Enneagram: Am I Type 6?

hey what's up guys today we're talking about type 6 on the Enneagram we're asking the question am i a type 6 and we're gonna talk about some of the characteristics that are true of type sixes if you are a type 6 I think you're going to enjoy this video it will probably just you know be a reminder of some things you already know but maybe you'll see things from a different a different insight and gain a little bit more understanding about yourself if you live or work with a type 6 then this will no doubt be helpful to you as you learn to to bring out the best in them and to help them be more successful and more trustworthy more trusting in in the environment that you work with them now take everything I say today in the context of the work environment because I think although this information is good for any situation it's originally intended for the work environment type 6 is called the loyal skeptic you guys know that or you know the vigilant troubleshooter the devil's advocate I have a daughter that's a type 6 and of course I have a lot of people in my life that I've been able to observe that our type sixes I'm pretty sure my mom was a type 6 and sometimes I don't know if you guys have found this to be true but sometimes it can be hard to to you know understand the Enneagram type of people that you know really well because you can kind of see you know as you've had so much experience with them in the past that now looking back and trying to type them you can see so many nuanced characteristics that sometimes it's not always you know super easy to tell but I'm pretty sure my mom was a type six she was constantly always saying you know well here's the bad side or this is what could happen or stop and think before you go forward now this is what could happen and so let's let's talk about the six the six is the proverbial fear type it's the it's the type that is motivated by a sense of what could go wrong or what could happen and that leads them to want to troubleshoot and be good planners because they want to kind of like look ahead to the future to see what's coming next so in an attempt to try to remain safe or an attempt to try to play it safe so if you could forecast the future you know and you could know what was gonna happen you could know whether people were gonna be trustworthy or reliable or not then you would be able to then adjust your expectations and adjust your behavior to to remain in a safe position so they want certainty Six's wants security the world is a very frightening place the world is a very scary place two sixes and sometimes they can even enhance the the scariness of the world by their many troublesome thoughts and sometimes the world can seem scarier than it actually is when a six starts getting that snowball you know effect of their fears and their anxieties start to roll if you can stop them for a second and get them present with reality and say yes but are you in any danger right now well no of course I guess I'm not really in any danger right now but a six has always got their radar up you know looking for potential threats looking for potential dangers and looking for potential trustworthy reliable sources and authorities and so they're very cautious at coming in the new relationships and very cautious about coming in to new environments because they don't know the lay of the land and they don't know who they can trust and they don't know who is reliable and so they're always watching behaviors they're always scanning and watching what people are doing to see if what they're doing is matching their words to see if they're reliable and seeing if people can reliably assess other threats thorough seeing if other people can assess threats I mean if they get the idea that you're gonna lie to them or you're gonna betray them or you're not aware of how a threat could potentially grow then they'll kind of mark you with a red X is your not a reliable person you're not a dependable person you're not somebody that's going to be there to support me you're buddy that I need support from so you gotta get blacklisted and sixes will remember offenses done against them because they've you've been marked as somebody who is reliable or not reliable and there's very few people I think that really end up in that reliable group like an eight has a very few people that are on the inside of the fort you know sixes have a few people that they believe they can go to may be unhealthy sixes going get advice from everybody they want to know what everybody thinks and what everybody's doing but probably healthier sixes you know have have less people that they that they rely on that they believe over time have proven themselves to be dependable reliable aides dependable reliable helpers they are often called the devil's advocate because they feel a sense or a need to poke holes in strategies or poke holes and arguments even if they agree on the surface with the argument or agree with the strategy they feel like almost compelled impulse to try to argue from the other side because we got to test everything that we say and everything that we do and every plan that we have we need to test it we need to poke holes in it and and we need to evaluate our plans and strategies to make sure that they are really trustworthy and reliable so they'll take the devil's advocate on positions even when they're in complete agreement they feel like the compulsion the like have to argue the other side they also value the underdog for that same reason whoever seems like they're not getting a fair shake in some ways eights are like eights whoever is not getting a fair shake or whoever is getting you know the common man they want to argue on behalf of the common man and do what they think is best for the common man for the underdog and they're suspicious of authorities because authorities you know have historically you use their power in corrupt ways to oppress innocent people and so sixes are always on the watch for that kind