Eldar Overview | Everything You Need To Know

I isander and I am kod and today we are going to be talking about the lar the lar or if you are part of gdubs marketing legal team the eldari with an AE yeah um which to be fair to be fair I've seen a commenter point out the very valid reason that things are hyper specific with 40K is because it helps you when you're finding things because if you try and find Space dwarves good luck narrowing that down at all however if you narrow it down and type in the leagues of otan you will find that you will find the Le single time so you know a it's easier for us to find it and B it's how they stay in business but however for the purposes of simplification Eldar eldari jukari whatever you want to call they're elves they're just elves they're elves in space because listen I could sit here and this is It's kind of the sin of 40K but not really because it's the joy it's why it's such a rabbit hole because you can just get sucked into it and no matter what faction you like there are characters with names and stories and lives that are really worth reading and enjoying however it's really scary when somebody asks about hey what do those guys do and then they get 200 proper nouns thrown at them and they are scared away clean so for the purposes of avoiding that we will just be its elves in space with a 40K twist to them it's really simple it's they have the usual trappings of fictional elves which is really really long lives that go on forever they're a bit taller than people a little bit lankier than your average person they're hoyi and toyy yeah actually um they have the pointy ears they have the whole nine you look at it's it's token's fault he's changed it's tolk's fault it always goes back listen before tolken elf used to be any Fay creature like you would have the wood elf the tree elf the river elf the the elk Elf or something I've heard they The Elves and nymphs were very very close they were eating each other's real estate for while it it was like a this is this is like a spirit of something yeah it was a general Vibe and then tolken really well tolken and then the wider fantasy just really hammered home what certain things are basically for all intents and purposes the Eldar would not die unless it was a workplace accident old age was not something that got them Meanwhile your average person who looks at an lar wouldn't really be able to process what happened there are lar who move faster than Marines can keep track of oh so your average Joe not faster than them faster than they can keep track of yeah and their brains are made to keep track of something let me be fair before the comments come in they're very specialized Eldar it's not every lar space marinees still sweet I know I know I know trust me I like the ultramarines I get it yeah I do uh but for the for the purposes of your average person they will beat you so handily and so quickly you won't be able to process it this has given them a little bit of a uncanny valley feeling in The Wider plot of 40K because they're very human in appearance you look at them you're like it's a guy it's a guy but the way they think the way they act the way they feel is very alien to The Human Experience so it's fairly hard to write about really well so while they do get screen time nobody's debating that the quality of that screen time no there there's a debate right there there there there's a a debate right there um from from the beginning if you look at it from a very specific angle it really does look like the lar were supposed to be the prot tags of the setting because they were they were created by this race called the old ones they are hyper powerful but vaguely Irrelevant for this episode I'm going to be honest they are the ones who created the Orcs the robots they are a big part of y4k is the way it is today despite not doing anything for the past ever well they didn't create the robots but they kind of it's kind NE necessitated the robots yeah yeah it's it's it's their fault in a way but before we get into that a word from today's sponsor you guys that's right uh that is how we keep this show afloat we are taking a page straight from PBS we continue with support straight from you guys so for all of you already on patreon.com isander Anda thank you very much and for those of you who don't know yet you can actually get a bonus episode there every single week ones that will never hit YouTube I think probably well some of them are impossible to hit YouTube yeah that's where the Salish episode hides no seriously oh man it's tough tough it's tough and honestly probably where the dark alar episode will go too but you also get access to the community Discord you get access to community streams and a bunch of other perks all while helping us keep all these lights on because that's there are quite a bit of them jarring thing to me to this day maybe more to be added so if you want more of what you already love and you want to help us keep going head on over to patreon.com isander andot for those of you already there thank you very much for those of you doing that as I speak thank you very much now let's get back into the beginnings of the lar when they had big Chosen One energy they were literally born to combat threats during a Time known as the war in heaven really cool name nobody's debating that such a cool name again vaguely irrelevant vaguely irrelevant what you need to know is this war was started by a bunch of cancer ridden kogin who got really mad when they found out two things a God is real and B he will not give you the cure to cancer so they decided to have a row about it and kill them over this pairing with Cosmic Horrors to do this it went about as well as you would expect however the gods wound up losing so well they were on the ropes they didn't lose outright so they created a bunch of races to try and to fight their Wars on their back stop them stop them stop them stop them stop them exactly each side was ramping with more and more Abominations over and over and over back then Orcs weren't the big menacing brutes that they are today they were larger and smarter too it was the Unholy combination of somebody who is tall fit and unbearably intelligent what do you do against that like either be a meathead that you know I can cope with that or be incredibly smart but like a breeze could kill you you know to be fair the Orcs nowadays even being Meatheads are still a problem yeah yeah back then it was a different it was like Dolph lungren running around basically who by the way just found out recently has has a PHD in chemical engineering and went to MIT looking like that to be fair to be fair when you're a bodybuilder you almost need to be a dietician to make it work it's a lot of effort it's a lot it's a lot of effort and some gear and some gear it's hard work too but