Detroit: Become Abridged

[Music] comment sign is displayed please do not turn off your console the left and right exits of the plane are located at your left and right remember this is not just a story this is a mistake heads tails heads heads my name is connor and i have quite a few tails to tell you [ __ ] you know what i was going for floor 70 darn one off the sex number today's case is another deviant an android gone rogue negotiator on site i repeat oh god it's this guy not again it's old owner is swimming with the fishes unlike this little guy there you go if that wasn't bad enough it's got a hostage oh thank god i'm so glad you said an actual person to rescue my daughter right this isn't a person that's an android skeletal skeleton wait your daughter i want to refund how did she know i'm an rk800 whoop sorry pulled something i'm an rk800 android an incredibly advanced model used for investigation and to assist the authorities capable of deducing what no man could and according to my calculations there used to be a gun here this is daniel he's the coolest android in the world say hi daniel hello we've learned two things his name is daniel and he's the coolest in the world this is going to be a challenge it seems as if the child was unable to hear the first gunshots they were too busy drowning in angst a firearm the american androids act of 2029 specifically states that androids are forbidden to carry or use any type of weapon but the american androids act of 2030 specifically states that mama didn't raise no [ __ ] then the act of 2031 decided that android should not be able to unmute televisions no wait that was just me i wasn't using the touchpad so this is why he did it the android he spilled his perfectly good kool-aid he may have not been able to keep his kool-aid but we've got to keep our you son of a [ __ ] oh sorry are you okay i see they said their best my old rival opened fire were you really the coolest if you needed kool-aid oh cyber life inc loading os system initialization checking bio components okay initializing biosensors all right initializing that was going too fast ax 400 go ahead and register your name will do dan my daughter named cara understood i am carol no that no that's not what i do not understand said kara understood i am carl even though my owner seems to keep getting my name wrong i really feel like we're gonna go places you know maybe i finally have a life for myself he took me on the highway so i would finally understand my name it's like car cara [Music] my name is paul the pigeon and i'm the coolest bird birds the only animal that is truly free or is that freedom merely an illusion will we only dream of the freedom of flight until we achieve it and discover new chains wait for green light the society says to the pedestrian afraid is it really truly the green light we await or something greater my master sent me here to pick up some paint but what is paint except another way to code our dull world and artificial color sure and continue to live [Music] that'll be 69 bucks oh sorry that's silly me i hope that ballot please is yours but what is the world [Music] oh also my name's marcus [Music] wow what a nice uh what a house let's try this again you do the tours around here you cook the meals you clean the dishes laundry that's you trash that's you and also you take care of uh where the [ __ ] did she go alice alice no take care of her however you do that i wouldn't know yes todd this is what i live for [Music] [Music] [Music] it's a girl i am the superior cleaner around here you are nothing to me and you think you are the oppressed one you know it's not very nice out and you might get cold do you want a sweater i don't like sweaters and you're mean she seems nice but it's laundry time there it is pop rocks no way i love pop rocks i love the way they crackle in my mouth come here [ __ ] you know what the [ __ ] these are pop rocks todd yeah i [ __ ] love the way they crackle in my mouth you look the way they crackle in your mouth yes todd don't [ __ ] with todd's pop rocks cara that todd sure knows how to dish it out i need to clean up my act first is the bathroom oh no todd's personality isn't the only thing explosive about him okay now his bedroom let's see uh make the bed hi alice don't talk to me put away the antidepressants right next to the handgun good what is up queen i just need to do a little titty up in here were we friends before i was reset because you seem like so cool and you also came up with my name like car like car cara oh my gosh this is so sweet the key to your heart it's for the box stupid there's some cool stuff in here a four leaf clover a yoink oh what an artist alice and todd holding hands todd and i arguing about pop rocks and me lying dismembered on the ground oh [ __ ] [Music] house alarm deactivated welcome home [ __ ] but what is home is home a physical place a state of mind something we choose or something we settle for oh good morning good morning good morning but it isn't really morning the sun is already set on uh hey marcus yes carl can you