Dealing with Differences - Mufti Menk - 2020

bismillah al-rahman al-rahim alhamdulillah wa salatu wa salam o allah rasool allah he wa ala aalihi wa sahbihi ajma'in we always praise Allah Subhanahu WA Ta'ala we send blessings and salutations upon muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam his household his companions we ask Allah Subhanahu WA Ta'ala to bless them to bless every one of us to grant us every form of goodness and doors and the doors of this microphone I mean it was right I don't know why we adjusted it Habibi it was beautiful beautiful just like this venue mashallah my brother's my sister's right at the beginning the first of our species was Adam alayhi salatu wassalam Allah Subhanahu WA Ta'ala created him in a specific way and Allah Subhanahu WA Ta'ala thereafter created Eve or how wa alayhi salatu wassalam we say Adam and Eve in the English language we say Adam and hawa in the Arabic language I lay him as Salam may peace be upon them my mother my father your mother your father meaning the first of our kind if we look at what Allah blessed them with after sometime Allah gave them children so whenever we talk about children we need to pray for those who don't have children may Allah bless you with children say I mean and then we must pray for those who do have children that Allah make those children the coolness of their eyes so we say may Allah make your children the coolness of your eyes say I mean again and we need to say to those who are not yet married that if you said I mean to the dua that said may Allah bless you with children then you have actually included in your dua that may Allah bless you with a spouse so you must always say I mean loudly it's okay it's an all-inclusive dua you know I once gave the example of can I tell you what can I tell you a shampoo of your hair subhanAllah you have the two-in-one right you know you have the conditioner and the shampoo then you have the two-in-one well la he I promise you I saw a three in one have you guys seen it have you seen it mashallah may Allah Subhanahu WA Ta'ala bless all of us I mean so when Allah blessed him with children obviously they were very close to Allah Subhanahu WA Ta'ala and Adam and hawa alayhim as-salam they had interaction with allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala his though he is the one who told them what to do what not to do there was only one thing that was prohibited at that time and they fell there was only one thing that they were told don't do this it was a sin there was no other synthetic and guess what they fell they fell not out of defiance of their maker but out of their human weakness and the trap of the devil who kept telling them go for it it's a good thing don't worry it's a good thing you know what the quran says the quran says the devil promised them two things one is you know you'll have a good long healthy life who doesn't want a good long healthy life we all do may Allah bless us with a good long healthy life please say I mean mashallah everyone wants it right okay okay I get it well you better eat healthy if you want a healthy life mashallah you better you better exercise thoroughly mashallah whether it's at the gym or elsewhere but you better make sure that you're fit may allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala truly grant us goodness but we want long and healthy lives that are filled with the obedience of the Almighty the second thing that the devil says to Adam is you know what you will have so much you will own so much it will never deplete imagine if I were to tell you that you're gonna have so much of money that no matter how much you withdraw from your accounts it will never ever deplete you would be excited to say how do I get it they told us so high back Bitcoin and we bit our fingers didn't we you know why they call it Bitcoin it bit all of us Subhan Allah I was bitten too by the way that doesn't make it Haram that's another ruling all on its own but we were bitten mashallah those into crypto it's the future Allah bless you I hope you got that little message okay my brothers and sisters the devil says he'll do no Carla Sheraton who'll do a monkey liable beautifully worded by Allah but there was a poisonous statement within what the devil says he says should I show you that fruit that tree if you were to eat from it you wouldn't die you wouldn't die death won't come to you and you know what you will have ownership that will never deplete you will have enough so much and so he says look Allah told you not to eat from this simply because he didn't want you to live forever and he didn't want you to have ownership of a lot somehow Adam alehissalaam says let's taste it so you know what they tasted it man is so weak that we get involved in a futile discussion based on a question who ate first have you heard that question who ate first so I want to ask you who did eat first please tell me who ate first anyone know put up your hand just say or say it loudly without putting up your hands who ate first please say it loud who ate first I hear some say how some say Adam some say both mashallah both of them ate together don't ever blame a woman because I've heard one old uncle one day tell his wife it wasn't for you we'd have all been in paradise Subhan Allah how did you hear that if it wasn't for you we'd have all been in paradise no no please don't blame each other you can make life a living hell for those whom you live with if you don't know how to live and you can make life a paradise to a certain extent if you know how to communicate how to address people if you know what you're here for if you know your purpose in life so anyway both of them ate together and they were