Dealing With Relationships In The Midst of Crisis

hello everyone welcome to this Sunday edition of Facebook live I am so delighted to have my wife and life partner with me dr. Cindy Chen Tomlinson and we are ready to deal with this subject that we've been excited about in fact it's a subject that everybody can relate to because we're talking about relationships and relationships are awesome and so what we want you to do is get your notepads out possibly even your bibles and we want you to join us in one of the most if not the most important study of all that which concerns our relationships and that's a powerful part of what we do yeah yeah the whole universe operates on relationships and I think you know right now with kovat 19 mm-hmm a lot of relationships are in crisis no doubt yeah no doubt about it and because of that crises we need to address some things you know people are concerned about their finances people are concerned about their jobs people are concerned about groceries but really those things are just surface issues when it as far as it concerns relationships this is the foundation everything is established on relationships actually it's relationships that makes literally makes the world go round and so the whole universe revolves around relationships now let me throw this in before we really get started because don't think just because you are a Christian you are you believe ER don't think that automatically your relationships are safe relationships need first of all they need work and with every relationship there comes a risk and then of course if we do do the work we deal with the risk there's always a good reward and ever relationship this is what we live off of this is what makes everything else success successful our relationships and so we want you to stay tuned in with us today we're not going to be here long but we want to give you enough information to enhance the good relationships that you already have and just in case you're struggling in your relationships we believe that what we're going to share today is going to help you to get through some of these hardships and to get through some of these difficult times all right so we are ready to deal with it and I hope you all are coming on and I can see that you are we're looking for people to be with us today all from all over the world because we actually believe that this is a worldwide subject when we're dealing with relationships what I want you to do is to call your family and friends because relationships is such a broad topic so we're gonna narrow it down this morning and talk about marriage in crises and this is going to be so relevant to all of you and that are married especially newlyweds and those of you that are struggling right now in your relationship and relationship call marriage and something that my husband just said that marriage relationships take work work and so the word marriage is not a noun it's a verb it's something that you do it's not just an institution that you enter into is something that you do so we're gonna give you an opportunity to call call your parents call your cousin's call your friends your best friends and let them know that we're on and we're talking about marriage I've discovered that we can't get enough information and tools to make our marriages work and there is something that happens in a marriage when marriage is under a crises or under warfare and an attack and we're looking forward to sharing with you and not just this week babe for the next couple of weeks for the next couple of weeks and and here's another interesting part of this this is information that some couples that are doing well right now you may not feel like you need this right now but I guarantee you as time goes on the principles the information revelation the insight that we're going to share with you I guarantee you you're going to put this to work later on so the best time to prepare yourself is when there is no storm I always say it but people sometimes forget to understand it that you can't build a house and a hurricane you build while things are calm you build while things are going well and so right now in the middle of all of this it's time to stock up on revelation stock up on information it's time to get a hold of some insights that you can put to work later on a little bit later on at least down the road so we're getting ready to get started there are all kinds of crises taking place in the world today however there is no greater crises than a relationship crises and this is a crises that's taking place everywhere right now how many of you know that it was a relationship crises that caused Jesus to come to bring us back to the Father so that tells me relationships are actually on the top of God's a list of priorities we're hearing more and more reporting on the rise of domestic violence child abuse depression suicide people are worried people are stressed people feel hopeless but the good news is there is a God that sits on the throne he has all power in his hand and he is able since he dealt with death hell and the grave he can with anything that we're going through right now in this life so there is hope and so what we want to do with that said we want to we want to look at the importance of three areas in the marriage relationship and these are things that we really must address right now in the brief time that we have together and so we don't have some questions that we're going to go through and I think that these questions apply to everybody that's watching and everybody that will watch and so first thing is this we want to look at how do you manage number one how do you manage your marriage relationship in the middle of this storm KOCO at nineteen second question is how do you manage your marriage when handling financial hardships and the third question is how do you deal with the issue of domestic violence in a marriage especially if you are a part of a faith community so those are the things that we we must consider in this session we're going to deal with this more as time goes on but right now those three questions are crucial because those are the things that many people are dealing with we're hearing it now more than ever before and all of our all of our social help organizations are overloaded and overcrowded and a lot of those people that's going for help are believers so let's do what we can do today and let's consider this question first of all how do you manage your marriage in this storm called kovat 19 well you know we lived in Florida for a while and we still live in