it it things back then felt uncontestable and fair and they were no exception back then they were unparalleled psychers the war kept on Raging though and while the cosmic Horrors won kind of they wound up being counter backstabbed by those cancer ridden crogans and being sealed away so really the winners were the survivors and in this case it was the Eldar because everyone else was really not in a good state after that the Orcs had the brains beat out of them and who else did the who else did the old ones create well the the necrons were also the the Frontline Force so they just lost by virtue of being the guys in the trenches they had to go and hide meanwhile the Eldar while everyone else was waning the Eldar were very much so waxing and it was a major problem for everyone but them for them things were great I mean if you're the necrons they hid they away they went away out of fear of the aldar and a few other things they went nappy poo but if you were the Elder at this time things were great terraforming had been mastered medicine entertainment it was a golden age that nobody except for maybe the imperium's gone things were great they were Canon Unstoppable they had more worlds than the Imperium has ever had they were him yeah nothing was a real threat even death was just a it was just a mild inconvenience they they were they had it all however go try and grow anything without a little bit of rain and you will quickly discover that for things to flourish they do occasionally need pain every now and then you know every there have you ever read a story and enjoyed it where the protagonist is born life is great life is great life is great and then they die come on there's got to be some struggle there's got to be some Strife only Victorian age novel go that that bland yeah exactly if if there is I am of the opinion that's because the victorians were living the chaos they needed they needed the escapism they needed the escapism I'm of the opinion and maybe it's because you know everybody has to cope somehow this might be my cope but suffering is what gives life its meaning it's the thing you have to struggle against because without it it's just empty it's really hard to to cherish something if you know it's going to be there forever and ever and ever amen you know you you'll take things I mean think about it in our mortal lifespans we take people for granted who will die and that's unknown it's not like oh you know maybe he's gonna no they everyone you ever know and ever will know will die everyone is shuffling towards the end of the Mortal coil and we still take them for granted this is your reminder call your grandparents so if if that can happen to us with our rather fleeting lifespans because Hest our trips on this rock they don't feel as long as they actually are imagine what it must feel like if everything was never ending there is nothing is fleeting anymore it's going to be great like think about it you have 500 years where food will just arrive at your door every day you perfectly have a six-pack without any effort it never Reigns ever ever things are great for those first 500 years you're going to take up model painting it's going to be great the pile of of Shame will no longer be gray you'll be able to do water bases and they look good but then what I'll finally get through my YouTube watch later playlist and then what and then what you you have no reason to leave because everything just arrives at your door you'll never get sick nobody ever you ever know will die if you ever have a minor disagreement with someone like your neighbor he's Immortal that petty grievance will continue for the next thousand years and eventually both of you are going to get bored it really really gets old not fast but it will get old and So eventually one day you'll be out and you'll think we haven't tried the weed whacker in the bedroom yet the weed whacker why not I have this is the 10 millionth time I've mowed this lawn why not that's at least new maybe it'll bring an end to things so weed Wacker okay and so it continues it goes from the weed whacker to the toolbox and any harm that is done will be fixed later so it doesn't matter it just keeps going and going until what started as a morbid curiosity fueled by boredom just became sadism there's really the only saving grace for the Eldar at this time because they were doing a lot of stuff they were they were painting the town red um is the fact that effectively you weren't doing permanent harm to anyone they really had medicine down pat they really had death down pat it it doesn't matter if you brought a jackhammer in with you he's gonna make it it was not at all a problem it was not a problem at all you said they were painting the town red listen I know how this story ends no they were painting this town peppermint oh oh I hate that this is the curse of you knowing 40K this is The Curse Of Me Knowing 40K regardless under the weight of this ever continuing spiral of I mean there's no really word for it spiral no no sin it's just under the weight of all this sin everything collapsed in on itself and out popped the single thirstiest God or hungry oh no it's thirst oh no this is this is thirst Oh no I got the title wrong it is they who thirst yeah it's she who thirst they it's whatever it is it immediately killed 8 in 10 lar off rip there was no chance there was no debate there was no consent to be seen for light years it was just immediate and it wasn't just the Eldar who went but Pantheon the panon didn't do well either slanesh got the gods too well much like yours truly gods in 40K are fueled by clout it's it's very real the more followers you have the stronger you become and if we lived in 40K for example I'm fairly certain things would just start floating around Mr Beast at this point it's it it's really funky how it works there's a reason people think the emperor could become a God after the 10,000 years of worship he's had and sacrifice too and the elar are no exception they're actually very psychically powerful which is part of why they were able to create a God out of debauchery but that also means they're able to create Gods out of other things you know War healing that entire Pantheon that overnight lost 8 and 10 of their subscribers to slanesh immediately without any say as it turns out for our video essays are really hard to beat with that happening what can one do except Fade Into Obscurity which is what every single one did getting decked one by one and just being footnotes in history with with a few exceptions their God of War went down swinging obviously um I mean it's God of War their laughing God pulled a buzz the good old buzzer hand trick so he got away with it too so he those two made it there's another one their God of healing she wishes she didn't make it it's yeah it was it was that would have had