ashamed of their deed I want to pause for a moment my brothers and my sisters whenever we falter no matter what we do the sins we commit major or minor turn back to Allah and never ever lose hope in the mercy of Allah I spoke at a motivational evening yesterday I think it was and you know what I promise you my brother's my sister's one of the major points of trapping of the devil is that he makes us feel that we're not good enough to be forgiven so after you seek the forgiveness of Allah he makes you engage in a sin bigger than that major sin that you had engaged in in a way that you tend to distance yourself from Allah you tend to insult Allah he says I am the most forgiving most merciful most compassionate most kind and we say no you're not going to forgive me what did you do you're insulting Allah Allah Subhanahu WA Ta'ala clearly said in allah al feareth oh no by Jamie Allah will always forgive every single sin that you've ever committed even if it was a repeat he will still forgive it every time you fall get up and walk again the losers are those whom when they fall they don't get up and the losers are those whom when they fall they've gotten up and they're walking and someone keeps telling them you're not walking you're actually a fallen person I'm not I've gotten up and I'm walking Subhan Allah I'm trying again so if you fall again get up again if you fall a third time get up a third time and a fourth and a tenth a turn to Allah and don't lose hope in his mercy we don't sin out of defiance of our maker we sinan out of the weakness of human nature may allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala protect us from sin that having been said we have to do something to protect ourselves because you know what you pay a price sometimes for a sin you commit I remember a brother telling me you know what I committed sin for so many years and Allah covered me and I kept doing it and kept doing it until my wife found out what happened she's not as forgiving and as merciful as Allah you know when a man commits a sin the wives normally are meant to say it's okay I give you a chance but if the woman were to perpetrate the same or even a lesser crime for some silly reason a man will not in most cases even tolerate it am i right the women are so scared to say yes Subhan Allah that's why we kept the men in the front the women at the back you can't see but unfortunately we have round tables for them to keep an eye right that's what you think but its effect if a man has committed sin and people expect the wife to say you know what I give you a chance it's okay or live with it makes up or bare patience what about the guy when she commits a little crime she just sent a little heart you know those emojis that mean absolutely nothing on whatsapp if someone sends you kisses on whatsapp and hearts on whatsapp and they send you every emoji there is it means zero it doesn't mean they love you not at all it just means they sent you an emoji that's exactly what it means and I'm not saying it's justified to send it but I am telling you today if you were to look at my phone and see how many times I used the the small little yellow face with two hearts where the eyes are today possibly more than a hundred times - whoo - Oh Lama - a lot of - a lot of guys that I'm communicating with and I'm talking of top people as well as to my own family subhanAllah but it just means you know what I care for you and it doesn't mean think dirty that's what it means or it's just a sign of closeness nothing more acknowledgement my brothers and sisters I tell you something Schaben makes us think that we're not forgiven that's a disease don't ever allow that I want to take you now back because I told you I'm pausing for a moment take you back to Adam and Eve they had children masha'Allah and guess what happened do you know they gave their children a very good upbringing very good upbringing as best as they could but the children became jealous of one another be careful of jealousy do you know what happens it will eat you up and destroy you don't be jealous when Allah is given one and not another be they brothers or friends or anyone else just technology say alhamdulillah and move on make it two out for them and then two out for yourself as well oh Allah you've blessed them mashallah tabarak Allah o Allah bless me too that's how it should be whether it's your brother or your uncle or whoever else or a friend or someone you don't even know pray for them don't be jealous when we get jealous if hatred gets in the heart it starts building just like the devil the devil was jealous because Allah said I raised Adam above you so he became jealous and you know what he did he decided no I'm going to destroy this fellow to this day he continues to try because of one jealousy Allah raised someone above the other and this other did not acknowledge it didn't acknowledge it you just have to say o Allah you gave Allah says I am Razak I give the wealth I am the one who distributes no person whom I shatter whom fill hired in dunya what often talked about Allah says we are the ones who distributed whatever we have in terms of sustenance of this world we are the ones who decided who's going to be above others who's going to get more and who's going to get less all this was from Allah don't be jealous when Shaitaan was jealous do you know what he did he tried his best to destroy he succeeded to a certain extent but he will not ultimately succeed because we have something known as Toba Shaitaan could have operated with you for 30 years 40 years one warm tear of repentance will wipe out 40 years of shaytans service you follow how merciful Allah is very merciful don't lose hope so Shaitaan comes to