Don't Get Mad About Stupid Things Like These People (r/AskReddit)

what's the dumbest thing you've ever witnessed someone get offended by a lady started yelling at the cashier and tried to jump over the counter for checking the $100 bill she paid with I would bet it was fake at that rate I had a lady very offended because I would not let her hold my few days old baby this was a complete stranger at a grocery store I learned to say to people ha ha I'm a first-time parent and I don't even let my own parents hold her ha ha seemed to do the trick without having to say you perfect stranger can hold my most precious beloved delicate possession when pigs fly on my whiteboard at work I'd written the slogan no matter what happens somebody will find a way to take it too seriously after about a week someone from HR came by and asked me to remove it because they had received a complaint the irony was worth it years ago a woman came into my work and bought a black stove the guys take the box up there to her and she flips the freak out because the Box said Negro on it everyone tried explaining to her that it was the Spanish word for black but she left there saying we were all xenophobic similarly I've gotten dirty looks for ordering a Negra Modelo at restaurant I don't care though because it's delicious at a restaurant years ago and this guy ordered a soup he pulled a bay leaf out of the soup and went freaking mendel there's a leaf in my soup and was convinced it was off the tree outside a manager continued to explain it's a bay leaf an ingredient for flavor and this guy wasn't having it since then any time my wife cooks a soup we treat belief like the bean and a cake and whoever finds it gets free rein over being super grumpy as long as it's in a jest I used a frequent to drive-thru near my job on my lunch breaks after they repeated my odor and told me to pull forward I always said thanks before I drove to the window one day the manager comes to the window and says hey I'm gonna tell you something every time you come here and you say thanks it just sounds really rude Thanks is something you say with your buddies here you say thank you because you just sound really have not been back there since and I immediately reported him to corporate when I got home I worked fast food for four years of undergrad thanks would have made my day we had to separate two of my mates from fighting after one called the other a silly sausage this is so ridiculous to me and I cannot stop laughing my Asian friend was offended that her sister called me black I had a drama teacher get mad at me for pretending to be a werewolf in a skit she claimed it was disrespectful of transgenders which I suppose means that transgenders are werewolves to her I guess I offended someone at my work because I insulted their intelligence I run audio at conferences in the presenter kept turning away from his microphone in the middle of his presentation he asks me what's wrong with the mic I tell him there's nothing wrong with it just be sure you speak into it then he got on my after saying don't tell any how to do my job then do you job right and I won't have to don't call me so I'm not rich don't call me sir I work for a living don't call me so I don't live in a castle don't call me mom I'm not old well okay mom a blackberry fanboy buddy of mine got offended when a group of people mentioned that the company wasn't doing well and I offended I mean he was red-faced angry spitting while he talks trying to tell them that blackberry has the best hardware I thought his head was going to explode when they laughed at him Brazil got so offended by the Simpsons episode about the country that the Ministry of Culture tried to censor it you know it's a good episode of something when an entire country gets bucked at over it I had a stranger get upset because I covered my ears when emergency vehicles went by he said I was showing disrespect or something freak that those sirens allowed you salut that emergency vehicle a friend of mine got all pissy when I told him that my mother had to put down my sick dying pet cat apparently because I have no right to decide the death of another animal I shouldn't make an imminent death less painful so I didn't even know that my mother was putting the cat down until I came home from school and heard it from her someone at my school who lived on a farm was upset one day that a farm laborer had found an injured rabbit and killed it with a spade she was horrified that he would do such a thing and claimed that he had no right to take another animal's life someone pointed out to her that she was a hypocrite because she went fox hunting and she shook her head and said no that's different nuts when my wife was serving at a restaurant one of her co-workers got yelled at for saying sir to a black guy he claimed that there was a racial epithet I'm definitely not one of those people who think that most black folks use racism to their advantage but I have never heard of sir as an epithet and he did get a free meal out of it I think someone was mixing up so with boy as a server I once ran food up to a table with a young less than six months old baby dressed in generic brown baby clothing I put the plates down in order and when I got to the baby I asked the mother did she get anything she glares at me with one of the most Piaf faces I've ever seen and snarls he's a boy so I did the most logical thing I could think of Shrugged said whoops and left all babies just look like potatoes to me I went to a Catholic High School in an area surrounded