Crooked Cops In GTAV RP

[Music] [Applause] [Music] yeah Louis Thomas anyway the butter lat we all right one was there don't you worry Don yeah I was down sitting weird about last night so Beverly I'll be all right [Music] gonna die throughout the days chasing pays high Tahoe to chop down dark havens our fame the wife something about my age I got plenty time instead of working Elvis I would rather sit inside my room right [ __ ] petty much better than racking up Ramon's gone waste of Moroccan Valley and my brighter fight is daring in despair until it [ __ ] off by the gradient rock with in my cranium snapping Islamic tiniest hated within a radius [Music] thanks man I was wondering yeah you seem like a reputable guy thanks buddy dual wheelie do a wheelie yeah if you come across get on my [ __ ] yoke look at that paramedic over there he's jealous let's go there point the finger at him hey [ __ ] you nerd hey please [ __ ] jabroni oh my god look out look out wet the girls [ __ ] get when we're on this thing all right do you want to take me on the hospital so I can get off duty go buy this [ __ ] yo and then come back strangely yeah you want a rose oh wow look at that [ __ ] okay that's bike right [ __ ] nerd way that thing what is it was that your sister's bike you [ __ ] amateur get the [ __ ] out here is this where the is this where the bikers are yeah yeah give me that bag yo fast no it fell over when we came in yeah did you not stand on it so I can pick it up oh yeah hold on sorry I didn't see it there I'm usually not used to seeing such low-class motorcycles [Laughter] where did he go I got you buddy hold on I got you make sure it has the leopard-print seed that's what makes the ladies froth of the cash nice choice might here we go let's go all right good luck with that [ __ ] loser mobile you get okay was that your grandma's bike I knocked it over again too later nerd hey lady how you doing hey yo what's your sign girl hey hey excuse me do you see the zebra print seat on this it seats too you wanna take a ride little Joyride all right not you [ __ ] loser you're [ __ ] receding hairline get the [ __ ] out of here there's no minimum speed limit here we're still moving speeds all relative dude Einstein proved that with the Theory relativity jalopy what's up nerd what'd your mom dress you you got matching pants and a jacket hey hey is that Molly girl back here hey oh hey how you doing lady doing pretty good look I was just wondering I saw you walking earlier and you're on the wrong side of them I couldn't help but sir I'm parked here oh dear God he's still here sorry I was just on my way to church going to church you're impeding traffic sir you want me to pull over he wants me to pull a hold on I gotta find a safe spot right over here in the parking spot you know you got to find a safe place to pull over that way you don't get ran over on the shoulder of the road you have a license for that moped mister my name's Sam mister mr. Sam mr. Sam yeah well how about you step out of the vehicle all right so tell me and we saw you on the side road and with your vehicle yeah I was having an issue with the blinkers I want to make sure they worked because Safety's first you know I can't I don't want to drive around the city when my blinkers not working and then I got and I discovered that female and she was looking pretty good and I'm not sure if you'd notice but this uh the zebra-print seat it seats too so I was like you know might as well carpool to save the environment you know you don't want to waste gas just driving around a two-seater with one person in it well but when you head back on the roads you drove like 10 like really slow well you know going any faster than that you really start getting diminishing returns in terms of combustion with the fossil fuels and I really I'm just out here to save the environment if you want to save the environment you can just walk right I could I could walk but uh you know I have a I have a couple herniated disks in my back and the vibrations from walking it really irritates my spine so I'm trying to I'm trying to find a middle ground here okay and how about getting yourself a wish or something well you know I also have a rotator cuff injury from when I played minor league baseball back in 1998 and so really a wheelchair is not an acceptable alternative to a faggio and I'm sorry but the seat is everything and I can't get that on a wheelchair I'm sorry sir alright since you bought the fine you can you show us a license for it absolutely hold on here a second sir did you see how thick that lady's asked was did you see the ass on that lady it looked like two [ __ ] hamburgers it was delicious is that your kind of thing yeah I'm sorry sir - the sesame seeds did you see the a sir what did you think of the ass I didn't have a look you were driving but your partner did you see the ass sir sir did you see the ass on the lady which ass would that be the lady on the side of the sidewalk I did not have pay attention to that I just saw your beautiful moped are you guys [ __ ] you didn't see that ass in coldest packets I'm saying if you didn't see that you might be [ __ ] oh we didn't see it so we are [ __ ] huh I guess so it's the only thing in that tunnel worth looking at III think this is a little bit over aggressive considering what I got pulled over for all right you guys don't need to be mad at me because you ignored the ass all right the ass is still over there if you want to go take a look well