Cain who is Cain one of the sons of Adam in the English language the name is Cain in the Arabic languages qabil right and told him you know your brother every time he makes a donation now at that time there were no poor people to donate to so there was a different system of giving a donation nowadays you have poor people so you have to reach out to them you have aid organizations such as this one here that does a lot of good work across the globe on our behalf right we help we support we give we trust them and they execute it on our behalf they are poor people we give a charity - right at that time there were no poor people they were the beginning of man so Allah says right when you want to give something you have to leave it at a certain place and you know what the fire will come and consume it if it is acceptable by Allah did you ever know that the fire would come and consume it so when they gave their charities the fire consumed one and didn't consume the other so this one Cain whose charities were not accepted goes to Abel Abel is the brother called habil in the Arabic language right so habil and qabil in the arabic language or Abel and Cain in the English language and so he says do you know what why did yours go and mine didn't go I'm gonna kill you what are you jealous about jealous about so many things subhanAllah there is another narration speaking about how when they married at the time you know they had a unique way of marrying it is reported that Eve may peace be upon her gay birth 20 times each time there was a boy in the girl so she had 40 children 20 boys and 20 girls mashallah that was a super mother right super mom but subhanAllah if you were born in the same womb you couldn't marry each other but you could marry someone who was born in a different womb so there is a narration that makes mention of how interested Cain was to marry Abel's sister and for some reason they didn't want it to happen imagine these problems we have here in Bradford existed right there at that time right from the beginning I'm saying Bradford because to be very honest I receive a lot of emails of people complaining they want to marry someone but they can't because do you know what there's a river back in Pakistan or in India between them their village and the village of the guy who they want to marry gosh gosh I thought we were over that you know subhanAllah I thought in Sharla we would be by the will of allah subhanahu wata'ala but getting back to the story the one decided he's going to kill the other now that's my topic this evening what is it listen my brothers and sisters we have not learnt a lesson from what happened at that time it's not only mentioned in the Old Testament that the Christians read but it's mentioned in the Quran in quite a bit of detail that we read we follow subhanAllah what happened do you know from the very beginning people are different they've been created differently Adam was not like even Eve was not like here her own children they had differences of opinion differences of idea different capacities different everything was quite different Allah created all of us so unique do you know that that's the power of Allah every one of us has an identity today you're looking at my face and you know it's me right do you know what happened a few days ago I was in Johannesburg and I was wearing a Nigerian dress you know disguise went with my wife to go buy something and out there there was a man's hot dogs right and it was Muhammad's Caravan or something right so halal and everything was there and subhanAllah the brother I looked at him and my wife says why don't we get some hot dogs I said yeah that's fine we can mashallah and so I told him can I have a few of these and he looked at me and he heard my voice and he says hey you know you look like someone I know I said oh is it and I'm wishing he didn't because you know it's very difficult you know when I was entering here they went to them put me into one of the rooms on the side I said no let me enter let me sit I was gonna walk down the aisle but I didn't have a bride with me so I said that's fine so I thought I just come around the corner so that I don't confuse people they think it's my wedding right so when wallahi this majestic venue is really majestic do you agree mashallah mashallah my brother thank you so much as a Callaghan he's there in the corner hamdulillah he doesn't even know what we said so my brothers and sisters of the guy tells me you look like someone I said oh is it and I'm wishing he didn't and then he says where do you come from I said I come from Zimbabwe he says oh yeah you look like Mufti mink I said yeah I know I do man I know I do he says so a little while later he tells me is it you and I try to you know sort of divert his attention to tell him you know the hotdogs and we'll have a bit of tomato sauce and we'll do this and do that I think here they call it ketchup right and the reason why I was doing this is because you know as much as you love to meet people but sometimes you would your family or sometimes you know there's a time to meet people give them a little bit of privacy it becomes very burdensome when you don't so I told him yeah you know what that guy wears braces and I don't and I did this he looked at my teeth he said and I just removed the braces that same morning he looked at he said yeah you look just like him that's it I do I know and a little while later he phones his wife he says I think there is someone no he tells me I'm going to call and I'm going to call this person I said please don't spoil my day he recognized now who it was don't spoil my day you can tell them you can let them know but don't call them you know I'm here for