(buoyant music) - [Junior] Hey, dad,
why don't I have teeth? (both screaming) (both screaming) - Whoa, whoa, whoa, okay, slow down, guys. Why did you guys run in here like that? What's going on? - Well, we made a
groundbreaking discovery today. Do you wanna tell them, dad? - Am I allowed to? - If you must. - Okay, guys. So we found out today
that Junior has no teeth! - Yes, he does, Bowser,
you just can't see them. - Well, see, that's what I thought, too, but Junior, his teeth, they just... They just don't exist! They just... (panting) The teeth! - (sighing) It's just
them being stupid again. Why don't we just give
them them a quick solution so that they leave? Well, guys, if you're so
concerned about Junior's teeth, then why don't you like, take him to the dentist or something? - The dentist? You know? That's not that bad of an idea. I mean, I think I could
take Junior to the dentist. They would know how to fix his teeth. - Well, wait, what's a dentist? - He's just joking, guys. Junior, come with me to
the bathroom right now. - [Junior] Why? Why do I have to?
- [Bowser] Junior, come on. (door slamming) - Wait a minute. Don't we technically
not have teeth either? Why are they acting like this is unusual? I mean, we don't even have a mouth. - Yeah, that's what was thinking, too. I was gonna bring that up, but they don't even have
the IQ of a bookshelf, so it's not like they
would understand it anyway. There's no point in convincing them. - But dad, what are you doing? - Okay, Junior, so apparently
I've raised you really poorly, so I'm gonna need to get you fixed up before we go to the dentist. - Okay? Well, how are you gonna do that? - Well, first of all, I
kind of have to ask you, have you ever brushed your teeth? - Oh, yeah, of course I have. Who doesn't? - Okay, okay, thank god. Okay, that's a relief. But what do you use for your
toothbrush and toothpaste? - [Junior] Well, for my toothbrush, I use that green one over there. - Okay, okay, that's good. Okay, so he has a normal toothbrush. Now, what about your tooth paste? What do you use for toothpaste? - For toothpaste I use that
blue and green thing over there. (shocking sound) - [Speaker] Bro, what the hell, bro? - You use shaving cream as toothpaste? - Well, yeah, why not? I mean, it's soft, it cleans your face, so it must clean your teeth, too. - Oh, my god. Okay. We have a lot to work on, Junior. - What's the issue, though? I've been using that my whole life. - That, Junior. That is the problem. You're not supposed to be
using shaving cream as tooth... Oh, my god, I don't even
understand how you're not like, sick from putting all
that stuff in your mouth! Oh, my god, okay, Junior, look, I'm gonna have to show you
how to brush your teeth, okay? With an actual tooth paste. So we're gonna be using
an actual toothpaste, and then I'm gonna make
you use mouth wash, and then we're gonna be
doing some flossing, okay? And then we'll go to the dentist. - I don't wanna go to the
dentist, this is stupid. But at least I already know
how to do one of those, but I don't really know what
has anything to do with this. Like, why are we flossing? Are you gonna make me hit
the Griddy too or something? Like, why are we bringing
dancing into this? - Is that the joke you
guys are waiting for? The flossing joke? 'Cause there it is. There's a joke right there. Okay, Junior, we got a lot to work on. Let's just get to it. (buoyant music) - (grunting) All right,
Junior, let's just sit here until a worker comes and talks to us. - Okay, dad, I don't really know if
I wanna be here, though. I feel like it's gonna be scary. - No, don't worry about it, Junior. The dentist isn't scary. The scariest part is the X ray. Those lights get pretty bright. - What do you mean? How bright? - Hello, welcome to
Mushroom Kingdom Dental. How may I assist you guys? - It's you! You're the big light man! - The light man? What? What is he talking about? - I don't know. He's being kind of paranoid today. But, look, I was just trying
to take my son to the dentist because he's never
really been there before, so I just kind of wanna
educate him, you know? Show him what it's like. - Oh, a first timer? Okay, then, how old are you, little man? - Seven. - Your kid is seven and he's
never been to the dentist? - Well, I don't know. I just forgot, I guess. - Well, I guess it's
better late than never. So I'll just go set up an
appointment for you guys, okay? - Okay, got it. Thank you, sir. Okay, Junior, now, remember what we talked
about in the car, okay? Don't freak out once
you're in there, okay? - I'll try to, but not
after what you told me! - Forget what I said, Junior. There's nothing to be afraid of. - (moaning) Hi. - Hi. - So, you like teeth, right? - Dad, what is wrong with this guy? - I don't know, Junior. Just ignore him, okay? - Okay, I'll try to. - (moaning and grunting) You
