up with someone was this recently yeah there's no I was just because I've been on both sides of it obviously and in high school I was getting dumped right and left and then I'm always trying if if it's me to ramp it down like this sounds so horrible but believe me it's them doing it to me 98% of the time but when that I do it I would say hey and then they go well we need to talk in person I'm like uhuh because no you don't you actually don't NOP nope you don't because all it is is an awkward conversation block block delete unfollow move on and Report there's no people you that like we're breaking up we're going to like go talk in person and get closure it never goes well it always drags out there's no good way to do it you're the you you get it I don't know why you get it but you do and it's well it's I want to break up with you now the negotiating starts right because I've been talked back into dating me too I've stay years I tell you what two more months and I'm like H you mean we do this by the way when do people do it to me I get so weird out I go okay like I I'm like oh you don't like me anymore like what am I doing here like why would I talk you into with this isn't pilot season and I've tried to talk to them in picking up my pilot I'm like listen it's a little rough right now but I can do some easy tweaks recasting recutting go maybe recasting we couldn't license that music and that's what's tough so but when I've been dumped I went over with the girl for probably a year and a half then they go I saw her this week and she was making out another guy and I go oh someone said that to you yeah and I go are you shitting me and I go and I and I hit her up she didn't answer she didn't answer and then she finally call back she's like what and I go oh I was just I heard this stupid thing like you were making up some guy to a party and you said he was your boyfriend she goes are you going to get all weird about this and I just go nope and then that was it and we hung up and I was like oh and then we didn't talk for months and I and of course it killed me inside but I go what do I say to her when I call her nothing to say and I probably did back then go can we just talk but my side is I want to talk back in well all that's ego it's all ego and it's trying to manage the pain it's trying to stop the bleeding it's trying to just change the end of the story oh and it was so gross because the fact that she was so grossed out by me texting her or calling after that I'm like I'm the great guy from a week remember like you were so into it and now you're like how old was this person um well I was I'm sure by the way I definitely probably did that when I was young you know what I mean of course I was like I just expect everyone to read my mind and I'm like oh no we broke up in my head like a week ago well that's the hard part but but I would get the most Curt the point was I get the most Curt endings of like a quick text if if they're going to be that friendly about it m hey it's not working for me what's not working and then nothing and then you're like I love you said this he did it over text if you do it over the phone he did it over the phone if he doesn't he fucking did it in person there's just and then in person they go he fucking broke up you should have just on the phone you made me drive all the way over here in person it's all bad if you stick to your guns and if you say it's even when you say like no to a project or something and they go can I call you and then it's the horrible call because you're trying to hang up still saying no their whole call is going to get you to say yes and it's so it's pointless you go why I here's my answer at least understand that but no one will let you say no and if you say no to something we were talking about this the other day if you say no to something now you then owe them a favor down the line I can't do it okay we'll Circle back I go no or they're like can you do this charity show you know what I can I'm on tour and then a month later hey so can you help me find someone for the charity show it's like no I don't now oh yeah work for you because I wasn't able to do it yeah I I you know we all get caught in those things and I'm I ask favors and I'm get asked favors I'm on both sides of it it's always weird so it's just a tough thing I don't know do you remember how we met let's look at a clip I don't I don't either but I do remember the no I do I think tell me if this is true at Tower and there was a party at Tower bar and you had done your show and you came in I said I think that's Whitney Cummings and then I said hi to you or something huh does that make any sense I was in a total blackout during that time completely unconscious consumed with fear probably Pro that tracks but I remember the first time we talked on the phone and I don't know why yeah we spoke on the phone for 45 minutes one time this was when I think your show uh you weren't sure if it was coming back or not and mine I wasn't sure if it was coming back or not and you called me and we talked about it about it and you said something that kind of changed my life you said bad news travels slow oh yeah that's true I had never heard that before because we were like waiting around to hear and you're like if we haven't heard the answer is probably no it's very true about a lot of stuff and you said like when the ratings are good everyone wants to call you and be the first person to give you the good news and if you don't hear about the ratings right away they're not good that's the thing it's gross and that and they and they all want to be the one connect Ed with telling you good news always so they call the best phone calls are when they go okay David we've got uh geritz Adam venet and Brad gray on the line and I was like this is good news because they all want to go hey we did it right but if it's bad news they're all in IMM trading trading trading just got in the car going over the someone has to give it to you that it didn't something didn't work I don't know that is tough I uh that's it it's tough Biz you I feel like I look at your all the time and I like I can't believe how nice you are to people well that weird uh yeah and I think even George seagull when I used to do that just shoot me show which by the way can you imagine a show being called just shoot me right now in this climate just yeah I can't even I can't even joke once no you yeah uh George uh said the number one question he got was he seems like an asshole is he an asshole in real in real life cuz I think on the show I play like super smartass and all that yeah but he says surprisingly he's not that bad and uh I do think that I think you're one of the nicest people in comedy I think well I'm nice to you I like you and we get along but I'm pretty nice we're real friends I we're real friends well I wouldn't I would try not to do this kind of thing if we weren't but I do crack up at you and you always by the way you're very uh reliable when you do my show which is only a new part of our friendship it's fun to see at the store it's fun to see out but you're very there's a lot of com very flaky and you're sort of in a different world and you're in a different head space and you're if you say you're doing something you do it and you're good and you show up but that but doing my show is just recent but I've known you for a long time before that and you've always been solid person but I know that it's always it's such a nightmare doing a show like that because you're booking what five times 15 Comics a week you have enough to worry about people canceling last minute it's just like so I never want to be that for someone cuz I've been on the other side of it and it's the worst yeah and you're not and if if you do you're professional about it but sometimes we get calls at noon oh you can't come like is this the fucking improv like are you canceling your spot tonight it's different if it's a whole TV show and everything's based on you and we might have a bit for you or questions just for you whatever so we do deal with that but I would I I don't like it I mean unless it's something legit I don't like to hear that do you like doing the show um I do like doing the show it's it's harder than I thought and I really you've done so many yeah I it's better than the first time I did a Comedy Central show the show biz show it was once a week and it's just too hard to get momentum for me once a week it's also a hit oh the show yeah yeah the show is good well it helps that it's it's four in a row and then there's momentum it's like you see another one you see another one you see a clip of it and like cut through the Clutter that's right it's like broken down into little memes and and Meme and then you go they have a little YouTube bit and they have this and you know you have to be on Comedy Central to get a app to watch it and you can go on the the website but each each company you work with or each channel has their own way to do it and I wish it was a little easier for people just go on YouTube watch the whole thing or the next day you can watch on Comedy Central I think for free on their website but it's just most people peace meal it to be honest like I uh you know I ran it to Ted you know Ted from um Netflix Ted who runs Netflix and he and he was he sometimes will text or say something nice about the show and it was very flattering that he was going remember that week you were sick every show was good even though you you could tell your voice is bad and you tell and I was like you've seen you actually watching shows when you have 85 shows in production he goes yeah it's on before bed and blah so and also and this is so smart that there's no politics in the show yeah every loves it is the thing that sort of hooked people in or let's more people come on even when we have people that are political like you can have a side that's political but people leave it at the door they come in they go oh and if they're good they go oh I can be funny and just be funny like I always you know like are you ever in the writer's room and a political joke comes up and you're like oh it's