something else may Allah make it easy may Allah grant us all happiness contentment really we are very very different I was saying the brother recognized me because Allah made our faces different he made our appearance is different everyone here is unique you can be recognized right even with your makeup mashallah you will be recognized they're going to know who you are they will know who you are yes that's the brother that's the sister right not only us every human being on earth has a unique thumbprint unique iris unique I don't even know what it's called I call it a hair print but there's nothing like a print in English do you know what it means if you were to shave your head and you were to take an image of how your hair grew there are no two human beings who have exactly the same design and pattern on their head did you know that and so not only us who are on earth now from the time of Adam Wright to the last person they'll never be too exactly identical human beings no they won't I come from Africa where we have elephants and giraffes and zebras and cheetahs and lions and leopards those with stripes those with spots not a single one is identical to another from the beginning all the way to the end ha Farook allahi for our oniy man follicle enemy Dooney Allah says that is the creation of Allah so show me what those besides Allah have made show me what they've made subhanAllah they cannot compete with Allah may Allah Subhanahu WA Ta'ala grant Aziz my brothers my sisters none of us are the same even in our thinking we won't think the same so why did Allah make us different why do I think differently you know I will like a certain type of food you might not like that food I will love for example a certain color you might not like that color you might be married to a person who doesn't like everything you like in fact it will be it has to be it must be subhanAllah why have you thought of him it's part of the plan of Allah he wants us to master the art of living with difference of opinion with differences in our likes and dislike Subhan Allah that's Allah he wants us the best human being is the one who knows how to live with these differences we will think differently we will be different we will behave slightly differently even if you are born of one mother and one father look at the evidence from the time of Abel and Cain from the time of Adam and Eve may Allah bless them small issues today and what do we do it starts off in the heart we become abusive we start belittling we start making people feel inferior we say words that are hurtful we say words that are harmful we say abusive vulgar words do you really think that you're going to go far by saying these bad things you have actually lost the plot even if you are making six Salah a day you're going no way what do I mean by six Allah some people get up for Tahajjud only to donate that Tahajjud to somebody they swore during the day some people do for Laura Assad maghrib-isha and we should be but don't donate that to someone else because you abused them because you belittled them learn to be the best human being you can take a look at the globe we are suffering simply because we want to impose our own thinking on the rest of the world that's why we are struggling you don't do that and that does not mean you water down your own opinion when I'm a Muslim I will remain Muslim I will believe what's right and wrong based on my convictions but how will I treat someone who disagrees with me there is something we don't know and we are lacking and to me that's one of the biggest reasons why we're at war today not only with the globe but even amongst ourselves in the Muslim Ummah we cannot agree about anything we don't have leadership in this Ummah we don't even have leadership in our communities at times may Allah Subhanahu WA Ta'ala forgive us so I am here this evening to take you back to that first story to tell you it started way back Allah mentioned it in the Quran and Allah speaks about how important it is to be able to respect each other to avoid the killing because it started off with a little jealousy maybe perhaps because of the marriage issue that is a narration but what is valid is the issue of the charity it was accepted from one and not accepted from the other if Karabakh Orban fatica billah min a Hadi him what a beautiful been meanin Arthur : a Petula Mack Allah says it in the Quran clearly that you know when one of them gave a charity and it was accepted the other one was not accepted this guy tells the other guy I'm gonna kill you la ilaha illallah may Allah forgive us may Allah grant us a lesson my brothers and sisters you should be yourself unique you don't compromise your faith and your convictions what you believe is right you don't compromise that that doesn't mean you have to belittle someone else who has thought differently who's used the brain Allah gave them to arrive at a conclusion that you consider wrong I'm not saying you don't have to believe they were wrong at times you know if someone says one plus one is five you know they wrong but does that mean you swear them does it mean you belittle them does it mean you abuse them does it mean you beat them up we used to be beaten up when we were kids when we said something wrong you know with all due respect to the scholars who are here this evening I want to say something very interesting there was a time back in the day when a lot of us were quite young if you're my age fifties or 40s subhanAllah I haven't yet clocked the 50 but soon inshallah when we were much younger we had something known as corporal punishment and you know what they did it when they taught us the most sacred book in existence what is that what's that book