CORONAVIRUS: How to Turn Tough Times into Growth and Development - with Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche

[Music] hello good morning good afternoon good evening so before we continue to our talk today there are some questions some from last time and some I think two minutes before and I will answer the rest question later in relationship with others I still demand someone to take care of me as much as I take care of them I feel very sad if they don't meet my expectations how to deal with that feeling so yeah normally we all have some kind of like expectations that when we normally we want to help them but at the same time we are expecting that we get help from others but today the top the topic is a little bit a time and then the our title is how to over the top time so I transform top time so one of the most important in our life is what we could wisdom so wisdom meaning to understand the nature of reality how things they are so life is impermanent it's always change up and down up and down just like wave of the ocean so not only the your life the relationship the other person yourself so in your life if you help them try your best to help them but of course how you helped also limitation you cannot help a lot you cannot help more than your limitation but at the same time don't give up say the beginning of the lecture I said let it go but don't give up right this is very important so let it go except life is up and down so some if you help other people sometime they will help you sometimes not help you just okay the most important is from your sight whatever you can do according to your capacity your label your time your energy try your best to help but then turn your mind don't too tight on the resolve sometimes you help them sometimes they will not help you sometimes you help them but you cannot really help them sometimes you help them it will be really beneficial for them something you help them but it may become cause off that's okay let's the up and down so that's the life so accepting that it's important okay so so then of course this is the what I'm saying is view you meaning how to accept is but then you you have to meditate also you have to practice awareness so when this feeling upset or disappointed stone you wash your breath or listen to sound or mental recitation at the beginning of the lecture as three meditation techniques right then eventually you can watch the feeling the sensation in the body so these are the different parts so view and view begin with the cognitive level the belief level and then how to deal with the Tuareg with a feeling level the emotion level is the awareness I'm not to be in peace with myself and then I I piled this agitation towards my family yeah so so normally sometimes we confuse people our confuse because we go to the office and we are not happy we are having problem with our colleagues then that anger or hatred or 4 station bring to home sometime in our home we have some problem and dad stares of frustration bring to our work life in our office so I think the important is we try to set in our mind this through different situation different hat when you're in the family family hat then you go to in the office of his head when you're walking with their friends friends head so try to set in our mind different self so self as in the family member as when why whatever you are or children parent or self in your office boss or colleague or staff whatever or cell with the friends of family so try to change yourself different hat this is I think important then the meditation also you can use reading or the sound the three meditations and sensation and sometime if you're tired then just free with the open awareness of an awareness ministers just be as it is so try to deal to this practice will be beneficial how to help a twenty year old son who is very angry about this situation and taking his anger out on me so normally in the last video I talked about the religion how to improve relations specially with the pandemic right so normally first is peace what I mentioned is for activities what we call for enlightened activities peaceful enriching enrich or development magnetized powerful so we need for them you can see but first peaceful peaceful activity is be there kind soft listening special listening is really important so normally in the family members a lot of argument lot of and harmony begin with small things because our mind is normally very sensitive easy to dry so it's very sensitive our mind so normally when we not aware of that know even though you cannot control no problem sometimes you don't need to control just bring around catch the moment a bit down the easiness stuff that's kind of like fragile or mine just just catch so there really helps so when you transform then it helps to your friend member family member will transform eventually but if you already built this habit like arguing or or maybe you have you know your your son or daughter who already always blame to you I'm done it will take some time so you have to be more listening the time and one time to time and slowly so that person making sense oh yeah my father this kind is look at that history so the example it does one hand let's say like this way it does one hand cannot clap too so peaceful activities we're powerful actually and then also enrich meaning to learn to to create to develop something to some kind reward sometimes recognition sometime giving love compassion so please development second is like giving or creating so something which is develop and third it's magnetized meaning you become