such a good joke but we can't do it of course I wish we could get by with uh and then when the impeachment came up there's so many jokes and it's the thing everyone's thinking of and you just we do a whole show without it doesn't even mention and we're like the only show that doesn't even act like it's not even happening but sometimes someone says I'm political oh you said something last week and I go Whitney Whitney did I Teeter and apolog you teetered over to Trump or something but it's just even funny me saying Whitney just it looks more real yeah yeah yeah no it's true we try to keep in stuff I like you make it very conversational and uh really fun and it's it's interesting because it's just it's so hard to cut through the Clutter right now it's weird how it it is hard and it's still it'll be hard but you know I am a white guy and uh I don't think anyone's pulling for the white guy like I'm old rich white it's like every fucking horrible thing going against me yes and I should be like this shit kicked out of me I mean I'm just short of apologizing it's like I like it's s everyone's like did you do your apology and I'm like I don't think I'm going to do one I'm just this is how I was born I I'm just trying to struggle through so what I'm saying is I don't think you can write an article like Aquafina has a show yeah and she's very funny she sort of discovered in a weird way where put her in something she was great and then she getss a show and funny funny she's great at it and I've heard a very sweet person but it's easier to write if you're a writer to say this is a great show to watch because it is important yeah getting a break for her she has an Asian cast she has writers you know it was like when Schumer then it's women this is a important show for women to watch we are writing it we're doing women's issues right um if it's Chris Rock putting together something it's like this is but if you're just a white guy you're quietly going just watch I'm not even we're not saying anything just I'm just doing straight jokes about just anything stupid because there's I have nothing important to say which is very true I don't and I don't have an opinion I don't I I mean look I know you you're a fascinating person like I love talking to you about stuff that you don't talk about on TV but I do think there's just something refreshing about a comedian not telling you how to vote right it's just something refreshing about an actress not telling you uh what you should think about politics you know it's odd because I get why people do it and I think people say oh you're not brave enough to get on Instagram and tell I said I just it's a personal choice I also um if I have a health issue I don't have to get on impro Instagram and tell everyone I mean there's personal things politics might be personal to people yeah your health is personal but you decide you want to talk about talk about you're also going to get some flak there's this new thing now that where people are like you need to use your platform in a certain way and it's like hold on I feel like the best service we can maybe do at this point is give people a break from that shit and not I don't love you know is read all day yeah it's exhausting and um I don't know I think that sometimes the best thing way a lot of people in Hollywood can use their platform right now is not make the left look like a bunch of idiots that are on CW shows and think they know everything about politics what qualifies I'll say something if I'm educated on it I just am not educated enough right it's bad enough me trying to push tummy tea like God you want to look like me they're like no who does I'm like oh you're like well but I I I agree that it it everyone has opinions and I don't mind when people do it if it's jammed in my throat it's hard yeah to mute people or you feel horrible when you go I just got to jump off for a while because I can't read it every day but it's it's each person's decision I think people don't want it from me and I don't really want to do it you also don't go after celebrities in a way that's super mean I don't and we made a conscious effort on the show to I would kill a lot of jokes and it it takes a lot of training in the writers room some of them are roast writers and right they're going for the jugular but I said listen if we're going to have any duration here and we're going to stay on for a while we've got to tone it down and just keep it clever like if something happens with someone I think we get a freebie yeah but we can't just keep hammering for the sake of hammering and it gets too mean and uh uh I don't want to do that I want to keep it and clever and I make fun of myself too but we have jokes like we had one the other day that I thought was a little rough but it made me laugh it was it was Weinstein trial the funny things are like Weinstein and people you can joke about and no one can really get mad at those are the safe on right right our C or something totally so we just take goofy pot shots but it was you know he brings his walker in yeah and I said they said his lawyers think this is just like the Fast and the Furious franchise it's always easier to watch with a walker you know or something like a great joke I think it's great yeah put it in yeah put it in so I did it but there's some I pulled back I did one about Brad and Jen that's very dicey very dicey because she's your we're friends friends with Jen which sounds weird to say but friendly with Jen friends with Jen friendly oh you got smart water where's our fucking monitor look at it now we oh do you want to see yourself no but I'm turning around you look very good where you going bye it's going like this okay see so oh yeah Brad I should do that you should do it and open it up I just want you see I don't know Brad Pit though so Brad is dear friend and um Brad Brad can deal with me if I see him can you guys hear I think you're okay so I've seen Brad mostly because we have the same management oh that's right it doesn't he kind of own your manag no we're moving up so that you're Brad is with brillstein and uh so I've seen him over the years at things and he did a bit for me on SNL a long time time ago which was nice cuz he doesn't do SNL a lot but he did one bit you know he seems very chill very chill we sound stup stupid talking about someone like Brad Pit but just to give him his props very chill always friendly always friendly to people that come up to him yeah for being that Superstar status yeah I get nervous talking to him I don't even know what to say to the fucking guy right uh but he's very cool and um and his speeches lately he's been very funny and I like shows that side he's lighter again because I think when it comir Jen and that Angelina thing it's just so like people get so fucking into it and it's the only teams women have yeah that's true they don't have football superow we don't get Cowboys Redskins we get Angelina it's like we have to pick a side yeah and it's it's funny CU Brad wasn't I don't think allowed to be happy for a long time like he can't show it yeah people love with Jen yeah they loved Jen and then the angelene thing was of course let the guy do it you know but when it's funny CU When Jen's involved she's so beloved is there a more beloved person it's unreal and then Jen Sandra Bullock she's so nice anyway and Sandra Bullock so they that I get it and I you have to be a a dancer on jokes on them because I think they understand they're part of the mix but I am going to give them a break I'm not going to go hard after them oh I said Brad and Jen were even saying it I get scared go don't worry I don't think she's I everyone was excited cuz Brad and Jen were backstage chatting uh uh Sparks were flying when they were talking backstage I said also Sparks were flying at Angelina's house when she threw rocks at her TV and people would like fuck you Angelina why would you ever say she's a goddess and I was like I'm not trying to get and believe me and they went bananas by the way she wasn't watching she I said Sudan Pax isn't she's fine uh Shiloh's not nope none of them the ones they haven't named yet aren't they're all no named TBD she's directing a World War I movie Somewhere in Slovenia she's pitching a depressing movie to Netflix I have a this is just celebrity go I have I was at one of those Golden Globes parties once yeah this is a spade episode uh and you know like Sunset Tower where we met at that hotel and Angelina Jolie was there and no one was talking to her I swear to God I was at the maybe the same one she was out outside that door sitting no one was talking to her and I didn't know what to do I almost went and talked to her and she it looked like she wanted to socialize I think she's just so intimidating and and no one really knew how to well for guys it looks like you're hitting on her that's why I didn't just to go say hi I've seen her at an old gym I used to go to and she would say she was sweet I I have to put this in when I ran into her briefly in the old days very sweet and I I even couldn't go up and say anything to her because I thought oh here comes well you could cuz you could just say hey I just if you're a fan hey people say we look alike we should beautiful play sisters I we should what's grosser I'm going to give you a question what's grosser okay it's hard for me as a guy okay to like I've never asked Brad Pit for his number I've never asked almost any male celebrity I mean for their number a guy asking a guy for number is weird no the way you have to do it is to just go oh dude put your number in I'll send you that thing oh I do that I couldn't I'm so sicken in case they go uh and I'll be like oh my God they just paused and cuz he's not on Instagram either well Brad I mean I would I wouldn't that but but someone like anyone I would meet I feel like I feel dumb how does a guy do it so I'm a guy you want to be friends with what do you do we should hang out man oh my God I'm scared I would go uh meanwhile every fucking asshole asked me for my on the street hey Spade I go dude I do a bunch of fucking producing shit I got 310 what is it I'm like what