Conan Gray | Found Heaven, Lonely Dancers, Breakups and Falling In Love

oh hello beautiful human conen gray one of my favorite artists and humans going to be in the studio any second uh but you know this episode is made possible by our friends over at Beyond sleep I've been sleeping on this mattress called the vibronic and it changed my life because so much in life Daniel is connected to how we sleep that's correct sleep matters so do more with your mattress in addition to getting the best sleep possible with the vibronic mattress there's six speakers built into this thing so you watch movies differently you can play video games differently listen to podcast differently meditate rain sounds hit different when you're bed just kind of shakes them and I don't know plays them it's crazy the whole experience is wild if you want to learn more scan the code on the screen or grab the link below I promise you a better night's sleep is like a click [Music] away by the way hi beautiful human I'm Dan uh no no I are you D dude off to a good start I'm Zach so am I I'm Dan and I'm cron and grayon gray thanks for being here today thanks for having me it's a big day eh big day were you just Canadian for a bit you know it's really channeled from Australia but when I say it people think I'm Canadian yeah um no it's a big day I announced my third album today and an album that is to me clearly different but to you how is it different than anything else that you've ever made it is very different from anything I've ever made my theory about it was hey I made two albums kid Crow and S break they're kind of the same thing they're like brother and sister you know and I was like H I feel like I have to do something different now just for the sake of being like at least I tried something like I just feel like it's fun to try something new and you change and you grow and third album you're allowed to do some weird [ __ ] are you allowed to curse yeah yeah weird [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] would you I mean how would you describe what you've done sonically it is definitely a pop album and it's definitely uptempo and like very um synth and very much me being as ridiculous as possible and not limiting myself in the slightest what is heaven so the album title to me is basically a double on Tandra cuz it's like it's called found heaven and in the album cover I'm like this so like I think a lot of people when they saw the title first cuz I I'd leaked it like a few days ago they were like oh like is this going to be like a happy album but like no found heaven has two meanings but like no but no found heaven has two meanings to me and I think found heaven is like um you know finding your own happiness and finding your own [ __ ] I I fell in love for the very first time this past year congratulations thanks it did not end well but that's okay you're right it is a congratulations actually there was a massive relief in even knowing that I could feel those things and that's also why I named it found heaven cuz that's like a very happy thing I was like wow I found this thing that made me very happy and I found out I can have all these emotions but also it killed me and I died and so in the album cover I'm like dead but I'm also like happy and sad and found heaven like oh like Grandpa found heaven like oh he died so it's like being really really happy but also really really sad well you you you can't have one without the other right exactly yeah and you learned things from from loving and losing someone I learned a few things for sure yes you learn a lot and it was simultaneously like the most incredible experience of my life and I wouldn't trade it for anything but it was also just like so [ __ ] crunching and I thought that people were always exaggerating when they're like oh you're going to be like sad and like eat a bunch of ice cream and you're like whatever like what and then like you actually do that like that actually happened um it was horrible but it was worth it as somebody who is recently felt in real love and also received real love for the very first time I'm assuming this was a mutual love yes it was Mutual yeah which by the way wasn't yeah for the first time ever it was Mutual usually it's you watching like they didn't love me back like no they didn't love me back and then they were like no thanks can you describe what it was like like to feel loved um I would say it was really comfortable which I wasn't expecting to I was expecting it to be this like big like oh my God like love and it wasn't it was like really quiet and comfortable and happy and safe I think that love like when you're loved by someone and this is also something that I've learned from receiving love from my friends and things it's like it's safety you know it's feeling like like everything is going to be okay and that you have their back and they have your back and to lose that is hard yeah because then you're like oh I'm so comfortable and safe right now and then you're like what you just drop off the face of the Earth so it's like it's a hard thing it's very confusing but it's it's important to put yourself out there and um I'm glad that it happened yeah it's better to have love and loss than to have never loved you know before that's what they say yes but are you writing about love in real time so yeah I think a lot of people kind of are expecting this album to be like a a breakup album or like a love album it's not at all it's my Menace to Society album um I take like a year processing something before I can like really write about it in a way that feels true to what it is so like this album was very much like me developing my crush on this person me realizing that this person and liked me back and like all these things and then I was heartbroken died in my bed for like 7 months wrote like two sad songs and then finished the album are those two sad songs on the album yes why did they need to be on there for closure I think I just needed to say what I needed to say winner is the song not about it's about your dad it's about family I think to me it's the one Song That Doesn't feature like that teardrop star thing yeah it's um I think well I made it with Greg Kiren there's like a few songs on the album with Greg Greg Kiren and then um uh Bunch with Max Martin and Ilia and then um a few else with this other guy named Sean ett um but I think the Greg songs do sound a bit different from the the Mac songs um but it's also just I think probably the most vulnerable one on the album although there's one other that I think people are gonna be interested in yeah how would what is most vulnerable because to be honest it all sounds vulnerable right even writing and heartbreak and looking looking for closure that's vulnerable obviously writing about your family is it's also vulnerable um I don't know I don't know if it's that like um vulnerable to me in the sense that I've always done it like I've always written about my life and written about people and been very specific and and figured out how to process my like that's just how I heal I I figure I I process and I heal by writing songs and making music videos and and you know making stuff that's how I process my emotions so um yeah it is vulnerable but it's just like also just what I've always done so nowadays it doesn't take as much like I try not to think about it as much these days yeah what is it like to find somebody who you can be in relationship with that accepts you for that CU that's a big one um I think it's important but I also think that like what if someone was like oh [ __ ] you for like having a bad childhood like what no but even writing about the relationships you're in right like it's I mean oh yeah oh I mean oh not I mean nobody should ever fault you for sharing your life and Truth through are ever but there is trepidation if you're on the other side like if you are on the side of the pen like the receiving side of the pencil yeah I mean I wouldn't know no one's ever written a song about me I'm waiting yeah like oh but I also think that with that being said I think one this person probably wasn't expecting me to write songs about them I don't know but also if you don't want me to write a song about you then don't treat me like [ __ ] if you date a musician they're going to write songs about you good or bad yeah