We are three weeks into 2020. Can you believe it? I personally can't. We finally made it
to a new decade. And so much has changed. We have gone through
good times, bad times, that time when people
were eating Tide Pods. All those times. We were introduced
to new technology like emojis, new
apps like Instagram. And then people started
posting pictures of their peaches
and their eggplants, and the rest is history. We also saw some truly amazing
progress in the last 10 years. I am so happy to say
that gay marriage was legalized in all 50 states. Thank you, I invented gay. Shortly after that, someone
invented the cronut. It's a combination of a
croissant and a donut. It was anything goes after
gay marriage became legal. People were doing crazy things. I can't remember
everything that's happened on the show
in the last 10 years. But luckily, we have cameras
and we're filming things. So I don't have to. And since everyone's
talking about their top 10 moments from the
decade, I'm going to do something even crazier. I'm going to show
you my top four. Yeah, I'm going to skip
the six that you're like, OK, get to the top four. Hold onto your butt pads. My first guest ever
was Jennifer Aniston. And since she's been
here, she's been, I think 16 times since then. Yep. We've gotten closer and
closer through the years. Maybe too close, because
she let me do this to her. I got you something
that I was going to get for Portia because
her birthday was Monday. And I almost gave it to her, but
I got something else instead. So I'm going to give it to you. Oh, God. All right. OK. Have you seen these? What? What is that? Oh, God. Oh, God. What is it? Follow my lead, OK? Take those two things. What am I doing? You wearing a bra? Yeah. What, I put him in my bra? Yeah. Wait, I can't get in. Hold on, I'm going to expose
myself one way or the other. Hold on a second. Oh, no. Whoa! Yeah. Am I getting milked? What's happening? You can't-- it's a feel. Isn't it lovely? This will enhance you. I don't want to be enhanced. Yes, you do. I do? Dear female friends, you
have become our friends when you're reading-- Oh, now they're going
at the same time. I know. Isn't that wonderful? You know, she acted
like she wasn't into it. She took them home, though. They were gone. One of my favorite things
about this job is my staff. They make me laugh every day. This is a surprising moment
from our annual Thanksgiving monologue. Thanksgiving is a
big day for family. And one of the most
stressful parts is figuring out where to seat
the people at the dinner table. That is, don't you think that
that's the hardest thing? Because they're like, why
am I sitting over here when, you know. So today I thought I
would help you out. So here at the end of the
table we have grandma, because. It's a good place
for Grandma to be because, let's be
honest, grandma is going to keep talking
about "those people" and you don't know who
she's talking about. But you're pretty
sure it's offensive. So it's best that nobody hears
what she's talking about. All right, over here
we have your Uncle Bob. And he's going to have
Bluetooth in his ear the entire time, even though
no one is calling him. He was also on the last
episode of Dateline. So we keep him down here. Next to him is his
new wife Krystal. She's into stuffing, and
I don't mean the food. And your Aunt Melissa, who is-- Big fan. Thank you. Who usually brings
her roommate, but. I've never been able to
look at Troy the same way. When I started this
show, I had no idea the kind of lifelong
friends that I would make like George Clooney
and Julia Roberts and ALF. And also Michelle Obama. And when her new book came
out, I took her to Costco to sign some copies. All right. Oh, look. This is the first time I've
seen my book in a store. It's here. And you're going to sign books. We have Michelle Obama here. Michelle Obama. She'll be signing books. Free samples! Anybody want a free sample? What's your name? Here's a free sample for you. What is your name. What's your name? Michelle, what did
you put in here? Oh, my God. Michelle, you can't do that. Look at her. She does a lot of book signings,
so she gets a little, you know. That's crazy, you can't-- I'm sorry, don't even act
like that happened, all right? What's your name? Dina. What-- What did you? I didn't say anything. Oh. What aisle is the foot
fungus medicine on? Michelle is asking for
foot fungus medicine. I don't need foot
fungus medicine, no. So I came for lunch since
I got my [INAUDIBLE].. Are you sure you only
want the 30-pack? I don't need that
much toilet paper. I'm good. We're good. Why do you say one thing
to me quietly, and then act like you didn't say it? For those of you
can't get here, I'm going to read a
tiny bit of her book so that you can
see what is inside. He hugged her by the waist
and pulled her flush-- That's not-- [INTERPOSING VOICES] That's not my book. What book is that? I don't know. Start reading from my book. Emma, OK. Smell this. No. When they go low, we get high. When they go low, we get high. Put that down, you're going
to get that up your nose. And then you'll be sorry. Going to get up your nose. How are you guys doing? What's your name? Monica. Great. M-O-N-I-C-A? I won't say anything. Oh, my God. From sitting so much. Yeah, that can be a problem. No, we don't need this. No, thank you. And what's your name? What are you doing? Can't take her
anywhere, can you? When I say Michelle,
you say you Pfeiffer. Michelle, Michelle. You thought I was
going to say Obama. You got me on that one. All right, everybody. This has been fun. I miss Michelle. We miss Michelle. I miss the Obama's. We miss the Obama's. We hope Michelle's
foot fungus clears up. I don't have foot fungus. We love Michelle! We love Ellen! What you didn't
see is she ended up buying all of that
Preparation H. Finally, if there's one thing I
love doing on my show, it's hidden camera
pranks like this one. Well, our audience member
Heidi Ann is at Starbucks. She's wearing an ear piece. She's going to say
whatever I tell her to say. Heidi Ann, nod if
you can hear me. Don't say anything, just
nod if you can hear me. All right, and give
me a thumbs up, also. All right, I want you to start
guessing what they order. You know, just say hello,
welcome to Starbucks, and then let me guess your
order and just start guessing. Hello person in a silver
car, how can I help you? Hello person and children in
your car, how can I help you? Hello, hello, hello,
hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello. Hello, hello, hello. You do it with me and
let's harmonize, ma'am. I'll go hello, and you go hello. Tell her. Hello. You do it with me. I'm going to say hello and
then you say hello, OK? Hello. OK, let's try it again. Hello. Hello. Hello. How can I help you? Welcome to Starbucks, this
is Heidi, how may I help you? Can I get a venti iced
coffee with three pumps of white mocha, please? I'm sorry, can you speak up? Can I get a venti iced
coffee with three pumps of white mocha, please? Three pumps? Three pumps? Are you sure you
want three pumps? You sure you want three pumps? Absolutely, positive. All right. All right. Oh, I just ate so
much chocolate. I'm full. Oh, I just ate so
much chocolate. I'm full. I just smoked so much weed-- [LAUGHING] Like I said to Michelle Obama,
when they go low, we get high. This next decade is
going to be so much fun. And I'm going to
keep doing this show until they invite me on
Dancing with the Stars. We'll be back. Hi, I'm Andy. Ellen asked me to remind you
to subscribe to her channel so you can see more
awesome videos, like videos of me getting scared
or saying embarrassing things. Like ball peen hammer. And also some videos of
Ellen and other celebrities. If you're into
that sort of thing. Ah! [BLEEP]! God! [BLEEP]!
