David Mitchell's Childhood | Would I Lie to You? Compilation | Would I Lie To You?

as a child at my grandparents house I had a little bell that I would ring if I wanted anything [Applause] why did you have a bell well there was a bell it was a pre-existent bell there was a bell in the house and I liked it only at the grandparents house yes not at home because your parents didn't play that yeah oh you just sort of went [Music] Ed when you rang the bell more chips uh a glass of orange squash sense of purpose in life was it both grandmother and grandfather that would come and wait on you hand them foot was it just one or the other uh I was a small child I was indulged to a certain extent but then also to a certain extent there was can you actually stop ringing your Bell now Okay so just team what what do you think the parents could easily have had a bell and the little brat could have just I like the Bell I liked ringing the bell he liked ringing the bell is it true or is it alive Reginald delicious Hunter um well sausage roll I believe that I think that there's a Simplicity to the story that uh Rings true I'll go with that go on then we'll say that that's true you're saying it's true David is it true or is it a lie well it is in fact true [Music] yes yes it's true as a child David's grandparents house did have a little bell that he would ring if he wanted anything Ding-A-Ling ah could I have a posha upbringing please he um that's that's a remarkable impression because it has the advantage of also sounding quite a lot like Ken Livingston you're absolutely right as I did it I thought this isn't the best David Mitchell I've ever done right if it was going to be one of the good David Mitchells would be a bit more like this I don't know why anybody would think I would do that why would they think that and I'll tell you another thing it's David as a child I used to play board games against a bucket with a face painted on it I called this bucket Steven tatlock wow what games did you play uh Monopoly I played a game called diplomacy even then you were thinking of becoming a politician I'm not a politician um why is Stephen tattlock uh well it was basically named after a friend of mine why did you play with Stephen Stephen wasn't always there but after I painted the face of the bucket he was he paint the face on a bucket I think my dad painted the face your dad was involved in this sad story you've decided you haven't got any friends but lucky day for you is this is Stephen I say my father saw me talking to a bucket and decided to accept that side of my nature did your father invent Henry Hoovers afterwards and this is your girlfriend so if you were playing Monopoly you'd have your go and then you'd run round and pretend to be Stephen I wouldn't pretend to be Stephen but I found I had to roll for Stephen Stephen would need help moving his did Stephen ever win yes what do you think Lee is he is he telling the truth what do you think I don't know many people who have an imaginary friend with a surname he's one of the few did you call him Stephen Tattler or Steven did you say it's your turn Steve and tatlock you must do it quickly or otherwise you'll go the way of the other buckets usually usually I call him him Stephen oh you're quite friendly then yeah didn't know there was an imposter did you ever mention the real Stephen Tattler to the bucket I think probably not no I think that would Bliss flew in the world playing with levels of reality I don't want you to think that I felt I was in this anyway being unfaithful to the real oh yeah I can't imagine the real Steven Tyler walking in on the game and you go Stephen [Applause] oh so what do you think then lead time for a guess truth or lie I think it's true you think it's true I don't know why but look at David we know why what'd you think Holly I think uh I don't think it's true I might ask my friend Boris Dickey Laurie sticky says no it's alive so you're saying it's a lie you and Boris say tonight okay or sticky David truffle life it is in fact alive [Music] yes he was a lie when David was a child he didn't play board games against a bucket that he calls Stephen tatlocker okay as a child I had a special way of communicating with Captain Kirk during Star Trek episodes true oh my God what do you reckon special way was I had two ways of communicating with Captain Kirk one was with a little calculator that when you've sort of it had a sort of leatherette case and when you flipped it open it was to my child's eyes uncannily identical to a Star Trek Communicator of the old saw we're talking pre-nipple punch you do this David I know it's no it's more sort of and it would go oh yes that's the secondary noise did you two ever have girlfriends yeah no I didn't in all honesty as a child did you no no no no it was a great noise wasn't it yeah yeah exactly what was the second one the second way was I would sort of Converse a bit with the characters on the screen while it was happening joining slipping oh that's good thoughts uh Captain Kirk um don't interrupt me Spock I'm talking do you know the characters the the famous Star Trek yeah yes check off Bones Bones Bones have you ever refereed anything before why don't you try kicking it in the top right what's he gonna say then Lee what do you think it's the bit that Rings most true that's about all of this was only when I flipped it open because I remember those calculators they used to have a little thing and did you do the whole thing where it spells boobies when you turn it upside down you didn't know what they were okay so is David telling the truth Lee what do you reckon right okay do we believe uh David as a small child would be so lonely and sad that he would have to use his account yes we do yeah you're saying this is true you sure okay David is it true or is it alive I prefer the word imaginative to lonely but uh yes it's true this is true as a child David did have a special way of communicating with Captain Cook during Star Trek episodes David particularly liked Leonard Nimoy that odd life form obsessed with logic would tune in each week to watch Mr Spock oh yes it's David age nine I undertook my first ever acting role as Joseph in the school Nativity a performance described in my end of year report as World weary face team why did they describe it as World weary I think perhaps I thought Joseph would be tired after the long journey when the donkey and the finding that and perhaps I overdid the tiredness and didn't get I didn't get into the Wonder perhaps to the extent that that but I think acting coaches would say you know don't you didn't go for the obvious thing of Wonder yeah obviously I had an instinct for this wonderful doubt that you must have felt you know how did this happen I don't know whether I understood that at that age could you give us perhaps as a treated Christmas a little taste of the performance just just give us a soup song I have some stuff here that could that could help you let's see you can be the three kings oh lovely okay pass them along there pass them along now then imagine it was it was Joseph and Mary arriving so why don't Richard you could be Mary thank you that's very kindly there we are would you like to be a Shepherd I'd very much like activation all right you know what to do with it here's the baby now remember you've got to hide baby Jesus he doesn't appear until later in