10 Food Themed Stories | Best of Would I Lie to You? | Would I Lie to You? | Banijay Comedy

on a recent train journey under cover of darkness in a tunnel I secretly switched bananas with the strange opposite because his looked better than mine so uh why was there no Lighting in this train were you perhaps traveling in the 1870s because it was daytime and in daytime they don't turn the lights on in a train aware of the tunnels on their route the tunnel was so brief and so quick they didn't bother so it was a very brief so it's basically like an extended Bridge it was a shortcut so it was very quick tunnel I would say I would say bananas no no more than five seconds can you demonstrate how you did it yeah I had my banana and I was looking at it thinking you know when yours is just a bit it's not I like them really yellow I don't like that bit with a just gonna start to go a little bit black yeah you know what I mean just a little bit but it was close enough where I thought give it an opportunity I reckon I could swap that banana because he was reading his paper but he's not concentrating on that banana he hasn't fully engaged with the color so he was reading his paper yeah so he's holding a newspaper with two hands and then in one of the hands he also had a banana no no it was on the table in front have you been on a train recently the point is he wasn't holding the banana I'm not that bold no no fine that would have been awkward in the darkness hey what's going on what's going on I know the lights come on mine was sitting on the table here's my sitting on okay and you saw the two bananas yours has gone a bit manky just fresh just on the turn just enough so I could get away with swapping it he said it's plausible that he might think Oh I thought this banana was special than this but it was like a film it was 14 seconds later maybe it's just turned do you have any reading materials that we just sat don't lock me you know I can't read I was simply entertaining myself as ever with my extra sketch and uh I remember thinking he's not looked on that banana once that's wasted on him but that's irritating yeah so and I just thought put it back in its case I'm very protective of it and I thought could I and I was tempted to do it I thought now I'll never get away with this and then suddenly it was Pitch Black I'm struggling to Envision a tunnel that takes five seconds to get through but is well do you know those really long tunnels yeah imagine one of them but really sure that renders the whole Carriage it just a complete blackout yeah well you know all I could say this is one important factor you're missing bright Sunshine eye adjustment bright sunlight on your eyes did I not mention how bright it was very very good right I can't help thinking he wasn't reading that paper he was shielding him the bananas actually grew on the train yeah it's nice you're almost blinded in this stuff like that you know it was so dark but that's my whole point but how did you manage you have to put your hand on his banana rummaged around no I didn't rummage picture to say the extra sketches away he's behind his paper and I'm looking and his Banana's definitely reachable and he's not looking and it's there and even before we got through the tunnel I'm tempted I'm going could I no could I no there's no one look in here there's no one looking and I'm so close to making that decision yeah it goes black get it get it go cool she goes [Applause] and he literally went I knew I'd got away with it so what do you think David what do you think absolute nonsense all right give me another go um pomegranate on a rickshaw [Laughter] I mean it's a very very rich complete picture that Lee has painted yes but I don't think he I simply don't think I think he looks low on potassium as well yes [Applause] [Music] were you this is everybody's on tender hooks to find out and the truth or was it maybe a lie what do we think too no this is the one where you know the answer in that case it's alive I always make toast by ironing the bread and it tastes much better at that point Lee what do you think do you do you apply butter pre-ironing no well that would be mental because then you are in danger of course of cooking the butter you get a buenoise on top of your toast which wouldn't do you any good at all he's good the same iron that you use for the clothes then straight after you can use any hot flat metal Implement to iron the bread you don't have to use an electric iron put a shirt in the toaster metal implements do you have or you can get a spatula and heat it a spatula must take a long time to do toast not a plastic one another Basics you could you could get it you could get a fish slice is this the kind of advice never ever eat up a plastic spatula what's the bread on it doesn't matter what the bread's on oh normally a work surface so when you put the iron on you're going to squash it a little bit surely to flatten it a little bit and squash it a little bit is the point getting this sweaty Palm on it but of course this is it's not it's not rolling hillocks I know this it isn't necessarily flat if you slice it flat it's flat isn't flat what are you doing [Applause] if you cut it into a flat shape and then iron it like any one sense of it if I was going to pick you up on anything tonight Lee and I'd like to think that I will it would be it would be