>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK.
YOU KNOW MY NEXT GUESTS AS ONE OF THE HOSTS OF "THE DAILY SHOW
SHOW." PLEASE WELCOME DESSIE DESI
LYDIC. ♪ ♪
-- WELCOME DESSIE DESI LYDIC. ♪ ♪
-- WELCOME DESSIE DESI LYDIC. >> NICE DIGS.
> >> Stephen: LOVELY GUEST.
YOU HAVE BEEN A CORRESPONDENT ON "THE DAILY SHOW" FOR A LONG
TIME. WHAT HAS THE EXPERIENCE BEEN
LIKE? >> THE GREATEST JOB ON THE
PLANET. IT IS SO MUCH FUN.
I WAS A HUGE FAN OF THE SHOW, WATCHING YOU AND WANTING TO DO
WHAT YOU DID. YOU HAVE LEFT A HUGE MARK ON THE
SHOW. DID YOU KNOW THIS?
>> Stephen: YOU CAN HAVE THAT STEAMED OUT.
>> A LOT OF DRY CLEANING. YOU HAVE THE SECRET DOCUMENTS
THAT HAVE BEEN PASSED AROUND. >> Stephen: I WAS ASKED TO
GIVE ADVICE TO ROB RIGGLE BACK IN 2005.
>> YOU BROKE THIS INCREDIBLE DOCUMENT.
IT IS A TEN-POINT GUIDELINE ON HOW TO MAKE A GREAT FIELD PIECE.
>> Stephen: FIELD PIECES -- HOW DO YOU GET THE COMEDY WHEN
YOU ARE OUT THERE. YOU HAVE TO COME BACK WITH IT NO
MATTER WHAT. >> YOU HAVE TO GET THE PIECE,
YOU HAVE TO GET A GREAT INTERVIEW.
NOBODY TELLS YOU HOW TO DO THE JOB, YOU JUST GET THROWN INTO I
IT. >> Stephen: GO INTERVIEW THIS
MAN WHO LIVES WITH RATTLESNAKES. >> HAVE FUN.
NO SECURITY. YOU WROTE THIS AMAZING RULEBOOK
AND IT HAS BEEN PASSED AROUND. >> Stephen: DID ANYTHING LEAP
OUT TO YOU THAT YOU REMEMBER? >> NOT ONE THING HAS COME IN
HANDY, NOT ONE SINGLE THING. WE PASSED IT ON, JORDAN PASSED
IT TO ME, I PASSED IT ONTO OTHER CORRESPONDENCE.
NOW THAT I AM HOSTING THE SH SHOW --
>> Stephen: IT IS A TOTALLY DIFFERENT GIG.
YOU CORRESPONDENT FOR DIFFERENT YEARS.
WHAT FEELS DIFFERENT? IT IS A TOTALLY DIFFERENT JOB.
>> THE WAY THAT I CAN DESCRIBE IT IS IT FEELS LIKE YOU ARE A
PASSENGER IN AN AIRPLANE AND SUDDENLY SOMEONE TELLS YOU YOU
NEED TO JUMP INTO THE COCKPIT AND TAKE THE CONTROLS AND YOU
ARE BUILDING THE PLANE IN THE AIR AS YOU ARE FLYING.
LIKE BOEING. [LAUGHTER]
>> Stephen: IT IS. A LOT OF DISCOVERY AS YOU GO
ALONG. >> I THINK THAT IS HOW THEY DO
IT NOW. >> Stephen: WHAT WAS YOUR PATH
TO "THE DAILY SHOW"? HOW DID YOU GET THE GIG?
I WORK FOR ABC NEWS AT THE TIME. I HAD WRITTEN FOR DANA CARVEY,
WRITTEN FOR "SNL," THAN I DID NOT HAVE A JOB AND I WAS A
CORRESPONDENT FOR "GOOD MORNING AMERICA" AND I HATED IT.
IT WAS JUST TO PAY THE RENT AND SOMEBODY CALLED AND SAID YOU
SHOULD GO SEE THE DAILY SHOW. I GOT THE GIG AND FOUND OUT I
GOT THE BEST GIG IN THE WORLD. >> IT IS.
IT IS A LITTLE DIFFERENT NOW. I WAITED TABLES MANY YEARS
BEFORE GETTING THIS GIG BUT I AUDITION THREE TIMES.
I WANTED IT SO BADLY. THE THIRD TIME I AUDITIONED, YOU
PREPARE A SELF TAPE, WRITE YOUR OWN PEACE AND DO A COUPLE PIECES
THEY GIVE YOU. >> Stephen: BY THE TIME THEY
GOT TO YOU, THEY HAD STANDARDS. I WALKED IN AND SAID WHAT IS THE
SHOW? >> THINGS CHANGED AND IT BECAME
A COVETED SHOW TO BE PART OF BECAUSE OF YOUR WORK ON THE
SHOW. IT IS TRUE.
