Community | Family Matters | Nate Hilgenkamp

well every time a new school year comes around and baylor students come back to waco i just get nostalgic i get nostalgic for my time at baylor because i loved my time at baylor university while i loved a lot of things about baylor my absolute favorite thing about my time at baylor was the guys that i got to live with because there were eight of us and we lived together for three years in a row sophomore junior and senior year and i loved living with them for two of those three years because by the time senior year rolled around i was just ready to move out because these guys just did things that drove me nuts because whenever you live closely to someone you realize that they just do things that are annoying frustrating or just make you angry here are some examples i had one guy that i lived with one of my closest friends in the world he's the cheapest person i've ever met in my life and it wasn't because of his situation like he was fine he's just super super cheap so here's what he would do every single day for lunch he would pack his lunch in these plastic baggies he's like make a sandwich and put it in a plastic baggie they'd leave it in his backpack and then on friday he'd pull them all out and then wash them and lay them out on her counter to dry all weekend and then reuse them all next week it drove me crazy but then another guy five of us shared a bathroom so which that's a problem i mean five college guys sharing a bathroom it was disgusting we should have just burned it down after we moved out but the five of us shared this bathroom which meant there were a lot of shampoo bottles and soap bottles in the shower and after a while i just started realizing man my shampoo is just like running out fast like i don't have that much hair i don't know what the deal is i don't use that much shampoo so i just started doing math in the shower one day and i was like okay there's one shampoo bottle two three four one of our roommates had just alternated between all of our different shampoo bottles for three years he didn't buy one so there's just four sets in there even though there were five of us using it it drove me crazy another guy man another guy he just would sing all the time and like from the moment he wake up it's not pop songs it's not it's not christian songs it's not worship songs what he would do is he would make songs while he was studying to memorize the things he was he was he was trying to memorize so he would sing songs about supply chain management it drove me crazy another guy we had this list of chores and this guy on his list of chores was to buy dishwashing soap for like our dishwasher so he went and he bought pods and we just put him in the dishwasher which was great until a few months went by and we just kept grabbing those pots underneath the sink and putting them in the dishwasher and someone realized that it wasn't dishwashing pods it was laundry detergent he bought tide pods we were eating tide pods before it was cool another guy was nocturnal and this is the guy that i shared a room with so he would stay awake all night watching watching movies and playing video games then he'd sleep during the day so i couldn't even go in my room during the day another guy he just sent the most passive aggressive text about leaving out dishes dirty dishes on the counter but he was the worst at it see here's what i learned about about living with eight guys for three years people are great until you have to spend a bunch of time with them because man you're great man like i can i can hang out with you i can i can be with you on sunday mornings but if i like live my life with you you're going to do something that's going to drive me crazy which is a problem because here at harris creek as we're continuing on in our sermon series called family matters we're talking about things that matter to this church family one of our core values as a church is being community centered we're big believers in life groups here small groups of people who get together and do life with one another now that's a problem for me because i really enjoy my life i i really am so grateful for my life i've got a great life i've got a great job a great child i've got a great marriage and i don't want other people's problems ruining my life like why would i sign up for your crazy my life's doing just fine and during my time in ministry i'm like i'm serious this is how i think about things during my time in ministry i've seen so many people have to care for other people's problems they get in life group and their their life is fine and then they have to start caring for other people's junk like this affairs anxiety alcoholism doubts about god lack of a desire for god eating disorders debt depression pornography gambling addictions lying problems with parents problems with in-laws problems with kids problems with their spouse problems with finances joblessness they have a job but they don't like their job gossip greed cynicism i could go on and on and on and on why would i invite that into my life so i think many of us don't many of us avoid community and draw back in isolation because we figure the problems of isolation surely aren't as bad as the problems of community it's just not true because while community is problematic the problems in community are far less than the problems in isolation because in this country we had an isolation epidemic before covet 19 happened we had a loneliness problem developing in our country before covet but then covet happened and we had to pull back from our communities we had to pull back from church we had to pull back from our work and many people right now in our country can go an entire week without having a conversation with someone face to face who actually knows and loves them and cares for them and we're seeing the fruit of that right now because right here in waco i heard from a family doctor in town who doesn't even specialize