to be like a thinking about it that would have had to been a a really hard fall because the lar were using medicine to get away with all of their debauchery which means she was powerful oh yeah and then to be taken down that far all their God let me be clear all their gods were hilariously powerful they were so strong there some theories around that they may have been super weapons in of themselves they all their gods were potent threats it's just hard to contest with something that would wind up so you know the way the Galaxy and 40K is ripped in half right now mhm the first tear in that sheet of paper was sesh's birth yeah so it's really hard the eye of teror was single-handedly just like that yeah it's really hard to contest something that fundamentally Alters an area's physics forever cuz that thing's not closing if anything it's gotten bigger and that's why the Eldar are so nomadic today because you have to understand it wasn't just the death of 8 and 10 aldar that that that's a massive mortal loss that level of L imagine if eight eight out of 10 people you know pass suddenly that's a huge deal that's a huge everyone on plan but it was also their spiritual death too because with them went their Canon Gods so slanesh beat them on every level imaginable and to this day every time an Eldar passes and you know the soul begins to levitate from the body a few inches sles comes in with an Arko and takes it immediate every single time there is no lar safe from their reach no matter where you happen to be it's just like you go and then your soul just like it doesn't matter how Pious you are how chased you are the devil has a hotline right to you they know exactly where you live they know exactly what you think about at night and it's not a matter of if but when they will be there now they there are a few lar who saw the way the wind was blowing and decided to leave they wound up fine is Ish this is this video is is yeah this video is is um but everyone else every elar is traumatized that's that's that's going to be the running theme as we go over all who wouldn't be yeah every every lar is traumatized but the ones who are the least traumatized of the bunch are the ones who went out on Exodus before things went crazy becoming exodites if you really want to boil them down I mean the tin you can you can tell what it does based on the tin it's games work shop you can see the name and go okay I get it yeah but if you really want to boil them down they're basically elf Amish if you really want to boil it down further it's 40K excuse to have wood elves that's that's why they exist is that why their armor looks bony no you're thinking of I think you're no no there's another thing called wraithbone and it's a whole thing it's a whole thing that's not why they they look like wood elves traditional wood elves you'll know them when you see them because they also ride dinosaurs listen oh yeah they feature in the infinite and the Divine trason and Orin just spend the entire book screwing with them they're great but yeah they they get to ride these massive they basically turned their backs on technology because we've seen where that goes we have seen where winning the long game goes so now we're just going to focus on on survival and we're going to fight for that basic right because it's they had won the war in heaven not through sheer strength but through their tenacity through their willingness to survive despite it all when when the rubble settled and the dust passed it was them who was left standing so they believe that getting back in touch with that is the way out and so they're not completely bass Awards but they're pretty relative to the rest of the Alo they're pretty far back I mean the modern lar aren't really writing dinosaurs yeah they're using projectiles not shuriken casters and these guys hunt for their food they function on it's it's tribes they're not an entire unified faction it's very much so no day is guaranteed you must earn every single Sunrise it's really cool stuff and not just because they're El riding dinosaurs though that gives them so many points this I that gives so many points I really love how silly 40K like 40K is literally like seven-year-old me mashing uh um uh action figures together Knights In Space elves riding dinosaurs this is like a 7year old's fever dream and I love it it's great I love 40K I I love it when they jump the shark deliberately cuz it's you have to take the Over the Top If 40K wasn't over the top it wouldn't be half as fun no and then sharks the space sharks it's like if if shark boys started taking Tren that's an image but yeah not a wrong image either I I love if you don't yeah no 40K without the over-the-top nature really loses a lot of its fun it really loses a lot of its fun um the ones next up are the closest to what the default lar would be like at least they certainly think so who are the dark alar I know I know a little bit about these guys already yeah uh they are if if you if you were to meet an aldar in the moments before slanesh popped up they were behaving like the dark elar they were they were the they were the guys who started with the weed whacker and you don't want to know how that end up ends up and I don't think YouTube could let us tell you how that ended up yeah YouTube's been great for us I don't think we could cover the jari well that one's that one's pushing me yeah they they have a very CU like I said the the Eldar are very alien in their own way they don't have the Human Experience what me you experience the deepest trenches of depression and the highest highs to them are Melancholy they experience emotions on a infinitely wider scale so when an elar sad oh that's got some impact and when anelda is Happy Well it's also got some impact too you pair that with the fact that they are massive because you know your average human is is a psycher no they're not a psycher but they are visible in the warp it's why chaos is constantly looking at them Tower basically invisible lar glow really brightly Elder all glow really brightly so you take all that to together and it's what gave us the perfect storm that was the birth of an entire chaos God nobody else has done that everyone else has fueled chaos Gods but nobody's outright created one except for these guys and the dark elar were in this pocket of space called kamarro which is isolated in the webway which the whiteo of itself is such a good thing for the lar everyone else really struggles to go faster than light it's a gamble it's 50/50 at best not great there's 101 cutcenes of humans having a rough day just trying to get to work and if the demons don't get you there's a chance you'll arrive at the wrong time like a thousand years too late that happens sometimes the Eldar through the webway get to travel for free anywhere faster than light because it's not