Charles Grodin Collection on Letterman, Part 1 of 7: 1982-88

but let me just mention one thing that uh people often ask me as i'm sure they do you well who who are your favorite guests and i always go to you because uh uh the dynamic that you bring to the show for me is perfect you you come in to the theater and immediately uh put me uh on the defensive and i think the audience also is placed on the defensive uh and then we just sort of uh go from there and and i like that i mean it it gives the impression that you are prepared and we know lord knows you're a busy man you're certainly not prepared but it creates the impression that you are just with this little uh adjustment of your attitude and and i love it how much of the bit with johnny carson where i don't want to answer a question that you don't have the slightest interest in hearing how much of that was real or and how much was was playing totally a joke i would never do anything like that i mean you know me we know each other some but you know i've certainly been on your show over the years and i'm nothing like that it's just that you know with with 500 people sitting there uh you know if we had an obligation right now to get huge laughs which is what it was with on the tonight show or or david letterman it's very hard to come out there and have the kind of easy amiable conversation real conversation that you and i have you so you almost have to instantly what i feel is get something going because i i mean if david had asked me uh you know perfectly good conversational hopefully fun stuff that you and i are talking about the demand there is different it's almost like you have to have the equivalent of jumping through a ring of fire right there there there is a motivation to get laughs to involve the audience you're following like a circus with people running through the audience handing out hams or something you know literally and i'm a huge fizzle visual stuff so the only thing i can do is come on you know very very angry about something that just happened backstage and of course with my acting background everyone thought something bad didn't happen backstage and so the people that really got it the best were johnny and david and they knew it was all a joke but a lot of the audience including friends of mine would go oh wow why is he he's not even like that in life why is he so unpleasant you know it was it's all a joke this better be good this is good this is very good how's that instagram how's that look for some mascara up are we blondie mascara i'm sorry i'm out of mascara you're out of mascara sorry you know your friendliness campaign it's so wonderful it's such a you're out of mascara yeah helps people get along like each other is that your coffee cup on my friendly pamphlets what are you crazy it's like a zoo in here what where's the producer where's the producer what is this late night late night you people ought to be on at 4 45 to 5 15. they're out of mascara in there they put coffee on my pamphlets why don't you work more on producing the show unless on you're permanent you're out of here clear this green room come on move we're moving take these friendly pamphlets come on read these you can't read can't you come on old timer move it out of here [Music] thank you thank you paul hi welcome back to the show and uh once again our thanks to mrs nelson out there in loomis nebraska uh charles grodin is a very popular actor whose film credits include the heartbreak kid real life heaven can wait and seems like old times he is also a writer a producer a director a member of the porquettes and despite what we say or do on this program a very nice guy please welcome mr charles groden you brought uh cushions there as i see this show on television you're uh look i didn't have these cushions i'd be here right yeah so i have these cushions you get the feeling you're scolding your guests i feel better like this well now you look enormous yes that's the idea kevin's i i feel so insecure suddenly yeah that's how people feel uh who are on the lower uh are you comfortable i'm fine now let me just offer one suggestion you know of a talk show veteran that i am over your left shoulder if you take a shot just of david here you'll see a dog you see that dog that's right i suggest you don't have a dog uh behind you when you're hosting a show really it just puts thoughts in people's minds well that's interesting uh what is the nature of the thoughts placed in your mind the show is a dog or you look at it or you look at an animal uh i mean these are just the type of thoughts that you could have uh or people like to look at animals yeah and do you find that distracting it was to me i just looked at the animal what was the opening about the old no i found it distracting i i would i would not like to have an animal uh behind me uh or even with me oh just to suggest you don't want to deal with it now but well maybe we do if you want to go backstage i'll deal with the dog here i'll solve that problem you can come out later maybe take it down and put up uh nothing just leave nothing there that's that's one of my dogs no seriously is it that's stan that's your dog stand yeah i want to first of all i want to congratulate you on the show uh and tell you that uh this is this is serious i want to tell you something that happened the other day i went to a dinner party yeah this is not funny but it's true and the hostess uh was talking about you uh in excess really oh really yeah uh she talked about you she thought you were like real cute adorable uh funny and the host after about 20 minutes of this uh really was getting irritated yeah and he after about a half an hour i'm serious it actually happened like this after about a half an hour dinner party of about 12 people he called her a bad word what he called her then um she continued this is completely true have anything to do with a dog no completely true 30 minutes later she was still doing this david letterman is the cutest he's the funniest he's the best you know i didn't really like it myself but i wouldn't say it but the host then called her an even worse word didn't stop her and she ended the evening by saying if she could just see you and two things she wanted to do for her day would make her day see you and read the national enquirer that's true i mean that's just the point i don't know what that does for you but it's