>> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME,
KEVIN HART! ♪ ♪ ♪
( APPLAUSE ) >> HELLO! HELLO! HELLO! IT'S AMAZING, ISN'T IT? GOOD FOR YOU. >> Stephen: PEOPLE VERY
EXCITED ABOUT KEVIN HART. >> OH, STOP IT! STOP THAT! >> Stephen: WAIT A SECOND. THAT'S AN AMAZING RESPONSE, BUT
YOU MUST BE USED TO THAT PAUSE YOU'RE ONE OF THE FEW COMEDIANS
IN THE WORLD, YOU SELL OUT HUGE ARENAS. LIKE THE O2 ARENA IN LONDON,
MADISON SQUARE GARDEN. AND WHAT'S THE BIG ARENA IN
PHILLY? LINCOLN FINANCIAL WHERE YOU'RE
FROM. >> WE DID 53,000 PEOPLE. I'M WHAT DO YOU CALL IT, A BIG
DEAL. YEAH. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). >> Stephen: THAT'S NICE. HOW DO YOU PLAY-- HOW DO YOU
PLAY A JOKE TO 53,000 PEOPLE? HOW DO YOU, LIKE, HOLD A ROOM
LIKE THAT, MAN? >> WELL, I THINK I PRIDE MYSELF
ON MAKING THOSE ROOMS INTIMATE ROOMS. I'M A STORYTELLER, SO WHEN YOU
TELL A STORY THE BEAUTY OF DOING IT WITH AN AMAZING AUDIENCE IS
CAPTIVATING THE THE AUDIENCE WITH EVERY WORD UNTIL THE
PUNCHLINE COMES. I PAINT PICTURES BUT THEY'RE
REALISTIC PICTURES. AT THE END OF THE DAY, I PUT
MYSELF IN YOUR SHOES AND YOU CAN SEE YOURSELF IN MY STORIES
BECAUSE MY STORIES ARE RELATABLE. I DON'T SEPARATE MYSELF. THAT'S WHY I LOVE YOU PEOPLE. >> Stephen: IT'S GOOD TO KNOW
WHY PEOPLE LOVE YOU. I WOULDN'T WANT IT TO BE A
MYSTERY. >> NO, YOU HAVE TO MAKE SURE YOU
NEVER LOSE SIGHT OF REALITY, AND REGARDLESS OF ANY SUCCESS THAT
YOU HAVE YOU HAVE TO MAINTAIN THAT CONNECTION WITH THE FANS. >> Stephen: YOU REALLY THINK
YOU CAN HOLD ON TO REALITY? YOU'RE SO HUGE. YOU HIT 30 MILLION PEOPLE ON
TWITTER TODAY. >> I DID! EVERYBODY DANCED AROUND THE
WORLD. I TWEETED, "DANCE." I JUST HIT 30 MILLION. I WANT EVERYBODY TO DANCE. AND I REALLY BELIEVE EVERYBODY
DANCED. >> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, ALL
RIGHT. YOU HAVE TWO MOVIES OUT RIGHT
NOW AT THE SAME TIME. YOU HAVE "THE SECRET LIFE OF
PETS"." YOU'VE GOT "CENTRAL
INTELLIGENCE" WITH DWAYNE JOHNSON. >> YES, THANK YOU, THANK YOU,
MAN. >> Stephen: "SECRET LIFE OF
PETS" YOU PLAY A MILITANT-- >> WHITE BUNNY. >> Stephen: WHITE BUNNY. OKAY. I DO NOT THINK OF YOU AS A
MILITANT WHITE BUNNY. >> FIRST OF ALL, I TOOK IT
BECAUSE I WANTED TO PLAY SOMEBODY WHITE. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) YOU KNOW, I JUMPED AT THE
OPPORTUNITY. >> Stephen: UH-HUH. >> I SAID I'M NOT GOING TO GET
THIS OPPORTUNITY A LOT. I SAID I'LL TAKE IT. IT'S A BUNNY. IT DON'T MATTER. HE'S WHITE. I WANT TO DO IT. WHEN THEY TOLD ME HE'S MILITANT,
THE WHOLE THING WITH THE BUNNY IS HE IS STARTING A REVOLUTION. THIS GUY IS IN CHARGE OF TAKING
THIS GROUP OF PETS AND TURNING THEM AGAINST HUMANS. AND I WAS LIKE, THAT'S ME. I DO THAT ALL THE TIME. I BROUGHT MY CHARACTERISTIC
TRAITS TO THE BUNNY. AND THEY LOVED IT. THEY ALLOWED ME TO IMPROV AND
PLAY AROUND AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. IT CAME OUT GOOD. >> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE PETS
OF YOUR OWN? >> I DO HAVE PETS. I HAVE TWO DOGS. >> Stephen: DO YOU THINK WHEN
YOU'RE NOT AROUND THEY'RE DOING THE KINDS OF THINGS THESE
ANIMALS ARE DOING? >> 100%. I HAVE A DOBERMAN PINCHER. AND A MIN-PIN. >> Stephen: OH, MINIPINCHER. >> I DID IT AS A JOKE. I BOUGHT IT AS A JOKE. WHEN PEOPLE COME TO MY HOUSE,
LOOK AT THE BIG DOBERMAN! HE'S GOT A LITTLE ONE, TOO! >> Stephen: DO PEOPLE DO THAT? >> NO. NOBODY HAS DONE IT, AND IT HAS
