Dungeons and Dragons Best Memories

dungeons and dragons players over at it what are some of the most memorable quotes and experiences to come from your sessions one time our party was being teleported but we were over the weight limit one member had an awful nurturing child as her servant slave so i just shoved him in my bag of holding bags of holding only half 10 minutes of air we forgot the kid was in there for two or three sessions hahaha that's great i accidentally did extra damage to a captive because i forgot i was dragging her around by the neck i was playing a tiefling who got distracted easily i was playing a big meaty minotaur i back in 2e the group was my aunt my uncle and their friends who had made space in their serious adult group for me and my sister we were stoked to be taken seriously and dedicated to being serious players then my monk was baleful poly morphed into a bunny a bunny the adults were nicer than they had responsibility to be because we knew we were trying to not be little kids about things and i tried not to sulk while my tank hopped futilely around that's when it happened i was looking at the book reading the details of the spell and i realized that in that edition you gained physical movement abilities in armor class but it was a little fuzzy about your actual stats changing i asked the game master what would have happened if i turned into a dragon if i would have gotten that massive strength bonus he was juggling combat and distractedly told me that your abilities don't change only your movement types and your armor class so my minotaur had the same physical stats and unarmed attack roles right sure thing he said cool my turn came around and i launched my tiny fluffy self at the nearest bad guy it was a flat out slaughter i had an 18 stroke 88 strength because dice loved me then and i guess they felt sorry for failing my saved versus polymorph because i could not roll anything but hits the rest of combat the fight dissolved into a bunch of beating up party members laughing hysterically while the monsters were destroyed by an increasingly bloody bun even the game master was laughing it was the moment when i realized the adults weren't as serious as i thought and that a little silliness was not only allowed but encouraged the group kept playing through different games and campaigns until i left for the army and it fostered my lifelong love of rolling dice i pictured the monthly python bunny from the holy grail we convince the town guard that these are not the druids you are looking for my pal freaked out over the vog star wars reference got excited and spilt an entire red wine decanter over our table and handbooks at our next session he bought us all new ad end handbooks two bottles of wine and tippy style cups we continued to drink from those cups for months why play fourth when you can run cobb that's a good pal right there i was playing a monk and we came across a group of low-level monsters the specific kind escapes me but part of their effect was a horrible smell that you had to pass a constitution check i kept failing over and over which caused my character to throw up every single round the rest of the party handled the situation fine but i was just this poor dude in the corner puking his guts out never laughed so hard in my life constitution is the most important stat brother sigh okay i slit the cleaning maid's throat cousin what the frick what alignment were you again brother i'm true neutral that means i don't care if other people die cousin that's chaotic evil you psychopath a chaotic neutral is where psychopathy lies but the point is there and the story is funny d i walk through the door okay do you open it first laughter no i'm okay do a strength check i guess rolls nat 20 well i guess there is now a very orc shaped hole in that door oh yeah the gunslinger finds a circle that animates everything that is put in it the gunslinger tries to stab it and then has to fight his knife the barbarian throws a chair in it and gets grappled by a chair the alchemist lights a grenade and that is how my party burned down an orphanage they were hired to clear of animate toys one more because it's less of a quote and more of an experience so my half-orc barbarian has recently escaped prison by starting a riot this riot happened at the worst time because apparently some vampires attacked the city so the guard was spread thin once i got back to my team we learned we needed to find the mayor who was believed to be in the capitol building which was also the prison the prison i started a riot at because i believe the prisoners would let me back in no problem they were chanting my name because i told the guys i handed the keys to that ram dench freed them so i told the guard captain that i'd be happy to quell the riot he agreed as he couldn't sacrifice manpower to stop the riot and i was an awk of my word but when we got there however no one actually knew who ram dench really was one npc had the audacity to claim that i wasn't dench so down but not out i had an ingenious plan that went something like this me a spark in the distance isn't enough to attract attention but a fire will send everyone running to stop it dm that's a lovely metaphor me it's not a metaphor i need oil so that session ended with me starting a riot saying i'll fix the problem then setting the place on fire to force the guard to act it was a great day that's a lovely metaphor it's not a metaphor i need oil i can't breathe that's beautiful i mean really if you can't trust a psychic fish who can you trust said by my second edition paladin after our whole party was cursed because i didn't know detect evil was a thing we had this evil assassin character that killed a bard in this in brutal murder bloody as heck he then convinces a casual bystander to go and tell the innkeeper i took care of the music problem in room 205 messenger guy gets taken by the city guard and the assassin just walks away scot-free i don't