of course I mean that's just a given yeah so be nice and then you'll get love songs you know and then be not nice then you'll get the other kind of song and those two songs I give you close you are what kind of song uh both both both were necessary in this situation yeah first heartbreak is hard yes it is I was not expecting it you're making it seem like you got dumped is that what happened yeah I got dumped yeah I got dumped of course I did like you thought I was going to do The Dumping no no you do give like someone who like once you're in you're you're holding on for dear life my God once I'm in I'm like please if you ever leave me I'll die did you tell him that um I was like um no no no no no no no no it ended very abruptly without me expecting it and so there was so little said and I think who I'm very bad at I'm very bad at like expressing my emotions um kind of like in real time I really have to like think about what I'm saying I have to really think about like how I want to say it and I very much think the best way I am at telling people how I feel is through songs so there are songs on here where I very much like say how I feel about the situation but it ended super abruptly and I was like very confused but so nothing was said actually that's really hard yeah it is hard you didn't like search out closure I would haveand I search but people don't people don't have to give you closure you know would they block you no no no no I'd be call it no uh I was actually oh I don't know if I should say this um I was actually uh dumped 60,000 ft in the air I was stumped while I was on an airplane um over like t or yes I was like there's there's a song on the album about this so I how long was this relationship it was essentially on and off for about 6 months okay and then just kind of died but I was essentially on oh I don't know if I should tell the story ah [ __ ] it whatever um um I was like on a plane this sounds so so [ __ ] pathetic um I was on a plane flying to London to see them and then while like and I'd landed and I like opened up my phone and it was like dumped like like not don't don't want to date you getting back with my ex and I was like and then I was just in London and I was like hey it was so bad and so awkward and so painful and but did write some good songs about it so it's okay I'm so sorry no it wasn't fun don't recommend what are you do when you get to London um uh it was I had to figure that out and then I um went and stayed with my friend for a few days and just cried and wrote songs there's one really good one though that I wrote while was there so I was like oh that was good that was worth it to me like any pain I experience in my life ever at any time is always worth it if I get a song out of it it's how you justify yeah of course are you in this moment you're writing instantly um no I wrote found heaven and then um you know kind of did that all at once and then stopped for a long time because I actually got super super super super sick I was like extremely sick with essentially like chronic tonsilitis so I had like a fever for like seven months it was so bad um and then it got to a point where I had to take my tonsils out which hurts so bad um that's like people make light of that but it's a serious thing it hurts it's like the surgery is like yeah you're fine usually but like it just hurts really bad and then when you're heartbroken and like in immense pain it's just like not the greatest combination but I'm so sorry can you tell I had like the worst de I'm so sorry but also like a year of incredible like gift growth like dude the music your vocals are crazy thank you like the the songs are in another Stratosphere thank you it's I don't know like what's going on in these sessions but the sound is so incredibly nostalgic the lyrics are so honest but it all feels so present and you sound I mean say it's so different and your range is [ __ ] crazy it's insane thank you and the layering we were listening in uh the other room um I I mean it's superb like it's really [ __ ] good thank you yeah I think it definitely brought out completely new emotions to me falling in love for the first time you know it was all these emotions that I just truly never felt in my entire life so it definitely affected the music and like affected did the way I made the music and um it's funny because all this there's like so much uptempo on the album but like when you pick it apart like all the lyrics are very much like I'm very confused for a lot of the album and um it's a yeah I think I just like had to do something that felt different because I I feel different you know I feel forever changed how so I think for a long time I thought that maybe there was something like wrong with me like oh maybe there's something wrong with me and I just like will never fall in love or like maybe this just like maybe I'm just unlovable or something and then now I realized that there isn't anything wrong with me and everything's okay and um things just take time and also when you're someone like me who had questionable childhood it takes a little longer you know it takes longer for you to trust people so um it was actually just like a huge yeah relief to to find out that I can have these emotions and I think it took an entire lifetime of healing and feeling safer and safer in my situation to even allow myself to fall in love um and I also think in this situation it was I got really lucky because this was someone that we were just friends like we were always just friends everything was perfectly friendly and normal um so I felt so safe you know know I got to really know when you are just friends with someone you get to really know them like not without all these boundaries and all these rules and all these like oh let's define this let's define this you get to really understand someone and then one day we were together and it was just like oh wait we are in love with each other um and I think I got really really lucky because of that so it was just a super eye openening year of my life and this album is all about me being like holy [ __ ] like I don't know anything I thought I knew everything when I was like making super ache when I was making kid Crow I thought I knew everything and this album's like wow I know nothing I am so dumb hey sorry for the interruption but the hardest part about eating is making the food so Factor has solved a problem they will send you food ready to go whatever you want they got a bunch of different stuff 35 different options every single week I love the vegetarian options love their salmon it's really good plus they got great pasta dishes they got 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right now that kind of sounds the same and I'm getting sick of it of hearing it even like the like whisper songs that even I've made you know like I spent my entire teens making those songs but like whisper songs you call them yeah you know sad by the way I love that [ __ ] no I [ __ ] love it but I've also gotten to a point where I'm like yeah like there's enough of it I need to make something else and there has been like a slow progression into it like it wasn't like I mean some of the like Memories right it's kind of it's kind of got a little bit of that it's anthemic it's bigger yeah I am kind of like I don't know somewhere along writing the album I think it was also because I was on tour when I was kind of like playing around with like the first songs on the album that didn't make it on the album um I think like you know just performing every night I kind of wanted to do something a little more dramatic because you know when you have the show in in mind you want to make something that you know people are going to like sing along too yeah but people I don't know I've been to your shows they're screaming The Whisper songs oh yeah they scream The Whisper songs I I don't want to put out there that I don't like I love whisper songs I will whisper song for the rest of my life but I'm just like okay in this current time I'm going to make something different just because I think other people people have the whisper song covered right now I can just do do my own little thing Heather's kind of a whisper song what Heather's kind of a whisper song Heather's such a whisper song yeah it is definitely a whisper song it's a great Whisper song