Letting My Self Die

you came out of a four-and-a-half-year wandering retreat in the fall of 2015 and you had a near-death experience after only being on your retreat for about three weeks mm-hmm did the near-death experience mm-hmm sharpen or focus or in some way influence how you understood the whole beginning of the trip so at the beginning of course I have this the notion of letting go I learned this for my father and I have no idea what will happen with my journey although I prepare a lot of you know imaginings I'm on the street nothing and I try to train myself to let go look at those Baker's and you know but I'm not idea what may happen but then as I go to the journey not so easy so I felt like oh I was quite naive to think about that especially the journey from petechiae to Varanasi all these I I forget to calculate not include that so shop and then of course I practiced my normal meditation and then especially what helps me is Oh part oh yes this is my part o part o in this train this crowd and that helped me to begin to think about Bardo and I think that helps me to change the different direction different perspective about all my projects become kind of letting go let myself die and try to really embrace with the fresh whatever present now so two things let go but not just letting go once the letting go the fresh assent the fresh yourself and you see the fresh were all there so through that I became to form this particular experience med practice then of course then later I went to push another and I have almost died at that time I really focused about the death and dying meditation and that really breakthrough really helps for me what is that being breakthrough what did you break through so that is really helped me to break through it's like I have to really let my also die and not just ideally not just kind of like I want to let die even physical body I'm going to die so to let go and be as s not easy but then somehow I did it and then what I saw is that is not the energy even normally what we call grow the last breath grow till last breath learn until the last breath even after the breath you can learn a lot you will have great discovery within yourself so the journey of time for me is transformed into a great journey one of the best time in my life so I was it really you know I appreciate about this practice lineage and then of course I learned this from my father lot of great other teachers but before it's like story you know but then after having this on us dying experience and I for me these teachings really become alive and I have sense of great confidence temperature you grew up in a culture in which rebirth reincarnation reborn are very very familiar in our culture none of that language is familiar and when you talk it sounds as if if you have a strong sense of being reborn it may be easier to let go otherwise let go feels like physical death there's no confidence that letting go will lead to rebirth that actually is happening whether we recognize it or not but that that we need to sort of come to a much more deeper understanding of what it means to perhaps change our view of what it means to be reborn to be have rebirth in this lifetime over and over and over again as a way of helping ourselves to let go of course I think if you believe about the what we call awareness our mind the real when you try to pinpoint when you recognize your mind is what people awareness and what we call awareness never dies so if you believe that then of course more easy to let go right but I think for me even you cannot understand about that but just learning about the death and dying and learning about death and dying it helps for me to let go of the my old self right now because what I call this fixed mind somehow is kind of related with the death if you don't face death and dying then we hold this fixed mind we don't know how to let it go so for me learning dead and dying helps right now to make you become more alive become more meaningful living and that continues I think until you're almost stop the breath you can learn a lot even after you stop breath you still can learn a lot great adventure so nowadays everybody like to have adventure right why not have the best adventure after you stop your breath and no regret no betray you referred earlier to the adventure the journey of writing the book itself in the beginning of the book you talk a lot about the death of the roles the abbot the teacher the Lama the tool and then you wandered for four and a half years and you came back mhm and once again you were the teacher in the lava and the of it mm-hmm it was the same were different yeah I let go hmm teacher a bit the head of the monastery a head of the organization and I come back again but for me now I'm not really fixing although I'm holding the title but I don't feel same as like before before there's some kind of like aim and kind of like the good way is they like care but now I'm not the care less but carefree deep-level walks out great don't walk so don't walk out okay in Tibet we have one kind of like example if you if everything goes right will become your but if not goes right will become cheese anyway it is a part oh it's changing so each in between each game has lot of great things to learn great things to grow if you know that go and how to flow the reality how to be with the reality that you shall die be present with the bottle I think not everything is useful how does it actually manifest this carefree but not careless does it have does