wait what's going on like it's so fast that I don't even know and I go I say it and they go let me call it right here I'm calling right in front of you it's not ringing I go it's on silent and then I get scared and I go here's the real and I give the real one I walk away spinning going strangers yeah but what just happened like I told one guy no and he's like huh and I go I got all weirded out because I go I can't give you my fucking but I can't say that people really feel like they're friends with you I've seen the way people approach you and it is alarming well that I I I've been out with guys that are like celeb types and they always are intimidated by them and they're not intimidated by me they go sper no people think you guys are friends and they're they're doing you a favor by saying hi you want to see them I think it's because what is that because I think part of it is cuz you're standup yeah and part of it because I play like a screw off fraternity fun guy jod dirt guy so but I also think it's more approachable your the movies that you make and I did like a ask Spade questions on my Instagram okay the people that watch your movies watch them over and over and over again like I just have saw jo2 times like they're like I think they think they have spent time with you I agree I mean I feel do you ever see doesn't feel safe celeb types where you think you know them and you don't know if you've met them like I like if I see Sandra Brooks some I go I have I met I don't know same Coffee Bean or I think I know him that they're a star but I don't know if I've ever met him anywhere right so I just go fuck it but a lot of them give you celebrity courtesy where they will just say hi and they don't make you go through a whole stress thing like I I don't even know if I met you before and they go oh hey they're usually pretty nice yes no I'm sure you know what I'm saying they don't I get a lot of career advice put you through the shit oh they do they or people are like astounded that I'm not in certain things like people be like how come you're not Wonder Woman how come not I'm like I'm just I I didn't return the call I just was B I got busy that's you make more money turning down things and then you have to and then you have to explain to them while you're not as successful you are yeah what happened to your show why isn't your show on it's all why aren't you nominated for the golden know and then I have to go well because they don't want me to be like I don't know like there's no way to say it but it's so kind because it's obviously someone they mean something nice believes in you so much uh and you then have to explain to them why you're not as successful I also get um I I have this theory that the Third thing someone says to you is always an insult because it's their honest reaction to seeing you oh good people people be like um I love you such a big fan you're so much bigger in person In fairness you are yeah I mean you're huge uh or I love you I loved your last special you look pretty young actually like what like just so I have to get after the second thing I just have to walk away what's what's what do you want to hear as a girl cuz this happened at work the other day you tell me this is rude I didn't say it but me and my guy friends who are all dumb were debating that he said to the girl you look prettier in real life great question just I just what's the what are you trying to get is it flirting it sounds like a FLIR it's probably a FL flirting go for it um but that means every if someone said to me I think every other time which every the world sees me under it's bad but one at a time I'm good that's sort of what you're saying people say that to me all the time you're so much prettier in person I'm like well the thing that matters i' I'd way rather look better with all the lighting and makeup and whatever I I don't I think when people say that a lot of times they're panicking or um they want to say you're pretty that's right they're just trying to say you're pretty and they don't know how cuz it's weird to go you're pretty that's a weird thing to say but also uh it makes me think of which really annoys me when guys say you're so much prettier without makeup yeah that that's what annoys that really is that a bad one that's it's just first of all well I'm sure I've said that as not if it's professional makeup only if I did it myself number one and then why are all your favorite porn stars wearing clown makeup it confuses us cuz it's sort of like I'm Different I tell girl I go you you got another layer in you get back but you also don't know what makeup is so you I don't know even what's happening when girls go what about when they're on Instagram they go makeup free and you're like I have girls go let me see that I know filters and mascara and she's not totally and Bas or something and you go it's a fucking lie I love the remember one time we were talking about a girl you were dating and you're like she came out in like a teddy is that old is that old no I'm sure it was a night gown um a [Music] [Applause] teddy getting num getting num boy most guys have tried different ways to last longer lots of very weird ways is my guess but saying the Pledge of Allegiance in your head or counting backwards from 10 does not always work countdown sometimes Blast Off the folks at Roman a men's health company are changing the game with Roman swipes the secret to longer lasting sexuals have that long sex Roman swipes are clinically proven as a way to last longer in bed they're effective they're easy to use fast acting but don't require a prescription this is a genius invention I I really wish I had thought of this we'd be so rich Roman ship swipes to into discret unmarked packaging each packet small enough to hide in your wallet for whenever you need it uh swipes will not transfer to your partner that's pretty genius uh easy to use take swipes out of the packet swipe it on let it dry good to go have that all not sexuals uh get $10 off your first order of swipes and free two-day shipping at getroman.com Whitney that's getroman.com Whitney $10 off and 10 hour sex free two-day shipping getroman.com Whitney get thrustin could you imagine if they last 10 hours ah skillshare does skillshare make a video to teach podcast hosts how to read ads they will after this this is the fourth time I've read my skillshare ad it's time to explore new skills deep and existing passions get lost in creativity with skill shares online classes it's an online learning community where Millions come together they take next step in their creative Journey thousands of inspiring classes for creative and curious people topics like illustration design photography video freelancing more more is my favorite one more is the best one I took the productivity Master Class taught me how to like schedule my time manage my time working longer is not always working harder true and the next one is I want to do a design one a fashion design class because I want to make better merchandise for our show they deserve it you you know don't you think cuz I suck at font and picking colors I don't know like italics yeah that'd be a great class to just refine your taste a little bit yeah and I want to learn photography too because my Instagram photos suck skillshare is a proud sponsor of good for you explore your creativity at skillshare.com good you get two free months of Premium membership that's two whole months of unlimited access to thousands of classes for free get started and join today by heading to skillshare.com goody you skillshare.com good for you is a night gown older than a t i love things that guys call women's things like what's the thing that goes on your eyelids what's that I mascara the top part the really top part is ey Shadow yes and what about this over the lid the pencil magic marker I don't know and what's this with a brush a brush a br uh base brush isn't it it's a but a thing that's Rouge is Rouge something still is Rouge gone yeah like in like the early 40s but how do you get the red circles on your cheeks two things and then what's this a pencil that lipstick oh lip edger lip Edge Edge lipstick no there's a pencil pencil lip pencil lip liner we on password no I don't know I and then what's the shiny stuff you put on top that's lip gloss yes that's lip gloss yes Bonny Bell you still around lip smackers lip smackers yes those were stocking stuffers those were a hot stocking bub yum I keep looking at the TV like I'm on it I go like this I know we can pull it up we can we can Google but I guess the camera's there this is pretty professional I swear to God I thought it would be more what did you think it was going to be what do you think was happening ratty like a pup tent to crawl in and it's that's your hook it's like we're the camping show no um even though I did pass this house and I and I said oh if you've gone to the Australian white wildfires you've gone too far folks it's far what do you um buy uh the girls that you love for Valentine's Day no Valentine's Day is tricky what are you going to do I don't like it because I feel like it's a scam just give them the watch you're wearing this is a good watch I know I'm looking at it you know is that your thing is that what you spend money on I only have one good watch I feel like you don't spend money I'm a little Scrooge you are you are and I think people wonder if I'm rich or not I looked up your net worth oh Jesus but I I know that's usually off I mean you're not I think they usually do that with shoveling everything in a pile and not doing taxes or that you live that agents and managers and stuff like that that or that you've paid for anything in your life I love celebrity Networth like pullup celebrity networth.com I love guessing people's Networth a good one you can do a high L like uh let me throw you one um uh Daisy Fuentes oh fuck who can be the hardest one first Daisy Fuentes remember Daisy Fuentes she was a a host on MTV very nice girl um Daisy fent back in the idal days what's your guess wait does she have a clothing lineer a trick she does godamn she does she's got like a Kmart I just it's