Dissociative Identity SIMULATION | 360° video!

my name is Jess if you've not come across this channel before you may not know that I am somebody who has dissociative identity disorder commonly known as di D which means that at any one time different identities can influence or take over and control my behavior there are five alters including myself and although we've been inhabiting my body as multiple since I was about six years old we have never been in the same room until now what you were about to watch is a simulation of a head space a space in which alters can talk and interact with one another commonly known as Co consciousness that there have been two three and even four of us around in this head space at once but never before have we heard the five of us standing in one room but for the first time ever we have simulated a situation in which all five of us are standing together in the head space all having the ability to talk share dynamics and demonstrate the differences between us this is so you can experience what we experience as close as possible in 360 virtual reality all the conversations you're about to hear were collated as close to verbatim as possible they were written down in pieces agreed upon by the alters and then scripted to make sense and flow what you're about to see is a product of that brought to life by actors that resemble the alters in some way so that we may give the alters the voice that they deserve and remind anyone watching that they are equal parts of person as I or they are we all make one whole and our voices need to all be individually heard and respected if you ever wondered what life is like for someone with the ID and listening in all these conversations with the alters then you were about to have a very unique experience in finding out welcome to our headspace hey how come you still got your stethoscope on well because clearly I'm at work on the inner world not something you'd know much about hey work I'm just between very expensive paychecks right now but that's the case thank God I'm not in the buff otherwise it'll be scarred oh you in the knit with your coffee face mark that's so great all right all right let's not actually paint a picture in case we bring on the haunting this is a first for you huh yeah I suppose us for were used to being together on the inner world but I don't think we've ever had more than a few of us Co conscious at once at least not with you involved yeah I'd say there's normally three of us it for a bit shutting but having all five of us at one time is a wild experience right you feeling Jess well it's okay like you know why don't we take this opportunity to get out the guitar and play a little come by out yeah campfire - oh you got s'mores no visualizing guitars or bongo drums it's hard enough concentrating on the five of us as it is well Uncle Jake could sing you don't have to envision anything for that I can show you the world baby thank you I think we need to get back to the matter at hand I can't believe you compared me to Bieber man I think it would be sensible if we set an agenda have to be so rigid I figured we could just kind of free flow it's the best way to make sure that we use the time we have here wisely but wouldn't it look much more unnatural to an audience gorgeous right yeah we're doing that headspace visualization thing for people to have an experience like like ours I have forgotten anything you may say may be recorded for training and monitoring purposes all in favor of setting an agenda raise your hand and all in favor of going with the flow I guess we could do a bit of both well I'm happy to share okay wait I feel like we should probably like introduce ourselves before getting into the more like technical stuff like hey my name's Jake I'm like five foot six I got brown hair and on the inner world I'm an actor and a singer I love nature I love meditating and long walks on the beach like no offense but what you're doing is properly cringe but it's important so the audience can understand how we see ourselves they know how we see ourselves all right we don't need to if we're getting actors in to stand there and portray us then we don't need to worry about it if there's already some toss-up ever ten the beer I'm Jamie I'm very good-looking are you actually doing this I'm 5 foot 10 green eyes and my role is all about fixing people on the inside and outs I've been described as a cheeky prince charming with intelligent mr. boot you should probably stop right there otherwise this room will fill with your eating - how could you throw in shade okay you ever got okay hi Molly Oliver prefer to be called Ollie but I don't know oh it's your roll I'll like what do we figure you're me to do I have no trauma have a good upbringing and and be carefree I also play video games and I like to take my bike and sometimes and and I'm when I'm on the inner world I play with my friends have a laugh just hang out Oh me and well I'm Jeff I identify with the body and the body's name I have an interest in psychology and I really like helping people I have a husband cool guys and a baby called II your turn you can't be serious fine fine papa I'm ads please don't call me Eddie unless I actually like you I can be just as edgy as when I was a teenager oh say I'm tall I'm slender people can see what I'm like there's someone here actually betraying me so you enjoy arts true-crime and your perfect date night is any environment with a bottle of red wine I'll make it a Grindr profile you know your stay-at-home husband you look after the house and family and you really like cooking and baking and you do an incredible job of it yeah maybe I'm a good lesson in not