Florida periodically and if you know anything about Florida there are a lot of hurricanes and storms that come through from time to time here's what I've noticed those of us that live in the area called the Treasure Coast back in the 15th century 17th century somewhere in there there were a fleet of treasure ships that sunk off the coast of Florida a lot of valuable treasure silver and go emeralds all kinds of treasures were lost but here's what's interesting every time there is a storm every time there's a storm what storms do is they uncover things and whether it's trash or treasure something's going to be uncovered do you know that in this and this storm that we're in right now this time of Kovac 19 when the whole world is basically shut down do you understand that storms trouble problems tend to uncover the real character the real issues that we deal with in our personal lives and so what is happening right now in this season as we deal with these troubles we have an opportunity to begin to deal with issues that are being uncovered at this particular time and I know that there are those of you out there that see this as in all bad situation but the truth is there's a lot of good that can come out of this as we put our relationships to the test and find out what we are really made out of I know you agree with that I do definitely yeah I'm in any marriage you want to have transparency and you want to have that level of openness but there's something that really happens when you add stress to an already stressed out relationship and and a lot of times that's where the arguments come the tension comes and then what rises to the top is our problem-solving strategies is what we learned as we were children and how we deal with future challenges is determined how by how we were brought up and so unless you really understand your mechanisms your defense mechanisms your crises management met mechanism they all started when you somewhere between zero and so unless you know you really know the person and transparency is a part of your marriage DNA then when you have troubling times and stressful times and they could come in any any different ways then that's when you see the real person coming out and sometimes you don't even need the stressful end or stressful contributing factors to make a person either lash out at you hurt you say hard hurtful words to you because there are some people that already do that but when you add the extra stress and now we're locked home together you know government CDC everybody is saying stay at home so what happens if you're sleeping with the enemy exactly and this is why this is a good opportunity to assess the strength the character of these things that cause us to consider our relationships but there's something else also you said something the other day we were in this discussion and you said we have to build our marriage to code I want you to just kind of tell us where you got that from and what that means because we were talking about yeah storms hurricanes and in Florida there's a certain code a building code that we that we use when it comes to securing our homes from storms and you can't build a wood frame house in Florida okay you cannot build a house like you build in say Georgia it won't work in Florida it has to be built too cold and so a storm is actually going to expose whether or not that building has been built too cold and there's been many many lawsuits as a result of that when the contractor takes shortcuts so you cannot afford to take a shortcut in your marriage because you know we all start our relationship with expectations there is no one that gets married expecting abuse expecting arguments expecting hardships we just don't were happy that for that day of marriage is blissful but babe marriage is not what you do in a church or a synagogue it's what you do in your heart exactly and building to code has to do with character it's it's if you if you don't build yourself first mm-hmm and work on constructing yourself you can try to build someone else exactly exactly in fact I would go as far to say that you don't have a Christian marriage just because two Christians get married what actually makes a Christian marriage and the code to build your marriage on is that when both parties both spouses live according to the principles of the word concerning marriage you know the Bible talks about mutual submission well and then the word submission is a problem for a lot of people period because they don't understand the value of how important that is to establish a strong marriage and it's not about the female cooking cleaning and getting slippers and the newspaper that that's not what it means because not every marriage is like that I think that a marriage is like a thumbprint or a foot print or a finger print every marriage has its own DNA that's right and it's like writing a symphony or it's like choreographing a dance and marriage for me is not like a putting pieces of a puzzle together right because the picture is already there you know where it's gonna end up you've got this beautiful picture and then a puzzle is caught deliberately and made to fit together as the piece what I think a marriage is like a mosaic you got all these random pieces my experience your experience your beliefs my belief when I background your background is all of that and these are ragged indiscriminate pieces but if the two of you can put the pieces together instead of it being like a puzzle fitly framed and put together it's like this beautiful mosaic that you put together yourself and when you put it together it can be as beautiful as you want or as ugly as you want but the pieces have to be put together they're not going to be pre-cut that's right nothing about a marriage is pre-cut and for me that's what makes it exciting and you talked we were talking about this yesterday you mentioned these three C's I thought they were so brilliant yeah yeah we're gonna we're gonna get to that because because we've got actually maybe more information that we can actually share in this session and that's why I want to keep you guys aware of the fact that we're coming back with this and you're gonna hear a whole lot more as time goes on and on honesty not a whole lot of ministries and even news media social media we're not seeing or hearing a whole lot about relationships so we're gonna share these things with you and that could possibly get those three C's before this is over that will be great yeah cuz I mean you know especially now those that are viewing and watching make sure