exercise line 14 I'm to say 14 million 18 go this is fucked I'm scared I'm going to it what wait where is it 300 million what get fucked not a no it say 75 million no down here the second one what the fuck went from MTV to 300 million what is she Jessica Simpson what if I just took she just what we're the assholes I'm going to go work for her I love where lowballing Cy FES damn I thought I was going high 75 million she's got exercise clothes you wear her collection no I'm not I'm going to the golden glowes launch a clothing line hey girl I'll do sponsored content for Daisy Fuentes spandex sports bras you know what your line should be called hey girl hey girl hey guys hey guys guys guys hey you guys um all right let's do another one uh I have a serious subject by the way oh no we'll do this next one first give me somebody good um Ryan C Crest uh okay shit GNA be high uh he produces the cardashian okay give me another one Sinbad fuck you Sinbad is good jokes you you have underwear so it's just a rubber band okay um Sinbad I did a gig with and by the way just while while the Google is you know Computing yeah it takes it a while you dialog uh I did a corporate and he was opening for me in a strange series of events and I go oh no you're going first and I know he's good I go oh no this is going to suck and he goes yeah and he went out and I go what kind of company is this and he's like it's Tre you know it's like orc or something yeah and I go uh oh yeah I go I'm going to go and go oring you know don't bug me and then I'll just go hey dogs are funny I'll go right into my act you know but they like you to incorporate the company you know I don't you know they're like hey Jim's are VP he's got three balls and beats his wife working it and then you say it in one guy laughs in the back and everyone else goes what the fuck mom dying of cancer bring it up say something no he thinks it's funny yeah and then so Sinbad goes up and car rushes for a solid half hour and everyone's like and he's like this oh him over there you know after he's using the microwave he did he like studied the company and he gets off and I'm like God damn it I walk out there and they're like fuck there's someone else I thought he was the main guy and then I'm like he everybody like I'm all cool and they're like Bo you know they just they weren't bad but they were not good and they just sort of struggled through me and I was like I just walked out there Delirious going fucking Sinbad killed killed that also happened once I was doing this event at uh the uh David Lynch Foundation it's a it was a chair it's a charity for meditation something and are you cold no I'm Co I'm sweating look at you in your bomber jacket wait is that new 12 Grand what did you ask me is that new it fits good look at is that new because I told a producer on your show that you should be wearing bomber jackets on the show we had a very long conversation about it yes you told Tom and Brad or you told no I told Adam one of your producers on yes because on your show I was fucking looking you're always in like a ski jacket you're always in like a mo oh I am in a in you're like a North Face ski jacket you look like a Normcore Silicon Valley billionaire on vacation and like a rapper in a video but go ahead correct correct okay SB sounds mean if I go low why no I think okay but he had a 12 million final answer okay what's yours uh 15 700 million what if he invented something 15 million oh 4 million this is not fun by the way 4 million is a lot no no I know God damn no this is we should keep doing super high ones cuz we look like assholes uh 4 million if you had 4 million you jump off a bridge if I had your money I'd throw mine away I don't I don't by the way Stacy foot is single wait hold on I have another hold on I have a couple I have a couple more I want to know and the people you guys better be guessing that's listening Stacy key does she still have the tree house what's the tree house for the elves Dum Dum oh oh God damn stay close um all right I can't keep up I can't keep up I can't you're always joking keep up with you uh Stacy C with oh okay well what was she on she was on dancing with star she's a wrestler then she was dancing with stars and an actress I don't know anything about wrestling money I I think she's married to a very rich guy cuz I know they bought a house that's right that post Clooney so what do I say that after the they after a woman breaks up with Clooney she gets married within 6 months within seconds I know it's it's the only way out because you can't yeah you can't come back what can you do okay what's your guess I'm going to say I does she have a line she have a tanning line or a hair exens L Rings Benton doesn't even know who this is do you know who she is no Benton is Young and knows YouTubers and stuff I know he's like finger on the David dubkin I just I might do a collab with him Casey k no Casey KAS is not worth that much anymore okay casy ke are you are you quietly writing your down you know you wrote just shoot me is that how it I just wrote it because I was going to ask about it that's that's exactly the font on the script it's true actually you know what I mean I just look like I just wrot shoot me down and it looks like the font from the logo yeah no a lot of people on Instagram have questions about stuff and okay we'll get we'll get there right after this Stacy CLE I'm gonna say because she's tied in him now 40 million 21 I don't know who he is 4.5 this must be before they got married yes and by way sorry for those of you not watching 4.5 million for Stacy ke she's done well for herself oh there's another one 25 million for her what the fuck he are wrong I think celebrity networth.com that's the one I go to that's the one that I what about the guy Richard Simmons what do you guess so horrible why 26 million 30 he had tapes he had videos he 26 is a lot of fucking money folks I know 32 million Richard Simmons my final answer 15 million fuck he should have more than that he got robbed he's been robbed how about this give me one of your YouTubers like he had a bad deal I don't know why you think I know about all the YouTubers you do Taran what are you on Tik Tok right now are we on Tik Tok D Trisha pis that he's obsessed okay Trisha Trisha pis uh probably has more money than all of us combined Trisha pis what is she she's a YouTube Star she eats on camera and she breaks down uh and does she have a brand nope does she have a music career for YouTube so ads and and how much are okay but she's getting lots of hits on her YouTube uh is she also a pretty model type on top of everything else yes yes yeah I got a tummy teaa pis uh so Patricia pis net worth I'm going to guess this girl watches our show 5 million oh yeah she loves you is that I think that's true I think I've got DM yeah yeah oh okay so let's being nice I'm going to guess Four 3 five 66 YouTube ad money 8 million more money than Stacy kees I know but you don't know I don't know if and now that one switch it to four oh I like this game everyone's rich though I everyone's everyone's getting rich F if what if it said like 20 grand I well no I mean Logan Paul is what's Logan Paul you do Jeffree Star do Jeffree Star net worth cuz that one's Los what is it insane cuz he's got makeup lines he's got the he owns no he owns Rouge companies he makes Rouge for the internet Stars great is my Wi-Fi not working how come this taking so long no I'm waiting for it oh I don't even know this person so I'm going to say uh Jeffree Star Jeffree Star has what 50 million justang Instagram and YouTube he's like he's also like famous famous now I haven't made one fucking penny from Instagram really you don't do weren't we supposed to do a branded content we are doing it now we're doing a branded content deal together you're not doing that I we are doing it now we are you and I yeah it just came up again are you do you say no to that stuff I've I've always said no I'm not I'm going to do it with you though I'll do we're going to do it together we're to make some cash together we're the new sunny and share yeah I'll do with you we'll talk about it after do you what do why do you say no to certain things I think the average person average person I just mean that as like people that watch us like do you guys think it's corny oh right we we should ask your people because because I I've never done one so I don't need I just think people think I would be full of shit if I did I don't they always go oh you need money I go I me yeah yes I mean when do you stop going like yeah I mean when he's Google my net worth I got to make sure when someone goes out with me they Google my net worth if they do which is horrifying I didn't know that could happen on like oh boy if that Happ yes oh your net worth is very high I Googled it before you came I don't okay Jeffree Star net worth I'm going to say 22 Millie okay Benton is saying up 311 no shut the fuck up he's got like MAC Cosmetic deals he's got his own cosmetic line yeah up up 40 million up in the hundreds shut up and add money from YouTube and and and every just hotels merch he got a hotel he owns all kinds of real estate he talks very openly about it okay all kind of what uh real estate Benton um is from the south real estate uh he's very fancy okay I'm going to say 40 I'm going to say 553 60 all right this is now a game show 200 million you knew that or you didn't know no he knew that Benton knew him and I and Networth Benton was trying to help us guys you're fucking I didn't believe I like someone I've never heard of as that's how out of it I am that thought you were exaggerating you should have I mean I don't know does Jeffrey show ever go on TV shows no we should do a seg show where we try to become famous uh makeup tutorial he just doesn't did makeup tutorials on YouTube I'm going to do makeup tutorials on makeup people that do Tut that's a good idea tutorials put Rouge on them here's the Rouge base what was the um serious thing you want to bring up oh no I was saying my daughter has a uh father son dance coming up a what a father father da Dan my daughter is I just thought of