judging a book by it's cover I just really still don't get what the point of this all is it just feels a bit weird just feels a bit awkward to give us a voice in a body for the first time ever you know to show people of a reality of who we are and how we work so people can empathize more and realize that we're all you know like individual parts with unique thoughts experiences and and and opinions and and that we should be respected as such yeah I'm fine but I just I don't get what people think we talk about when we talk amongst each other well if they believe the stereotype of people have with the idea I like serial killers maybe they think we're plotting or school to chop someone up and and chuck them in a dustbin no I don't use these I'd say the acid or fire and there's no evidence no blood on your end then perhaps we shouldnt have any theoretical conversations like right now just in case somebody actually believes that we could hire a hitman now blood on your hands no evidence works just as well insulin classic angel endure whoa house [ __ ] man that's my biggest fear and I've got a seat next to you like that yeah plus that's a method of death dad and I were talking about disposal kill me not like theoretical or not like this is just kind of a disturbing concept and it's making me feel kind of nauseous right so now we've established introductions and discuss homicide why don't we agree on what our first topic should be well just brought us all here so maybe she should start okay um I guess now I'm on the spot I'm probably sure what to say maybe oh I guess if we're gonna be like existential maybe we can kind of ask what would we be like if we never experienced our trauma and we were one whole person taller skinnier that one hurt had a nice thing to say to be fair it study that eats like he's in a bloke's body you're one to talk hey I'm a growing teenager what's your Excuse yeah I don't know why you're being so quickly towards Jess yeah what boy such a grump um I just am I just don't get why we're doing this it feels pointless and awkward and invasive and I don't like it I've been through this it's so people can have a visual of what it's like to live with this disorder you know like for the first time ever people can really hear us and experience what goes on they can see us interact I think my point was more about why you're projecting your frustrations on suggests okay cool just do this yes how'd you feel about me what how'd you feel about me we're all connected it really doesn't need to be spelled out you know though you find of me I don't see why that matters it matters a lot it must a lot because I know you find me I can hear our heart beat faster and harder every time we're near each other so I don't get how you can stand there and preach about prosecute but about persecutors not being good alters when you still view me as one yeah I just want Jess to answer for herself how can you stand there and label me as trustworthy when you still don't trust me not to [ __ ] up she does trust you ad there's a lot of good yeah can the protectors stand down for a minute I'm not holding a bloody hostage I just want her to answer for herself I'm sorry Edie I don't know what to say look you've you've grown so much and you've become such an amazing part of this system and I know that you've done a lot in the past and some of that was misdirected and it hurt the body but that doesn't actually mean that I believe you're gonna do it again I'm really sorry Edie you're not a bad alter you never were about altering that's something I need to get across in my head and I'm sorry I still get these feelings about you I really do respect you I really do and you're a very important part of the so ruled puzzle that is us I think it's a good idea to to use this chance to just listen to this stuff and and kind of get on with it and move on I think Ollie's right is there anything else anyone wants to hash out I mean you're such a know-it-all Jamie and like you're super confident too and I guess sometimes I get a little jealous of all that like I kind of inspire to be a little more like you know full of knowledge and self-love just like you know she has mates that's very kind of you to say the gentlest hashing out thing I've ever experienced but then I wish I could return a compliment to you or any compliments or way too salty what domain apologize it's okay like if anybody's used to this it's it's me you know I know Jamie apologize or find a compliment be serious okay okay I'm sorry for taking the mick he knows I'm joking and yes I don't know how you're always so so kind it's it's a very admirable trait hey well so I was it brutal okay has everyone finished Amy anyone want another go no what about unit I think we should address these tensions between you and Jeff yeah I dislike to go and I know that's instinct I don't know that's why I made 'full I get that we've talked about this that's just the mammalian part of the gland but those are the natural reactions what we need to do is use off complex frontal lobes to rationalize those reactions and overcome them yeah if it were that simple Jane then we wouldn't be having these problems would we I'd do my best and that's all I can do I don't think you have to like somebody to get on with them yeah we need to be respectful of one another you know and work together you know we can't let our feelings get the best of us if we need to work as a team in order to function I mean thinking about it I kind of feel like that's getting the fat end of the stick here when I'm having the same feelings about being frightened of him as he is about disliking me thank you so if you're gonna lecture me you've got