how you pronounce the word topiary so if anybody noticed he went topiary it was like a wonderful mixture of trimming a hedge and a little bowl you have of things that smell nice I say Joe Curry what do you say well it's topiary it's not topiary there's a man iron in his bread in pigtop because I'm saying it's a bit like potpourri what the hell's David gone I thought he was so middle class that I pronounced it wrong and he fainted I not a water bottle onto what I can only describe as a nest of wires and also he was a little bored oh yeah trying to teach Lee how to speak I mean we could be here all night do you if you iron bread wouldn't you would it ever properly toast wouldn't it just get very soggy and hot you could put butter in the steaming bit you can have a butter one and a jam one oh no no but if you put the jam in then you're gonna have the problem you have with the Pop-Tart which is when you get a Pop-Tart comes down you forget to let it cool down a Pop Tart is something that Working Class People have for breakfast I'm about as working class as it gets I don't know where pops are you iron bread I don't always use an iron what do you sometimes use I just told me like a spatula yeah or a fish slice how are you heating up the fish slice you could just put that on a naked flame it's just occurred to me that it's a bit like toasting on the agar isn't it because it's a hot surface similar this is you know I've grown very nice huh what are you going to say Lee truth or lie to toast bread with a fish slice you'd have to get it up to such a temperature it'd be like molten lava hate to bring everyone but the allegation is an iron man that's just chat you're having on your own time the allegation is the iron isn't this yes come on let's make a decision what do you think I simply don't buy because of the fish slice issue Nina I just can't imagine that he'd waste like 20 minutes ironing a piece of bread in the morning it's your break we'll say life since you're like okay Greg Wallace will you telling the truth or are you telling a lie it's a lie [Applause] yeah Greg doesn't make toasts by ironing bread Mr I made a mental note to try that I can break an apple in half with my bare hands David's team what is your Technique I take it in the hands yes at this point of course they're bad yes friction is very much part of this um this equation you must pull it um I'm gonna say east to west a lot of people think you need to twist you don't need to twist you don't need to twist you just don't need to pull up pull it apart how do you get the whole apart won't your hands just slide away from it I'd have thought you'd need to twist if you twist you fail twisting equals tears so you just grip and then fling them apart and you have two half apples no I rip it apart yeah the way you remind me then there's like downward pressure from the thumbs almost as if you're trying to open it like a book yes is that is that what it's like because I I can believe that more than the just grip yes no David that's fair enough yes sir pressure and there it is so where are the thumbs are the thumbs either side of this well where are the thumbs either side of the store yes no been searching or penetration just absolutely not no the the thumbs are used for gripping not for gripping that's what I was is and if you remember if you can remember that you too will be partying how long have you done this for I have done it for a long time what I used to do to entertain was I used to take hard-boiled eggs peel them I still do it and I could take the shell off in one and you you actually peel the membrane rather than trying to don't be all rough-handed and don't you know take your time and when did you do that's the correct way to present yeah when did you first discover that you that you could do the Apple how did it come about how did it come to be I can't remember the first time I did it I can remember the feeling the feeling was magnificent right uh David um is that is that the truth I don't think so but it could be can we leave it at that yeah that's okay on to the next round um no we can't I agree with that I'd love to see him I hope it's true because then they'll make him do it yeah I'd love to see it yeah if it's not true so what's it gonna be I really want it to be true but it isn't true I don't think you can't put on Apple apart can you you can't just rip it in half I also want you to be able to if you and I can't sure I've never tried have you ever tried I had an here I think if those two can't do it David tremendously frighteningly strong hands as I found out to my own cost so you think it's a line okay well I'll go with the giant all right saying it's a light Bob were you telling the truth or were you telling a lie I was telling the truth [Applause] well well guess what I've got under the desk my trusty box of apples it's a proper Apple ready Bob it's a big one thank you foreign does your husband play cricket [Laughter] I love that sort of thing [Applause] I really hope you can't do it [Applause] I had to reprimand my Builder after I came home early one day and caught him eating Donuts in the bath please tea uh how did you how did you reprimand him I said what what do you think you're playing at what's going on with Jam in the middle or the Rings what the donuts or the bar the donut well they're a popular brand they're a crispy