Sundance yeah I know what's Sundance Festival what's happening um do you need some sugar I shouldn't even talk about this but I but we can cut anything a father daughter dance and I think even though I'm so old school nothing bothers me but I think a fatherdaughter dance is Antiquated and I don't like I think it's weird I don't like it and as in you go to the school and dance with her yes and take her and I don't live there and so as other dads dancing with their daughters on like on some shirely Temple shit it makes someone feel bad because I'm not there I don't live in the same state yeah so I have to try to fly in and figure out work and it's always been a problem have you gone before I haven't gone before it's only been for about well probably the last 5 years and so this year I was about to do it and then something came up again but I can't get out of it and so I always say I can't go and then I want to surprise but I can't and so I just said and then I thought why are they even doing these anymore yeah make her feel bad every year sounds like there's going to be kids whose fathers are sick divor or anything and then but every year I have to grind it in yeah and I'm that about dancing with your daughter huh grind it in I'm not we're not going to be grinding but what is but I would go there and and go do it are you what is falling something fell and I couldn't care less um oh you have a table and you got little hooks for the headphones you're the loudest guest we've ever had I'm the most fidgety for fucking shoea like dropping shit well because I don't know what bits are next prep my we're going to have to do pickups on this no is there an hour and a half of pickups afterward we're going to have to do re shoots on that I thought podcast you just bullshitted no that's what we're doing this is what everyone says it has to be a real conversation and I'm always like it but aren't they boring and they're like that's what people want they want the wire tap is that what it oh that's what they say the wiet they just want to hear you having a conversation Controlled [Music] [Applause] Chaos function of beauty this is right up your alley Benton my Instagram bio try try to control yourself we don't all have the same hair uh so why should we all use the same shampoo and conditioner nonsense you don't have to anymore because of this company it's called function of beauty function of beauty is the internet's toprated customized hair Cur brand with over 30,000 f-star customer reviews and ratings Jesus that's really hard to get actually that's a lot yeah curly or straight natural or processed function of beauty individually formulates every bottle based on your unique hair type style preferences and hair goals where was function of beauty was I was getting bullied in high school right where was this been God damn it to begin uh there's just a short four question quiz uh you save 20% on your first purchase go to functionofbeauty.com Whitney tell them about your hair is it oily is it dry is it thin is it thick and they will customize the formula oo with a fragrance and a color it's also vegan and cruelty-free you can also go dye and fragrance free this is really annoying me that this company hasn't been around longer to get started right now go to functionofbeauty.com Whitney to take your four-part hair profile quiz and save 20% on your first order don't spend another minute in hair misery like I did all throughout the '90s go to functionofbeauty.com Whitney to let them know that we sent you functionofbeauty.com Whitney hello fresh my favorite do you know what I'm referencing hello fresh yes you know Hello Nurse hello nurse but fresh get mouthwatering seasonal rest recipes and pre-measured ingredients delivered right to your door with hella fresh America's number one meal kit we don't do number tw's around here at good for you number ones only thank you helloof Fresh's recipes are so delicious you're going to break out of that dinner rut 22 plus that means 22 and more seasonal Chef curated recipes each week not curated by some willy-nilly person off the street these are real chefs low calorie vegan familyfriendly pick one which one did you pick Benton oh I've tried them all I did the variety yeah so I did all of them I loved them I mean they take you to make it like 20 30 minutes depending on the recipe 20 minutes with a quick recipe option and you know the average trip to the grocery store takes how long 41 minutes he only knew that cuz he read it off the copy but if you're me it takes about 2 hours most people did not know that that's 35 hours a year that you are in the goddamn grocery store and hellofresh is going to change that go to hellofresh .10 good that's hellofresh.com 1good use code 10 good for 10 free meals including free shipping 10 good it's I'm making it sound harder than it is hellofresh.com 1g o d don't play yourself very simple just use the code 10 good for 10 free including free shipping I felt like I was very clear that's I like on the show on my show not to switch it but when people settle in the other day I was asking Josh I said that the girl wol wolf I said you're you're baked or or you smoke a lot of weed right and he goes yeah and then he just started talking about it and then I go at least it's real for a second cuz yeah I mean our topics are real cuz I don't know what they're going to say yeah people think we have rehearsal but they're not in rehearsal I just do it to camera block and say I have to throw to this video and I get confused because I I just I feel like like I don't know I feel like not being funny and makes me panic well cuz comedians were not that funny when we're not on stage I agree like we were just to taking a tour of your house and we just we were actually pretty normal yeah we were just talking about your house and moving in and what yeah we had a real authentic moment there right I'm okay with that almost fell in love but I think people when they when they see you on Instagram or everything there's you're always a little bit of the on switch cuz you have to be cuz that's what you do yes and so do I but I think comedians specifically feel safe to being around each other because we know we don't have to be funny and actually trying to be funny around comedians you feel corny you know because we've all heard everything I think that's why we like hanging out so it's a little against my nature to go on a podcast and like show everyone how like kind of boring I am no but you you are a um interesting girl and I think people will trade real I think they like to just see a little real bullshitting just to see what are we like I would be curious to see the hallway of The Comedy Store I think that's very riveting to see everyone just you see a picture of like you talking to Rogan or or you know Bobby L and be like oh they just hang out they talking to each other it's so weird two your favorite Comics are suddenly like talking to each other and you go o did they laugh at each other yeah it's I also I just forget like it's it's just it is so weird that all of our friends are Comics like it's the it's just the best thing and I think a lot of times when I this why I'm so bad remember how I had like a meltdown I did this thing at New Year's Eve which time I good one which time that this is abuse I'm calling HR we have any more of this water you call oh look here look at this yeah I learned how to share in school um but the you really are hydrate yourself you seem like you take a care of yourself well I had to pull over and uh pull the tumble weeds out of my grill I keep saying how far it is something that I'm interested in about you is that I feel like you've been through a lot of traumatic things and um you've handled them really well as well as possible I mean you just have to keep you keep going either way whether you want to or not so you just been through a are you're just good at grief well it affects me in weird ways because it's hard to get too attached because to new people to new people I obviously my dating history is bad no it's I don't why why why well I'm dating someone now that that I was friends with for a long time and but why is your dating history bad why why do why is that I take a bad rap but but why it's you're you're just every one dates a lot of people yours were just in the news cuz you're famous right and I actually didn't really want him in the news but there's other people that do it to be in the news and I learned early on that that makes it so much harder and so much more pressure and people like have a opinion about me to them and opinion about them to me they whisper you know she went out with you know and then you started getting weird like wait what and then I I heard she sketch you know or whatever you and that and it can ruin things quicker and forget at the level of these guys like Brad or you know yeah that they have to try to just how would you ever have a date with yeah be so weird so I've gone through some stuff and I think dating even marriages don't work so it's not like saying you should be married that's the end all and be all it just makes other people happy why aren't you married I'm like who gives a fuck like well I I find it interesting and I and I I'm not over here I mean it is what it is of like if a man is single at a certain age it's like oh he's like why isn't he married and if a woman is single they're like good for you you don't need anyone it's switch because it used to be poor girl yeah you know because like weddings I don't like weddings when they make the fucking single girls pay for everything like you won you got married like fucking chicks to something instead of like it's great I'm getting married andone like oh people would rather you have been married and divorced than not married they would like that for me for sure they would rather you have been divor wrote on that forever married right away and divorce right away and then 25 years hey I did that I and it was a great scam it's so true but I want to talk about the girl you're currently dating I always like asking this especially of my smart guy friends why why oh just uh I mean