quite in the warp but it's not quite in the material around I'm either it's this Labyrinth right in between and that's where these guys were when slach popped up and it's because of that that they managed to survive SL still touch them but like I said it doesn't matter where you are if you're an lares has had an impact on you yeah she they have their big meaty paws on you there's nothing you can do about that and feeling this because I imagine it your your day would change if you suddenly felt Satan's hands on your shoulder forever they said about trying to fix this and while they were thinking of a solution they well you don't want to get bored while you're thinking I need to think so come on bring out the guys let's Flay them but these were the Eldar right beforehand they need to pass the time they need to think I need to clear my head ex sanguinate him bring out my thinking flade exactly and as they use their thinking flade they realize the grip lightened up a bit somehow by exacting suffering on others they can stall for time and so they doubled down everyone else took a step back after sesha's birth and went right let's rethink things a little bit maybe we should start using protection that that was the General consensus post slanesh these guys tripled down they said skins too much protection oh no it's it's it's not great oh that that's an image right there there are God I want to credit the novel but I'm forgetting right now but there's a scene where somebody strikes a deal with the dark elar and they completely rip him apart while he's still alive ex sanguinate him put them back together better and then move on I mean to be fair he was helping them out so and think about it to get away with what they get away with they still are very good at medicine they I don't think it's an exaggeration to say the dark ELD are probably ironically enough the best doctors out and about probably because they some of the displays they have are they have a guy with his bones separated from his musculature separated from his nerves separated from his skin like you know those those um oh I'm forgetting the word you know those Museum pieces where they take something and then they they they cross-section it and blow it up they they have one of those with a person and every layer of a person and he's alive oh God he's alive some God that's how good their medicine is the definition of a if you look up a mortal wound a human in that position is probably going to pop up their nerves have been separated from their everything yeah it probably sucks but he's alive the entire time mm yeah no thank you they probably don't believe in anesthetics so you really don't want a dark lar doctor but they could probably fix whatever's wrong with you so listen listen listen listen when I was a kid I had like a cavity so bad I had an exposed nerve a single exposed nerve and that was bad to have all of them exposed MH and this is how they avoid sesh's grip by constantly inflicting the worst you can imagine on people like let's make that guy Shuffle on his knee on the floor made of cheese graders should be funny and and that's what they get up to on a daily basis there's very little you want to be caught by in 40K these guys are at the very top of that list I would rather be caught by any Space Marine chapter than these guys listen at least the tyranids will just eat me quickly yeah probably worst case scenario you get like alien acid spat on you that's pretty bad but you know the get creative they can make you into Furniture everybody's so creative wow look at how differently different this is yeah and that's before we even get into how they choose to decorate their city which is it gives Vegas the deepest sense of Envy I mean from the fact that the architecture doesn't need to make sense because these are Eldar they are very Advanced so they can have buildings at a 90° angle and it's just fine and it's like oh wow we haven't seen that before that's pretty neat and in every floor of every building unspeakable acts are happening it's just the worst you look at their city and you look at the art for it yeah that tracks it's menacing literally all it needs is maybe a sphere blinking every now and then and you'll know where it is it's it's not great uh they are fully impossible to cover in YouTube at least if you want to do it properly it's almost impossible and they are not the only ones to have made it because the running theme for the rest of the aldar is just going to be how do we Stave off slanesh because yeah uh you've seen how the Hicks do it by completely abandoning technology you've seen how the heathens do it by doubling down tripling down quadrupling down even um and then there are the craft world who have a more moderate approach they're very they're very aesthetic they're very they have turned around from their ways before and a big reason why is because the original Craft World Eldar lived on these massive ships that were sent out on long slow Journeys and because these Journeys took so long the ships had to be able to sustain life all by themselves they had to be self-sufficient almost like a planet with boosters on it they're generational ships except the elar lives so long it's not generational oh well never mind it's it's a generational ship for people who will live for generations and so these guys went out and when they came back what are you guys doing with a weed whacker whoa when did we get here and so while everyone else was cuz it's the whole frog and boiling water thesis everyone else was just in the water as it got warmer and warmer and warmer these guys weren't in the pot at all and came back to it boiling so they they skipped town immediately and took anyone who was still vaguely sane with them which is good because they avoided the worst of sesha's birth but some of the craft worlds did get got in that big explosion because it was a massive explosion eight and 10 and to construct a craft world was a feat of engineering even for the prime Eldar so the modern alar really don't like losing these things they're pretty much Irreplaceable fun fact though it's one of the few things the Imperium will not immediately swing at really ho yeah out of respect for the lar or out of I don't want to swing at the bee's nest Eldar and the Imperium have a very interesting relationship because they both really hate chaos but the Imperium hates anything that's not humans and the Eldar look down on anything that's not Eldar so they don't hate each other per se but if chaos didn't exist they certainly wouldn't like each other at all you know that doesn't mean they don't fight CU they they do they do they oh they do I know the Imperium well enough to know they'll start something however they will also work together fairly often and so to take out a craft world would put you on every other