Depression Clean With Me | My Mental Health Journey From Complete Disaster to Clean

if you've watched any of my videos then you know that I have experienced my fair share of complete disasters my home has been in a devastating State on more occasions than I'd like to admit and you know what they always say that the state of your house often reflects the state of your mind and that cannot be further from the truth for me in today's video guys I actually wanted to kind of open up with you a bit about my mental health journey I feel like I've kind of hinted at it a few times in the past where I've said oh I can't post right now because I'm not feeling good or I'm not in a good space mentally um but I have also mentioned to you guys that I am in a better place than I have been in a long time so I thought in this video that I might just do kind of a chat with you guys to share with you you know some of the things that I've done to kind of help my mental health and to kind of help me be a better Homemaker um so yeah this is definitely going to be more of a chatty day is going to be music in there I'm gonna be sharing with you some of my other videos that I have filmed in the past while I talk about this and yeah I hope you get some insight as to how you know I've kind of dealt with this this different seasons in my life and hopefully this will also give you guys some tips if you need need some to help you with your journey if you're struggling with mental health right now then hopefully this will kind of help you a little bit as well so let's go ahead and go into this video [Music] [Music] [Applause] so I remember when I actually fast posted this video it was in the height of c19 if you know what I mean and everyone was literally freaking out about the world what is going to happen people were dying you know there was just a lot going on and as a single mom I was I was in a place of shock like I was worried during this time I was actually working two jobs while carrying with my kids and I just did not know what I was going to do I felt hopeless I felt overwhelmed I was afraid and I think there was a time when I just kind of gave up I just stopped caring um I just didn't really want to be bothered with anything because I just felt so I wasn't definitely in a very depressive state where I just felt really hopeless and just didn't really feel like things were going to get any better in my situation and so I my house kind of got into this place and you know I don't know what I was thinking here like I don't know if I was embarrassed about posting it at the time but I just decided okay you know what I'm gonna pull up my camera and I'm gonna share this video with strangers on the internet and I'm gonna post it no matter what I'm just gonna post it and I'm gonna show that you can do it too as a single mom if you're struggling that was my biggest intention in posting this video now when it when it kind of posted it can it definitely blew up like at first I was just like okay I'm getting a few views here and there and then it started to get a lot of views to the point where it got to 2 million views and I was just like wow that's amazing um a lot of you met me at this uh during this video um is how a lot of you kind of found out about me and that's one of the things that I'm like appreciative of this video is that not only was it a time when I was like afraid but I decided to still you know go on and do something about my fear but also I was I got a chance to meet so many people that I that were inspired by that video now even though I got a lot of people that were inspired I got a lot of hate comments from this video people were calling me names they called me pig they called me so many different things um people were threatening to call CPS on me um and that also just like added to my depression because I'm like now I'm like oh my goodness am I gonna lose my kids because I posted this video like you know what if my ex sees this and he tries to see to kind of use it against me like what's gonna happen then like that also like made it even worse so even following that video I still kind of was really scared about posting content but now three years I have passed and and I look back at this and I'm like wow like even though at the time I feel like I was really ashamed of myself like when I started getting those negative comments I was really ashamed and I kind of felt like what is wrong with me like why would I let my house get to this point even was like why would I even post it um but now I'm like looking at it and I'm like you know what um I'm proud of this woman I'm proud of her for standing up I'm proud of her for posting even when she was afraid I'm proud of her for getting up and taking care of her home um and I think there was a point here when I actually wanted to delete this video and most of my cleaning videos I wanted to just delete them because I felt like they reflected poorly on me um that I was a bad mother that I you know wasn't taking good care of my kids in my house um so I wanted to delete them but then again I realized that you know somebody else might be in the same position that I'm in that I was in you know where they're watching that video and they're probably struggling you know they're struggling emotionally they're struggling mentally they don't know how to you know move on and they watch this video and they get some sort of inspiration that they can also get up and do it so instead of like deleting it I decided to just keep it up and allow the negative comments to continue finding my way back [Music] I'll Stand up here I am here I stand Here I Am his life and hope tomorrow [Music] [Applause] belong to come [Music] stands [Music] here I am [Music] his life from home to home [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] Horizon waiting to beside with all of my friends [Music] [Applause] [Music] cause