Dad Has 27 Kids & I Took Two Youngest In But Now Older Siblings Hate Me For Replacing Their Bio-Dad

due to some unfortunate circumstances i 27 male wound up adopting my two brothers a little over a year ago it was difficult but we're doing well now for anyone who may ask explaining our family tree is too complicated but the short version is my dad had a heck of a lot of affairs he has 27 bio children that i'm aware of a few months ago i picked the boys up from school and the oldest called me dad and sort of gave me the please don't say anything eyes when we got home he explained that he told all his friends i was his dad because it was easier to explain youngest admitted he did it too i told them it was fine and as time progressed it's gotten to the point where they call me dad all the time now it's quite euphoric really their therapists had some concerns but it's all sorted now anyway we finally had a meet up with our other siblings and their families at which point one of my boys naturally called me dad my older brother 29 got sort of twitchy but nothing was said most of my siblings agreed to end the meet-up early and we went home i thought it was because our other siblings didn't really talk to the younger two most of them had started their own families and didn't talk to our dad much and some of them weren't actually aware he'd had a second kid with his new girl that wasn't the issue older brother messaged me basically calling me cruel for pretending to be their father and trying to replace our doubt and then proceeded to make out that our dad was this great guy which is hilarious considering they all hated him before he died anyway it caused a pretty big fight between him and me where i tried to explain that they called me dad off their own backs and i'm not going to deny them that comfort he basically said i was manipulative and got our other siblings involved who mostly agreed that the boys shouldn't call me dad because it was unfair my younger sister even had the guts to say it's not fair that they get to have a dad when the rest of them didn't which is frankly disgusting i blocked most of them and i refuse to force my boys to call me anything they don't want to am i the idiot not the idiot if the boy's therapist don't have an issue with it and you don't and the boys don't everyone else can buzz off it's not your fault your dad couldn't control himself nor is it your fault he died before your siblings grew up and it's definitely not your fault he was a crappy dad you may have some fun explaining when their future partners enter the picture but that's a long way down the line i laughed so hard when i read 27 bio children your dad was doing it big isn't child support for 27 expensive 27 bio children no wonder your dad is hated i personally think that it's a beautiful thing that you're doing by all means if you adopted your brothers you are legally their father and the father figure they accepted why anyone would want to deny that is beyond me i understand your siblings might have been unsettled at first but just because their father made them miserable doesn't mean your brothers should be miserable agreed opi even mentioned that it was discussed with their therapist who seemed to agree that it was best for their mental health to refer to him as their real father the other siblings are either jealous that they don't get to be the parent or just don't like to see people being happy and all they're trying to do is tear down a wall that keeps these boys feeling safe i'm just really curious about the 27 children how far apart is everyone does everyone know each other oh right okay well oldest will be 41 in march youngest is actually three but she lives with her mother i made the decision with her to keep the youngest out of the family because we've got a bit of a screwed up dynamic going on our dad tried to visit all his kids so we know each other or i know everyone anyway i always traveled with him whereas everyone else stayed with their mother some of them have chosen to stay out of the family which is completely valid i 50 male was recently gifted a 23 and me kit i've always been interested in my heritage and knew i was of mostly german and polish extraction with some viking heritage but i figured it would be fun to see if anything else popped up no real surprises it confirmed what i already knew discovered a bit of french and italian ancestry that made sense after thinking about it discovered a trace of mongolian ancestry which also made sense as the horde got around essentially my family is so white we blend into the snow i was entertained by the results and the maps so i sent them to my brothers 48 and 46 and posted them to facebook cue all heck breaking loose middle brothers friends started messaging me asking if i was sure those were my results if i was sure i was actually my father's kid and telling me those results were impossible they also contacted youngest brother to ask what he thought about the results and were confused when he replied that there were no real surprises we were confused by the uproar and reached out to middle brother he is livid that i shared my results without asking him he has evidently been claiming native american heritage for decades youngest brother and i were completely flawed by the notion as we've always been well aware of our heritage all of our great great grandparents arrived in the us between 1908 and 1912. four of our great-grandparents were children at the time the other four were born in the u.s none of this was a secret we even knew most of our great grandparents so what middle brother has always kind of lived in a fantasy world but this is just bizarre he's infuriated with me and says i had no right to share his private information except it's my information too and i don't feel obligated to keep my heritage a secret he says i've embarrassed him and i should have asked if sharing it was okay am i the idiot not the idiot he should be the one embarrassed for claiming native american heritage for decades without even confirming it it's a different story if it was his results but you can do whatever you want with information about yourself i really hope he hasn't been using his made-up native ancestry to get any benefits that would be really bad it's horrific to claim to be part of a heritage that struggled so much for his own benefit it's like blaming someone else for exposing your lie it's more about him than you not the idiot chief middle brother has clearly told some whoppers to his friends group else i doubt they'd have such an exaggerated reaction to your news i mean questioning whether you were your father's son is a bit much so i do wonder what stories he's told them while that is unfortunate and i'm sure the fallout embarrassed him that's not on you best