of thing they have sort of an anti-authoritarian bias by which they look at the world although they want to be safe and they want to be taken care of and they want to be protected they're always a little bit suspicious of authorities because authorities have the ability to to abuse their power against the common man and so they kind of go into you know work environments you know not necessarily wanting to be authority figures themselves not necessarily wanting to stand out may not be very comfortable with having positions of authority because people in positions of authority are targets and you know that they they themselves will at times mutiny against authority and so they have that fear that others might mutiny against them so sixes want to be loyal and when they when they gain your trust when you have their trust they will be loyal to you they will be very loyal people but they always have that kind of suspicion as well in the back of their minds and until they can overcome that suspicion they could be the sabotage and mutiny against their own authorities and against the groups that they swear allegiance to if they don't feel like that group is upholding their end of the of the of the Covenant or the contract so six sixes programming tells them that the way to find safety and a potentially dangerous dangerous world is always be on the lookout for threats always be on the lookout for who's reliable who's trustworthy who's a good authority figure and who's not so they're attuned to those threats and try to then solve problems and potential problems in order to minimize those threats so they're very good at like you know being problem solvers but here's the thing sixes don't trust their own ability to solve their own problems all of us on the India Graham we all realized that there's been a monkey wrench thrown into us we're in every number we all have some kind of like glitch you know something that's just not connecting right that the the other types on the India Graham don't have the problem with four sixes that glitch is they don't feel like they can fully trust their own ability to sort potential threats they don't feel like they can trust their own ability to resolve they're there to assess their situation properly and to resolve their threats and so they're then looking for support they're looking for those that will come around them and support them to help them solve their problems they're perfectly capable six is you are perfectly capable of solving your own problems you probably more than any other type on the India Graham our problem solvers by nature that's what you do you spend your life run in problems and solving them but when it comes right down to it sixes don't necessarily trust their own ability to solve their problems so they want somebody who will walk with them to help them work through their problems they don't want somebody to walk with him and give him a walk it off answer like everything's gonna be okay don't worry about you're making too much out of this you they don't want somebody to just minimize their problems and and not be real about the problem they also don't want somebody that's gonna give them the solution and say well here's what you need to do stop talking this is what you need to do you need to do this you need to make this phone call you need to send this letter in they don't want somebody to tell them what to do they want somebody who will then engage listening with them who will say oh well that yeah that could be a problem so what what do you think will happen if that happens and then they'll talk about what they think might happen and all the potential problems and scenarios okay yeah I can see then then they want you to bounce back okay well I can see that so if that happened then what could you do to to resolve that well I could do this and I could do and they'll go back into their problem solving and then they'll get to the point if you'll just engage with them a little bit and reflect back what they're saying they'll get to the conclusion themselves that I'm gonna be okay this is probably gonna be alright this is gonna be not as big a deal as maybe I'm blowing it up to be but they want somebody to walk with them through that process because they don't they have a cup of that's like to have a gear missing that just doesn't let believe that they could really solve it and be okay and and you can walk along a six and just help them by reflecting back what they're saying asking a few questions they'll get to the conclusion that they're gonna be all right or that they've got a plan that that that will make them safe or make the company safe or whatever but they just need that little bit of support that's what it's a good word for it support not even necessarily guidance just support just to walk them through that situation they're perfectly capable of doing it on their own but it's kind of like they need that help that support in processing it till they get to the conclusion themselves so what else do I want to say about this before we get into the list I got a list here today of like you know maybe like top 10 or 15 characteristics of sixes in the workplace anything else I want okay well if it comes to me it comes to me if it doesn't it doesn't here we go so here's how you can tell this is like the the the view from inside the six and this is coming from the nine types of leadership by Beatrice chestnut everything she writes is great it's a good book so solid great information if you see the work you do through the lens of what might go wrong okay so you see the work you do through the lens of what might go wrong realize sixes most of us don't okay we don't see it that way we we're excited either we're excited about the work we're doing and we're passionate about it and we say to ourselves and the details will probably work out the details will probably work out you know or there's some people that may like really focus on the details and getting people to do what they're supposed to