I've met her I know why but knew her for a long time dated years and years ago and then stayed friends with her and then I sort of in the back of my head going and then you know people you have to know people cuz usually people date and they go out right away and bl it takes a while to know how people are General disposition is important to me they say it takes two years to fully know someone right because see even have you ever broken up with someone or stop seeing them and you see how they handle that well that's so interesting and they go crazy and you go oh this is the side I didn't see or you do it and they handle it with class and Grace and you're like oh wait actually yes we should stay together you hand that breakup so well and you look back to that and go I never had super highs and lows it was all it you see so many different ways they handle grief or handle this just casually because you're just living your life and and being around them and it sort of makes a better shape but we used to always talk about General disposition like sometimes people I can't even say what I am because I don't know looking this way at me but when I'm around people I like someone who's medium to upbeat Persona instead of there's some that are so down you're always trying to get to even get to a level like they're like sad like how is it all right and you're trying to get the balls in the air to get them to have a good time and it's very rare and most time they're like it's just been so tough you know people I give a guy friend like that it's super Downer yes and then they're like a little depressed and it's always like hey you having fun and I know couples like that one's always trying to pull the other one up that's so interesting and one is like uh it really is a recreating your childhood circumstances thing you know of like if you're used to entertaining someone and trying to make someone Happ I mean I did that for the longest time because it was so hard to make my primary caretakers happy that I would just do that in relationship are those called parents those parents primary caretakers is that primary caretakers yeah I've never heard that we're attracted to people with the negative qualities of our primary caretakers negative qualities wow I just call them that because some people don't have par I was raised by my aunts for a really long time um but I do think that in my 20s I very much was just recreating my childhood circumstances with the people I dated because that was familiar and then I was like oh no I don't have to date someone who like needs to be rescued all the time who needs to be entertained and who's a and like I don't have to I can have dogs that need to be rescued I I have that too you know you look at like my dad was a big drinker and he was he took off when we were four so you have to look back to everything that's happened since and go it didn't affect me then you go actually it did because then you go it comes out in ways and then you're like am I like him am I not like him what obviously there's going to be Parts me like my dad and I don't want the bad part so I got to figure out if there's a way to choose out of that and not recreate just a p i know friends are like my dad was drunk I'm a drunk we're all drunks and I you know you don't have to for sure just roll with it no he goes we have addictive families we're all fat we all eat it I go are you ever addicted anything good for you y no good addiction just the easy ones hookers and the Coke and how about work and volunteering is it quinoa yeah aren you addicted to cleaning a trash on a beach yeah like no those never quite caught on but uh did go back shrooms and so you have all these people that I do see the recreating I know a buddy that is sort of recreating in not a great way his child and you go that's where he feels comfortable he's sort of making his later years exactly like that yes and for better for and it is comfortable and you and you can see other people doing it but there's nothing you can say because a lot of people are comfortable and what would be painful for us is their comfort zone right and there's and people love adrenaline too I mean people love adrenaline they love to feel needed some people love it took me so long to understand that some people want to live in constant drama and that Serenity makes them anxious and nervous I know girls that are not even that I've dated just that I'm friends with them you just watch them and you just look from a distance going so glad I'm not your boyfriend CU they're like so fucking dramatic and they put their boyfriend through the ringer so hard and then they're like uh you know then they the guy they break up and then they you know the breakup get together drives people bananas even from the from the cheap seats you go I can't watch and then you just want to jump in and go fucking go your separate ways but it's never worked telling someone that has never worked they always go I've changed you know that whole thing was bad for me I've they're exactly the same they just get a new person and do the ex to recreate the same pattern just see it's not working somehow I don't know how but some people love that and I finally don't judge it you know like I used to be like why doesn't everyone want to live the way and I'm like if you want I did that I know what that is you need the distraction you need the chaos L I don't have it figured out you might I I don't know you seem pretty together but you you are you an overthinker this is a good question what am I Benton no comment is she I it depends on what I'm doing you seem to think a lot yeah it's exhausting if you're awake you are it's exhausting yes I would say you're always aw yes wait you're awake a lot is it hard to shut down and go to sleep very hard that's I think it's a nightmare do you sleep I think smart people do that I sleep fine but I I see people when they have a lot and and everything about meditating and things I even got an NA and it's like everything's about shutting off your mind and mind's like okay lights out but other people like they say they cycle they have like a few thoughts that are just going so fast their head they can't think of anything else and they can't go to bed let me ask you something do you not get scared in your house cuz didn't you get burglarized or something recently 90 million what did you ask me about what Oh I thought you said how much was it um no it's not it's a shit hole but I I've been to your house your house is very it is kind of like when I was 20 what I thought of house would look like it it's very there's like marble it's it's not but it's not like you do you know what I mean what you mean is it's a beautiful house no I know but it's and it's it's more modernish right don't yes yes it's very um just lacquer it's very shiny quit with the lacquer I I that's the old Beverly Hill that's it dark black lacquer Mir there before you yes Gabor no no I'm kidding there are some of my rooms that look like jaaja because it's from 1970 mirrored closet doors like it's no well I haven't gotten everything it's very sexy house okay you switched it it's a very sexy house listen you can do Coke off the doors you also have a weird Cliff like in I know it looks like a giant Comedy Store Green Room that's the most horrifying description The Comedy Store Green Room is is such a piece of shit it's all marble like it's just it's very oh there's one like I hope you wear shoes with tread in here this is so horrible my you know when Andy and Katie were would come I would say they have such good taste and I go come do this whole motherfucking house and cuz Andy's like we might start hotels called the Spades and I'm like let's do a dry run with my house and see if you know what the fuck you're doing but Andy has two storage units full of art along with whatever he had on his he has every square inch of his walls with stuff I also what is this I'm obsessed with families that have more than one successful person in as Offspring like how are you both how is your brother I don't you think that has to do with your dad no one was really would have guessed it from either of us for sure uh it's very bizarre that both you and your brother and different like he probably has more money than you can you now Andy yeah oh don't do it but uh I I can just say yes yes uh if I had his I'd throw mine away did I already do that joke did you um did you know that would happened just air just Air One version of it umir when you air this when is this airing Dro I think you say drop no it's when does the Pod Drop stream remember when Macy Gray was walking with a sandwich board the MTV Awards and it says album dropped September 11th 2001 I was like it didn't do well I don't think anything should drop on September 11th as a general rule she said airplanes and my album no no nope I refus do not do it don't laugh at it it was a test cuz you're a horrible person cuz you laughed and I was saying it as a test I laugh I can laugh at offensive things all Comics do jokes that's the difference I know they're jokes and you go this guy wants plans to follow this guy he likes September 11th he liked it it's how we cope of course I think cuz we're I don't know how your upbringing was but I think you cope by trying to joke about shitty situations yes doesn't make him not shitty it doesn't make him that you're you know who Bob Saget is so he's like the king of this one time we were you know his sister had died of this horrible like skin disease oh yeah I went to one of those benefits am I uh saying Scleroderma excer exoderma it's FL of and he jokes about it in a way that is we were one time at a restaurant in New York eating lasagna and he's like hey can you stop eating my sister Jesus Christ too far for me we laughed for like 40 minutes yeah uh he's good at that and he also at least it disarms you from being so nervous around because it's like you want so badly to for no one to be hurt and yes you know he also his act is dirty goes I have two kids I love them you can too they're in my trunk $20 you know what I mean he talks very fast about these dirty jokes he's got