PISSED ME OFF. IT'S MADE ME FEEL LIKE THE
LITTLE ONE OF A WASTE OF MONEY. NOBODY GETS IT. YOU'RE THERE FOR A PUNCHLINE. THAT'S THE ONLY REASON YOU'RE
THERE IS TO BE A PUNCHLINE. >> Stephen: I HOPE THAT DOG IS
NOT WATCHING RIGHT NOW. IT WOULD BE REALLY DEPRESSING TO
FIND OUT YOU WERE JUST THERE FOR A PUNCHLINE. >> THAT DOG COOKED POTATO SALAD
ONE DAY, I KNOW HE DID. LISTEN, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE
POTATO SALAD, AND MY LADY CAN'T COOK. I CAME HOME, POTATO SALAD WAS ON
THE TABLE. WHO COOKED THE POTATO SALAD? HAD TO BE THE DOG. >> Stephen: THAT'S LOGICAL. 100% PURE LOGIC. >> I LOVE DOGS. I HAVE BECOME A DOG GUY. MY FIANCE IS AING TO LOVER. I WAS AGAINST PETS. I WAS AGAINST ( BLEEP ) THAT
COULD MESS MY HOUSE UP. >> Stephen: HOW DID SHE TURN
YOU INTO A DOG PERSON? >> WOMEN DO MAN. THEY MAKE YOU DO WHAT YOU DON'T
WANT TO DO. THAT'S WHAT WOMEN DO. THAT'S A TALENT WOMEN HAVE. THEY BEAT YOU DOWN. I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE DID IT. I THINK SHE ASKED ME FOR TWO
YEARS STRAIGHT. AND ONE DAY I MIGHT HAVE BEEN
DRUNK AND I WAS LIKE, "ALL RIGHT." AND THE NEXT THING I KNOW, WE
GET THESE DOGS. AND NOW THE DOGS SLEEP IN THE
BED. I HAVE NO SAY-SO. MY DOBERMAN, I WOKE UP, THIS
DOG'S RESPECT LEVEL IS SO LOW. HER FACE IS ON MY FACE. AND I WAS LIKE, "WHAT ARE YOU
DOING?" AND SHE'S GOING
( GROWLING ). >> Stephen: YOU'RE TALKING
ABOUT THE DOGS STILL, RIGHT? YOU CROSSED OVER BETWEEN MAKING
YOU DO THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO DO. >> MY LADY LETS IT HAPPEN. I DON'T EVEN HAVE CONTROL OVER
MY BED ANYMORE. I COME THERE, AND THE DOGS ARE
IT IN THE BED. I HAVE TO FIND A POSITION TO
SLEEP IN. INSPECTORLY THE DOG IS IN THE
BED AND HE LOOKS AT THE COMFORT SPOT. AND I'M LIKE THAT'S ME. EXCUSE ME I DON'T WANT TO WAKE
ANYBODY UP. >> Stephen: DO YOU MIND IF I
SLEEP AT THE BOTTOM. >> I TAKE THIS NOOK VERSION OF
THE BED THATY LEFT FOR ME. I DON'T EXPLAIN ABOUT IT. >> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW HOW
YOU HAVE TIME TO BE HERE. YOU'RE WRITING A MEMOIR THAT
COMES OUT IN 2017, NEXT YEAR. >> I'M GOING TO BE HONEST WITH
YOU. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT DAY IT
IS. RIGHT NOW, I'M SLEEPING. THIS IS HOW I SLEEP. IT'>> Stephen: IT'S FRIDAY,
IT'SED FROM. >> IT'S FRIDAY HERE BUT I HAVE
TO BE SOMEPLACE ELSE TOMORROW. I DON'T KNOW WHAT DAY IT WILL BE
THERE. I HAVE TO BE OUT OF THE COUNTRY. HONESTLY, I'M WORKING A LOT,
MAN. I LOVE THE LOAD THAT I HAVE. YOU KNOW, IT IS A LOT, AND I PUT
A LOT ON MY PLATE BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY GOD DOESN'T GIVE YOU
ANYTHING YOU CAN'T HANDLE. AND I'M A FIRM BELIEVER THAT I
CAN NOT ONLY HANDLE THESE THINGS BUT I'M DOING IT AT THE HIGHEST
OF MY POTENTIAL. I'M NOT ONLY HANDLING IT BUT I'M
IN LOVE WITH IT. I'M IN LOVE WITH MY CRAFT. I'M IN LOVE WITH THE FACT THAT
I'M SUCCEEDING. >> Stephen: THAT'S FANTASTIC. >> I'M HAPPY, I'M HAPPY. >> Stephen: THAT'S A GREAT
FEELING. >> THAT'S AN AMAZING FEELING. >> Stephen: YOU CAN HANG ON
AND WE'LL TALK A LITTLE BIT MORE. >> WHAT IF I SAID NO. >> Stephen: WE COULD COME BACK
AND I WOULD WEEP INTO THE CAMERA FOR A FEW MINUTES. >> IN THAT CASE I CAN HANG ON. >> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH MORE KEVIN HART.