life belong to my home to man icure [Applause] [Music] [Applause] okay so now that I've given you a bit of a background um I do want to start a state that if you have kind of struggled with your mental health be sure to let me know down below uh your experiences like it's not really a fun topic to talk about but I think it's really empowering when we can all share our experiences and be able to help others who may be struggling um so be sure to leave leave me a comment down below to let me know what you think I mean what your experiences have been um I have kind of been in a place now where I feel like I am I like I'm ready to share my experiences you know I'm ready to to kind of you know be vulnerable and kind of share what I've been going through um to kind of help somebody else who may be struggling in a situation like I was so now that I've kind of you know gotten a little bit of that background out of the way let's talk about some of the things that have kind of helped me so the first thing for me he was getting to a place where I realized that I wasn't really lazy I just needed help mentally like mental help um and I think it's so crazy when I uh when I posted the other video like I got a lot of comments people were like telling me Oh you're lazy you're you know you're you you don't know how to take care of your home and all of these different things and I'm like I I know that I'm not lazy um you know like there's something else that's making it hard for me to take care of my home and at the time I didn't really understand it very well like I didn't fully comprehend how um how my mental health was affecting me in taking care of my home so I didn't really understand that as well um but now that I'm looking back at it I realize you know like at this stage like I was completely overwhelmed I was I was overwhelmed by my responsibilities you know I was living in a constant fear of um fear of you know what am I gonna pay my bills how am I gonna pay my bills you know anxiety and all of that stuff just grippled me I was also really struggling with co-parenting like dealing with an ex that was causing me a lot of stress at the time just made it hard you know on top of the demands of being a single mom and then there was that guilt and regret from being a single mom like at the same I was you know being the way that my ex was acting towards me just kind of led me to feel a lot of regret a lot of guilt that I had allowed myself to be in that in that place to be a single mom so those things were really like crippling me and they just kind of made it hard for me to feel optimistic about the future um and that's hence why things kind of got to the place where they were and in the instance of this video on top of all those things that I was struggling with then Here Comes c19 you know and now it's like oh my goodness are we gonna die you know like what's gonna happen so all of those things together really affected my mental health so I know I realized you know that I had Seasons when I was you know I was happy I was doing well I could take care of my kids take care of my house and then I had other Seasons where I could barely leave their bed all I could do was just take care of my kids you know cook for them give them a bath and you know try to entertain them and you know that's the best that I could do during those times but I really didn't have enough energy to clean my space or you know take good care of it so now that I'm looking back at it I'm like you know what this was a result of the stress that I had on me and when you actually realized the root cause you know of your depression of your anxiety and whatever it is that you're experiencing like that's when you can actually start making changes and start doing things that you need to do you know to get back [Music] you said that you needed me like a cargo you will carry me [Music] I just hope you know [Music] even though it makes no sense foreign [Music] [Music] put it on me [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] I said that I needed you [Music] like a late night [Music] I just hope you've been through worse too much of emotions [Music] [Music] would you hurt me [Music] [Applause] [Music] thank you so much [Music] wanna pick a fight with everything seems so good [Music] I guess I can't help myself [Music] my baby [Music] [Applause] [Music] thank you now doing these times when I was struggling the most I think one of the biggest things that really helped me was that I really leaned on God a lot like I plan on actually doing a blog post about this but being a single mom has really pushed me and forced me to strengthen my relationship with God a lot and I'm so grateful for that um I got to this place where I was like okay I'm really struggling like um I'm struggling mentally I'm struggling with a lot of different things there's really not a lot of people that I can talk to but God is here he hears my prayers um he's close to the Brokenhearted and so I just went to him and I just talked to him I you know bore out my heart and I you know told him how I was feeling and that has really kind of helped me a lot um you know God is good God is able to restore the broken parts that we have God is able to help us um and I think there was a part of me that I kind of felt like you know as a Christian I shouldn't be feeling depressed like you're a Christian why are you depressed but I realized you know there are actual characters in the Bible that were depressed you know we have you have David who um you know had an affair with Bathsheba and then he killed um her husband and you know he you know in several places and Psalms he kind of talks about you know his depression his his despair you know from his scene and you know you think it's like God actually called David a man after his own heart you know and still like even after he knew even when he knew that he was going