kind of like like model like source of inspiration just showing or set the example so this is really important and then the last is power powerful activity meaning there's some kind of like limitation some gram or sometimes need to let go for some time or change the environment sense the communication maybe so in the last video I have story about the husband and why was arguing all the time and I gave them homework that positive talk for half hour in the end they become five minutes only talk about positive things they put on and try to develop from them so then my okay what to do when compassion for others have become so intense that you want to turn it off but you can't so this is what we call normally compassion maybe wisdom some time just compassion alone the compare tense and sometimes compassion become very painful and then you feel like you're getting there suffering they obtain others pain to you and you will be not in peace so for that we need to develop wisdom so wisdom is right now today's topic is about the time so impermanent is list so up and down up and down you cannot help all the time and that is has to you have to accept them and everybody has their life their lives cruising up and down and you cannot connect them we cannot change time you cannot control the reality so extent life is like wave of the author so your life is a wave of awesome others life is also so that's the first step of what we call it wisdom so relatively wisdom then emptiness second give you no emptiness I am implement that that person is emptiness suffering of that person amazing but we are not recognized emptiness and we suffer we create our own son so this way an emptiness and compassion becomes Union so when emptiness compassion become Union then pain goes away it was compassion brings pain but if we develop compassion with emptiness the pain goes away but the compassion will develop so normally what we call non conceptual compassion so that is the compassion the communion with the emptiness meditation so if you understand emptiness you can do that if you're not then thing about empowerment accepting pardon I have this habit of giving up things in mind in life when I either get bored or tired any advice on keeping up with the steady formal meditation practice that good question I think many meditators ask this question normally so it's difficult to practice continuously so for that I think we need to think about three things the first is the our view and special we have to know what the meditations good for why we have to meditate the benefit the purpose the meaning special sense of meaning about the meditation so this is the view very important second is we need to get some experience about meditation to connect with our feeling our heart taste the flavor of meditation to get them just even few glimpse it's very third now that is the most important to build a habit so in order to build this habit it will take tradition on one week or three weeks to one month begin with new habit so every day I increase at least five minutes of meditation every day five minutes 20 minutes some people they do 1 hour regular meditation wonderful but if you cannot do one hour of hub hour don't promise at the beginning a lot just a little bit maybe just five minutes I do that for 30 days whether you like or don't like just think 30 days from now on and just do it and after 30 days later you will build a habit then after that is easy your habit is really beginning to form then after three months later or five six months later become very solid to heaven like brushing teeth no it's heavy everything if you are taking a shower you know when I go to retreat in the mountain people don't take shower it doesn't brush teeth and sometimes they come down to Kathmandu now I'm in the Kathmandu Batman do believe and Garmin is someone is quite whoa hot and now they come to come on and they have smell around 10 meters come from the mountain so something they come to me some blessing and then smell I know that someone be coming from mountain I sense in my room there are 10 meters away some time I asked them to take shower they say ok it keeps so and they reach a shower but the next day they don't want to take shower ok even you're paid because not happy so meditation become like that so that happened is you have to repeat again ok so it is not so easy but just think of 30 days after 30 days and if someone is always putting guilt on you instead of showing love and gratitude what can yeah this is the it's difficult sometime sometime you know we don't know what the path causes sometimes we have different biases we have also different experience that cause other people react to us or something or sometimes other people is really very stubborn and really always try to have habit so either case for activities I think it really helps and then if you cannot really change anything about the impermanent life is up and down with animal control but don't give up continue learn okay so now like you an a stop here so today topic is about them how to deal with the tough time turns from the tough time so normally what we believe is we all have great qualities what we call basic image goodness or our original nature or original purity so you all have awareness loving compassion wisdom skills power capacity potential so many things within us so as I mentioned before in the past lectures like if we have ten colleges within us nine of them are positive one is negative normally what we see is only one negative one we exaggerate and we don't see nine good colleges within us or within others about