do but they don't they don't wake up in the morning thinking all these things are gonna go wrong we need to you know resolve these crisis and be prepared for the worst but I think six is really do they kind of see everything through that what might go wrong and so that makes you a great troubleshooter and a contingency plan err and noticing potential threats before their problems you know noticing what what potential dangers there are and then working to resolve those dangers and minimize those dangers that's what makes you very useful and in a lot of those work environments okay number two you ask a lot of questions as a way of making sure products and procedures are thoroughly checked and everything goes according to plan ask a lot of questions that's true asking a lot of questions you don't a lot of people don't so that's a good thing it's a good thing to ask questions it's a good thing to you know question authority at times it's a good thing too to want to get your facts right and to question you know the big global corporations and the food industry and the pharmaceutical industry and the medical industry and the law industry you know it's good that we have those people out there that are questioning and and wanting to get to the truth and wanting to get to the right information I think we all benefit from that it can be annoying sometimes when you when you're dealing with sixes who get hung up on my new details and you know want to second-guess everything on when they're on your team or when they're in your organization or when they're in your church it can get annoying and frustrating sometimes when every lesson you teach or every opportunity you have you know to take a step forward there's kind of this hand in the back you know that raises up an objection or raises up might be or what could you clarify that or what are you you know and so you got to be a little patient we have to be patient with sixes because it's not that they're trying to be frustrating they're trying to just make sure we've thought through all the details which can be you know a super helpful thing in terms of safety and taking the safe road and taking the safe path but the rest of us have to be willing to slow down and and let them think through you know those those questions they want to solve problems before their problems okay number three you automatically try to poke holes in people's plans to test how solid they are again this can be sometimes kind of frustrating for the rest of us although you know again there's a there's a positive side to this and a negative side to it is a positive side in that you know we need that we need that but sometimes it can get a little frustrating because you got people who are always just trying well what about this and what about that and what what about in this case or what about in that case and kind of going down these rabbit trails that get you sidetracked from you know the main mission or the main objective we can get so sidetracked with what could happen or what this could mean that we sometimes can get away from the main the main thing or being productive because we're so focused on what could go wrong we we are afraid to take the next step one of the things you notice about six is two is like if they have the opportunity to teach or to make decisions and be in leadership it's very hard for them not to second-guess themselves so as much as they second-guess you think like a1 Wright who always has the inner critic and then everyone small they share that inner critic with the rest of us and they they can come across very critical but it's only a little picture of you know the criticism that's in their own mind six is sometimes share that you know they share that voice of concern with the rest of us what you might say the Wolfpack sixes have like a wolf pack that's always breathing down their neck that's just trying to get them and they're always on the run trying to keep ahead of the Wolf Pack every once in a while when you're around a six you can kind of hear the wolf pack you know you can kind of hear the beating drum you know of the of the the the enemy's that's come into the gate you know that's gonna it's going to destroy us six is kind of always have that tension like there's a Wolf Pack chasing us or there's beating TomTom drums of the enemy that's gonna come storm the fort and when you're around six is long enough you start to hear they start to like that anxiety starts to rub off from them on to you and they have a hard time saying things hard and fast and taking a heart and fast and because they can always see you know the devil's advocate they could always see that maybe potentially in certain situations and at certain times this rule might not work for everybody and even though they may be a hundred percent sure of the information they're telling you if you start raising your hand and raising objections to a six they're immediately gonna feel like oh maybe I got this all wrong maybe I don't know what I'm talking about maybe all my information is current correct maybe and they'll have to talk themselves down off that ledge you know that no I really do know what I'm saying I really did check out this information I know I'm right about this and it might happen in a split second but a six is going to just like they second-guess everybody they're gonna second-guess themselves as well which can hinder their effectiveness you know and hinder their ability to trust that they're able to move forward so it's kind of like that statement you know know when you know enough that you know enough or know when you know enough to make a decision at some point you have to say I know enough and all things being equal everything is somewhat of a risk and I've got to take a step forward it's gonna be a calculated risk but it's still always some element of risk in everything we do in everything we believe even and everything we believe there's that element that we could be wrong and we can focus on the fact that