Critical Role: Sick Day | Creating Our Characters with Baldur's Gate 3!

(intense music) (text tone pops) (alarm) (glass smash) (choir) (light tavern music) (hinge creak) (tavern music swells) Oh, it's-- (speaking indistinct) It's just us, it's just us. Hi! But what do we do? Hi. Who says hello? No, I said hi. And you could say-- Hello, hello, what, where do we look? Are you pretending like you have to introduce yourselves to the people who are watching? Well, this is-- No way! Still a show. No way! It's a sick day, it's all anarchy. There's no, there's, nobody's in charge. (laughs) They left us alone in PJs. I'm, that's, do I demean myself, it's, hey there guys-- Oh-- Yes, yeah! (clapping hands) Nice. Yeah! There we are, oh, it's all I have. It's good. Yeah. God, oh, that felt weird. No, please, keep going. (speaking indistinct) No, that's all I got, that. Oh, guys! What are doing, who are we, and why are we here, Taliesin? We're just people, and we're here because apparently no one else could bother to be here 'cause they're feeling "weird," upset, and maybe there's, you know-- Stuff coming out of them. There's some sickness. Stuff coming out from, you know, various-- One or two things-- Yes. Several have the flu, let's say. Several have, I think Liam has Pica. Mm. (laughs) You know what Pica is? TALIESIN: It's before you get Pikachu, it's one before. No, it's an actual disease where you crave, you want to eat non-food items. (laughing) No, I've never, what? It's a real thing. (laughing) I thought that was the thing that the mosquitoes gave you. (laughing) No, that's Zika. Zika. That's Zima. That's Zima! (laughing) I'm pretty sure that's not-- We're going to name diseases for the next two hours. Guys. Enjoy. Thanks for spending your time with us, it is a sick day. Yeah. Obviously, we don't go live very often anymore, but we wanted to do it this time, because every once in a while, sometimes we shoot far in advance, sometimes we shoot the week of, or the day before, and every once in a while, a bunch of people get sick. Uh-huh? (laughs) So we do this! Yeah. The fact that it's us four-- Mm. That's how I know everyone is sick, because the ones to be trusted to do a livestream is us. It's really bad, (laughing) the rest of this. That's feels like a poor choice. Yeah, for sure. Aw, no. Plus, we had to, we had to trade up, and that's why you're here. Yeah. Trade up? (laughs) Well-- Handsome. (laughs) Aw! I think it was going to be me, Travis, and Taliesin, and then somebody, somebody high up in the organization was, this won't do. No, this is-- (indistinct) (laughing) I got someone behind the camera on my side. We need someone with actual star power. We need "an adult" also is very-- We need a ringer, get me Daymond. (laughing) Okay, don't laugh that hard at it. Ah! (laughing) So, what are we doing today? It's us. Yeah, so-- (indistinct) It's a hangout. Yeah. We're sitting in jammies, some of us are in comfy jams, some of us are in bathrobes. That's right. Oh my, I'm so-- You don't know what's under here. I'm danger close. Oh, oh, oh, oh, it's shadowed. It's, I feel, I need a Geiger counter (laughs) for like a level to-- I have, I put in $10 worth of guesses for what's under there. Okay. And suddenly, I want to be closer to the ground with you guys. Well, and-- No, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. (laughs) So, we got three dads, and a ghost dad-- We do. And we have not had a chance to play "Baldur's Gate." Has anybody actually played it it? I've never touched it. I don't have a machine that can run it, so I just-- I got my hands on a Steam Deck over the holiday break, I knocked out a kid, and then took it for-- Sure, sure. 20 minutes until they came to. But this thing's sweeped The Game Awards. Yeah. Everybody loves it, it's on my list to play when I want to ruin my life, because it can take-- Uh-huh? Because it takes like 200 hours to a hundred percent. Vortex. Yeah, yeah, I can't do that just yet, but I'm excited to play it. SAM: But we're not going to play it. Well, we're-- Oh, cool, cool, I'm so excited now! We're only going to create-- It's the video game equivalent of just eating the frosting in the cookie. Yeah. Yeah. We're just going to create characters. The best part. Yeah. And what we were told to try to do tonight-- (laughing) Your pink beanie. (laughing) I love it. I'm cozy. Here, I'll-- (indistinct) It's actually kind of hot in here. (laughs) What we were told to try to do tonight is-- Ah. Is do character creation. Yeah. And try to make our Campaign Three, or in Robbie's case, his only campaign-- Yeah. Characters-- (laughing) Yeah, and I have-- In "Baldur's Gate 3," (laughing) Campaign Three, "Baldur's Gate 3," we're going to recreate-- I know what this-- Chetney-- Yeah, yeah. Fresh Cut Grass, whatever your character is. (laughing) And Dorian. (laughing) Although it's not Dorian, the real name. That's, oh, hey, the spoiler alerts-- Whoa. If you're still catching up on "Vox Machina." Oh, oh, sorry, sorry-- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. (laughing) King is his real name. Mm, mm, mm. That's right, so who should, how should we decide who goes first in character creation? It's also why this will not take six hours is because, unlike my wife-- My wife. You can actually land on-- It is. Yeah, she can be, it's like hibernation when she's dong character creation. Should we go by order of difficulty, maybe? Oh. Because we got to get used to using it, I feel like-- Sam's the hardest. I feel like Chet would be maybe the easiest? Yeah! (laugh) Yeah, I think Chet's-- I think it's-- Oh yeah. Yeah. I think it's Sam, me, you, and then Travis. I'm the hardest? Okay, let's do that. Oh my god. Yeah, for sure, we'll save-- Yeah, you're-- (indistinct) Fresh Cut Grass for-- (speaking indistinct) Last. Oh, they're saying, sorry, just to prove that we're live-- Oh, yes, we are live. Oh, what do we got to do to prove that we're live? They said, you should roll for it! Oh. Roll it? And then someone said, this is so sad. (laughing) You are not wrong! What's sad about it? Bunch of grown men playing "Baldur's?" It's getting pretty great for us. You know, before-- Yeah. Before we had a real deal, this is what Saturday night was. (laughing) That's my favorite kind of company. This is like a life simulator or something, so. Oh my god. Wait, I'm up first? No, no, no. No, no, Sam's up first. Sam's up first. Okay, yeah. Oh, I'm up first, okay. I thought it was opposite-- I'm up first? I thought it was the opposite's first. Me too. But I'll do whatever. Well, we can do, oh, actually, yeah, no, maybe that makes more sense. You want me to go first, okay. Yeah, should we roll for it to prove? Oh my god. We don't have any dice around. (laughing) The very fact we're saying we're not going to roll for it is proof that we're live. You know what? They're right, this is sad. (laughing) Get off chat! You got it, you got it. I'm having fun! (laughing) I know-- I'm not here all the time, so this is fun for me, at least. Ah! Hey! What are these? (sniffs) Are we just doing it? No, let's go with-- You're going to ignore that fly-in? We're going to skip the roll, and just go for it. (laughing) I'm just going roll for it. To make a point-- Yeah, I was going to say. And do that. How about we roll to see who goes second? Because he's going first. Okay. All right, all right, all right. What, highest or lowest goes second? I don't know. I don't know either. (laughs) Here, you go first. All right, highest-- Highest, highest goes first, Second. Second. (laughs) Oh, dang! What'd I get? 13. 13. Okay. Huh! D'yah! (laughs) That's a nat one, baby! 17, you're going next, okay. 17. Okay, okay. All right. So, you're next, and then me then Robbie. Oh, I got a-- Okay. I got a wood elf. Aw, a tiefling, okay. Drow, whoa. That's got a solid vibe. What was that body expression? Aw! Wait. Oh yeah! That's-- I'm here in the morning, oh! Bad posture, and he's trying to-- So, every time you click a new dude, they-- I think they have a pose, oh! Yeah! (laughing) You're good. Sorry. That's good. And then get the-- What do they do? Oh, oh, oh, no. Look at the hair on-- Oh, introspective. Dwarf, okay, we're getting closer to Chet. Unless I just make Chetney totally-- Stacked. Fuckable, and six feet tall. Yo, and there's nothing-- Yeah. You could! There's nothing that says we have to make these accurate. You're right. Yeah, yeah-- We got-- We can do whatever we want. I still think short, but definitely fuckable. You know, (laughing) and that one's getting close. That's super accurate. These are not these, yeah, these are-- I think I'm going to start with, no, no, halfling? Wait, what are you in the game? I was-- I'm a-- You're a gnome, right? I'm a gnome, yes. Okay, so, gnome makes sense. Okay. Oh, I don't need racial speeds, I'm going to go over here. It's a custom, okay, good. (mmhmms) Body type. Two. One. Mm. Are we doing this right so far? Yeah, no, yeah. Totally, two. Okay. Look at those fingies. Wait, there's only two body types, one or two? Oh, there's a non-binary, there's male, there's female-- Oh, that's cool. There's other. There's options. Randomize, okay, good, we're in custom, race. Rock gnome. Wait, no, no, no, we're just-- No, no, no, no, no. We're just doing faces and stuff, aren't we? Yeah, yeah, but then we got to-- We got to have a jumping off point! Yeah, you got to-- Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you got to-- No. What is that, go back one. Deep. Deep, that's a deep gnome. Word. (laughing) Deep cut. Word, I love it. Oh, wow. Wait, that is a vibe, actually. I want rock gnome. And I'm going to go-- Yeah. Rogue, yep, and I'm a little roguey. And charlatan. Hi chat, has been a while. It has been a while. ROBBIE: Are you talking to chat right now? TRAVIS: I don't think this changes-- Oh, I think you chose a she/her for your-- I did? Pronouns, which is fine. It's fine. There's nothing wrong with that, I'm just saying, yep, you did. Thank you. Just checking. You know, we're just keeping each other on our toes. Yeah, dude, you know, hit your vibe, an, hit your vibe. Okay. So far, boy-- Here. I can definitely see Chetney's self-esteem is definitely-- Got my Dex down, take my Constitution down. Ah, I'm going to-- Why are we doing this madness? Intelligence this way. I'm going to read a question from chat. Yes, please. Yeah. Besides your own character, who's your favorite character in Campaign Three? They're trying to turn us against each other right out of the gate. I know. I see what's happening here. That's not fair. Favorite, favorite? I want to, wait, we're supposed to use this? There's an eye patch. It's a blank white screen-- All right, I'll use it! I'll refresh. Ding. And that's me. Oh, we don't know what we're doing, Dani. Stop hollering at us. It says, 404, not found. They all know that you're here. Hanging out! Who's your favorite character besides your own, Taliesin? There's something-- I mean, ooh, oh, I mean-- Ah. And you know what? Just because, and Laudna is almost cheating, I'm going to say Fearne, I mean-- ROBBIE: And that's great, and that's great. I kind of like everybody, but-- ROBBIE: Yeah. I do like everybody. And we're different-- Look at these. You know what? I feel like I got to get, I got, oh, here we go, maturity, so let's send him up. Prefer the chaos. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so now he's what, 30? Now he's 31. Yeah, he aged 30 days. Now he's 32. (laughs) Let's some hair, where's the hair? Hair color. He's making eye contact now. Hair color. Oh. Oh, I would, I'm going to say that Chetney is my favorite non-me character. That's fair. Here we go. Here we go, now we're cooking with gas. TALIESIN: Robbie, do you have a opinion on-- Aw, no! Do you remember any of our characters? Don't make me choose between the founders. (laughs) DANI: You have to refresh it. Oh, okay. Ah, I don't know, I'm going to choose-- I'm going-- Yeah, get a bit-- Best idea, oh, I think I can-- Oh, oh, oh, don't look up there. I mean, you know. Ah. I'm going to choose an NPC, that's what I'm going to-- Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Oh. From early. Did he ever come back? I don't want to know what Dorian knows, so I'm not savvy to what you all are up to. TRAVIS: Oh, no? Who was that little owl creep early on that would crawl around? Matt did a really cool voice for him, and his head turned over-- An owl creep? Wasn't it an owl type character? What, do you mean Ira? Is it-- No, not Ira, Ira was bad. Yeah, but I-- This was someone's friend that lived up in a nest. Oh, we don't know him, Ira, oh-- And crawled-- Effid. What was it? Effid the Fallen. Okay. Effid the Fallen. Effid the Fallen? That a really minor-- Oh, oh! DANI: That was Ashton's character-- Yeah, it's one of Ashton's roommates. They never came back? We never-- We haven't gotten back to the, we've barely been back to that apartment. So, Matt comes up with these NPCs-- Oh, I love that hair. And then they show up once, and maybe disappear-- Oh, yeah, that one. Well, that was my favorite, so, and that performance was crazy. Maybe it was Matt! Okay. Whoa! Ooh, ooh! Ooh! Whoa! You hear me, bring him back, baby, send him to the moon! Whoa! (laughs) Oh! (laughing) Yeah, yeah. There you go-- Chetney, he's getting some, serving some looks. Now, if this-- This is a vibe. This is a fantasy role-playing game where everybody's sexy, or sexable, Do you think they have any balding (laughs) hair plates? Yeah! Yeah. Bald is beautiful. This is all full heads of hair. ASHLEY M.: You will have to refresh this. Oh, thank you. Oh, oh, okay. I don't mind refreshing. No, it's fun. It's refreshing. Okay, okay. I guess I got the small one. Now we get. Oh. Oh. Oh! Tidyhawk, that's pretty good. Now, that's how we'll-- So, wait, Chetney's mostly bald, he's just got a-- He's mostly bald, maybe I'll go all the way to the left, and see what-- Yeah, you also, if you find, wait, yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-- Aw. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, I got it. A little more. Oh. Oh, a little less. A little less, a little less. Aha. Yeah, bald, or that's it. I'm going, I'm going. You could also hit the A, I think, and get an open menu. Oh really? Yeah. Yeah. Aw! Oh yeah. That was lazy. Thank you, Taliesin. You're welcome, this- Oh, what's that, what's that? (laughing) All right! He's going to get a hat, wait! Oh, hey, hey! Oh! Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Yeah, what's that called? That's great, that's called-- Kwahom? Kwahom. Mm, okay. Kwahom. Oh yeah. That's great, yeah. That's-- I bow to that. Another chat question for the group. Will we see more of Robbie's character in Campaign Three? Boy, we-- No! Oh, wait. (laughing) We don't know, we don't know, well- I only come-- Robbie might know. For the saddest streams, that's all. (laughing) TALIESIN: There's been some sad streams-- That's right. (claps hand) TALIESIN: Since you've been gone, but yeah. (laughing) Oh no! I don't, we don't know, because we're not Matt Mercer or Robbie Daymond. Has Matt called you and said, hey man, next Thursday, be ready? (laughing) But not explain for what? Yeah. (laughing) Oh. He's, you're getting tired of these guys. And you got to-- Matt has not killed me off-screen yet. So. That's all I know. (laughs) And-- Okay. We haven't seen a blue body floating down the Ozmit Sea or anything-- I don't think-- So. I mean, if there was a body, it would probably be blue by then, oh, just from-- This is not how I picture Chetney at all. I turn my head for one second, and this is what we came back. (laughing) I don't know. Look! (laughs) I'm having a ball! Oh no, no, no. Oh. Oh. TRAVIS: All right, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine. Coming out. Yeah, Matt doesn't tell us anything, and does a really good job of surprising us. I sure hope he does come back. I demand it. Because yours, he was-- Oh, amazing. From this campaign, Robbie-- TRAVIS: Yeah, you got to get some ears. You were top 10 guest characters. Top 10? Top 10 easily. Oh man. Easily. Your kindness knows no bounds, Sam, I-- (laughs) No, it is kind of like the high school friend who got out of town (smooches) and then when-- Whoa. When he finally comes back, we're just all going to be a clusterfuck. Yup. And so. Whoa. Wow. What, are you the ones that stayed in town? Yes. Or are you-- You got to-- Yeah, yeah, yeah-- It's been-- Whoa. It's reverse high school. You guys look terrible. The chat is loving hot goth Chetney, by the way. Yeah. Genitals. Oh, we're-- Hold on, wait, wait, wait-- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, okay, okay, I just! No! But no, no, not yet, not yet, not yet, not yet, no, not yet, no we're not ready! We're good, we're good, we're not ready. Just-- We're not ready, we're not ready, we're not ready! In total silence-- Oh man. Can you say genitals the way you just said it again, oh, like you just did? Genitals. Nah, no, no, no, no, no-- (laughing) Say, it was way sexier. (laughing) Genitals. Yeah, really. I just got to pick a face, and then I think I'm-- And you're going straight from face to genitals? (laughs) (laughing) What else? You know Travis' style. It's a popular build, what can we say? Yeah. Okay. It's how he got Laura. What is the space-- (laughing) What is the space between-- Oh, whoa! Yeah. Oh. Oh! Oh! Oh no, no, no, no. Eh. Eh. Eh. Ugh! I'll use this one. Or is it-- Oh, yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah! This guy, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's kind of like, yeah. Oh, he's got-- (laughs) Okay. That's what I think it would-- Do the voice, and see if it feels right. Yeah. Oh! (laughs) Okay, maybe. I got to get this tattoo removed, hold on. (laughing) ROBBIE: That's what he sounds like now? Yeah! Wait. I think since we first-- (shrieking) It's been heavy, since Parish, it's been very heavy. I think Chetney's voice has been modulating a quarter tone up-- Listen! Every month (laughing) since the campaign's time. You don't fucking know me. TALIESIN: You'll find out in the genital build, really. Yeah, yeah, right? Borian! (laughing) Borian? Let's see. Shots fired. Whoa! Whoa. Now you're savage! Here's another question for the group. When you guys make a new character, what's your process when developing the character's backstory, personality traits, et cetera? Ooh. Oh boy. But I don't know. Do you, where do you start, what's your starting point? You start with a playlist or something. I'm a big fan of a playlist, and I kind of, or I try and find a chunk of my reality, or youthful reality where I'm, I'd like to explore that in a fantasy world of those issues-- Hmm. And then I'll build from there, and make some music, I'd love a playlist. Playlist is cool. And then-- Yeah, and then just kind of come up with a where do they come from, What happened to them, and what do they know, I'm a big fan of, I try not to write anything-- You don't know. I wouldn't know. Wow. Fuck. What? Wait, wait, wait, what? He's hovering over genitals. We're up there, we're just hovering over the option. We're just hovering over the genitals. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Scroll down one. Hold. Now hold. Okay. We're cleared for genitals in three, two, one! So what you're saying... (all laughing) That's so much pube. That is instant in pube. Oh my god. That's like the landing strip for a C17. I'm flashing back to my grandpa. That just goes straight up. This is okay to show, right? Last night, no. No, no, no, no, let it go, man. You're not gonna get that. The pubes is like, it's like a rectangle of pubes. That's not a bush, it's a garden. That's like one polygon right there. Oh my god. Should I go left or right? We're gonna go left. Oh, man. TALIESIN: Oh, you're kind of leaning left a little bit. Oh, okay. Does this change what the genitals are or how they look? TALIESIN: It's like compass, they start to point north. Can you zoom in? Zoom in. Whoa! We've got vulva. We've got vulva. It's gone very Russ Meyers. All right. What? Zoom in. ROBBIE: I can't believe that's real. Gotta look at the face. We are mature adults. There's no genitals now. Yeah, that's, oh yeah. No, no, no. They're buried in there. We're blind because we're old. It's hard to see. (laughing) The wiggle. SAM: The physics. TALIESIN: The physics engine is a lot. Imagine that. I can't see. We're putting Larian to the test. I'm just gonna act out what we're seeing. We're putting Larian to the-- Oh, there we go. This is more HBO than I've watched in a very long time. This is getting, whoa, what? That poor programmer in there. Somewhere in the titles it says-- It's getting a little smaller. Jiggle physics. I count is as a boy, only have four erections left. (laughing) He's a grower, not a shower. Look at his fingertips are lower. (laughing) Oh. His fingers. That's only like one dick. His fingers are three times the length of his dick right now. Wow. This character creation is brought to you by this Chetney hoodie that I'm wearing, it's really comfortable. Get off of this. No, don't, stay. No, get off. Pick one. The people can't see what we're seeing. All right. Okay, here, I'll put clothes back on, okay. Okay. Did you pick one though? I did. Okay. I mean, I didn't really pick it by choice, it just left it there. I think it's fine. I think I can change it here and it won't matter. There we go. We're just changing penises. Appreciate it. It's mystery genitals. This is kind of it. I think this is, I think that's all I got, appearance. Yeah. Little scarring. Can he be older? Can you change his expression or anything? No. He's max old. Oh, yeah. If I was a different, I think I could change if there was a different build, but. Oh, that's a good point, chat. Maybe because we can't put it on Twitch, but we could take a picture of the wang and tweet it. (laughing) You could take a picture of the Johnson and Johnson. Ah, man. Will that get me banned on Twitter? Could could call-- I like that. It's so Emma Thompson. Do you wanna take my dick pic? Everybody clear for genitals in-- I'll take a dick pic. Three, two, one, clear for genitals. (laughing) That is a-- Oh wait, I missed it. That is a tight margin of error. Okay, I got something. You do TikTok, you can actually make a little video of it. Wait, am I allowed to put that on like Instagram and stuff, or no? Well, it depends. I'm gonna get banned. You might. I don't know. Questionable. What's life without a little spice? That's true. Okay, so that's-- That's Chetney's pocketbook. I wish I could make him older. That's kind of it, I think. Can you change his clothes or is that based on the class? You gotta play the game to, yeah. I think that's right, put, close it back. Maybe if I, if there's a, let's say he, what if he was like super hot? What if I-- Oh, wouldn't you have to start all over again? I don't think so, let's see what happens. Oh, maze. Oh, it's based on class. But also like you've reset all of his like-- Have I? Hair and stuff, have you? No, stares just weird. No. But his hair's gone. Oh, it has reset. Everything reset? Reset his genitals. Did you just lose all your work? Well, now you look like-- Now it's just somebody else's turn. It looks like virgin Bell at this point. Oh, cool. If you go back to the gnome, it'll come back. Oh, okay. Yeah, you started-- Can we change his-- Oh, there he is. We changed his class so that it's a little closer to Chet. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. Can you go regular-- See what else there is. Sorcerer, warlock, wizard. Is there a blood on there? No, there won't be, but there'll be like a-- He has a robe, yeah. Like just a fighter. There's a bow and arrow. Yeah, I feel arch, what's that? What's that? Something. Yeah. A big ass chisel. Oh, what is that? Uh-oh. (imitating laser buzzing) I don't know about that. No, no, too-- Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Ash, I need a genital window. A dick window? Stand by! I'm gonna do it faster than you can get here. Sling it. Stand by for genitals in three, two, one, clear for genital. (laughing) This is what I want. Oh, I did it. (laughing) That's the one, though. That is the one. Wait, you're seeing if the genitals change if you change the class? I was hoping hoping, yeah, I was wanting the class animation, but in the buck. Oh. Oh. That's all right, we're good. That would've been cool. Genitals are off. Stand by. You can't get everything that you want. I guess not, Larian, next time. I've never played this game, so you can get all freaky deaky in the game? I assume so. Ooh. I think you can bang a bear. That's the word. I remember- That's the word on the street. About banging a bear. Yeah. That's the best Chetney I got, that's it. That's pretty great. That stuff's pretty great. Round of applause for Chet. Yay. Yeah, Chetney. Let's move on. Oh my god. I'm not, no. I laughed so hard my eyes watered, holy shit. For Robbie, here's the question for Robbie. Oh, okay. How did it feel when you responded to the stone message from Orym? Oh. Yeah, that was... The answer's always the same and I hope it's still interesting. Whenever you guys ask me to do something, I will-- It's hard. Look at what's happening right now. Yeah, yeah. I'll always say yes. Yeah, so Matt just asked me to write the message and I had to learn the rules and it was 25 characters, so I just did, I actually did like 10 different takes. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, really? And of two different messages, like five each and sent them in. Really? And I said, "Matt, pick, and I think these ones are funny." This brings up a totally unrelated question and one that might be boring to the audience, but as voice actors, oftentimes we are called on to audition for roles from home. How do you, Robbie, are you a 10-take guy? Like when you get an audition, do you record a bunch of takes and then edit and painstakingly comb through and find the best of the best and redo it, or are you just a one-and-done guy? This is so behind the veil. I know, but I want to know. I used to be like a three-take guy and I would cull 'em together and edit. Now I don't give a shit. Yeah. Oh man, it's gonna sound so truthful. (laughing) It's 100% based on how interested I am in doing it. Uh-huh. So for the audition. So if it's something I really, really want, I will do a bunch of takes and edit them together so I get all the best ones, but if it's something that I think I can do in one shot or that I'm good for, or if it's like a commercial or something and it's like kind of a pat kind of read-- Sure. I'll just one and done it. Just one and done. Yeah. Like do you edit out your breaths, or are you just like-- Yeah, I make it sound clean. I think the closest you can come to sounding broadcast-ready in your auditions is usually the best, but I don't edit voices. I don't edit it for characters, I don't take out the breaths and stuff unless it's, I'm like (gasping) it's like egregious, but I think that's natural, it's part of the-- Oh, what about you, Travis Willingham? I remember those A, B, C days and it was like you would do, you would get a take that you like and then you're like, "Oh, I gotta show 'em I have range." So you do a second one and then you're like, "But if I really have range, there's a C take as well." And then you're just like getting further away from what you would actually do. Yeah. So now it's usually just one unless the description is so vague that in your head you're like, "I mean, I could go this way or I could go that way." And then you send two, but it's usually just one. Smart. Yeah, people that do multiples, I think you're like, "Eh." Yeah, I think like you sit in there and you go with your instinct and you go with your instinct 'cause if you're going in and going like, "This is not what I thought I'd be doing," you're gonna be weird and awkward about it anyway. Yeah. 17 years later, I still cringe when they play it back for me when I book the gig. Sure. We'll play your audition back for reference, like, "No, no, no, no, no!" No, no, no, no, no, no! (laughing) Robbie Daymond. Yeah. (laughing) And I have a nice lady who does my-- Oh yeah, yeah. And if I'm playing a sexy character, she has a bunch of takes, I'll use the sexy take, so she's like-- You choose? Robbie Daymond. Oh! And I'm like, "Yeah, sure is." You choose? I always thought that your agency put that slate. So for the people who are lost, at the beginning of a voiceover audition-- Is where we're at. You hear a slate, which is just like Robbie Daymond, and then you hear the audition. And some agencies, like mine, I just slate myself. I say, "This is Sam Riegel," and then I go. But for Robbie, it's a woman's voice that says "Robbie Daymond." Well, I have a nice, a different nice professional voiceover lady do it for me usually like every year or two, so it was like-- You refresh them. Oh! Yeah, I gotta mix it up, baby. It was Lindbeck for a while. Oh. I think now it's Melanie Minichino. This is a cool, I'm gonna do that. Will you do mine? What? Will you do Sam Riegel? Yeah, but I get to do it however I want. That's fine with me. Sam Riegel. (laughing) That's it. That's gonna be the one. Sam Riegel. (laughing) Ooh, that's a good one too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's gotta be, yeah. Ooh, he's handsome. I don't know. I love this. My agency tried to do that to me. They're like, "It's branded for our agency." But it was like, this was years ago, it's not the same person who's there anymore, but it was who ran the internal booth and it was like, Robbie Daymond. (laughing) Like, no, no, no, no, no. I'm gonna bring in a ringer. (laughing) Robbie Daymond. Question for Taliesin. Yeah. From the chat, the live chat. The live chat. Prove it's live. TRAVIS: You didn't know I was gonna walk around the couch. About as close as I can be. Well, that's live. I'm gonna prove it's live because someone just said, "Please make Mollymauk instead." All right, well... (laughing) We've talked about this, chat. We've talked about this so many times. I love the chat vibe right now. And you're just never gonna get the... Well, no, I mean, if we have time. I mostly, like at the moment, I just wanna see like if this is possible. The approved question from that-- That's fun, though, I'm into it. What would Ashton think of Caduceus? Ah. Ah... Ah ah ah ah! It's a good question, actually, 'cause Ashton