craft world's list immediately and for that reason you don't want to do it B the sheer amount of resources it would take because these craft worlds are it's not just a floating Planet it's a fortress that's alive it's like poking the bees nest it really would be just kicking Hornets sure you could do it the Imperium has almost infinite resources they could put their full back into it and take out a craft world but then everyone else in the Galaxy would just look at them I mean think about it they're dealing with the actual bugs in the corner right now they don't they can't full send in one they can't if they can't afford to do that because they're constantly fighting everyone if they were to focus down one they would a shoot their only tenuous Ally at best in the mouth and B immediately make themselves a Target to everyone else including the other floating craft worlds so they just they leave it be they will deal with craft world fleets as they show up because they still hate the elves because they're really pompous but they will not deliberately go after the craft worlds It's actually an important point because if the Imperium knew where the dark eldar's main city was they could probably take it out too but again it would take just so much spine to do it that they would leave themselves defenseless in the process or at least vastly weakened when already losing at every front I mean we've all seen the Cinematic of Gilman just seeing world after world after world after World they they can't afford it right now um they also the craft world aside from just really calming down really really keeping things vanilla for the rest of their living days uh they have these things called Spirit Stones and their whole gig is just to suck their soul out the second they die and just store it there faster than and slesh can get to it because she who thirsts it's kind of like um it's kind of like a a the same thing is the people who are like paying like however much money to freeze their bodies until we have like more advanced medicine but the spiritual version of that yeah yeah so that's how they get away with the whole slanesh problem uh the craft worlds though still have to deal with the physical threat of chaos because it is a very physical threat um I think my favorite story to show how beefy craft worlds are as as a whole the ship is there is one that did not immediately it was just far enough to not get blown up when slanesh spawned in but not far enough to escape the Event Horizon and so it was stuck orbiting the eye of Terror for thousands of years and it was fine yeah they they held out the entire time huh to be fair there are whole sections of the ship that are just sealed off full of demons so I wouldn't say fine but they still managed they survived they survived altered forever slightly paler and very pragmatic but they survived so that that goes to show part of why the Imperium would need to try very hard to take out one of those it's not impossible it would just take a lot of effort the next stop on our list are the harlequins who Escape sesh through comedy gold they have a whole episode already and they worship the laughing God who together with all of that kind of just gives them a theater kid Vibe if you really want to boil it down they they move in in these things called masks and they put on performances which are very lethal for everyone involved and there are not too many of them but those that do exist are mortifying I mean at their the highs of the harlequins are things that could prob probably go Toe totoe with custodes without losing immediately which is a whole thing yeah the co the custodies are something else yeah they are the guys who guard the Canon black library and are focused on setting up the funniest joke on 40K I'm not joking it's this thing called the Final Act and it is a massive it's the punchline that to a joke that has been building for thousands of years that will kill slanesh somehow they are literally God's silliest clowns preparing to act out his funniest joke yes on sles specifically where they they will somehow get sles to use all of their power to save the alar instead of killing them how that's going to play out nobody knows however that's the vague plan what does matter what we do know is they recruit from all the subactions of alar you can they will go to craft worlds and take people well not take it's pretty willing they'll go to Dark Eldar and take them too they they recruit from a very wide what I could just I could just imagine that in my head just like a harleyquinn going to like the Dark Eldar listen listen listen we're looking for a new role in our in our performance um but none of us are willing to wear leather can you oh they've got that in the bag can you you got us okay sweet they have leather pillowcases they have that in the bag uh the man bag the human bag yeah they have that too the the the the thing of note about them the most remarkable thing other than their incredible weaponry and the Warriors they have is the fact that despite how holier than thou every lar is they will stop and listen when the harlequins speak they may not do what they say but they will hear them out they will at least sit down and go okay what what are you what's the deal here and then they'll decide from there pretty much nobody else can get all the lar to agree on something like that so they fill a very fun and unique role and they also have a very fun aesthetic that I'm very fond of it's very silly it it really is despite however how powerful all of that may sound to you they suffer from the same curse that most lar do which is being vaguely relevant because at at their best their relevance is questionable I mean it's maybe they were involved there maybe they were involved there at their worst they're doing nothing at all nothing that matters the bright side of it though is whenever slanesh tries to come and grab their souls kraak arrives with a boxing glove arrow and takes it so that's good for them they instead get to join the Laughing God in he jumps in front of them with a pistol and sles is like oh no please don't shoot he shoots it bang it's just a flag that says bang and by the time by the time SES has realized that they haven't been shot he's already gone with soulin to yep that's I love karak so much kar's great uh next up on the list are the ones who kind of break the trend of being vaguely irrelevant and they're the newest ones on the Block the yanari or the reborn whichever you want to call them they worship the Eldar god of death and they have really lofty goals it's part of why they're actually really relevant kind of they don't they don't just want to survive they want to thrive why should we be focused on just making it we've already done that we've made it let's see how far we can actually go and so they want to win the