a funny thing where I think Stamos was like this was where they they were on such a they were such a clean show that they would let you know that they were very R-rated and you know yeah well he yeah cuz he did would always do the um uh the olssen twins joke yeah right you never did any of the roasts I did one roast I did a roblo when was that oh recent that was like two years ago yeah I hosted it really I took some hits I've been putting it off because I listen has a joke ever hurt your feelings oh yeah really yeah that's why the whole Eddie Murphy thing I was like I get it man I don't want I like jokes that way I don't want him this way why are people still talking about that was that a big deal at the time it was a big deal all the time because to have a huge SNL guy call me at work and lay me the fuck out like unbelievable like I was like this and Chris Rock was on the other phone going like he wants to get away from me just to salvage his relationship with Eddie yeah he's trying to push me out was it so you did a joke on SNL of making fun of Eddie and then he called you are you guys is fine now I saw him last night really we are fine yeah finally uh he didn't like it laid me out and I loved him well yeah but I did a joke about him he didn't like it and you know people go oh you know his for specially shitting on Mr T like everybody but I couldn't get that in through the screams I was more like in shock and I wasn't going to talk back to him I was just I took it I took it I said I'm sorry and I didn't mean for it like that I think you're fucking great blah fuck you fuck you and then not me he said that we hung up Rock was like oh snap so then it was this lifelong problem and he wouldn't do SNL anymore he wouldn't come on SNL he wouldn't go to the reunion and so when he hosted he said I'm going to drop this thing I have about Spade I'm going to drop it and I'm going to forget about it and I'm going to host and I'm and it's all behind me and it took that long wow and so it was uh but you know it sort of affected me in a weird way because people always knew about and rock every couple years ago I saw Edie this weekend still hates you and I'd go godamn I just felt bad cuz he had to hear my name because they'd bring it up in interviews go you still M he like I just didn't like it I just didn't like what happened I was mad at him I was mad at Lauren and it's nice that it's sort of over now and he and he doesn't have to hear my fucking name of my one stupid joke a long time ago so but the truth is I don't like Jo I did SNL when I left they did a bit about me three shows after I left I was like godamn let me get cold but that's just the way it is you know our show does it and I make fun of myself so whatever you make fun of yourself yeah but some I think on those roast and stuff every now and then it gets rough does it you've been on them I but do you do them any more now I almost did the last one Alec Bal one I I he great I came very close to doing it I loved him him and I had a project together um that didn't happen for a Litany of reasons and uh and I just had a but you know it's like they say the person and I just instantly had a bunch of really good jokes and I was like fuck like I just you know um but I was promoting the last special and I when I do roast I really prepare I mean you know you're I really prepare when I do well you're a writer and you're smart and then you actually do it right but the roastar I also was a writer on the roasts first I wrote for flavor flave I wrote forit um Saget Amy I no I didn't do one with Amy I've never done one with Amy but was she writer first or she just come on do her own I don't remember remember Anthony jelnick was a writer we overlapped uh I think one year and then I wrote for a couple other ones and then I kept trying to get on them and I did a roast for Steve Tish who what does he own the the giant Giants right and we filmed it gave it to Kami Central they hired me for the Larry the Cable Guy roast then unhired me for it and then I ended it the first one I did with was Joan Rivers and when you've never done anything they're great you know they because they just they don't know what to get you you're a whore you're coming your mouth you know I me Greg Geraldo had the best joke I I feel like uh the J Rivers roast about me he just went Whitney Cummings is here for some reason that's the perfect but then once you've done some stuff and oh you know it was just uh it would get more and more brutal it was a lot about like my body and like like plastic surgery jokes and you know stuff that was just like uh she's anorexic and vampire like it was kind of that stuff when they don't know you if you did it to me I would know that you you're pulling back on some you're just trying to get some good jokes in but if someone doesn't know you it's fucking brutal like coming in and taking your legs at you hey fuck you cuz they're not doing with any sort of Love or fun they're just like I'm here to make a name for me yes and also but I think that the appearance stuff is R that's when it gets rough when you like realiz day and age is rougher yeah when you realize they that you're appear something that's what they think well it's like Lisa limp and Al I remember after the roast of I want to say Trump actually we cried because she had just lost all this weight and you know they were making fat jokes about her and you know uh fucking uh black guys but she was married to a white it was just kind of like you know we know why they have to write the jokes they have to write but it's still it's like one will get through that will like hurt you of course I could well and the roast with roblo the ones that got me I don't think I was too crushed cuz they were I I I'll also take clever over mean you just want them to be clever and you go Ah that's a good one but it has to be mean to be funny I mean and it's also having written on the rose for so long even people you really like that are really talented like we can't get you on you not being funny we can't get you on having be a bad career we can really only get you on like your exes or your like it's just like the people that get hurt the most some sometimes are the ones that have the least to make fun of because you have to dig deeper into weird places yeah and if and career stuff's always hard yeah it's oh I mean Geraldo also said something uh funny Once on the red carpet because uh I mean I Greg Geraldo always was the funniest at the Rose everyone loves him and he always was doing like Pilots that didn't get picked up or TV shows that didn't go and that's always what we got him on because you can never say it wasn't funny and so people be like yeah and you know we better get this over with before it gets cancelled cuz Greg geraldo's here like those were always the jokes I remember he was on the red carpet once and one of the correspondents was like um hey Greg like what do you think of the fact that you know you never do TV shows or all your stuff gets cancelled and he goes when did it become so embarrassing to just be a comedian for a living yeah that's true like he just like was just like why am I you know and by the way in this day and age yeah it's a great time to be a comedian for living well it's also so funny when um highly respected too I'm like on a tour I'm doing stand up I'm kind of just trying to focus on doing you know specials and stuff people come up to me they're like when are you going to do a TV show and it's like we don't what do I have to do for you we what we don't do standup to get TV like that's not now you can do TV to get stand up how come you not do more movies cuz it well then I'd have to go to Atlanta for four months and cancel a door by the way most people make more money doing standup if you're doing well it's like to do a movie and not all movies pay well I never made a shitload on movies I I made more yeah but you're like a movie star oh you're a movie star I was about to leave I you got oh yeah know I have to ask you some questions from Instagram cuz people will freak out say I don't believe that you don't make money in movies that's hard I make some but I I don't make like what probably people think I'd make but people I mean you have like iconic movies don't you get like Joe Dirt don't you get money when they get bigger and bigger I don't think so really yeah there's so much money you don't even know when if you are making any I did you about to put on ChapStick on the show I did some Jo dirt hats last year because people wear them and ask me about them when I go I got on line there's 3,000 people that make joder you in Sun buum get fucked in is that oh this is from a mom is a sun bumb lip balm and um there's I'm in the middle of a big bit it's not even a bit there's two jod dirt car washes there's there's so much joder shit out there do you have there's nothing that's real it's all Sony never did anything why do people love that movie so much it's a great question I think it was me for once playing a nice character I was friendly I was I was uh getting bullied and shit on and people related to it oh interesting and I had a good positive attitude yeah and I kept trying to get through it saying you can't quit in life and something about it resonated I'm telling you I I I didn't know we did it I thought it was just weird and different like Raising Arizona kind of we for and it came together and it really gets to people like they go I grew up on that and I I try to live that Mantra and I try to feel so I love I love that in a way that not all movies that I do especially you know I've done probably 25 movies and and people talk about six of them that's fine you know they don't talk about the other one they don't do that great but if you can get a couple that they like and have so much fun with it's great a kid I love okay go ahead give me a question um what's a joke you wish you wrote oh it's a weird question isn't it it's a good question it's a weird one there's so many out there that I think are fucking great weird it's a weird question though cuz sometimes I see jokes that I think are awesome I'm like I wish