- I want to ask you if you're
watching a show that I have been obsessed with.
It's called "Child Genius." Have you watched this,
on Lifetime? Anybody, yes?
[cheers and applause] Oh...
And if you haven't, find a way to start watching
from the beginning. It's a competition,
and it's about--get this-- child geniuses.
[laughter] Kids--they're amazing,
and watching them makes me feel both dumb and
stupid at the same time. [laughter]
They all have IQs above 150. I don't even know what
an IQ stands for, I don't-- [laughter] I know "DQ" is Dairy Queen,
I know that. [laughter] I don't know, they're like
12 years old, most of them. That's the average age. One of them is already taking
college classes. I'm 57, I still haven't started
taking college classes. They are smart in every area.
They have-- They quiz them--every week
is something different. Math, geography, memorization. One episode, they shuffled
a deck of cards, and the kids have to memorize
the order of every single card
in the deck. And they do it.
They remember 52 cards. Unbelievable--if I walk from
the living room to the kitchen for a pair of scissors, I forget
what I was doing in there. I've been telling everyone
on my staff to watch this show, and Andy, have you seen it yet?
Have you watched? - Uh, no, I've recorded it.
I have not watched it. - All right, well,
that's the important thing. I told you four weeks ago to
watch and you've recorded it, [laughter]
so that's good. All right, uh... Here's--here's--
Come here, Andy. I'm gonna punish you, come here. [laughter] [cheers and applause] We're going to have a little
competition, and we're gonna-- [audience exclaims "oh!"] We're gonna play a game... Look, there's two podiums. Who do you think you're going to
play against? - Some sort of child genius.
- Yep, you are gonna play against one of the child
geniuses on the show. Ryan!
Come on out here, Ryan. [lively pop music plays]
[cheers and applause] - Hi, Ryan.
- Hi. - How are you? - Ryan, hi.
- Hi. - Hi, I'm a big fan. I know who you are,
'cause I watch the show. You're how old?
- I'm 12 years old... - You're 12.
- and I'm in 7th grade. - You're in 7th grade,
and what is your IQ? - Um, well. My parents,
they told my brother and I that one of our IQs is 153,
and the other is 156, but they won't exactly tell us
whose is whose, because otherwise, we'll fight
over who's smarter, so... - Right.
And what are the-- Obviously, there's a lot
of benefits, but other than the obvious, what is the benefit of being
really, really smart? - Oh, well,
one thing that I really like is that I can prove
my parents wrong. [laughter] - They must love that.
[laughter] both: Yeah. - What is your IQ, Andy?
- [laughs] - I have not had it tested.
- No? - No.
- All right. I just want to show everybody. This is one of--
this is a math equation that Ryan was doing on the show. - Ryan, what is
39,553 + 2,302? - 41,855. - Correct.
39 x 7? - 273.
- Correct. 203 divided by 7. - 29.
- Correct, pen down. Calculate 14 x 2 - 11, and finally, multiply by 2. - 34.
- Correct. [cheers and applause] - Impressive. [cheers and applause] All right.
Here's--Ryan, watch this. This is a clip of Andy
trying to walk. [laughter] announcer: Here she is now, Ellen DeGeneres! [laughter] - All right, so... - Not nice.
- Here we go. - All right, let's go.
- [laughs] All right,
you've got a pad and pen, you might not need that. Okay, ready?
- Yeah. - Buzz in when you know
the answer. What's 7 x 7? - 49.
- That is right! - Wow.
[cheers and applause] All right.
This Friday is Friday the 13th. How do you spell... (sounding it out)
Tricks..a..phobia? (saying it wrong)
Tricksadeckaphobia? - That is right!
- That's right. [cheers and applause]
That's right. Good job! You had that. All right, here we go.
Math equation. - Okay.
- Ready? - Yep. - 412. ["wrong" buzzer noise] [laughter] - Yes. - 316
- Yes. [cheers and applause] - He didn't even do anything!
- Right. - He just said that,
that's right. All right.
Good guess, though, Andy. - Okay.
- All right, if 3 to the power of x times 9
equals 81, what is the value of x? - 2.
- That's right. [applause]
- Yep. [applause] - Andy, I'm going to ask
you something that's more in your world--
You're a big fan of the Los Angeles Kings,
right? - I am.
- All right, what is the Chinese word for "king?" [laughter] - Wáng? - Wa--Wáng? He should know, wáng. [laughter]
["correct" bell dings] [applause] How do you spell that, Andy?
- I don't know, but... I got the first one.
- Okay. [laughter] - Everyone knows that pi
is the ratio of a circle's circumference to
its diameter, but what are the first 10 digits
of pi? 3.141592653589793-- - Okay, yeah, got it. [laughter] [applause] - The score is 5 to 1.
- Yes. I have 17 Emmys.
- Andy? - Yeah, go ahead.
- I really want you to have a point here, okay? Don't ring in. Name 10 types of pie. - Apple, pumpkin, blueberry,
cherry, rhubarb, pineapple, mincemeat... - Pineapple pie?
- Uh... - Plum, key lime and
banana cream and raspberry. - All right.
[cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] - Two.
- Pineapple? - Two--uh, yes.
- I have never had a pineapple pie in my life.
- Nor have I. Nor have I. Here we go:
if a woodchuck could chuck 60 pounds of wood in 1.5 days, how many pounds of wood would
a woodchuck chuck in 6 days? - [stammers] [laughter] 600. ["wrong" buzzer] - 240.
- That's right. - Okay.
[applause] Fair enough.
- All right. - All right.
- Name-- Name three Kardashians and
Jenners don't count. Kim, Khloe, and Kendall. - (laughing)
That's right. Ah...
- Oh, oh... - Do you know who
the Kardashians are? - Yeah.
- Okay. The sum of three consecutive
prime numbers is 173. What is the largest
of these numbers? [buzzes in] - 61?
- That is right. - I don't know what that means.
- I don't either. - [laughs] - All right.
- Good for you. The score is 7 to 3
and I don't even know how you got 3 on there,
but anyway... You were the winner,
Congratulations, Ryan. For winning, you're getting
a 55" TCR Roku TV, and a $1,000--
[loud cheers and applause] and a $1,000 Game Stop
game card. - What do I get? - You get nothing!
- What do I get? "Child Geniuses," Tuesday nights
at 10:00 on Lifetime. And now, we all dance.
Give that back to him!
lol fuck this kids parents