that you take notation of it because this is something you could share with your family share with your friends I know that there there are a lot of us that have friends that are in marriages that are under stress so this will be a great takeaway that you could take away you could apply to your life you can even apply this to your friendships absolutely you know but any dysfunctional relationships and there's a lot of them a better out there yeah all you have to do is watch madea's movies and I know they're over exaggerated but there's a lot of truth in his movies you know especially with married couples exactly and so if you can give them the three C's they can have something to work with okay and we can just escalate them alright we're gonna we're gonna work on a work towards that we're gonna work the worst yet but you know here's what Jesus did he talked about in through seven 24:25 a house that was built upon a rock and when you mentioned that idea of you have to build your marriage to code that is exactly what Jesus will say that our marriages must be established on the principles of the word of God so you know you may marry somebody in the church you may marry somebody that called himself a Christian or a believer or whatever the case may be but once you once you get into that relationship the thing that must be worked on most of all is that two to two of us the two of you must agree on the fact that first of all the Word of God is going to be the foundation that you're going to establish your relationship on and in times like these that is the only thing that will work you know the Bible talks about a three-fold cord is not easily broken there is my wife myself and then of course there's the Lord Jesus Christ right in the middle of the relationship that's the threefold court right there and that's why you've got to have your relationship established on the Word of God I don't want to tear it too long there because I want to just close this first question out with the principle of construction and in fact in fact this principle here is one that you know we apply to our own marriage and and everybody has to apply this principle that in fact that's one of the seeds right the principle of construction here's my part when when we were married I made a conscious decision that I would not try to work on bettering my wife I would work on bettering me he got a good package a package deal I didn't come with a whole lot of baggage oh yeah yeah actually you came with no baggage whatsoever yeah you didn't come with any baggage and-and-and the only thing the only baggage I bought was a bag full of affection for you that's all right well we'll get to that in a little bit but here's here's what most people don't don't understand couples that is and that is we go into a relationship trying to work on the other person trying to make it improve them make them better make them fit how the the image that we have of a spouse and and here's what's important all the work that I do as far as construction is concerned I work on me I make sure that I don't make the adjustments in her life I make the adjustments in my life I adjust to fit whatever I am having to deal with as far as the personality is concerned her desires are concerned her her understanding is concerned I make the adjustments and likewise you know every that's what has to happen to every every man in the relationship we do construction on ourselves now when it comes to my wife is not about construction I cultivate her I can't construct her in fact the Bible tells me that God built the woman so she's already built established by God but my part is to cultivate her that word cultivate is important it means refine foster growth care for it means promote it means to complement that's my part in the relationship and so I'm not trying to make her adjust to what I need her to be I adjust to what she needs me to be to her and as a result of that I can now cultivate her and improve actually who she is as a spouse whatever I pour into her is what she can become to me I always say this but it's true you know I've heard a lot of young men call their spouses their wives my old lady mm-hmm that's the worst thing you can do absolutely G Nessa says you'll have what you say and that is not what we want to practice I don't I don't I don't refer to my wife in any way that I don't want her to to be you know I'm gonna compliment her and that's part of the cultivating process that's that's the third see right there see these seeds are coming in and you know it's hitting you but that's that compliment so we and the compliment to me is the greatest metaphor or analogy that I can use is the Sun and Moon because the Bible said God made two great lights so yes that both of them were great and then the Bible says the lesser light and the greater light so each one of them played their role because they were both great lights so one does not have to be bigger in order to be better and we don't have to beat one another into submission we all have purpose we all have something that God has called us to do yes so we don't have to come meet with one another that's right we complete one another and that's the third see yeah that's it and you can come you can complete and compliment one another if you don't know one another you know so we spend a lot of time and talking and we spit still spend a lot of time talking about trying to understand I think you know every time that we're apart mm-hmm even if you go to the kitchen and come back we change and and and you keep the excitement by trying to figure out who has this man or who has this woman become since the last time I was with them and then a lot of people bring blue leaves their beliefs into play in a relationship the man's role and the females role yeah and that's where a lot of comes you know I'm especially in today's world because you have two people that are working both you're working I'm working you have two people that are working back in the day the man was the breadwinner mm-hmm now we need two resources on the table naturally we need two incomes on the table absolutely you know that's just the way of the world yeah absolutely well you said something really important and it's this every day changes happen in individual lives I cannot assume that Cindy is going to be the same woman I left a day ago anyone want to come back things have happened she's had experiences I've had experiences and one of the one of the crucial mistakes that that I believe couples make is that they think they're dealing with the same person