If I say so myself are you working with Max on like lonely dancer and I mean the latest stuff yeah yeah um the latest one is Max Martin and IIA and osar hter um and yeah I mean obviously he's Max Martin he's the best of the best and he's also giving uh disco and Nostalgia right now yeah I know he well I think he's also just a huge like music nerd when it comes to like the 70s and ' 80s he knows like everything about that era so I think he's having fun as well one of the coolest human beings and the smartest brains to ever exist yes absolutely what are the conversations like when you get in the studio with him for the first time um well I'd kind of known him for a while and I'd worked at their Studios for about like 5 years now um and so by the time we started working together it was very much just like we'd already known each other so um it was very comfortable and and really fun this is the first time in my life that I've ever had fun making an album and I hope that people can like hear that and like see that it was music made out of Joy so you you say boredom leads you to different vocals but like I mean you have to try it out somewhere you know I mean you were belting the range was crazy like there's some songs where I felt like you had other people on it but it I'm pretty sure it was just you like I mean where do you feel safe enough to explore that and figure that out I think with someone like with someone like Max who like I think is always trying to push people to whatever the best version of them can be and also um I think we have a lot of fun because we like to think about music in the sense like oh like how can we say this word in a way that like just makes you want to repeat it like how do how can can you say these things that make you want to that make it so fun to sing and like how can you say this line in a way that really tells you what you're trying to say I think um like every single word and every single song is thought out you know you there's care put into every little piece and um there was just kind of a time when we were first working on um the first songs for the album where where I was just kind of goofy like singing it in this like kind of essentially like weird British man accent and it just kind of stuck it was just so fun to do and then it just stuck Winter's beautiful thank you I mean really really yeah it's really special song really special why was it important to get that out in the first three singles so I released it kind of in the middle of me being extremely sick I think there was like kind of a a moment yeah there was a moment last year where I was really sick and I couldn't didn't really work like I couldn't do the normal things and I think people were like oh like what's going on like why what's I'm like I was just really sick like I was really really really sick so and it starts with a fever it started with yeah it started with essentially someone gave me the flu and then I got and then that turned into something else and that turned into something else and that turned into something else and I just get kept getting sicker and sicker and sicker and sicker um and it was just like yeah it was crazy cuz I I I mean health is something you really like take for granted cuz you have no idea um and it was like I felt so out of control and I was heartbroken and my poor friends were like I put them through the Friendship ringer this year like I put them through friendship boot camp cuz they oh my I I was the most like atrociously down bad you've ever you could have ever imagined me um I was so sick and so heartbroken I think I cried for 6 months straight my friends like literally had to like drag me out of bed to like eat and to like shower like it was so embarrassing like I will never go back um and it was it was good though it was good and it was worth it my heart just my heart just ACH for you I know I know but it's fine I have this visual of them carrying you out of bed and like like I don't know like towel bathing you like my my beautiful wonderful friends that are like so like angels on Earth and they're just like oh what do we do with this thing that's like in my bedroom that's all from heartache and heartbreak yeah and I think it was also one of those things where like your heart broken and then you also feel like physically shitty so then it just like makes everything worse it was crazy um yeah crazy to think that possibly one of the worst but also in somebody's best years of your life give you the most upbe happy album of your career totally yeah I know like the craziest Year of My Life um and I'd I'd never been happier in my life and I'd also never been sadder um and I think yeah when people listen to the album like they should I think they'll be able to hear that I was extremely happy for like the first six months of the year because I was falling in love and everything was amazing and when you talk about friends I think about a song from Super EG it's best friends right MH I mean dude real ones like you learn from those friends I don't know what I have done on this planet or in lifetimes before to have the friends that I have I feel extremely lucky I ask myself that all the time yeah it's a blessing yeah and it's also I'm sure this is like something that's crossed your mind it's it's like romantic love has always like been so foreign to me I think but platonic love has been clear as day my whole life I've always been able to understand it completely I'm like wow yes like I I know how to accept love I know how to give love in that way and then you add romance in and I'm just like completely clueless and I've never dated like I I I just like never dated because I was so confused and like it was I don't know what caused I actually I do know what caused it what we don't need to talk about it um but I mean it's probably goes far back yeah it goes far back it always goes far back and I think I think it was just uh yeah it's like funny because you can have like two forms of love that you think would kind of go hand inand but they don't at all it is different but is any of that confusion cleared up even through this heartbreak yeah I think so I think also through writing about them and and you know releasing the album and and making videos and doing all that like like that's how I figure it out so I did figure out a lot it's like it's funny because usually by the time song about something comes out I've usually already kind of processed it so it's much less heartbreaking by the time it comes out so like I'm already kind of out of that phase of my life but I'm like thank God like that thank you to the song Lonely dancers for like helping me get through that you know but also you learn things from a relationship being in love with somebody and them loving you like in a bunch of different ways that you now have experience that you didn't have before that you can carry with you as you I don't know love again like it's not it's C to a close up on you like that's like I'll try I'll try Are You Afraid Of course I'm afraid no of course I'm afraid of course I'm afraid I I think yeah if I'd even known that this person had liked me I don't think I would have even been comfortable getting close to them so it's like um yeah I'm of course I'm afraid but maybe now I'm less afraid because I did go through the worst possible scenario possible and I survived and you've learned things so it's fine and I learned a lot dude yeah you've done things that you with a human being and loved another person that you've never done before like with that comes confidence and I mean Clarity and some sort of understanding and I don't know like I think also you I I know a lot more about like what I need or like what I want um and also just like yeah I don't know it brought it brings a lot of new questions but also provides a lot of clarity I guess it should prove to you that you deserve love and the right love for you is coming and this one wasn't right but doesn't mean it wasn't right for what it was worth you know yeah and it was right for that time yeah and uh there's like literally no regrets like it it was so worth it and that's I think something I try to tell like the people who listen to my music and what this album so much is about like like I want people to know like yeah it was devastating it was detrimental it was so painful