by really awful public schools so we had a good diversity of students from different religious backgrounds whose parents had some money one day we were at lunch and talking about some physics project that involved a kite this was a long time ago memory is not 100% on the details so basically we were all sitting at our lunch table having a conversation when one of my friends was in the middle of saying something along the lines of II and then she wanted us to build and fly a kite made out of cardboard well he kind of jumbled his words or something and said [ __ ] instead of kite everyone instantly knew what he meant because of the context of how it was said and I don't think a lot of us even knew that kite was insulting or even a real word but the one Jewish kid that sat at our table heard it and flipped his crap he truly believed that it was a conscious mistake and that the kid who said it was Anton he held on to this grudge for nearly half a year and not a single word exchanged between these two kids other than jew-hating accusations and insults all of us about 20 kids total each had to talk to him and tell him how ridiculous he was acting so we could get back to our normal lunch balls which consisted of arguing and insulting other tables TL DR two kids didn't speak for half a year because one misspoke Titus [ __ ] for several years I taught a summer school class in filmmaking two elementary schoolers who can be a very sensitive Bunch two stories one we were discussing an action scene from Firefly and I identified Zoey as the black woman a couple kids gasped that sectarian one volunteered she's african-american I told them that black was not a sectarian thing to call people and that Zoey could not in fact be african-american because she wasn't from America she was from space too one of the kids had pitched a movie about the Civil War and in the discussion the Ku Klux Klan came up not everyone had heard of them so I described them as a club for mean angry people they hate people for being different like they hate black people one of the boys jumped out of his chair mr. Lew Kevin said something xenophobic he was trembling with righteous indignation I didn't say I hate black people I told him I said they hate black people I'm not a member of the Ku Klux Klan that didn't satisfy him so I ended up having to go with look I'm Jewish they would hate me too and that calmed him down the way I held my fork while sitting on the couch having a TV dinner in such circumstances I have no time whatsoever for cutlery etiquette you're supposed to use your hands not butt cheeks somebody once complained at my restaurant that their Swiss cheese didn't have enough holes in it why would you complain that you were getting more cheese than you were supposed to the holes are always most delicious my mom works at a post office a lady who happened to be black came in to pick up a certified package mom asked for her read and it showed her name as Anne Smith while the package was addressed to a white my mom calmly explained that she could only give the package to a white which the woman interpreted to mean she would only give it to a white person she flipped her crap and the postmaster ended up calling the police this sounds like something from a movie school suspending or worse a child for chewing a pop-tart into the shape of a handgun or the deaf kid named hunter who was suspended because his sign language form of Hunter looked like a gun it's always around the holidays when someone gets offended for another person wishing them happy holidays Merry Christmas whatever the person meant no ill-will they could have easily said nothing yet someone always takes it like a personal assault on their beliefs it makes me so angry because of how irrational it is bought some stuff had Target over the holidays the cashier was a younger girl probably late teens and told me Merry Christmas the look of wide-eyed horror on her face when she realized what she said and then how she looked at me with dread while waiting for my reaction luckily I'm not an overly sensitive baby and said same to you if I worked at an AOL cos Center the day after the 2004 Super Bowl you know the one where Janet Jackson's titty made its appearance and because a o has sponsored the halftime show thousands of people called in to either cancel their accounts and I crap you not cool to say they would never sign up for AOL because of that titty people would bafflingly wait up to three hours in the call queue just to say that even though they didn't have a o L that exposed titty cemented their resolve to never sign up it was one of the worst days to ever work they're worse than nine stroke 11 it was the day that I realized how foolish and petty people can be about one single african-american titty meeting at a locally owned family-run authentic Vietnamese restaurant a roommates boyfriend who I've posted about several times he is basically the epitome of a white male tumblr feminist social justice warrior accused me of culturally appropriating their food and forcing them to cater to me because I am white when I pointed out as a kid my neighborhood suddenly had a large influx of Vietnamese immigrants and knew the family personally and have been going to their restaurant for years even bringing every guest couch surfer to the place he tells me they don't make the restaurants for white people stop smothering them with your privilege but this guy went from a broke-ass freak Vietnamese immigrant to having an insanely popular restaurant people drive from the other side