know it was hilarious the way it played out i'm planning on playing a ce bard in my next campaign i may steal this you hear a shuffling from behind a statue and out of the corner of your icf figured out behind it i threateningly point my sword toward the statue and shout face my fury you scoundrel comma the statue doesn't respond this is my favorite type of humor honestly well done grams so i wasn't actually in this game but i think the story is too good to pass up the guy who regularly dm'd our games had been planning this scenario adventure whatever for a while and was obviously excited about it he was particularly excited about a certain evil wizard who was going to show up and kick everyone's butt in spectacular fashion the group played through and eventually at show time the dm gets excited and starts describing the evil wizards entrance no actual quotes but close enough dm a shining portal opens at the far end of the chamber and the evil wizard insert evil wizard name steps through and stares a challenge at the brave party of adventurers fernie it's your turn what do you do fernie is his portal still open dm well yeah why fernie i straight kick him in the chest back through his stupid portal dm okay roll for it i guess ferny rolls nat 20 obviously disappointed dm you plant a mighty kick in the middle of the wizard's chest sending him back through his own portal the last thing you see before the portal winks shut is the surprised and angry look on the wizard's face fernie did i win dm well he was supposed to stop you or at least make it hard to reach the end of this dungeon but his portal spell takes too much mana to do again anytime soon so yeah i guess ferny seems like a pretty crappy wizard to me dm smoldering if your dungeon is a cave and its slope downward then a barbarian can use their shield to sled down we may have triggered a lot of traps but it was worth it there's two way to deactivate a trap deactivate it activate it our dm long-winded narrative about this giant sentient tree entity that our group has happened upon me what is your name our dm hastily searches through notes i know i wrote down a name somewhere our dm frickit i am tree i have no other name for that is what i am and my name is what i am and i am what is my name tree oh crap recently our party stumbled across a moss-covered front who scolded the party for making a campfire in the forest and after a short back and forth we asked its name after a bit of page flipping and rummaging around the dm goes i have been called many things in the past as i do not have a given name you may call me anything so we ended up calling him anything mossman first time ig made for my friends they had to protect a traveling salesman named carolus he ended up with way more kills due to them rolling pretty bad we dubbed him careless wrecks first or maybe the second time we played dnd a low tier dungeon boss surrendered the lg paladin okay we accept his surrender ce monk i try to kill him he assaulted me me dm you assaulted him because you felt offended by the way he talked to you ce monk he assaulted me with words i'll kill him tries to attack boss paladin gets in his way and tanks the attack lasalk i attack the monk he tried to harm a weaponless guy that surrendered to us knee okay fine sock attacks monk cg bard i attack the monk he attacked my friend me are you freaking kidding me the singular demo session of 4e i ever played we smashed our way through this cobbled cave captured one of them ce rogue random 12 year old at the con i shank him lg paladin me no you don't rogue no i totally shank him me miming half drawing a sword number you don't dm panicking there will be no pvp in the demo game the absolute best one one of my players was a warlock and he asked another player for supplies and the other player asked him for something in exchange the warlock jokingly offered his soul so i encourage him to write it on a scrap of paper and give it to the other player what he didn't realize is that by promising his soul to another player he lost all of his warlock powers his patron gave him in exchange for his soul the other player eventually traded it back in exchange for the warlock being required to spoon him every night gently to sleep one time while deeming i gave one of my players the rock of gravity detection and it became a running joke for the rest of the campaign reminds me of the ring of teleportation which only teleports itself and not the wearer and the magnifying glass of ant speak at some point our paladin saved the life of a homeless man who then asked to be his wife the paladin's response was to ask him his name shingles em lord was the reply he got that's disgusting from henceforth you shall be known as craig or craigory for long he then proceeded to abuse gregory like only a foppish noble can craigory lay in the puddle so the lady doesn't ruin her dancing shoes craigory hold this shield and stand on the pressure plate craigory this displeases me strike yourself my dragonborn who has never met another dragonborn mistook another player's lizard character as one of his people another dragonborn hail scalabrother uhh hi i am castle son of the white dragon silmarinth i've never seen another dragonborn before tell me about yourself um um thrac son of thwack i guess i am a swamp dragon really my breath is ice what element do you breathe hum i don't know breathes in paladin's face he crit fails con and vomits i breathe disease kossel was by far one of my favorite characters to roleplay he was a fur trader who very rarely visited town and had no idea how anything worked his intro to the group was the rogue pointing out that the merchant in town had been massively underpaying for his furs and the party trying to track him down and get castle paid properly so this guy says the merchant spends all of his time at his manor or at the brothel cool hey castle want to go ask around at the brothel i'm not allowed in the brothel what why apparently