we could be wrong and then not believe anything or we could be wrong so not take any step forward but we can't let that we can't let those fears keep us from being from being willing to take risks and being willing to take I think six is just more than anybody else want to take measures risks okay so poking holes in people's arguments having a hard time accepting things at face value you know they kind of know that everybody's trying to sell them some line of garbage and so they have like a very high BS detector okay there's no other way to say it but they're always listening to people sorting through what they're saying and analyzing it and trying to get to the conclusion does this person really know what they're talking about are they a reliable source of information are they a legitimate source of information is this person trying to sell me something or is this person honestly have my best interest at heart that's what sixes are into that's what they're scanning that's what they're always evaluating okay they're always evaluating whether somebody is reliable as a source of support or not and there's going to be triggers that make them think yes or no answers to that question and sometimes that anxiety will start in them and then they'll go looking for who's causing that anxiety but they don't they may not process the fact that the anxiety is within them the fear is within them but what they'll do is they'll start to look externally as to are you the cause of my anxiety is something you said you know when you walk past me today on our way to the staff meeting and you kind of made that little comment that's why I don't feel secure at this work that's why I don't feel secure and so that's not the reason that they don't feel secure they don't feel secure because they're 6is they don't feel secure because they don't trust their own ability to reason out and sort their own problems and evaluate problems as to whether they're high threats or middle threats or low threats or no threats but they're going to sometimes project that anxiety externally as though you are the cause of that anxiety and of course if you're a cause of anxiety then you need to be dealt with and that's where sometimes success can turn into mutiny you know and their own worst enemies they can bring about the very thing they're afraid of their afraid that people are going to turn against them right they're afraid that people are going to turn against them to cause them harm but by their by their skepticism and by their let's see by their skepticism and by their constant questioning and constant evaluating of people they can put people on the defensive and then bring about the very thing they're afraid of all of a sudden you know people at work are saying you know that that the six is causing problems because they're going around and questioning people and subverting Authority and arguing with people about planes and procedures and and now you can cut and you can kind of bring about if you're not careful the very thing you're afraid of is now you do have people that are against you who wouldn't have been if you could have relaxed a little bit okay let's see what else we got here worst-case scenario thinkers why because they want to prevent the worst case scenarios so they're thinking ahead of predicting what could go wrong and then you know the tire might go flat and if the tire goes flat I won't have the right equipment to change it and then bandits will come and they'll probably you know kidnap us and they'll throw us in the trunk and then we'll be killed and you know my kids will never have a mother and all this starts with you know whether or not the you know it all started with whether or not we had the spare tire but that's where the thinking goes it just spirals into what could potentially go wrong all right so you have a hard time trusting people in the initial stages of a relationship so you could even sabotage your own relationships because of that but you have a hard time trusting people at least as you're getting to know them and you need to get to know people before you feel like you can trust them they realize that's what's interesting about this is a lot of us don't a lot of people on the eaning gram don't I mean they just they just kind of look at people as innocent until proven guilty but I think sixes are much more suspicious like guilty until you prove yourself innocent so let's see we they want to find good authorities and leaders to work for but they have a natural anti authoritarian streak and when they when they feel like the authority is not looking out for their best interest what you'll see if six do is either he's either a rebel and go into mutiny mode and go into attack mode and questioning mode maybe if they have that five wing they'll go into that five when you know and and start analyzing all the information or they will go into the withdrawn you'll see them withdraw they'll just take themselves out they'll just quit the job they'll step away they'll back out they'll just feel like I need to distance myself from these people the six five by the way is called the defender the six seven is called the buddy so the six five you know it sort of has that idea like these beliefs and these institutions and these organizations they're all out to get us you know and so if we get aligned ourselves with these other institutions and these other organizations then they'll protect us and they'll keep us safe because they have our best interests at heart so the big food corporations they're trying to poison us and kill us and the organic you know industry they're trying to help us and keep us safe big medicines trying to poison you and homeopathic medicine is going to save you the Democrats you know or the Republicans whatever are the are trying to subvert our country and the other party is going to watch out for the little man and they're gonna protect our our rights and so you'll see six is looking for who they can align themselves with and those