didn't answer my question. You like teeth, right? You do? - Dude, what is your problem? And what are you even doing here? You don't even have a mouth. - I come here sometimes
to hang out, and yeah. - Hang out? With who? There's nobody here. - I like to hang out with the teeth. - [Dentist] Bowser Junior, you're up. - Okay, Junior, you better go now. You don't wanna be around
this guy any longer, do you? - No, no, I really don't. But I don't wanna be
around the dentist, either! It's gonna be too scary! - Come on, Junior, I brought
you all the way out here. You have to go. - [Dentist] Next patient,
Bowser Junior, are you there? - Junior, come on. - (moaning) Okay, dad. All right, guys. I'll see you on the other side. - Dude, it's just a dentist appointment. - No. It's a lot more than
a dentist appointment. It's my life. (buoyant music) Where'd you go? I wanted to have a civil
discussion about teeth. - Yep, I don't regret my decision. (scary music) - Junior? what are you doing behind that wall? - I have a fear of rooms? Dude, I don't know, okay? I'm just really scared. - (laughing) Come on, Junior. There's nothing to be afraid of. Anyways, welcome to my dental office. Why don't you have a
seat right over there? - Okay, Chris Hansen, you
don't have to say it like that. So this is the dentist, huh? Oh, man, this is the last place
I wanted to be here today. Oh my god, oh my god. I don't know if I can handle it. - Oh, come on, Junior,
what did I tell you? It's gonna be fine. You're safe with me. Look, I'm gonna try to make this the best experience for you as possible. - Oh no, oh no. (panting) Oh my god. Oh no. Mr. Dentist guy, am I
gonna be here forever? - Yes, you bet you're
gonna be here forever. Now, why don't you stay down, and shut up, and let's cut into that
little scalp of yours, and see what yummy things we can find. - Oh my god! (panting) - What? What's wrong, kid? - I don't know, okay? I don't think my mind's right today. I don't think I should be here. - (chuckling) Nonsense, it'll be fine. Look, I'll tell you
what we're doing today. So, basically, whenever
kids come in for a checkup, you know, 'cause you're just
doing a little routine checkup, we usually just check up
on their teeth, their gums. You know, just make
sure everything's clean. And maybe we do some X rays,
and before you know it, you're out of here. See, being at the dentist isn't so bad. - But what about the part
where you cut open my scalp and you eat my brain? - That doesn't happen. I don't know where you heard that, but no, no, we don't do that. We just check up on your teeth. - Oh, okay. That sounds a little better, but it doesn't really
sound that much better. I don't want a random
guy touching my teeth. Get away from me! - Junior, every kid does this. It'll be fine. Now, let's just check up on your teeth. (bright music) - Junior? - Yeah? - Can you open your mouth for me, please? - My mouth is open. I'm showing you my mouth. - Do you really have no teeth? - Well, yeah, I have teeth. What do you mean? - [Dentist] Well, I
can't see them, Junior. - Oh, yeah, you can't see
my teeth from the outside. - Well, if you don't have teeth, then I can't really work with you. I don't know why your dad brought you here if you don't have any teeth. - Yeah, I don't know why my
dad brought me here, either. It's almost like I didn't really wanna
go to hell on Earth today, but he insisted. - Look, all I'm saying is I
can't work with you, okay? You don't have any visible teeth, so there's nothing we can do, okay? We only work with teeth. - Why do you care about teeth so much? Is that like, your secret thing? You guys are into teeth? - Dude, get out of here,
what are you talking about? - Okay, okay, I'm just saying
it's kind of weird, you know? I'll just get out of here. - Make sure you come back once
your teeth are fully grown! Well, now that he's gone. Man, this stuff tastes good. (sipping) - Okay, dad, the dentist said
that I have to go home now. - Go home? Are you finish already? Oh, no, don't tell me you snuck out
of the appointment, Junior. - No, but I can't say I
didn't have that idea. He said he can't work on me
because I don't have any teeth. - Wait, really? - Yeah, he said he can't work on me. - Oh, yeah. That actually makes a lot of sense now that I think about it. Okay, then, Junior,
we're gonna get you home, we're getting your teeth all grown out. - I'm gonna look like a vampire. Okay, dad, so how are we
gonna grow my teeth out to be big and strong? - Well, Junior, I decided to hook you up with some of the healthiest
things I could find! (buoyant music) - You know, this is the
outcome I was expecting, but I still don't like it. Dad, I don't wanna eat