every day exactly and what life does life has a way of changing us shaping us reconstructing us and the list goes on and on and on so I never assumed that who I'd saw yesterday is the same person today and and and who you married exactly because because life has happened in between and so you can imagine every year we're changing nature is an indicator great indicator nature changes every three months and so you will never be married to the same person that you stood to the altar to be able to say I do life is happening you know around us absolutely and that's why that's that's why we can keep the relationship fresh because we never settle into who we were yesterday with every new day comes a new experience with every new day come to change yeah with every new day there comes a challenge with every with every new day there is a difference taking place so I have to deal with my spouse my wife she has to deal with me not based on on the day we got married we have to go from day to day every day there changes every day there are different challenges every day you know things will not be the same and if you are aware of that you can keep your marriage relationship fresh you can keep it vibrant you can keep it exciting you can keep it adventurous but when you just settle down and you're dealing with somebody from yesterday yesteryear a decade ago then it's very very difficult to have an ongoing fresh exciting adventurous marriage and so thank God that His mercies the make new every day his compassion never fails because we need new mercies for our relationships every day we wake up and so keep those things in mind because when you get stuck in the past and you're trying to deal with past issues based on today's problems it's gonna add extra stress and extra problems to your relationship and at this time that is not what you want to do and that is not what you need I've got something else we need to look at here and you know let's look at the second question because we'll get back we've got a lot to discuss in at first we then will get back to that probably the next session but the second question how do you manage your marriage doing financial hardships that's important folks that's another big storm that's that's a heavy heavy storm yes you want to know what your marriage is built on and I am told I am told through statistics that marriages primarily break up and go through divorce because of finances so you can't discount the financial issue but what we've got to do is look into the Word of God and we've got to find out how do we deal with hardships as far as our finances are concerned in the marriage well here's the first thing I would say make your marriage your primary faith focus not the money you know make your marriage make sure that you're doing the maintenance to your marriage they caused everybody that's married young you're gonna start out with some type of financial challenges and I would dare to say that those of us that are married for a long time from time to time there still may be some financial challenges the key is your marriage is primary you do the maintenance to that you work on that part now it's going to secure you to stand in faith to believe for the monies that you may need and when there is a strong marriage of faith you won't have a whole lot of issue when it comes to believing for finances because all of this is supernatural everything that we do the Bible says if it's not faith it's sin so whether it's our marriage or whether it's our money as couples we must learn to live by faith and this goes back you know to the whole idea of word do you see your marriage 5 years from now 10 years from now a lot of people do not work one a vision for their marriage you know and I'm huge I'm big on talking about vision I wrote a book about it hello tomorrow we are going to get through the code at 19 so post code at 19 what are you expecting what do you want to see how do you want to see your marriage that's number one number two your money you've got to work on a vision you've got to sit down sit around the table and it's a hard topic for a lot of people because it goes back to belief systems and you bring that to the table and it takes a lot of transparency and transparency begins with trust so I believe that you have to start with the whole trust fact or how much do you trust your spouse and talking about money is is its it takes a great amount of mental nakedness and psychological nakedness but you have to work through those issues those elements this is very very important for any individual going back to construction mm-hmm you know individual I have to work on my own construction and you work on your construction that's right but in the construction you have to work on personal vision and personal vision there's 12 different areas of personal vision and one area is marriage and the other area is money or finances so you not only have to work at that with yourself as an individual but you've got to work at it as marriage I did marriage counseling that's right for 15 straight years this is when I was single I did marriage counseling and one of the greatest contribute contribution or contributing factors to a lot of the arguments revolved around money and it was the lack of money so and even as a minister when I look at the whole idea of prayer people write prayer requests all the time and here are the four areas they write prayer requests in number one their health number two their spiritual life yeah number three their relationships and number four finances so people everywhere if you if you have a relationship you want it to be healthy if you if you are spiritual you want it to be healthy if you have a marriage you want it to be healthy that's right and if you have money you want it to be healthy if you don't have money you want prayer if you do have money you want to keep it if you do it not have enough money you want more of it so either way money is a you suit issue and a huge discussion and and I want to broad-stroke this and the broad-stroke it is finances and right now in kovat 19 people are taking reductions in salary are there some people that have lost their jobs and there were some people that have businesses and the businesses have gone belly-up so they nobody expected kovat 1919 means it started in 2019 and 2020 a lot of people have called this the year of vision perfect vision 20/20 vision so if it is a year of 20/20 vision then this is a great time to hang hanker down hunker down and to begin to deal with the hard things that you didn't have a chance to deal