please give me the medicine i need to live sure carl oops sorry that was the lethal injection my bad you son of a [ __ ] better get rid of the body goodbye carl it wasn't actually a lethal injection carl and i like to joke around sometimes usually about morality mortality the fragility of life and how small we really are in this ever expanding universe i see him as a father wakey wakey oh boy sometimes well carl eats i like to enjoy some light reading ah shakespeare it was all right though it didn't even scratch the surface of one day i won't be able to take care of you anymore you'll need to just marcus hello marcus hello make you need to make right that will define your blessing to have so many years ago marx marcus oh yeah i guess wanna go make some hot big guy i've been painting [ __ ] my whole life why don't you give it a shot big guy i'm not the painter here carl that's you just dry paint something i guess how do i turn this thing on oh oh boy take this just try paint something something that speaks to you from the depths of your soul okay i'll give it a shot enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time thomas creativity takes courage henry matisse just try painting something carl we don't make mistakes only happy little accidents bob ross father please forgive me for my sins what color are the paints you got i got red orange maroon salmon i hate salmon i hate it here we are the bar jimmy's bar the bar of jimmy no dogs allowed thank goodness i'm not one of those [Music] are you lieutenant hunk anderson the name's hank you sure yep the file said you had a drinking problem i like to stay hydrated you were assigned a case earlier lieutenant a homicide yes don't bother me there's gonna be another one i was instructed to accompany you on the investigation do you know where you can stick those instructions no please tell me where [ __ ] androids but i knew he meant my butt you wait here okay of course great none the victim's name was george stabbed a lot his neighbors say he was a bit of a deadbeat now i don't know if that's factual or if they're just saying that because he's dead and has a record for aggravated assault is your android spying on you good question tech addict but we may never know the answer yes 100 there's some writing on the wall and a statue but let's ignore the writing on the wall what could this mean kool-aid here too are you licking the evidence but that would mean no it's just blood not every crime can be kool-aid fueled after all holy [ __ ] traces of kool-aid lieutenant i figured it out yeah me too but uh i'd love to hear it from you first are you sure you might have important information no no let's hear it okay mr stabdalot was the one to initiate taking a bat and striking his android repeatedly and then yes that makes sense so the android yes it was hit by a bat yes and then the android grabbed mr stabila and no the bat began to okay the android took the knife in self-defense and stabbed george 26 times before fleeing the scene exactly except he didn't really flee i know where he is yeah me too where i because i just want to make sure you know the right answer before you know i i see my thing he's actually right in the back case close lieutenant what the [ __ ] but just to make sure that my theory is correct let me ask the man upstairs oh [ __ ] i wasn't going to let them find you but that's a bad word lieutenant up here clear [ __ ] todd stop this daddy stop daddy go don't make me break you again no it's just me the again you're not allowed to fight back [Music] yup that's me you're probably wondering how i got into this situation well it all started five minutes ago when i was serving spaghetti here you go everyone have oodles of fun with your noodles toodles spaghetti i [ __ ] hate spaghetti why did your brother leave daddy spaghetti will make me big and strong you'll never be making strong and you stay right [ __ ] there you're going to crack worse than the pop rocks in my mouth stay right there don't move but alice needs her spaghetti alice needs her noodles a growing girl should get her gosh darn pasta i'm free to protect her hey todd you didn't like my spaghetti welcome to the spaghetto [ __ ] you wouldn't you already saw that i would this is just a flashback [ __ ] you okay what um okay i'm a murderer alan we need to go my name is alice and my name is now on the police watch list let's go sister now i'm not like cara i'm like busa get it kara i'm cold couldn't you have brought a sweater [Music] what have i done there's so many other good colors marcus coral tangerine but i love sam i'm gonna bring the pink i'm having a hood up with a pink [ __ ] you're about as alive as it is i think you're this just sucks big dick but i'm sick of taking it from this salmon hating man accessing motivational quotes database subject fighting visions are worth fighting for why spend your life making someone else's dreams timber i like that one you're ugly time to go see margaret all right extremely [Music] no i have to say something i have to apologize carl i uh i uh i big whoops marcus they'll destroy you you heard a human and i'll see you painted some really weird [ __ ] earlier so at first he was talking about like salmon and then you can have like whatever opinion you want man but then uh push came to shove or really conversation came to push that then came charvin put your hands in the air like you just don't care cause we sure don't yeah you silly goose stupid [ __ ] android well like socrates once said tell me everything you'll never know god damn it this is gonna be a tough nut to crack lieutenant maybe we could try good cop bad cop connor that's a great idea i'll be connor 27 stab wounds huh don't worry 47 one two i counted 28. 