I'd wrote it but I can't do it wouldn't work as well it's like clothes it's just not going to look as good on me there's couple where I go oh fuck how good how good is that but that annoys me I just I get jealous of other guys a lot I don't know if I wish I wrote them but I I get I go that's a fucking great one yeah who do you like coming up right now comedian one oh we have some you can I tell you you guys do have your I do think your show is now becoming almost like what the Tonight Show used to be I know that will those days are over but in terms of premium blend or those shows that used to have like the best up and cominging comedians I think is your show I like when you said Tonight Show better don't you agree I love watching those the five we had this guy Dylan the other day Tim Dylan is so fucking funny well is that who you me no there's Tim Dylan who's now turned into regular but there's a kid named Dylan Sullivan with uh he came on and did his tight five set and great yeah we let him be a little dirty we let him do the set they can't do and I think every single one they've never done any TV before so it's a great first time out they've all done well and and then I do hear that that you're just at least supporting comedy and getting place where people can go watch a new comic yeah and like building careers I mean it's really like you know getting people the ability to like work regular comedians like you that come in in between tours and pop in and do a quick TV spot and go back out and then people get to see you just see you again real quick do you ever like is it ever weird to pair people are you're like no they're not yeah we do think about how to do it because some like if we have you we don't have to have two people that are um stand up this say bye I just love when how does this work does it go up oh it does fuck yeah so we don't have to have once we know that you're a sharpshooter cuz Whitney's a killer on there and just in general and you're going to bring it we can put someone hasn't been on before just in case you know and they don't quite get with the program right away it usually takes one or two times and uh anyway but yes go ahead no Justin thow wrote a question for you and I swear to God he responded to it and he wrote a question but uh people want to know what's the most expensive thing you own um I mean my house but uh is that the dumbest answer I mean it's the true answer it's my house then I'm fascinated by this cuz you to me are such a like weirdly down-to-earth person and you don't spend money on stupid shit he drives a Land Rover from like 1998 95 Land Cruiser thank you and I drive I like it I love it and uh what is that it's just I bought it new well half the shit is my neck killed me so it's whatever I don't have any seats with leather seats neither do I I have cloth but for different reasons right wait why is that why do you want them to be cloth seats it's just better on my back I don't know my neck is better so I just buy cars that are like so all my cars are shitty even though I love cars I would waste all my money on cars if I could cuz The Comedy Store parking lot right now is Ferrari wait have you ever seen this in comedy where all of a sudden comedians that one's rich and they have cool cars it was always like dude sh rolled up in a yellow ason Martin who came up in a Ferrari the other day who was that I know shop has one I can't remember who he has a red one I can't remember who came up in a Ferrari there's a couple there and there's just good cars I think Rogan has some cool cars very cool there's a lot of guys that like cars and they have the money for them I don't have enough driveway but uh I could keep a couple here I go I went to a car auction in Arizona last week I was trying to get more you're in Arizona all the time from there Dumbo I know that but but that's hour 14 keep going I know okay but I feel like we'll cut some of the top of done soon um I feel like we'll cut some of the top of this I have to get I'm watching the wrong Missy after this I have to go home and uh what's that it's a movie I did comes out in uh May oh the one you did in Hawaii yeah oh good I have never seen it so uh do you is it scored though there music it's finished oh good totally finished yeah why AR I invit I didn't want to see I go I don't want to see any I just wait till it's done who are you watching it with uh Adam gets coming over okay um you want to watch with a group of people so yeah swy oh good Rosie and uh Bobby my friend from the show wait let's before you go we need to decide what you're getting Rosie for um uh yes we do what are you getting her a Teddy longer no I don't I don't get that corny shit I get something cool like what I don't do a gift card I think gift card is the best apple apple no I think I think you should get her candles everyone knows I love candles get her the vagina candle I think they should make a butthole one does she have a new butthole one coming out no I don't know um well what are you going to get her let's decide stop saying it again why cuz Valentine's Day is a fucking scam it is not a scam I I mean it's just a madeup holiday this a capitalism by the way no matter how it came about it's fuck are so bad at being nice to us we had to in make invent a day to force you guys get a shit or at least at night this is what it came to but it's I I agree that however it came about it's real and you better do something yes that's all yes you know what else is manufactured holiday the Super Bowl I don't even love the super I like all the way up too cuz I play final super fucking cool I feel like you you play who fantasy football really how are you doing Isn't that cool girls love it I go hey I tell Rosie anything I go hey you know that so today I had Patrick Mahomes she goes stop stop I don't even understand you no one understands and you have to watch all the football to know everyone's statistics you have to be fucking smart are you doing good I lost is your team doing well are you a good fantasy coach you're like is your team or whatever the fuck I don't understand so you have you have PE players on a lot of different teams and then you make up your own team you draft oh this this doesn't count I broke this it's uh you draft whatever it's so boring people tune out what else you no they won't they're going to love this David Spade talking about fantasy football that's a that's a hot clip we'll get that one Entertainment Tonight this one to fucking bar St I would like to give myself credit for number one not asking about Chris Farley oh that is true that was a very uh conscious Choice good and I was trying to not ask you anything that you're normally ask I didn't ask you about the bachelor that's true yeah I'm going to watch it this week though cuz I know you're obsessed with it is the iron you lost on anyone that that's your favorite show I don't know it's just fun to watch but I watched even the one with the guy the girl and all the guys that's still funny still everyone do you watch Comedy or no like TV well I no I watch when I pop in the store and watch people like I mean like com like scrip I feel like comedians love watching reality shows funny to us anymore people humiliate by the way I've probably seen about four episodes of friends that's kind of a hot take really never saw I can tell I can say this with maybe lying I've never seen five pH epes of friend really right wow so I like Jen I like Jen anyway I'm going to tell her yeah you just love her for her you just love them for them I I think it was more blinding jealousy than anything because the show is such a monster and we were on at the same time just shoot me and so we were still maybe top 10 top 15 but you but how hard was that we were on against not against but we were on the same network but we had friends ER Will and Grace Frasier all these great shows so it was hard to stand out Seinfeld they were all on the same time H same you know Ellen was on at that time Ellen the TV show sitc TV show yes I actually love that show well she was in the uh mix of all that Crossfire too cuz it was very tough yeah no she would do jokes about it on the El that's funny so whenever cuz she had a coffee shop and when people will come in and uh there was one time jie graa was on the show and was like hey looking for the friends people was like can I get a hot chocolate and Ellen what do you think this is Central Perk like she would make jokes about it on Ellen which I thought was so funny she's always goddamn funny in her show all right we have to get you out of here I got to go because more I'm collapsing I can't believe you're here I can't believe you did this yeah I thought that was like really funny I think we should cut some of the top though cuz I feel like we were just getting into it I think people like the bullshit you think of us sitting in and just bullshitting about whatever see like even this people don't care I would watch this oh there's your thing that you're always wearing your mler uh liner montler yeah you're montler is that what you really called it that's the most expensive thing he owns by the way what is that 3,000 my money's tied up in cash right now now uh I stand up get I love the idea of just like I look at my shoes though careful those are fancy do you have an orange where did you get those uh I get them from work and I steal them because they give me a new one every day this is like the most awkward ending to any podcast no it isn't this is where we trickle out um I love you so much thank you thanks for wearing your best lion shirt see the [Music] Shir

Channel: Whitney Cummings

Views: 630,001

Keywords: Whitney Cummings, Whitney Cummings interview, Whitney Cummings podcast, good for you podcast, David Spade, David Spade 2024, David Spade interview, David Spade podcast, David Spade standup, David Spade comedy, David Spade best moments, David Spade old moments, David Spade career, David Spade snl, where Is David Spade now, what happened to David Spade, David Spade Comedy Central

Id: VfokRogyH-M

Length: 87min 51sec (5271 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 06 2020