to sin against him even when he knew that he was going to struggle um with depression and with all those different things that he struggled with after his sin um he still you know called him a man after his heart and then you also have Elijah Elijah you know witnessed so many great victories that God did during his time and after like witnessing the big um Victory with the Baal Gods um he still he goes into a depressive State because he's been chased by um I forget her name by uh by Jezebel he's been chased around and you know he's fearing for his life and he feels depressed and God is there God is there to to soothe him to be with him and he doesn't reprimand him or look down on him like how can you be depressed after all the things that I've done um you know he actually is there he feeds him and that was like so crazy it's so crazy to see that um and then you have job like he also you know goes through all of this loss um and God is there for him as well Moses as well like there's so many different characters in the Bible that you know uh go through moments of depression of despair of worry and we see how God Comforts them and is there for them and I think just that kind of inspired me to understand that God is he's not angry with me because I'm depressed or because I feel hopeless or I feel down um he's there with me and I know for me most of my depression some of it uh you know came about because I kind of felt bad for my sin for the fact that I allowed myself to be in you know in this position so just knowing that God still loved me even after What I've Done um that really kind of took takes that weight off of your shoulder to help you understand that he's he's not gonna leave um he's seen the future before it happens he knows everything that's gonna happen and everything that has happened he's already seen it and he has you know um accounted for it all when we trust in him so leaning on God coming to him and being honest with him and just saying God like I'm struggling I'm going through this situation I feel guilty I feel sad about all the things that I have happened I feel worried being able to talk to him openly just really takes off the bottom and kind of puts it on somebody who is strong enough to handle all of it so I really encourage you to do that to just if you are feeling really sad and depressed and you're a Christian and you've put your trust in God to lean on him to go to him to let him you know be your refuge and and just trust that he will you know bring you through another thing also is just reading the Bible and have you know having Bible verses you know written around that kind of remind you not to worry not to stress not to you know fear because God is in control um I we when we've trusted God with our life then we can be assured that he he is in control and he has he knows everything that's gonna happen um and he's strong enough to handle all of it [Music] stop it [Music] laughs [Music] [Music] thank you [Music] [Applause] [Music] foreign [Music] thank you now the other thing that I did um to help me and this is actually something that I I ended up doing like years after you know after I realized that I I'm I'm really struggling with depression or I I really need help is that I actually finally sought a the help of a therapist um I was really kind of afraid of doing this before there's a lot of stigma when it comes to therapy like oh you must be really you know sick if you're actually you know sick in therapy um something must be really really wrong with you um so there's a lot of stigma and that definitely kept me away from the therapist's office because I felt like I didn't want that attached to me that oh my gosh I'm going to therapy um I didn't want that attached to me that something was really wrong with me but I've realized that you know it's actually I feel like it's actually becoming more trendy nowadays though that you hear about it a lot more um but I you know in the beginning I was just really afraid I didn't really want to you know go and tell somebody else you know what I was going through I didn't know if they could even help me um so I didn't really want to pursue that um that option in the beginning but you know last was it last year is when I just reached a point where I'm like oh my goodness like I I don't want to keep going like this like I was so unmotivated the things that used to interest me in the past just weren't interesting me and I had just been in that place for so long that I just was like I really want something to change something needs to change right now because I can't keep going on like this so I finally sought a therapist I kind of went with a Christian therapist because I wanted somebody who would be able to you know rely on the Bible for biblical truth um so that I can get you know wisdom from the Bible um in terms of helping me with my with my my problems so my therapist has been really helpful gosh she's been amazing especially since she's kind of helped me not only with not only with um my depression but also with um co-parenting like she's given me a lot of tips in on how to like set boundaries on how to kind of manage some of the things that I'm struggling with um she's really been really helpful to help me understand how I can handle certain certain behaviors or certain things that happen so I really am grateful for that and I would really encourage you if you're in a place where you're really struggling um that you should definitely seek a therapist it may take you some time to find one that you actually like sync with or you feel like really um understands your issues and is able to address them but definitely take the time to look at that option if you feel like you're in a place where you're really really struggling and you just need somebody a profession know to to be able to you know help you understand how to navigate this part of your life [Music] did