in this but he's getting 15 to 20 calls a day about depression right here in waco and right here in waco if you want to see a counselor or a psychiatrist or a psychologist or a psychiatrist many places have a three to six month wait you see the problems of isolation are far far greater than the problems of community we're seeing it play out so we're called to be in community not just because community is better but it's also biblical that's what we're going to look at today what does it mean to do biblical community well we're gonna be in first thessalonians chapter five so if you have your bibles open up there first thessalonians chapter five as we talk about and examine what does it mean to do biblical community well and just some set up for you on first thessalonians first thessalonians is actually probably the first letter that paul wrote in in the new testament it was written in about 51 a.d and it was written about two to three years after the church in thessalonica was birthed so these were baby believers and they needed to grow in their maturity so what paul does all throughout this letter if you've read it before you might notice that time and time again paul keeps saying jesus is coming back jesus is coming back jesus is coming back jesus is coming back and we've got to be ready for him in fact the theme verse that really summarizes 1st thessalonians is is verse 5 chapter 5 verse 2 paul says this for you know very well that the day of the lord will come like a thief in the night jesus is coming back we don't know when but we know that he is and if jesus is coming back we need to do all that we possibly can to be ready for him this is where the role of community comes in because as believers in jesus community is not the goal community is not the goal but what community is is it's a tool community is a tool to make sure that each and every one of us is ready for the day of jesus christ either when we go to be with him or when he comes to be with us we need to be ready and one of the ways we do that is through community so as paul is finishing up this letter to the church in thessalonica he he finalizes with this this is towards the the very end of his letter and he gives them outlines on how to live in community with one another so we're gonna see three things three ingredients of how to live biblically in community with one another so we're gonna be in chapter five starting in verse 14. paul writes this he says this and we urge you brothers and sisters warn those who are idle and disruptive encourage the disheartened help the weak be patient with everyone now what you got to know here is he's not writing to the church leaders he's not writing to the pastors he's not writing to the spiritually mature he's writing to everyone he's using inclusive language brothers and sisters all of you the entire church in thessalonica your job is to warn the disruptive encourage the disheartened and help the weak all of us have a job to do because biblical community the first ingredient is that biblical community identifies needs a biblical community identifies needs i was reading a commentary on this passage on this verse and one of the commentators says it's like paul is calling on the church in thessalonica to act and think like doctors that they are to know that everyone in their church community is sick with sin they've been diagnosed with sin and as you think like a doctor you need to look around and think hey how can i make them more healthy like what does this person need what medicine does this person need maybe this person needs more of a challenge to grow in their health this person might need some encouragement to grow in their health as you get together as a church your job is not to think hey i'm here to fix people but it's hey i'm here to help people what can i do to help everyone follow jesus and it's a beautiful thing when the entire church is in on this but many times many times in life groups this isn't what it looks like because over my time in ministry i've gotten to see literally hundreds of life groups i've examined hundreds of life groups here at harris creek and really in those hundreds of life groups there's only three types of life groups here's the bad news two of those three types of groups stink people don't enjoy them in fact if i if i had you raise your hand and said man i have who who here has had a tough time in community here i've got a decent amount of people raise their hand because two of those three types of groups are just not very enjoyable because the first group is this it's the starving group it's the starving group in this group everyone has signed up for life group hoping to be fed spiritually that they've signed up for life group hoping that other people in their group would feed them spiritually that everyone else in the group would help them grow in their love for jesus now that sounds okay right but but it's not because in practicality when everyone shows up hoping everyone else will help them no one helps each other like they're looking to be fed spiritually but no one has anything to offer so what this group looks like it looks like a bunch of hungry people but no one's got any food to offer no one's willing to cook so they show up starving and leave starving because no one brought any spiritual food to the table it's not an enjoyable life group experience this is the second life group experience is the exhausted group the exhausted group and what that looks like is there's a small handful of people one two maybe three people who really take ownership of feeding the group spiritually like they're pursuing jesus every single day and they show up to group ready to serve they show up to group with spiritual food to offer and this happens week after week after week they're feeding everybody else but they're never fed themselves so what happens is they bail out of exhaustion so those are the two groups that don't work what's the group that does work