you'll see them on Facebook you know posting all kinds of of political stuff essentially what they're doing is they're saying hey everybody this cause over here or this institution keeps us safe and this other one over here wants to destroy our lives so if you want to be a part to destroy your life team then you need to go sign up with them but for me and everybody who's smart and everybody who's got any sense we're on the save the planet save America save the clean water and you're gonna see you know them sort of like throat groups this group bad this group this group's evil this group is good by the way sixes are called the sweet and sour type you know because you get two different faces you guys watch nightmare on before Christmas we just watch that in our houses time I make this video it's Halloween today so we watched it the other night that little mayor on Halloween town he has two faces that spin around he's a six okay he's got the happy face everything's gonna be okay and then he spins the scared face everything's gonna be bad everything is upsetting I don't know what sixes are like that they're sweet and sour they're hot and cold they're loyal they're a skeptic they're for you oh they're against you they're your greatest employees oh they're causing a mutiny sixes have that kind of like both compartments they want to be loyal but they find themselves being skeptical the six seven is called the buddy and it's it's that person that says hey I'm gonna I'm gonna be everybody's friend I'm gonna take care of everybody I'm gonna follow the rules and you guys are gonna take care of me right because I'm your buddy and I'm not gonna try to make you feel bad and and and be better than you we're all gonna be equal and we're gonna be friends and as long as we're friends then we'll all take care of each other and we'll all be safe together in the herd okay so herds a big I deal with sixes like if you like behind the herd the wolves will get you right and if you run too far in front of the herd the wolves will get you and so we need to stay together in the herd and we'll all be okay all right but it's all driven by fear okay all right so let's see what else we got here you usually support whichever team is the underdog they're very much into like the team I think sixes are very much into like the local team the whole team you know I live in Florida so you know if these are the people with the Gator shirts and the Gator hats and the Gator flag and everybody and their families Gator fans up in Kentucky where I'm from you know everybody's UK UK UK and look we all wear the same uniform right we all wear the same shirt so we all fit in we're all together right yeah you go home team okay we're all safe because we all cheer for the same team all right it's that kind of mentality you know we're all together in this right so everything's gonna be okay everything's gonna be okay we all cheer for the same team sixes are drawn toward underdogs and they're drawn toward underdog causes because authority is corrupt okay that's the idea although you may work hard you may not feel comfortable with success right because you don't like to stand out from the crowd you know that if you're successful you become a target and people become you know envious of you and suspicious of you and maybe want to do you harm I want to see you fail it can be dangerous and feels awkward maybe sixes will find themselves fighting against Authority and then when somebody tries to hand them that job of authority oh no no no no thanks no thanks no thanks so they may they may be a burr in the side of a manager and when that manager steps aside and everybody thinks well you know Nancy was has so many good ideas and Nancy has someone let's make her the manager only to find Nancy really doesn't wanna be the manager because then you become that authority figure that everybody then is suspicious of okay so even if things are going well you know what is the six Afraid of they're afraid the other shoes gonna drop so if everything is going great right now and everything's wonderful there's that sense in which the six is still kind of cautious like yeah but what about tomorrow you know the worst thing can happen tomorrow you never know so there's that fear like the other shoes going to draw and then it's all gonna go bad again okay so like my mom would always say know the bad side is now the bad side is we always had to think about the bad side now I'm a seven you know sevens are only wanting to think about the good side so you can imagine how frustrating it was for a seven to grow up you know in the home of a six because when I wanted to get a car all I could see was it's gonna be great freedom I get to go anywhere I want to go do anything I want to do yay car get a car of course what's mom say well now the bad side is and insurance and all these things I didn't care about paying insurance and you know mortgage are paying a loan on a car and and you know all that she wanted me to always think about the dark side the bad side I think that's just part of the sixes they can't help it they gotta think through the dark side the bad side while you often act from fear you may not always be aware that it is fear that's driving you you may just think that you are a planner that you like to keep everything planned you like you're just organized person but you may not be aware that it's fear that's behind all this so the dark cloud of fear you see is is over your head the dark cloud of fear is over your head so it keeps you on the run it keeps you trying to you know to analyze and troubleshoot all the problems and you just think of yourself as a planner and an organizer and somebody who likes to know the details but what you don't pay attention to is it's really fear that's that's behind it okay some people might view you as a pessimistic person pessimistic person because you you speak of what could go wrong or what's going to turn out badly but you tend to think of yourself more like a realist