the world so it is really important that we need to discover them no matter what I call this example I think I tell this example before I want to remind is I can again what is the quality of the watch this watch right what do you say test time but if you have the best watch in the world if you don't know it is what can watch tell your time cannot you might thought it's just bracelet you know so what you cannot have time if you don't know it is life so these great colleges within ask we have to recognize but if you know recognize there's what we call a more so then we cannot discover these great colleges within ourself that the traditional example is if someone not recognized freshest stem in their home maybe diamond ten kilos of diamond many many diamond you know in their home but they don't but they don't know that is diamond and diamond cannot help you the house broken you don't have much things to eat much things to wear you're very poor but actually you have ten kilos of diamond but do you not recognize diamond so diamond is a campus of stone for you I say my piece of stone so therefore is really important to discover our this great College within ourselves how to discover this so normally there's three things that we will discover first is education learn study very important from cognitive level first understand then reason and second from the experiential level from feeling from them from the hat since feel it so experience of level of a 3-star number two we will discover things I'm a tree from the action name do something you know you stack and and special with the action and all this other tree is a special connection when we face Ivica situation when we face obstacle then it shall be grow we learn we will really think the tight sense we try to look for solution so sometime we are looks like everything's good then we cannot grow we are still in our circle they're still in our cocoon but suddenly we have faced big obstacle suffering and problem and that time we really grow we will go beyond our normal so what is really important make them difficult time top time you should really take it as learning process check it s to grow so normally I um tell the story I haven't had to start it quite a while yeah so 1998 there's some one of my friend in Malaysia so that time there they're facing the financial crisis the financial crisis in Moses so one of the my friend a friend he's playing stock market stock market no stop twenty is trading the stock market and actually he is milliner but within a few weeks he lost everything zero he even lost his home so from milliner millionaire become so did not only with him many of his friends some of them become crazy and some of them become big depress they cannot do anything and for him he was still okay and he don't have place to stay and he moved into his friend's house and he's live on the coach friends college and cook for friend maybe smiling and his friend asked him well you lost everything how do you feel but he's just looks like you're okay how you know and he said no I got all this money from the store and now loss he's gone back to stomach so conference to market and back to stock market that is the life knife is like up and down like wave of the ocean so he tried to let go but he's not give up he continued start his business and he's become millionaire again so I'm true now who knows this year right again so therefore what we call let it go accept it but turn to that so how to let it go so here today my topic is about impermanent so we need to see life is changing happened so normally we have this miss kind of like perception or idea miss the wrong idea or or aspen about about yourself about the world about the life so that is what we call concept of criminal we don't want to have unexpected surprise we always want to have something consistency something consistent we want to have something that what we expected of course the birthdays expected but unexpected surprise shameful and that hurt for example if you are line up and suddenly someone cut your line mmm now you know you are becoming like fire burning oh volcano eruption why because we have this belief not supposed to this is the my right so many there thanks there so maybe that person cut intentionally maybe that person doesn't see you maybe that person is having person you know maybe that person is having her time so various things might be there but normally we don't see yes so this is not only with that and now special many of you stay in home so now you have all have some idea about what this should be this is the way is the shoot is that right system behave like that way so many things that we run through all on this idea this view is perspective and we really want to be like that way but that certainly change then big problem so therefore some people there are looking for mr. perfect and mr. Porteous but the idea is very strong the more strong idea of that and the relationship cannot be last long it was not a suffering it doesn't match what you expected as the reality is happened down lime is nice Tom Morgan under live is like wave of the awesome changing change it full of surprise life has full of surprise but we don't want so then each time we face problem I'm easy education stress shipped here ship they're from different direction but give you except impermanent I mean except life is my stomach and up and down actually even Miami you'll become more creative more flexible and the world what you see is more such because normally the idea of criminal is grasping can obscure real the world to become like glass when you wear