the group that does work is the biblical group and it's the group that looks like an old school baptist church it's the potluck group it's the group where everybody's bringing something to group everybody's bringing spiritual food you've been pursuing jesus all day this every day this week and you show up ready to provide something now some weeks it's gonna feel like you've got a lot to provide in some ways it's going to feel like you hardly have anything at all that's okay what matters is that you're there ready to actively engage actively be involved and that's what paul is calling this church in thessalonica to do to be the type of community where it's not just the the few leading the many it's the type of community where everybody's involved everybody's meeting needs everybody brings something to the table and when everyone's actively involved meeting needs identifying needs there to do these few things let's just look at them what does paul call us to do is we're actively meeting needs in our life group he says this at the beginning of the verse brothers and sisters warn those who are idle and disruptive warn those who are idle and disruptive that word disruptive here in the greek it's actually a military term and it means a soldier who is actively and on purpose broken ranks a soldier who's actively and on purpose marched out of step from the group that's what he's talking about here so picture this you're on you're on a team of navy seals you're overseas somewhere dangerous and you've been called to march from one end of the city to the next that's your job you're going from one end of the city to the next and you're marching together as a team until you realize someone in your group has wandered off he's gone sightseeing what would you do if you were a part of the navy seals and someone in your group wandered off from group what would you do you would do all you can to go out and bring him back why is that because isolation brings danger there's an enemy around you who wants to kill you and if someone that deviates from safety deviates from the group deviates from their protection they're going to be killed so if you're on mission together you're going to do all you can to bring them back in because this is a life and death decision here's our problem many of us are willing to let our brothers and sisters deviate from protection deviate from the plan be idle and disruptive from their faith because we're afraid of calling them out we're uncomfortable with it and we're more nervous about what they'll think of us if we say something then what might happen to them if we don't do you hear that that's important we're more nervous about what people in this room will think of us if we say something compared to what might happen to them if we don't if you love them you'd say something because as believers in jesus this is what we believe about this world we believe that there is an enemy who wants to steal kill and destroy from us scripture says he's like a roaring lion seeking to devour anyone he can he wants to get his paws on all of us so the moment we see someone being idle and disrupting from their faith disruptive in their faith breaking ranks and not pursuing jesus what we have to do is go out and bring them back warn them because it's the most loving thing we can possibly do even if it makes us uncomfortable even if we don't know the words to say it's the most loving thing you can do because these are life and death decisions and likely whenever i talk about someone who's idle and disruptive in their faith you probably probably have someone in your group that comes to mind my question is have you told them you don't have to be harsh you don't have to you don't have to be mean you can just say hey because i love you here's what i'm seeing i want to keep you safe because if we're in community with one another all of us need to be identifying needs including the needs of warning people that they're in danger that's not all we're called to do paul kind of switches his tone with the second half of this verse he says this in in the next half of the verse he says encourage the disheartened help the weak be patient with everyone now it's a different tone because this is two different situations two different scenarios the first one is someone who is disruptive in their faith but but the next one is someone who's disheartened there's a difference between someone who is disruptive and someone who's disheartened the person in this group the person who's disheartened is someone who genuinely wants to follow jesus they do but for whatever reason in this season they're struggling they're having a hard time they've been caught up in sin they've been they've been caught up in in just emotions that don't draw them closer to jesus and what the person in this group is not what the person in this group needs because the person who's disheartened does not need a lecture they don't need to be challenged they need to be comforted and this is honestly where i struggle i don't do a very good job of this because i've been in seminary i've got my masters of divinity i can tell you about the greek and the hebrew i can tell you about the book of ezekiel like i've got all the answers for you so when someone comes to me and says hey i'm struggling i'm having a hard time my first reaction is to say okay do this this this this and get over it like that's kind of my heart's posture in fact there have been at least two times that i can remember where my wife and i we've left life group we've got in the car and natalie's just looked at me and she said nate you just weren't very kind i'm like adelie it's because they need to be challenged they've got to step up they're going to do something in their faith and she's like no i don't think they need to be challenged i think they just need to be cared for and here's what i'm learning in this season don't underestimate the power of empathy don't underestimate the power of