all this healthy stuff! This is gross! Why is there milk here? - Come on, Junior, this was obvious. You need the healthy stuff 'cause, you know, it's healthy for you, so you know, like,
eating all that junk food is gonna rot your teeth. And about the milk, I don't know. I saw some commercial on TV that said milk gives you strong bones, so like, I mean, your teeth
are kind of like bones, so... I think it's gonna help you. - If you insist. So, you're sure this is
the only option, dad? - I mean, I don't know. I don't feel like
looking up any other one. I'm too lazy. - Okay. All right, I guess I'll
follow your advice, dad. I guess I'll just eat this healthy stuff. I have to eat lettuce by itself? - Dude, I don't know. I just grabbed this stuff from the fridge. - Okay. Okay, I'll do it. - Yeah. There you go, Junior, there you go. In a few short weeks, his
teeth should be all grown out. How you liking that apple, Junior? - Not that much, dad. I mean, it's not that it tastes bad, but just the thought that
its healthy is making it bad. - You'll get over it. Teenagers these days, so silly. (buoyant music) Okay, Junior, I already checked
you out at the front desk, so you can just have a seat wherever. - Okay, thanks, dad. All right, let's just have
a seat right over here. - So you don't wanna talk about teeth? - Dude, why are you still here? - [Dentist] Next patient, Bowser Junior? - Oh, thank god! - Why are my friends so mean? - Man, I never thought
I'd see this place again. - Is that a good thing or a bad thing? - Yeah, I'll let you decide. Anyways, I'm ready for my
dental appointment, I guess. I'm still a little scared, but
I'll try to make it through. - Well, I mean, that's a
better answer than last time, so all right, let's check out those teeth. (bright music) Whoa. Whoa, jeez. I don't know if I've seen
anything like this before, but man, this is gonna
be a lot to work on. - Why? What's wrong? Is it my hair? I was planning on
getting a haircut anyway, so I see what you mean. - Yeah, sir, it's your hair, apparently. You really don't know what's wrong? - [Junior] No, not really. - (sighing) Okay. Okay, that's fine. We can just... We can just try to work with this. - What do you mean? What are you gonna do? - Don't worry, nothing crazy is going on. We're just gonna do the usual checkup, but oh, man, it's gonna
take a miracle to fix those. But I'll try my best, okay? - Okay. That wasn't really that specific, so now I'm even more worried! - I mean, I guess it could be worse. This probably isn't the worst case I'm gonna deal with in my career, so I just really gotta hope
that this stuff helps him. Okay, time for a checkup. (Junior grunting)
(dramatic music) - This is scary, and
nothing's even happened yet. How is that even possible. - You're really still
doing this from last time? But look, I already told you
what we're gonna do, okay? You have nothing to worry about. - Wait, are you wearing
a mask on your mask? (bright music) Wait, what are you doing? - I'm just cleaning the
dirty stuff off your teeth. Don't worry about it. - Oh, okay. Is it gonna hurt? - Well, does it hurt right now? - No, not really. - Well, there's your answer. What kind of question is that? - I don't know, I'm just nervous. I'm trying to make small talk, okay? - Yeah, yeah, I get it. I should probably make
some small talk, too. So what's your favorite sports team? - I don't have a favorite sports team. - Oh, well, what's your favorite TV show? - I don't have a favorite TV show. - Oh, well, what's your favorite sport? - I don't have a favorite sport. - Okay, then what is there about you? - Well, recently, I've been getting into this
game called "Wizard 101." - Okay, the way you said that really sounded like a
sponsorship, but okay, cool. What do you do in that game? - I don't know. - Let's just get back
to the procedure, okay? - Okay, okay. - Yummy brain. Yummy, yummy. You like the sizzling sound? You like the sound of the sizzling grill when I put your brain on it? - (screaming) Don't barbecue my brain! Get that thing away from me! - Bro, what is your problem? We haven't even done anything yet. This is literally the first step. - Wait, so you didn't say
something about grilling my brain? - (sighing) It really is
one of those days, isn't it? Okay, okay, I guess I have
to roll out the big guns. - What? What does that mean? What does the big guns mean? I don't like the sound of that! - Look, child, this is the television. It plays TV shows. Now, what do you wanna watch, okay? Hopefully this will distract you. - You have a TV? Well, that's nice of him. Okay, let's see. What do I wanna watch before I get brutally
murdered by this guy? Can you put on the show that
my dad was watching last night? He was making really weird