yellow glass and you see everything yellow so that kind of like grasping can obscure you don't see and that grasping bring past and future together so we don't know how to be here now in the present actually we are living times and future not here not present so then suffer so like stock market you know up and down why people do business in a stock market because stock market go up and down with the stock market flat there will be no business ocean go the wave ocean wave go up and down some people to go to ocean to see one reason is to enjoy the way serving swimming what and the sound of the ocean waves and I soothing coming is calm no great College saddened but if you try against the wave then the water go into your long nose but if you play with so it is really important to play with our light up and down except that embrace accept it and then grow and learn so this is really important so the real meaning what I say let it go what is the real meaning of let it go accepting impermanent except accepting lot lighter now so normally I tell one story should I tell you so this is a funny story I don't know it's true or not I put this story in my first book exactly joy of living my first so this story is about one all gentleman but not her etiquette so after he bought the lottery ticket we got Singh is where all and then he put the ticket at home and he had to go to hospital like emergency signal and then doctor said or he had to stay this is a very emergency he have to stay in the hospital for a while so while he's in the hospital until he won the mater but he don't know he won the lottery and his wife and children's they know they are very happy our father won the lottery good news and they rush to come to the hospital and wanting to share this good news to father and first they met the doctor and doctor so don't tell this news to your father why because of his the nature of his sickness if he too excited and he will die right away so don't share this good news to your father but children feel they want to share share this good news to father they don't believe the father died right away so they said doctor please convey this message to him then doctor sir okay I will try to tell this good news to your father but I will see whether your father's can check this news or not so please don't go after task to family member don't go I will go so doctor went to understand gentleman's room how's the weather how are you yes I'm fine and the doctor said if you win the lottery will you be very happy or not and all gentlemen sir no yeah if I win the lottery I will be happy but I don't care much I'm already all my life's very good I'm satisfied with my mind so it doesn't matter for me whether I win the lottery or not and the other say I don't if you win the lottery you very excited Angela well you're never and all no no no really I for me it doesn't matter and that doesn't know no no I don't believe you and the ordinance I know serious if I win the lottery I will give you Hampton enter I said no no no no no I'm just asking and then no no if I win the lottery I can give you heart and doctor says in that case could you write down and then the illness yeah yeah of course so he wrote if I win the lottery I will give this half of money to the doctor you signed me give it to doctor and doctor look at the letter and then sometimes I was very happy and doctor died right away so how does it get so now all men was very conscious I was so excited and you kid what having and he know there's a emergency button in the room you know push the emergency button then or the NARS and all rush came to the his room and then family member thought oh no what happened our Father maybe something happened with our Father now they are very very afraid and they all came into the why because that has very strong grasp no expectation the old man is more accepting no so this accepting and acceptance of live is up and down it's okay so your your mind become more open and there's a resilient so actually the family member told this good news true the the old men and he's fine up a few days later he come back to home and he enjoy all the rest of the money of the lottery okay so now the story is finished so anyway this wisdom to knowing the phenomena are impermanent life is impermanent the world is impermanent it's very important so when you know that and you see world is really fresh not only seeing moral distress you will see a lot of different doors different opportunity potential different windows normally when you fix with one idea the permanent then is obscured to see different opportunity even not easy to become creative you're holding all idea and you don't see the opportunities new opportunities impermanent then all the sudden the world is fresh world is exciting every moment we will see something that you never never see before so therefore to develop this wisdom of impermanence very important so how to develop this wisdom of impermanence just thinking that I need to understand implement I wanted to have this wisdom permanent doesn't work very well of course you have to understand from the view you have to understand what is impermanent it's very important I already mention like wave of Awesome changing everything time is changing driver selects too much it helps doesn't help a lot so second thing is the meditation so meditation bring this wisdom into subconscious unconscious more so for that we have to practice meditation so how to talk about the breathing meditation so based on that we can all please all of you keep your spine loosely straight and relaxed muscles in your