Krispy cream other brands are available but that's what he's eating what did what did when you said what the hell are you playing it he said oh so I didn't know you're coming home in in mitigation the bath wasn't filled with water it actually wasn't even plumbed in yet but he was lying in it and just taking a bit of a break having some donuts having my Donuts did you offer him biscuits and donuts beforehand before you left that day certainly not no because I wanted him to plumb the bath in lay on a load of confectionery he's not going to get on with work but anyway he helped himself anyway what upset me is he gone into the kitchen and helps himself to the other yours might no they were minus how many donuts were were there we bought 36 because [Laughter] you do with 36 Donuts because we were expecting friends around because it's a new house and you were having this this housewarming curiously before the bathroom had been finished so I'm concerned about your plumbing yeah well you know [Applause] the new was done uh in fact one of them wasn't done but yes I'm obsessed with the boldness of taking a whole box to the to the bathroom more so than getting in the bath yeah I don't care where he sat I agree how much you don't care if a building was in your house not on it after it's been plumbed in does that bother me oh it's not plumbed in you don't mind anybody sitting in your empty box couldn't we in it for all I go can I just say if you're thinking of breaking into my house that was a joke do not you're in it in my bath I must say I agree with Lee I think an unplummed bath is still the Builder's profits yeah once it's plumbed in they've signed off on it then it's yours it's your place of washing before then who knows anybody can go and sit in an unplummed bath no no a qualified Builder oh donut eater I wasn't of the party still happened though everyone arrived didn't they didn't know they said was this a Showbiz event because I don't remember getting the invite yeah are you in Showbiz are you Lee all right come on there's no there's no need for that Jack [Applause] what are you thinking I don't know Ramesh what do you think I find your idea of serving Donuts at a party unacceptable and and if I turn up to a party expecting donuts and then they said there are no Donuts you know what I said well at least can I just have a hot bath and you can't even offer that are you saying it's a lie Jack truth or lie it is a lie last year I was ordered to leave Blackpool Tower after I threw a sausage roll off the top how were you discovered did someone see you security was at the top and saw you why did you throw it well because I'm a northern I just thought the bins over you know the bin was inside why didn't you finish it because actually I'd already had one this is my second I was halfway through it and I thought no more for me foreign how they were this hot why did you throw it off the top you're there there's security there it's a horrible thing to do because someone how fast is a hot or even quite hot sausage roll you're gonna be moving obese child having a miserable time on holiday in Blackpool of all places and then just heard about the divorce of his parents have another load of high sugar snacks and the next thing he knows a warmish sausage rolls let him slap in the face David let us have a guess I don't I I don't I don't think he would I think it's a lie I think we think this is a lie yeah you're all agreed yeah it's a lie it's a lie okay Lee is it the truth or is it alive it's actually a lie yes it's a lie uh lean was not ordered to leave the Blackpool Tower after throwing a sausage roll off the top as if anyone from the north would waste something wrapped in pastry as a child rather than sleeping with a comfort blanket or teddy bear I slept with a potato what do you think potato or did you did you have different potatoes over the years well that was the problem because you get attached to a potato so when you get attached to a potato it's rotting a bit but she's Comfort it's like you your teddy bears your smells of your old teddy bear or whatever it happens to be the potato is my favorite potato and I used to draw on it so it was one potato the whole time the actual truth is it was taken away from me and I cried and I cried and I cried but they threw it out so it took me like another three or four weeks to get used to the new potato Dale did they have names your potatoes no you slept with a potato that you didn't even know its name yes swag did you hug them did you have them close to your face I used to put it on the pillow like that and I used to bash it is that how you show love Dale whilst the bashing well that's well I used the dentist made in the pillow I received bash it onto the foot and then you sleep I would take it out says that's where you're going to bed later it's the truth of this story that your parents would shout through the door what are you doing in there and you'd say nothing just bashing the potato you haven't asked me why I stopped and this is why you'll realize how did you stop because Mrs marks who was our next door neighbor I heard her talking to my mother in the driveway and I heard Mrs Mark say to my mother is he still sleeping with a potato I think that they've been talking about it and she probably said to Mrs Marx did any of your children ever want to sleep with a potato so