case scenario your middle brother's been faking native american heritage for social clout worst case he defrauded a scholarship fund or something and had to keep up the story afterward either way he's the idiot for lying and for acting like your shared genetics are his private information you didn't know you were sharing something that could embarrass him because he lied to you too clear-cut not the idiot he should be embarrassed for falsely claiming native american heritage when he's never had any proof beyond maybe some cherokee princess family legend also birth records and census records are public information so if someone wanted to trace your family's ancestry all the way back to when your ancestors immigrated and possibly beyond they could unless your brother was adopted and his adoption records are sealed his genealogy is absolutely not private for people who don't know what fairy rings are they're rings usually made of mushrooms in fields there's folklore attached to them that says if a human steps into one the fairies will take them away i know this is not real but i grew up with a very superstitious grandmother who would tell me this stuff all the time as a kid if she saw me walking towards one she would literally yell for me to stop and change direction as an adult again i know they're not real but that doesn't mean i'm about to start walking through fairy rings willy-nilly i live with my boyfriend and two friends a couple and we arranged to meet another couple for a hike they teased me a lot for being superstitious as there have been a few other times that it's come up we were hiking and i saw a fairy ring directly ahead again i know they aren't real but i just tilted a little to the left so i went around no one noticed then a few minutes later there was another and again i went around this then happened a third time at that point my friend asked why i kept swerving away from the group i was like huh didn't notice but my boyfriend realized and burst out laughing telling them what i was doing they started laughing and joking and then began jumping in and out of the ring and stomping and kicking the mushrooms while teasing me about it they were loud enough that a few people nearby were looking over and they looked ridiculous i told them to stop but they didn't i then started walking we were on our way back so i just kept going they caught up with me a few minutes later and three out of the five people i was with said i was being a brat and overreacting making them feel bad and ruining a nice day out i said that acting immature in public wasn't my idea of a good time and they said i was being a witch the other two said the joke's over let's just head back and things went back to normal-ish however once we were back my boyfriend rounded on me and echoed his earlier sentiments he was one of the people who gave me a hard time saying that i embarrassed him and was acting witchy over a joke and i'm being overly superstitious and need to chill i said he was being an idiot then he's being won now and i'm sick of them teasing me and they should have known when i wasn't laughing that i didn't find it funny he said they aren't mind readers and i can't expect them to just know i don't find things funny and i owe him and the others an apology for getting upset over a joke about something i take too seriously anyway am i the idiot edit this morning my boyfriend and friends had a series of bad luck i made a joke about it and he lost his temper we have now split up not the idiot i can't believe your friends and boyfriend speak to you like this i've been with my husband for almost 20 years he has never not once called me a name let alone call me a witch or has said that i'm acting witchy i just can't imagine having a romantic partner that would do that not the idiot it wasn't funny when they were teasing you and it was doubly unfunny when they stomped on the mushrooms for no good reason like even if you don't care about fairy rings don't mess up our fungal friends given all they do for the forest not the idiot i wouldn't make fun of someone for not walking under a ladder i also wouldn't ask for an apology if i made fun of them and they got upset i'm assuming you're irish maybe i completely understand the superstition my granny and anse would be the same way i don't see why you need to apologize at all maybe it's just a cultural thing for superstitions like this not the idiot classic fools were turning the blame to you for not getting the joke instead of apologizing for upsetting you honestly your boyfriend sounds like the worst one he created the vibe that it was okay to make fun of you and they all took it so far by literally destroying the rings you were also just walking around them quietly you weren't trying to force others to partake in the ritual they could have let you be we have now split up they sowed what they planted don't dish out unless you can take it too guess the fairies didn't like their attitude either good riddance i 21 female used to date this guy connor 25 connor and i met through some mutual friends and dated for around seven or eight months he broke up with me and immediately moved on with one of my best friends milly28 it was hard to watch and it strained my relationship with millie for a while she'd constantly remind me they were dating and at the time it was hurtful however during that time i met my current boyfriend matt 21 after matt the comment stopped meaning anything and i was able to fully accept things my feelings for connor disappeared and eventually i was able to fully move on and be happy i meanted my relationship with millie as well i now live with matt after about a year together i wasn't able to introduce him to everyone but i got around to it a few months ago the moment i introduced matt millie began making the weirdest comments things like oh op you and i have very similar tastes and be nice to him or i might just have to take this one from you too it was super uncomfortable for both matt and me so i texted her after to let her know that the comments weren't appreciated or appropriate she told our mutual friends about it and it was split between her being wrong and them telling me i was overreacting she eventually apologized but the jokes continued just more subtle it was easy to brush them off she called me a few days ago begging us to come over apparently connor had dumped her and she was having a mental breakdown in their apartment we showed up saw the place was a mess and told her to shower while we straightened up and ordered dinner she calls for help from the shower i go to help her and she's in a robe with it fully open laying on the floor with her legs open the second she sees me she closes a robe and stands up as if nothing happened i didn't know what to think but as