Dylan Moran On American Stupid People | Universal Comedy

and then you know where else does the this is the new world you know and the other part of the new world is is America people think that's got a lot of promise still even though we're all a bit funny about Americans now a bit I think the reason that happened all that bad feeling about America is apart from everything that they've done it's because Americans stupid people sound stupider than every other kind of stupid some people I just think would you put up with them but Americans are annoying when they take because they say well you know I was just talking about one of those terrible incidents that happen every other day in America to say well you know I was there and the guy came in and he had like a gun you know and he was like shooting and everybody else was totally dead and divorced from reality somehow I think that's why this is Illin feeling about the place sometimes because of everything the administration is done you know it's like the really bad flatmate of the world I'm sorry did I break all your [ __ ] I didn't know your yeah I'll replace it sometime um with my stuff and cuz it's the only remaining Empire of course you have an empire once Britain had a great empire and impressively commandeered and sequestered from the rest of the world great style you just marched in and said you you and you [ __ ] off we're having Tiffin and everybody's on my top right now that's fine and talk centuries for people to go hang on a minute we live here the American style is totally different far more insidious this Empire is run on a totally different basis what America does is it has a nosy in some place some war-torn fucked-up place and that looks for oil at chocolate or whatever at once and all the indigenous people obviously get pissed off and they begin to meet they begin to ferment they bring each other up and say you haboob ah let's meet and ferment at six o'clock in the local bombed at cafe they gather round and they say one away god I'm good doing a pan global accent okay it saves time because the America gets around a lot of places what are we and this represents poverty hi how googa listen what we want to party buckle imperialistic the Yankee big dog huh oh they come in here they [ __ ] they look around they take our stuff what we couldn't I'm talking to you put down the beans listen water whatever it's Cochino from China via Brooklyn but the M and then when America does well these people are talking and very very gradually bills of Starbucks around and then they all become addicted to latte Ravel and then they turn into Americans after a couple of weeks the kind of people who come up to me and say hi I I'm Irish my grandmother was no Flaherty did you know her I always say yes yes but then again everybody did well that's a particular kind of American obviously the kind of Americans you see in Europe who often for some reason seem to be very generously proportioned and then you see them in museums blocking up the exhibits go what is this can we eat it where are we can we be here and yet when you go to America you see that it's a very very compressed cuz it's so competitive and everything people are ultra fashionable and very thin really I think the Americans you see in Europe are all the ones who stay in their apartments get food piped in and then they just shipped out to Europe and but the ones over there you see these amazing looking people they don't look real at all these incredibly executers women you know those people who look like they can't support the weight of their own teeth in their head they're stalking in and out of fashionable restaurants I don't know what they do in there maybe they just rub pesto on their legs or something you know they look like they're weigh as much as the photograph of themselves and and very fashion-conscious but people have this idea that it that it's still there the promised land you know somewhere like California which of everything is fruitful and under and abundant but Arnold Schwarzenegger is the Governor of California there's a perfectly ordinary English sentence coz I'll tell you you know how we got into that position he got there by lifting things no yume we avoid lifting things it's unpleasant especially everything's even a five-year-old child knows this I go no bucket no I'm gonna put Lego up my ass I looked in that no he took a different approach he lifted the heavy and you know you lift something when you have to be a no falls on granny he left the piano cuz clearly has mixed feelings about the whole situation Sunday lunch continues right over to the heavy thing I lifted it I put it back down and didn't move it anywhere and then he left hundreds of times and said to the people who had stopped to observe this aberrant behavior look how good I am and lifting everything in my underpants now that sounds a little dim but it was they who said you're the man you're the one we wanted to deal with immigration and water rates and taxes and all that kind of [ __ ] wait what we need to know is how bad was his predecessor at that job this must have been somebody who came to work covered in chosen blood every morning you

Channel: Universal Comedy

Views: 969,610

Rating: 4.815022 out of 5

Keywords: Comedy, Universal Comedy, Universal, Stand Up, Stand Up Comedy, Comedian, Stand Up Comedian, Dylan Moran, dylan moran stand up, dylan moran germany, dylan moran monster, dylan moran arnold schwarzenegger, arnold schwarzenegger, dylan moran black books, black books, dylan moran like totally, like, totally, dylan moran americans, american, stupid, people

Id: zmwv3Ujwpac

Length: 7min 12sec (432 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 17 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/Deaf-Hyena]

Love Dylan Moran. Have seen him a few times live.

Everything he says here is exactly what the rest of the world thinks of America(ns)

[u/ostapower]

St. Patrick's Day last week had me thinking about Irish comedians, and I realized that I only knew two off the top of my head, Colum Tyrrell and Aisling Bea. This led me down a Google wormhole and I found comics like Dylan Moran, Tommy Tiernan, and David O’Doherty. I wrote a post about some Irish comics on my weekly comedy fan newsletter that I just started and would appreciate a sign up if content like this interests you.

I would also appreciate recs for some other Irish comics I should know about!

[u/brianboozeled]

If you like Dylan Moran, have a look at Black Books. Moran stars and writes and the first few episodes were co written with Graham Linihan of Father Ted and IT crowd

[u/CH-OS-EN]

Thanks, i’ve seen black books maybe 4 or 5 times and i didn’t know he was doing stand up.