what are you thinking Lee Miranda I sort of want it to be true because he's so sweet I do think the two winning things are that that's where you're going to sleep and Mrs March I think Mrs marks exists yeah and I like Mrs hello what's your represent she represents the sanity of the streets shot so what are you going to say Lee what's it going to be I think you think it's true I think it's true all right I'll go with my team and say that it's true you're saying it's true okay Dale Winton the potato in the bed was it the truth or was it a lie I have slept with many things over the years because I'm a very old man but I have never slept with a potato occasionally As a treat I put Marmite on my face and let my dog lick it off and this is this is a treat for you or the dog I see it as a treat for the dog because like many people apparently also very much it's a treat what kind of dog please she's a springer spaniel you say this is predominantly for the dog you must enjoy it on some level because that's quite an extreme activity to do with I've always liked for a dog I've always liked having my face licked by the family dog have a raspy sandpapery tongue and it's not nearly so nice have you ever been caught in that awkward moment where you've Marmite it up and then somebody's rung the door back all right by members of the household but not by strangers at the door do you think dogs like they're like of course it's a helpful all dogs hate Marmite it can't be true I don't think there's anybody on the planet that could answer that questions properly you don't think there's anyone on the planet that could answer the question no all dogs like Mama no I don't think there is I don't want this sound like a rebuke with whether anyone knew whether or not all dogs might hate Marmite you'd know if we're all dogs that's very much just the other side of the coin I might as humans do yeah someone is now in series four you never get into conversations like this before don't do it surely it is in there almost certainly true that some dogs will like Marmite and some won't no for example I would say that no cats right like baked beans would you no [Applause] no ate a bowl of baked beans genuine I swear my life how did the cat get stuck the cats um I don't know when my mum opened it once and then shut and you didn't see it and she didn't see a cat in the fridge Maybe I'm Wrong about cats and baked beans what I'm saying is there are some foods liked by many humans that certain other species will never eat so what I'm saying is different species like different things and it is possible said that humans the things that humans eat that other animals all other animals we've got to learn to work together in that case you need to change your opinion this program is taken on tone of civil unrest I sense Anarchy at the gates David I'll caution you once control your team I'm gonna have to call in the U.N and no longer vouch for my team do you feel like a supplier teacher who's been parachuted into a problem School was to do with the the dog licking off your face now now how often does this occur it's something I started doing as a kid uh because it was a good way to that was a several good way to what to get to get the family dog to lick my face [Music] oh David Mitchell what are you saying uh truth or lie Rod what do you think oh no I think whatever my captain thinks I will back into the hilt oh my word can I say that he just touched David's leg in a slightly effect that's what it takes to have them working as a team attention is that what he's doing [Music] oh yeah well I don't like it um Miranda what do you think um I think it is a lie because uh he doesn't look that desperate for affection in his life it has to be alive otherwise there's something wrong with him so you both think oh thank you okay so uh Hugh Fernley witting still it was a lie I love gravy so much that I freeze it into ice lollies to suck in the summertime David you maniac what what sort of gravy beef chicken or vegetable beef gravy would be my gravy of choice do you only make lollies out of the beef gravy if I'm desperate yeah you do sound desperate I might possibly choose another gravy do you use granules I try and avoid granules because I think if you're going to have a gravy ice Lolly you might as well do a posh one yeah and everybody thinks it's strange yeah no because I think if I made you one you suck that gravy Lolly please need the inhaler again yeah you suck that gravy knowledge and you'll be like Nikki there's the slogan right there it markets itself you suck that gravy Lolly is this the truth or is Nikki telling a lot what do you think I think it's true you think it's true I think she's off a nut and I think she's made a gravy Lolly I think it's a lie because I think no I can't believe I'm having to justify this it's a gravy Lolly I think it's a lie I think overall I think it's a lie it was a lie okay Nikki was it the truth or was it a lie it is in fact a lie yeah well I'm I'm still blind so David would you save us all a lot of time and read my card out for me please okay I eat an apple a day in a very particular way right Lee's team how long have you eaten an apple a day oh maybe probably coming up to a year nine ten months maybe 10 months so what is this particular way well the usual way to eat an apple they don't need to cover that we know well I