Life After Divorce for Women | Finding Purpose

no doubt it hurts and it may still be hurting you may still be trying to put yourself together following the bitter experience and yes you probably did everything you can to avoid the situation but here you were divorced and you're trying to find yourself hi I'm Christiana Senegal and I work with women to find their voices achieve their biggest dreams and thrive and today I want to talk to you about a topic that was brought up by one of my clients I want to talk to you about finding your life as a woman after divorce and finding purpose so life after divorce for women and finding purpose if this topic resonates with you then click a thumbs up at the bottom of the video but primarily I want to talk to you about something that I saw in one of my clients aim she looked really broken and I can imagine that the divorce is something that will really break you and if you don't put yourself together and if you don't find a way to bounce back you could just leave with that pain and bitterness and anger for the rest of your life but I will share with you four ways in which you can begin to find yourself again as a matter of fact let's just find yourself again not just survive but actually thrive now let's talk about the situation because for a lot of people before divorce happens for some people they didn't see coming for some people feel they were working through the situation and they were hoping that things would get better but somehow it blindsides them in you know the divorce happens maybe in your case as with my client she had been living with her husband for about 20 years and in the relationship he did most of the stuff you know getting the thin sort of the car insurance all of that he was responsible for most of that and she found herself after 20 years in this space where oh my goodness where do I begin again I have been used to living with this man for you know for most of my life for 20 years so how I begin to pick my life back again now your situation may be one where you probably didn't see the divorce coming maybe blind sights you and you are just left in shock thinking how did this happen how could this have happened to me and maybe he did your the very best you could maybe you were there being a good wife a good partner maybe you were there holding it together and just making sure that things went as smoothly as possible into you you may actually have been doing great and your relationship may have been in a good place and then suddenly a divorce happens or in your case it's the fact that here you are divorced and you have young children where do you go from here where do you how do you pick your life from here I want to let you know that there is hope I want to let you know that this is not the end of the story this is not how your life ends and you knew OKC may also be the fact that you chose for the divorce that happened because maybe your needs were not being met maybe you've tried so hard to keep the relationship going but somehow it's just not working maybe you've experienced some kind of psychological Nicolette's some form of loneliness as it what's with the case of my client even though you're married but there's no connection in the sense that your needs your emotions are being neglected whatever it may have been but maybe you chose to pull the trigger and say you know what I think we need to go separate ways either way whether you initiated the divorce of whether it was your partner who initiated the divorce a divorce can be a really hard thing for anybody whether it's children or whether it's you as a woman but I want to talk from the perspective of as a woman how do you begin to find yourself again how do you find your voice again how do you begin to thrive even when you've had the wing nut off of yourself so four tips that I want to share with you two and the first one is this let go of the pain and this is such a crucial step because unless and until you let go of the pain you're almost gonna be walking the rest of life with a limp you're always gonna be angry beaten when I the pain he caused you or the pain you caused I want you today to make a decision to let go of the pain every time you hold on to pain every time you hold on to something that hurts you you were given that situation that person permission to hurt you again and again yes you've gone your separate ways now but every time you keep holding into the pain of what happened the thoughts the memories why did he do that why didn't he do this or how did I let myself be exposed to this whatever each time you do that you are constantly making yourself a victim you let in a situation you're letting the person hold you captive again even though the situation has ended but when you choose come to terms with the fact that you know what this really stinks this hurts it's bad I'm not happy that it happened I'm not happy with the way things went back I'm choosing to let go of it that is a process where you begin to allow healing into your heart in healing into your future so that's the first step let go of the pain to know that you can survive but better than surviving you can thrive and you may really be fresh at the heels of this right now so you may have just come out of a divorce you may be going through a divorce at the moment or your divorce was a few years ago but here still struggling I want to bring you some hope today and I want to let you know that you can not only survive this you can thrive and you will thrive you need to give yourself permission to do that even if you don't believe that you will I want you to rest on the faith that I'm presenting you to rest on my shoulders rest on the trust that I'm presenting you today rest on the journey of other women who have gone ahead of you other women who have experienced divorce because you know that this is not peculiar to you and no matter how messy or how annoying your situation may have been or is a divorce is not peculiar to you all the women have been through it and are going through it and some people have actually come out the other side in they try so I want you to rest on that knowledge that you know what it's possible for me that I will not just survive but I will thrive and thirdly I want you to begin to reclaim your life back and how do you do that I want you to start by being curious exactly that is to say begin to be curious about what makes you laugh what makes you excited what makes you happy what brings joy into your life so begin to explore well if you know what maybe take up gardening see how that feels do you enjoy do you want to do more of it take up a sport swimming for example say to yourself you know what I'm a little curious about swimming maybe I'll like it maybe I wouldn't then explore it if there's anything that