of the city 45 minutes to eat there in 13 years after opening there is always a wait no matter what day or time you go and was able to pay for his three children's college education I think he likes white people money foo I have one in college I saw the guy from class on the bus we started talking a bit he starts to tell me about his big plans with Maria Maria this and Maria that I have no idea who Maria is so I am thinking and thinking then I remember seeing him being friendly with someone in our class so I said oh that girl in our class and he looked at me with a dead eye stare and said Maria is not that girl she has a name her name is Maria he was offended that I wasn't respecting her personhood enough because I called her that girl he then stopped talking to me I used to serve in a fancy restaurant had like I get peed because I brought him brown sugar when he specifically asked for brown sugar no I want the sugar in the brown packet I used to live with a black guy from the UK one night we went out to a local bar and started talking to some random people a random white woman got upset I called my room might black during a discussion about something the correct term is african-american according to her even the Brits or african-american whole bunch of African Americans in Africa once I was at my step grandfather's house not long after my dad had gotten remarried they were discussing how they were going to drive together to New Jersey from Maryland and back in the same day to pick up a car of course they'd be getting back late probably 1:00 a.m. or so so my dad said he'd just crash on their couch since he'd be tired probably a 40-minute drive to his house from theirs I told him I'd probably be close by around that time because it was my DND night and I stay up late anyway so I could pick him up so he could sleep at home if he wanted suddenly I met with dead silence and eventually my dad politely declines and says it's okay later he told me not to talk about stuff like DND around my step family because they're religious for Fricks sake I was trying to do someone a favor and because I decide to spend my evenings rolling dice and drinking Mountain Dew I get the silent treatment TL DR step family thinks icosahedrons are offensive apparently I've met people who have been offended by me not allowing them to Pat a dog that has syringomyelia neurological spinal disorder causes immense pain if touched during episodes I explained to them that there's dog a Cavalier can get aggressive and snappy if he has an episode and it's not something that we can detect easily they told me that I shouldn't be walking an aggressive dog as it may bite someone who wants to Pat it well people shouldn't try to pass dogs before asking if it is okay at work one day a woman asked for an iced green tea with light ice she made it a really big deal that she wanted light ice I was still somewhat knew and asked my coworker how much ice was considered light I made the joke that maybe we should use little ice cubes and we laughed about it this woman overheard us and blew up she demanded to speak to my manager and said that we were making fun of her tell him they said maybe we should use little ice cubes at this point my manager could see how stupid this situation wasn't told the woman he would deal with it he just told us not to talk about customers while in hearing distance and went back to that was manager to stop doing things that makes me have to do things I got in a heated debate with a woman who refused to allow me to call a Jamaican friend of mine black and she insisted I should refer to him as african-american around 1993 or so when my kids were just small in the family was all going to church Baptist we were all at a social and my daughter was wearing some little girl clothing from OshKosh B'gosh and this one really snooty guy from Sunday school said he would never allow his kids to wear something so offensive as he considers B'gosh to be taking the Lord's name in vain I was so taken back by his statement and attitude that I didn't say anything but in reality he was just trying to prove how super spiritual he was I finally just realized that I didn't have much in common with these people and stopped going when I was a cashier at borders I had one lady get offended because I called her by a man's name and the stupid thing was that she was picking up a book her husband had shipped to the store and his name was on order oh you must be the dong who ordered this book I was commuting from Albany NY to Brooklyn for a little while and would drive past a town called Fishkill and why I stopped there once to get gas at the gas station was a bunch of people much more than normal for such a small town I heard them talking about how they were from petter and there to protest the town because it was cooled Fishkill I saw one of the protesters gets in an argument with a townie and then heard the townie say kill is Dutch for Creek you butthole to this day the funniest thing I have ever witnessed a guy friend dressed up as post-vietnam wheelchair-bound leftenant Dan and his girlfriend dressed up like Forrest Gump for a Halloween costume contests at our local bar they won but not before a drink girl had to yell at my friend that his costume was offensive to people in wheelchairs I knew I should have just gone as Bubber visiting NY while studying English in Boston for the summer in 2003 I was sitting in a bar with other Spanish classmates as we were planning what to see and where to go in the city we are speaking Spanish between us but