the Quran and then they say it's the Sunnah of the Prophet and I remember them lying to us telling us the funny the punishment of Jahannam will never touch the place of your body that the scholars whip has lashed on have you heard that one it's a tale man it's a lie they used it to abuse us and to blackmail us into believing okay give me one here okay now this side here my bums are not gonna be in Jahannam may may Allah forgive us that's what they did to us we believed it when we were kids we narrated it some people narrated it to the next generation to say don't worry did you start wack you say he whacked me say don't worry that portion will never touch John them wait you get that from the Prophet Muhammad who was sent as a mercy to mankind salallahu alayhi wasalam sent as a mercy to entire humanity and more and beyond as a mercy how many have graduated in Iran and in health and in knowledge from his hands and how many did he beat up you follow not even one subhanAllah because we are weak and we lack methodology of teaching we take it out on the ones whom we are teaching and we turn them away from religion completely they don't even want to go why you're gonna go in there they look at your hand I'll fix you I'll show you gosh I'm not gonna go back there man go on out of those days we stopped one thing to even go to anything to do with religion simply because we were doomed that's not what it is you have to take into consideration the entire environment you have to know what's going on you have to address people with respect from the very beginning we were taught that as humankind and thereafter as the Ummah of the one who was sent as a mercy to the rest subhana allah sallallahu alayhi wa salam my brothers and sisters when we differ we will differ on all levels starting with your own spouse whom you love your own spouse whom you love so much mashallah I hope hamdulillah what will happen you will disagree on things on matters how do you disagree you disagree you acknowledge a disagreement you may want to discuss it depending on what it is you may want to talk about it in a civilized fashion don't ever raise your voice do you know we lack Muslims in this country who are qualified to give to give what we lack Muslims in this country whose homes are qualified to take in those children requiring foster care did you hear what I just said I swear by Allah if you went out to register your home to qualify to take children into foster care in this country you would be disqualified besides a handful you would have to work on so many things in the home they would make you real Muslims before you can do that yet Islam gave it to us from the beginning do you shout scream yell abusive this that in your house you don't qualify not at all it's not a home it's not a house or a home it's just a dwelling by the will of Allah Allah Allah Allah you follow what I'm saying ask yourselves when you go home how how embarrassed am I that even those who don't even follow at the face of this faith of so much goodness they will tell you your house is not even qualified to take in a child that requires foster care and so don't take it from me go and apply and I promise you when you qualify you will have a much better home subhanAllah you're gonna have a beautiful environment in that house you will know how to speak how to address people how to tackle difference of opinion and so on so much more but my brothers and sisters we're too lazy we're too lazy we don't mind the Muslim children going into non-muslim foster cares and foster homes but we will never do that you know why we're in a comfort zone and we're going to pay the price we don't even know how to talk to our own spouses we have such a big disease as Muslims I promise you that when the divorce happens it's like the end of the world go to the non-muslims and learn from them divorce happens they've disagreed we didn't get along but they will fulfill the rights of the children it won't be abusive anymore they will remain respectful in that relationship but what do Muslims do especially the ones who are rigid in Islam they forget about Islam they penalize and punish the other simply because we went through a divorce are you talking about what are you talking about can you be civilized please can you be a Muslim do you know that if you didn't get along through that divorce the divorce will open doors of acts of worship that you hadn't dreamt of that will be even more difficult than when you were married are you ready to do that if not remain married well I grant us ease you have to have a big heart you have to understand the children belong to both no matter how criminal the other one is unless obviously sorry I want to withdraw that statement not no matter how criminal they were if they were abusive and if they had engaged in types of abuse with the children or if their definitely do not have the qualities at all then there is an exception if a father has abused his own daughter he is no longer qualified to be the Welli or the guardian of that child . I hope I clarified myself here because there are so many children who come up and tell us I was abused by my uncle a lot come up I was abused by my father I was abused by my elder brother or someone or whatever trust me we need to create an environment of respect of love of dignity may Allah forgive us so when we differ what do we do we start yelling we get up we yell we shout we want to prove something we make mistakes it could have been your wife who knocked somebody else's Porsche what would have happened it happens we make mistakes it's called an accident because it is by accident that's what it is it's not like boom okay I did it dodgem Carl let's reverse doom