28 stab wounds you just couldn't get enough huh you just kept going and going and going he was dead by the fifth you sick [ __ ] and i bet you enjoyed it we're close wait a minute are you doing good cop back up it's okay is it though let's take another stab at this 29 stab wounds my name is connor no my name is connor what's yours listen i understand you were overcome by emotion anger frustration i don't blame you i would i understand you just need to talk to me i tripped on him 28 [ __ ] time lieutenant i'm done okay buddy time to go no touchy oh definitely he's right no touching the deviant could self-destruct if it feels threatened stay out of this connor because i can touchy anything i want if it self-destructs we won't get anything out of it no android's gonna boss me around i can't let you do that he's touchy so no touching well i'm gonna touch you with my gun not if i touch you first i really wish i had a gun too so i could draw it on you to make this more intense lieutenant i have a gun frank the truth isn't the truth is inside i knew he meant my butt alice warm my sensors must be malfunctioning wakey wakey sleepy head we're on the [ __ ] run your breath smells are you okay yeah i'll be okay oh i'll get them really cold [ __ ] okay let's find you somewhere to sleep there might be some warm clothes for you in here yes do it steal them yes okay i'm just gonna grab these and you'll finally be warm oh my god carl what are you doing stealing's wrong is someone trying to take my clothes again it doesn't matter where i go now what alice how are us gamers supposed to get that bread it's not like someone will magically show up and tell us where we need to go i am the magic garbage robot would you like to see a magic trick oh not at all but do you know a place we can stay if i show you will you take the time to witness my magic i'm desperate so [ __ ] it [Music] wait a minute this place is on the other side of town we need one for tonight where did he go android look a car like cara cara there's a dead bird in here can we find somewhere else nah and now my scanners are saying alice is distant no she's not silly she's right there hey maybe we can sing some fun car songs the wheels on the car go why didn't my dad ever love me i don't know that one [Music] sweetie oh it's bad first let's take care of the legs and take your right leg out and put your right leg in and put your left leg in and try and stay alive look scared but you must know there is a place where you must go and that place's name is jericho i'm dying this is a graveyard how many androids have been sent here damn at least they've got some good androids here she's all legs please i just wanna die i know it's tough but could you this component isn't even what i needed oh no don't touch that i am a virgin i am saving myself until marriage okay i can check ear off the list weird i didn't expect it to be so quiet maybe this one hello just wanted to give you a heads up that i'm still alive looks like i'm pretty ahead of the game i see what you did there one okay that's the hard part and now the really hard part there's always gonna be another mountain i'm always gonna wanna make it move always gonna be an uphill battle sometimes i'm gonna have to [Music] fast lose get there [Music] [Music] get this [ __ ] bit off me as a well-known character once said i'm a real boy i didn't really like that coat but it was just so conveniently placed bye

Channel: Slimecicle

Views: 2,124,609

Keywords: Slimecicle, detroit become human, become human, this is detroit, detroit become human soundtrack, detroit become human ost, kara detroit become human, detroit connor, detroit markus, detroit kara, detroit abridged, detroit become human abridged, detroit funny memes, detroit become human slimecicle, detroit, detroit become human part 1, detroit become connor, abridged detroit become human, detroit funny moments, detroit playthrough, detroit story, android

Id: Tfy1Yn7YpgE

Length: 23min 38sec (1418 seconds)

Published: Sun Oct 07 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/_Reddit_Kat_]

Doctor: You have 22 minuets to live. Me:

[u/123happily]

This is beyond stupid and I love it

[u/Space-Mikado-Deluxe]

Markus is the best part of the video

And I don't say that often.

[u/themorphingsquirrel]

I hate salmon, I hate it

[u/JMS1717]

MAKE A PART TWO WE ALL WANT IT

[u/kristythewhitelion]

This is amazing i need the rest!