comes to your mind to say mmm but I like that would I not I want you to get curious about it explore that maybe there's a local walking Association next to you and maybe you could say you know what maybe I should join them and see what that feels like maybe I'll walk with a group of people maybe I'd like it maybe I'll make some connections you know take up dancing for example maybe you feel like oh I'd really love to dance I really learned love to learn how the salsa or I'd like to learn some street dance in the roof and you're thinking I'm just gonna look silly you know I get curious about it I want you to begin now to get curious about everything and anything and begin to think to yourself will then interest me would that make me happy what's the point of that's the point of this is that when you begin to get curious about things you open up yourself to the possibility of excitement you open up to yourself to the possibility of newness you bring something new into your life because if you think about it all of this years you've been together with this person you've done things as a couple you've had to make compromises you've had to make room for somebody else and sometimes at your own expense that's part of that's what it takes to be in our relationship so you may have done that but now that you find yourself alone you find yourself by yourself it's time to begin to be curious to begin to say to yourself what do I like what excites me what brings me joy you know and begin to just be open to it maybe you'd like to take up painting maybe you'd like to draw a poetry again just get curious because in doing so you open up yourself to newness to new possibilities to new relationships to new associations and things they'll bring you joy and happiness now previously you probably didn't know about and fourthly what do I want you to do give yourself permission permission to be happy again permission to smile looking but permission to dream again I know what you've been through or going through is a hard time for you and you may have also been or email or may be a hard time for your child or your children if you have children but I want you to give yourself permission to dream again it's a hard situation but imagine that you've been handed a fresh canvas you've been given a new opportunity to create I call this life by design take this opportunity and make the best of it you have this new phase in your life in this new this few years of your life that you are going to need to figure out what you do with it how would you show up how would you leave and what will be the rest of your life about so I want you to imagine that life is giving you a new canvas a fresh canvas another opportunity I want you to give yourself permission to dream again to begin to design your life so begin to dream big what would you like to achieve at the stage of and no don't say to me Christiana I'm getting old don't say to make her stay in a time it's going by let me tell you something my mom is almost 17 right and at this stage of her life she's gone back to school she's taking a leadership course I mean the woman is so active she's constantly doing one thing or the other but my goodness she blew me when a few years ago when she was about him I think 65 she decided she wanted to go back to college to Bible School for about a year and did some training and now I'm speaking to her almost 70 and she's going oh you know what I've got to get back to lectures you know you know my lectures and I'm like what are you tuning well and she said I'm taking this Leadership Program and I'm like what listen you're not too old so don't come up with that because you've got so many years ahead of you as long as you're living and breathing you've got time so we've knocked that one off the pock right so I want you to give yourself permission to begin to dream again what would you create with the next few years of your life what do you want your life to look like now you have the permission because if you think about it growing up for a lot of people we went through the the part of you know you grow up you go to university or college or you get a job start a family when you have a family then you begin to think about the kids work etc and sometimes in all of that we don't have the opportunity to stop and say you know what I want to design my life the way I want it and that's what I want you to do right now I want you to begin to think about your life and give yourself permission I mean one of the things what I said earlier of one of the things I do is that I help women to find their voices to achieve their biggest dreams and to begin to thrive and if you want some support or information on how to do that there's information in the description box below where you can click for one-to-one coaching sessions or group coaching if you want to but at this point I want you to begin to think about yours and what you want to create and how you want your life to begin to look like and how who you want to be how do you want to show up everything because you have another opportunity to now begin to create your life you know the story about diamonds right diamonds are formed in the hottest heat possible that's how you get diamonds and now you're going through a really tough time or you've been through a really tough time well why don't we spin that around and why don't you not just survive but thrive so give yourself permission to begin to do that I hope this video has helped you if there's anybody you know who has gone through a similar situation or you were going through a similar situation I want you to share this video with them I want you to support them in their journey to help them begin to find themselves again to find purpose again and like I mentioned if you need support to find your voice again to achieve your big dreams or to thrive there's information in the description box below and I hope women do exactly that and I want to help you do that I'm gonna see you same time next week but until then come on girl go out there and rock your world I'm so excited about possibilities for you and I know that you can do this even though it may feel very high god bless

Channel: Christiana Senibo

Views: 1,017

Rating: 5 out of 5

Keywords: how to move on after divorce as a woman, what divorce does to a woman, happiness after divorce, how to move forward after divorce, starting over after divorce at 40, advice, love, marriage, relationship advice, relationships, wedding, how to avoid divorce, how to not get divorced, divorce advice, marriage advice, advice for marriage, glamour magazine, 8 passengers, jay shetty videos, motivation, prince ea, self development, divorce, life after divorce, after divorce

Id: QIaw6heLzc4

Length: 14min 12sec (852 seconds)

Published: Sun Nov 24 2019