war against Lanes by any means necess necessary and they're willing to call in a whole God to win this war slas has had it way too good for way too long at WrestleMania it's something like 27 now somebody needs to stop them and so they are really focused on trying to bring this God back with actually multiple plans to do this this has led to them kind of feeling the same niche as a harleyquinn where they're uniting a bunch of Eldar because they're offering a way out they have a couple of ways out and so even some Harlequin have abandoned The Mask to go or abandoned their troop to come yeah really mhm some have left for the Inari a few I thought the harleyquinn gig was like you're there for life to be fair it's a really good gig it's a really good G but this is a new thing nobody's ever offered this before I mean the clown karak already survived slash so we know that one works but nobody suggested bringing in a new fighter because we already know karak can't win mono imano that much is known I mean he's been doing really really good but he's not winning so why why don't we try something new maybe get him get him some help let's 2v one this yeah however the detractors of this plan um think it's utterly impossible and kind of insane because plan a is either bring this God back by gathering all of the Infinity Stones in this case are called Crone swords and if all of them are assembled with a little bit of magic out comes new God it's really good very convenient I quite like that downside is the last of those knives is sesha's favorite kitchen knife stored in their bedroom so good luck getting that and that's plan a that's the best plan Plan B is what I know you're all infinitely curious about so there please uh take a seat and I will explain it to you but before that could you please uh sip the Kool-Aid I poured for you that'd be great H the answer is Jones town the answer is Heaven's Gate every Eldar has to die and then in theory on paper the god of death will come back and bring them back with him however that's a hell of a gamble that's that's a hell of a gamble an extremely huge gamble yeah you can imagine why that's a hard cell for the rest of the Eldar yeah you want us to do what you what these are the people who don't want to sacrifice a craft world and you're telling us to all jump off the cliff together no no listen are we Eldar or are we Lemmings exactly and so even though it sounds completely insane both plans sound completely insane um Plan B sounds more feasible than plan a because here's the problem here's the problem with plan a nobody's broken into sl's home and made it out nobody's ever completed a home invasion there it just it's not how it works there's so many layers of protection and you'd be going where they're strongest it really wouldn't end well for anyone and it hasn't ended well for anyone Plan B has worked on one person huh Gillan oh yeah the zeldar are the reason we got gilan back so that's I know they had to kill him to bring him back but they the Eldar outright killed one of the emperor's Sons they did that through his through their god of death yep huh and a little bit of there there's a little bit of help from other people too but it was it was their God that brought them back so it's worked once and it's worked on a demigod so that's that's a it makes it seem doable right that's something to put on the brochure at least exactly like you know it's not that bad it's cherry flavor drink it come on exactly the the that's the upside to it the downside to this is they brought back a Primark a that's a massive buff for the Imperium who are not their friends they're just not their main enemy and B Space Marines have this fantastic habit of walking into a room and every Spotlight immediately like turns to them forcibly without anybody saying anything else as you can imagine their dads have this effect on a massive scale so the moment Gilman was brought back they damned themselves to irrelevance because nobody cares anymore I'm so sorry there is not an lar model you could have released that could outsell The Rebirth of Gillan first of all it's one of the best models out there and that's a lot of bias talking I know but B they'd have to refresh the entire lar catalog to maybe outs sell a Primark coming back I think to bring them to relevance they would need to they would need to confirm the Gillum andrain allegations via a mini a custom mini that that would make them relevant again oh God and and on the topic of the Eldar minis too it's it's pretty tough for them on that front because some of their molds are so old the capier is looking around now yeah they they they have it's it's gotten better it's gotten better they've gotten newer ones but there's still a few floating around that are so old they can drink vote and drive there's some that can run for the house oh my God yeah it's not great it's pretty tough so when you look at all of that and then you see Gilman enter stage left okay yeah they're done they they were finished they've gotten a few short stories they've gotten a little bit of stuff but ever since Gilman came back and they helped him out they've kind of just been in this holding pattern of well we either convince every elar to die or we steal sl's favorite kitchen knife and I don't know how we're going to do either of those things I have to I I have to I have to think that with how wacky and weird and wild slanesh is like whole everything is that their house has to be the most like Bol Norm suburbian like Barbie's playhouse level like small house just like it has Hedges the hedges are pretty well trimmed you know it's it's got two floors that's nice ni's house not everything that surrounds them I think that's the funniest reality that could I I could totally see that all the things you have to get through and then you get to sl's house and there's just like a Toyota Camry parked out front maybe that's why nobody body leaves cuz slanesh is just like oh you're here listen I just finished baking like a pie and there's a casserole too you want to come over for dinner and then they just stay over like she's got a guest room and they just all just like Pile in there I promise you right now you do not want to eat anything slach gives you at all are we talking are we talking Sweeney Todd's meat pies or I'm talking it would make it would make what Cosby did look like a little leag game you do not want any of that on so many levels you don't want that that's like I would rather go into a boxing match with corn than that that's terrible the moment you brought food into this I knew it was going to be over because I don't want anything there cooking you wouldn't you wouldn't you wouldn't eat sesh's human being C casserole nope you do realize the dark gar have turned someone into a living sentient soup as they were being drank yo and