Sister Got Pregnant With My BF But He Screwed Her Royally & Now She Begs Take In Her & My EX's Baby

my sister 27 and i 29 have not spoken in eight years i was engaged in planning my wedding when i found out she was having an affair with my ex-fiance she was pregnant at the time which is the only reason i found out before the wedding he admitted he would have kept going the way things had been if it wasn't for her pregnancy i told her then that she was dead to me and she better never need me for anything because i would not be there for her we lost her dad a year after all that happened and our mom died last year my ex ended up messing her over royally and now she's in a massive pile of debt homeless and jobless she reached out to me and asked if she and her kids could live with me for a while i said no she begged i told her that my stance had not changed on the matter and she needed to go somewhere else because i would never ever help her she ended up with our aunt in another state my aunt has since been upset with me for turning her away saying it's petty to hold it against her and not to help family especially family with kids i told my aunt that she ceased being family when she did what she did to me yes she was young yes but she was my sister and supposed to be my friend too and none of this was enough to not do something like that to me that she would have let me marry him while being intimate with him behind my back my aunt told me it was no reason to tell her she deserved everything she got which i never said to her i didn't even curse at her as much as i would love to my sister also tried reaching out again and asking for cash i just ignored her which made my aunt even angrier am i the idiot not the idiot you cut her off and she's made no attempt to reach out and mend fences unless she needs something from you that is not the behavior of someone who is trying to make up seems like you made a good call not getting caught up in her problems again also congrats on finding out the dude was such a loser before the wedding day exactly plus i am sure the only reason aunt is mad at opie is because now she's the one who took them in and has to pay for sister and her kids because aunt had no problem with op cutting her sister out of her life before sister became a burden for aunt and i bet she wouldn't have said anything if they ended up in someone else's house instead of hers she probably regrets letting them move in opie block your sister and block aunt too if she doesn't stop stay far away from that mess karma is a witch and she has a mean right hook not the idiot where was this supposed obligation to family loyalty when she was banging your fiance she didn't give a darn then you shouldn't now luckily her getting pregnant helped you dodge a bullet but you don't owe her anything this is a difficult situation but no one can expect you to take the children of your ex into your house even if the mother is your sister you owe them nothing not the idiot funny how she's only reaching out to you when she needs something from you she should have attempted to apologize and make amends years ago in fact she never should have started anything to begin with she did not make a mistake she made a conscious decision knowing it was wrong and very hurtful now she has to deal with the consequences of her choice you're totally justified in not helping someone who was cheating with and got pregnant by your ex-fiance every day you would be faced with the product of their affair and that's far too much to ask sister or not what she did was unforgivable not the idiot sure she has been intimate with your fiance got pregnant with his baby but you can't turn her away because she's still family i don't know what kind of saint your aunt would be if this happened to her but i'm sure nobody would agree with her and i'm not even sure she would take them in if she was in your shoes to your aunt good i knew you would be the saint to take her in because i know i can't do that while keeping moral family doesn't mean anything when she was actively trying to sabotage yours i 31 mail have been with my wife 30 for 10 years now and she always has had this habit of making me look bad with our finances whenever anything regarding spending money comes up she will always say how broke we are and she doesn't have the money to do this or buy that the thing is we're doing well financially we have decent jobs and combined our salary is roughly 125 000 a year as of today our net worth is more than one million dollars but less than two i had saved invested a lot before getting married so i gave us a good head start i control the finances but we both agreed to live a very modest life we both have our cars from college for example honda and toyota she knows everything about our finances because we go over at least once a month and every time i deposit money in our investment accounts or our kids college funds we have an emergency fund for banking and i budget everything else to go straight into investments we basically stay right at ten thousand dollars in our bank savings account and five hundred dollars in our checking account after bills a few months ago we had dinner with her friends and they talked about buying a new car my wife said something like i wish i could get a new car but i'm always broke after paying the bills we still have our college cars she will talk about if she had money what she would want to buy and it always makes me feel ashamed this i'm broke story has been happening for years when we were driving home i asked her about it she understood we have the money but it's how she feels because her bank account is always low i said i can increase our budget or keep more money in our bank if she wants since we are doing well i'm okay with spending more she said no and the game was happy with our finances i explained that when she says we're broke it makes me look bad and i feel ashamed it's as though i can't provide for the family and or i'm not good with money she doesn't see it that way the same conversation has come up numerous times about us being broke i recently reminded her of multiple times it makes me feel bad in front of friends and family i told her if she keeps saying stuff like that i will reveal that we are doing well with money i gave her a few reminders i'd eventually do this but she kept going with the i'm broke story at dinner with her sister and parents the same i broke story came up i piked in and said it's weird to hear a millionaire say they're broke my wife said ha ha i'm not though and i