>> Stephen: YOU WALKED IN AND YOU NAILED IT.
>> I SUBMITTED A TAPE AND IT WAS MONTHS BEFORE I HEARD ANYTHING
BACK AND I THOUGHT -- THAT IS IT, THREE TIMES, NO-GO.
SIX MONTHS LATER I GOT A CALL TO COME IN AND MEET TREVOR NOAH AND
BY THE TIME I GOT THAT CALL, I WAS PREGNANT WITH MY CHILD AND I
THOUGHT -- THIS IS MY DREAM JOB, WE ARE SO EXCITED TO BE
EXPECTING, DO I TELL THEM OR NOT TELL THEM, SO I FLEW TO
NEW YORK, AUDITIONS, AND I WAITED AFTER TO TALK TO THE
SHOWRUNNER, PRODUCER OF THE SHOW, AND I TOLD HER, THIS IS MY
DREAM JOB, I WILL BE HERE TOMORROW IF ASKED, BUT I WILL BE
STARTING THE JOB PREGNANT AND SHE WAS LIKE, GREAT, AMAZING,
CONGRATULATIONS. WE WILL USE IT ON THE SHOW OR WE
WILL NOT, WHATEVER YOU WANT. AND I HAVE NOT LEFT SINCE.
PRETTY COOL. [APPLAUSE]
>> Stephen: YOU WERE WAITING TABLES BEFORE YOU GOT THIS GIG?
DID YOU ENJOY THAT? I DID FIVE YEARS BEHIND THE
APRON. >> I DID NOT ENJOY IT, BUT
PROBABLY BECAUSE I W WAS A TERRIBLE WAITRESS.
>> Stephen: WHAT DID YOU DO WRONG?
>> WE HAD THESE INTRICATE SPECIALS AS PART OF EVERY MENU
AND I COULD NEVER REMEMBER THE SPECIALS.
I WOULD JUST MAKE THEM UP. >> Stephen: YOU WOULD MAKE
THEM UP? WHAT IF THEY ORDERED THEM?
>> I'M SO SORRY. WE ARE OUT OF THAT.
IT WAS SO POPULAR WE COULD NOT KEEP UP.
>> Stephen: IF I PUT YOU ON THE SPOT, I -- DO YOU HAVE
SPECIALS TONIGHT? >> I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED.
TONIGHT WE HAVE A DELIGHTFUL VEAL SHOULDER WITH A PEPPERCORN
RUB AND A CLEMENTINE, GRASSY TAPENADE.
RIGHT. >> Stephen: GRASSY TAPENADE?
>> THE UNDER NOTES ARE VERY GRASSY.
CLEMENTINE REDUCTION, AND YOU ARE PROBABLY WONDERING WHAT
COMES ON THE SIDE. >> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU HAVE?
>> WE HAVE A BRIE INFUSED POLENTA DUST.
>> Stephen: JUST THE DUST. >> IT IS THE BEST PART.
YOU SPRINKLE THAT RIGHT AT THE TABLE.
>> Stephen: YOU SPRINKLE THE POLENTA.
>> WE JUST SPRINKLE IT. >> Stephen: I WILL TAKE THE
VEAL. >> YOU SHOULD HEAR ABOUT OUR
DESSERTS. MY COLLEAGUE STEPHEN, WOULD YOU
TELL THE KIND PEOPLE ABOUT THE DESSERTS TONIGHT?
>> Stephen: WE HAVE AN ESPRESSO GRANITA THAT IS AMAZING
AND THAT IS SERVED OVER A THIN SLICE OF A PAIR TIRAMISU.
IT IS CARAMELIZED PEAR AND WE ALWAYS HAVE CHEESECAKE.
>> ALWAYS ROOM FOR CHEESECAKE. >> Stephen: DID YOU MAKE MONEY
DOING THIS? >> I DID.
IT IS A MIRACLE. >> Stephen: I LOVED BEING A
WAITER. I LOVED BEING SLAMMED.
I LOVE THE FEELING OF BEING BUSY.
>> THERE IS A RUSH. YOU JUST LEAVE IT ALL BEHIND
WHEN YOU WALK AWAY. YOU JUST GO HOME AND LEAVE IT
BEHIND. >> Stephen: AT THE END OF THE
DAY, NOT WHEN YOU QUIT AND WALK OUT OF THE BUILDING.
>> MAYBE THAT IS PART OF THE PROBLEM AND WHY I WAS SUCH A BAD
WAITRESS. >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A
BREAK. WE WILL BE BACK WITH DESI LYDIC.