might hate him. Well, I don't think he'd hate him. I think he would think he's a bit of a dope. TRAVIS: Hi, chat. Yeah, the best I can think of is, it is like the TV show, "The Young Ones," where they had the punk and the hippie were two of the roommates in there and-- Oh, that could be a fun pairing then. Yeah, I think it would be an interesting thing. Hippies and punks don't necessarily always, you know, it's not the best, the most famous of proper realities, but yeah. I wonder if actually, if Caduceus wouldn't at some point be like, "Someone take this child away." (laughing) Wow, there's so many questions. How are you guys looking at just-- That's a good question, though, I gotta think about that. I'm on this, but I also have this, you can grab this, Robbie. Somebody called me Dad. What? These are like approved questions, well, not approved, but like, these are the questions that Dani off screen is pulling out of chat because they're actually like awesome questions. Not to say that all of chat's questions aren't awesome. It's a bust, Sam. No, I'm just saying like, these are like really good questions that you're pulling and some of these are questions that we just can't answer, like what's the update on Vox Machina Season 3? Wow, we-- I don't know. TRAVIS: I mean, we do, but we can't say. Oh yeah, that's true. I know. (laughing) That's so like you. This is a good question. I'm gonna pull this one out of chat. Yeah. What animal could you beat in a fight? Oh, this is a good question! All of 'em. This is an important question. All of them. Yeah. Arm me properly. So, I read something that like people vastly overestimate-- That's true. What they can defeat, right? Yeah. Vastly overestimate a lot of things. Could you beat a German Shepherd? One. One? How old? How old? Trained or a street dog? Not like a Malamute, or not like, street German Shepherd. Domesticated, spoiled German Shepherd. Do I see it coming? Yes. In my sleep, I'll murder that dog. I've actually thought about this, not specifically about German Shepherds, but like, what if a dog attacks me? I don't know what to do. What do you do? Do you just protect your face? Do you punch it? You attack back and strangle the life out of it. I just read, I saw one video-- You got thumbs. But never hurt animals unless they're trying to hurt you, chat. Yeah. Ever, ever. I saw one video where the guy said the best way to get an attacking dog off you is to stick your finger up its butt. (laughing) No off you, off another-- That's sharks. That's how to get to sharks. Two dogs fighting each other. You do that to sharks. Do not be attacked by dog-- Don't put your thumb up with shark's ass, that's not-- I've been trying it on hikes and stuff. (laughing) That's you in the news? I'm just going around. Oh no. Let's practice. Local Burbank man fingering dogs in public. Local man, Los Angeles in bathrobe and Barbie beanie. I don't think I could take one of those like trained German Shepherds, not a chance, no. Could you fight a kangaroo? Yeah. They box. Yeah. They box and they are swole. I mean the one of those big ones. Did you ever seen the guy punch that kangaroo? It gets 'em so startled. Why'd you punch me? We went to Australia one time and then I learned a little too much info. They prop up on their tail and they kick. Yeah. The feet have like razor sharp claws so they're trying to disembowel you. Oh, shit. You gotta avoid the feet, avoid the reach, and then you fucking clobber. How do you do, how do you get-- Can you flip the side that a scar's on or are you just gonna-- Oh. Don't fight a koala because 80% of them have syphilis. That's right. Is that true? Yes. No, it's not syphilis, it's chlamydia, actually. It's one of the STDs. It's not a good one. It could be gonorrhea. None of them are great. I've stuck my finger up a lot of koalas. Oh. Oh, boy. We're definitely getting banned now. How's Ashton coming, by the way? (laughing) It's going well. Ashton's green? Ashton is green, although probably a lighter tone. I thought I could do the-- Looks like a grape green. It is, I thought I could do like with the pigmentation, I thought I could do like a, but the pigmentation just got really pale so I'm probably gonna go back. That's true, it's saying a roo will murder you. They can also drown you. I've seen kangaroos try and drown dogs. They try to drown dogs. Oh yeah, yeah. That's not me, I'm a full-grown man. Actually gotta do that now. Kangaroo up. But people do overestimate. They think they can like fight a bear. Yeah. Like you can fight back a grizzly bear or a brown bear. I could beat a cow. A cow? Like a dairy cow. (laughing) But like beat him as in like knock him out? Yeah, if he had it out for me-- I guess it would be a her. Moo! You know. You know what. But you can knock out a cow? Think how heavy a cow is. That sow has got some weight advantage. Do you guys know about the death clock? This is a real thing. No. When a bear, so my parents got a place up in Idaho and you gotta know about this stuff. That's great. So when a grizzly decides they wanna kill you and they catch you in an open space-- Oh yeah, look at that. They'll charge you on the quarter hour, they'll come at you at noon. They'll charge you four times on the quarter hour to make sure that you don't have a weapon or something, and then when they get back to where they started, that's the kill shot. No kidding, so they're checking your flanks? They're checking you out to make sure you're not gonna like jab 'em with the spear and they go pop, pop. So those first four is your opportunity to live. It's called the death clock, yeah. Wow. You're not talking about time, right? You're talking about angle of attack. Yeah, angle of attack. They don't wait 15 minutes. No, they're not like, "I'll be back for you." Look for the tattoos. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll get to-- Oh, that's very good. I think, yeah, no, I'm getting there. I think I'm gonna, yeah. Yeah, we're getting to it. I'm figuring it out. Handsome person. Could you beat an eagle? What kind of eagle? Oof. Not legally-- Don't add any details. Legally, that's a very, very good-- Let's go with a golden eagle, the biggest of them all. Hm, what's the circumstance? It's going to swoop down. It's going to grab your scalp? In the night, you can't see it very well. It comes down with razor-sharp claws, and it's pissed. DANI: That looks way better. I thank you. Oh. (laughs) I was like, thank you. Thank you. No, I was trying to-- On yeah. I wish I could do... Yeah, actually, we can. That's right, I can do both. TRAVIS: Apparently the great horned owl is the apex predator of the sky. They make no sound. I think I could beat an eagle. You do? Yeah. Because maybe it gets its claws into me, sure. Sure. Maybe it pierces skin. Maybe it's on me. It can't pick me up. So I could just grab up there and just kind of bash it down, stick my finger in its asshole, you know. ROBBIE: Cloaca! It has a cloaca. (laughs) You're the peregrine-- I'm just sitting here working on... The peregrine falcon flies at over 200 miles an hour. I think it would knock you out before you could get the... Well, wait, with the force of-- TRAVIS: They dive at 200 miles an hour. Now are we assuming it has human intelligence and strategy? (laughs) This is worst scenario possible. This is why we don't hang out outside of school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, man. It would just be eight hours of this. It's getting weird out there. Hey, one of the officially approved questions-- That's not quite, that's not bad. Hey, Sam. Yeah. How do you come up with the gas can bits for the show? Yes! That's a group effort, nowadays, guys. It used to be all me, and I would also do the Photoshop on it. No, I mean, I'm, you know, I'm-- But I'm not good at Photoshop and so now I, usually the day of the show, I Slack Producer Kyle and I say... Or he'll Slack me and say, "What do you got for the flask tonight?" And I'll say, "Ooh boy, not much. Something about how the moon is made of..." Cheese. Cheese or something. And he'll be like, "That's not funny. What about this?" And he'll pitch me something, and we kind of have a mini writers' room. Ooh! That's pretty good. Go back and forth. Sometimes there's an obvious thing. One more. But the one where Travis, "Don't touch the button, Travis." Yeah. Mm-hmm. I think that was an idea that started with me saying-- I think that's right. "I want something that says, 'Don't show this to Travis' or something like that." TRAVIS: Ah. And Kyle was like, "What if it's a button, and you say like, 'Don't press this'?" And then I said, "Well, what if when he does press it, he gets water dumped on him?" And Kyle said, "Well, what if that's just packing peanuts instead." (laughs) I like that Kyle kept you alive. That's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we go back and forth. And then if there's any Photoshop that's needed, Kyle does it or has it done. I don't know. There's magic that happens. He doesn't really understand how Photoshop works. These tattoos are awesome. They're pretty great tattoos. That's sweet. Whoa. But are you looking for something asymmetrical kind of? Yeah, and I think that's... Well, it's a little... I found a couple things that are interesting. All the way at the bottom. Oh, further-- Yeah, I was going to say. Yeah, this one is kind of the best I found. That's kind of doing the job. Can you turn his undercut to the other side? I'm trying to get him to flip. I keep doing the... That's all I'm getting, yeah. Get him to do the hair. ROBBIE: That's pretty darn good. Yeah, we haven't gotten to hair yet. Oh, wow! I can do this. Oh, this is going to make it great. Can I-- Oh yeah. Ooh. Boy, everyone's really invested in this animal battle question. Let's go. I think it's a good question. The hate on the Cowboys I especially appreciate. The Dallas Cowboys got knocked out in the first-- ROBBIE: Oh, it was pathetic. Oh, you don't have to tell me. I'm a huge ride-or-die Cowboys fan. We know. I know, I know. Legally and contractually. (chuckles) Question, "Travis, what's that pullover hoodie you're wearing? Summon your inner Laura and describe it." This is the Chetney hoodie. Hey! And it's on sale, right? Yeah! That's very comfortable. It's got a little beanie interior liner. A little thing right here. Oh yeah. It's so cool. It's awesome. And it's for sale on the shop.critrole dot shop dot shop. It's super comf. TALIESIN: Is it super comf? It actually is. I'm waiting on mine, actually, so yeah. This AU-- Ooh, that one's pretty good. Ashton is looking so cool. I'm kind of upset about it. Yeah, no, I'm like, the vibe is happening. Where is that one? There we are. Question for Taliesin from chat. Ooh, yeah. "How much has your experience with the World of Darkness games influenced your creation and portrayal of Ashton?" I don't know what any of that means. Ashton, all of my vampire, well-- Then they go on to say, "I get a lot of Brujah vibes from them." I mean, that would be where we would go. Wow, this is some inside baseball, y'all. That would be definitely in the conversion level. That's where this would go, although if I recall, there is a vampire group that get the hardened skin, but Brujah is the official punk vampire clan. And honestly, it hadn't really, I haven't really thought about it, but now the back and forth conversions of... 'Cause we did the vampire game where I just decided all of your clans and you didn't have to know 'cause I knew that-- TRAVIS: That's true. You would never do the reading. That's right. In a million years. Cool, show me Ashton's wiener! We're getting to pick. Stat! Or vulva. Hold your-- Ah! You don't know. That's a good point. You don't know. Hold your sphincters. Yeah, good point. We're working on it. Question for Sam. "Can you please post the Chetney wiener picture?" I don't know what... (laughs) I gladly will, but what platform? Does CR get banned? You don't have a burner account? (laughs) Yeah, let's disclose the total burner account that we have. Can I put it on Instagram Stories? It was just a guess. I... Yeah. Will I get banned? (laughs) There's only one way to find out. I don't know. I kind of agree. All right. Maybe you should just start Googling "Baldur's Gate" wieners and see if other people have done it. Oh, I'm sure there's a tag on TikTok. Chat, how do I post this without losing one of my social media accounts? ASHLEY M.: They will post NSFW stuff on Twitter all the time. They do? Okay, I'll go on Twitter then. But I don't want to support Twitter! I saw one that said, "Travis, what is Chetney's favorite toy from when he was a kid?" Aw. That's really good. Definitely rocking horses. Aw. Are you a rocking horse? Yeah. 'Cause if you make a shitty rocking horse they kind of just go in a circle when they rock, but if you get perfectly balanced, it'll just rock forever. Oh, that's really cool. I mean, did you come with that all on your own? I just made it up right now. Okay, that's pretty good. But now I'm scared. We could-- ASHLEY M.: We have to post it to Reddit. Oh god. Oh boy. (sighs) We could do a game on Twitter where if you post it and said something about a wiener penis and see-- (laughs) And then we could... (laughs) We could all take guesses about how many porn bots reply in a certain amount of time and do a betting pool. Oh yeah, you just put them all in a jar. Where it's-- The only mythical creature to challenge a werewolf is a wiener penis. (laughs) Yeah, yeah. God. Oh lord. That's so good! How do you post a picture on Reddit? (laughs) TRAVIS: Listen, we're a bunch of dads. 