- We're about to watch
every "Harry Potter" movie, well, scenes from "Harry Potter" movies, and I'm gonna critique them from the eyes and lens of a doctor. You ready? (energy zapping) Pyu! Let us begin "The Sorcerer's
Stone". I just spit. (dramatic music) Harry Potter. (dramatic music continues) (Hagrid sniffling) That's Hagrid, and that's Dumbledore. I remember their names. - Good luck, Harry Potter. - Oh, that's an interesting
scar. You know what's funny? I've watched Harry Potter as a kid. Never thought about this before. Went to medical school,
residency, and now I see it. I think Harry was treated
by a bad plastic surgeon who was trying to practice Z-plasty. Z-plasty is what happens when you try and make a scar look less visible. When you cut a scar in a shape of a Z, you can actually change its appearance to blend in more when it heals, when it blends in better
with the skin lines. Isn't that cool? - Neville, come down.
- You're not supposed to take off yet.
- Neville! (Neville exclaiming) See, I feel like if you're riding a broom for the first time, it should
be just like riding a bike, you need to wear a helmet. Clearly, they don't have doctors, family medicine doctors doing
counseling at this school. Ooh.
(Neville grunting) (broom whooshing) - [Neville] Ow! - [Madame Hooch] Everyone out of the way! - Okay, that's a high-velocity fall. I would say it's a fall
from probably 12 feet. That requires emergency 911 help. You need to stabilize the
C-spine, get a C-collar on there. If you have a fracture
in the cervical collar, you could potentially cause paralysis. - Ow, ow, ow.
- Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh dear, it's a broken wrist. - It's a broken wrist, that's it? Maybe do a full body check
like when a patient comes in from a trauma, we check the entire body. We just cut off all the clothes because we need to see everything. The last thing we wanna find out is that there's like a huge
cut from the broomstick inside his abdomen. He's bleeding out, and we didn't check 'cause we're going,
"Oh, look at his wrist." Most commonly broken bone in the wrist? Scaphoid. You got it. Good job. Falling on an outstretched hand. I feel like I need a trauma specialist watching this with me. I'm scared for all of their bodies. (Draco screaming) (intense music) Ooh. (Draco grunting) See, so that fall, while looking terrible and at high velocity did
not look as bad to me as a medical professional, I'll explain. Because he fell with
momentum carrying him forward and inertia, he actually did
not come to a sudden stop therefore the force and
the impact on his body wasn't as bad, so that's
why a lot of times like when people survive
sky diving accidents, it's because they landed on a hill and were able to continue falling down. (ball crashing) What is that? - Finite Incantatem! (energy blasting) - That's what I say
when patients misbehave. - Are you okay? - No, I think my, I think my arm's broken. - It's either a radial
fracture or an ulnar fracture based on the location. - Brackium Emendo! (energy humming) (arm squelching)
- Ugh. - Oh, it looks like he
got rid of his bones. If you don't have any bones in there, you can't really make use of the hand. And then you could potentially damage all your blood vessels and nerves there. - I can mend bones in the
heartbeat but growing them back... - You will be able to, won't you? - Oh, I'll be able to
certainly, but it'll be painful. - Growing bones back?
That's something new. Maybe we'll have that in the future. There's actually a
condition fibular hemimelia where the fibula of
the lower leg is short, and we could actually do some
procedures to help it grow. Limb lengthening is actually
a legitimate procedure. (perilous music) (sword whooshing) Dragon! I've never experienced a
dragon bite in the hospital. - [Sam] Basilisk. - A basilisk dragon? What's the difference between a basilisk and a dragon?