we are not aggressive okay we just checked because you moved like a slow damn snail okay if you saw the ass you'd be moving slow too or I'm just saying all right now I don't know if you got the woman yeah I was I got look at my [ __ ] moped dude I got mirrors I was checking the ass out with the rearview mirrors can you show me if the blinkers on okay yeah I'm not quite sure why you're holding your hands entirely off but I've seen those Rodney King tapes I'm not taking any chances it doesn't sound good but goddamn it looks good you want to take a ride you want to see what this thing can do no no you know in order to like get the full experience you really got to take a ride on it uh-huh come on hop on the back sir I'm not accepting any charges unless you get on the faggio to get a full experience you're not gonna be able to fill out the police report without the full experience uh-huh I think you're nothing in position to deny charters sir it's I'm just saying it'll look good if when you go up for review and you're gonna get that promotion you know - sergeant mmm this might change everything have you had any luck with the ladies you know I think that girl on the side of the road she was about to you know she was about to cave in before I was rudely interrupted let's not assume anything mr. Sam I mean I'm not assuming I'm just I saw the lust in her eyes you're not attempting to do anything about that are you I mean sir I learned all my pickup moves from Pepe LePew all right I'm not forceful at all oh I I told you this is why I have my hands up it's cuz of Rodney King and there you go my skin is too light for this kind of police brutality sir please refrain yourself from the shouting sir look just because you didn't see the ass it doesn't mean you need to take it out on me okay you live with the bad decisions you make in life you don't go pick up strangers over it I I might have to take a trip down that tunnel back to the hospital healed up mmm I say yeah oh yeah oh and I want I want police escort I want you guys to follow me make sure I make it there and before we get there I want you to see if that girls on the side walk in cuz you need to check out that ass how about you put there your hands down I'm scared now for your defensive mr. Joe will you have a helmet on he punched me in the kidney I didn't have a helmet on my kidney I clearly saw you hit you in the on the helmet you give me in the kidney sir I don't think you're in any position to be saying what did or did not happen because from my perspective you're sitting in the passenger seat with tinted windows with a pair of sunglasses on facing the opposite [ __ ] direction sir are you alright huh yes I am oh well you know I'm not gonna lie to you uh you know we were talking and everything and then your face just went blank and you stood there for about three minutes all right did ya did you have a stroke no no sir your eyes look like they're kind of dilated are you sure you're not having a stroke I'm pretty sure yes I mean you know when I said I wanted you guys to follow me to the hospital after you catch me in the spleen mm-hmm to make sure I got there I think you need to also follow me to get yourself checked up because I think you just had a embolism I know you're a public servant and everything but I think it's my duty as a citizen to make sure you don't get back in this car and drive I think you need to get on my faggio and then we need to go down to the hospital make sure you're you're okay mm-hmm and furthermore while we're at it we'll check out that fat ass on that Sidewalk you know what I'm saying I don't say guy got time for checking ass you know okay now I definitely know you had a stroke because the real man would say I absolutely can make time for that ass I already got something going you know your partner is dying and he doesn't know it he had a stroke on enough sir he's all right no he he sat there for like four minutes staring off into space he wouldn't respond to me yeah he's sir he's dying he needs to go to the hospital no this is for your own safety sir get back here he's gonna die okay stop the [ __ ] car the vehicle you need to go lost trying to say yeah what have you done to my legs have a good day sir what have you done to my legs I'm just gonna sit here and think about [ __ ] life you know I'm gonna do when I get back I'm gonna beat the [ __ ] out of those [ __ ] [ __ ] oh my dear lord help me help me my legs they ran over my [ __ ] legs oh it hurts oh alright so bad just eggs I'll give you a painkiller right away or you better know it feels a little bit better but the inner anguish I still worry I'll get you to hospital right away just calm down it's still severe emotional damage that'll never be repaired do you know who did this I don't know I just came here I'll tell you who did this the [ __ ] police ran me over this is reported that to some higher higher authority in police here we go sir this is the most unprofessional series of events I've ever seen in my life first the police I shouldn't I shouldn't ever moved here it was not my fault sir I'm really sorry I don't know how you jumped from my cross Punjab if I can forgot to lock the back door I'm [ __ ] sorry sir oh my god this is the worst day of my life oh my god anyways you'll be fine my spine looks like a pretzel now you bend it all out of shape how am I supposed to play catch with my son Oh slowly slowly I don't want to live anymore just euthanize me please oh my gosh stuffy they're