'Cause if I go to the Reddit it says, "Sick Day Live Discussion." (laughs) Post it-- Yeah, all right. Add a comment. Intensity's weird. There's no place to put a picture. Yeah, I'm trying to-- Goddamn it! TRAVIS: Dark green? You should put it-- Yeah, it's dark green. in the most popular Reddit of all time. TALIESIN: Except they don't call it dark green. Which is? The diphallicy Q&A. Green 4? Yeah. Oh! The diphallicy Q&A? What? Two dicks, one Q&A. (laughs) It's the most popular Reddit Q&A of all time! Is it? Yeah. Shit. Yeah. What? This guy's got two wieners. I, I... This guy's got two wieners. I'm learning too much about this world. I'm just stating facts on this. You put me on live. (laughs) Yeah... More questions from chat while I figure out how social media works. TRAVIS: Yep. What do we got on the-- I keep sucking at this-- Oh no, oh no. Don't look up. I got it, I got it, I got you. Don't look up there. Ah! I'm going to get some more coffee really quick. Hi-yah. Do it live. Do it live, Robbie. Oh yeah, take us with you. Hold on, I'm going to refresh these questions. On this episode of dads using social media. (laughs) "Travis, how do you think Grog or Fjord would handle Chetney?" I think Grog would be very confused by Chetney and find him hilarious. I think he would try and befriend him, which would take a long, long time. SAM: Uh-huh. And Fjord would not be a fan. This is a vibe. Oh! Oh man. I like those... Yeah, we've gone full My Chemical Romance, which honestly could happen. I kind of dig it, though. Yeah, I like it. I'm not saying that's out of the... Oh, this is actually getting in the right direction. Oh wow, this is really in the right direction. Did you change the tattoo color? Yeah. Cool. To the tempered gold. Yeah, the gold, gilded. On the other hand, there we are. Tip toe through... Nope, okay. No, okay. I think I know which one I want, I'm just checking out the other options. TRAVIS: You got to check the options, for sure. Oh, I like that. Yeah. I always kind of... Doesn't... Wasn't there a curly hair look right there? Oh yeah. And maybe make that a dark purple or-- Well actually, I found the one. I was just fucking around 'cause I honestly like-- Hm. That the one? I believe that's the one. Did you the eyebrow piercing? TRAVIS: Full mohawk at the bottom, apparently. All right, I'll take a look at that. Did you do the eyebrow piercing or was that-- That just came with the-- Don't take my hairstyle. It's like you go to Hot Topic and you buy the rings or piercings and you get 12 but you only wanted two of them. I totally know what you mean. Yeah, that old story. (laughs) DANI: You were actually serious. TRAVIS: Uh-huh. I like that. I feel very... Oh, yeah, that's-- Yeah. God, that's just fun. (grunts) More questions. Although you can't do that with rock, so. I kind of like the cornrows, too. Yeah, but it won't read as the rock. Hm. For Robbie, "How would Dorian feel about his friends being on the moon?" You guys are on the fucking moon? Spoilers. Oh! Oh shit. Yeah, we're on-- Really? There are two moons in Exandria, and one of them's red, and we're on the red one. Oh man. I'm trying to find the mohawk. Turns out-- Are you all on there? Yeah. We just got there. Turns out it might not be a moon. Wait, there's a mohawk. What? Yeah. Oh. That's actually-- I got some catching up to do. I like the little flip. TRAVIS: It's been there the whole time. There was one that read better. TRAVIS: Since we've been playing. And you just didn't know? Yeah. ROBBIE: All right. Mercer's just fucking conniving and evil. If my friends were on the moon, oh man. Yes, and you are not, (sighs) which sucks. ♪ If you believe ♪ ♪ It's a buzza buzza moon ♪ ♪ Things we can't sing 'cause of even ♪ ♪ Buzza, buzza moon ♪ TRAVIS: Yeah, if we can get you-- I think this is kind of the vibe. TRAVIS: Ticket. You want to come to the moon? I think this will work. Yeah, dog. Yeah, dude. Let's go. Put me on the space elevator, baby. TRAVIS: Let's meet up on the moon, man. The Bloody Bridge, it's called. No, I had sort of a semi-stratosphere-based plan back in EXU about the crown. If we're playing with some big height stuff, I always messed around. But yeah dude, the moon's sick. Who doesn't want to be on the moon? Everybody wants to be on the moon. (gasps) This is how we do it. ♪ This is how we ♪ ♪ Do it ♪ ♪ Do it, do it ♪ This is looking right. Ooh, highlights. I can do highlights. TRAVIS: How are more people watching. What? I feel like my lack of knowledge about what's going on is making me feel cagey. No, no, no. It's fun that way. And I'm not really being cagey. I just don't know what's happening. Ah, thank you. Ah. That's why I was like, these-- Why did we let Taliesin go saying he's going to do this for an hour and a half. I'm almost done. No, it's perfect. I'm almost done. It's amazing. I'm getting close. "Are there Chetney skins left all over Exandria from all of the werewolf transformations?" Like snake skins that just get left behind. Oh, oh. Does your skin come off? You split your skin and it falls off? Yeah, 'cause I've been zipping my chest and pulling it open and Donald Ducking my pants off. (laughs) Just my legs and then ripping my face off last. Actually-- Yeah, there's 100% just-- Yeah, yeah. Nasty-ass. SAM: You have to grow a new skin every day? TALIESIN: Okay, I think I got it. Maybe if you cultivate it and ate it I'll-- ROBBIE: I actually really like-- (laughs) (retches) Yeah, I'm really, yeah. (laughs) Adds a little bit of texture-- Make it into a-- With the graying. Yeah, yes. 100%. Not graying at all. Here's a question for everybody. "What's something you would love to make for the Critical Role shop?" Hm. "The crazier the better." Hm. Oh, for the shop? Oh. ASHLEY M.: Time for the last thing? Are we doing the last thing? I think you're ready. You mean the dicks? I think I'm ready, yeah. Or dicks are... Oh, wait. Stand by for genitals! Dicks are bad? Genitals! In three. Three. Two. Two. One. One. Time for genitals! We clear for genitals? Yes. Yeah. All right, where's the-- I can't see no genitals. He wasn't even ready, but I'm ready, here we go. Oh, there we are. We got to hide clothes. Yep. Okay. Yay! Oh, wow! Oh! Oh! That's not so bad. That's a green dick. Ho, ho, ho! Green Giant! Definitely not giant. It's a nice... There would be, I mean, I don't know. I don't know what stone does down there. Okay, hold on. I mean... (laughs) ROBBIE: I just feel like... (laughs) What stone does down there! Oh, what is that? Yeah. Oh, I see. No. We're in vulva land. Whatever you want. We're in vulvas. This is your private area. Yeah, no, I mean, I kind of actually-- Some of the vulvas, it's really hard to make out the details. I know. I feel like if you can get closer. Go look at the little-- I'll go get closer. Go get closer on the, 'cause you can't zoom in at your... But I get... (laughs) I think in the end-- Oh, I see. I think in the end I'm going to maintain a veil of mystery here. It's like-- You got to look. It's like a sort of engorged GUPA, I believe it's called. Uh-huh. The gorgeous upper pussy area. (laughs) Gorgeous? Man, man... There's an engorged GUPA. Is that a term? I know you have friends-- Is that a term? back home. GUPA? And I'm sure you have a version of this that's just not as fast or quite as clever and goddamn it. Oh man! Fucking. I'm going to start reading these breakdowns a little more clearly when you guys ask me to come. Yep, that's fair. We'd assume you do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know it's a FUPA, but I don't want to say that on the TV. (laughs) But you just did! I said "GUPA," turning it into a positive! (laughs) Yep. It's the best. Yeah, you know, I think this is the way to go, but-- TRAVIS: I can't tell until you turn left and right. Yeah. Okay, I'm going to say, let's leave an air of mystery for the people. I respect the fanfic. I don't want to fuck around with it. I'm sad that when you turn him one direction continuously it doesn't like... Yeah. It doesn't like... Dab. Dabble in the wind, yeah. Can I ask a real question about the dicks? Yeah. Are some circumcised and some not? Are some cut and uncut? You might have to go to the screen now. Get a little closer. Fine. Don't have to ask me twice! Get up and... (laughs) All right. Uncut! That's a uncut dick! Get closer! That's an uncut dick? Yeah, yeah. Get... (laughs) There's clearly a penis glandular head. That's, okay-- TRAVIS: Get in closer, Robbie! So penis E is cut, penis D is cut. TRAVIS: Okay. Penis C is uncut. Okay. Penis C is really uncut. There's excessive foreskin. (laughs) Wait, like they added extra? Yeah, yeah. It's like a oversized sweatshirt. The guys of Exandria like-- It's like a turbo turtleneck. Too much dick skin. All right. It's like towelneck? I'm going in a bit. I'm going with D. Yeah. I think, yeah. I feel like Ashton would be uncut. (laughs) Or I mean-- He's an uncut gem! Hold on, go back a penis! This is actually, this is what I'm feeling like, uncut. Call me crazy. I think penis B is a little slimmer. I don't know. C's really nice. Yeah, that one, for me, that's nice. SAM: C feels nice. C smells nice. C looks nice. Yeah, sure. TALIESIN: And then honestly, this is what excites me. Are you showing-- That is a great ass. Caked up. Oh dear! Yeah, no, that's a great ass. Caked up. I know the term. You didn't even see how enthralled I was with the penis. Caked up. Okay, I'm-- No cap. (laughs) I'm turning off of "Fantasy Island" Ashton. Okay, we're turning off the dicks. Yeah, there we are. All right, we're back. Yeah, there we are. We're back. Oh man. Can you get him appropriately colored outfit for his class? Sadly, well-- What do you think? We'll try one last time. What is it? So that's... Is it class? There's class, yeah. There it is, yeah. He's an uncut gem. Well, let's see. And this'll the last thing that we figure out. Okay, how do we... I have to hit A for then and then... Yeah. Oh. Hm. All right. Eh, I mean, it's, you know. I mean, palette-wise. I'm looking for that Billy Idol vibe. ROBBIE: Red and black? That's actually, the asymmetrical of this is actually-- Question for everyone, what should I do if I'm still in Campaign One? I'm on the last episode of the "Trial of the Take." Ooh. Oh, wow. How deep is that, "Trial of the Take?" TRAVIS: You just keep watching it. Well, the "Trial of the Take" is when we split into two groups, right? Yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. And that's mid-campaign, right Dani? Mid-campaign. 22? That's 22. No, that's early. That's early days, yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't remember it being that early. The Briarwoods was like 25, I think? Yeah, this was just pre-- Was 25, 26. Well, I would say definitely stick with Campaign One if you're in it that far, and enjoying it. I know this is-- That doesn't mean that you can't occasionally dabble into Campaign Three, just to see what all the hubbub's about. But I would say stick with Campaign One, make that your regular go-to, and then, time permitting, grab an episode of Campaign Two or Three when you can. I don't know, what do you guys think? Yeah. I mean, yeah. That seems like the way to go. I feel like I've done it. I feel like Ranger is the, I mean, it's not as fancy as, it doesn't have as quite the flair, but I feel good, I feel good. You're good, who's next? I haven't looked at the chat in a minute. It said, "I hate when the police use excessive foreskin." (laughs) That's a good joke. That's good! That's a good joke. That's good, props. Props. How do we lock this in? How do we just-- I haven't been locking it in. I think this is it, that's it. Let's just go for it. But, I just move on? Yeah. That's it. Go back to race, or origin, one of the two. Oh wait, oh shit. That's the toggle, it's up here. That's the triggers. You got to tell. If you could give your kids one toy that you played with from your childhood, what would it be? ROBBIE: One toy? Because remember, there's a bunch of shit that's not around anymore. Teddy Ruxpin, right? I had a haunted Teddy Ruxpin. The batteries started to die? And so at night? (moaning) And then it would just do that every night. Yep. Oh god. Maybe a halfling. Maybe a dwarf. You got to be tiny, yeah, you got to be small. ROBBIE: I still have it. You do? I do, yeah. And I think Lynnyx had it for a little while. It's sentimental. Should I say it? Yes! All right, so my mom was a single mom for a period when I was young, and she was a great mom, and she got remarried later. My dad adopted me, it was awesome, but it's tough being a single mom. And one day, she had to stay late for work for something, and she was late to picking me up from daycare, but late, late. I was the last kid there, and I was scared, and I had all this stuff, and she had just enough time to swing by, and bring me this out of season, little doggy stuffed animal with a Santa Claus hat. And that was 35 years ago. Wow. And I kept it. And I'm pretty sure I gave it to Lynnyx one night when she was scared, so she's got it somewhere. Oh, that's so good. It's this ratty old, nasty thing, but I don't know, we didn't have a lot, and that was one thing I held onto forever. Oh, that's so good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that. That's so nice. Dang. Yeah. So the lesson here is you can be a great single mom, if you fuck up once, your kids are gonna remember forever! That's right. Forever! They carry it with them for 35 years. That does lead to a question in chat. Sam, are you proud of your son for the ad last week? Do you feel like he brought the thunder? I'm very proud of my son for the ad last week. He was so excited when it was on, when it was airing. He was like, "Is it on yet?" And we watched it together, and he was looking at the chat, and he was like, "Do they like it?" And I was like, "They do, buddy. They like it a lot." Yeah, it was really good. That's so sweet. ROBBIE: That's a gift, yeah. Who looks the most robotic here, her? Oh my god, we're moving on? Yeah, yeah. We're in Fresh Cut Grass. Are you doing Scanlan? Oh, you're FCG. Fresh Cut Grass. I mean, I think this is something to work with. Okay, let's find some yellow skin. Yeah, apparently we have to- This is the most robotic? I don't know. Oh, oh, here were go. Yellow skin? Sulfur tone. I know you'll hit the metallic. ROBBIE: They even give you a metallic option, right? I'm going to go with that for now. Maturity? ROBBIE: Zero! Yeah, ageless. I think ageless. Look at the waterfall. The waterfall's freaking out in the background. Oh god, it relaxed. That water is trying to get anywhere. Wow, that's-- Super smooth. Are they okay? No freckles. They don't look okay. ROBBIE: Taliesin, you pick a question. No freckles. Well, okay. I suppose, I'm trying to find something that's really, really, although we never did the things in the shop, but I think we need to percolate that. For everyone, if you could spend more time in any location you've visited in Exandria so far, where would you go? And you've been to some other areas that we haven't, but my answer for that is easy, so. Is yours the islands that move? It's either the shattered Teeth, or on the moon. I mean, the moon. Oh, that's true. But we haven't really-- Kind of doing it. The moon could suck, I don't know. The Shattered Teeth needs massive amounts of exploration. It's just untapped goodness. It's like the part of the game where you haven't broken any of the pots yet? Yeah, yeah. I feel like there's some ancient character from history that just got lost there, and for whatever reason is just still chilling because time doesn't apply, or something. Heterochromia. That's good. Oh, that's the different eyes. Although, I think you can do the thing, you use the demon eyes, I think you can get the all black, or all blue. TRAVIS: Is there a flesh tone tab that you can toggle? Body art. That's the tattoos. You might get lucky with something in there. ROBBIE: Yeah. Is there a tattoo that looks like-- Mouth, like a Joker mouth, maybe? Oh god, or like a tongue? TALIESIN: No, probably no tongue. That's sort of robotic. What? I don't know. It seems futuristic. TRAVIS: It could, yeah, I don't know. Because I can change the tattoo color, right? You can. Insane Clown Posse is doing it for me. Keep rolling. Actually, again, this is one of those ones if you hit A, you can see everything. I know, but I-- God, this makes me want to-- Okay, no, you can do that too. Ooh, that's kind of robotic. I want to play. I know. Robbie, this is one for, whoa. Well? The spawn. How did you feel when you responded to the stone message from Orym? That was outside of our reality, so. Oh yeah, we talked about that a little when I got the call to do it. Yeah, I don't know what place I had in the story at that moment, so I just leaned back on doing something a little bit funny, and then