only certain people are allowed to be naked there oh i also interrupted some form of jewel in the side room and everyone was angry with me his mother and dragon siblings were killed by a red dragon and he was badly burnt as a result he was terrified of fire his position on marching order was always as far from the torch as possible and he refused to sit anywhere near a campfire one day he discovered cooked food when the rogue tried to get him drunk and became obsessed he found a cookbook of fine recipes and it might have been a wizard spell book for all his understanding of its terminology and he studied it like one we caught one of the merchants henchmen and everyone needed a rest so castle volunteered first watch and grill this guy for four hours on the meaning of terms in the book you will tell me what i want to know i ain't telling you crap you will answer or i will freeze you slowly now what is the meaning of adding two tips of sugar comma what don't toy with me scoundrel what is a tibispend where do i get one are you daft very well where can i find a swordsman to teach me the art of finally dicing when the group got up to change shifts he volunteered everything he knew to get castle away from him reminds me of my dragonborn who grew up in an isolated dragonborn village she was so confused that an elf skin color didn't determine what type of magic it could do me i want to play a drow master you have three elves in your company me i'll wear a mask a cape and make a good story master okay two sessions later you find strange books in the necromancer's crypt they are written in some dark language only evil creatures can understand what do you do me i read them party facipam it would have been funnier if he had tried to kill one of his party members first then claimed that he could read the books after committing murder our party had successfully infiltrated our lithium's lair we made our way through death traps monsters and finally get to the big bad door before we knock we start prepping and my character and another's warrior in the party start having a philosophical debate as to whether or not we should kill the illithid i forget the details but after about 10 minutes of viral debating and everyone arguing the door opens and the elephant comes out and tries to interrupt us but we tell him we're not ready for him slammed the door in his face and continue arguing until he came out and attacked us so the gm could have some peace i let my players fight each other in gladiatorial combat they both agreed to not actually kill each other by declaring non-lethal attacks it ended with the half-orc getting knocked to zero surviving with relentless endurance and then executing the other player and claimed his head dm the party's rogue wanted to dig up a treasure chest he'd seen some pirates bury do you have a shovel como i have a crowbar and a can do attitude love the reply it's these small remarks that i love most about dnd just laughing my butt off over silly things that shouldn't be funny like digging a hole with a crowbar the first time i played d and d we were trying to have my character meet my friend's character in the beginning before starting on an adventure my character a female rogue was hiding in his character's closet at the end because she was trying to steal his stuff but he walked in at that moment over and over again he rolled for search checks and they kept being unsuccessful so he's searching and searching this tiny closet and not finding a whole but human being every time it was pretty hilarious i really miss that friend i was playing an elegrin druid in a campaign run by my sister and we had just met with a beholder who was hiding beneath the city in an old abandoned sewer system and it was taunting each and every one of us then it exclaimed that we could each ask it a question the fighter asked about his missing parents and the barbarian asked about the lady who had cursed him then the beholder turned to me taunting and sneering asking if i was going to ask something about my backstory since it was all knowing instead i looked it in the eye and asked a simple question do you bleed and that's how we fought killed and some of us died to her beholder however the reactions of my fellow players and dm made it all worth it one of the easiest ones i can think of is a friend's character always saying i eat it after the dm would describe something usually just the extra little detail things when describing a scene or something we had just found i think the one that really stood out was after fighting some infected looking animals the dm described pusing growths on the animal's skin he immediately shouted i eat it and the dm even gave him the are you sure and he went for it without hesitation that one joke started us on a path to hunting down a necromancer who had been infecting locals and nearby wildlife with a magical disease all because our cleric decided to eat animal pass bhaha that's hilariously disgusting and an amazing character quirk congratulate them for me for sticking to their character xdd ranger who had an alligator as his animal companion if i frick gatta's name when the party rests does that make me well rested ranger was also my supervisor at work and his wife was playing in the party too the scp foundation called they want crazy dr bright and scp 682 back in a post-apocalyptic land with a deadly plague one of the players was naturally immune to the plague when a group of holy warriors dedicated to seeking this chosen one found the group the bar chimed in and convinced them that he was the chosen one he is not next week they find out not only has he doomed civilization but the holy warriors will try to ritually sacrifice him i can't remember the exact situation but my first session ended with the female in the party failing a charisma save and falling in love with a little wall like the building structure freaking seducted by it we had just killed a dragon in a cave with a