with in 2019 but now we're living together mmm we're home it used to be that we had a de-stressor and that is you know you're living with a person you might have argued with that person but the next day you got out you got away from that person you went to work and then you came home now you add the children so children went to school you went to work you had a time to decompress and a time to think about the challenges even driving to work and driving home but now we are home we have been sequestered we're quarantined so a person that we needed a break in our routine with that problem yeah yeah yeah a break from the routine now we don't have those breaks from routine no babe no so let's talk about that what do you do when the person that you needed a break from the routine or you you you were in the middle of a crises or a challenge of marital crises or marital challenge that involved abuse and now you're quarantined so the the whole idea of geo separation the whole idea of having that six point yeah it didn't apply for when you get home it doesn't apply anymore yeah social distancing yeah so now you're quarantined with the person that presented so much pain you know relationships are interesting because they're they can give us the greatest amount of joy mm-hmm but they can also give us the greatest amount of pain so for that person that has tuned in and you are quarantined and there's no social distancing in your home could you give them some strategies to deal with it yeah well let's let's look at we mentioned domestic violence yeah earlier it's at an all-time high right now one of the things that I think couples need to understand is why is it that a person is abusive mm-hmm and and and I want to get to go directly to the root of it you know we can talk about the the abusive language the physical abuse the mental abuse and all of that but here's the root of of a of an abusive person number one anytime you find somebody that is abusive in a relationship they are dealing with poor self-esteem and and poor self-esteem covers itself by being mean when you generally when you run into a mean person you're dealing with the person that has very poor self-esteem now the Bible says number one we ought to ought not to esteem ourselves more highly but the truth is it didn't say we should not esteem ourselves at all so you're dealing with somebody when they are abusive you're dealing with somebody with number one poor self-esteem the second thing when you are dealing with an abusive person you're dealing with somebody that is insecure in who they are they're insecure they they lack self-confidence so the first problem is poor self-esteem second problem of course is they lack self-confidence and third thing is they are fearful and in many cases fear is a result of a poor self-image so so take notice of this there is poor self-esteem then there is a lack of self-confidence and then there is a poor self-image these are things that no spouse can receive from another spouse by way of giving by esteeming you by making you secure not giving you the right image those are things that only God can do for a person only God can do that for an individual and so if you are in a situation where you are living in an abusive situation whether it's verbal abuse that's just as bad as mental and physical abuse to tell you the truth abuse period is just it's just bad understand who you were dealing with and then understand that no spouse is called to submit to abuse you know you're called to submit to love your call to that's your call to submit to love say it again you are called to submit to love not abuse you're not you're not you're not to submit to verbal abuse physical those are not areas that we are called to submit to in fact those are areas that you you certainly want to seek out help for and if you are being battered at the time you want to find a place of a safe haven instead of trying to deal with that battlefield in the relationship and don't suffer in silence you know a person that hates themselves but lacks personal integrity or authenticity right they're going to lash out and something that you said self esteem mm-hmm self you started with self you do that's the construction that's it you know and lashing out at a person and projecting feelings of insecurity because another person thinks highly of themselves doesn't mean that you have to belittle then put them down beat them into submission because you hate yourself and so if you are going through that you've got to say something you've got to reach out reach out to your preacher priests reach out to your pastor reach out to a professional professional help and if it escalates call the police but you've got to you cannot suffer in silence and when when you constantly are being put down that's not you submitting to love I don't think a person should know if there's physical abuse no way the psychological sexual abuse yeah you I don't think that you should stay and it's and it's compounded when then you've got children that are evolved how helpless children so locally absolutely because abuse can actually turn into a deadly situation it has happened so many times people spaced and then somebody ends up getting hurt or somebody ends up dying and they're they're they're organizations that you can reach out to but but the thing that is most important in a relationship is that when these things are happening you get to know where it's coming from and that's those are the three areas that we just talked about and for the newlyweds oh yeah this is what I'm gonna suggest stop it before it starts yeah while you're dating or in the marriage if there's an escalation that creates a not so good feeling in you address it immediately don't talk to me like that you will never do that again address it immediately a lot of people are timid some women are timid mm-hmm some women let the courage mhm but you have to pray take it to God in prayer and as you see it escalating it's going to take a lot of courage for you to to challenge it for you to confront it but if you if your power has been snatched away from you over year over years and if you've been in an abusive relationship for a long time that means these are things that you've learned you've tolerated you've taken on a victim's role so you you have the the one that is the vicious abuser and then you become the victim these are the roles that you have decided that you would play yeah and it's a part of living in a dysfunctional relationship I'm I'm saying to you very very strongly pray axe cop for the courage and