CONSPIRACY GUY: This video is sponsored by
Campire. All according to plan! Let’s see how the world’s doing today? Nope. Still terrible. Man, these 2020 videos are going to be weird
in retrospect. Then I might as well work on that campaign
for a table top role playing game! Specifically, how a Dungeon Master can prepare
to run a table top RPG game like Dungeon and Dragons and the many many other rpg systems
available. Terrible Writing Advice has covered areas
outside of good old-fashioned novel writing before. After all, writing has a lot of applications. So I thought I would branch out and cover
a subject of personal interest to me and for those many other Dungeon Masters who often
leave comments in my videos admiring my sage advice. So to all of you Dungeon Masters and Game
Masters out there, roll initiative, and let Terrible Writing Advice show you how to Game
Master a Table Top RPG. When running a Table Top RPG there is one
big misconception that I must dispel first, that we are all here to have fun. Fun, is the worst thing that can happen in
a tabletop RPG! This isn’t fun, this is my life, my masterwork
tale! Any players having fun are simply ruining
your master piece artwork and should be forced to feel the full wrath of the Dungeon Master,
or DM for short. We are all here to play a hard core game of
make believe! The only exception to this is when a player
is ruining another player’s fun. A good DM would just let that slide. What little fun to be had should be treated
as a zero sum game. Now that we have ground all of the fun out
of the game from the get-go, we can focus on the important aspects and qualities a DM
can have. Those would be flexibility and adaptability. Specifically, flexing and adapting the wills
of your players until their broken spirits conform to the DM’s story or else Remember,
the DM is always the star of the show, never the players. Player characters are best treated as background
extras. Never should every player’s character be
given a time to shine each session or be made to feel special in any way. All of those opportunities should be afford
to the DM’s special Non Player Character, or DMNPC. Yeah. Players just love over powered DMNPCS who
steal the show and solve all of the story’s problems themselves. Should a DM always add an overpowered self
insert NPC? Of course! The only thing about my DMNPC I feel conflicted
about is if I should name him Marty Stu or Gary Stu as well as how big his harem should
be. You know, why even stop at making the player
characters background extras in their own story? Make sure the DMNPC reduces the player characters
to mere passive observers who do nothing but sit around and watch the DM roll play with
himself. The DMNPC needs others to witness their great
feats of daring do of course. But what villain will our heroic self insert
face? What dangers will the party confront on their
journey? When it comes to dangerous creatures, there
is only one that is so ruthless, so conniving, cruel, and dangerous that it will spend every
waking moment dedicated to nothing short of ending your campaign in its tracks. I, of course, speak of the players themselves. Thankfully, TWA has assemble this list of
common player archetypes for the DM to be wary of. The Role Player
This player will get lost in role playing their character. Often to the point of hogging the spotlight
which any DM should tolerate no matter how long it goes on. However, a role player who balances their
spotlight as well as draw other players out of their shells should be kicked out of the
group ASAP. The Roll Player
In contrast, the Roll Player is more engaged by the game itself than the drama. Sometimes called a power gamer, their eyes
will gloss over during the story parts, but will get easily absorbed by the mechanics
and strategy of the game system. In no way should a DM worry when the Roll
Player turns their finely tuned, min-maxed character upon their fellow players as the
main danger a DM should worry about is the Roll Player beating the DM at their own game. The Joker
Some men just want to watch your campaign burn. This is one such player. Most are more focused on amusing themselves
rather than others and their amusement is usually a result of taking random, chaotic
actions that no sane character would ever do. The best method for dealing with an out of
control joker is to call Batman. The Rules Lawyer
I was unable finish this entry because I am still arguing with the rules layer about the
definition of rules lawyering. The Edge Lord
These players watched my Antihero video and took all of its advice to heart. They have high chances of contracting murder-hoboitis
and are often 100% fatal to any teamwork in the party. The best method for dealing with an edge lord
is waiting for them to grow up. Because that will probably happen long before
they finally figure out that edginess cannot substitute for characterization. Just be sure to avoid encourage them to get
over themselves and work with the rest of the team. Do not let them read any edgy manga or they
will turn into... The Hentai Guy
The Hentai Guy has one or more horrible sexual fetishes that they will try to put into the
game at the worst opportunity. The problem with this is that their attempts
to do so conflict with my horrible fetishes I’m trying put into the game. There can be only one! A DM will have to do battle with the Hentai
Guy for the fate of the magical realm. Otherwise, this boundary blind person should
just be tolerated and never called out for making everyone else uncomfortable. Meanwhile the mystery as to why all of the
girls have left the group remains unsolved. The Non Player
Why is this person here? I don’t know and neither does the non player. Non players are great the same way filler
arcs are in shows. They exist and take up space. Never try to the draw them out of their comfort
zone and get them to try something new or try to help them find a niche in the story,
but if a DM does, make sure to do it in the most alienating way possible. The Snowflake
The special Snowflake wants to play a homebrew self-insert, half dragon, kitsune, furry,
multi-class demi-god in a human only historical setting. No the DM can’t look at the Snowflake’s
character sheet because reasons! The DM should always relent to the Snowflake’s
demands no matter how game breaking they are and never should the DM put their foot down
and say no. The Drama Queen
In some ways, the Drama Queen is the opposite of the Role Player. Where as the Role Player gets lost in the
drama of the fiction, the Drama Queen brings their real life drama into the fiction. Even though everyone is here to have fun and
escape reality for a little while, the Drama Queen is here to bring everyone crashing back