quickly said we are millionaires and you know that we go over our finances every month well the i'm broke story stopped after that and the night went on as usual a little later the same thing happens with her friends and i use the same line my wife is now angry with me for using that line and revealing how much money we have she said it seems like i'm boasting i say it's better than making me look like i'm running us into the ground financially so am i the idiot for revealing our net worth when my wife says we're broke not the idiot it's very strange that your wife feels the need to constantly downplay and pretend that she's poor what about all the people who are actually struggling it's a peculiar and crappy thing for your wife to do it's good that you called her out on it it's weird but not abnormal it's the same mindset that has people talk about how they work themselves to the bone or brag about how they worked three jobs in college maybe it's an american thing but bragging about how much you've suffered is pretty standard anytime you stop and think about it you realize it shouldn't be normal but it doesn't stop people from doing it everyone's the idiot here bro your wife has 500 in her checking account and drives a beta for all intents and purposes she lives like she's broke throwing out that she has 1 million dollars in your investment account does not make it seem like she's lying it makes it seem like you are a controlling husband everyone's the idiot here paychecks politics prayers the three forbidden dinner conversations it sounds like your wife falls back on the i'm broke line to cover up her insecurities of not keeping up with her social circle and i get that you're not pleased with her comments but having an argument about your finances in mixed company is just kind of classless no one needs to know how much money you make or don't it's weird that you think her comments make you look bad since you both work and it doesn't seem like it's common knowledge that you manage the finances i mean if someone's wife tells me we're broke my first thought isn't oh it must be the husband he's bad with money that i think is your own insecurity opie is taking it that way because they both know that he's the one managing the finances so when she whines about being poor it implies that he's not doing a good job even if it's just between the two of them i don't think opie has really done anything wrong here i 18 female have never had a close relationship with my dad the parents didn't want to have children but a mistake happened i do have his last name but he was never present in my life until last year and i'm currently staying with him my dad has a new wife and i met her last year we don't really like each other now she's pregnant the baby will be born in june around my birthday my name is rosanne and as i've said i have my dad's surname my dad is super excited about this baby which i guess is good but he and his wife want to name the baby roseanne since her favorite flowers are roses i don't like the idea at all it will be my exact name and surname i usually go by roe or rosie but i still dislike the name idea i suggested other similar names the most obvious being rose but they don't like anything my stepmom says that i'm being selfish because i'm jealous of my dad wanting this baby my dad is upset at me and thinks i should be mature and not gatekeeper name i honestly don't know who's in the right here am i the idiot i think i might be because i'm gatekeeping a name not the idiot loki sounds like the stepmom wants to replace you lol your dad would have two daughters named roseanne smith and that's pretty weird even if you have different middle names it would be less weird if it was a cousin but it's your half-sister there's a billion other names they can find another one give the baby the middle name of rose or something instead who names both of their children the same name bizarre and bizarre that the girlfriend wife wants that can you imagine when the kid grows up and people discover her parents name to the same as her older stepsister hahaha may as well call her re-do rosie and have done with it i'm sure she'll be really grateful opie i'm sorry your family are weirdos and i'm sure it feels crappy and i'm sure you have self-worth issues as a result but this is one hundred percent of them problem humans are not replaceable you are not replaceable it's honestly also incredibly irresponsible dad is setting both children up for a lifetime of headaches with the irs credit companies and anyone else who can't tell the two sisters apart on paper i've heard of people finding liens on their homes that don't belong to them debt on their credit report etc all because their names are too similar and the agency who levied them couldn't tell the two people apart it can be a nightmare to get rid of honestly how could this guy think it would come across as anything else than replacing you not the idiot tell them that you give your full support to them using the name then go change your surname and never speak to them again and this is a huge red flag about what's your standing in your dad's view this naming highly suggests he's seeing the baby as his chance to correct the mistakes he made with you she's to be your replacement i honestly think you should start preparing to move out and be independent basically i live in a room above my dad's garage because i got a job as a hospital janitor during the pandemic after i lost my previous one my wife has not been employed throughout my marriage she told me she was uncomfortable living at our apartment with our toddler daughter as a front-line worker because i'd increased their risk during the months i was living away from my wife and daughter to protect them my wife twenties started an affair with a guy in his fifties the guy started giving her pretty significant money gifts and after discovering the affair i saw that nearly all of it was spent on luxury clothes food and other extras for herself we went to a therapist to work out the anger and betrayal over her affair and then i found out that she was pregnant with the other man's kid by this point we hadn't been intimate for around one and a half years and when i moved back in she asked me to sleep in the third bedroom i have realized that i can't stand to be under the same roof with someone who has disrespected me over and over the only reason i'd stayed so long was because of my daughter my wife implied that i would be ruined in the eyes of my daughter if i left i love my daughter and she is my priority