a lecture two something shouldn't we get back to the original point yes I believe the question was and what would it be like if we would want to be a singular person instead of a multiple well I don't think it matters we're not we're here we exist so we may as well just get on with stuff I happen to agree no point trying to change the past but it might be interesting and worthwhile to explore whether or not we would ever want to be one whole person I feel like we should just focus on the here and now you know like looking at the past just causes sadness and looking towards the future just generates anxiety yeah I think Jake's right I think we should just focus on the here now and we're not anywhere near that stage yet so we shouldn't have to worry about it one day at a time but to get to that last point we'd have to go through years of therapy to look at a past that we barely even remember and and we were created to stop remembering it doesn't make sense to go against the mechanism that made us right I mean you and Jamie would feel that way because that's kind of your role to keep us as far away from that trauma as possible the way I see stuff it's society that has an expectation on us become to become fixed so that we are home so what we make people feel like more comfortable that we're not broken essentially but it's all we've ever known and it works for us so why change it we we we don't need to give in to that destabilizing of ourselves and I'm reliving that trauma it just doesn't make sense right fine darling but we have to take care of the PTSD sided stuff yeah me Jake and Jess you and Jamie wouldn't understand because you don't have to suffer with all the flashbacks and the panic attacks and the triggers like we do but we work well together so why not get on with it and just carry on as we are that's fine but like up until the point where you're in those moments of torment and you do anything to get it out of here but once you've had the flashbacks don't you forget them straightaway lollipop I get that you can't empathize with this and that's a good thing yeah because the last thing I'd ever want to imagine is you go through something traumatic but if we went through those therapy sessions and we relive the past surely I'm going to experience it anyway like your dad says it's about taking it one day at a time for the first time in our lives we're in good stable therapy and if we feel like we need to stop we will stop but we're all together taking these steps into the deep water step by step and if we check in with each other then if it gets too much we can step back out again and then go back in later on if we feel up to it how does that sound ah I thought you'd agree with me like your dad said it's it's about not wanting you to ever experience what he experiences and the only reason I'm even willing to risk this is because I don't want him to have to experience that nor Jess or Jake for that matter and if there's anything that we can try I mean they don't have to then I think it's worth the risk but it's not worth harming you for it I could never forgive myself if we ever cross that line try not to worry about that yes I mean I guess we're a long way off that stage yet we don't really have to worry about it and I know that you guys would do everything you could to protect Olli and put his life first which I guess kind of makes me think about exactly that I mean why me why my life when we could be living all his life for example ah I don't want here I have an amazing inner world I have amazing parents and I couldn't find anything like that out here yeah and we were living your life long before we even knew what all this was about like people just expect us to be this way and respond to your name with your body so it just kind of made sense to continue that way I guess that you I know that you kind of wanted that life more than anyone Jane I guess but I feel like it's just too late for that wish to be granted now what do you mean like you guys you you have family these guys are family like where does that leave me you all finally to Jackie the same way you know like parents and kids like I want I wanted that freedom you know like I wanted to travel the world and see the most beautiful places like maybe need a girl but like nothing serious just something nice we do have to be realistic we've chosen one life and one path so what can we do to make you feel better and now time that's what you need you need more time to go out and be yourself do what you want to do within reason obviously no gallivanting around with it goes okay I wouldn't I just want some time to like release some energy you know like maybe exercise or like hang out with friends well you can now the baby's a little older we all have a little more freedom and we all have a right to that freedom I guess they just worry that like that time could be used somewhere else you know like I know that Edie needs to recharge a lot and I don't want to take any of that up okay well if we don't give you a choice what do you mean so if we feel you like sneaking around a like you can't come out you're trapped we okay we push you out so you have to have more time for yourself we encourage you yeah really like that would be totally awesome and then I wouldn't feel so guilty about taking some time out for myself as long as you guys are okay with that will you be okay with that idea but worried you you feel a bit down and you didn't have the life that you could you know what I would live this life ten lifetimes over and I would get every single one of them to just because her happiness means more to me than anything in the entire world that just means that you're doing