but I would do it again in a heartbeat and I don't want people to think that just because things can end badly that it's not worth doing [ __ ] yeah like you have to let yourself make mistakes you have to let yourself be in uncomfortable situations um or El just never grow and change and um yeah I this album is very much about embracing all of your emotions embracing the fact that like yeah this did end terribly but it was so worth it and I'd do it again [ __ ] yeah yeah you deserve amazing love healthy love reciprocal love thank you it's coming your way manifest it rub the rub the log dude rub it this oh the log the piece of wood yeah that's working I'm telling you it's a manifestation thing it's working oh my God someone's coming does this breakup though make you enjoy being single now because you're like okay I was in the relationship I'm single now I can be single in a different way well you can be single differently knowing things from this relationship embrace the singleness you know when you've embraced the singleness for 25 years of your life yeah but I feel like you you really want to embrace the singleness but like you can embrace the singleness that with the intention of a turning into something more like I mean do you have any more like new confidence in just I don't know meeting somebody from an or if somebody's like hey go out with my friend no okay thanks for trying is it hard to date as con and gray though cuz you are con and gray I mean it's hard cuz everyone's throwing themselves at me yeah and I'm like dear God there's not enough of me to go around um um uh sure yeah of course it's hard I think it's hard for anyone to date especially nowadays but um yeah there are aspects of my life that make it a little weirder sure for sure what is about a grocery store you had a music video be based there no the one that you dance choreography that's new too eh yeah I started dancing it's huge worst year of my life and I'm just like dancing around like what am I doing I don't know what I I was in a mood clearly like anyways um you really did dance right through it grocery store because the first date we ever went on we spent most of it in a grocery store cuz it started pouring outside W we're really like in a Tesco you know they have tesos yeah um in the UK and yeah just so that's why I grocery store honestly I'm so annoying like that is so annoying like but that's why I said this album is my Menace to Society album it's not my album being like I love you it's an album being like wow I am going to be as annoying about this as possible yeah like do you think this person has any idea of what's in store like did they know that this music video is about the first date uh you know I do not know I do not know and I don't want to know got it I hope not but H whatever it's cool it is what it is truth yeah you're living it yeah it is I mean it is scary for art to imitate life so sometimes clearly yeah it's it's because I mean to me like I've always done it and the people in my life and the people that have been in my life like have always understood like that that I do that so it's not uncomfortable and also like this person knew that too so buckle up it is what it is [ __ ] yeah how you know lonely dancer was done um I think I knew it was done once um once I'd made the music video like once IID had the idea for the music video in my mind but there was like peace I was like yeah um which have you seen the music video did we play for you oh just I've listened to the song a bunch though um well the music video comes in a few days um but wait when does this song is this song this week next week yeah next week February 9th got it I'm just trying to keep yeah I have no concept of time at all yeah me either I mean there's no windows in here so it's weird it's very much like a casino yeah just start pumping oxygen through the vents uh so okay is that how it works for most songs like when you can see the visuals and like at what point in the creative process does that usually come uh it it either comes like immediately like as I'm writing the song or it comes like at the very very end um but I I I care a lot about music videos and every music video I've ever made has been written by me and very much like like I know exactly what frames I want I know exactly how I want because also making those films and making those that form of art like is also how I process my pain so um yeah music videos mean everything to me and it's kind of sad because they're like a dying totally breed truly I don't think like people Maybe music listeners don't realize but like music videos are dying like how do you save the music video I have no idea um I think because of like short form content there's like just music videos are a dying thing um but back in the day music videos used to be like the only way you could promote a song so it's just not that anymore but I love music videos and it's sad to see them going it really is sad maybe they'll come back though I don't know I mean we love to like have an option so I can see them when I'm streaming on Amazon music or on Spotify or something yeah maybe we just need to integrate them better yeah I don't know I love music videos I love seeing a visual representation of something yeah it explains so much yeah it does and it helps you feel so much more like the song matters no I want a music video and then I would love a conversation about the album with the artist if you can give me those three I feel fed yes and I just want to feel fed feel that was a scrumptious meal I can leave that's it yeah is that too much to ask for apparently yeah it's crazy yeah damn it is crazy how didd you know this album was done there's there was the very last song that I wrote on it which I wrote about I very much wrote about being in London being just freshly dumped and being like what what am I doing um where am I where are you um that was the last one I wrote that in London and I was um that was when I knew it was the end I have Goosebumps like I have this visual of you at the airport in London opening up your phone and it's it's heart-wrenching yeah I was like literally like in the plane I was like like oh it was really um but also like how what a great story like how comical is that like that's awesome I could not have been broken up with in my first love ever in a better way like that's hilarious come on that's awesome I feel like that's much of the life of Conan gray yeah yeah I I I very much have a life that sounds like it was written for like a really [ __ ] up musical like and then when I tell people about my like childhood they're like they're like you're making that up I wish I was I'm not and by the way I would just say reference I don't know any of the other past interviews you've done with conen gr to get an understanding I don't need to rehash at all I do like always go back and forth when like somebody comes back on the show to like go through it all again but then I'm like do you really go through it all again uh I don't know no probably not no so we'll link them below we'll link them oh there's that first one was so good yeah so funny it's you're in a unique stage of life in that moment like there's like a do you think of young Conan often or ever um I I actually have thought about him a lot recently because I think as I get older the more I return to who I was when I was like 14 I think the older I get the more I like I'm like wow I really do have a weird obsession with Biology and I love Pokemon like you know like I think all these things kind of like come back to me um and also the people in my life who are also you know we're all growing up together they're like I'm also seeing that in them like they're becoming the same person they were when they were 14 before they had all these thoughts of who they're supposed to be and what they're supposed to do and so yeah like also when I was younger I had an obsession with primary colors like it was so there was something so wrong with me um clearly but like I couldn't wear clothes unless they were primary colors like it would like drive me crazy and now it's like back like I'm like covered and I'm like oh my God I looked at wearing right now yeah you're wearing primary colors I know it just like all Prim they're they're bright and the album cover is just like yellow like it's like I just