the night went on it just got to be a lot she wouldn't get dressed out of her robe and kept almost exposing herself it got a little late and she suggested i go home i asked if she was okay with this she said yes so i began to pack up with matt she asked if matt could stay with her and i told her if she felt that unsafe alone she should come home with us she restated that she just needed matt and i snapped i called her a desperate little witch and left shortly after with matt she was crying when we left but i didn't care anymore she kept calling us but we refused to go back yesterday we found out that she had a full meltdown after we left and didn't show up for work for five days her sister came to check on her and found the house an absolute mess millie told them we left her alone after she begged us to stay i told our friends my side and most of them are saying i did the right thing but her sister and some of our other friends are saying i'm an idiot for leaving her alone when she was clearly in crisis honestly i'm beginning to think i should have just sucked it up and held my tongue am i the idiot though not the idiot at all she is way out of line and inappropriate in all honesty i don't think this friendship is healthy and you should end it she had every intention of trying to sleep with your current boyfriend does she need help probably are you responsible for getting her that help at the risk of your own mental health and relationships oh no her sister and her family need to take care of her not you and if her sister contacts you again tell her sister is her problem was she taken to a hospital evaluated by a mental health professional prescribe medication my guess is none of those things so when she or her sister says that you left her during a full meltdown this doesn't really mean anything millie is a petulant toddler who likes the idea of taking other people's things as well as being the center of attention when she didn't get what she wanted she threw a tantrum like a child it was appropriate for you to leave when you did and i would avoid her her sister and all of your drama-loving friends who blame you for her absurd behavior not the idiot wow not the idiot there are so many red flags from her behaviour you should have left her alone as soon as you walked into the shower and seen what you did never introduce her to or leave her alone with any guy you care about update this whole thing has been eye-opening and i feel so dumb for believing this woman ever cared about me i thought her good could outshine the bad but it's not enough ironically i had a bit of a meltdown of my own today i cried for a few hours after reading everything and i apologized to matt for keeping her in our lives he forgave me and we called millie and told her we were done i dropped off all of her belongings i had in my car at my apartment this morning and blocked her on all social media i told my friends the whole story even with all the embarrassment i felt everyone except millie's sister and friends agreed that she isn't who we thought she was at all i also with matt's permission and encouragement confronted connor i asked if he'd ever done anything with millie while we were together and he denied it i don't believe him but i refuse to dwell i'm moving on with my life thank you all so much for your help when i found i was pregnant i was excited and waited a while to tell my mother when i did tell her i specifically asked her not to tell anyone that i wanted to wait to share the news myself when i felt ready for one i'm a very private person but also i wanted to make sure the pregnancy was viable before telling anyone well i didn't know about this but immediately after i told her she started telling everyone she told my niece who's a big gossip and although my niece doesn't speak to me because of her differing political views she told everyone in the extended family about my pregnancy including people i haven't seen or talked to in years we live very far from each other and have grown apart over time a few weeks ago my grandmother called my mom and my mom put her on the phone to say hi the first words out of my grandmother's mouth were i know everything about the pregnancy i was livid i'm not even close to my grandmother she was never around when i was a child and we never developed a relationship after my mother finished talking to my grandmother i was extremely mad and let my mother know she wouldn't even talk to me about what she did and instead ran out of my house crying and saying i always ruin everything she then made a huge scene in my front yard for all my neighbors to see and drove off refusing to talk to me i was extremely embarrassed by this as my husband and i live a peaceful life and have never made any scenes for the neighbours to see i wrote her a message and i was kind of mean about her and told her that she is nosy and how mad i was that she treated my personal life as gossip and shared it with everyone when i specifically asked her to keep it to herself it's been weeks since she hasn't spoken with me since i feel bad that i'm pregnant and not speaking with my mother but also don't feel i should have to apologize when she broke my trust and confidence by making my pregnancy all about her and telling everyone when i wasn't ready am i the idiot for holding my ground and not reaching out to her or apologizing i feel like i'm the one who is owed an apology not the idiot there's no way you could be the idiot since a pregnancy announcement is a pretty big deal and should be done by the actual pregnant person your mother blatantly went against your wishes good riddance in my opinion are you sure you want your baby who has a grandma who so clearly ignores what you want what's going to happen when you say that the baby can't eat certain foods or needs a nap or literally anything if your mom literally does the opposite of the only baby related thing you asked her to do it seems like it's a clear sign that she can't be trusted not the idiot this is a really big secret to spill not only did she steal your thunder you specifically asked her not to tell anyone and then instead of apologizing she doubled down time to put her on an information diet your mom was so out of line and is now playing the victim i'm sorry you were robbed of telling people and experiencing that it's not okay that happened to you but congratulations anyways you

Channel: XO

Views: 69,281

Rating: 4.9372692 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, reddit stories, ask reddit, askreddit, reddit woman, reddit real voice, r/aita, r/mil, affair, bio dad, reddit bio father, reddit affair babies, reddit siblings, reddit family, biological father

Id: CirHKXeSkTQ

Length: 19min 30sec (1170 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 24 2021