and now I hit the other one let's go this way doom I don't think it has happened no nobody does it intentionally so don't get upset when you know you're disciplined is when people make a blunder when the glass breaks when something happens that you don't like you don't get angry then you know you're now a true Muslim young man came to the prophet peace be upon him he says o messenger imagine he got a chance with the messenger if you were to get a chance with muhammad sallallaahu salam what would you ask him i mean it's people say that to whoever they want to meet that what would i say i have one minute to say something what can i say he says o messenger give me a now you know sometimes you're busy walking on the street it's happened to me when I'm walking in the mall sometimes and someone greets you and they see you know what advice can you give me I'm about to get married I say I'm about to buy something from this shock you know subhanAllah it's the wrong place if the guy says you know sure I have a quick question does it look like this Jesco is a Q&A you know we want to buy something relax just greet and goodbye that's it greet hello how are you but you know polite greetings and that's it humble I'm happy to see you and I'm glad to see you perhaps maybe nowadays based on the generation we're living in ourself it wouldn't be a bad idea okay although I don't encourage it but it's okay fine however however this man says to the messenger peace be upon him give me some advice the messenger peace be upon him told him don't get angry why maybe he noticed something about this guy right maybe the guy whatever must have been only Allah knows because the Prophet SAW Selim gave different advice to different people and it was unique to this man you know so he says don't get angry now imagine if someone were to meet a very you know person they look up to and ask them give me advice and they told you be patient you would like oh anything else you know like you were expecting more right anything else you have to say imagine coming to a motivational evening and just hearing two paragraphs and then we got to go you would think like I said it I think we were ripped off subhanAllah right but I promise you my brothers and sisters the Prophet peace be upon him was asked again okay give me more advice he said don't get angry give me more advice he said don't get angry give me more advice don't get angry do you know why perhaps that man might have had a problem with his temper but I want to tell you we all need that advice because we get angry when things don't happen your way and you can calm down you're a true follower of that messenger peace be upon him you deserve his intercession on the day of judgment may Allah grant it to us my brothers and sisters we get angry very fast when something in the home doesn't happen whether it's the child or a spouse or a parent or a sip we get so upset we and how we start venting bad words we utter vulgar words and the hadith says a true believer never uses an abusive word I'm not going to ask you to put your hand up if you've never sworn a swear word in your life because I think my hands would be down too and it would be such a big embarrassment but that was back in the day maybe may Allah forgive all of us starting with me but we must improve we've said bad words hurtful words dirty words abusive words and you still claim to be a Muslim and that's why we are suffering subhanAllah you will go to your Masjid the Masjid is a place where you're supposed to go for prayer and for worshiping Allah for something good when you get in it's going to be too hot or too cold when it's too hot or too cold Shaitaan comes and says but you're a wealthy man I'm sure you can raise your voice here and you say open a window and then there's an old uncle who has slightly less money than you saying I'll feel cold I say it's ok open oven and then you look at the guy who's working they sell you you'll be fired if you don't open that window you want Jenna subhanAllah tolerate the heat of the dunya Allah will save you from the heat of the fire of Jahannam how's that subhanAllah ask the men down here every Ramadan Shaitaan is tied so don't blame Shaitaan we become little shayateen ourselves right it's you it's not the devil people say but Shaitaan is tied how come we're doing this because you it's you it's not the devil anymore you've become a little devil it's not viola right every Ramadan what happens people are fighting in the Masjid about what I promise you it's about a fan it's about a window it's about the light it's about the pace of the taraweeh it's about all those things every year I promise you it's happening right or wrong guys did you hear them say right no wonder they don't allow the women in stuff fear Allah may Allah forgive you now Allah forgive you the women would have sorted your matter out a long time ago my brothers and sisters it's absolutely important for us to note that to be considered the correct Muslim you must be disciplined you have to be disciplined if you're not disciplined you are going no way and this type of advice you know when you hear someone across the globe sitting and telling you how you must calm down and so on people say wow lovely advice but when we're listening to it from the Quran and the Sunnah we don't take it seriously it is gold and advice it is called an advice we don't know how to differ let me give you another example and I'm going to take the liberty of entering into this example because it's a reality we are facing crises across the globe you know what we belong to different sects as Muslims how do we treat each other again abuse we hurl dirtiest words my brother you have every right to believe