body and please close your eyes and now feel your body and feel the sensation within your body from head to feet it doesn't matter what kind of sensation such as lesson unpleasant neutral doesn't matter chance to observe this sensation it don't need to control sensation you don't need to change the sensation you just be with doing verse beam breath breathing in ready now to be aware of your breath is changing actually when you breathe in your breathing you breathe in with the oxygen and you're breathing out its carbon so it is changing your breath is changing and not only that when the bread is coming in every second there's new air coming and going through your truck and the filling the lungs so your lung is expanding when you're breathing out carbon point out every second is coming out of from your nose and your lung is constructive lung is getting smaller so to be aware of this change expanding your long construction Merlin as your lung and the breath is changing at the same time your heart is changing the heartbeat is changing every second while your heart is changing your blood is also changing a blood circulating throughout the body from head to feet every second instant so to be aware of that and your breath your lung your heart your black all are changing at the same time your entire body is changing the organs the cells from head to feet produce change the temperature in your body also changing and at the same time a sensation in your body is changing the feelings pain and pain disappear each enos corners the leg session so pleasant to unblessed unpleasant to place it's changing every and your thoughts are changing so let them come let them go the feeling the talk are always changing let them change okay now please open your eyes the world around you is also changing okay so now the meditation is finished so try to develop this practice in everyday life so formal session every day set I don't know 5 minutes or 10 minutes 20 minutes 1 hour whatever according to your capacity don't promise too much at the beginning something there doable something easy for you but then consistent at least 30 30 days then you will have habit the formal meditation and then informal meditation you can apply this anytime everywhere while you watching television cooking cleaning your home or anytime sometime many times ok so the review meditation applications of you to understand what is impermanent and the meditation how to bring that employment in to explain into being so destiny taking then applying every day application these three things very important so I will stop today's meditation top here and then there's some questions so somebody give me the consistence all of it so I have more time to practice at home let's see but feel like more thoughts and destruction arise what to do with this yeah actually this very good sign so what we call the first sign of meditation is looks like we're getting worse so some people they meditate at the beginning feels quite nice come and you meditate again and suddenly we will have a lot of talk whatever emotion I never talked like that before so the traditional example is when the river become muddy you will not see fish in the river when the river become clean and pristine you will see a lot of fish in the river that's not that River it is river having more fish it's not like that another example is on the cup there's some dirty and if you want to clean top one or two drops of water you try to clean and at the beginning become worse look like all the murdered but actually the process of cleaning so the first experience won't be for waterfall x-ray and second is the river like spy and third is lay you without weight so three through stages at the beginning sometimes getting worse so so that's good sign so no problem I told you before in the last videos when you watch breath whatever thought emotion let them come as long as if you still the memory of breath pizza comes okay ten pieces okay not just one piece I come here don't block then don't fight with them and the meditation experience is like wave of the awesome it's like storm but there's another things what we could realize session so experience and realize session that's two things realization but once you get it it always there it doesn't change much but flavor explain slowly slowly slowly getting better but the beginning lot of ABBA but up and down is good I try to do formal meditations every day some days I feel very tight I try to let go and try to be okay with it it is normal that some days are uncomfortable with the sensation yeah yeah it's totally normal so I've been down up and down some days please come joy clear some days agitate the education includes emotions panic or sometime or just disturbing or just feeling uneasy or looks like now I never learn much of something but a few days later being alone makes being alone makes is hard to be motivated to work on self when study in a lab start in the group of bottom how do we change our mindset in great doing something more variable with our time so normally we have to work with the three things you know believe experience application so we have three part of the mind so so first is inspiration look for inspiration look for something created look for something even though like for example when you meditate every day sometime you feel bored so we need to make our meditation of creative but today you meditate with the breath tomorrow with the sound next day with the mental recitation or sensation all you meditate to walk special with the one emotion so when I was young I have panic attacks some