-Welcome back. I want to talk about
"Secret Life." -I like this.
-You do? -Yeah. -It's something different,
right? -I like it.
-Thank you, I appreciate that. -You're like Bruce Willis.
-Thank you. You look good, too. There's something different
about you. -Taller.
[ Laughter ] -Are you sure?
-Yeah, look at it. -Oh, my God.
-It's a boot. I got on a boot.
-Oh, okay. Oh, that's what it is, yeah.
-Yeah, I put on a boot. -You got to put on a boot.
You got a little rise there. -Like 5'4 1/2".
-Wow! 5'4 1/2". That's fantastic.
-Yeah. You know what I'm talking about. [ Laughter ] -Thank you for being here, because I wanted
to talk to you about something. You recently had an injury
that I was very concerned -- [ Both laugh ] I was very --
I was very concerned about. Oh, my goodness.
You fell -- -What a jerk.
[ Laughter ] Go ahead.
-You feel -- Oh, I feel --
I hope you're okay. -No, you're talking about
my fall? -Oh, yeah.
-Yeah. -I saw it. What happened?
It was very slippery? -Here's what happened, okay? And I'm gonna be honest.
-Okay. -I'm gonna be honest with you,
'cause you deserve the truth. -Thank you.
Thank you. -I'm at a wedding.
And it's a close friend of mine. And I feel like it's my job
as a friend to make sure that this wedding
gets to the next level of fun. -That's a good friend.
-Okay? The reason why is,
because it started to rain on my friend's day. And I saw my friend
getting a little sad. He's like, "Man, I wish
the weather wasn't like this because everything is outside." I said, "Don't worry about it.
I got you, okay?" So, my song came on,
a song that I love, and I said,
"You know what I'ma do? I'ma hit him with
the heel-toe hop." That's my move.
[ Laughter ] That's my dance move.
It's called the heel-toe hop. I've been doing it for years. The world knows
that this is my move. My wife said,
"Babe, don't do it." I said, "You need to back up
and stop being fun police." I said, "Back up." -"Don't ruin
my friend's wedding." -No, my wife is 100%
the fun police. Like, when I'm having fun --
[ Imitates siren wailing ] [ Laughter ] 100% --
-Fun police show up and... -"Pull over.
You're having too much fun." [ Laughter ] I was like, "Back up, back up."
-Yeah. -"I know what I'm doing.
I'm about to set it off. I'm about to hit 'em
with the heel-toe hop." [ Laughter ] She was like,
"You need to be careful." I said, "Just count me down!"
That's what I said. [ Laughter ] "3, 2, 1."
-...2, 1. -I go, "Heel-toe hop." And you could tell
I was comfortable because I had my hand --
one hand was behind my back. Now, normally, when I go to hop,
I land, and I dip. This time, I went to hop, whoop! Both feet came off the ground.
[ Laughter ] Now, when you fall --
When you fall when you're older, it's different from falling
when you're younger. Like, young --
When you young and you fall... [ Laughing ]
-Right. -My life flashed before my eyes.
[ Laughter ] I -- I thought
I was about to die. [ Laughter ] I said,
"I'm about to break something." -Yeah.
-"And here it comes." And when I hit the ground,
I realized how -- how -- how my friends
are not my friends. Like, like, you know, there's
nobody that's coming to help me. Everybody just had
they phones out, and I was like,
"Put the phones up! I can't feel my hip."
And I got back up, man, and I saw the bottom
of my shoes, the heels were off. I had on defective shoes, Jimmy.
-Oh, my gosh. -Defective shoes.
It wasn't me, it was the shoes. -It was the shoe that did this.
-The shoes. My heels came off.
-The good news is that we can watch it right now and decide
what it was because we have -- -Well, wait a second.
[ Laughter ] I didn't know --
[ Cheers and applause ] -Here's the clip.
Here's the moment that you fell. This is at a wedding, so someone
had to tape it, but watch this. -Go, Kev! -Hey!
-Whoa! -Hey!
Hey! Hey!
[ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ]
[ Cymbals crashing ] -All right.
All right, Quest. -[ Laughing ]
[ Sad trombone ] -How many times you gonna hit
the cymbals, Quest? [ Laughter ] I heard you hit it
the first two times. [ Laughter ] -Oh, man, that is really funny. -Did you see my hand
behind my back, though? -But you were funny.
-Uncomfortable! -And you're the life
of the party. -Well, you don't hit
a heel-toe hop if you're not comfortable.
It had to be the shoes. It had to be.
-It had to be the shoes. -It had to be! -And here's your friends
after you fell down. This is what they did. They're all pointing at you
and laughing. -Yeah, yeah.
-There's no one helping you up. -Yeah.
-No one helped you up at all. -Yeah, yeah.
-These are some good friends. -Yeah.
-That's some good friends. -You know the funny thing? I want you to show this picture
when all my black friends say, "Why you don't hang out
with black people no more?" I want you to show this, okay?
[ Laughter ] 'Cause I'ma tell you what
white people would've did. They would've helped me up.
[ Laughter ] White people
would've helped me up. -I would've been right there
for you, dude, absolutely. -"Are you okay, Kevin?
Come on, Kevin. You gotta get up, get up."
-Oh, my God. [ Laughter ]
Oh, God. -"The floor is cold, Kevin.
Get up." [ Laughter ]
-Oh, my God! "The floor is cold, Kevin.
Get up." -[ Laughs ]
-"Come on, buddy." -"You're gonna get sick
on that floor, Kevin." [ Laughter ] -Who was helping you up,
Bob Dylan? [ Laughter ] "You got to get up, man! You got to get up
off the floor." [ Laughter ] Dude, you got to be careful, because you are
a national treasure... -Yeah, yeah.
-...and we love you, and we need you to be 100%.
-Yes, yes. [ Cheers and applause ] I'm okay.
I'm okay now. -'Cause you're about to turn 40,
and that's a big deal. -I am, man.
I'm about to be 40 years old. 40 years old. -Yeah, I remember those years.
-No, yeah. I mean, you know,
this is big for me. Because I've always had
the feeling that I'm just young. I feel young, I feel good,
and it's a mind-set. But I can feel it.
I can feel 40. Like, when I get up,
it's different. Sitting down is different. [ Laughter ] You know, stairs.
-Sitting down is different? -Yeah, yeah.
-There's now an audible sound. -Yeah, you guys didn't see --
-You sit down, I go like -- -Y'all didn't see
when I sat down just now. I was like, "Yeah..."
-Ugh! [ Laughter ]
That sound comes out. -Yeah, you got a mini
conversation with yourself. But I'ma do a big bash. I'ma do something
real big, though. -Yeah.
-I'ma do something real big. -Will you do something safe
just for me, please? -The heel-toe hop is happening. -Okay, either way,
that's happening. All right, all right.
That will happen, either way. [ Cheers and applause ]