I uh I don't know I I I love him I'm like what a cool guy I can't believe I was ever so self-conscious and hated myself so much but that's a part of life in the process right of understanding who you are yeah I want every like 14-year-old listening right now to know that you're going to love yourself in 10 years you're GNA be like wow what a cool person that is such vital advice because it's true yeah like a part of loving yourself and understanding yourself is quite frankly [ __ ] hating yourself it's true true it's it's really a part of it yeah damn it's really special to be able to listen back to your music and hear life though and to hear growth and yeah to hear it's weird yeah it's like it's beautiful it's beautiful and I can like hear you know the songs I wrote when I was like 17 on my first DP and like I sound younger and it like makes me want to cry when I think about it cuz I don't know I talking about SE Sunset season I like grew up in making music and talking about my life and it's like all time capsuled there and obviously like I'm just going to keep growing up and stuff but like it's just very I don't know I feel very lucky that um people cared enough about what I had to say to let me keep talking about it it that is really wild to wrap your mind around yeah that like we're very deep into this discography and just along the way people have been added to the community you're not subtracting and people feel so deeply understood by these records myself being one of them so good thank you your music is so [ __ ] good thank you no you should be really proud and this is such a beautiful Evolution it's really different as a real fan of yours who's like listen to your stuff over and over and over again like deeply deeply deeply not prepping for a [ __ ] interview just in life it is such a great it just moment of growth it's really cool it's really cool thank you yeah I felt like it was a year just about growth in general so I really needed like a physical kind of visual tangible thing that I could see like oh I have changed and so I needed to like change the the way I dressed and I needed to change the way I sounded so that I could like kind of put in a physical thing like oh I am a different person things changed but also I think the the people who've been listening since I was you know 16 17 I think they can they know secretly that it's also just like very much a regression to who I was back then um so it's it's been very yeah it's been kind of magical it's wild what are you thinking you're not a big fan of collaborations are you have you done any other than the LA one no and I think to me I I wouldn't do one unless I had a conviction to and I don't I don't I also have like two friends I wouldn't like do a collaboration like with someone who I don't know I mean yeah your one of your two friends is a pretty big artist yeah she's a good singer I've heard of her um but yeah I don't know it's like I don't think I would make make music with someone else I felt really comfortable with them and um that's not to say that I'm not going to make more friends actually one of my big goals of this year is to make more acquaintances hu huge you can do that I'm trying I've been going on friend dates like once a week oh interesting really I'm trying because because I'm someone who I'm very like all or nothing I'm like I love you and you're my soulmate and everyone else can disappear um that's not that's not very healthy I think I think I mean it's fine but I think also you know you need like you know it takes a village you know you need like different friends and I'm trying to get better at having like casual friends in my life and like going outside how are you finding these friends dates who's setting you up on these are you finding yourself I'm trying to I'm trying to visualize a friend are you like Tinder for friends I think that exists the dating C scare the [ __ ] out of me I don't know how people go on there it's crazy um now I just DM people on instagr what I'm like hey hey are you looking for a friend hey let's get coffee I mean maybe they probably all they probably all think I'm hitting on them maybe I am I mean that's the the way the last one started right yeah friendships sometimes turn into other things I see you yep I guess so maybe I'm just collecting a roster of [ __ ] that was a joke guys in like six months time you look back I'm like I come back with like a posy oh man what are you thinking I love when kind of comes by yeah I love coming by that makes me yeah it makes me very happy thank you for always coming by genuinely yeah I do come by here well it's been no it's been like a year and change yeah year and change yeah it's no you come back like healthy it's healthy the the gaps yeah I have different hair every time you know mhm you made music with Olivia though right ever no I mean Liv and I have written together but just like for funsies but never we we don't have I think also it's like I don't know there I think with friends you just want to have friends and be happy yeah you know and and um she's just so talented it's so fun to watch her do her thing and she's going on tour soon and I can't wait to go to that show by the way like old people have the phrase like you know [ __ ] where you eat you know you know pleasure you don't like friendships and like I know also like friendships are very special and you preserve those with everything you have and I don't know there's it's different friendships are everything and I think uh yeah like sometimes you like see a collaboration out in the world and you're like those people have never met and I don't know that's just not really my vibe so that maybe that's why I don't do collabs but where do you draw the line at writing for funsies like what if writing for funsies turned into a really good song if you write a really good song then you're like hell yeah but we haven't read sorry to disappoint we haven't written anything how do you prepare for a session do you write mostly on your own and then walk with it or WR yeah I write on my own but uh and then I bring stuff in but uh with Max and with Ilia we also kind of did this thing where um we would just text back and forth and call each other and like sometimes like he'd wake up with some like weird Melody and he'd be like what if we like did something like like oh what if we like put these words to that Melody um it was just like a very kind of playful back and forth and um yeah but majority I write on my own and then bring it in so are you writing to production that they've given you already or no we write from scratch really yeah so I can't write to production I write the worst [ __ ] song you've heard if it's like to production it's I can't do it it's just it I think it like sterilizes The Vibes so it starts literally with lyrics Yeah lyrics are just like a melody like into the air like um yeah with with lonely dancers Max just called me and was like like I just have this like what if like we there's this melody that's been stuck in my head like and then I was like okay and then he was like try like try can you like try to put some words down I was like I'll try and then I like tried and um yeah it was like kind of uh in the middle of me being in this yeah very like on andof super confusing thing and it was kind of one of the first times that I'd been ghosted by this person and didn't really know what was going on and so lonely daners is about me like essentially trying really hard not to have a meltdown by instead just being like which is so am me you must have felt safe enough to share this with Max right or no yes of course yeah you have to be like with people to write good SS with them Max Martin's a friend three friends guys Max Martin Ilia Olivia Rodrigo that's all you need I mean [ __ ] that's all stop there like that's [ __ ] good did Dan work on the Sal at all no he didn't actually that's a change it is a change Dan and I are still very close I'm actually seeing him tonight acquaintance or friend do we add him to make a force or he's honestly at this point more like a family member okay and that's kind of what I I'd say the same for like Liv and for for Max and like my friend my best friend back home is a girl named Ashley like they're family like they're not my friends like you don't like I I spend all my holidays with them