just went with the heart about how you would respond to someone you could tell was struggling. I mean, Liam's, eh? (laughing) Actually? That's, Get rid of the hair, get rid of the hair. And it's even got the three little grass, it's got the grass shoots on the forehead. And also, the tattoo intensity is-- Doesn't he have a little pullback? It's little springs. He's got a spray of springy hair. I think so. I say turn that up to-- Question for all, can you please do a live show with Robbie in Cincinnati? (laughs) That's a very specific question. Get into that one, baby. I loved meeting Robbie when he visited. Oh, you did a con in Cincinnati? It's a nice town? Cinci, I love Cinci. We can do that. Great city, absolutely. What's the one that, the third on the second level, on the right? Yeah, actually-- How does it feel having your previous characters make cameos in this campaign? I wouldn't fuckin' know! (laughing) Because Matt plays favorites. (laughing) He's too scared, calling you out, scared to bring out ol' Strongjaw, Mayor Strongjaw of, not Whitestone. Scanlan hasn't shown up either. TRAVIS: Yep. I've never heard him do the Strongjaw voice. Maybe he's just intimidated by the voice. I'm sure that's what it is. A poster call out in one of the EXUs? What does that mean, poster call out? That we went to a, or no, was that in Campaign Three? I can't remember. No, it was in EXU. Yeah, we went to a theater, and on the wall was an old poster that was Scanlan's One Man Show. Oh, cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was cute. I love it. Another question was why are all of Sam Riegel's characters under four feet tall? Because I have short man syndrome. You're like six feet tall. Yeah, it's probably like a-- We make you stand in the back for photos, because you're tall. I know, I'm very tall, but I don't want to stand out. I just want to fade away. Hey, this one says I sing "The Ballad of Bertrand Bell" to my kids to put them to sleep, cheers to Dorian. Aw, that's sweet! That's actually a really good bedtime song. That's so sweet. We watch Dorian to fall asleep, sorry. It's fucking sweet, man! That is sweet. Whoa! Wow. I don't know what's going on. Whoa, actually I kind of like that. It's getting a little away from it, but-- TALIESIN: I want to go dancing, this is great. ROBBIE: I'm going to be upset if FCG is the best one. (laughing) Wow, that's a throwback. Sorry. Fuck. Oh, I do love X-O. Someone's going to google that now and go, why? Let's see, what else is it? Hairstyle, there we go. Okay, that's already an improvement right there. Yes. TRAVIS: What other new slang do you know, king? ROBBIE: Oh, Travis, Travis, they're just-- Don't you dare. King? Shitting on the Cowboys. (laughing) Hey, buddy. I'm seeing it! I see! Listen, we won. Oh boy. I only looked at the chat for 30 seconds. We won the AFC East, and then we lost to the bottom seed in the playoffs. We didn't lose, we got blown out. I'm lost, I'm adrift at sea, Dani. I don't know what to do. DANI: Dude, don't look at me! We kept our coach. I don't know. This could've been a good Chetney hairstyle. I don't want to see go, Pack, go. Get that mess out of here. I see that. I'm not cheering for the Pack, mm-mm. I was going to say, speaking of the sadness of the world. Facial hair. Chat's got some fun ones. What is your go-to takeout or fast food order? TRAVIS: Oh, dang. Yeah-- At any point? I think only pick a chain that people would know, because I'd love a little greasy spoon diner, but you know. That's true, although pad thai is my number one, because there's so many Thai restaurants in Los Angeles, I have to hit as many different Thai restaurants. The better the pun, the better the pad thai. No, no, no, no. It was all going so well. Drive through. Yeah, drive through. I know, more of a drive through. Oh, it's got to be a drive through? DANI: Drive through. Does Zankou Chicken count? Because that is, their venue- DANI: Just go for your Wendy's, go for your Taco Bell. It is kind of Wendy's for me, man. I do a quarter pounder, I put the Frosty, I dip the french fries in it, you know what I'm saying? Zankou is-- You don't dip the french fries in the Frosty? I don't. I do. Oh my god. I do, I love that. Have you tried it, and it just didn't speak to you, or am I speaking of uncharted forests for you? No. French fry in the Frosty? I like my sweet sweet, and my salty salty. You were freaking out at me about rhubarb, and now we're talking about-- Rhubarb doesn't belong in a pie. Somebody told me it was a grassy root. You're putting a potato- I said it's a root vegetable, not a grassy root. I'm pretty sure it's a grassy boot. My biggest Wendy's shame-- Or a grassy Groot. Is I like the chili, and I just know they're glooping that shit out of a schmoopy gloopy gloopers, right into my cup. Yes. I know it, and I don't care. Dude, Laura likes the chili there too. Really? We are in the birthplace of fast food in this California. Yeah. There are rules. No scoots, no toots from the Wendy's chili. (laughing) (clapping) I'm in the zone, baby. Does no one have any love for Wienerschnitzel, or is that just like-- Wienerschnitzel? Wienerschnitzel? That's a drive through? Have you been there? There's one on Laurel Canyon. It's open late. TRAVIS: There is that one on Magnolia. And for some strange reason, there's a dozen goth kids I know from my youth who were like, that's what we're doing right now, and I'm like, okay. TRAVIS: I did Wienerschnitzel, and it was right in, and right out. I've never been there. Yeah, no, it's like a carnivore's IHOP, because they look the same, but that one, you get hot dog. Yeah, plus the structure is unique, which is good. And the name is nonsense. You just turned German, you're like, "That's when you get hot dog." That is where the-- Wienerschnitzel! Hot dog for you. Not trust your guts-- Ooh! Tiki Room journal. Sports sure are a thing. You're really doing something here. Where's the mohawk? Where is the mohawk? Yes, rhubarb was good. I had the strawberry rhubarb pie today, and everyone was delighted by it except for, I don't understand how you went that long with this life. What are some of your character's guilty pleasures? Murder. (laughing) The guiltiest of all the pleasures. Yes. Mine enjoys eating money, and also drinking things that they shouldn't. Ooh. Ooh. Caduceus's guilty pleasure is kombucha. Kombucha, really? On the left? Technically alcoholic. What's on the left, what does that mean? Down. What are you talking about? Oh, top knot thing? Ooh. That's dope. Oh wait, wait. Tidy mohawk? ♪ Tidy mohawk ♪ One, well, yep. Is there a dreadlock mohawk? Because yeah, then if we do it silver, it would, oh, oh? DANI: There is a dreadlock mohawk. Where? Oh, that's cool too. Tidy. There's a dreadlock mohawk? How do I find that? Here, I'm going to use my bad eyesight. Floating-- The question to all is no weapons, no magic, no powers, could you beat your Campaign Three character in a fight? TALIESIN: No. No weapons, no magic, no powers. I have no weapons, no magic, and no powers? Just a body on a body. Could you whoop the shit out of that little metal motherfucker? No! No. He's made of metal! I know. Okay, he's got chainsaw hands. And you're made out of rock. I have been definitely incapable of winning a fight since somewhere in the mid '90s was the last time I was, without a folding chair. TRAVIS: What about Dorian, could you take Dorian? Pbbth, I don't think so. I could take Dorian. He is a tank! He is a diced up monster. Dorian strikes me as someone where if a fist was coming at the face, he would go for the block. No weapons, no magic, no powers, I would smoke Chetney. (laughs) I would fucking-- He's an old man! I would drop him, the entire, yes. I would end a dynasty. I can't decide between these dreads. Down. Or- That's a good one. This tidy mo. I don't see, yeah. DANI: You passed the dreadlocks mohawk. I did, I passed the dreadlocks mohawk? That one? Yeah. Is it this? No, that's a-- Up. ROBBIE: Was that a beeping fire alarm? No, I think that's someone's sneaker squeaking. Ooh, I've got-- What? Are you talking to me? Cornrows you liked were? I'm going to go use the restroom. This better be perfect when I get back. TRAVIS: But you have to leave your microphone on when you go to the restroom. Done and done. Okay. And you got to have the toots and the scoots. (laughs) ROBBIE: I'm all good. (laughs) Yeah? Up. These? No, they're left. One row down. Oh, I see. This works for Taliesin. What is a DnD class that you would like to play in the future? That you're interested by? I like this. There's a sorcerer. I've been tinkering with a couple things. There's a sorcerer build. I want to build an "Ocean's 11" rat pack character, and I think there's a sorcerer build for that that I'm into. I do like little builds. There's also a monk. I actually have, if I ever get to do any EXU... TRAVIS: Second Calamity one, or? The Calamity, yeah, the Second Calamity? I have a monk that I am so excited about. Oh my god. I have the perfect monk. I'm really excited. You got the perfect monk! You got the perfect monk! I so want to do more Calamities around Exandria. It's so fun! And just see what happened in different cities, and different places. I have a character for the other EXU, but I'm not allowed to even vaguely mention it, because Matt will kill me. Really? Yeah, it's a thing though. He's not here! Yeah, but he'll-- He doesn't watch this. It's-- Do what you want. No, it's-- He's sick! Sam, he's sick! Yeah, he's got explosive diarrhea right now. No mobile devices on the can. Yeah! He's got diarrhea-- We are in a room full of people who will report directly to him to throw me under. Matt has diarrhea dripping down his leg right now. That's right, and Marisha just won't stop barfing. Like just barfing. Yeah. So much barf. And she's sick. And sick! (laughing) I think I'm done with Fresh Cut Grass. I think it's looking pretty good! Wait, wait, we haven't done-- Wait! Oh, we gotta do-- Oh, oh! We gotta do genitals. Hold! We got two, we got two. Hold for junk! We got two-- And clear for genitals in? Three, two, one! Thank you, Robbie. Oh, that was close. Whoa! Whoa! (laughs) Whoa, I can't, I feel! Oh! I feel bad! Holy shit. Oh! Hello! I've been wondering. Hello, Miss! (laughing) That's great. No, I mean, this is great. All of this is great. Oh! Yeah! There's some interesting combinations. I'm with it. No, this is-- Yeah. (laughing) I feel like I've met this person is the weird thing, I'm definitely having some flashbacks to the mid '90s. You can't zoom into their junk. That head is so brightly yellow. Yeah. It's like. Wait, which of the vulvas is? There you go. There's two vulvas. Ah, it feels-- Nah, it feels right. A and a B? Yeah, and a B. I think-- B. What is the difference? Well, one's a little-- Taliesin, if you get closer and look. (laughing) If you get (laughs) up there and look. If you get up in there. Find the difference between A and B. Yeah, yeah, go on. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, go on. Really do a nice-- Do I need to get my glasses? Okay, nah. Investigation check. Yeah, because I examined the-- All right, all right. Got the vulvas, okay? Yeah, you got to get-- It's a little Russ Meyer stuff going on, but. (laughing) Keep rolling. (laughing) That's a joke for old people. This is A, and then this is B. B is, yeah. Aerodynamic, right? It's very, very sleek. A swimmer, clearly. Gotcha, okay. (laughing) That seems more Fresh Cut Grass, I think. Quite, quite true. (laughs) Quite literally. Literally! (laughing) Guys-- I'm so proud of you right now. All right, I'm going to put clothes back on. Ah, that was a dumb joke. And we're back. All right. I think Fresh Cut Grass is done. Gold member! (laughing) I'm digging that. Fantastic. All right, last up. Come on in. Put me in, coach. Do you want the couch? ♪ Put me in, coach ♪ Clothes? Clothes now? Oh, have we done the clothes? I'll sit. Oh, I can't change-- You have a couple options. If you change your-- Wait, you can change your clothes? If you change your classes. Use the top left toggles, go to the left, and you go to, oh, yes. Oh, hold on. Let me go back and zoom out. Maybe I will do the whole, and go, keep going. Oh, the question is when are we getting a reboot of "All Work No Play" but with interesting people? (laughing) As soon as we find some. Damn! (laughing) Ah, yeah, one more to the right. Class. And then-- Sorry. You can change your class with a different base number. Oh, I see, I see. I altered that. No, that was, well actually I had a fun one was, and the question is, would I allow it? But I'm curious. Would Chet be interested in building a carousel in Whitestone if we had to cooperate? Like if it would be like a-- Old wooden carousel? No, I mean, I would help design the thing, and then you would, I mean-- Are you talking about fucking Percy? TALIESIN: Yeah, Percy would do the mechanicals, and you got to make it beautiful. Like a hybrid of wood? Hybrid of wood and metal? Yeah, it's like a-- A joining of the pure and the evil? It's a wheel of Babel. I don't know what else to tell you. I did it. He did it! Hey, that's great! That is fantastic! Look at that! That is 100% Fresh Cut Grass. That's right. That's really him, too. So what do I do, just back out? Now the real challenge begins. Yeah, do your left. You go two to the left. Left bumper, yeah. And you start with a... Once you hit the change the race. Yeah? One to the right. I'm back in chat. Oh, one to the right. Now once you change it, it'll-- Okay, so this is-- Other than, yeah, the outfit. This is a good question. "Will we ever get any more Narrative Telephone?" I feel like we've been talking about it. Oh yeah! It comes up. Yeah? Yeah, we loved that so much. Obviously during COVID, it was much easier to do, but I think we actually miss the madness and chaos. It was like some breathing room. Yeah. I know. Breathing room is probably not for a little while. It may come back. It may come back just because we need that kind of insanity in our lives. Oh, thank god. Yeah, I've been really missing-- If tonight is any indication we definitely do. This is the chillest I've been in a while. Yeah, I'm trying to, yeah, actually-- Are you going half-elf? ROBBIE: Where do I change gender identity here? TRAVIS: Oh, so go all the way to origin. Oh, it's origin? There you go, yeah. There we are, okay. And then body type one or two is just sort of your base layer. And that is based on... Oh, you did this already, I don't want to-- But that's okay, you got a-- No it's okay, you can mess up mine. I'm going full. I'm going full elf. Full elf? Yeah! Oh wait, wait, switch away from elf and come back. Actually, actually, do a-- And go back? Actually go back from elf and go really quickly, check out, they've got elves that have a pre-blued skin if you go to the right of it. Oh no, chat is saying Travis, Taliesin's and Sam's characters-- A drow? Were not saved. I don't know, up to you. We did not save them. That's a good start. Yeah, we didn't save them. It's gone forever. I don't think anybody's missing my Chetney. (laughing) Oh no, I don't have-- Oh! Oh! I'll start with-- "Taliesin, Sam! Thanks for making a non-binary character. It gave me the courage to come out as non-binary." Wow! Amazing! That's amazing! Incredible! Congratulations! Yeah, well done. Welcome. It's a weird world. It's one of the few things that I'm actually really enjoying that we're watching the world do as opposed to-- Totally. Things that are honestly a-- Ah, you know, migraine-inducing. Aw, look, my family! Look and Laura and-- Aww! SAM: Are they watching us right now or are they? No, I don't think so. Oh, okay. (laughing) Isn't that cute? Look at the happy look on him. He always throws up the deuces. He does? Yeah, he always throws it up. Just the peace. (laughing) That's really cute. Who taught him that? TRAVIS: I don't know! "Would any of you consider being a Game Master for a longer campaign?" I did that in high school. I don't know if I ever want to do. Well. I'm doing that for a bunch of kids right now. ROBBIE: Oh, cool! We played this past weekend. It was so hard, because the kids these days are rule followers. Are they? What? At least my kids and their friends are. I set up this scenario where-- Are you a tyrant? You're a tyrant. There was a stolen item, and an angry giant who was going to come retrieve his item unless they found it quick. They're all in a, we're playing in the Wildemount Wildlings Summer Camp. Mm-hmm. That's our campaign. They're all campers at Wildemount Wildlings, and one of the camp counselors, Luc Brenatto, told them, "You're not allowed to go search in any of the cabins. You have to stay out of the cabins for a while while we figure out what's going on." And I was like, "Okay, kids, you guys know that this stolen item is in one of the cabins. You have to go find it." And they were all like, "But he said we can't go in the cabins." And so I have a bunch of fucking narc kids who won't break the rules. Narc? That's actually pretty good. Narc? They were like, "Well let's go tell the camp counselor," and I was like, "You guys are heroes, go do it!" They suck. It might give you more. TRAVIS: You gotta find their courage! They do. Yeah, hit, let's roll down into the purple. Okay, why not? I'm colorblind, by the way. Oh are you? No, no. That's not true. Okay, get out of the reds then. This is ridiculous. Okay. This is great. Oh! Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Oh! All right, for the time being. For the time being. He's got that SPF 50 Carmex. Young buck. Yeah. (laughing) Yeah, it still looks like he's done a day of-- I didn't do any of this. I hit random, and I've really-- Oh, really? Really? No, no, no, no, I took this off base, and now we're fixing, now we're. I found a new question from chat, by the way, to all of us. Yep. The question is, "Poo poo pee pee, or pee pee poo poo?" (laughing) TRAVIS: Poo poo pee pee. Pee pee poo poo? Get out of here with your ending oohs. Finish it! (laughing) Wait. No, no, no. No, no, no, no! No, no. I took off, don't worry. I was just hovering. Ooh. Just hovering. Oh man, Ashley's on the draw, by the way. Oh yeah, no. Hair trigger. She is-- It's been-- That is. That was a excellent reaction. Yeah, no, the speed. That was incredible. We are not getting banned! (laughs) That sounded like a dare! If you even say the word genitals near her, she'll come over and slap you in the face. She starts counting down immediately, even before the stream. I just like this because this is for me from chat. "What Disneyland ride would be each of your characters favorite to ride?" Ooh! This is into my heart, so I'm very... I'm going to say, help me with the name of this ride. Okay. Yeah. Autopia, Autopia! Autopia is mine. That's fine. It's mechanical, it's steampunk-y, it's old. That's all true. DANI: Simulates traffic. Simulates traffic, I love it. It smells like LA traffic. Autopia. Remember Thunder Mountain? There's Thunder Mountain and the Matterhorn are both. I think I'm a Thunder Mountain guy because Matterhorn was too much metal. Yeah, no, that's very fair. TRAVIS: Yeah. And what about you much? Robbie, you have a child, you-- Wow! Whoa! Look at this guy! I love the bangs. I love the bangs! There's a lot going on. Wow! That's a little much. We'll figure it out in a minute. His lips are something. Chat says, "Sam picked the worst ride." Awesome. (laughing) That's not true. Where's the support around here? The revamped Submarine is the worst ride. We should all know that. I love doing live broadcasting. This is so great. We just get roasted. Yeah, you just get ripped on. That's all I want. It's pretty good. They knew the power they hold. They said "Australia win." When are we going to Australia? I... Down under! It is Space Mountain. In my head, it was like, "Is there a Captain EO thing?" But no, it's Space Mountain. You hit "Captain EO" before so you can pregame. "Captain EO"? Does that exist still? Every now and then, they bring it back all the time. It's like the Electric Parade. They say it's gone, but they lie. I can tell you factually that we had a group meeting recently where I, I believe, I'm going to take credit for this, I said Australia. I said the word Australia, and everyone else said, "Ooh!" It was name a country that begins with the word A, and he definitely-- (laughing) So Australia is being thought about. I don't know if it's a thing, but it's being thought about. It does come up on occasion. I would love to go. That would be so great. It's up near Vancouver. Right? Yeah! Yep! Well. (laughs) British Columbia. Yeah, technically. Oh man. Question. Yeah, that'd be great. "Speaking of Sam's kids." Hm. Hm. (laughing) Wow! So eventually we're going to get the girls and Matt building their "Baldur's Gate 3" characters, right? No, this is fun. They should do it. Actually, I'm really enjoying this, this is really. We should do a sequel with them. Oh, "come to Canada, come to Brazil." Drag Aimee into this too. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Just a lot of-- Ireland, yep. Yelling Australia at us? Aussie, Aussie, Aussie. Thank you for saying that. British Columbia. Now chat has just become-- Boston. A world map. New Zealand! (laughs) New Zealand would be fun. Come on, shout it out, where are you from? I'm up for the challenge. Canada, Canada, New Zealand. London, we just did that. Missouri. Missouri? What's up? Well, let's not get crazy. Buffalo. (laughing) Buffalo? It's so cold. Alabama, Argentina, Pittsburgh, please. Japan. Maybe we can do a live-- Brazil, Arizona, Chicago, Vermont, Kansas City, New York. Don't put abbreviations. Do we have someone here in Japan watching this show right now? I think so. Thank God, I've been wanting one. (laughs) We have an excuse now. We can do a live show in France. We're going to go find the one. New Mexico, Palm Springs- They have theaters in Branson. Branson? Miami, Norway, Philippines, Oklahoma, Miami, Green, oh, Green Bay, Kentucky. Oh boy. Upper Peninsula. Does Branson bring it with the theater? Vegas spelled wrong, Dallas. I do not think your brand of humor will be welcomed or appreciated. Really? (laughing) Shelton. South Korea, yeah! I'd be down, yeah! Just a... I'd be down for that. Bulgaria, Latvia. Oh. All right, guys, we get it. You know lots of places in the world. I know. (laughing) I think they're just goofing. We get it, we get it. What the fuck was that? Ecuador. Just make a little bubble with his-- Wait, I forgot I could do this. Oh, that's kind of gorgeous though. That is really nice. That's some good work. Yeah. Why does he look like he's stoned? (laughs) Well. (laughing) Not a lot to do when you're not on the show. (laughing) Ruling is very, very slow. This is slow. Yeah, right? Man. I'm ready for Dorian's dick! (screams) Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa! Give us the Dorian D! Yep. Stand by for genitals in three, two, one. Clear for genitals. Hi-yah! Hey! Whoa! Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay! That's more or less what I was expecting. Yeah. He's blue balling. (laughing) Every day. Whoa! Hey! Oh! Hey! Jester's world of dicks! Hold on, let me try to, wait, hold on. It's so hard. No, you're doing mirrored. It's mirrored. It's not that hard, I swear. There it is. Ugh, you're getting it right where it's supposed to be, there you go. TRAVIS: "No, Gerald, stop it!" My ears, they're rocking hard. (laughs) Guys, guys. (laughing) It's a rocket ship, it's fine. This is like "Fruit Ninja" from hell. (laughs) "Fruit Ninja" from hell. Cut them up! Dick Samurai and-- Ah! I understand why they didn't put a dick slider on this. Yeah. Because who roleplaying would be like, "Hey, small"? That is-- You know, with the right physics engine though, you could get some really interesting creasing happening. Yeah, I mean, I don't have any thoughts about this, really. (laughing) TRAVIS: Well, you gotta give is some rotation. I mean-- Yeah, okay. Hit the catwalk for a second. Oh! No! No, now you look like you're just having an anxiety attack. Like get some-- I'm really-- Someone needs to get you, you need to listen. Did you never learn how to be on the swing when you were? Yeah, you gotta get the momentum going. That's true. They couldn't even do the courtesy of making the dong longer than the balls. I mean, we all know that's the real measure, right? (laughing) No, I mean, it's just not quite-- Maybe he's just-- I get it. TALIESIN: If you do it, I mean, you don't quite have enough to Prince Albert this. Cold in Exandria. TALIESIN: But, you know. (laughing) I'll just go with-- You didn't even go through all the choices! I am going with default genitals! No, I'm kidding. Okay. No, ooh! Whoa! Whoa! Oh, oh, oh. All you got to see? TALIESIN: No, I was into it, I was into it, I mean. I don't like that one. Wait, there's a C vulva for you? Yeah, you got a C. There's a C vulva. Yeah, extra. Well I gotta check it out! I gotta check it out! Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Get in there. I didn't get to see. Get in there, well tell me what's happening! That's so... I guess I didn't click over. No, the things change depending on what you have. I'm confused! We're getting the real deal. That's really-- (laughing) Okay. I'm confused! Put that cloaca away. Just let it happen, let it happen. Okay, now it got weird. Oh wow, yeah, yeah. Yep. That was fine for a second. So give me a turn, I can't, the lighting is... Okay. Okay, hold on. How's that? Yep. I feel... Hm. (laughing) It's not for me. It feels like it's armor. ROBBIE: It's nice, but it's not for me. I don't think that's, I mean, it's really opaque. Caramel? Wow, wow! This almost feels right. And it's like a Ken doll. That's like a Ken doll. Right here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, Dorian's got to have a dong. Whoa! ROBBIE: Double D. How close are his? (laughs) ROBBIE: Yeah, here, let me swing it for you. TRAVIS: That's more dramatic. (laughing) Whole 1080, in 1080p. I think it can only be penis D for Dorian. Penis D? D for Dorian. TALIESIN: You're just going for the-- It's just D-enis at that point. Yeah, I'm going to put my clothes back on. Yeah. All right, we got clothes on. Those are clothes. A new question from chat. It says Sam, read here. Question for the group. Fuck, marry or kill Delilah Briarwood. Ooh. Otohan Thull. Ooh! Or Avantika. Ooh! Fuck, marry, kill. Okay, everyone's got their opinion. Okay, lock it in. Um. Ooh, that's tough. I would totally, can I go? Yeah, go. Yeah. I would marry Delilah because she's got all sorts of powers, right? And she loyal too. And she loyal and she got magic. That'll keep you alive. Damn. Definitely. I think you definitely got to fuck Avantika. I can just picture it was rowdy, like furniture was broken. Yeah. There was probably a drawer with toys in it and stuff. I've known a pirate queen in my time. Yeah, I bet there was some bondage. TALIESIN: You could die in the process. Yeah. You are not, wow! Ooh, that's pretty good. And Otohan's just got to go. That's brilliant. I think I'd have to agree with that. Yeah, no, I'm actually in the same boat right there. Yeah. That's not giving, you know? Well, that's fine. No, but that's the other thing. Marrying Avantika, I just wouldn't know what to do. Are you done? I'm going to make sweet tender love to Delilah Briarwood. Okay. I am going to murder, what was it, Otohan? Otohan Thull, yeah. Yeah. And I don't know who that other character is, so I'm going to marry her because I like to live on the wild side, baby! (claps) She's a pirate. She's an evil pirate. She is undead water pirate. Yeah, I was going to say, how much "Our Flag Means Death" have you watched? Because you can get a vibe there. Zero. Oh god. (laughs) I love that show. It's so good. So deeply. My friends, what do you think? It's the best historical fan fic. How are we feeling about Dorian here? Holy shit. The earrings, that's not necessarily the earrings I would've expected. It's my only option. Do you get to choose? No, that's not true. Do you get to choose the earrings? You have tons of options. ROBBIE: There's more earring options? Yeah, you go down to piercings. "How many pairs of Crocs does Sam have?" I think it might be my new thing. And then just go left and right and they will change. I might get a bunch more. I have pink ones, I have red ones. TRAVIS: Did you just fold your leg in my direction? God, I hope so. Yes. Don't worry, though. The must is just-- Don't worry, Travis. TALIESIN: You see them on your ears? SAM: I'm packing penis C down here. (laughs) That's not bad. Yeah, the bard rings. Oh hey, I saw one for Robbie and Travis. "I know you might not see this but can I get a late birthday shout out by chance since my 21st birthday was on Tuesday?" Shout out, happy birthday. Happy birthday to Zenversifus. Chat is saying that Dorian does not have this hair. Well, he does have a half tieback. Should we do a different color? You don't know what he's been doing. Or the color, you could fix the color. They're saying that these are the colors that I selected for Fresh Cut Grass. I know, they can't swing it. It's tough. Well, he does have blue and white hair. But you want to make it more, yeah, but it's not quite-- But there's blonde in there. I'm open to criticism. Okay, let's go. Let's do it. Let's explore. Hairstyle, hair color. You're good. It's definitely blue. Okay. Black? Can it be dark blue? You also can do highlights. Darker blue? It's the highlights is the problem. Blue. Ooh, that's cool. A little burnt. "Robbie, how was it working on 'Cyberpunk?'" We gotta do the highlights. "Cyberpunk?" This person says they bang River every play through. Yes. That's the kind of loyalty I'm looking for. (laughs) River definitely has a Q dick. Pull that slider all the way. All the way to Q? It really is nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's pretty nice. Yeah, okay. Now let's go into highlights. Maybe dark blue on top. Yeah. DANI: Like it was an ombre. I don't know how to do an ombre, is that possible? Yeah, you go down one more, highlights. Although go down one more before highlights. Okay, we'll go down one more. It's just color. Okay, that's good. You have the highlights. It's color. Is there different types of highlights? Yeah, look at what you got. It's a white, right? White. Ah, that's better. That's much better. That's better. Cool it down a little