Divorce Coach: 5 Steps to Feel Better NOW

hey guys this is Emily Sanchez the divorce coach I hope you're doing well today if you're not feeling too great if you're here watching after a divorce or a breakup whether it's fresh or whether it's happened a long time ago and you still feel those frustrating feelings stuck feelings loneliness guilt betrayal there's so many emotions and whirlwinds that we go through I say we because I've been through a divorce myself and I know how tough it can be today I give you five steps to getting fit to get feeling better now okay so we don't have to feel stuck it's okay if you if it's just fresh and you are depressed it's okay if you feel down it's okay to cry but I don't want you to stay there I want you to get yourself back up and you can actually do it a lot quicker than you think so let's get to the five things number one and I think it might be the most important thing is let's get physical exercise that's right we all know it right and the thing about these steps and everything I'm gonna talk about is whether or not we actually apply it so I'm really hoping that you can feel an opening or an awakening something I say comes to you and you can actually do it and apply it that will make the difference so exercise unless you've lived in the cave your whole life then you know the importance about exercise getting out being physical getting your body in shape we know that it does so much more than just heal ourselves and make ourselves strong physically we know the effects that it can do to emotionally the endorphins that it releases and the things that happen in your brain let alone science we can't get away from it we hear it everywhere so you know how good good it is for you fear after a divorce is a physical thing and I was thinking about fear and how we need to come to that fear we have a lot of that emotion after a divorce or a breakup because it's fear the unknown it's fear of being lonely or it's fear of maybe not having a new relationship that's better there's so many things but fear is physical if you think about what happens to you physiologically when you experience fear maybe your heart rate increases maybe you your face tingles or it gets red in the cheeks maybe your whole body is filled with some sort of adrenaline so to meet that fear to take upon that challenge we have to be physical and strong we have to be strong physically if you know what I'm trying to say here so I really feel it's important so step two step two is also super important for me it's something that I did wrong it is get your support group around you just surround yourself with your support group with people who know you and love you the most who are those people well for me it's my family and it's my close friends I have a great family I have great parents maybe your parents are not supportive maybe you don't want to be around them but I made the mistake of moving out of state right after my divorce and I remember just being down and thinking I've got to make a change I have to be around my besties my best friend I've got to be around her and then I made that change very quickly got back down closer to my parents and my family and got down next to my best friend and that that made so much difference another type of support you want it you might want to get it's a good divorce attorney good financial support and also if you feel like you're a basket case mentally that can happen there's no shame getting a therapist if you feel like you've experienced some trauma that you're not getting through or where I come in a coach someone side by side who can help you and have some strategies to get you feeling great so our next step is number three do everything differently okay so if there's some hobby you've always wanted to try go pick it up there's nobody stopping you now your focus needs to be focused differently so that your brain can reprogram into getting that X out of your life so maybe it's a hobby maybe you pass words I remember my passwords had to do with my ex so take a look at your password see if we could put something in different um if you were wearing a wedding ring and that is now off replace it with something different replace it with a super-pretty bracelet or another ring or if you're a guy a watch and give it a meaning look at that bracelet ring and and make it represent your new life all positive things and all these different things that you're gonna do so the next one number four is a little bit different and I call it be steal so what does B still mean I want you to go into yourself go into your body and think for a second just take a break from whatever you're doing and ask yourself are you okay think about where your legs are think about where your hands are are they okay are your arms okay is your head okay maybe you're sitting on your bed your beds comfortable things are okay are they okay like they are you as okay as you were a few months ago just in that physical state nothing else no thoughts for those of you who think that this step might be crap then you might not have experienced something super super hard because when you're going through something where you actually have physical pain in you and your gut hurts from crying or whatever this stuff is super important to just go internal and to realize guess what I'm okay I'm okay right here maybe do it three or four times throughout your day it's just a sit without any thought that's the key and think are you okay physically now this isn't going to work if you're sitting in the hospital in a full-body cast but for the majority the majority of us just didn't think am i okay and usually the answer is yeah I'm alright okay so the last step is called stop fighting with reality now I got this from the work of Byron Katie she is an amazing teacher life coach author and most life coaches study her work so she talks about not fighting with reality and when you fight with reality that is where the pain comes so she takes the metaphor of or the example of telling a dog I want you to meal I want you to meal but the dog keeps barking you're fighting with the reality so some examples of fighting with the reality are our thoughts he should have stayed with me what's wrong with me why isn't he still here why did she cheat on me why did she leave me and still going back to that those things that aren't reality and dwelling in them so this is a lot of thought work but I know personally that as we ask those why questions or if we put the blame out and say the shoulds that does not lead to how to how are you gonna get through how are you going to become better than you ever were so just have some thought work with yourself every time you hear in mind those questions why is this happening to me why do I have to go through this I'm always this I'm always that just take a moment I'm not asking you to do anything about it I'm just asking you to take a moment and realize the thoughts recognize them and be aware and then recognize this is the reality I'm okay so what's Nick next what how to where am I gonna go from here so that's it folks five steps let's review him the first one was exercise the second one was support get that support group number three do everything differently number four be still and know that you're okay number five stop arguing with reality and I know that these can work I hope that something I said struck a chord I would love to work with you what I do best is getting these concepts into your life actually applying them looking at your life helping you and being side by side with you to make this happen we only got one life so live it now you have nobody holding you back don't pay attention to what the ex is doing that's his business you focus on you you invest in you okay I hope to hear from you soon bye friends

Channel: Emily Sanchez

Views: 13,985

Rating: 4.9108634 out of 5

Keywords: Divorce, Life Coach, After Divorce, Feel Great

Id: poJ_tHe_zC8

Length: 10min 21sec (621 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 24 2018