Diary of a Wimpy Kid was the weirdest movie...

hey everybody before the video starts i want to tell you that my plush toy thing is finally on sale right now okay it's not a pre-order you can just buy it like now go to shop alexmeyers.com link is also down below in the description and get yours today because they are extremely limited so don't wait on it you know over the years there's been a lot of movies i've been asked to do and one that keeps coming up over and over again is diary of a wimpy kid the 2010 kids movie that all of you grew up with apparently now this movie was a little bit after my time but when does that ever stop me so what do you say we strap ourselves in and check out the 2010 masterpiece of filmmaking diary of a wimpy kid but before that really quick this video is brought to you by raid shadow legends let me tell you about a free game called rage channel legends you probably already know a lot about it whether you want to or not but just in case you're unfamiliar rage shuttle legends is one of the biggest 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titular wimpy kid i assume okay first of all let me get something straight this is a journal not a diary i know what it says on the cover but when my mom went out to buy this thing i specifically told her not to buy one that's a diary on it this just proves mom doesn't understand anything about kids my age oh man ain't that the truth like you find out real quick whether or not your parents were losers in school when you become a teenager and they start giving you just the worst advice you know girls like a sensitive guy who writes his feelings in a journal no they don't mom that's what you want because you're 40 now and you're questioning all your life choices if someone's blowing you just ignore them and eventually they'll leave you alone never works but i'm going to be fine it's my best friend riley jefferson of warriors he's definitely not middle school ready he's not quite clear on the concept of growing up well i mean hey how much disney movies for a living style who am i to judge anyway so finally greg wakes up on the first day of school and after getting a face full of the old french onion soup surprise from his brother roderick he also gets some valuable advice about how to survive middle school it's real simple don't talk to anyone don't look at anyone don't go anywhere don't sit down don't raise your hand don't go to the bathroom don't get noticed don't choose the wrong locker yeah that's pretty much all there is to it so you know good luck greg and so the moment of truth greg heads off to his first day of middle school the first day of the end of his life because trust me greg no one survives middle school let me just say for the record that i think middle school may be the dumbest idea ever invented you got kids like me who haven't hit their growth spurt yet mix them with gorillas who have to shave twice today perhaps not the best choice of actor when describing a hairy gorilla you know just throwing that out there there's juvenile delinquents and weirdos i'm smaller than about 95 of the kids at my school seriously i don't know what happened to these kids over the summer yeah you know real talk okay middle school is just the worst thing you know why there's hardly any movies about middle school because nothing good ever happens there middle school is just like all your anxieties about you know everyone's watching me and they're all gonna make fun of me but like actually yes kids in middle school are just always doing these like swat team reconnaissance missions trying to find anything they could possibly bully you about look at this kid you see how her face is like totally normal well let's tell her she has a weird nose and forehead and ruin the next 20 years of her life polaris hey greg you want to come over and play what did he just say to you oh you want to come over and play yeah do you guys want to play with us but whatever anyway so this being the first day of school he finally meets up with his friend rowley about whom greg was concerned that you know he might not be ready for the whole teenager thing remember how i said rowley wasn't middle school ready there you go what are you wearing it's my strap okay but i mean like just give this kid some dreadlocks and a nose ring and he just looks like any girl you see the music festival so then it's finally time for the worst class that no one likes especially in middle school physical education i'm coach malone and i am your gym teacher pe is as much a part of my life as waking up in the morning and going to the bathroom i live and breathe physical education yes clearly i will say though in middle school there's like two kinds of teachers you have these really weird jaded people who are always trying to like prove something for some reason and then you have like absolute saints i mean i barely survived three years in that place can you imagine going through 30 every day you show up to work and just have to deal with a room full of kids all like lebron crimes these knocks just like the entire cast of ed and neddy who utterly despise you for no reason whatsoever now i mean this with the utmost respect okay but like what kind of psychopath willingly works at a middle school anyway so gym class gets going and they end up playing the time honored traditional sport of middle school which at my school was called beat the crap out of the kids who don't wear american eagle but the greg and rally pretty