noises while watching it. - No, what is wrong with you? I'm not doing that. I'll just put on whatever
kids network is on today. (TV sizzling) (dramatic music)
- [TV] You have 31 days. Run now. 31 days are left. Run, run, run, run, run. - Can you turn this off, please? - Yeah, I was thinking that, too. (grunting) Man, we got some
weird kids shows nowadays, don't we? - Yeah, that be the truth. Society be a weird place nowadays. Anyways, what are we doing now? - Well, we're still on procedure one 'cause you didn't really let me finish. You just kind of spazed out on me. So why don't we finish procedure
one, and get it over with, and then we can move on
to the next step, okay? - (moaning) Okay, I guess
I can agree to that. I don't really wanna agree to it though, because I don't agree
with it, but... (grunting) - Okay. Okay, let's just finish
procedure one, okay? - All right, got it, go. - Okay. (Junior screaming)
- What? - Nothing. - Okay. That was kind of a scary scream. Are you sure? - Yeah, yeah, everything's fine. - Okay. (Junior screaming)
- What? - Nothing, nothing, I didn't do anything. - Yes, you... Okay. Let's do this. You promise you're not gonna scream? - No, I won't scream. - Okay. - I mean, I didn't scream
in the first place, but- - Yeah, you... Okay. Let's just... (Junior screaming) Okay, okay, no, no, I'm
not doing this, okay? Procedure two time. Procedure two time. Or you can do it on
your own, I don't care. Just procedure two. - Wait, what did I do wrong? - [Dentist] You know what you did wrong! - Yeah, I know what I did wrong. I'm a silly little troller. Look at me, guys. This is the face of a silly troller. ♪ Lol lol lol lol lol
lol lol lol lol lol lol ♪ Yes, that's me. - Man, this has to be one
of the hardest patients I've ever dealt with. I mean, cleaning plaque off the teeth is apparently too much. That's only procedure one! Every child can do that. Okay, whatever. Time for procedure two. Okay, Junior, so for
procedure two, we're gonna be- - Why do you look like Harry Potter? - Okay. For procedure two, we're
gonna be basically doing the same thing with the plaque stuff, but I'm gonna be using this light. Now, I'm telling you ahead of time, because I feel like you're a baby and you're gonna freak out about it, so I had to make it a
whole separate procedure just for the light, okay? - Okay. That sounds fine with me. Oh, no. (dramatic music) The light. It tried to kill me. Yes, yes, I remember it now. (Junior singing indistinctly) I am minding my own business. (gasping) Oh, my gosh. What is that thing up in the sky? (dramatic music) Wait a second. For some reason, this kind
of feels like a bad idea. (Junior screaming) Oh, man. You're not gonna get me this time, light. You're not gonna get me this time! - Dude, what are you doing? You keep on getting distracted
by the most little things. Now, look, I'm gonna
turn this light on, okay? I'm gonna turn it on in three, two, one. (lamp exploding and ringing) - (screaming) Oh my god. Oh my god. That is the brightest thing
I've ever seen in my life! - Kid, this is getting really old. Now, let's just work on your teeth, okay? Okay, now, let's do this. - Okay. Are you sure you're not gonna stick that needle down my throat? - No, no, I'm not gonna
do anything like that. That's stupid. I don't know where you're
hearing this stuff. - I hear it from a lot
of high school movies. - Why would a high school
movie be about a dentist? - I don't know. - Okay. This is really awkward. We need the small talk back. So, kid, where do you go to school at? - Well, I'm not really
at school right now. It's a summer vacation. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I forgot about that. So how's your summer vacation going now? - Dude, my mouth is open. I can't really talk. - What's that? I couldn't really understand that, sorry. - Dude, I said... Okay, you know what? Whatever, just keep working
on my teeth or something. - Okay, okay, I get you. No small talk. Let me just get a little
bit of the right side there, and I think we're almost done. - Wait, really? Are you sure? Are you completely sure? - Yep, we're almost
done with procedure two. - I thought you meant the general. - Nope. We still got a lot to work
on before that happens. Okay, let's just clean up a little more off the right tooth right there. - Ow! That's my sweet tooth. I eat all my bad stuff on that side. Can you stop touching it? - Yeah, I don't really trust you now. You cried wolf too much, so I don't really believe
anything hurts you. Okay, almost done there. Hey, I have a question. Have you ever considered braces? - No. I only have two teeth, how
would braces even work on me? (Junior humming)