like I don't they're my family so Ashley's an icon I've never met her I just know love her from our conversations yes she is wait the love of my life can I ask her how did you and oliv meet we met because of Dan she started working with Dan and I was already working with Dan um and it was also Co so we didn't see anyone you know we never saw anyone our age we never like we would just go to the studio and then go home and so we met essentially in passing at the studio and then started dming but I'd actually messaged her way before she even started working with Dan because I heard this song that she'd written called All I Want For High School Musical and I thought to myself was like this is one of the best songs I've heard in years and so I told her I messaged her just out of I did know her at all I just messaged her I was like you're an amazing songwriter and then we met at the studio after that that's really special yeah I mean she's so important to me you learn a lot from friends and also like you become a better person but yeah with those those you surround your yourself with she's a very good advice giver which I think people who listen to her music can tell because she's almost like giving advice all the time in her music you can either like go like wrong with the people you sh yourself with or incredibly right and you've got incredibly right I'd like to think so [ __ ] yeah I love my friends I think they're good people and you're looking for more acquaintances and I'm looking for more acquaintances well really you're looking to just do some so like let's be honest I guess so I'm not judging you no know I got to do my thing that's it's your process you figured it out yeah I figured it out I friendship dates let the man work my turn into more let me cook yeah go never really got the answer about why Dan isn't working on this project he was working on uh he was very much working on guts oh and then I was primarily in Europe in London and in Sweden so it just kind of didn't there was no kind of time that made much sense that makes sense and also with Dan like I think the reason why his music is so good and why he you know makes these really cohesive albums and very like very very sonically is because when he works on something like that's what he's working on he doesn't get distracted with other things and I think that's a beautiful thing and I was like I'm not going to [ __ ] this up like just do your thing um but in turn you also got to challenge yourself in new way yeah I think also was like yeah it was my third album I was like and I need to make some more acquaintances yeah I need I need to like go I need to go outside and try new things and discover things and learn things and um I think it was a very beautiful process for all of us there's no way we would have gotten this album if you would have just kept doing what you were doing with the same collaborators no it would have sounded very very different if I'd um not changed any of the people I was working with um but also I was quite surprised to hear like how much like like I I was surprised to hear like what actually stayed the same versus what didn't um which was really funny to hear and like what was it I mean I think lyrically like I'm just always going to be the same like no matter who I work with that's just I just write in a very specific way um and then like soundwise I was like wow like I did not know I could sound like that I did not know I could like do these things and um I don't think I would have ever discovered that side of myself unless I was in a new world yeah it needed to happen I think it needed to happen meant to happen but Dan is my father so again family not friend family not friend not my [ __ ] friend you my [ __ ] by the way you continue to give Timeless thank you so yeah that's very rare to give and not something I say to everybody but you give [ __ ] Timeless thank you I I think if you are always doing something that you like then hopefully it has nothing to do with culture do you know what I mean I think like obviously the culture will always like affect you and change you and but like I think with this album especially I was like I'm just going to do what I want to do everyone might hate it and think it's [ __ ] horrible but like at least I did what I wanted to do I think that's important you're making art for you I am and I had so much fun doing it it was so fun until it wasn't at what point wasn't it fun M probably about yeah about a year in yeah like wow I have never felt more lost in my life but that's because of Life yeah that was because of life it had nothing to do with the album but that's it's part of living yeah is feeling loss and then yeah getting answers it really is just a constant like up and down and I have been alive long enough to know that every time you go down you're always going to go up and then anytime you're up like you are going to go down it's it's a hard like pill to swallow genuinely but I don't know it's life not that hard to swallow when you have your face on a cappuccino that it's so weird oh God it looks really weird now it's melted now by the way we have a coffee machine that like will print photos on coffees yeah my face is on a cappuccino right now fancy I would show you but then I'd Pour It On The Ground final thoughts Daniel have you th thed thed I thought all the time I'm glad you brought it up have you started to think about what this album would be like live oh my God yes I can't wait I can't wait to sing it live um it's an album that I think I designed to be fun live yeah that's what I was picking up from it yeah and um I have my secrets and I have my plans are you grateful for everything you've been through [ __ ] no no no I'm so grateful I wouldn't wish it on anyone else but I uh am terrified of the thought of who I would be if I hadn't been through the things that I'd been through so um yeah extremely grateful but I would not wish it on anyone you moved nine times at a certain phase of your of your life it was hard for you to make friends and now you have an amazing base of human beings that will literally bathe you I know I don't know what happened I feel so lucky so I have like such intense impostor syndrome especially the past few years of my life where I'm like why are things so good I'm so confused um but then other things happen you're like oh okay okay it's not that good but I don't know I will say like yeah friends are something I've always been able to understand and even if I didn't have a a lot of friends growing up like I always had one friend that like was my partner in crime and yeah I think a lot of people kind of water down the significance of a friendship and um a friendship is everything and like when I see like people who are in their like 60s and with their best friends I'm like I hope to God that my friends are still my maximum priority when I'm 60 you got to turn your mic it'll happen sorry final thoughts yeah you know what I think and I actually stole this from a comment on Tik Tok is you showed off like a unreleased verse from Heather not too long ago would you ever go back and release like a or record like a longer version with the unrelease verses and does that exist for other songs it exists a lot with Heather because I wrote that song so many times and rewrote it and rewrote it and rewrote it and rewrote it so when I opened up the the notes that I have of all the lyrics it was crazy like I opened up my notebook and there were just insane lyrics in there I was like oh my God I was so depressed and I hated myself so much I felt so bad for him when I was reading like what happened but there's so many alternate verses that I could probably make like a 20 minute long song with how much I wrote for Heather but I think is um what it is because I wrote wrote and then chose what I thought was the best and I do still think that the verse that I chose was the best one out of all of them um but I I would love to Heather you know like you know there's like artists who like hate their biggest song like I am the opposite of that I've never been more proud of a song in my life like that song means everything to me and it was my favorite song from the second I wrote it and the fact that other people felt that way too made me feel narcissism where is uh um why did I just blank out um [ __ ] all