quick realized that this whole pe thing might not be for them we'll hide here for the rest of class it's barbaric it's completely barbaric this place is an intellectual wasteland but you know it's nice to meet someone more interested in his mind than his body what what dude you're like in seventh grade what kind of meathead bodybuilders are you going to school with hey there fyi i just hit puberty so now i can bench press three boxes of lucky charms ugh that's the fourth one this week i sure wish i could find a guy who writes his feelings in a journal anyway so this is angie just to ravage done with the world jaded 12 year old who's sick of the rat race and just wants to like live her truth man she also reads books dresses all hipstery has a pink stripe in her hair and has a beret so yeah she's so cool but you know real talk a girl like this in middle school is like a total weirdo that no one would ever talk to but you know she's going to go off to high school and college and just ruin so many people anyway after talking to this girl for a while cooties grills they wait until it's safe and head back to the blacktop and here's where they meet the most important character of the whole movie the cheese stop good god man you almost got the cheese touch so what the cheese touch nobody knows when or how but one day that cheese mysteriously appeared on the black it's just like the most middle school thing ever so the story goes that the cheese just magically appeared one day then this one kid touched it and got the cheese touch which means no one can ever talk to him or get close to him ever again and so that she sits patiently waiting for its next victim wow this is a terrible place so having barely survived the day greg and rally head home and on their way there they run into roderick and his band loaded loaded diaper hey little brother is your first day as crappy as i said it would be not at all you were wrong it was actually worse you didn't listen to me did you i told you not to talk look or go anywhere and what happened he had these lunch on the floor and so pretty much the rest of the movie is greg desperately trying anything he can think of to be cool in middle school which is pretty much how you could describe like all these dudes on tick tock jazz dancing we could do that one together i need something to make me a class favorite what about class favorites oh greg is only here because he really wants to be really i was just saying that i would really like to nail these people because it's so obvious that they're only doing these activities to get in the yearbook oh well sue that's some big talk from a kid wearing a shirt with a plug and a light socket on it what is this you know i'm starting to think rally might not be your biggest problem there greg anyway so greg keeps dragging rally around in his quest to become popular and they try a bunch of different things like school musical safety patrol dressing for success they even go so far as trying out for wrestling yeah what about pile drivers and vader bombs that is fake wrestling hey it's real to me okay when the undertaker came back to life for the fifth time you know they really spoke to me all right anyway so as you might imagine everything basically just backfires on greg you know he loses his wrestling match to a girl he ruins the musical the only girl who will talk to him is angie over here i mean he knew middle school would be rough but like come on and if i would have pinned her which i could have done easily you know i would have gotten trouble for hurting a girl why does she even want to wrestle who knows girls are very confusing like today i heard some in the hallway say that bryce anderson has a cute butt what does that even mean yeah you know i never understood what that meant because like the girls in my school would always talk about tanner's butt or bryce's butt or whatever but like all these dudes just look like this like what are you even talking about now probably my favorite scene in the entire movie here one day the kids are watching this really informative video about how to be an awesome teenager that guy is so unpopular i'd hate to be him ew hey guys do you like break dancing [Music] that is totally rad wicked you should sit with us at lunch friend [Music] imagine trying to win the favor of a dude with this phone right here also why is there a breakdance floor in the library what kind of school is this i love how this dude goes from this to this but you know after two years of pandemic lockdowns i get it also like come on being a loser in high school isn't that bad i mean i didn't have any friends and guess how many magic tricks i can do now i don't know about anyone else but i know what i learned it is awesome to be me the problem with rowley is that he's not enough like me i can't ditch him because he'd be lost without me maybe i can fix him you think you can fix him what are you like all my ex-girlfriends also just a quick little tangent here you ever notice how the girls who try to fix guys are always somehow worse but whatever anyway so greg is convinced that the reason why people don't understand how cool he is is because of his friend rowley no no you look like one of the seven dwarfs you only need one strap why would they put on two straps if you're only supposed to use one because the guys who make backpacks aren't cool if they were cold they'd give it one strap you know what is one strap machine guns so guess what we're bringing to school