what you're convinced by it doesn't make the other person an evil person simply because he's convinced otherwise you can discuss it you should discuss it you can raise it in a very respectful way in a very very polite way it's probably going to be more effective and more convincing when you raise it with love with compassion with dignity with goodness rather than to start swearing spewing don't look at them don't greet them I was saying moments ago with us our problem is in our own homes we have a problem with our brothers I'm sure it might be in this community I don't know of any particular case but I have five fingers so if I were to tell you you've got five fingers it's not like I know the unseen it's just something so normal and natural it happens our own brother or sister we will not talk to them for 20 years and you're saying la ilaha illallah muhammadur rasulullah and you want to go into Jannah a movie you solloway up sedona feel lovely una akela that man Allah says those who break the ties that they're supposed to mend and those who cause chaos on earth against them is the curse of Allah I wonder why we're cursed we can't even make peace what's it over I can tell you it's over a few things primarily perhaps it's over money a few pounds that's what it's over inheritance old man died and we've got a problem that's why I say the creature you are trust me the more concerned you must be about your children getting along with each other once you leave you'd rather sort it out in your lifetime I've known many wealthy families back from where I come from most of them totally broken after a generation or two totally may Allah forgive us we have a little issue we cannot get along we have small matters I was saying someone from a different sect we don't greet we don't talk we don't want for what my brother if it was a business deal worth 10 million pounds we would forget about all those differences and we would say hello my brother Salaam Alec how are you let me give you a big hug why ten million pounds bro I promise you we'll invite each other to each other's homes totally different faiths totally diff wallahi we should be respecting each other prior to those ten million and even if they didn't ever come we should be respecting each other in exactly the same way what's wrong why we cannot bring the baggage of far away to where we are and we must learn to respect each other because the difficulties that we're facing our a direct result of our attitude at times and the general norms need to become proper norms it's not normal to start swearing a person you differ with the Christians had their Christmas the other day was it yesterday let them have it subhanAllah let them do whatever they have to why does someone need to spew hate why does someone need to say hurtful words for what the day you have your Eid I'm sure you will be led to have that eat in a beautiful way they will be happy for you subhanAllah we're living in a country where there is not just one religion so many people from all over you would never be able to know the exact number of religions in this country you wouldn't know it and we're a small minut minority trust me so small that you wouldn't even believe how small we are especially if you come from Bradford you feel like you're living in a majority Muslim place right trust me it's not trust me we're so little but we get so excited about things and then when we say something of this nature people said you know what you're asking us to give up our faith not at all do you hear do you read do you understand you remain with your faith you remain you believe you can be a good Muslim but you just have to understand just like you have the right they have the right just like you are convinced they are convinced in another way just and they will go back to Allah and we will all answer to Allah so if I'm wrong I need to go back to the Quran the Sunnah I need to check with the scholars I need to find out and keep asking making sure that I'm doing the right thing if I'm doing the wrong thing I must change myself it's not easy to say I'm sorry I was dealing with the divorce case or not a divorce case but actually a case of marital discord and the woman says if the sky comes and apologizes unconditionally and I will take it I would say okay give him another chance somehow Allah and this guy has never done that before so I tell him I said brother there's one way sorting this matter simple your ego throw it out come with your tail between your legs and you know what just say I'm very sorry whatever I did was unacceptable I'll never do it again I apologize I cannot imagine the torment that I've put you through I really feel that that was so unacceptable and I'm not going to do it again the woman immediately embraced the guy it's okay it's done it's over because history in the making someone who never apologizes suddenly says I'm sorry la ilaha illaallah some of us here we've never said I'm sorry in our lives never not once even when we know we're wrong we still believe I'm right it's me how can I put my pride down I'm older than these guys I'm wealthier than these guys I'm supposed to be the you know the higher of how can I say I'm sorry come out and say I'm sorry because the day will come when the Almighty may not forgive you subhanAllah and I'm about to say I'm sorry my brothers and sisters I was supposed to speak for 45 minutes do you believe it's already 46 minutes I don't usually do that I promise I apologize it's so nasty what I did right but I'm asking you to give me a few more minutes how's that is it okay may Allah bless you 15 more minutes I'm taking from the time of the brothers from the aid organization who will want to raise a few