I wanted to do is ask you about the song and I just blanked on its name and I literally had it in my brain I was ready to say it I smoked too much weed God damn it I did camine before this yep you know me I'm tripping you don't drink do you or no I don't I don't do any drugs I've never smoked a cigarette I've never been high I've I I I drink like twice a year for like celebrations like a glass of champagne but I don't get like plaster yeah what do you drink uh a Jin and tonic oh classy yeah it's like kind of an old man drink but they're so good I like how they taste like sharp they're also like so good that I'm like I should never never drink these because they're really tasty and then you're like oh yeah I understand why people get addicted to these things and that's why I don't do them I hate the taste of alcohol yet I still find a way to drink it yeah I I just don't I also don't like the feeling of like being like crazy and drunk and also I'm not a fun drunk really like are you fun drunk I I don't maybe are you fun I am the most fun really like you're like I'm having the time of my life I can either be fun or like just to totally out of it and not wanting to be there yeah I'm like a very quiet really sleepy drunk like the second I drink any amount of alcohol I just get really like like really like sleepy and like quiet and weird and my friends are like what is going on with him um but yeah I like the the one time I got drunk uh two years I guess yeah two years ago is when I played Coachella like afterwards my friends and I were like oh like we have to celebrate I had one gen and tonic got plastered like was plastered off my mind like in a way that was unbelievable I think cuz I was just so like stressed the whole day that like my body was like oh my God nutrients and then it wasn't nutrients it was poison um and I I don't want to know the things that I said to people I think I walked I walked out into like the crowd of just like General of just like the plebians no I'm kid I walked out into like the crowd of just like Coachella and started like talking to people and they're like oh like like where are you from I'm like yeah like I'm from San Francisco I'm not from San Francisco like I don't know what I was doing like I it was crazy and there's like definitely pictures of me where I'm like Boo and that's also off of one drink one drink I'm the most intense lightweight of all time I should I don't drink and I there's nothing in me that wants to and I also think like a lot of my friends like we all kind of don't drink it's not really our Vibe I'm just imagining you walking through the crow Coello slightly drunk with that pink dress on trying to go Incognito like nobody can see me guys guys it's not me I'm from San Francisco like pink bright pink it was so crazy but it was yeah that was definitely a moment I was like yeah I should never do this ever again does it sound like people watching mean something different to you today than when you first made it ooh I haven't thought about that um I guess I have felt that love and emotion so I don't know um it's I think yeah I it feels a little like um like I definitely it validated my thoughts essentially because that song is all about like what is it going to be like to be in love I want to understand and now I do understand and it was definitely a really intense experience so I understand why back then I wanted to know is it's what you thought it was going to be honestly yeah yeah it was everything I thought it was going to be doesn't make it any easier um no it doesn't it was actually way more like what I thought it was going to be than I even wanted you know like you watch watch all these movies and you listen to all these songs and you're like I don't get it like why are they singing about this [ __ ] like I don't understand what you mean and then it happened and I was like oh what the hell it's like exactly like what you were talking about like I kind of always thought everyone was in on this big joke about it and then I was like no they just like it just really like you become literally delusional and you like think that you can float like it's crazy it's a crazy feeling but it's also like 100% like a weird genetic like endorphin rush so of course you kind of feel like you're like on drugs the whole time you'll find it again yeah I think so come on I don't manifest positivity here I don't want to be hurt again that hurts so bad even no I'm being a bad example but maybe the next time won't hurt as bad or ever maybe going to marry the next person I meet yes you got to keep swinging not next person you meet relax but like next person maybe you form a Rel relationship with yeah and invest time energy and love into yeah I think so so come on positive energy here are you happy you're in love yeah I am I've learned a lot from being in love and I'm really I'm happy like very lesson um I mean prioritizing somebody else getting to understand somebody else and how they work and operate understanding somebody else's wants and needs and prioritizing them against my own it's a lot of compromise 100% but in a beautiful way because it doesn't feel like compromise when it's the right person not at all you're like of course yeah duh you just you don't think twice and and a lot of that is because you want them to achieve the best and their full potential and you I very much feel like I'm sharing I live a life but I also share that same life with somebody else and we share our life with each other it's really special and I wouldn't trade it for the world but like it took a long time to get here and a lot of a lot of [ __ ] and a lot of I mean terrible stuff but this is real and I've never felt love like this before and I always I I thought before I maybe knew what love felt like and this has totally redefined it for the better for me like it's actually given me a true definition of Love yeah in a way that I've never seen or felt or understood before yeah it's like a lot better than you think it's going to be [ __ ] yeah yeah and it's it is safe and security and to have a real partner and there's something in that that is just really precious and yeah it's really very also like it's like a very like I kind of always thought it would be like big loud thing it's like a very quiet emotion it's like very like I don't know like everything in the world like turns down it's the best feeling ever that's the right way to describe it too because I think social everything you know sounds different everything like so many other so many things that were around matter less because you're in love with somebody and there's I don't know it's really different but in the most beautiful way it's priorities really shift oh I feel like you're sad right now oh I'm so happy no no no it is it's so yeah it's weird to think it's also like not that it wasn't that long ago so I'm like a little yeah this is fresh it's a little fresh are you going on on a friend date this week yeah I am I am going on friend date we're going to get coffee and talk [ __ ] sick that's like the best thing you could ever do right yeah get coffee and talk [ __ ] is this a new friend or yeah new friend oh wow it's but it see the thing is I have a lot of people that like I've known for like five years I just never like really got to know them like and I've just met them in passing and so I've like challenged myself to basically like reach out to all those people that I'm like oh like every time I meet you I really like you I don't know why we aren't friends it's like oh it's my fault that we're not friends like we so I go I've been going out of my way to be like let's get a coffee that's very special don't be offended that he didn't reach out to you Dan it's coming you're on a really like you're on the list is really long I know I'm on there yeah and you're on there I'm not going to say where but you're on there number 937 yeah it's yeah it's around [Laughter] there it's like a guess hey at least I'm in the top thousand yeah I never said you're on there Zach yeah how about that interesting it'll be okay by the way you can listen to all con and Gray's music it's waiting for you uh there's a link in the description below you can stream it on Amazon music and uh I really appreciate you as always thank you for having me you really are one of the most special people who