empathy to heal someone's walk with jesus this is what paul's calling us to do it's not sympathy it's empathy there's a difference sympathy means oh i feel badly for you empathy means i'm gonna feel badly with you i'm gonna do all i can to to serve you and love you in this season and in those few times in my life when i have been able to access my emotions and feel empathy for people i don't really know what to do like i want to help i want to do something but i just don't know what to do so what i end up doing is nothing what i've learned from jp he does a great job of this he says whenever you don't know what to do just do something it doesn't have to be perfect you don't have to say something profound just do something send the text make the meal spend time with them in prayer spend time in prayer alone for them in other words do what this verse is telling you to do encourage the disheartened help the weak be patient with everyone and move towards them with empathy so as we're identifying and meeting needs we're called to do two things we're called to challenge people in our group and to care for people in our group many times groups tend to go one way or the other you're either really good at challenging each other you're really good at caring for one another maybe this week it'd be helpful to get together and talk about hey where do we need to grow do we need to grow in our challenge of each other or our care for each other because as believers in jesus we're called to do both because point number one a biblical community identifies needs okay let's continue on in this passage see what else paul has to say about doing biblically doing community biblically he says this verse 15 make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else now that sounds easy it sounds clear but it's it's actually a lot harder than that because many groups here don't really look like that because if we were to peel back the curtain and see what goes on in your group it probably looks like the opposite of the second half of that verse because after the comma it says but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else if i had a guess a lot of groups sound like the opposite they sound like this but they always strive to do what is good for themselves they show up to group whenever they have time for it they serve each other whenever there's space in their schedule they pray for each other whenever they feel like it rather than doing everything they possibly can to help each other they do whatever they can to to help themselves and it's a shame because it's the opposite of biblical community because point number two biblical community is selfless biblical community is selfless i don't know about you and your family and your marriage but for whatever reason my wife and i tend to have a disproportionate amount of arguments while on vacation because with vacation there's there's so much expectation for vacation like i've spent a lot of time planning this i'm spending a lot of money going here i'm spending days away from work taking time off of work so when i'm on vacation i need to make sure that i'm doing what i want to do at all times so recently my wife and i were on vacation in orange beach alabama and we were just we got up that morning we're like what should we do together and she's like i want to go to the beach and i'm like i hate the beach i really do i i know that's weird but i i feel hot i feel dirty i feel stuck i don't really enjoy the beach adelie could be on the beach all day every day so we just went back and forth she's like i want to go to the beach i'm like i want to go to a coffee shop and read that sounds restful to me she's like no but but i want to go to the beach and i'm like no i want to go to a coffee shop she's like i want to go to the beach i'm like no i want to go to a coffee shop so being the good husband that i am the pastor that i am the follower of jesus that i am we got in the car and we drove to the beach and i dropped her off and drove to a coffee shop that's what we did on vacation we ended up splitting up because we couldn't agree because when you're on vacation you want to make sure that you're doing what you want to do at all times around the same time we were back in waco my wife was 9 months pregnant and she said nate we got to go to the hospital because we're about to have our baby and i said but i want to go to a coffee shop and read today no of course not because when you've got a mission or our mission was to make sure that our baby got here healthy that was our goal that was our mission and when you're on a mission it doesn't matter what you want to do that day your your needs your desires don't matter because what i knew is that what i needed to do that day isn't what i wanted to do it was to get my rear end in the car and drive us to the hospital because we had a mission to accomplish and when you're on mission your desires don't matter as much see there's a difference between a vacation mindset and a mission mindset a vacation mindset says i'm going to do whatever i want to do whenever i want to do it a mission mindset says i'm going to do everything i possibly can to accomplish this mission church we're not on vacation here our time on earth is not a time to kick back relax and do whatever we want we are at war with an enemy this is what paul says all across first thessalonians jesus is coming back jesus is coming back jesus is coming back our mission is to make sure that all of you and thessalonica are ready for the day of jesus return and our mission here in waco texas at harris creek is the exact same our mission is to help everyone follow jesus and make sure you're ready for jesus's return or for the day that he calls you home we don't have time to mess around we're at war which means the mission of our life groups are abundantly clear it's to make sure everyone in your life group is as ready as possible for the day of jesus christ and some of you