you ever stop and think why I spend too much time just getting ready [Music] let me be honest I don't know a single thing that I haven't done to make you notice me let me be real here when I see you my heart starts racing but I don't know if I like this Jason and play it and waiting around it's a shame that my hands start shaking all of the time when you're around me this time this time [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] when you don't have to there's so much that I'm still keeping to myself cause you don't listen babe [Music] [Music] same thing my hands start shaking all of the time when you're around me but this time this time [Music] [Applause] [Music] going crazy tonight [Music] now tip number three here is more about you know exercise and taking care of yourself so I have realized like actually before before I became a mom like I used to go to the gym all the time like I would be there for two hours almost every single day but after becoming a mom like I just kind of stopped I stopped going to the gym I stopped you know exercising and taking care of myself and then even more like after when the stresses and the challenges kind of um became became a lot like I just didn't I didn't take care of myself at all and of course that kind of adds on to the depression when you're not taking care of yourself when you're not eating the right Foods when you're not exercising and moving your body like you're more likely to feel depressed and to continue to stay in a depressive State um so going coming out more is really beneficial like being out in nature even for a walk or just going to the park um it just it really improves your mood a lot when you get out of your environment um especially since your environment kind of adds on to that stress that you may be struggling with but when you can get out of your environment and get out and you know be in nature um it really really helps [Music] foreign [Music] [Music] [Music] is started [Music] looking fingers [Music] another sandwich [Music] [Applause] [Music] foreign [Music] foreign [Music] everything [Music] [Music] now going off of the um exercise you know the other thing is to just really take care of yourself and practice self-care um you know I used to think that self-care was selfish self-care is something that you do when you don't have kids okay when you don't have responsibilities when you don't have to work two jobs that's when you do self-care you don't have any time to do self-care when you've got two kids who need your attention that was my my mindset before but now I realize just how important it is um and I don't mean like being selfish and disregarding your responsibilities so that you can go and have a spa day every day that's not what I mean what I mean is establishing um little habits or um little uh routine teens that you want to do to kind of help you be better even when it comes to going out on a spa day that is actually pretty good and you can do it once in a while where you just take yourself out and you know you know take yourself on a date or get a manicure get a pedicure the biggest thing with these things is that they just really improve your outlook on yourself and when you start to view yourself in a positive light you're more likely to also um that kind of also impacts your mind you know and how how you think about yourself how you think about your situation so when you can get yourself out of your environment and put yourself in a new environment where you're taking care of yourself it has a significant impact and I'm also like at that stage where I am priority prioritizing this even more you know just making sure that I am feeding my body the right foods and just doing the things that I I know are going to benefit me and help me to be better and those things just really impact you they really help you in terms of your mental health like it's crazy just how food itself has an impact you know on your on your mental health so like consuming foods that are rich in nutrients that boosts your um that that boosts your mood those that also kind of helps you with um you know not feeling depressed a lot um so yeah that's definitely another tip that I would recommend for you if you're not already doing it that you definitely want to start doing that as well oh [Music] [Music] [Music] foreign [Music] [Music] [Music] foreign [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] foreign [Music] [Music] [Music] foreign [Music] [Music] thank you foreign [Music] okay like tip number five here would be to have the right support systems in place to kind of help you as a single mom or even just a mom in general like we definitely need support you need it's it's really helpful when you have people that you can lean on when you're struggling with something I really thank God that I've had such a great support system in terms of my family they've been there through everything they've really really helped me a lot in a lot of different ways so I'm really grateful for them um you know what's so funny with me is that when I try to tell my parents I mean being that my parents are African they don't really understand or um appreciate how depression can affect you um you know growing up in Africa like you know you don't really talk about depression as much like everybody's struggling like what do you have to like talk about um so when I was when I first came to them and I was like you know I'm really struggling I feel depressed rest and I feel sad you know their response was just suck it up and keep on going because we're all struggling and I definitely understand that their Viewpoint because that's the mindset that they have you know when they struggle too they don't really talk about their mental health issues it's they just keep it to themselves and just keep it pushing um and I definitely understand that part but even even though like I I even