better than the dog that would make her a happy woman huh that's what she said so what i'm doing with you and my uh friendliness uh plan here is to start like with the criticism of your set yeah and bring you up then you built me up a little bit up to you know people like you as much as the inquirer [Laughter] we've done a fine job hopefully i appreciate that uh we're going to interrupt here but we'll continue more with the charles river [Music] welcome back to the show charles grodin is here fine actor and uh we at the beginning of the show yeah we made reference to your uh uh let's be friends you know they called me up when i i when they uh saw that i was gonna be on the show and asked me how i would feel about doing what they call a cold opening are you familiar with the term uh i've heard some people around the office use it and uh they wanted me they said would you come in and blow up and get very angry so that would be the comedy opening and i said i wanted to think about it because i didn't think being unfriendly was going to be funny which i don't think it was no i thought it was i found it amusing well you i think last night actually now that you mention it you were interviewing a fella who almost who did die right yes he did die not while i was talking to him but a couple of months ago he died and he's fine now so you said to him at some point um so you were dead right yes for the single best sensitive remark or talk show so you would probably find that opening finally i found it funny yeah well he was dead he knows he was dead and you were just reminding him and uh the audience that i i just before for anybody who tuned in late i'm sitting here talking to a person who was dead and uh he's sitting here he's sitting here anyway the unfriendly thing is the reason i said i would do it is uh to show people that uh unfriendliness really is uh stupid uh but now it turns out it can be stupid and funny but nobody wants to be stupid yeah even if you're funny but now explain the uh genesis of your campaign to make folks friendly oh i i became uh aware sometimes the last uh several years that uh how i was feeling had a lot to do with how people were treating me seems like an obvious idea so i got together with carol burnett and we went around to various shows and started to talk about the idea of how we treat each other for example are you treated uh the way you'd like to be treated because you you seem like mildly upset to me sometimes i'm i'm mildly upset most of the time is that because of the way you're treated in life or something that happened a long time ago i i well i have i'll go along with you on this i guess that that's the way i appear and that's the way people treat me in return i mean mean would be like too strong a word i don't see myself as being mean i guess others might use that word yeah see i think you come off like a but i think i'm sorry i'm sorry i come off like a and he called her a oh one of those deals yeah no uh the one thing that if i if i could say one thing and then get off it because you don't want to talk about friendliness too much on uh with a late-night audience you don't no no late night audience are not interested in that subject i found not in fact people generally are not interested in this subject uh and your rating on a show that comes on in this in this hour is like it's like a real like single digit a low single digit to start right i mean it is it's the nature of the time slot it really is it's interesting i hosted the uh tomorrow's show i had one of those weenie teeny little uh figures they gave you like a zoo or something you know so you don't want to like hurt it further with this but but uh gee uh charles we uh i know you don't have much time for all of this friendliness but we'll pause and we'll come back and [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] continue [Music] [Applause] hi welcome back to the show charles jordan is here we've replaced that ugly eyesore charles right you that's my new picture i'm not in a new picture that is my new picture i like that yeah that's nice you always want to make reference to a picture when you come on a talk show yeah you know can i ask you a question about a picture i asked you this once before did you actually see civil shepherd undressed when you're going to old questions you asked me that worked well i don't think that we ever got a a definitive answer and it's kind of thing that recurs and haunts you no i'll tell you something that did happen i ran into david steinberg at a gathering and he said gee you were so good when you're on with me at the tonight show i said hey you asked me if i ever saw sybil shepherd uh naked and with a question like that i mean it's a great question for a host to ask and i walked away forgetting that you asked me that question and not david steinberg the answer to your question is what was the question about seeing civil shepherd undressed in the heartbreak kid you mean have i ever seen civil shepherd naked is that the question have you ever seen david steinberg naked have you ever seen david steinberg naked between us who hasn't i've seen uh i've seen david naked well good good i'm i'm glad now did you mention a motion picture have you a new offering we can look forward to just that uh back there okay okay well i certainly appreciate you coming on here tonight and helping us out with our cushions and our set i appreciate it and uh you know next time i hope uh will you you come back you implied that there would be a next time i mean what i just said just now will you come back i don't think it necessarily implies that [Laughter] oh darn well we'll negotiate this over uh charles grodin ladies and gentlemen chuck thank you very much [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] my next guest is a versatile and uh very busy person he is just put together a one-man show that he has written and starred in a t i'm sorry is that the same one he has just put together a one-man show semicolon he's written and starred in a tv special with marlo thomas semicolon and he'll be appearing in drag dash dash in charlie's aunt welcome please charles grodin nice to see you you know you uh uh you're one of my favorite actors and i'm i'm glad you're back on the show tonight it's been a long time since we've seen you thank you sir for being here is that written somewhere no no it's the