have ever been on our show oh whatever it's special for sure I agree with that special a lot of ways no you're absolutely incredible you really are one of a kind there's nobody like you and you're going to find the love that is right for you and you're going to make somebody very very happy one day and you're going to complete them the way that you deserve to be completed and yeah I good shit's coming your way thank you and you should be proud of this music as it's [ __ ] spectacular thank you final thoughts yeah it must have been nice to write lyrics and songs about like real people instead of just things you made up in your head oh so fun yeah so much easier too I would imagine so to say I would imagine so that's great it's like the first time we ever like actually dated someone not just like I I met someone and I created this life in my head it wasn't real you can just be like street name like it's like so much easier like that's a that's like a hack like a life hack when you're writing a song just get your heart broken by like an actual person and then well because genuinely before it was like you were writing about things that you were never experiencing there was that one person didn't you write like you kept writing about this one person for like five years oh I might have been years honestly and you never dated this person no never even kissed and now we have a real person I remember the one of the maybe the first time we interviewed you we asked you about this person and or like maybe kissing them and you were just like yeah we've never I've never even kissed somebody no no I hadn't kissed anyone at that point uh I have since then kissed people for some reason I think may I didn't think I had to like make an announcement about it but like my fans for some reason like still thought that I have never kissed so like guys come on I know I'm a loser but not that it's been years literally six years since then I'm sorry like um oh imagine if you went six years since that moment and you still hadn't kissed anybody no judging like there's reasons why people would never kiss someone but like not me though I'm Different do you ever think about the seven-year person anymore oh yeah totally really oh yeah I follow them on my stalker Instagram account oh it's so good oh it's so good they became like I don't even know I could have never predicted the person that they became it was awesome did they know that you were into them yes they actually came to my show without telling me this was I don't know I feel like I've said this before I yeah I played a show after um I must have been 19 like after I wrote some music about them and they bought a ticket and came and I was singing a song I was singing lookalike about them and I looked into the crowd and standing there and I was like it was insane yeah and was that the last time you were ever in the same room as this person it was wow they texted my uh best friend like a few times cuz I'd had their number blocked um I'm just so confused like did you tell this person you were in love with them or yeah and it didn't go the way you had planned um it went the way I'd planned and also not it was like a it essentially the feelings were reciprocated but then I moved to California and was like [ __ ] you I don't want to want want to see you again it was a very like uh wait they did love you back yeah but they couldn't really like deal with it interesting you think your do you think your entire life is just building up to you two getting together one day I sometimes think about that yeah like especially cuz my life has just changed so much from high school so sometimes I'm like maybe it was all because of this one CU also like all my best songs are about this one person like maybe maybe it is just like Destiny but no no but also no like no from what I've gained from my stalker Instagram account I don't think we I don't think we could even sit on a couch together really so different very very different people yeah wow like you would you even recognize the person if I hadn't followed them on my soccer Instagram account no no whoa when when you see them in the crowd do you put on like the best show of your life or does the show get worse so I kind of always thought that it was going to be like this feeling of like [ __ ] yeah like I'm on stage in my soldout show and you suck it was actually not not that feeling it was like immense sadness I felt so bad I felt so so so bad for everything that happened wow because yeah when you see like I think when you've had distance from someone you like can really build things up in your head and like kind of almost forget that they're like a real person you know and then you see them again in person you're like at the end of the day at some point I I loved you and we were really close you know once you break that like physical barrier all of a sudden it's like we're just humans you know heavy it's true but I actually I I think I've written better songs about other people since then guess we'll find out on this album guess we'll find out coming soon found heaven coming soon coming April 5th you can find out stream all music it's waiting for you click the link in the description below you good I think so are you good yeah I've we've covered a lot here yeah I feel fed I feel like yum does the logo mean anything or is it just something you came up with it does to me so it's it's teardrop it's a star inside of a teardrop and what it is in my mind I started drawing it on everything when I was first making the album and it's just a reminder to me that there is immense Beauty and immense magic in allowing yourself to feel emotions I spent so much of my life completely turned off like all of my emotions just like shut them down don't think don't feel just concealed don't feel don't let I just started quoting Frozen on accident um just like completely turned off to the world and this album was all a challenge to me to allow myself to just feel everything and I wore this around my neck the whole year as a constant reminder that anytime I felt like oh I don't want to think about that I'm just going to like not think about that like no think about it like process it feel it let yourself do things um there's so much more joy found in actually experiencing something um than just not experiencing anything at all so it's a little star because the star is like you know magic and happiness and joy and then the teardrop because you cry when you're both very sad and very happy that's really beautiful I like that I really appreciate you going to okay I appreciate you too Zach thing is that your real name yeah 100% you have a middle name uh Ryan okay well okay silence Zach say okay okay got it okay [ __ ] two first names damn dude yeah it's rough I don't know what how would you constitute a middle name a middle name has to be something like not a first name what's your middle name Lee that's good like the jeans oh yeah that's good that flows nicely Conan Lee gray yeah yeah that's nice what's yours is Adam isn't it Daniel Adams a lot that's two first names Adam or Adams Adam yeah don't most people have yes that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying Carlos that's what I'm saying I've heard MRI I'm the weird one here yeah yeah but I know Le's like I know like people named Lee do you oh I do too is it Le or l e h l e e like the Irish Le that's a good spelling thank you it's a good spelling thanks that's nice anyway con and gray everybody listen to his music there's a link in the description below I really appreciate you thanks for being here thank you Conan are you still a crow do you still consider yourself a crow yeah I am I'm I'm regressing for sure okay you're not like you haven't morphed into another bird no still a crow cool stand by that okay healthy yeah come and gr everybody [Music] w

Channel: Zach Sang Show

Views: 149,574

Keywords: zachsang, zach, sang, interview, zach sang interview, celebrity, amazonmusic, music, ariana, grande, zach sang and the gang, dan zolot, cameronlouis, conan gray new music, conan gray heather, conan gray playlist, conan gray zach sang, conan gray interview, conan gray memories, conan gray funny clips, conan gray funny, conan gray olivia rodrigo

Id: 6fcx8UfLrMY

Length: 75min 3sec (4503 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 06 2024