tomorrow now skipping ahead a little bit is halloween and greg comes up with this master plan of how to get the most candy by going to the north side where the rich people live because you know they're the ones who always have the full-size candy bars so they go off trick-or-treating on the north side but once you know a bunch of big kids show up and start terrorizing everyone because you know they're not quite big enough to hit their stepdads back yet hey reflector dude nice costume thanks my mommy oh that was awesome i saw your plates we're calling the cops uh oh [Music] oh boy quickly realizing the flaw in their plan greg and rally run over to greg's grandma's house and using her gardening tools they end up cutting a huge slice in marty mcmullen's truck over here which you may or may not be surprised to hear he doesn't really appreciate very much are you kidding me i'm gonna rip off your arms and punch you in the face with your own fists but of course in the end greg and rally barely escape with their lives now like i said before greg and rally try being on the safety patrol because surely this is what kids in middle school think is cool you know what i'm saying it's almost as cool as being the kid with his own homemade sailor moon t-shirts am i right guys anybody hello one day as part of the whole safety patrol thing greg is walking these kindergartners home by himself and he thinks he sees the big kids from halloween coming after him oh no don't worry don't worry i'm right behind you go hey raleigh jefferson is that you [Music] and so long story short riley's the one who gets blamed for this eldridge human sacrifice that greg did this badge is supposed to mean something and you just spat on it i really don't save it you are officially suspended from safety patrol now of course greg could say that it was him who did the whole thing but you see the problem with that is that you know greg would get in trouble so like what kind of idiot would do that but to his credit greg with all the maturity of a 12 year old he kind of feels a little bad about it so he comes clean and tells riley the truth it's kind of funny you know the whole safety patrol thing yeah i'm the one who terrorized those kids you know what greg you're not a good friend i'm a great friend if you were a great friend you would have told mr winsky the truth okay one thing you made fun of my clothes don't come by my house we're done yeah we're not friends anymore okay so here take all your hannah montana posters and hillary duff hick clips back but i'm keeping the healings good day sir so thanks to all the shenanigans greg is at the bottom of the food chain rally won't talk to him and hangs out with angie now stupid girl and so in his quest to make everyone think he's cool greg has lost everything now ultimately this culminates at the end of the movie where rally wants one of his games back but greg doesn't want to give it back because he's mad at rally because riley didn't just roll over and take all his abuse instead stood up for himself some kind of friend you are and so they end up having a fight you're copying me this has got to be the worst fight ever [Music] well look who we have here you guys have no idea what i'm gonna do to you oh um we need to move this law on my shift at cinnabon starts in half an hour also i'm not allowed to be within 100 feet of a middle school so can we wrap this up real quick now what ends up happening is as punishment for what they did to the truck these guys make rally eat some of the cheese [Music] okay but like that cheese pool though i mean this movie better calm down but then the teacher comes and scares the big kids away and all the middle school kids come back and see the evidence of this war crime that took place and that's it their lives are totally ruined forever oh my god rowley jefferson h i hate the cheese i like the cheese to show you all how stupid this whole school is wrong friends the wrong lunch table the wrong butt it's all meaningless she's touched greg heavily has the cheese set and just like that greg rowley and angie are all friends again and greg learns that the real cheese touch was friendship all along so then the school year comes to an end and somehow despite everything greg and rally survived the sixth grade have a great summer here's your yearbook have a great summer here's your yearbook have a great summer okay i'm sorry but like they don't just hand out yearbooks okay those things cost like 80 bucks and you never look at them again you know because why would you oh honey i found your old yearbooks remember back when you were the ugliest and most awkward of your entire life and every day at school confirmed every single insecurity you had about yourself yes mom yes i do but yeah so that's pretty much the end of the movie i will say though having no idea what to expect i actually found this movie way funnier than i thought it would be it has this kind of like almost mean girls quality to it where like the writing the line delivery the acting in general and the casting like everything is just so good about this movie i mean it's really weird and gross for sure no doubt about that but like compared to all the other kids movies i've done so far this one's actually pretty good

Channel: Alex Meyers

Views: 3,792,262

Keywords: alex meyers, alex myers, alex mayers, diary of a wimpy kid, alex meyers disney

Id: jlw-h4NyGcg

Length: 16min 41sec (1001 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 19 2022