though I kind of felt that that I couldn't really talk to them about you know oh I'm struggling with depression I they were still there for me they really helped me in a lot of places and a lot of ways that I needed help and whether it was financially or in taking care of my kids when I just you know needed a break they just have been there for me so I really would encourage you if you don't already have it to create a support system of people that you can lean on when you're feeling depressed or when you're feeling like um you know hopeless or like things just aren't going to get better for you so having that in place just it just really helps tremendously um so that could be your family you could be your friends um you know it could be a support group that you find online um they definitely have a lot of support groups online for moms as well and that you can look on you can look up and find some support that way um and yeah just you definitely got to get out there and and find something one of the biggest things that I'm I've realized you know in this situation especially when you're a single mom and you don't really have anybody to talk to like you really have to get out of your own way and go out there and actually meet people when you need the help like you can't just stay you know in your in your house you can't just stay in in that state and expect somebody to come you know and ask you hey do you need some help like you actually have to get out and look for whatever it is that you need so if you need support get out there and look for it um um it's really it's it's makes a world of a difference when you have that than when you don't another thing is try not to be alone and isolated too much especially when you feel sad or you feel overwhelmed by your emotions um we I this is something that I I struggle with too because I like to be alone like I'm a Loner I'd rather be in the house by myself than go outside and be with people but when I am depressed when I'm feeling sad when I have all of these thoughts running through my head it is not in my best interest to be by myself um it's much better when I'm with other people even when I don't want to be you know when you're with other people it definitely takes your mind off of yourself and what you're going through and kind of puts your focus somewhere else so I would definitely encourage you not to be alone and isolated when you're depressed if you don't have any family or friends nearby then you can always just go out to a restaurant go out to a different place where there are other people I feel like even just seeing people happy seeing people um you know doing things it may make your depression worse or it may make you feel better to be out there to be with other people but yeah definitely try not to be alone and just try to be out with people that you can you know be happy with and just enjoy life with instead of just being by yourself thank you [Music] foreign [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] beautiful [Music] baby [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] thank you foreign [Applause] [Music] tip number six goes hand in hand with self-care and taking care of yourself and that is just to get enough sleep it's so crazy how these small things have such a large impact on our lives but sleep is so important like um I have actually there actually studies that show that people who don't get enough sleep are more likely to be depressed so sometimes you know if you're in a season where you're you're feeling like your mood sweet your your moods kind of are off um then you may just need to you know get some more sleep and that can be a hard thing when you're a single mom you know like how am I supposed to get enough sleep when I have all of this other responsibilities that I need to do but you have to find ways to you know get enough sleep so that you can be able to be well rested and be able to will function properly for your sake and for the sake of your kids you can take naps during the day you can you know work out your schedule and your routine so that you go to sleep a little earlier whatever it is that you need to do that works with your situation you definitely need to do it so that you are taking care of yourself so that you can do the same thing for your um for your children and for your family but it's just it's so crazy just how something as simple as sleep like has such a profound impact on our lives [Applause] [Music] but that's not the truth everyone always keep falling in love again [Music] [Music] [Music] we both wanted different things [Music] the only one who's feeling this pain [Music] everywhere [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] I wish I could say I was finally over you but that's not the truth [Music] [Music] once left by the way if you're enjoying this video so far be sure to leave me a comment down below letting me know your thoughts about this topic leave me a like and if you're not subscribed make sure you subscribe for more content like this I also have a Blog at faithmartini.com where I share you know some of the some of my experiences as a single mom so you definitely want to check that out as well um I do share some tips of some of the ways that I have overcome some struggles in my life as well so yeah that's definitely another spot that you definitely want to check um after you're done watching this video but tip number seven for me something that has really kind of helped um is with just practicing mindfulness um and this is something that my therapist kind of helped me understand with mindfulness you definitely it's just a way of you um being in the moment comment instead of being in the future or being in other places that cause you to you know stress or feel anxious or feel depressed um I've realized with my depression as I mentioned previously it was as a result of like more some of