a fabulous job as the protector that you were made to be so you should feel proud were you about to see the food Jasmine was I'm really drew Scott made the film it was you know Mazur I know I did you totally trance-like but what I did why this totally that would have made an amazing genie down oh well I'm going to a long list them for as long as it take you to realize how amazing you are but I cast it perfectly is it yeah whichever one of us is fronting right now is gonna be a complete dissociated mess white who is fronting well we're all here so by deduction that either means it's a giant mess of all of us Oh a massive void of none of us precisely wait what if it's - what if it's a new alter what I mean if we're all here and then we've got a task well who's out there because we're all here right now and we could be a really associated mess or there could be somebody else that's taking my body right now and I could be doing anything I could be having a black eye Oh Jasper okay relax I guess I just I can't get it out of my head that somebody could be driving my body right now and I could be in the boot and we won't know what we're doing or where we're going if that was the case I'd know about it don't you think I'd let you know someone new at crop top what about one of the fragments like what about little me is he still around very likely but he hasn't fronted in almost two years and the challengers been doing it so in the daytime is unheard of why have we been like really badly triggered that that could be it right I suppose so but not as far as I'm aware but listen I think we all need to take some deep breaths calm down otherwise our amygdala is gonna go into overdrive we're gonna have a panic attack and that's the last thing we want okay think so I'm just feeling really lightheaded and panicky you it's okay yeah I just want to be here right now belly breaths it's okay nice and slow in and out okay I agree let's recap and bring this to a close so we've addressed the concerns between Jess and edge we've encouraged Jake to take some more time for himself we've ensured that we're all happy to continue our progress through therapy and we've checked in to see if there's any new pieces coming up is everyone happy yeah okay good so let's check back in with the body round ourselves unless there's anything else that anyone would like to share with an audience yeah that people shouldn't judge alters or people with the ID because each different case has its different representation yeah but that goes without saying maybe we should maybe say something about the basic something that we might have not made obvious like what like sometimes we talk like this for days and maybe there's one Co conscious or or even maybe several and sometimes we don't hear a peep from any of us from days on end and that's normal too I guess adding to it these kind of you know monologues aren't inner monologues in their actual parts of different people that kind of speak to you and it's nothing like I don't know I just don't think that maybe someone that I've DoD could necessarily understand but at least something like this might be a start anyone else okay Gold Star for everyone okay I think we should draw this to a close all right Jess you know what to do did you I can't think right now and five things that we can see four things that we can feel three things we can hear two things we can smell one thing that we can taste 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 we hope that you enjoy taking a step into our headspace and having that opportunity to hear what we hear day in and day out thank you so much for watching and don't forget to Like share comment and subscribe and tell your friends that we are nothing like the Hollywood stereotype thank you we hope you enjoy taking a step into our headspace and seeing what we do day in and day out by giving you this insight we hope we've achieved what we set out to achieve which was to remind everyone that by stereotyping mental health disorders we are putting our stigmatizing beliefs above the actuality of other person experiences and of course we want it so ensure that someone without the idea that feel fully immersed in our headspace and experience that understand how system like us works and operates we would love to do nothing more than to do even bigger projects in the future so a big thank you to all of our amazing patrons because without them we wouldn't be able to do this in particular we need to thank Karen and Denise oh and the Songer system encrypted Angels and Odessa for supporting us in the way that you have to sign up to support us to help end this segment of D ID please check out our links in the description box and help us by a KO phi or become a patron [Applause] [Music] [Music] you

Channel: MultiplicityAndMe

Views: 725,649

Rating: 4.9452043 out of 5

Keywords: dissociative identity disorder, did, multiplicityandme, documentary, interview, alters, meet the alters, meet my alters, multiple personality, multiple personalities, science, real, mental health, mental illness, youtube, diagnosis, personalities, alter, ego, glass, split, movie, dissociadid, caught on camera, virtual reality, 360 video, vr, dissociative identities, psychology, wellbeing, mind, anxiety, depression, ptsd, cptsd, simulation, asmr, sanders sides, schizophrenia, psychosis, switch, simulator

Id: ZxVzXLVn_oE

Length: 27min 57sec (1677 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 27 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/beebeebopdoodeedledo]

Yea watching a video doesn't feel anything like actually dissociating. It's like smoking weed in GTA, you cant feel euphoria through a screen