funds so if I'm gonna speak for 15 more minutes you guys have to promise you're gonna donate generously you're gonna donate generously oh oh I better end up I better close shop here man mashallah I think we will be a vanilla someone told me no Bradford you're gonna you know you're gonna smash it not to me but to them and I'm like you better make sure there no windows because they will be smashed and I noticed there is not a single window do you notice I don't know what we're gonna smash my brother's my sisters tonight's motivation is for us to become people who know how to disagree with each other we need to really understand disagreements will happen even among the best of people it doesn't make the other person evil we will disagree within our families be polite understand it's okay I can live with you with disagreement and I can be absolutely United you know when we say unity when we say we are not united and suddenly when you see everyone in maqam a such that together in a harem during Hajj what do we say look look how United they are do we not say that do we not say that we see everyone's going to Arafah and look how United they are trust me they are not United they are not United at all I know of people who go for Hajj with a lot of hatred for the others I know if people who go for Hajj and they really don't like those others who are with them but they're doing the same thing at the same time that is not unity that is uniformity don't mix the two uniformity is never unity unity is tolerating the difference that is united we can be united with everyone with our differences why because we have a common purpose somehow we need to protect this earth we need to for the sake of our children and our coming generations let sanity prevail on earth as time is passing as we are progressing technologically as we are becoming more sophisticated in our education and you know from from a university degree to a masters to a PhD to a double PhD subhanAllah we're becoming people who've lost our values and morals we're becoming people who have lost the ability to interact with people in a respectful way even though they differ very strongly subhanAllah you can differ strongly very strongly I could differ with you totally completely I will still acknowledge you I will greet you I will respect you I will smile at you I will save your life if your life is in danger I will make sure that I have served you even though I differ totally I might not agree so what so what subhanAllah you know when you're driving down the road and something happens to you you would expect anyone to stop an assist I mostly mean non-muslim tall short whoever else sometimes were selective in who we help that's bad that's very bad when the floods strike they don't just strike people who thought the way you're thinking they strike everyone we become human when something happens when you have a natural astha it affects everyone we would like to save all of humanity that's why when Allah speaks of saving lives he doesn't speak of Muslims he speaks of a Neffs the soul the people woman here and he said Jimmy whoever saves a single life he is as good as a person who has saved entire humanity because it's the feeling of the heart I saved one life well some Hannah life everyone had to follow that the world would be a better place so I pray that inshallah we can actually differ with respect and we can actually learn to respect each other love each other care for each other even with our differences may Allah Subhanahu WA Ta'ala bless you all I pray that I'll have a moment to greet every single one of you by the will of Allah Subhanahu WA Ta'ala I hope that happens mashallah we have quite a large number of people here well done Bradford I just came from another event down the road called the night of vocals have you heard of that night of vocals more for the young the youth the little kids who they have a lot of Nasheed artists there they have comedians they have so many others also by Iman channel it's their brainchild and they they're singing and so many other things all vocal vocal meaning even though it sounds a little bit like music but it's made from the mouth so subhanAllah I just attended the beginning of that function and then I came here and I'm witnessing so many people in Bradford all spending these holidays in such a beautiful way when I saw the number of children there I was excited I thought to myself you know what they could have spent this day doing other things but subhanAllah at least they've come through and they're really enjoying themselves really excited you know when when the MC said takbir for them there was such a loud allahu akbar that i haven't even heard when that tech beer is said in the message it's may allah subhanahu wa ta'ala bless you all we need to be concerned not just for ourselves but or our families alone but for the coming generations for community for society's for those of the globe entire inhabitants of the globe we are part of them we need to be caring may Allah grant Aziz Akula kolyada rasul allah who wa sallim wa barik ala nabina muhammad

Channel: Eman Channel

Views: 712,193

Rating: 4.8493366 out of 5

Keywords: mufti menk, mufti ismail menk, dealing with differences, islam and other religions, comparative fiqh, ikhtilaf, how to pray salah, the correct way of worship, mental health, abusive family, child abuse, eman channel, light upon light, mufti menk children, mufti menk mental, health, spiritual health, anger, how to control anger, mufti menk marriage, mufti menk spouse, mufti menk wife, live your life, motivational moments, bradford

Id: JLWC8olFaAo

Length: 51min 58sec (3118 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 20 2020