you wouldn't say you're a pessimistic person although you probably get that complaint sometimes and again it goes back to that idea of if we got a look at the bad side because if you know the bad side then you can prepare for it right if you know the bad side then you can be ready for it and you just can't help but noticing and often voicing potential problems but you see that as essential you you see that as being realistic and having the ability to evaluate evaluate pitfalls and plans so that those things could be prevented and that is a strength that is a good thing but just recognize that it may come across to other people as though you're kind of a negative Nancy there you go Nancy is our word of the day today I don't know why if your name is Nancy I'm sorry I'm not trying to pick on you but you may come across everybody as a Negative Nancy because no matter what we do there's always something that could go wrong and you you point it out and so people think I have geez you just slow everything down and drag everything down and find the holes and everything and you probably get that feeling like that people get frustrated with you when you're just trying to be helpful you're just trying to be helpful all right you often have a hard time making decisions because you can always think of another question to ask you can always think of well wait a minute now hold on what about in this situation what about in that situation so it can be hard for you to take stands at times you know you got to stand for something the one the one on the india gram is ready to take a stand you know do what's right do what's right the six is always saying yeah but what's right how do we you know that there's it can be hard sometimes to take a stand or decide on a course of action because you could easily find ways to doubt or question either that decision or even question your own thinking all right next you often can't help but taking a contrary in view or playing the devil's advocate again even if you don't necessarily believe it or believe maybe you believe in what's being said but you you feel impulse to like yeah but what about what about what about what about and ask your questions it's kind of like you want to find do this INRIA lee believe what they say and you can only know that if you test them and do we really believe in this plan before we step out we can only know unless we test it and so you want to challenge what the assumptions are you want to challenge what people say and do to see if it's really true and if it's what they really believe next your desire for certain he motivates you to look for for good information so that you can make rational decisions so you apply read reason and logic and data and you want to think through all these to come up to the best solution and you're probably the most intellectual the most logical of all the NEA grant types because you're always reasoning through potential problems which is ironic because then again you have the hardest time accepting your own conclusions at times think about the nine for example you know we're gonna make a new change at work or make a new policy shift or something the nine just goes yeah okay hmm all right what do you want me to do and then they do it are they worried that it's not gonna work out no maybe they should be worried a little bit more but the six you know they hear that new idea that new plant and whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa stop the presses you know we need to analyze it and sort through it and figure it out and you know so the nine probably you know comfortable with what we're doing and don't ask all those questions at times you know but the six feels compelled to to ask all those questions all right so last one you are good at rationally analyzing situations and are very insightful you enjoy examining things and solving problems and you tend to think outside the box looking for those solutions so I hope this helps you I hope it helps you get a better understanding of yourself and you know or the six that's in your life and realize last thing I could say is that six always have the it depends mentality so what's better red or blue well it depends what's the best time for the kids to go on lunch break 11:30 or 12:00 well it depends do you do you have to put you know mailboxes in front of every house or give a community mailbox well it depends everything for a six could be seen from well it depends and that keen awareness that the situations are complex and that there are contingencies in life that you can't always understand or forecast makes them very much realists and want to be prepared so I hope this is helpful to you I hope it's encouraging to you if you are a six and I hope if you're in a relationship with a six that you have some compassion on them and try to be a support to them and be patient with them when when they're asking a lot of questions or when they seem to be frustrated and just kind of hold their hand you know to work through situations because very very probably at some point in this relationship they're gonna be holding your hand the six will be holding your hand because they are the ones that have the the what you call it the first aid kit when you didn't think to pack one okay so you might have to hold their hand working through some of the enormous problems in life but what you'll find is if you will you'll find that they're gonna be the one that's holding your hand when the actual catastrophe happens okay and all right I'll see you guys later I hope this is helpful and as always be present to life and don't miss what's right in front of you because you're scared about what could go wrong alright see you later bye

Channel: Dr. Tom LaHue

Views: 26,816

Rating: 4.8740158 out of 5

Keywords: Enneagram, relationships, family, home, marriage, parenting, love, enneagram 6, enneagram six, enneagram type 6

Id: -qQdiMSjpOA

Length: 38min 36sec (2316 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 31 2019