Dating and Courtships | Marriage Today | Jimmy Evans

friendship is the basis of a good marriage we before were lovers we should be friends and so we should in fact we should be best friends God designed marriage to where you have a lifelong partnership with your best friend and that is a wonderful thing now some people aren't experiencing that right now or maybe you never did there are a couple of problems that a lot of people experience related to being best friends with their spouse and the first is an improper courtship there was something wrong with their courtship this happens a lot of times because many times we just don't know how to court and where maybe we're not saved when we're dating or something like that but the the biggest problem that people have is becoming too sexual too soon and I want to set one more time before were lovers we should be friends and I'm not talking about friends for a couple of days I'm talking about friends for a year two friends until we're married God is not approved he's not against fun he created sex and he created it to be a lot of fun and a wonderful blessing but understand this whenever you start dating and the temptation is there to become sexual and it might be more the men that are a boyfriend or or a fiancé that's pressuring a woman to be sexual the statistics are going up of young people becoming sexual sooner and young girls willing to have sex with someone that they're dating casually they're dating you know seriously or whatever and I want to say this I do not want to be inappropriate but I just want to say something because our society we have a cohabiting immoral society that does not regard sex the way the Bible says that they should and I want to say it again God is wise he's not a fuddy-duddy and what God understands is this when you date properly in a non-sexual way it creates relationship skills and emotional strength in that relationship that will provide a foundation for your marriage from that point and sex then becomes the you know the the blessing at the end of the road that you share then from that point forward as the reward of a journey well travel okay but what happened so often is you just begin the relationship and then there's because you're attracted to one another and sometimes because of the pressure of the of the young man or something a woman fears that if she doesn't give him sex that she's going to lose the relationship and he's going to go somewhere else now I want to say this now you know I want to be careful in the way I say this but I want to say it because there's so much pain caused by this issue and that's the reason I'm saying it I'm going to talk to the young ladies because they're more sane in this area and they're the enforcers in this area young ladies okay and women who may be dating or whatever like that now you're attractive you're beautiful God made you that way and a young man is going to be attracted to you and when you're dating him he's gonna want sex and in here here's what you need to say to him okay and that is if he's the right one now first of all if you're displa casually dating him just telling him he doesn't have a one-in-a-million chance ever and if he pressures you you'll never date him again and if that causes him to go away it just proves he's a jerk and it proves what he's after okay and you you know play this tape for him but let's just say that you're serious and you believe he is the right one that still means you should not have sex if you give him sex you will create an emotionally lazy over-sexualized man who will be a poor husband and a poor father God's not a fuddy-duddy he knows what he's doing in young ladies it ought to be a young men should honor women and their sexuality and not pressure them for that but if he does pressure you and even you have the desire I'm saying there's a reason for waiting and that reason is there are consequences to sex diseases pregnancy all kinds of things like that and you don't know if he's going to stick around and father that child until he puts a big gaudy ring on your finger and says he loves you in front of a bunch of people and that's what a wedding is you don't know he's going to stick around and he'll abandon you if you're not careful so here's what you say to that young men who's dating you or that man that's dating you I'll make you a deal you make me a bride I'll make you a baby but you don't have a snowball's chance of having sex with me before you marry me and if that causes you to go away you're not the man I've been praying for okay I'll be nice for the rest of the message I just needed to say that but people people in our society it ruins the friendship when you become too sexual too soon it could be that you didn't have a long enough courtship period and you say what's long enough courtship period I don't know I mean it's kind of you know it depends on the individual and the circumstances I say two weeks isn't long enough but I would say six months to two years is a is a good time frame some people date longer than that some people don't they quite that long but you need to date long enough to know a person's character and to see them in different circumstances where you see them in good times and bad times and you see their character tested and you're able to talk to their friends and family and find out what they're really like and so it's a it's an important time to find the character of the individual that you're about to commit your life to sometimes we we married too soon sometimes we become too sexual too soon sometimes we we just don't have the right courtship experience so we don't get the foundation right it can be repaired and I'm not saying anything I'm saying to condemn anybody I'm saying you can repair it if you didn't do it right before you got married you repair it and for those of you they're not married do it right and you'll have a lifelong blessing because you laid that foundation properly we're able to come to you with this program we hope that you're 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Channel: MarriageToday

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Length: 8min 18sec (498 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 06 2012