but i also can never have ill will towards a child and hold none towards the child of my wives that's coming however this is also real and will become more real soon it is too much for me the affair partner says that he wanted to be dad in the kid's life he said that as a white man i would have no skills to raise a biracial child my wife and i are white and her affair partner is african-american he believes that i'd likely be racist towards him or her my wife has already sheepishly started saying that there would need to be a crib and baby stuff for the baby which i'm guessing is going in the room i'm staying in which means i'd have to move back to sleeping in the same bedroom as my wife my daughter despite being young is far from stupid and my family is freaking out saying there's no way i could say that i'm her half-sibling's father as well but the affair partner says that he wants to be a dad and support the mother and baby to a high standard but his questions about birth certificate logistics and how he's going to tell his grown kids is vague at best but should i be resigned to the fact that i'll probably legally be the child's father anyway the affair partner has been sending my wife money for her pregnancy but would it help my case if i keep track of that so what do i do my wife will not make this easy and i expected to ask for full custody of my toddler and do i have to talk directly to the affair partner i don't think i could handle that get out of that situation it's not good for your daughter separate or divorce and get at least 50 custody if you stay you're teaching your daughter that it's okay to be treated like that that will be her model for future relationships kids pick up on unhappiness never stay together for the kids you are not doing them a favor why are you still calling her your wife she isn't acting like one at all this situation is toxic and you need to stop letting her run the show file for divorce and custody do not move into her bedroom the way this is headed is way worse for your daughter than staying together for her sake she's just trying to avoid herself being ruined by being all too obvious that she was sleeping around while married depending on the state you may or may not be able to file for divorce while she's pregnant for any legal question your jurisdiction matters a lawyer can tell you but if you want our advice first we first need to know where you are you generally do not need to be the child's legal father if you don't want to be still you might have to go through certain legal actions to get her biological parenthood properly acknowledged and yourself off the records my daughter is very mature for her age she's 21 and a junior in college she's in a three plus three program to eventually become a pharmacist she often times loads her schedule with credit hours and getting the most out of her tuition she pays for her schooling on her own with the help of a loan i'm trying to emphasize that she is very mature she typically comes home a weekend or two each month and when she does she almost expects to be treated like a child she wants to play board games she still sleeps with her childhood blanket and a little stuffed bunny she wants to cuddle with her dad or me she wants her sandwiches cut into pieces she'll go outside on the swing set and swing when she was home this past weekend i accidentally fell asleep on the couch recliner after my husband had gone to bed she must have woken up and come down at one point because i woke up to her cuddling up to my side wearing her nightgown and clutching her bunny and blanket her hair was tied up and the way she laid and just how small of a person she is in general just reminded me of her as a kid this is a stark comparison of how she acts when we visit her her roommates claim she's the mom of their group she'll take her dad and me to wine tastings and show us around the city like an adult after this last weekend she was home my husband told me that we need to start treating her and expecting her to act like an adult when she's home maybe it's because he wants to get rid of the swing set and closet full of her board games but i keep telling him to save them because she still uses them and he feels that she should no longer be using them it wasn't necessarily a fight but a scuffle which i ended up winning but he claimed that i'm hurting her by letting her act like this when she's home i see no problem with it given that she acts like an adult in her own life am i the idiot for letting my 21 year old daughter act like a kid when she's home not the idiot she managed to become a fully functional adult outside of your home while still being in touch with her childhood and maintain a good relationship with her parents any parent would trade to be in your position what's the problem here if you're uncomfortable about anything that directly impacts you like the cuddling then you can ask her to stop that in particular i love the cuddling my husband maybe not so much but it makes my heart melt i just worry i'm inhibiting her growth as my husband argued if your husband is uncomfortable with her cuddling him he can have a mature adult conversation with her about it in fact these breaks at home are probably a big part of what allows her to be so focused and mature the rest of the time it certainly beats drinking or any of the other less functional ways adults decompress not the idiot if you didn't describe the background i would say she's likely in need of therapy for some unknown trauma but it sounds like she's overloaded with stress and responsibilities and this is her way of balancing her life it also shows a lot of trust in you at the same time not the idiot if it's not hurting anything then i don't see a problem with it i suppose you could curb some of the issues like let her cut her own sandwiches etc the board game can stay or tell her to take them to her apartment to play whenever if you want the swing set gone then just remove it she'll get over it my completely unscientific opinion is that she regresses when she comes home because she is the mom of the group everywhere else she wants to feel pampered by her [Music] mom

Channel: XO

Views: 108,639

Rating: 4.9065876 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, reddit stories, ask reddit, askreddit, reddit woman, reddit real voice, r/aita, r/mil, reddit infidelity, reddit aita, reddit sister slept with my boyfriend, reddit relationship advice

Id: WQ3sPmC8Hhc

Length: 18min 43sec (1123 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 22 2021