Glory to the empire and to this videoās
sponsor skillshare! Hello everyone. Today we are... Wait! Whatās this? Crappy CGI? Oh no! That can only mean that it must be time for
a franchise reboot! Now normally on Terrible Writing Advice, I
tend to stick to āhelpingā amateur writers and occasionally screenwriters. However, this episode is aimed at a more exclusive
clientele, namely rich media moguls looking to exploit our ever shrinking pool of nostalgia. Well them and the mistreated screenwriters
who will have most of their script thrown out and rewritten by the director. Besides, this is future of storytelling because
at this rate by the year 2030 we will hit the reboot singularity. So ready your nostalgia goggles as Terrible
Writing Advice goes drilling for beloved franchises to exploit. Now the most important thing to remember when
rebooting a franchise is that the highest priority is not re-imagining this classic
and beloved work for a modern audience so that a new generation can hopefully experience
the same feeling of awe and wonder that made the original work so beloved, but to instead
focus all energy on creating an expanded universe. Marvel made bank and we want a slice of that
multi-billion dollar pie. Shared universes is where itās at right
now, even though Marvel is about the only one to pull it off so far. Now how can this be accomplished? By starting small, telling a largely self
contained story, and keeping the characters and story engaging? Why bother with the legwork when we can skip
to the good stuff. We want to increase the storyās scale without
regards to the storyās scope. The stakes have to be high for the trailer
shots after all. This means that we should start not with solid
characterization or a believable plot, but to instead dedicate most of our resources
to teasing out a whole series of stories we will never get to after the first bombs. But what about the tone of our reboot? Now conventional wisdom would suggested that
matching the tone of the original is the best bet. However, others would suggest that altering
the tone may be needed in order to better gel with modern audiences. Theyāre both wrong! Audiences want dark and gritty! See! Itās just like the original, but pointlessly
dark. We will still spend a ton of money on that
crappy CGI even though everything is so dark you canāt see it. Money well spent there. Since I brought up CGI, be sure to use that
over older special effects techniques because audiences wonāt believe it unless it looks
like it came from the original Quake engine. Donāt worry about capturing the original
designs even if they had a clear theme. Art direction is for childrenās coloring
books the same way themes are for eighth grade book reports. Speaking of themes, once we rip that out we
might still have deal with the workās original social commentary, cultural perspective, historical
context, and overall message. This beating heart of the work should be ripped
right out and tossed into the bin like the garbage it is. It will be replaced with fast paced action
scenes and inane snarky dialog. Did the original contain a scathing satire
of 80s corporate culture, letās just rip that out and replace it with something more
dumbed down... I mean simplified for modern audiences. Iāll just jam in a few buzz words I heard
on the news and done! See! Thatās just as good. Oh no. It looks like a bunch of nitpicky internet
critics with zero ability to suspend their disbelief have poked fun at the original work. My reboot is the perfect way to address these
pretentious critiques found in all of those top 10 plothole lists that plague Googleās
search results when Iām doing research for these videos. What a great use of precious run time and
story space utilized to fix plotholes that pretty much only Buzzfeed authors care about. But what about elements of the original that
would be considered problematic by a modern audience? Thatās easy, you just push those tropes
out a window and pretend they never happened. End of story! We need room for a fresh set of problematic
tropes after all. Now that we have flawlessly dealt with any
and all problematic elements of the original, itās time to focus on the characters. These are beloved icons of a classic so naturally
the best move is turn them into barely recognizable caricatures of the originals. Be sure to have them spout the originalās
catchphrases over and over again because that's obviously why people liked them. Another option is have the original characters
sidelined so our new characters can steal the spotlight. See. Reboots are nothing like fan fiction. Oh wait, I got a better idea, letās kill
off the original characters in the most dumb, mean spirited, and shocking way possible to
make sure the audience knows that this time, itās darker and edgier. An alternative is kill them off screen and
mention it like once, or in the tie in comic. Ah. Tie in comics. The only place where you can find the villainās