that's God for the wisdom and then get help don't let someone beat you into submission or beat you into silence get help because you do have crimes of passion and if you live with a jealous spouse yeah it can really really it can actually I work with a colleague that ended up dying at the hands of someone that quote/unquote said that he loved her and he loved her so much that that the jealousy that was uncovered turned into a crime of passion and so what we want to do especially during this this time we're we're we're met with this storm Kovac 19 storms yeah is to secure your safety yeah well you know one the other issue is when you were saying that we talked about we talked about abuse but abuse could be on both ends you know generally we talk about men abusing women there are some women that actually abuse men but as a man there's something that I understand anytime you have a man that is angry constantly angry that man is generally afraid and I think it's important again for spouses to understand the dynamics of what's going on and what's taking place people are not paying for nothing people are not abusive for nothing people are not are not careless for nothing what they what they're going through is that there's something bout where they have not been esteemed they don't know how to esteem themselves they're insecure and they have all of these fears I mean people are so afraid nowadays and folks it's gonna be important that we learn to stay in faith as couples yeah we got to stay in faith our feelings are going to be there you can't you're human you're gonna have feelings you're gonna have emotions but when when faith is involved it is an act of obedience towards the Word of God and and your faith will sustain you in these hardships and in these times of storms I want to say something about the fear the fear issue in many cases it as a result as as I said a poor self-image Israel in the Bible in the scripture when they were getting ready to go into the promised and usually fear pops up when the promises near Israel getting ready to go into the Promised Land they search the Promised Land out and they discover their Giants in the land and the people that searched it out which were the leaders came back and said oh yeah it's a great land it's a great Promised Land but those giants made us feel as if we were grasshoppers we were grasshoppers first of all in our sight and then in their sight look out for that kind of fear that that reflects a poor self-image mm-hmm because that's where that's what the enemy we are made in the likeness and in the image of God and you can and in your faith pursuit you've got to keep that in mind that you're not you're not smaller because you're dealing with these big adversities these big circumstances the God that you are made in the image of has made you more than able to deal with whatever may come your way so we're going to talk more and more about these things in our next session on next Sunday we'll do it yeah yeah we'll do it again next Sunday because I'm saying to all of you these are these are VIP these are the perilous times that the Bible spoke of I never would have thought in my lifetime that we would see something like this that covers the whole world but thank God there is a solution thank God there is an answer and we didn't come on here today just to talk about the problem we came to talk about the solution so I shared this with the friend take time and I don't know how much time we got because we're gonna shut down in a few but take time to share this video I know no doubt that there's something that was said in this sharing time that your friends family co-workers maybe even your facebook family could could use and and share because if you look throughout social media and in the media period there's not a whole lot of information helping people to actually deal with this crises in their relationship but thank God for His Word that in times like these you discover that the Word of God is real and it's true and it is applicable for us today yeah and so look here's some things that I just want to remind you of remember you know you are responsible for your own self esteem know nobody does it I can't depend on you to do that work on yourself I gotta have to work on myself yes I'm responsible for myself my self esteem I'm responsible for my significant security yeah I'm responsible for making sure that I'm in faith and not in and I'm responsible for my own happiness my own peace my own joy bring it to the table there you go bring it to the table you go you bring yours I bring mine and then we'll compliment one another no doubt yeah that's how this works and I want to say it again it actually it actually works so make sure you understand what your responsibilities are as a spouse and then as you build yourself up you have the capacity now to share with your spouse those good things that you have established you have been edified and it enables you to properly love one another and ladies once again I want to tell you the only thing God called you to submit to his love if it's not love you are not called to submit to it mm-hmm read your Bible it's all in there yes I think okay you know what let me give you awesome some some closing just some closing announcements and again I want to thank you all for just taking time to be with us on this on this Facebook live this Sunday edition I'm enjoying this lockdown to tell you the truth you know I'm just we're working but at the same time we're getting a lot of rest and we're working together we're working together we're having an opportunity just to catch up on some some lost time yeah because you're busy I'm busy I do a lot of traveling you do a lot of traveling that's good to be home it's good to be home whether it's in Florida and it's just a great time to establish your relationships at this time it's an awesome time to do that and the other thing too we're talking about construction yeah you know and just to throw this out I know you're gonna wrap it up but if you're working on your marriage there are five parts to the marriage that you work on parsley is the actual marriage and this is where you you work in your belief your understanding your expectations yeah the second thing is you have the two people that are in a marriage as a man and as a female and that's where you construct you as a woman and you as a man and then the other the last two aspects making it five is you as a wife and you as a husband so if you're saying that you're gonna work on your marriage the earth these are the five different