David Letterman and Johnny Realize They’re Neighbors | Carson Tonight Show

when I asked David when I asked David Letterman to be on the show even though he's 3 000 miles away in New York he said of course and that shows you what a good friend he is and the fact that it's 19 degrees in New York and snowing I don't think had anything to do with it at all uh his show has been picked up by NBC for another full year would you welcome David Letterman [Applause] [Music] [Applause] let's go thank you I don't know if you were uh I uh I don't know if you heard the question that I was asked a moment ago by somebody of our audience when I was reading the cards they asked if you were my son which I thought was uh well it's flattering in a way uh to whom you're a decent looking person but oh thank you I well no that's uh yeah it is flattering in a way isn't it yeah yeah how are you I uh I'm good thanks for having me on the show I enjoy being on the show and I'd like to begin my presentation tonight with a little anecdote good all right um Ed how are you good thank you go right here I have a question about that giant prize a little bit later all right you see um whatever you want to know are you are you personally going to award that yes I am if you win I will come to New York and give it to you really to my house well I'm not going to go to your house it may not be tidied up but I'll come to the studio they you don't expect lunch or anything no no no it's gonna personally appreciate that giant cash price so today I'm coming into the studio from uh where I live and as I find out now where uh someone else also lives and uh I get behind this department of sanitation truck big greasy noisy monster and on the tailgate there's this warning and they get the big yellow letters this is a vehicle makes frequent stops do not follow and uh boy there you know another one of Life Simple Pleasures ruined by a meddling bureaucracy remember uh the good old days and added load y'all in the car and you'd pack a lunch and you'd spend the afternoon following a garbage truck are gone it's a simple place over and it's done so now is this the deal you and I are in the same neighborhood well I didn't realize that until uh after I I moved up to what they call out here in Malibu Point Doom in that area right and I found out it's beautiful it is it is very lovely breathtaking it's very nice and I found out that you have been in that area for some time that's right and uh I just like to say something to you Johnny we don't take a liking to show people parties parties come traffic coming in and out of there you know when you when you I'm sure you went through a little bit of this but uh uh when you buy a house after the deal is closed it's too late to do anything about it then you start hearing things about the house you didn't hear before you bought it uh I had moved into the place about a week and I run into a guy in the market nice enough fellow and he says I know it's none of my business uh but uh you uh didn't you buy that place on the corner I said yeah yeah I did he says uh let me ask you a question about that he said how many uh how many of them gay wrestlers did they find buried in the yard is there anything I should know about this particular area well you know what I was thinking about and I don't know if you thought about it or not but you and I are in the same in the same neighborhood and uh literally a block and a half apart now for say say there's some sort of cataclysmic occurrence that's right some sort of devastating explosion and we're both killed Merv will be king never heard of that no you should Narrows them down well yeah if there is don't come to my house for supplies I have a big 12 gauge right at the front of the door there in case people come in for food and stuff but that's that's good everybody's talking about it I guess you know who moved in and yeah big shot well uh yeah do you want to come and visit him someday and well I'd love to I'd be scared silly I don't know I'd love to come by well good get the tires out of the yard and I'll come in okay I understand you have a red pickup out in front of your place so just go until you see the red pickup well let's just give them the address now [Applause] it's all over yeah I do that's the red pickup it needs to need some clutch work but but don't we all um I don't know I understand I hear you that your um your show was picked up by uh the network for another year that's right that's right [Applause] that was uh we were all quite happy about that yeah now you want you're back east of course and you're not too far away from Washington um are you planning to go down for the festivities in the middle of January no but uh you know uh I do want to talk about it because I think there have been some interesting things happen uh with the inauguration uh first of all this uh this deal with uh they advertised they want 200 clean-cut All-American type actresses performers singers dancers to work for free it started a big controversy that's right it's a big flap and you don't want that at your inauguration but there's a big flap and so uh I was thinking well this is a little ironic they're looking for clean-cut people to work for free now you take a look at the list of paid performers and you see the name of Jerry Lee Lewis now um we're not saying he's not a talented man right but clean cut I mean this is not exactly Marlo Thomas this guy so I thought that was a little bit interesting and then they said uh when the people were saying you're not going to pay these performers well you should you should do something for them and so the the administration said oh all right uh we'll uh we want him just to march in the procession down Pennsylvania Avenue there and besides that we're you know government housing and right away you know Leavenworth penitentiary is government housing so uh uh and and they said and and we're not paying them but they're going to have this wonderful exposure the kind of exposure that every Entertainer dreams of having and I thought well yeah that that makes sense because I think most of today's really successful the really big stars were discovered in parades except I take them back Jessica Lang was was a rodeo clown that's right Cary Grant was an acrobat I think at one time so yeah at all the circus it's all going to work out one way or the other yeah I saw this sitting here and it reminded I didn't see anything happen to you I didn't know whether to bring this up well I'm glad you did because I was going to talk about this one night me too I went through the same thing I thought talk about it and people will call you an in great that's right uh has to do with our own network that's right we will sound like the two in grades but I can't I'm stunned that it happened to you all right we're talking about Christmas gifts and and let me let me preface this remark by saying that NBC last year grossed 167 million dollars okay now foreign Ed was there to help personally award that giant crowd that's you know and they can spend their money anyway they damn well want as as they prove over and over but um [Laughter] but uh it comes to be Christmas time and again you don't seem like an ingrate they were nice enough to give me a gift but I didn't realize that they gave you the same gift you got it okay so what you get you come home and it's been delivered it's a little basket which is all right filled with Hershey Kisses little chocolate kisses so what's what's that 79 cents in bulk probably less you gotta remember that two ton two tons of those so uh you get the the chocolates are gone in an afternoon you know and uh if you have pets they're sooner they're going they were just a little sprinkling there were a handful of them exactly a sprinkling and uh a little book about chocolate and uh it's especially a nice gift now in light of what we know about sugar and caffeine and what that does to you but the the the centerpiece the the centerpiece the Crown Jewel of the NBC Christmas gift is this John why don't you just hold on all America there's a little a little pillow that's right and a little in the cheap embroidery here somebody they have in a sweatshop obviously stitched NBC loves chocolate and you that's right now what what the identification is with loving chocolate and us at the same time I was not able to put together but is it any wonder I felt special with with this now um and then I it's a Keepsake it's a Keepsake in years to come you'll treasure more and more they want they want a bundle yeah yeah uh chocolate and you yeah I'm a Drano I mean my chocolate I can't believe that they sent this to Mr T hey you fool you see what I get we'll be right back after this break folks everybody

Channel: Johnny Carson

Views: 124,225

Keywords: episode, best, funny, youtube, funny videos, comedy, laugh, funniest, stand up, comedian, hilarious, stand up comedy, johnny carson, tonight show, humor, sketch, johnny carson bloopers, johnny carson show, johnny carson animals, johnny carson monologue, johnny, carson, tonight, show, funny video, best of johnny carson, funniest moments johnny carson, david letterman

Id: LMnuscF3vAw

Length: 9min 55sec (595 seconds)

Published: Tue May 16 2023