motives and make sense of the plot. If all else fails, then the best bet is to
simply completely ditch the original characters and replace them with an all new cast of original
characters in a whole new plot and setting. That way we can do whatever we want, but still
get the franchiseās name recognition. I call this the Ship of Theseus solution. Now all of this may seem like we are systematically
destroying the original which is true. I canāt be bothered with understanding the
source material that should be held in contempt by the entire production staff. Will this anger the fans? Of course and those angry fans will rant on
their blogs and YouTube channels about how we are ruining the franchise and thus generate
free advertising. Besides, smugly dismissing angry fans is what
Twitter was made for, well that and permanently crippling nuanced discourse. If things get really bad we can always throw
in some out of nowhere fan service. Fan service is the lifeblood of reboots. Not only is it excellent for trailer footage,
but can be used to lull fans into a nostalgia induced stupor that will shut down their critical
thinking. The best thing about fan service is that the
fans canāt complain, because itās what they said they wanted. What a great way to deflect from running that
plotline into the ground. However, what if fans and general audiences
just donāt want a reboot, but instead wish to see the franchise take new and interesting
directions as well as witness the evolution of the setting and characters. Well we canāt have that. That would require not only more thought,
planning, and work, but might upset the money making status quo. Why take a gamble on a sequel when we can
just redo the first story and call it a sequel. Yes people will see through this, but by that
point we will already have their money. If expectations for a sequel is too high then
we can always just do a reboot and call it a prequel instead. We will have to badly mangle the original
story to make in fit as a prequel, but thatās okay. Just be sure to the wreck the continuity in
the process. If fans get upset then just say that its an
āalternate timelineā. If the franchiseās continuity gets too snarled
then we can always do a time travel story to reset it. We can also use our prequel disguised reboot
to the explore the origin of a character who didnāt need an origin story to begin with,
but hey hereās the thing no one asked for. Well, I supposed the marketing department
did. Another very good option is to use our reboot
to mash several stories worth of plots into one gargantuan disaster... uh... I mean story arc. We can also just steal all of the best lines
from the original and stuff them in at random points no matter how little sense that makes. All of those parts of the original franchise
were good so if we just make our reboot nothing but those then the story will surely also
be good no matter how much context we have to murder in the process. Thatās what people want, a multi-million
dollar clip show. But other than that, we want the audience
to settle in, feel comfortable, and let their guard down hoping to enjoy a new iteration
of a loved story, then BAM! A love triangle! Ha! Did you think the reboot wouldnāt take the
opportunity to shove a dumb romance plot in there somewhere even if the original escaped
it? Now if everything has gone according to my
guide, the reboot should make as much money as it is bland, and it should be very bland. Yes as art it will be utterly forgettable,
but thatās a feature. Because weāre just going to reboot it again
in a few years. EMPEROR: Barron. Iām counting on you to handle this videoās
sponsor, Skillshare. BARON: Donāt worry, my emperor. We will handle the sponsor much better than
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House Good guys and... who in the name of my favorite back stabbing dagger are you? KNIGHT COMMANDER: We are the knights of artistic
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as Iāve said before, if they donāt want to get shot then they shouldnāt deliver
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hair forever. Why would I be jealous? I just finished a class on Low Budget Filmmaking ā Tips and Tricks for an Indie Look which Iām using for my upcoming documentary: House Bad Guys; Why You Should Totally Trust Us. KNIGHT: Might want to take a class on re-branding while youāre at it, maybe get renamed to House Okay Guys. BARON: Well itās a good thing you canāt
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to skl.sh/twa14 or click on the link in the description below. And after that itās merely 10$ a month. Even my minions can afford that. KNIGHT: Those guys with the dumb helmets? Minion breaks into tears.* MINION: He thinks my helmet is dumb... BARON: Aw. Now look what you did. You hurt that minion's feelings, you monster. I didn't even know they had feelings? Now Iāll have to kill him for being weak.
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