down to reality, or at least the strange version of reality the Drama Queen lives in. Be sure to just let the Drama Queen continue
to leak toxicity into the campaign until she has done more damage to the party than the
final boss monster. That Guy
Ah. That Guy. We all know that guy. His heavy mouth breathing resulting from the
three steps he traversed announces his presence to all much like the trail of Cheeto dust
in his wake! The fact That Guy even manages to show up
despite possessing the intelligence and problem solving capacity of a single cell bacterium
is impressive in and of itself. Truly that guy is the best of all players. He possesses all of the desire for power of
the power gamer, but none of the mastery of the game system, all of the lust of the Hentai
Guy, yet with somehow even less social grace to know when to conceal it, all of the impulsiveness
of the Joker with none of creativity, the same lack of initiative of the non-player
but without the instinct to stay out of the other players’ way. None can stand in the way of That Guy for
his body order is potent beyond the ability of mere mortals to endure. Truly any DM is blessed to have their game
graced by That Guy and they should never just be kicked out without a second thought. Remember, if having problems with your fellow
players, never just try to talk to them like reasonable adults? Better to let problems simmer until they boil
over and make everyone quit the game in frustration. If a DM finds the situation has turned truly
toxic, then just keep going rather than remove yourself from a toxic environment. Same goes for the players. A good way of looking at the fellow players
is as opponents that must be defeated. Routinely murdering the player character’s
until the players quit the game in frustration is the way to go! Handling character death would usually depend
on the mood of the campaign and tone of the story. But, I’m killing off the player’s characters
because it gives me a rush of petty power and control. I will kill off all of the PCs and claim ultimate
victory in this cooperative storytelling game. What does a DM win after defeating all of
the characters in the player’s party? Well usually they win the ultimate prize of
having to finding another group to play with. With the players taken care of, what about
the plot? That’s easy! All aboard the plot railroad! Toot Toot! That’s right. The story is all on rails from here on out. Again, flexibility and adaptation are not
needed when we can instead beat our players back onto the straight and narrow path of
total submission to the DM. Embracing player creative problem solving
is highly discouraged as it might lead to unique and new encounters that are not listed
in my notes. Creativity should always be punished, never
fostered in the players. Just be sure to restrict role play opportunities
enough that eventually the player characters all revert into treasure obsessed murder hobos. When a DM restricts the only meaningful in
game interactions to violence, they should express surprise when the players try to solve
every problem by murdering it and taking its stuff. In fact, the biggest mistake a DM can make
is giving deeper context to any aspect of the game. Why are the PCs delving into long forgotten
dungeons? For the treasure! Why are there so many monsters in these dungeons? To guard the treasure. Who built these dungeons? Why the ancient peoples who made the treasure. Why did these ancient peoples go extinct? Well obviously because they hoarded all of
their treasure into over-designed dungeons full of high maintenance monsters rather than
reinvesting that back into their economy. Laying a variety of plot hooks to see which
ones the players’ like most? Working with players to establish character
arcs? Creating imaginative worlds that open up role
playing opportunities rather than let the setting hog the spotlight? Running tactical combat scenarios that skirt
along the precipice of death to keep the players’ at the edge of their seats? Being a DM has nothing to do with any of that. The real reason to be a DM is to forge a pack
with the forces of darkness and gain real magic powers. Well, I’ve looked through the Player’s
Handbook, Dungeon Master’s Guide, and the Monster Manual and still haven't found the
section on gaining real magic powers, but the fundies assured me it’s there. But when I find it, my players will be sorry
they killed Marty Stu! KNIGHT: Ah! Knight Commander Mc Stabby Pants returns. And with this video’s Sponsor, Campfire
no less. COMMANDER: I told you guys not to call me
that! KNIGHT: Of course, Mc Stabby pants. COMMANDER: *Grumbles* KNIGHT: Well let’s open up this sponsor
and see what makes it tick. COMMANDER: Who’s the new guy? CONSPIRACY GUY: Oh. Me? I’m, uh, the newest squire. COMMANDER: Wait. I don’t remember a new squire. CONSPIRACY GUY: Um. What would a bunch of hipster knights say? There is no ethical consumption under ads? … COMMANDER: I like you! You get it. Come squire. We must learn all we can about this new sponsor. Before one of the other Expand Universe factions
try to steal it. CONSPIRACY GUY: Like those extremely handsome
and smart gentlemen part of the Ancient Conspiracy? COMMANDER: What? Those guys are a joke. Bunch of illuminate has beens who sold out
to the man. CONSPIRACY GUY: We’re not a… I mean they’re not a joke. I hear they are experts at manipulation and
subtle planning. We better watch out! COMMANDER: Enough. We must learn of Campfire’s secrets before
its too late! CONSPIRACY GUY: Well. Let’s see what we got here. Campfire is a writing software program to
help writers organize their notes. From timelines for visualizing the plot’s
flow as well as character detail pages for backstories, relationships, and even entire
character arcs. Dungeon Masters might also find the comprehensive
world building pack to be useful as well with its ability to help them flesh out species,
cultures, languages, philosophies, religions, items, and even magic systems. It’s a one time purchase of $49.99 with
the worldbuilding addon pack for $24.99. It comes with a 10 day trial. TWA fans can go to bit.ly/CampfireProTWA2
or click in the link in the description below. Oh. I see General Warmonger Wannabe has been keeping
notes on the various factions in the TWA expanded universe. I wonder what he said about us? COMMANDER: Um. Why did you click on the Ancient Conspiracy
Guy then? CONSPIRACY GUY: What? I’m not a communist! And calling me egotistical! It’s not my fault that I’m the only one
in the TWA universe with any functioning gray matter. Oh. What’s this IG thing? COMMANDER: NO! Don’t click on that? CONSPIRACY GUY: Oh great. Is those things again… COMMANDER: Oh no! It’s the visible hand of the free market
come to snuff us out!
I know he's awesome
I just watched this video, Lol!