elements that you work on you work on the marriage the expectations what you believe a marriage should look like should be secondly u.s. a male and you as a female and then thirdly you as the wife and you as the husband and when you work on those five elements then you can really strengthen your marriage and if you want to look for a scripture that the two of you can meditate on and acts yourself questions about the characteristics of a loving couple you can look at first Corinthians 13 and read it from all of the translations this will be my suggestion and something that you can do once we get off of this morning service or this morning recording you want to go with your spouse read it to one another read it in the passion Bible the message Bible read it in King James Bible with your traditional New International Version but read it so that you can ask yourself personally am i kind am i this and and and and you could start the construction right there yeah are you kind do you have do you have high self esteem do you have security do you have faith instead of fear those things yeah that was powerful by the way yeah cuz you included that word in first Corinthians 13 yeah yeah that's awesome hey look we're gonna this is a series so we're going to be coming back at you I'm gonna do pop-ups from time to time and you know go to my facebook page or Instagram or Twitter and you'll just see some things that'll keep you aware what I'm doing what we're going to dealing with babe how can they find you how can they find me Facebook Russell Tomlinson then that's it you know it's not pastors not Reverend just type in Russell Tomlinson and you will find me across the board on all of my social media and mine is Cindy trim and Facebook is dr. Cindy trim everything else is Cindy trim how do you know it's me the numbers are going to be high if you get someone yeah it has 43 102 500 that is not me do not respond my numbers are really really high and that's how you know it's me oh yeah and by the way the book hello tomorrow oh yes you have listed all of what it takes 12 things to write a vision yeah check that out download it hello tomorrow pick it up whenever the bookstores open again but you want to get that because we're living in this year that we call 20/20 vision I believe this is time for the manifestation of what God has promised you'll see it in your physical eyesight you'll see it come to pass everything that God has promised and so thank you all for being with us there says a couple things that we want to run by you first of all first of all we're gonna take time to pray for every marriage so stay tuned we're gonna close this Facebook live out with prayer we're going to pray and it's good it's just going to just touch I believe touch the world so we're gonna pray and and let me say this to our our members at presence gathered in church we are amazed at your level of giving we are amazed you haven't been prompted we're not asking and begging you all are just giving out of whether it's your need out of out of your out of your deep desire just to please God we just want to say personally thank you thank you thank you thank you for your generosity in this especially in this time you know it proves that we have raised up people of faith yes and you don't have to beg or prompt or pressure them but folk are just giving and and we're impressed that's all I can say yeah and the tithe and the offering and the seed that is so important especially during rough times getting your seed in the ground being faithful with your time yeah faithful with your offering yes it's going to help you navigate this storm yes and the laws will work the laws will work yeah and so I want to encourage you for those of you that are continuing to give thank you again and go to our church website and you'll see all of the avenues that you need to have to give and it's all their presence gathering church calm you you just go ahead and Google presents gathering church and you'll see a place there where you can continue to sow your seed but all we can say right now is just thank you thank you thank you thank you I'm really I'm really sort of overwhelmed you know your generosity overwhelms me and people give to what they believe in apparently yeah so that's that's a good indication and you all you all really really do believe and by the way I want you to join me this Wednesday at 7:30 for our Wednesday edition of our Facebook live we're going to keep hitting this relationship thing you're gonna keep hitting it they call us you can lose your money you can lose a house you can lose a car you can lose a lot of physical financial things but one thing that you will want to always keep in tact and you can always rebuild as long as you have the proper relationships to a better than one two are better than one I can see all that right now all right let's do this let's pray I'm gonna just show you you are you are actually a worldwide prayer general your books on prayer have sold phenomenal your top selling author and and I believe in your prayers that's one of the reasons I really really appreciate our marriage because of the the prayer connection yeah so I'm going to ask you y'all go ahead and again to just release your faith for these be me yes yes listening yes um we want you to believe not only for your own marriage but those people that are dear to you close to you that that you love so holding you in your mind in your heart the names of individuals most of you are either tuning in through your laptop or you're using an iPad some smart device your smartphone so if you can just come in agreement to if two of you touch and agree so holding your phone touching your iPad touching your laptop yes is a point of agreement let's pray our Father God we thank you for the time that you have given us to share we pray for marriages today that you would bless the marriages father that they would remember the vows that they took to love and to cherish in sickness and for health for better and for worse these were the covenants that they made with one another and father these are the best of times and the worst of times and it is hid and it has leveled the playing field for everyone because this this this kovat 19 has no discrimination it's hitting so many people there are the wives that are listening now that that lost their husband and and husbands that lost our wives and there were grandparents that always thought that they would be together and they're suffering the deepest sentence of mourning there were those that have loved ones that are in hospital