the script yeah well that's I think now I know exactly where to hide that yeah wow setting for David yeah and then John would you mind holding the star as well I'll be Father Christmas as The Innkeeper all right you haven't arrived yet yeah my career oh no that that's been in God just I literally just had a text from Sonia at my NCT class and they've had they've had the baby Richard Richard I think you're getting the period a little bit wrong in those days no no text nothing I've just I've Just Seen A star in the sky and it's Sonia from my NCT group and they've had the baby oh that's yeah boy can you stop going on about Sonia it's just I'm sorry I know you get on with her but it's been a long journey yeah but that's because that's because her husband Alan has already predicted the nursery and certain people haven't it's his face back to homes under the hammer I'm very you know I found the whole thing very attaching I haven't got any lines I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm going to give I'm going to give you a line Tom oh I've got some here sorry I know you got something all right so get ready so the baby's coming okay look and now a Shepherd has appeared yeah yeah I kick off every Christmas morning [Applause] so are you willing to believe that David was a world weary Joseph at nine years old yes definite definite for me true yeah it would have been a clever boy at nine years old they would have asked him to be Joseph because he's got the gift of the Gap and at night he didn't have a beard yes it was harder for Richard to get the part of Mary because he was that height at night but it's impossible for you to get the part of one of the wise men oh what do you say we will say it is a truth a truth you're saying true David truth or life and it is a lie [Music] it was alive David didn't play a world weary Joseph in his school Nativity I have such a terrible singing voice that one year my teacher told me to mime during our school Carol concert [Music] what was the song I don't know I wasn't there it was a range of Christmas carols well there's a few that you're about it you just you were bad full stop it wasn't just the one song no no I know you're rightly I sung some of them like an angel Oh Come All Ye Faithful I just would scream the word [Applause] in front of everybody um no no no I was I was sort of Taken aside and and said you know you're finding this a bit difficult aren't you and it's put it's putting some of the other boys up so truth or lie time to decide it's kind of too obvious and too easy so I don't know are you thinking of me it's a line I think it could be just a lie I will say like the team says live things yeah okay David flew tall line it is a lie [Applause] it's a lie David was not told to mine during the school Carol concert because he has such a terrible singing voice sir Dave has never been asked to keep quiet at school well once but out of respect for the gym teacher's career we won't go into that child I was scared of the Sun what age um I think this would probably be when I was four five six seven that sort of age when I was 4 567. you know I was still in my infancy as a god what was it about the Sun that you found frightening uh if it was looking at it oh yeah did you just go out at night or something you you never went out during the day no I did I did go out during the day but I I would sort of obsessively keep my eyes towards the ground right the problem was that someone said someone used the phrase if you look at the sun you will go blind funnily enough exactly the same advice for me as well but it was page three of the Sun we'll go out but you would not you would avoid it anyway yeah and then you know occasionally you sort of turn your head and the Sun goes through your vision and it can create that slight you know when you blink you can still see yeah and you thought that was burning I thought right well yeah what's that is that the beginning of the great Eternal Darkness yeah you know you really had a happy childhood today we were all been on our rally grip doesn't you were thinking about the Eternal Apartments did anything else scare you as a child oh yes yes most things what else well the trouble is that some children are timorous and some children are Reckless yeah and so unsagittarius and in order save the lives of Reckless children warnings are calibrated for their safety which the result of which is that the timorous live in a state of Perpetual Terror well I needed to be told is you know what most days you won't die it's fine you know you know not you know I wasn't ever going to tear across a three-lane Motorway right you know the very existence of a three-lane Motorway in the same postcode as me made me not want to leave the house and um presumably you would wait for about three weeks before swimming after a meal oh [Applause] yeah yeah knowing that and having an ice cream in the afternoon and then thinking well I should probably not swim for the rest of the holiday then someone says when I was an adult you don't have to wait at all it's all of me you can swim and eat while looking into the sun so what are we thinking Adam I'm thinking true true fact I'm going through so you're saying it's the truth come on we'll say it's true you're going to say that it's true okay David truth or lie it is true [Applause] yes it's true as a child David was scared of the Sun [Applause] move on you don't even need to hear it this this is my bear tablecloth systems officers once cut his head off and searched him for smuggled Goods [Applause] why do you call this bear tablecloth yes because when I was very little he had a little jacket made out of a tablecloth you are a Shameless little light Entertainer where are we going from or two or uh we were going back from Minorca what did they say they were looking for I imagine it was a sort of a spot check did you see them carving the head off was it happening in front of you on the table on the no I'm glad to say I was shielded from that moment David I'm going off this story tablecloth what do it to him I'm taking the bear into care is there any reason why they didn't check the arms and legs I don't know I should have asked them to them too I should have said call that thorough okay what's that you say you say it's time for Lee's team to take a guess what do you think maybe he's in denial and the truth is he as an adult was searched for drugs and he's so traumatized by what they did to him yeah he's had to create a teddy bear put it all onto him I just that that's why the Bear's hands are like that okay all right we can say lie are we soon I think so okay okay David well it is a lie David's teddy bear didn't have his head cut off by Customs officers as they searched for smuggled Goods

Channel: Would I Lie To You?

Views: 170,910

Keywords: #wilty, british comedy, british panel show, david mitchell, david mitchell wilty, david mitchell would i lie to you, lee mack, lee mack wilty, lee mack would i lie to you, rob brydon wilty, rob brydon would i lie to you, wilty, wilty nope, would i lie to you, would i lie to you bbc, would i lie to you full episode, would i lie to you nope, david mitchell posh and repressed, david mitchell childhood, david mitchell bucket, david mitchell would i lie to you childhood, david

Id: aNwNrPOAG00

Length: 21min 44sec (1304 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 26 2023