those are the rookies that's the minor leagues oh my God that's not that's not the Hall of Fame that's not the 10 time that's not Tiger Woods in his prime that's just what the kids are doing at recess this isn't messy running around dude it's bad you don't want anything to do with what slesh would consider Cuisine let let me just say that so I'm guessing you're not uh subscribing to the everybody's just stuck in sesh's guest room because it's just it's just a nice place theory no no I heavily don't ascribe to that let me tell you that for free I'm the opposite of ascribe to [Laughter] that but yes The Rebirth of Rumble buff and counter punch has been very rough for the lar cor lar yeah it's it's really not great it's also made a little bit rougher by a guy named eldrad who is the single most gifted of all the lar a pyer possibly the strongest pyer in the entire galaxy is he recent because his name sounds like a contraction of Eldar Chad no no no he's actually Fair he's really old so eldrad is not a contraction of alar Chad no but I do want Giga Chad out of him now that's what I will say yeah he's he is Canon one of the strongest psychers ever or so we've been told he could at least in the alar he could be be one of the strongest psychers in the Galaxy he's this thing called a farseer that means he can see the future the Eldar have a few of these but he's been able to see it with unparalleled accuracy by his hand he's diverted entire orc Wars to save craft worlds huh mhm that's that's powerful it's it's really powerful he's killed millions of humans to save a couple thousand alar they really value their lives yeah they really value their lives because they live so long I mean to be fair the humans really don't value their own lives yeah they're okay with it that guy was 12 anyway moving on the Elder don't care guy was 12 anyway moving yeah that guy's not even experienced life Joe's 500 years old he's the best painter we have we can't lose that let the toddler go oh the the yeah nobody's good in 40K nobody's good in 40K he has also beat Chaos's champion in hand toand combat yeah and the only reason that there is a path to bring back the god of death today is because he tried to jump start it early and could have succeeded yep he almost what do you mean by jump started early uh he he he was trying because it's it's been known that the god of death will come back when all of them die right but he was like that's stupid no I don't want to die so let me try and uh jump this a little bit and he did a massive ritual on a moon that immediately got the imperium's attention because it was a huge ritual and so the Death Watch descended on him oh yeah at Mid ritual by the way to bring back this God and he was like no wait please stop Jesus I if you let me finish I promise you sles will die and the Death Watch just said no they didn't listen to that no they did not they did not care at all and so the ritual was interrupted however it did kind of bring him back it brought back enough of him for the god of death to start seeking out a champion which then led to yrain who then brought back Gillman so he's a really big deal yeah eldrad is a really big deal I would call that a big deal he's the poster boy for all the eldar's problems if you want to know what every Eldar fan Ms about at night you have to look at eldrad if you want to know what every single Eldar hater molds about when they see them you just look at eldrad because he is unquestionably intelligent unquestionably powerful and unquestionably arrogant it's the worst combination he will never ever get humbled and he makes the Emperor of mankind seem small and humble relative to him he's really unlikable he's really unlikable and when the story calls for it he can back this he walks the walk and he talks the talk baby he is that comma guy yes when he can dish it back when multiple Marines arrive he can alter the very Arc of 40 K's story and he's done it multiple times when the story calls for it h when it doesn't well he's in the corner no stupid alr's unimaginably dense sometimes to the point where he will see something that is almost obviously corrupted by slesh and not recognize it the guy who can see the future looks at Emperor's Children Go not yet H how H how H how how and now you see why Elder players Maul all the time how yeah this that's side of the coin that makes Eldar fans all the wonderful people in the legion who like them Maul the other side of the coin is when the story calls for him to be strong and he M rocks your favorite character just cuz and he's also also a huge huge sufferer of tell never show so we're told all of these things about eldrad all the powerful things he's done but the moment a Space Marine is on screen Don't Shoot Me yeah he fought off the death watch at least enough to get halfway through that ritual he didn't kill any of them Marines get all this hype and then they back it up it's why they're so beloved when Gillan was brought back he did not immediately run off screen and we learned oh the Imperium is now 2% more efficient he punched a Space Marine out of his armor he Juiced him yes and then he proceeded to turn the tide of a war alone and has been just a consistent Force we're not told about how smart he is we see it constantly we see him playing different political games knowing his limits he's genuinely good at governance and we get to see it we are just told at elrad is smart we are just told the Eldar are competent we are just told that they are on the brink we never see any of this and part of it is because with humans there's the inherent advantage of we've all lived The Human Experience you're living it right now it's very easy for us to write about am I I'd hope so oh God if if you're not I would be very concerned this whole podcast has had a Xeno to my left the whole time am I a synth oh God so it's very easy for us to write about human plates it's one of the reasons the primarchs are so well done is because they're demigods who are human they're grounded at their best all of them have have daddy issues without fail pretty much all of them and Gilman turns to his mom when he's in his darkest moments it's super duper touching and grounding stuff the elar never get that because they operate different they're fundamentally alien and so it's very hard to put them in a position where you can empathize with them it's also very hard to give them Stakes because think about the dark Yar right you give them Stakes something has arrived at their one home they either have to win or they're gone that's it the craft world there's only so many of them less than 20 I'm fairly certain if even one goes away that's a huge deal I mean to be fair that's not like a deep hole to write yourself out of the Dark Eldar could be like a roving band of like they could get be given a post-apocalypse