Comedians VS Hecklers | #1

foreign [Music] what's your name sir what's your name David what's your favorite color David blue okay seems like the fairest way to deal with you David there are so many things I could say number between one and eight David six and you said to me when's the comedy on well it says if you want my comeback you'll have to scrape it off your mum's teeth [Music] these things don't lie David these things don't lie I'm kidding she swallowed you're not smart [Music] I don't think you're smart I don't think you're smart if you were smart you would know that's what's funny about the joke that's the exact thing that's funny about the joke but I think your math brain isn't creative enough to understand humor [Applause] rain is made for humor like you're probably really good at other things but your brain I don't think is made for it I'll give you a chance for the rest of the show to try to laugh but if you find yourself not laughing just know I'm not smart enough that's what you have to remind your brain doesn't work for it it's not everybody I'm sure you're really good at engineering no you're really good at engineering ruining other people's nights [Applause] um being selfish you got all those down but humor is not for you that's fair and look there is a place to go if you don't like humor is no you shouldn't go to hell why would you go to hell that's for funny people you're not gonna ruin our time in hell too how dare you [ __ ] you don't follow me to [ __ ] hell [ __ ] got your [ __ ] minds I gotta deal with you here and in [ __ ] hell it is gonna start a fight here so what do you say Miss what are you saying go ahead one person one person let's start with her you're born in Quebec but you moved to Ontario okay listen oh look what the [ __ ] like box H wants to fight with box C over there [Applause] [ __ ] is going on and it's all women what the [ __ ] happened look at dudes are like since the metoo movement we can't say [ __ ] I gotta sit down and look at the [ __ ] floor while these women act all belligerent it's white women too look the Indians are like what's happening I I don't disappear oh we got another one all right see another woman [ __ ] it it's and it's the same demographic too it's like always women between the ages of divorce and menopause like right there the most annoying Heckle that I get I guess I like him when people join in I like a bit of a Heckle a bit of fun but the most annoying one I get is when I've set up a joke just about to do the punchline and someone goes it's all invariably it's the same thing so his words it's not my life bet Noir it's just a bit annoying where's Ellen [Applause] he's at your house [ __ ] your dad [Applause] I think we all knew including him I think we all knew that was a trap feel you as one going hold hold and then one brave soul over there said no no I'm taking one for the team rather your daddy's what okay I know you think like wait you do not like Trump hold on a second I I don't know if you're stopping Goblin or I'm just not here I think part of the sentence together they're just like you do the rest like I don't know it's having long pregnancy a lot of pregnant bosses okay all right well let's let's get these pauses to turn so okay you know I don't like Trump yeah correct you have to say one would leave if I have to say one good thing about the guy what would it be uh he's he's 72 years old what am I doing I'm doing standing this is called stand up comedy that's what I'm doing [Music] moaning moaning no this is these are jokes it's not Modi you're a piece of [ __ ] aren't you [Applause] [Music] [ __ ] it gonna do with you [ __ ] rude girl bouncing wow man I'll count you up if we get rid of them listen what yeah well let me deal with this wait a minute I've got some [ __ ] going on here right now bro and now my man was a casual chat all of a sudden you call me at the worst times you know when you're busy you're taking the [ __ ] and then you phone you up you phone him back he's not available you get in the shower your phone rings again it's him again I'm sorry about my moaning tonight you love him thanks I love you too man my moaning hasn't gone down well with the young drunk with me my mom um [Applause] I'm available now man what do you want to say unfortunately you paid two taxes in quebech you work and you smile so people yell at you they always get mad at you okay hey this is comedy not therapy [Applause] come on now I'm from the UK and we do a few things properly in the UK starving yes Madam I'm sure you do [ __ ] up people's DVDs being one of them I shouldn't have said that you're just joining in but it's only cost about a couple million pounds foreign don't we what do you do really well because we're all dying to know according to your boyfriend not a lot your husband all well done sitting there like that oh man it's like he's been him a million times before it was nice when she told Barry Manor that we had a big nose another ocean you're going to come up here and [ __ ] me up you're gonna come up here and [ __ ] me up [Applause] that was to show you what I would do to someone if they tried to [ __ ] with me I didn't even have to touch him I'll throw a Sonic Boom on him and he fell down and you want to come here and [ __ ] me up you're threatening me on stage look what I did to that big bastard and you want to [ __ ] me up because I defended a 16 year old boy I will call you a [ __ ] idiot [Music] foreign [Music]

Channel: Comedy Gaff

Views: 840,080

Keywords: comedians vs hecklers, hecklers vs comedians, hecklers, heckler, hecklers compilation, heckler gets owned, hecklers destroyed, heckler owned, heckler attacks comedian, heckler destroys comedian, hecklers getting destroyed, hecklers jimmy carr, hecklers vs comedians uk, hecklers comedians, heckled, heckled comedians, comedy compilation, stand up comedy, stand up comedy compilation, andrew schulz heckler, jimmy carr vs hecklers, comedy heckler, best hecklers

Id: 7gBKWDRuVIc

Length: 10min 11sec (611 seconds)

Published: Sun Jan 08 2023