days I work with the panic but some time I can't and then and then thing about the habit to will have it you cannot do too much you know if you do too much then you cannot do a next day so first a little bit high next day and try to set up a special area or room for meditation whenever you go on that chair or cushion just meditate non laptop mom fun just for the meditation and another thing there's a formal meditation another thing is connected with the habit so if your habit of watching television meditate why are you watching tennis to join this your existing habit and meditation other together so that's for the informal meditation it's really good for in the end the meditation comes along with your existing habit let me see when we try to focus on that what the body or the body sensation when we are anxious or depressed what shall we do next as in what the next step after focusing on the sensation mo'ne children next step the practice is awareness and once you know what is awareness and you know how to meditate with like first step is the rhythm 3 object right breath sound or mental gestation next so first is your your making familiar with the awareness and second is sensation second step so that's all you continue to be aware in some days you can aware some days you can okay you cannot aware yeah written aware right looking at the river so when you see the river you're out of you the fever is still there right but when you sometime when you look at strong emotion then feel overwhelmed you cannot really what stepping-stone team awesome then the four steps remember about I mention this before maybe even look at their various lectures so first L is first watch some time when you watch strong emotion like panic the performance tests very strong you cannot watch then second is try something different in change for one what's the sense of listen to Sam watch play do mental I suggest sir step back like for me when I was young panic panic panic is stronger than planet just like them a version of panic I believe about the panic or no Ginobili watch them what emotion behind the image step back for check a break sometimes no matter what you try to do it doesn't help then don't meditate for a while do physical exercise cool what reboot or drink a slip let's go let's do something else just take a break you know how to take a break yeah in your new book you said confidence from not true without the acceptance of uncertainty can you sit marbles yeah that's just I said it now impermanent so when you see lives up and down then you will slowly develop confidence oh yeah and there's a resilient also but if you try to be permanent each time you disappoint so when you lost confidence you feel insecurity you feel something wrong yeah how do you balance talking about challenges going on in the world today and talking about the positive peace it is wrong to talk about typically tease others are going through of course difficulty we can discuss this is what he was suffering so the Buddha the first teaching of Buddha is about suffering the first word of Buddha is the bhikkhu life is suffering so it's important to talk about to be aware of suffering the practice of the suffering is to be known meaning to understand so this is really but at the same time accepted except it doesn't mean giving up sometime a solution sometimes no solution and then exit lives up and down and actually we can find masters and we have become more strong more creative more happy and is good for our health good for our life and good and also you can help more to others otherwise you stuck in Tanaka policy how can you start letting go if I still have to be destructiveness taking care of common life it's very hard to balance the desire to practice and applications I mean the letting go is none like your running away or you have to become Hmong or non or go into the cave not like that so letting go is try to let go of the grasping but a hostage take care of your life your friends your family is a good thing um so sometime people misunderstand about the renunciation or letting go so it's mix with letting go and giving up so letting go is not giving up and you can practice you can meditate everywhere anytime with anything isn't it so true kinds of meditation for money and informal so formal meditation yes will let go everything special time more they live more phone more smart phones no television just fully time dedicate for your meditation five minutes one hour and the another one is in phone narrative anywhere anytime your teaching has helped me a lot but still I face panic and anxiety attacks and sometimes fear of panic attacks am I expecting too much out of meditation they are normally when we meditate try to accept tenets so for me the great lesson for me is when I decided to learn how to live with my that can really helps so try to there and then at the same time try to the physical exercise really important at the beginning and and then meditations go up and down up and down up and down sometime not panic sometimes an AP series are pending really big meditation doesn't help I think eventually feedback okay thank you very much this end of the question see you in the next one

Channel: Tergar Meditation Community

Views: 35,940

Rating: 4.9769011 out of 5

Keywords: Tergar, meditation, panic attack, covid-19, pandemic, Mingyur Rinpoche, anxiety, anxiety relief, buddhism, mindfulness, stress reduction, wellbeing, mental health, compassion, awareness, change, growth, tough times

Id: spWcqXiysEQ

Length: 60min 21sec (3621 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 26 2020