bit. Yeah, or you can put a little blue in the highlight if you like. A little blue. There's highlight and then there's some other thing too. There's a gray tone. The gray tones we could pull out too. I have some graying happening. "Who are you cheering for to make it to the Super Bowl this year?" Cowboys. You. So now here's the thing. (laughs) Except for Robbie and I, if you can name two teams that are still in the playoffs, you'll have my respect for today. Oh boy, I watched the Cowboys game and I watched another game that day. Uh-huh? The Rams game. Uh-huh, so are the Rams in or out? No, the Rams lost by one point. TRAVIS: And who did they lose to? I don't remember. (laughs) What color-- And that's my team and I don't remember. You don't give me an automatic pass. That's my team and I didn't watch it because I knew they were going to lose. What colors were they wearing? See it in your mind's eye, take yourself back. In my mind's eye, I remember Green Bay Packers but that's not true. That was a different game. (laughs) Who were the Green Bay Packers playing last week? Were they playing the Cowboys? They could have been. Oh Jesus. All my football's getting mixed up. I was over at my in-law's house. I was distracted, they had games on. One team in the playoffs. There's a bunch still. I'm prepared for the crazy cat's eyes or the O-rangers. That's Taliesin. I think the Packers beat the Cowboys. Marble League is more my sport. And I think that-- That's all I can say. The Seahawks beat the Rams? Dolphins? (laughs) No. I suck. The Raiders? I saw half of the game. The Detroit Lions. They did, that's right because Eminem was coming up in all of the promos. Because of Detroit, yeah. Because of Eminem. Yeah, every five minutes, it would cut to a shot of Eminem. Yeah, the big underdog teams because I know you cheer for underdogs are the Detroit Lions have-- Yes. Been terrible for so long. I don't know what they're talking about either. The Rams and the Lions traded quarterbacks Quarterbacks, yeah. A couple years ago. Stafford, Safford? Matthew Stafford. Stafford. Highland Park. And Goff? Oh my god. Goff? Jared Goff. Goff? Yeah. More skunk-like. They switched. Dude, the ombre's pretty close. I saw the whole game and I couldn't remember who played. That's so good, that's great, you're doing it. It's a little too bright. You're doing it, Peter. Think you can tone up the skin a little? My name is Sam. (laughs) Don't even fuck with that. Let's get a little closer. Yeah. It's a little too bright. C.J. Stroud and the Texans. That's also a fun team to cheer for. I'm into this. Are they still in it? They are. Who's going to win it, Travis? Who's going to win it all? That's too gray. I think the Ravens. I'm going to let them do this for one more. Oh yeah, no, you got it. The Ravens? Was I right about the Packers beating the Cowboys? You were. Okay, okay. I've got to I've got to reel this back in because-- That's fine. The audience is probably enthralled but-- Oh, sorry, sorry. You're losing me with this. Oh, question for Taliesin. (laughs) Oh shit. Favorite sports ball? Marble League doesn't count? (laughs) Have you ever gone to a game of any kind, besides Marisha's boxing? Oh, I love that. No, I used to when I was younger, I would go to the Dodger games all the time. I really enjoy the Dodgers and the Angels. I would also, just because we were so close to the park over here, I watched some polo. Some what? Polo on horses. Oh. I used to watch polo games. I saw one of those. Because we were right by Griffith Park and I loved that. There's polo grounds in Griffith Park? Yeah, yeah. I went to one farther out west I feel like somewhere. Yeah, no, we've got ones that are pretty local and I haven't been in years, but yeah. Make our other character. Baseball games-- Go fast, speed run. It'll go fast. Speed run, speed run. I don't have the-- Oh, handsome, just like Fjord. I don't know, my life has changed too much to really enjoy that. But I'll go watch a game. Oh yeah. Christina has dragged me to some women's soccer. You're doing very good. Oh yeah. Which is delightful. I bet it is. Oh yeah, this one? The beer is terrible. I watch a lot of clips of women's soccer on TikTok. As a live show, I forgot how visceral it is and I'm aware that it's not the British football. You know what? Taliesin and I are going to go on record and say when Travis talks about sports, it's boring. When you talk about sports, also boring. Also boring. Yeah. (laughs) Now you know what it feels like. It really is just boring, period. It's boring when you talk but it's so boring, I forget that you do. (laughs) Oh my god. Cool. You got to go hair quick. You got to get that hair on. I got it. You got to get that hair on there. God, what's a fun one? Yeah, yeah, no, no, no. Question for all, "What's a hobby you would like to pick up?" Oh. Hello. Sleep? No. Yes, my love. My wife has been-- I play the bass guitar. Oh god. No, your wife is, whoa. My wife has been doing a lot of light sabering. Yeah. And she said she might teach me how, so we'll see. I think that's a great idea. I am an accountant. (laughs) Those videos are, yeah. She's really good. Really cool. King of the high seas. Totally bro, king of the high seas. Lord of the CPAs. Tusks up. Ooh. Yeah. I like them. I don't know. I'm trying to think of a hobby. Trying to think of a hobby that you're interested in. I don't even know anymore. I think you go handsome. Handsome? But that's as handsome as it gets. I think you go handsome. This is the only orc that there is? Green. Oh, the guy. Green skin. I think they're doing the orcs too dirty here. No, but did you pick face? That's all I got, yeah. That's as good as it is. No, no, there's face types, aren't there? I did. Is this all? Yeah. No, no, no, on the top. Yeah. Body type. He did it. Face, right there. This is the handsomest orc. Oh, that's it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. These are more full orcs, I feel like. It's unfortunate. Oh boy. There's no half-orc? He is distinguished. I think there are half-orcs. I think you got to do a home brew. There are half-orcs. Home brew. A humie? Oh god, do we dare? Maybe elf so we get the pointy ears. There might, I don't know. You're going to do a human Fjord? Yeah, I thought so, right? Okay. Yeah, it's a shame you won't get the teeth, although the teeth are tiny anyway. I was just trying to think of what has tiny teeth that works for that shade, you know? Whoa! Ah, help. That's fun. (humming classic "Hulk" theme) Okay, enough. Was that the old Hulk theme? That was, yeah, thank you. (humming classic "Hulk" theme) Great Hulk. Yeah, I forgot. Wow. Back to the chat. Don't go home. This one's for Robbie. Yeah. What? "What would Dorian's signature fragrance be?" I'm big on that question. Oh. Do you know anything about fragrances? I do, a little bit. You do? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you get those samplers every year? No. Usually I'll pick a new fragrance when I haven't moved on from something. So this year, I did Creed Aventus, which is nice, no? SAM: I don't know anything about it. Oh man, I'm deep into this. Are you? This was all during that thing that we shot that I can't talk about with a bunch of people, this was the conversation. People brought things in to share. Creed Aventus? Aventus was what I asked for for Christmas this year from my wife and it's easy because I sometimes feel like husbands are hard to shop for. Sure. But I had been wearing as my go-to my dad's cologne almost my entire life. English Leather? No. Do you know how to describe colognes? I made him blonder. Actually no. (laughs) Nice. Flanka. Desert Island. Do you know what the base tone, mid tone, high tone vibe? I'm not too in the game. What's the vibe? Is it dirt, is it leather? Creed Aventus or my dad's? Your dad's. My dad's is Obsession by Calvin Klein. Huh. A classic fragrance. Shave that beard. Deep and rich, it's a great cologne. It's a great everyday cologne. Wow. Can't go wrong. Won't break the bank. I've been wearing that since I was 15. Classy, classy. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very classy. But I like to mix it up sometimes, I got a few. I have a pile, it's really unfortunate. Really? A pile? What's your current go-to? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right now-- I want to know how you smell. Oh boy, you're going to love this. I splurged because there was a cologne I used to have years and years and years ago and I found one bottle of it on the internet that was not too expensive because it's been out of print forever. Drakkar Noir. (laughs) Cumming. Cumming? It's called Cumming? It's called Cumming? Mm hmm. Is it tongue-in-cheek? It is a cologne made for Alan Cummings. Oh, good. Is it? Yeah, Alan Cummings had a fragrance called Cumming the Fragrance. That's amazing, Cumming. They also made a soap, Cumming in a Bar. They made a body lotion, Cumming All Over. Cumming All Over. Cumming All Over. Air spray, Cumming in the Air. Alan Cumming, you are a genius. Cumming On Your Face, there was a whole series. Wow. But yeah, the smell is wonderfully, I don't know what to say other than wonderfully bisexual. Yeah? Wow. It's got a leather dirt tone but then it gets really-- Go, go, go. I don't want to say floral but it's got a poppy kick to it. It's really lovely and I have one more bottle and then it's all gone. So you just made beard Fjord, is that right? Yeah, I just made a hot Nordic-themed Fjord. Speed run. Fjord. Yeah, speed run. Speed run of who, who am I doing? Pick a Scanlan or a, you know? Or a Nott? We just did a green, so why don't we do a Scanlan? Or a meat man, whatever you're in the mood for. I want to do my EXU character. Oh yeah. (laughs) Just kidding. Attempt to make yourself, which is always great. It doesn't matter, sure, forest. Oh no, no, I'll make a Candela. Yeah. You guys, I saw a couple weekends ago my first Candela cosplay group. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. They were all playing their OCs. It was like the cutest thing I ever saw and then an hour later, a sweet lady and I think it was her daughter, her daughter was doing Jester and she was doing her Candela character. Get out here. What? It was very cool. Their OCs? Yeah. No nods to the Doctor? No nods to the Doctor, no. But they were all done up. That's awesome. It was really cool. Yeah, man. You put logo somewhere and you're just fucking going. Yep. We should do some live Candela stuff. Man. Wait, I'm going to make a note. She had the pin and everything, she was-- Oh yeah? Dedicated to the craft. That's great. Dude, I think a whole room of that, that aesthetic is just so fucking great. Yeah. Spooky. I don't know what to say other than yes. Speed run. (laughs) This is very speedy. I'm just making some choices. He's got the old lady blue hair where the dye didn't quite take. Where oh, they're not punk. They just had an accident. Taliesin, make the owlbear from the Darrington Brigade. (laughs) It's all costume though. That's the problem is it's all, yeah here, take this one. That's all costume. Demonic blue, I don't want demonic blue. Your viewer retention is so high. (laughs) I love that someone remembers that character because he was so fun and stupid. I loved him so much. Question. Yes? "Who is your favorite character from any campaign to see a cosplay of?" I'll make an addendum. It can't be one of your own characters. Ooh, that's a good question. Oh, well that changes things. Boy, I tell you what. When Vax in his full wings and Deathwalker's Ward is done really well, it's pretty staggering. But the same can be said for Keyleth with-- That's true. The flowing gown of leaves and antlers and the whole smash, it's just awesome. The one I was just thinking of, I don't think I've ever seen a Doty. I've seen a couple but not in-person. I'd like to see that. I don't know, who am I impressed by? Everyone's always looked so bloody good. I've really enjoyed the Laudnas I've seen so far. Yes. Because there's a lot of subtle work in there. That's true, that is true and it takes a brave person to take on a Grog because that's just all body paint. (laughs) Yeah. They're out there. You've got my respect. Oh, deep respect and I have respect for anyone who dares try and make a Molly coat and I'm so delighted and I love when I see them in the wild on occasion. "What is Sam doing?" (laughs) I just picked a question. Boy. We left him alone. No, no. That's a real question. Is that Scanlan? Of course. Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to do a speed run Scanlan. What? Wait, okay, where in the timeline is this Scanlan? I don't know yet. Okay. (laughs) He's a work in progress. Ooh. For everyone, favorite sci-fi or fantasy novel or show? Oh god. Oh. I mean, Dr. Who's back, motherfuckers. Whoo! That's true, that's true. All right. One of my faves. Oh man, there's so much good stuff. I know, that's just my momentary. I just start reading- "End of the Way"? "Mistborn". Oh yeah. Oh, Sanderson? Yeah. Nice. Is it only fantasy or sci-fi? Fantasy, or sci-fi, yeah, or show. Aw. Novel, sci-fi, or show. It's not favorite, but I'm on book two of "The Three-Body Problem" right now. Ooh. Ooh, my goodness gracious. I'm unfamiliar. If you like near-future sci-fi with a really interesting perspective, it's the best. Chinese writer, starts at the cultural revolution in the '60s, goes through just past current day. Great, great, great books. That's awesome. They're awesome, I'm really enjoying it. What's it called, "The Three-Body Problem"? "Three-Body Problem" is the name of the series, yeah. I'm reading "The Darkest Forest" right now. Great book. Oh, this is very relevant, because at the end of the year, everybody was sick, "What are your favorite things to do when you're sick? Any favorite snacks, or drinks, or things that you can't live without? You can't say water, you simple bitches." Frozen Pedialyte. That's what they said, that's what Dani wrote. But no. ROBBIE: Oh, that's good. Yeah, Pedialyte pops are the fucking best. Pedialyte pops are good. Yeah, we got some of those for the kid. Matzah ball soup. Yes, oh yes, so much. Oh wow. That's when I know I'm deep in the shit. What a winner. If I'm ordering in matzah ball soup- Uh-huh. it's gone bad. That is the ringer. I'm a big fan. I have a collection of movies that are literally, I call them the fever list, which I know I'm going to hate them, so I want to be semi-conscious when I watch them. Oh yeah. That's how I saw the original "Tomb Raider" film was with 101, 102, just going. (gasps) (laughs) So. I watched "Young Frankenstein" after I had my wisdom teeth out, it was the best, that was the first time. That's gotta be weird to watch while-- It was really good. Oh man. Really, really good. I love that movie. (sighs) Usually when I have a cold, my go-to is a really thick milkshake. TALIESIN: Ooh, that sounds like that would be a problem. Why? Just the mucus, okay. SAM: (laughs) Just the mucus. (laughs) Just the mucus. Just the mucus. It feels like it wouldn't even bother hitting your stomach, and go right back to the sinus. I want to know what is happening right now. (laughs) I'll tell you what, I'm failing. Oh. (laughs) I don't if