lake the dragon's corpse fell in the lake our rogue wanted to get its skull for a trophy the dm advised him it wouldn't get him any gold we developed a system for how he would communicate that he was ready to be hoisted out with the skull but it had a high roll and he drowned after the dragon fight trying to reclaim its worthless skull r.i.p gaffer and r.i.p friend who played him i had just traded a stack of comics for the soundtrack to batman mask of the phantasm back in 1995 my friends never heard the music before so the moment they rode over a hill and saw their objective i turned on the title cut which is this big dark choral music everyone gets very quiet player one maybe we should go back into town find another quest i love the opening theme to that film incredible arrangement i once had a touch spell charged but i didn't hit anyone touch spells stay charged until you touch something friend gave me a pat on the back and freaking died oh no allow me to regale you with the exploit known as tossing up the halfling my father told me his old dnd story is at bedtime one of my favorites has to do with his half or cleric grabbing the halfling by the scruff and throwing them into the air being an acrobatic rouge the halfling could land several shots with a crossbow while the rest of the party hid behind a wall for cover much to the annoyance of the halfling i'm going to have to remember this we have a gnome with a crossbow in a campaign right now that might be able to do the same we've already tossed her up to a second floor window during a cat burglary so early in the session my friend buys a spell that turned stone into gold we all said he wasted money but continued on later we were stuck in a room with this giant monster made of rock forgot what it's called anyway he had the bright idea to turn it into gold the dm at first confused said okay but you had to roll at 20 and he did after the dungeon let's just say we bought quite a lot of stuff i had a gnome wizard with long sleeves who always went on about how the quality of the magic is based on the length of the sleeve in the final battle the bad guy looks at me says looks like you're all out of tricks old man i respond that's the thing about long sleeves there's always room for one more trick then i snapped a magic stuff over my knee killing us both in the ensuing magic explosion and saving the realm i was playing a low iq character that loved ships we roll up to a dock and the guard asked what our business was in the port i look over to one of my travelling companions for a good response he whispers to me supplies in my excitement seeing as i have just commandeered my first real ship i yell surprise oh a surprise party playing drunk with some greek people we come across a dead body and someone just says is their legs attached in the moment it was god dang hilarious i never let them forget they said that it's how i greet them when i see them similar to dnd i ran the campaign for vampire the masquerade the party was fighting an enemy in a reception hall and one of the members got flung into the kitchen he responded by tearing the stove out of the wall and throwing it at the villain did you preheat it's not your fault you were born that way being an abomination to nature my friends age drew it to the tiefling think half elf but demon mind you this is like four hours after we had a talk about when i came out of the closet and the weird what you are doing is a sin but i still love you i got from some family i was playing as some kind of barbarian in an adventure where we were stuck in a land that was controlled by a powerful vampire we had picked up a brother and sister npcs and were protecting them while we took them to the next town over we needed to protect them because she was the vampire's long lost love reincarnated or something like that so he was coming for her we got to the town and the vampire attacked our party as we were putting her in a church for protection long story short we were not prepared to take on this guy yet and we were going to lose either by all of us dying and he takes the girl or we just give him the girl being the nice guy i was i could not let her fall into the evil vampire's hand so i swung my sword and chopped her head off the look on the dm's face when i said i'm gonna kill her was priceless everybody else in the group was like great idea this will get him off outbacks for a while so we can get stronger and face him on more even ground totally threw the dm off his game because he had planned out we were going to have to storm the evil vampire's castle to get her back heck with that let's off find that monastery with all the wine one of the players at my table was in butthole to our dm during our first session we took shrinking potions to help a town of mouse folk with their cat problem he was uninterested the entire time and kept on our dm after the cats were handled i destroyed his growth potion shoved him into a bottle and burnt off his clothes the player was p but that was alright because our dm asked him not to come back for the rest of the campaign i played a warlock who had a tiny goblin in a jar as a pet i renamed him waffles after his favorite food and used magic to make all of his food taste like kimchi anchovies and cottage cheese a few months later i suffered head trauma in real life and my dm told me the story i couldn't remember it at the time and i didn't remember her either the way she told the story made me realize just how special dungeons and dragons is that one experience cemented our lifelong friendship this is amazing that it was such a bonding moment and helped you reconnect with your pre-injury life in such a meaningful way congrats to you both for having such a depth to your friendship if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

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Id: IF6oeOIhup4

Length: 25min 58sec (1558 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 03 2020