it you know came from you know just being stressed being overwhelmed and then also just guilt and shame from my choices and my um the things that I've done in the past so those things made me feel like hopeless that I don't have anything to look forward to but when I kind of step back and start to look at my life um you know in in the present instead of focusing on the past um it really kind of has an impact because then you're not worrying about what you did in the past but you're focus on what's going on right now and how you can change right now to be better so that's definitely a huge thing that you can do you can meditate on scripture and that kind of helps you to be in the present and to just um focus on what's more important than you know the thing that is causing you uh depression or anxiety or stress um so I definitely would encourage you to do that as well and to seek out different techniques that you can use to cope when you find yourself in those periods of you know depression [Music] thank you [Music] [Music] foreign [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] thank you [Music] [Music] okay [Music] [Music] foreign [Music] now another tip that could help you when you're in a depressed state is to find hobbies that you enjoy and to do those um I know you may not feel like oh I I don't feel like doing anything I just want to sit down and be in my thoughts but that's definitely not the place that you want to be um find activities Hobbies things that you used to like before that brought you Joy and do those things again it could be you know cooking or spending time with your kids or some sort of arts and crafts activity whatever it is that you really like to do that you feel like you've kind of lost interest in because you've felt hopeless about things or you've been a different state try to go back to those things or find new things that you can be excited about um to get out of that depression State you definitely have to get out of your own world and be out doing something different something that kind of helps you to not think about your problems so you know whatever that is for you you should definitely seek that out and do it often uh because it will give you a sense it will give you something to look forward to when you don't have anything um to look forward to you know you can look forward to painting or um or cooking or going to the gym or trying out a new exercise and that bites off definitely improves your mood um and helps you to have a better outlook on your life a great Hobby and I I mean you can consider it a hobby would be to volunteer and put yourself in a place where you're serving other people like when you have to help somebody else it definitely takes you out of your world especially when that person is doing worse than you are it really kind of helps you appreciate what you have and puts your life into perspective when you can see the struggles that other people have so volunteering is a really great way for you to you know pursue a hobby that you might like while being of service to other people who may need you and actually being of service and putting yourself in a position where somebody else needs you um it really uplifts your spirit and helps you to not feel like you're worthless or useless but to feel helpful to somebody so that's a great great way for you to you know get out of your out of your head out of your comfort zone and to be out um helping somebody else doing something that you enjoy [Music] foreign [Music] [Music] thank you [Music] [Music] thank you [Music] foreign [Music] thank you [Music] foreign [Music] foreign [Music] with you different ways that I have found that have helped me with my depression my I actually don't like to use the term my depression because I don't own it it's not it doesn't belong to me but ways that I have helped me cope with depression I hope that my tips and my kind of my story even though it's not the full story but my story actually helps you if you you're going through a season in your life where you feel discouraged where you feel depressed what you feel like you you know don't have anything to live for I hope this is gives you the motivation to keep going um and I hope that the tips that I have provided for you will kind of give you some ideas on how you can overcome what you're struggling with and you know rise so that you can be the best mom to your children um and best for yourself as well because your family needs you your kids need you so um when you're in a good place mentally you're definitely able to take better care of them and your home and making sure your home stays in a in a state that it needs to stay in so that your family and yourself can function properly but yeah guys let me know in the comments what you thought about this video let me know if you enjoyed the tips if you have more tips I would love to hear them so be sure to leave them down below for me to read and hear about those and I really do appreciate you watching this video and sticking with it um so far guys and I'll be seeing you on the next one pretty soon here so thank you so much for watching remember if you're not subscribed be sure to subscribe for more content and I'll be seeing you on another one pretty soon bye foreign [Music]

Channel: Faith Matini

Views: 1,063,652

Keywords: depression, depression clean with me, complete disaster, cleaning motivation, Tips for Overcoming Depression, Cleaning with depression, How to clean when you're depressed, Mental health and cleaning, depression cleaning videos, depression cleaning time lapse, cleaning motivation 2023, cleaning motivation music, complete disaster clean with me, complete disaster cleaning motivation, complete disaster clean, clean depression room with me, cleaning my room with depression

Id: 9j2l89CrHtE

Length: 66min 30sec (3990 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 01 2023