with Castilian accent him speaking really fast a Jamaican look like guy in an expensive suit stops at our table after paying his takeout meal and asked us very friendly where are you from guys we smile and say proudly Spain D his face suddenly changes to an angry expression he flipped us the bird and said get out of my country M and then left I was once talking about how I visted the grand tetons and talked a little about the geology since I found it very interesting one of the people I was eating lunch with was very offended I suggested something might have happened two million years ago : back in 1999 or so a small group of us made the pilgrimage to Memphis to spend the weekend eating ribs and touring Graceland during a taxi ride from Bo back to our crappy motel barreling down 240 at at least 90 miles per hour the taxi driver is completely turned around facing us in the back seat he has sock puppets on both his hands knees on the wheel as we scream and white-knuckle anything we can hold on to the sock puppets tells us sectarian jokes that are so horrible even read it would be offended he swerved from lane to Lane and scared the crap out of all of us it's a miracle we didn't all die-- the offense years later I was the best man at the wedding of one of the fellow riders in that cab in referencing all the exciting adventures we'd had together I alluded to the xenophobic puppet show in my bestman speech a friend of the bride who was in an interracial marriage stood up they rated me for being a sectarian butthole took a gift back from the gift table and left talk about a tense crowd for the rest of that speech I was able to play it off and finished the last half of what I had to say everyone else thought it was a nice speech to be clear I didn't tell the story I didn't repeat any of the jokes all I did was list a series of unrelated yet noteworthy events that occurred during my years of friendship the groom it was later explained to me that his girl loved playing the race card since she was a white girl married to a black guy when the husband who returned to the wedding with the gift about an hour later explained to her that nothing sectarian was said only that the words n/a for Peck had been used as an adjective she was too embarrassed to come back all she heard was the word xenophobic and her instincts kicked in I was standing at a bus stop with another lady she was yelling on her phone and I was watching a movie on mine we had both just missed the previous button had to wait another 25 minutes or so for the next one but given her rather unstable condition she was very upset of something I tried to blend into my surroundings as best to my abilities I didn't last too long she said something rather outrageous along the lines of how her bf cheated on her with someone being stunned I lack the restraints to look at her unfortunately we made eye contact and that's where it all went downhill for the next 20 minutes she yelled at me thinking that I was the S at corrupted him she ended every sentence with white hood it'd be as I was wearing a white Eskimo like jacket with a hood up apparently she also thought that I grew up in a place called Red Deer Alberta I had to google it afterwards and that I had slept with hundreds of guys for your information I have only ever dated or had made love to a single person just so you get a sense of how stunned I was of these comments I didn't say a single thing to her during this entire 20 minute episode and only talked when I had to convince other bus patrons that I had never met this woman before TL DR I'm a white hooded bee from Alberta who slept with every man in town my cousin and his friend were waiting in line at the movie theater to see Titanic back in college they're joking around and say something like I wonder what happens at the end of the movie oh I heard the boat sinks and everyone dies the lady in front of them in line was furious and turned around and yelled at them for spoiling the end of the movie I opened the door and let the lady behind me enter first and she got offended and said she could open her own doors the funny thing is that I do that for whoever is bhai me couldn't care less if it's a guy or girl there was a big uproar in DC singers back where an official called a budget item niggardly and ended up having to resign because the hate speech police can't use dictionaries this reminds me of when the pediatricians house was attacked in the UK because people got confused about words at the time the press were whipping the nation into a frenzy about PTO's and some poor child doctor got accused of being a child abuser you have been visited by the distinguished dog our delicious delicacies comment tasty supper popper and be blessed with delectable dishes for the next decade if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video poured out either way have a great day you magnificent people [Music]

Channel: Updoot Studios

Views: 68,538

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Keywords: #updootst, updoot, updoot reddit, updoot everything, reddit on tap, toadfilms, pewdiepie, reddit, askreddit, funny reddit, reddit stories, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, /r, r/, r/askreddit, top posts of r/, askreddit reading, best reddit posts, top posts of all time, people of reddit, askreddit question, ask reddit, subreddit, sub, reddit dumbest people, reddit dumbest, reddit dumbest students, reddit dumbest patients, reddit dumb students

Id: pHsIbRelqW4

Length: 22min 15sec (1335 seconds)

Published: Sat Jan 11 2020