Vibe where there's a roving tribe of like random BDSM elves out there already taken they're called the corsairs they're just roving Pirates that's unfortunate well see see which is unfortunate because Warhammer 40K writers are really good listen listen Okay I new to 40K the only book I've read so far is the infinite and the Divine I've watched centuries go by in that book and yet somehow somehow Tren and Orin still Rel remain relatable yeah like when when Tren watched like a millennia worth of like his Ancient Ancient Ancient Ancient ancestors like PRI not even prize possessions just some smoking pipes go down and smash to bits like he doesn't have a physical heart but I felt it skip a beat it's possible it's doable they need better writers is what they need I don't think they need better writers I think the problem is and I understand and and this is the very cynical part of me that can do do the math I understand games workshops perspective because we've tried we've brought back the lar you know we've really put them front and center but then a primarch was to the left of them and they outsold them by 10 leagues so we have amazing writers on our staff do we have them write another Gillman book that we know will sell out or do we have them Gamble and write an lar book that maybe people will buy and so that's part of the problem a lot of their best staff is really locked in with Marine stuff and I'm not complaining I'm not complaining at all however it it it's one of the most consistent gripes about the elars they kind of feel forgotten like they need a necron level almost Rejuvenation because the necron's got it really good with their Rejuvenation and they went from Terminators to whoa these guys are really cool they've remained one of my favorite factions since I started learning about 40K right and it looked like when you know the whole yanari thing was happening the reborn coming back Gilman coming back was like whoa they're getting their the IR relevant again there's a whole craft world with them too that's actually accomplishing things they got a reu rack and then the cycle continued yeah now it's gone I mean but hey I'll be fair I'll be fair they've been getting their models steadily updated um thanks to the Yari I believe now on the tabletop because it's a United faction you can have like dark alar working with regular alar and so you can have a really fun weird Army so that's that's a really cool excuse to do like mixed mixed armies right you can also have Harley quins in there too because they take from they yeah they also have really really cool art really cool art I've seen some of it I'm seen listen listen I get it I get it I get it yrain is a meme at this point mm but I do really like her outfit yeah no it's really the weird peacock aesthetic that she has going on oh it's great like the weird massive cat she has I didn't see the massive cat oh my God how have I missed the massive cat there's a lot about elar we didn't cover because this like I said it's the tip of the iceberg we didn't cover their Pantheon that could be an episode all to itself the dark elar are clearly an episode to themselves same with the craft world same with the exodites same with the Yari it goes on and on and on there's so much to them this was just more of a quick snapshot you could explain this to your friends and they'd get most of it this is the general gist of the lar and then from there you know you can do some digging on which ones call to you um personally I'm an I'm I'm an Imperium man however I know there's a bunch of you in the legion who love the lar and so you know everyone everyone deserves their day everyone deserves their day if that's your aesthetic that's your aesthetic regardless of how they constantly fluctuate between being the most relevant things to the least relevant things it's undeniable that they are a very very very large part of 40K and I really hope they do in the future get the the necron treatment the little just like jump start they need because they're I'd say they're really close there's a lot of cool thear was a very good start there's a lot of fun interesting things that they could do and I'd be very curious I mean I know it's going to kind of spite the Eldar a little bit but you know like we could we could afford to lose like one or two craft worlds if it gets you a a few books right if it gets alr's own Series right I think about it think about it your hero your classic absolute the classic hero's journey doesn't start without some random thing happening to make the hero go uh I need to do something about this and it doesn't continue without something along the middle to go oh I've been taking out and then make the impact of like some God coming to help them even impac tier you're totally right they need that kind of resolution and the whole Arc to them I I really hope they get it but also now there's two primar running around so the odds are looking slim for El I'm gonna be honest so unfortunate I love you all it's kind of tough elar lar they kind of have or lar X Primark when yeah huh lar X oh God I don't know maybe that could be no no no that brings an end to the episode beginning of the hero's journey that they need that is not the hero's journey that anyone needs it's a sentence tops regardless thank you so much for tuning into this episode we will see you on patreon for this week's episode and then we will be taking a week break for the holidays and we will return after that with the winner of the poll the last two options are the Navy and the dark elar guess this means you have extra time for the poll so if you Dark Eldar fans want to maybe try and rally because I'm sure the Imperial Navy is looking right now you've got that extra time I won't say anything but it's the Imperium is my answer and I've made this mistake too many times now I've learned my lesson I've learned my lesson I have so we'll see who wins regardless thank you as always for watching this video all the way to the end it's a longer one so no fracka just because is it's a long B frigid in here right now if you look closely this whole episode I've been vaguely shivering it's Arctic if you go back Studio I don't know how well this shows up on camera but I've been sit I've been sitting here and I've seen like the fog leave his mouth when he like exhales I'm mortified about the the state of the eyes that you may see this through because they could fog at any moment yeah just through sheer camera heat yeah regardless thank you so much for watching this episode and thank you as always for being [Music] you [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music]

Channel: Isyander & Koda

Views: 101,208

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Id: 8aNtbPGImM4

Length: 66min 47sec (4007 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 23 2023