gonna die in Realist you out of character no what the hell is happening what Joseph but please stop on my head this man's a madman he just keeps injuring me and healing me up and doing it again it's like the Spanish Inquisition okay can you walk me there weird like 10 feet away from the door can just walk me over there I cannot do that differently I could you so I was doing as slow as possible I mean yeah until I flew out of the back a [ __ ] 80 miles per hour did someone else drive you let's mother medic guy can you drive for a second please Joey Joey come here come here Joey cannon he's getting a clich where I everybody's [ __ ] insane mad man why is he a medic he gets pleasure out of [ __ ] destroying my spine hey you know nothing interrupt or anything but I need a police officer to talk to I have a very serious grievance I need to talk to you about mr. Joe was brown shoe what are you doing we met before yeah how you doing how can I help you yeah I have two officers I would like to submit a complaint about they ran me over and broke my [ __ ] legs I am sure that's really not what happened so that is exactly what happened you threw yourself onto the car sir I didn't I was trying to help out officer Mikhailov mr. brown shoe I have a recording of your area director are you IDI I got some nuts in my mouth yeah what kind of nuts nuts II got catch you I cashews are the best nuts I like restful day and I of course it's been a stressful day a long day of running over people's [ __ ] legs did I just hear snicker wish to make a formal complaint eating a Snickers I am eating a Snickers I would love to make a formal complaint sir Jonah brown sugar just wanted to make you aware of that if you make in a formal count a report we will have to do the same to you what how does that make sense you got to make a report to me because you ran over my [ __ ] legs the way your nice name is brown shoe yeah you're wearing brown pants what the [ __ ] is wrong with you do you know about the moose God get hurt don't tell me this out of here your last name's brown shoe and you're wearing brown pants I don't have brown shoes I think you might have thrown yourself out of that police car I didn't know I was trying to help the officer I was trying to I was trying to help out the officer that had a stroke I you know what enjoy enjoy your mouth full of nuts officer I'm gonna go out here wait no I'm here I need you here for what sir I want to make a complaint yeah he needs what's the completely false advertising his last name's brown shoe and he's wearing brown pants sir what's your occupation my I deliver drugs you're not a carpenter and yet your last name is carpenter all right so you want to talk about false advertising excuse me I am a carpenter you just told me you delivered Ron I'm about to wiggle wiggle your little twig legs into a [ __ ] toothpick these leg even you can't even hey you can't even Whittle these [ __ ] legs they're apart titanium I had to get [ __ ] plates put in them after what this [ __ ] did in my [ __ ] let's do this stretch them stretch your little chicken legs like that alright my two very good friends let's just calm down and hey we're having a conversation over here go put go put some more nuts in your mouth sir so can you pay for my medical bills or a mr. Carter oh my god finally someone with reason I can talk to alright let's step over here hold on oh no his name is brown shoe and he's not wearing brown shoes before you take into account anything he says that is all yeah but your last name is carpenter and I don't see you over there [ __ ] spin in any wood okay oh I want you to count down I want that man away from me okay okay the issue is two of your officers Demetri Mikhailov and Paul Carter ran over my [ __ ] legs and then after they ran me over they looked at me outside their window said sorry and kept driving and I had to lay there in the street with shattered legs and honestly I'm not going to lie to you severe emotional damage until the ambulance showed up and then and then I got taken in and fixed up I totally understand Oh talk to them since I'm their sprayer the man might have some serious like emotional damage might have some cognitive issues after having this stroke I think you had a stroke you have one officer on duty right now I think he's out there roaming the streets with a fucked-up brain that guy just left the server he [ __ ] left hey hey does anybody can anybody help me here this place is a [ __ ] madhouse you're not help all you're doing is eating [ __ ] cashews this place sucks yeah that [ __ ] that did you have I don't know how you recorded it probably with your phone or something but I have Google glass the Google glasses okay do you see him sweating over here you see this guy this is him he's sweating right now he knows I got the footage look at him I'm sweating sir I had my glasses on in my helmet yeah all right sir you and I both know your [ __ ] career is almost over Carter brought you uh you better start you better start counting those checks all right because you only have about two paychecks left before you're in the [ __ ] can you hear me I'm coming after you and mr. Mikhailov I think they just kicked me I think I'm banned that sucks [Music] [Applause] [Music] we disperse you even have my boys

Channel: General Sam

Views: 810,586

Rating: 4.9601622 out of 5

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Id: rHKwFVPY9Z4

Length: 22min 35sec (1355 seconds)

Published: Wed May 31 2017