it help does it take us a form that it didn't have before mmm I've got you come back of course there's a lot of problems there different problems right the organization problem monastic has problem not the big problem yes but a lot of things I have to deal with it but before then my mind little bit tight okay have to be right and then this is the wrong and there's a black and white and I see the black clear and I don't like the white no or mostly both has great different purpose different hmm benefit and then it's depend on you how you can make it things happen not necessary to one way it will not understand the part oh then you will stuck with only one possibility the way you're using Berto here is continuous change continuous change yes sir so that's would be one like the part of teachings are about the continuity of life and again especially the big one in the middle up and down up and down changing and then the great opportunity is that big gap during this moment in between the big gap meaning success or loss in between the gap so that's the Bardo so we understand the Bardo it helps what we mean Bardo Pardo meaning is intermediate in between so the in our life the greatest opportunity to know who you are to explore see the reality it's this kept these moments like for me when I leave monastery my role everything and to start something completely new in that moment it's very precious but of course very scary that gap become scary and the problem or become solution and joyful depend on you that you are accepting that you are dealing the Bardo considered a distant moment and have this instruction then you can transform it that moment to adventure to grow yourself to let go after the fixed mind all all mine so these moments are the glimpse that it really comes very near to you I mean these these moments are the best opportunity to really yours yourself really become close to you because before that their layers so for example let's say if this bright light inside the house and there's a window wall-to-wall another window so that the Bardo from the window then the wall is not the bottle you are holding on your fixed mind but then the wall is finished then there's a frac the crack of the window there's the gap and that crack through that you can connect with the light that light is your true nature who you are and they had more men if you really want to transform something new something new of yourself grow yourself transform yourself most easiest one today you were doing exit sizes in the meditation hall and they're all about interrupting their quote normal mind the muttering mind so is that the gap that you're talking about here the interruption introduction talked about of the seizing your yeah all of these interruptions interruptions the normal mine steady and then there's a develop of this concept layers after layers to who we are what you should act what the world is there's a lot of preconception how to break that of course I want to break not so easy but when you're really facing the gap in your life that is the most easy one to break that one and to really connect with who who you are the genuine yourself so there are a lot of traditional ways of recognizing the gap in our ordinary life like sneezing yawning stretching all of these ways what you did was a huge gap that you very deliberately arranged for you orchestrated this enormous disruption is that helpful for the rest of us yeah yeah I should comment you know the one day you just go and no money no nothing and then I'm just I mean that I'm not at the beginning I didn't expect it like that way you know I'm not expected I'm going to have this almost dying experience a no but you did arrange a huge interruption in your normal life of course I did that yeah but in our everyday life we have this plenty of opportunity so you don't need to look out there it's just there you have to recognize it especially when you are facing some challenge yeah there's a gap there problem there is gap unexpected things happen here yet these are great opportunity did your experience of almost dying everyday how did it affect how you think about your physical death now or in your own preparations for physical dying is there a difference between dying every day and contemplating physical death hmm so for me yeah there's a different between of course the physical death is really dying and there's a lot of moment the gaps or these are also dying but general the experience is same so the moss in normally when we have the great fear great confusion in school feeling of insecure feeling of kind of life lose meaning of life all this comes when we are experiencing this the moment the gap in our life so when we die something we will feel this and we will feel now because that time actually we are dying whether you accept or not but important if you let it die that in fact it's not so bad it is really great you will learn more you grow more and you will see later who knows who you are okay it's really great if you have faith in the rebirth yeah of course but I mean even you have doubters also okay who knows just prepared these I had this experience you know and even the last bread you can do something right how nice

Channel: Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche

Views: 172,295

Rating: 4.9255319 out of 5

Keywords: meditation, mindfulness, Tergar, Joy of Living, Mingyur Rinpoche, Bardos, Bardo, Death

Id: QRoCECSai5A

Length: 17min 51sec (1071 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 17 2019