that's true. I don't know. I like him. I do, too. I don't know who he is. Is that Scanlan? The eyeshadow's good. If Scanlan and Darrington had a big child maybe. Yeah, the hair is so-- Who is this? (laughs) Someone is asking- Oh. "Are you trying to do a Taryon-Scanlan crossover?" That's what I was thinking, it was definitely a-- The portal's crossed. Taryon Scanlanton. I don't know (laughs) how to do Scanlan. Okay, you're gonna hurt yourself. (laughs) Come on. I think I broke Scanlan. Let's start over, and I will take a request. Okay, here we go. All right. TRAVIS: Thanks, Tiffs Ray. Man. They had to go, so I goodbye. Oh, well. These questions are going fast, I can't even hold on to one before it rips away. "First person to give Scanlan," no, "Sam noogie gets a dollar." Not happening. (laughs) Don't you even think it? (laughs) How dare you even think of demeaning me on live television? I would never, never. These people watching the show respect me. (laughs) Nobody does. "Question for all, are you guys okay?" (laughs) TALIESIN: Do you watch our show? No. (laughs) Yeah, baby. (sighs) No, we're just not. "Sam, stop looking at your phone." All right. No. Oh, "A question for everyone, especially Dani. What is your favorite unanswered conspiracy theory about Exandria?" Ooh. Hey. "That you either discovered because of in-world play or just for fan speculation?" That's great, wait, unanswered conspiracy theory? Yeah, yeah, something with no spoilers, I assume, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something that we don't know if it's true or not? Yes. Yeah, it can be a fan theory, it can be canon. I've heard some conspiracies about Ludinus, but I want to hear Dani's answer. I don't know, I know things, and I also know that certain things aren't true, so that's hard for me. (laughs) I'm interested in, I really love all the conspiracy theories about Delilah's past 'cause-- No, it's not pre-recorded. Guys, we're fucking live. I know. He just got an answer in real time. (laughs) No, you're doing good. No, you answered a pre-recorded thing. Anyway, I'm interested in, there's conspiracy theories about Delilah's past that I've seen- Okay. that I think are kind of cool. And yeah, I don't know, this is hard, this is a very difficult one. I also just really love everything that has to do with the moon. Wow. It's hard because I was always just obsessed with Ruidus, and now we're working on that. Mm. So it feels weird to say Ruidus. TRAVIS: Nice. That's actually not bad. Anyway, think that's all I got. I'll think about it. Strainer said, "Can we get on with (laughs) the game already? I thought you guys said you weren't going to spoon forever in character creation." No. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, we are actually in fact spooning forever- No, you scared bitch. in character creation. (laughs) We didn't say that ever. (laughs) Bro, no. We specifically said, "We are only doing character." This is just character creation. We never start. We're not getting out of the game. Go get yourself a copy. (laughs) Imagine just staying on this stream for two hours waiting for us to start. (laughs) You're audience retention is through the roof. That's art. You've lost next to no one. Honey, I think they're going to start playing pretty soon. (laughs) (laughs) Yeah. It's just around the corner. (laughs) We're about to start. Yep, any second now. This one's for Travis, "For art purposes, and will you answer this, what color was Chetney's hair when he was younger?" Ooh. "Are you allowed to say?" Or you can hold onto your secrets. Ooh. Boy's gotta have (laughs) his secrets. He wasn't blonde. Okay. I would assume. ROBBIE: All right, we'll leave it at that. Why'd you look at me? Not blonde. I don't know. (laughs) Well, if I told the hair color, it might reveal certain lineages. Oh. (laughs) You mean like Orym's hair color? You mean like the exact color of Orym's hair because you're Orym's dad? Nope, I made toys. You made one Orym-shaped toy. (laughs) I feel really good about this role I'm going through right now, so. Ooh, this is Mollymauk Tealeaf. Yeah, I'm doing a Mollymauk, 'cause they they wanted a Mollymauk. They are beautiful. Yeah, I'm really nailing it. Wait, is Mollymauk a they or a he? He's a he. Okay. But honestly, I'm sure he could be swayed in an awful lot of ways, 'cause the identity is delightful. Mm-hmm. Yeah, eh, tattoos are the wrong color. "Secret hair color." "Slowest playthrough ever." I'm wearing the Chetney shirt 'cause people keep asking. And it's awesome. It's available, It's available online. It's available at shop.critrole.com. And underneath it, I actually have the Candela shirt, the blueprint shirt. Ooh. Thanks a lot. What'd you say? Oh, sorry. Oh. That's just destroying the microphone, sorry. That's awesome. Sorry. Can they see up my skirt here? No, let's hope not. Who knows what's under there? Aw. Delights. Turkish delights. (laughs) TRAVIS: "Is Chet Scanlan's dad?" No. Are you sure about that? Man, wouldn't that be cool though? Are you sure about that? Scanlan's dad did make things. TRAVIS: He did. Oh wow. Oh wait, let's find some good, no, I don't want that. Oh no. "Is Chetney Fjord's dad?" Yes. (laughs) Hell yeah. Yes, 100%. Oh, that's a lot. "Question for Robbie, what was your favorite Campaign Three episode that you were in? What was the most challenging thing about starting out the campaign?" Mm. To me? Yeah. The most challenging thing? TRAVIS: Hey, I don't know. (sighs) Imagine, I've made this analogy before, sports analogies, everyone loves 'em, baby. Let's go, baby. (snores) That's their favorite, that's what you're here for. Imagine you've barely ever thrown a baseball in your life, and then they're like, "Hey, baby, come pitch for the Dodgers." Good luck." Yeah, Majors. (laughs) Yeah, you guys are so seasoned and so skillful, and that was the scariest part about it, was whether I could even hold my own at the table with all of you, even though I'd had a taste of it at EXU. So that was the most intimidating part, but as performers and players, you guys are so welcoming and comforting, it went away immediately. So the hardest part was also the easiest part. And my favorite episode was the two-parter, the ball. I mean, the ball was so banger, so much fun. So many cool moments. So good. And I also think everybody was playing wild at the ball. Yeah. I feel like nobody was fully sunk in, sunk in to their own paths and stuff, and we were all just kind of figuring shit out. And I really enjoyed those two episodes the most, that was really fun for me. Yeah. Yeah, and I think Matt did some really cool stuff to sort of support us all, in the choices that we were making, those felt really good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's awesome. Good question. "Question for Sam. Are the Brenattos planning on having more children?" They're certainly trying. Aw. Oh my god. TRAVIS: Can't keep a good halfling down. (laughs) That's a good question, maybe they should have another kid. That's actually pretty good. These are great questions, I can't even-- Mm-hmm. I know, I think they've been just pent up for so long that people are like, "Finally." "Is Chetney Pike's dad?" (laughs) Listen, guys, (laughs) I'm the Godfather, okay? (laughs) That's not bad. I got my sperms all in your families. (laughs) Dani, what do you think of the hair? Not color, but just the cut? Oh, that's lovely. All right, all right. DANI: It's not right, but it's lovely. No, I mean, I'm trying to figure it out. DANI: It's Molly coded. Yeah. Oh man. This is live, Lynzec. Lynzec? It's live, it's not a recording. No, we are definitely live. "Question for Travis." We're as shocked as anyone. I don't know. (laughs) Did you bail? Wow. Did you bail on the question? I don't know. (laughs) I'll ask it. ROBBIE: Is it lack of trust of the question? I'll ask it. Yeah. No, it was a good question actually, I just-- "Oh no, Molly's hot," they said. Yes. "Question for Travis, what made you decide for Chetney to hate Dorian?" Because Chetney is Chetney's own dad. (laughs) Oh shit, that's the reveal? Oh, no, 'cause I thought it was so great that Bertrand and Dorian had this amazing chemistry and relationship, and this great give and take, and such a terrible sendoff for Bertrand. And so I thought it was (laughs) just wickedly appropriate to sit in, and then absolutely (laughs) fuck with Robbie- There we go. as soon as I got in, and it was just torture. It was perfect. Ah, but (laughs) little did Travis know that teasing is my love language. It was perfect. Ah. Oh god, you played it so well. (laughs) That was just the best. (laughs) Just the best, little hazing. Question is, "Fresh Cut Grass, Henry Crabgrass's dad?" (laughs) Ah, that's funny. "Sam, what is under the robes?" Triple question marks. A kilt. (laughs) A kilt. But what's under the kilt? "Chetney is Predathos's dad? (laughs) Oh, thank god, I can change the horns. Okay. It's so good. This is what I needed. (laughs) This is where it all comes together, baby. Yeah, no, really, there we are. Gonna do one of these. ROBBIE: Yeah, oh wow. Just really get down. The colors, too, right? Look at that gam. (laughs) "Favorite quote from Campaign Three, 'Why is you so mean to me?'" (laughs) Yeah, the thing I hate most about that is that Sam clocked my fuck up right away. (fingers snapping) (laughs) He always does. It was immediate to just going, "Ah, what'd you fucking say?" (laughs) This is not a bad vibe. What'd you say? Yeah, hold on. Oh no, yeah, no. Oh, (laughs) oh no, Ashley, don't worry, I won't show any genitals. Okay. Yeah, there's no Sam genital cam. I'm actually lower now, so it's a little more dangerous. (laughs) There's just a GUPA over here. "Question, any advice for first-time players or DMs?" (laughs) Players. Was that a question? Take risks. Yeah, "Any advice for first-time players or DMs?" Oh. Stay flexible, go with the flow. Yeah, throw out the rules when you need to keep the story going. Get your preconceived notions. I'm not saying don't be cautious, but realize that there are worse things than dying on graph paper. TRAVIS: Dying on graph. Dying on graph, no cap. Yeah. And if you're running a game for kids, don't tell them that anything is off limits, 'cause they just won't go there. Mm-hmm. Oh. (laughs) Apparently. (laughs) They're the opposite of the people that I play with. Yeah. (laughs) That was a good Mollymauk. Yeah. What do we do now? Is that the show? Do we just end the show? I don't know on that-- I think so. We're good, that's perfect. We did a speed round. Yeah. We made our character. Wait, did you do a speed round? No, no, no, but I think that this is the way, I think this is the way. Do you wanna do your speed round? No, no, I think this-- What would you do? You said you were going to do-- No, no, no. What if you made some beefy barbarian or something? I think this is perfect. No, but you said you were going to do your EXU character. Are you dadding me right now? (laughs) And trying make me feel good about my stuff. Of course. No, I think this is perfect. This is too good, this shows that we can do this well, and Taliesin proved it, at the end of the day. I think you're getting out of things, personally. Are you dadding me? (laughs) Molly's really awesome actually. Maybe. (laughs) You're dadding the dad. This is a dad-off. Ooh. I'm just handing this to you. Do you want to press Start- It doesn't mean you have to do anything. and play the game now? (laughs) There's a game? Thought this was the game. That is the one button we're not supposed to do. Oh, that's one of the two buttons, there is a button we were told not to touch. What was the button we were supposed to do? You can play if you want to- Select. but I might end the stream. (laughs) Yeah, just press Select, I think. It was Select and Start. Was it Select? Yeah, they can mute it. Resume? That says resume. Oh, you're right. You should really turn one in. Oh. Oh, what? Oh. Well, I guess-- I have a headshot-- Load game? What? Everyone else can go-- I don't know how any of this works, I haven't had a PlayStation or Xbox in-- Quick load, X? I don't know. Just right in the middle of a bear-fucking scene. (laughs) Just resume. (grunts) (laughs) Let's get right to the bear fucking. It's the Deathclaw. Chat, this has been so great. Hey, Boo-Boo. Oh wait, chat never told me where to post my dick pic. (laughs) (claps) TRAVIS: They said Reddit. It's not your dick pic. Oh, they said Reddit. Don't say that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, clarify- It's not yours. clarify for them. How do I post it on Reddit? (laughs) I'm losing my voice. (laughs) If you get sick, I'll murder you. No, from shouting at chat. Oh, that's fair. (laughs) "Release the wang cut." (laughs) Oh my god. Oh god. Oh man. Yeah. This cut is just this wang picture. Aw, so good. You can actually say that it is uncut, technically, so. Says, "Please do more lives." Maybe we will do more lives. It's really fun. Actually, this was really nice. Sporadically. It's not that we don't want to. Yeah. We are so incredibly busy making all these amazing stories and different projects, and obviously bringing in amazing people like Robbie, and schedules have to mix and merge. And so I think this was great, we should do it again sometime, don't you? I would love it. I especially think that the other four folks should do this. I don't know if anybody cares about them. (laughs) I think this is the winners' circle. I think, next time, we do it at your studio and not ours. But if they do it, should they do "Baldur's Gate" again or should they do just a different? TRAVIS: Did you say, "'Baldur's Gate'"? What did I say? "Baldur's Gate". "Baldur's Gate". "Baldur's Gate". Oh my god. Oh boy. (laughs) Well, it's not like "Baldur's Pants", it's "Baldur's Gate". ♪ We don't know how ♪ ♪ To wrap up stream ♪ (laughs) I don't know, do you? We'll do it again. We need another sick day. TALIESIN: Adult, adult. We need an adult. Oh yeah, Taliesin, you started us off, you finish us off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, I'm going to walk around and start sneezing on all the doorknobs. (laughs) We need another-- Wait, no, let's summon an adult by going and taking our clothes off. No. (laughs) (laughs) It's the magic spell. We should say thank you to everybody that joined us tonight. It was an absolute pleasure. If you dogged on us for the Cowboys, I'll find you later. He will. (laughs) And thank you so much. We'll be sure to do this again. Those of us that were sick, they clearly don't care about you as much as we do. Not nearly. (laughs) We give you the- Penis, say, "Penis." (laughs) Penis. (laughs) (claps) Got him. It's not that hard, man. D penis. Yeah. ASHLEY M.: End stream. Oh. I just posted it to Reddit. Right now.

Channel: Critical Role

Views: 707,649

Keywords: critical role, travis willingham, sam riegel, taliesin jaffe, dungeons and dragons, crit role, role playing game, dungeons & dragons, critical role d&d, voice actor, critical role campaign 3, campaign 3, bells hells, robbie daymond, baldurs gate 3, larian studios

Id: 3kGyyTzrUCc

Length: 114min 21sec (6861 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 22 2024