get it like some of your groups get this you're focused on the mission of helping each other follow jesus so you don't do what you want to do you do what you know you need to do so some of you i've seen this in groups even this week you stayed up far past your bedtime counseling a couple who's struggling in their marriage it's not what you wanted to do it's what you needed to do i've known groups where people in their group they actually don't go out to eat that week they take that money and they do that for about a month and they take that money and they give it to someone in their group who needs it it's not what you wanted to do it's what you needed to do i've known people in groups who babysit kids for free who don't even like kids but the couple needed a break they needed a date night it's not what you wanted to do it's what you needed to do because you were focused on the mission you laid down your desires to do what is best for everyone around you this is what paul's telling the church in thessalonica to do lay down your desires for the sake of the mission everyone needs to be sure that they're ready for the day of jesus christ so lay down your desires because point number two a biblical community is selfless a biblical community is selfless so let's see how paul finalizes this section of scripture telling us how to live in community biblically he says this three fantastic verses rejoice always pray continually give thanks in all circumstances for this is god's will for you in christ jesus you know these verses are the verses that distinguish our group our community our christian community from all of their communities on earth because paul says we can rejoice always we can pray consistently we can give thanks in all circumstances i do not know of another religious organization political group or ideology that can say that i don't that you can rejoice at all times you can pray at all times you can give thanks at all times i don't know anyone else who can make that claim because as christians we're weird we believe really weird things in fact this week on tuesday night here at church we did something something happened here that was weird to the outside world because we had a memorial service for a college student who passed away this summer incredibly painful she passed away in a car accident her parents were in the car behind her saw it all happen i mean just can't even imagine can't even imagine so we got their community together and they got on they got a microphone and started sharing things and how they were processing these these are these are juniors in college they're going through something no college junior should have to experience and they got on the mic and they said things like i don't understand this has been the most painful season of my life i'm frustrated and yet in spite of all these things i rejoice i do because i know that my friend is with jesus she's been welcomed into his arms he's hugged her he's wiped away every tear from her eye and he said he said well done my good and faithful servant and she doesn't remember death or sin anymore because she's with jesus so while this situation is hard i'm grateful because as christians we do weird things in all seasons at all times we can rejoice which is point number three biblical communities rejoice together because here's here's again what separates us from everybody else as believers in jesus we don't always have to celebrate our situations like we don't have to look at life with a blind optimism and say everything's awesome all the time it's not there are hard things that happens that happen sometimes you will not like your situation sometimes your situation will be incredibly painful and yet paul says rejoice always pray consistently give thanks in all times and why can he say that it's because as believers in jesus we don't have to rejoice in our circumstances we don't have to rejoice in our season we don't have to rejoice in our situation but we can always rejoice in our salvation that we know that jesus christ came on a rescue mission to seek and save that which was lost of which we were and he saw us in the muck and the irony picked us up cleaned us off and set us on a brand new path he forgave our sins he forgave our past we've got a hope and a future so i don't care what this world does i don't care what it does around me i don't wanna i don't care what it tries to do to me it cannot touch what jesus has done to me what he is doing in me and where he's taking me one day this is what we believe as believers in jesus we have hope at all times and yet many times we leave life group bummed out i don't know if this is happening to you sometimes there are just hard life group nights and that's okay but sometimes there are seasons where you live in the same mood or even a worse mood than when you came in when that happens think about what y'all talked about what did you all talk about during your time together did you talk more about politics or jesus did you talk more about your job or about his work in you did you talk about how much his wife is frustrating how hard his kids are and how he still hasn't spent time in jesus with jesus this month i mean if that's the case what are we doing like why are we even getting together because there's life groups here at harris creek we get together for with one purpose we don't get together for supper club we don't get together because our kids are the same age we don't get together because we live in the same area we get together because we've been saved redeemed and forgiven by the god of the universe when we get together we get together to celebrate what he's done in our life and in the lives around us i don't know about you maybe you follow jesus better than i do but i need this like i'm so quick to forget the goodness of the gospel i am it's so easy to be overwhelmed by this world it needs to be overwhelmed by by my job by finances by a lot of decisions i have to make it's