mean Steven's from Scotland he might be aware of eating fruit but if you you're going through the side and you eat around the core yeah and you put the core in the bin yeah you're not going to tell me you eat the core first because we're not going to believe you eat the whole thing because I read from a very reputable news source that um 90 of the goodness is in the core 90 of the goodness of an apple there's that little bit in the middle in the middle that's where all the goodness is all the benefits it does so much for your health I've been chucking the core to the dog the dog now is an Olympic athlete explains it so Chris you eat the apple and where most of us then would be left with the core and would discard it you you just carry on no no no the way that everyone eats an apple is is fundamentally wrong so you don't go in through the side you need to go in through the bump the opposite end to the store so if you go in through the boom you don't notice the core because it's distributed equally amongst sweet juicy apples so you don't notice all of the goodness sir the hell are you talking about I mean if you eat an apple from the side and you're left with the core all you've got is oh but if you read it through the bum up that way you're getting a little bit why don't you eat it through the side but just keep chewing through the core because because then it's just cold yeah because now I'm gonna go right [Music] through the ride through the core before you get back to Apple again whereas if you eat the bomb end you're taking more Apple each bite yeah who told you that the core is the best part of the Apple I don't want this to the tracks from the authenticity of the story in any way but it was on Apple news I genuinely thought you subscribed to an Apple you do you know what Lee as well you would be amazed two years ago I found out that I'd been eating a banana upside down my whole life what do you mean upside down your instinct is you get the stalk and you snap this oh yes now and if you open it the other way more pleasing isn't it yeah you hold on to the still can twist the nipple and be the wrong way you're still eating the whole banana because if you bend the stem you run the risk of mushing the end of the banana so what I'm saying is Lee if you eat an apple from the bum there's so many benefits that's the benefit yeah everything except for curing blindness so so um what are you gonna say truth or lie I'm not buying that you're not buying it no no no not having that with your Apple nonsense okay Chris truth or lie I'm here to change the world Robert it's true it's David once a week I love to eat a full English breakfast but can only do so if I'm entirely stripped to the waist look at Lee's team what do you think once a week you say yeah any particular day of the week at the weekend usually a Saturday or Sunday you know the weekend is David [Music] do you cook it in that state of undress or do you get undressed once it's cooked I I guess I get undressed once it's cooked I'm out of undressing require I mean I I take my top off but it's Downy Street Racing you're David for the sausage and bait we're not done yet yeah now let's get them off and none of you going to ask why I am about to ask oh good what on God's Earth function does taking your top off play in this breakfast in many ways I've I've lost a lot of self-respect and sometimes I like to wallow in there in that case we think it's true I do find there's a certain amount of splatter involved in in the eating of is this getting sexual not from my volume is this on your own or would someone join you it's more usually on my own I don't think so yeah can I can I ask you a question Gabby do you like a fried breakfast sorry there's this for practical reasons as you say just to stop the splashing or is it a lovely sense of liberation I think it's partly practical partly yes of course you feel closer to Nature so what are you thinking Lee what are you going to say is he telling the truth here Christy what do you think do you eat with your clothes on I do I do you don't strip off for any reason to do with eating no not really do you think he does having got to know David during the course of this evening I'd rather suspect he does uh Diane do you do no I do not no no I was gonna say Do you believe it I wasn't taking the opportunity I was absolutely I've never said it out loud but now you've brought it off do you want to come around on Sunday a waffle do you think David is telling the truth or do you I think he's telling the truth I think David's well brought up educated Champion it's not true I'm I'm online now yeah okay we have to go with lie then you're gonna say light David truth or lie please don't be true it is a lie foreign [Applause]

Channel: Banijay Comedy

Views: 283,297

Keywords: #wilty, british comedy, british panel show, david mitchell, david mitchell wilty, david mitchell would i lie to you, lee mack, leemackwilty, rob brydon would i lie to you, wilty, wilty nope, would i lie to you, would i lie to you bbc, would i lie to you full episode, would i lie to you nope, would i lie to you compilation, would i lie to you funny compilation, would i lie to you funny moments, would i lie to you food stories, lee mack sausage roll, lee mack compilation, wilty2023

Id: tuxenia1CrM

Length: 36min 12sec (2172 seconds)

Published: Sun Aug 20 2023