- Couldn't have even tell you. - I have never seen a basilisk
injury in the hospital. There was someone who had
like a Komodo dragon bite, which resulted in salmonella, I think. - [Sam] Wow. Yeah, I'm pretty sure
salmonella is the bacteria that's found on lizard
tongues though like, or teeth that you need to be careful for. (sword clanking) Oh, that's definitely one
way to kill a basilisk. Go right for the base
of the basilisk skull. (basilisk screaming) (Harry screaming) Ooh. A tooth to the forearm
radial ulnar artery. He better put some
pressure on that bad boy or a tourniquet if it's bleeding badly 'cause he's not gonna
survive long otherwise. And there must be salmonella
on this basilisk tooth. Watch like another doctor
do a reaction video. "Dr. Mike shares misinformation. There's no salmonella on basilisk teeth. I've looked into it. I read
the research on Facebook." (dramatic music) - [Harry] Of course, phoenix
tears have healing powers. - So, all you gotta do to heal yourself of cancer is to make a phoenix cry? Who knew? We probably don't
need oncologists anymore. We probably don't need
many doctors anymore. We just need a bunch
of phoena, phoenixians. - [Sam] Phoenixes? - Phoenixians. - [Sam] Mm-hmm. (keys clacking) - Are you watching this video with your Doctor Mike merch on? Come on, where's your peewoop stuff? Peewoop! It's linked right below. By the way, I got my
own invisibility cloak. - Now, if there's a Tibetan
turnip that will allow me to breathe underwater
for an hour, then great. But otherwise- - I don't know about turnip, but you can always use gillyweed. - You know, the army
actually tested a substance that you could take in your mouth and allow you to breathe underwater for longer periods of time? But there are techniques you
could use to hold your breath for a really long time underwater. - [Harry] You're sure about this, Neville? - [Neville] Absolutely. - [Harry] For an hour? - [Neville] Most likely. - Is he taking
performance-enhancing drugs? So he's cheating? (bubbling water) (dramatic music) He literally just became a Newfoundland. Newfoundland's rescue people, pull them out of water by multiples. They have webbed feets. They
can doggy paddle like champs. He's going up way too high. There's like legitimate
decompression sickness that he's potentially gonna get. Barotrauma, all of the above, really. And for those of you who don't know, like when you breathe water, when you breathe underwater
usually with a scuba set, not through gills, and you breathe in air like let's say 10 meters
down, 33 feet down and then you ascend too quickly, that air expands, it
could damage your lungs. - Bone of the father, unwillingly given. Flesh of the servant,
willingly sacrificed. (Peter screams) - Oh! My man just
completely cut off his hand! I mean, he's not surviving for longer than five to 10 minutes on this one. You're gonna exsanguinate. Bleed out. I mean, there have been like cases where if you have a really clean cut, maybe if your wounds are cauterized, maybe if your blood
vessels spasm like crazy you can stop the bleeding or
if you put on a tourniquet but like that guy here doesn't
look medically responsible if you know what I'm saying. (Voldemort inhales) Is this Voldemort? Oh. Where's his nose? With a nose like that, you're gonna have trouble warming air up. You're gonna have trouble cleaning the air because you have less cilia 'cause your nose doesn't
protrude out as much. He wouldn't do well in Antarctica. (upbeat rock music) - Skiving Snackboxes,
sweets that make you ill. Get you out of class whenever you like. - Obtain hours of pleasure
from unprofitable boredom - Care for another? - Are those candies that
literally get kids sick so they don't have to do their activities? That's terrible. I'm trying to weigh what's
worse, that or vaping and I feel like they're
both equally as bad. - This place has known magic. (tense music) (knife snicking) (tense music continues) (countdown beeping) - Why is everyone, why would you cut? Like you need blood. Cool, it's a movie. But you cut the most painful, most, most nerve endings are here! Why would you cut the most painful place? Cut like the upper area of your arm like where you get the
flu shot or something. - Harry, quickly, in my bag, there's a bottle labeled
"Essence of Dittany". - Hermione, his arm. - I know, just do it! - What happened to his arm? - (exhales) It's okay. (Ron crying out) - Here, it's gonna sting a little bit. - Those are some serious
lacerations to the arm. In the arm, you have the axillary artery which becomes the brachial artery. You cut that, you're bleeding
out very, very quickly, especially from the left
side near the heart. I don't know what she's spraying on it like there's no way that's helping. Put some pressure on it.
Stop it from bleeding. Hermione, please, for God's sakes. - Dobby has come to save
Harry Potter and his friends! (blade whooshing) (Harry and Dobby breathing raggedly) - [Harry] Dobby. - Why'd you pull it outta him? It was creating pressure and actually preventing
him from bleeding out. You need to call 911, Harry. - You've been a good and
faithful servant, Severus, but only I can live forever. - Not if you go to Antarctica 'cause your nose doesn't
have turbinates in it, so you probably can't warm up
the air and humidify it well. - My Lord- (wand whooshes) - Oh. Yeah, if you're gonna cut the carotids, you're gonna bleed out like
there's no saving that person. (grim music) See? He's smart. He's checking for a pulse before starting chest compressions. If he has a pulse, no need
to do chest compressions. (grim music) (Severus inhales and exhales heavily) Harry, if he's going
unconscious and he has no pulse, you best better start chest compressions. Is he a fish? He looks like a fish 'cause he has like gill-like protrusions in his skull, the nose. He's like a snake fish, a catfish? No, eel fish. He's an eel! Did Harry Potter just take away this elderly gentleman's walking cane? (Voldemort screaming) That's obviously, you know,
terrible medical condition that you don't wanna
have your skin float away into the ether. Micro parchuation of the
skin into the atmosphere. Check out this patient's story. When a patient of mine got misdiagnosed over and over again simply
because of his weight. Click here to check that out. As always, stay happy and healthy. I'm putting a spell on you. Stay happy and healthy,
and watch this video. (upbeat music)