easy to be overwhelmed so i need my brother to remind me that jesus is better that jesus is good there are those times in my life when i just feel like i don't have anything to offer and i need my sister to remind me that my worth isn't in what i do but in what jesus has done for me this is what we do as believers in jesus we get together to remind ourselves of the goodness of the gospel we rejoice together we pray together we give thanks together are y'all actually doing that as a group like do you actually pray together as a group do you actually share about what god's been doing in your life as a group maybe the most important thing you could do this week to to bring your group a step forward is to show up and just say hey i just want i just want to share what i learned in scripture this week i want to share about an encouraging conversation i had this week rejoice together because this is what we're called to do as a biblical community point number three a biblical community rejoices so in summary point one biblical community identifies needs point number two a biblical community is selfless and point number three a biblical community rejoices you know you know i opened up by talking about all the problems of community like like when you get in community you have to take on other people's problems you have to start dealing with their addictions their anxieties their depression their sin struggles etc etc etc when you join a community you join with other people's problems but that's not all because when you join a community you don't just join their problems you get to join in their victories because we don't just see hard things happening in community here at harris creek we've seen god move in amazing ways through our life groups we've seen marriages restored and healed because of what happened during their time in life group we've seen people find freedom from sin because of their time in life they brought us into the light that they've been dealing with for years at times decades they never thought they would tell anyone they brought it to the group and god used it to heal them from that sin to find freedom from their past in fact recently in a life group we saw someone come to faith while in life group then we baptized them here so let that be an encouragement to you if there's someone in your group who you're like i'm not even sure if they know jesus they might not what an opportunity it is that god's placed you there to help bring them closer to jesus this is what happens in life group a couple of months ago we had a winter storm and our life groups went to work we saw life groups make meals for each other we saw life groups take other life groups into their homes but we've also seen life groups do painful things but beautiful things we've seen life groups come around a family who lost their child help them bury them we've seen life groups come around someone in their group who has cancer or whose parents have died hard things but beautiful things good things like good for your soul type things because you see as i said at the beginning the problems of community are far less than the problems of isolation but also the victories in community are far greater than any victory you'll see in isolation because in life group god wants to use you because here you show up and you're one of a thousand there you show up and you're one of a few if you want to see god work you have to be activated you have to be engaged you have to go to work you have to make sure that everyone in your group is following jesus you get to be used by god in community and friends i just want to close by saying what paul says to the church in thessalonica jesus is coming back he is or you're going home to be with him i want to make sure you're ready i want to make sure all of us are ready and in order to be ready we need to be plugged into community this isn't my idea not my thought not jp's opinion it's not harris creek's opinion it's god's opinion he's put it in his word he's put it in scripture that community is biblical and i've found that whenever you live in biblical community it's just simply better let's pray that be true of us as a church father thank you so much for your word they don't leave us on our own you don't leave us in isolation you don't leave us to our own devices but you call us to do things that sometimes we don't want to do you call us to things that we're not even sure how to do so father right now as we're just sitting in this room i'm sure we've got a lot of people thinking man our group can go in this way our group can grow in this way i pray you'd empower your church to do what they know needs to be done that they would challenge people and also care for people that they would rejoice together that they'd be selfless with one another and as we create these beautiful communities of jesus followers that the outside world would would see a picture of unity would see a picture of the gospel that they've met maybe never seen before church i just pray that our communities would be healthy that they wouldn't be founded on gossip it wouldn't be founded on on any other discussion any other topic other than other than you other than your gospel because we're only here today because you've seen us you've saved us you've forgiven us [Music] father we just want to worship you for that not just on sunday mornings but on wednesday nights on wednesday mornings whenever we might meet as a group i pray that it would feel like this that we could remind ourselves of the goodness of the gospel that jesus is better than this world has to offer and we've got a hope and a future because of him so father we just want to worship you now and rejoice in the fact that jesus is alive and he's with us and he's for us and it's in his powerful name that we pray amen

Channel: Harris Creek Baptist Church

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Length: 37min 3sec (2223 seconds)

Published: Sun Sep 05 2021