(bright music) (alarm ringing) Yeah, I think I'm gonna sue you for even making me imagine that. - Relax, buddy. Braces aren't anything to be ashamed of. A lot of normal people get braces. I mean, I had braces when I was your age. - Yeah, and now you mask
your whole face off, so what does that say about you? - You know what? That's actually a completely fair point. Jesus, you are a menace. - I wouldn't say that. I'm just calling it how I see it. Anyways, when is procedure three? - Well, from the looks of it, I've cleaned up all the plaque I could, so I think it is time for
procedure three, so all right, no more of this. All right, procedure three time. - Sweet! All right, then, what are we doing now? - Well, it's funny you say "Sweet," 'cause this is the part where you wash your
mouth out with this thing and you get to choose the flavor. So which flavor do you prefer? Cherry, cotton candy, or grape? - What if I don't want any of those? Ooh, what about cookies and cream? Do you guys have that? That'd be so yummy! - No, I don't think they
make cookies and cream for this thing. That's kind of a weird
and specific flavor. Look, just choose one of the three, okay? Cherry, cotton candy, or grape? - Okay. What about mint chocolate chip? - [Dentist] Choose one of the three! - Okay, okay, okay. All right. Cherry, cotton candy, or grape? I'm gonna go with cotton candy. - Okay, cotton candy it is. Open wide, kid. - Okay! All right, I got my mouth open. So what type of cotton
candy is this anyway? Like, is it blue, or
is it red, or is it... - Here we go. (Junior choking and coughing) - (laughing) Yes. Consume it all. And you know what? I changed the flavor from
cotton candy to toxic waste. Talk about a prank. (laughing) (Junior coughing) Okay, that's enough. Oh, man. Kid, you are a big baby, okay? I don't know what's wrong with you, but oh, my god, you're
even stressing me out. - (grunting) What happened? Where... Am I in heaven? Where am I? - No, but I think you'll be
pretty happy to hear this. You're on procedure four, the final steps. The last thing we have to
do is use this X ray camera, and take some pictures of
you, and then that'll be it. - Wait, you wanna take pictures of me? Ew, you weirdo, I'm not
letting you do that! - What? No, it's not like that. Okay, look, just get over here,
get in front of the camera, and I need to take some X
ray pictures of you, okay? - Okay, okay. Whatever else you sleep at night. So what do I do here? - Well, we're gonna take the pictures now. Okay, So time for picture one. (camera shutting)
- (screaming) Ow! Jesus, what are you
trying to do, blind me? - No, kid, I'm not trying to blind you, just trying to take some
pictures of your teeth. Okay, now we need one more,
so just stand on your side, like this. - Stand on my side? Okay, then. - Kid, you know what I
mean, not your literal side. - I thought you were
gonna laugh or something. I wanted to lighten up the mood. - Yeah, well, this
appointment's kind of gone on a bit too long for me to
wanna smile about anything. Okay, now, okay, you're on
your side, and second picture. (camera shutting)
(Junior screaming) - Well, at least it was
only in one eye that time. So what now? Are we done? - Almost. I just gotta go look at the
pictures on the computer and see how they look. (bright music) Oh. Oh, my god. Jeez, these have to be the
weirdest pics I've ever seen, but I can't tell him that,
though, but oh, my god. Yep, looking great. - Hey, thanks, man, I appreciate it. You're looking great, too, you know? - Yeah. Anyway, Junior, you're basically done. So I got a goodie bag right over here, and it's got some flosses
and some mouth wash in it. Now, make sure you use
this stuff every day, or else this appointment would
have been completely useless. And also, make sure you
brush your teeth everyday, and within a few short weeks, your teeth should be right
back to where they should be. - But I didn't have any teeth before. Is that what you're saying? - No, Junior. I'm saying they should be
pearly and white, okay? Pearly and white. Remember that. Pearly and white. - Pearly and white, pearly and white. Okay, thanks, Mr. Dental man. - No problem, Junior. Come back anytime! Oh, my god. (panting) Oh, my god, I'm finally done. That had to have been the longest
appointment I've ever had. I wish I could just clock
out right now, I'm so tired. What time is it? 10:00 A.M? (dentist grunting) - All right, dad, we
finished the appointment, so I'm just gonna meet
you in the car, okay? - Okay, Junior. I'll meet you there, too, thank you. Oh, my god. I can't do this anymore. - Teeth fact number 43. Depending on what you eat,
teeth can be different colors. They can be like, like blue if drink... Where are you going? I was gonna tell you of
the other 198 teeth facts. (sighing) Man. Why doesn't anyone wanna
listen to my teeth stuff?