and fathered there are those that are struggling even now financially to put food on the table they have children and it's not just a consideration of their is their love for their children and they want to do more for their children and father we are sequestered and we are quarantined and so we would normally visit our parents we are not able to visit them and then there were people that are hurting and they're suffering the deepest amount of pain in moments of grief where they want to say the final goodbye but they haven't been able to bring closure because of the distance the social distancing and the geo separation and so father you said that you would touch by the feelings of our infirmities yes and so we know that you right now have a love for each one of us and I pray that you would be in the center of our relationship especially the marriages today father we pray over those that are suffering the deepest sense of pain because of grieving you said blessed are they that mourn for they shall be comforted this morning I pray that you would comfort those that are mourning I pray father for the ones that are suffering in silence whether it's because of lacks whether it's because of abuse I pray father that you would hide them in a secret place that you would change the heart of the abuser that you would visit that individual that you would speak to them at night we know that you can do it you've done it in the Bible where you said to lay man do not touch Jacob you said to the king do not touch Abraham and we know that you can do it so we pray for divine intervention yes on every level emotional ly physically we pray for those that are recovering we pray for divine intervention not just medical intervention divine intervention that you would raise them out of their brand bruit bad breathe into their lungs breathe into their lungs let them catch their breath and those father that have inhaled and they're waiting to exhale I pray father that they would catch their breath you are our breath and as we breathe in and breathe out those of us that are not struggling with the effect of kovat 19 that the virus I decreed that we would live grateful lives that we would be granted a grateful for having breath and father we realized that every second there were two people that are dying somewhere in the world and so father for every second that were able to breathe every second that you have given us life father when we look at our clock I decree and declare we will begin to praise you we will have a heart of Thanksgiving yet we may not have everything that we want we may not have everything that we need but as long as we've got breath we have hope I pray for the first responders I pray for the doctors the lawyers many of us that are listening have family members that are doctors that are first responders that a police workers were we're married to them they are our fathers they are our mothers and while we are home father we are joining our faith with those that watch their their parents leave and are praying that their parents will come back I pray father that you would cleanse the house that peace will return to the house and joy will return mm faith will return to the house favor those that feel like they are favor less bring peace into the hearts of those that are day workers of those that work with wages days salaries are those that require going out I pray father that even as they are in quarantine and they are not able to go out and wear even those that work from home and they're self-employed and they have home businesses and small businesses sustained them I pray for those that are nervous and afraid that they will lose their job I decree and declare father that while they're home they will build skills for post coronavirus that they would use their time more than just for entertainment that they would be educated yes they would expend their skills I pray for the parents that are struggling with homeschooling their children and they don't understand even the technology I pray father for divine intervention I pray that they will not be frustrated I pray that peace and joy and singing and laughter will return to our streets I pray over government that they would you would give them wisdom give us wisdom and those that are working in labs and the scientists that are working father I pray that they would have breakthrough vaccine I pray that this is a season father that you would draw us closer that we would trust one another father this is a communicable disease this is not a government war this is a people's war and we will overcome this as we fight together we lead the blood of the Lamb over the virus we believe the blood of the Lamb over our lives over our marriage over our children and when we come out of this we'll come out with a testimony father bless us as we breathe life into the heart breathe life bring hope breathe hope father let favor reign let us do neighborly things whatever we lack whether it's toilet paper or water or food whatever is lacking meet the needs supernaturally in Jesus name we pray amen amen and amen listen thank you sweetheart powerful and you've heard it for yourself today I'm telling you there are other people that need to hear this so take time to share it there are those of you that are listening you heard a word and you want to soar seed into it well you already know to go to presence gathering church calm and you'll see everything there we don't want to restrict anyone that has a spirit of generosity on them right now and that's trusting God for Supernatural supply and so we're looking forward to getting back with you again next Sunday about this same time and we're going to make sure that we go a little bit gonna delve deeper into these subjects because there's so much we did not get to deal with we've got a lot to unpack a lot to uncover and we're just going to look at some things that I believe will continue to strengthen and enhance and secure your marriage relationship so listen god bless you and don't forget join me this Wednesday 7:30 I've got a whole lot more to say but we don't have all the time right now to say it so we love you guys we appreciate you thank you so much for joining us for this Sunday edition of Facebook live and we'll look forward to seeing you again yeah bless stay safe stay healthy stay happy stay blessed our prayers are with you all bye-bye now

Channel: Global Radiance, LLC

Views: 520

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Length: 66min 22sec (3982 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 22 2020