truth no i've always enjoyed your work why do you stumble over those uh that introduction that way we don't rehearse uh-huh well your chair is uh on the level of my chair this time the uh last time we did the show in february we're way up here that's right we we i suggested that you not but you must have changed that you this is uh the way it was a couple of nights ago you were bigger than if you come down because you knew i was going to well this is pretty much the way it's been since uh not since february the last time it was this chair was very low and you're you were way up here and people like jimmy cagney wouldn't come on the show that's right that's right we had we had trouble getting cagney in a few others right well this is this is much tonight you still have uh your dog back there we'll have the dogs yeah which i thought was not a uh great idea not a good idea no he thought there it is right right over there you objected to that shot you know yeah let me ask you about the uh the day uh you had a day in your honor in your hometown didn't you they not you but they threw one for you well i went back to do a uh one-man show at an evening of humor and they and i'm from pittsburgh right they made it uh charles grodin day in in pittsburgh uh for that day yeah which sounds like uh it sounds wonderful um it's not the way you think it is if you're you know if the hostages or lindbergh or people like that then they give you a day and it's it's an authentic uh please i'm talking don't laugh uh no this is really the way this happened and it struck me because so often when you see things about people think isn't that something the guy goes back they give him a day it sounds delightful what happened was that the people who were producing the show not not the mayor's office but the people producing the show called me and said how would you feel about having a day your day will make a charles grodden date publicize the one-man show i said that would be that's that's okay you're comfortable with that i said yeah that's fine and then for the next three or four weeks when i would be talking to the producer they never mentioned this day again my day you know and once they've introduced it now you feel like they suggested and people said huh i'm going to give him a day you know so after a while you're forced into a situation of saying to somebody you don't know on the phone uh by the way anything new on on my day yeah it came through but i had to ask about three four times and uh yeah and we they finally did uh did do it you go to the mayor's office they give you a thing you get photographed and everything was there a big function in the heart of the city no nothing no you just go to the office they give you a certificate they take a pic a little uh a lady that lived on the street where i grew up uh showed up a gray haired lady yeah and people thought it was my mother and so she got a big fuss made over her but it wasn't mom no it wasn't my mother uh now pittsburgh is a big industrial center and uh i i just did the steel workers really turn out for this uh no they didn't yeah yeah um was this a psychological kind of defeat for you yes it was yeah how how was the one-man show though it was very successful uh you know people that i guess knew me i don't know that i have a you know much of a following with the i don't know what my following is but the people that came enjoyed if it was very successful i'm going to go on and do it at colleges and uh maybe hear something that's good how long a show can folks look forward to when they come to see that was an hour and 20 minutes that's exciting yeah i think so that you could provide an hour and 20 minutes of entertainment for people is pretty it's very impressive yeah i thought it was too yeah it's not an ice show or anything is it no there's there's no ice in it uh whatsoever but chuck rhoden on ice might be a good thing maybe if you wanted to branch out um now we sort of touched on this every time i talk to you but you've you've had love scenes with uh some of the great beautiful and talented actresses as they say of our time name some of them i have it i have it right here i i have it i have it right here civil shepherd we know candace bergen goldie hawn farrah fawcett you've had love scenes with all of these women haven't you yes i have what was that like with those women or just love scenes just love scenes and if you have specifics to substantiate your theme feel free to include them love scenes uh love scenes for me are the most difficult uh scenes to do in the movies uh mostly and i'm i'm serious about this uh i don't know where to put my valuables because you know i'm serious you come to a studio and you take you you have your wallet and your watch and your your keys and your whatever you're carrying and normally what i do is i just take them out of my street clothes and i put them into the clothes of the costume in my case you know whatever i'm whatever i'm wearing but in a love scene uh you can't do that you're uh you don't have you know pockets you're in your pajamas or less often really yeah you've actually worked in less than say pajamas yeah so you can't what they say to do and people don't have this problem but i do i don't like to take my valuables and hand them over to someone that i don't know right they say give them to us we'll lock them away and the chest the prop man usually you know but i don't i don't do that what i do is uh i take them with me uh just hold them with me in my hand onto the set you know in my pajamas and i and i scout the set and look for a place to put them where i can watch them while i'm in the bed with the girl yeah isn't this a um that's why the love scenes are difficult for me it is distracting yeah and i think uh that it's definitely for me i am slightly distracted if you ever see me in bed in a love scene in the movies there's success i don't really throw myself into it the way i say maybe bert reynolds or one of those guys i've always got one eye on the bureau yeah make sure your comb and your personal belongings and car keys and so forth it's it's distracting yeah boy uh now how do what do these women do with their valuables i don't think everybody has this problem i think a lot of people just say here lock it up yeah i personally you know i have to know someone a long time before i say here that's right now when you say valuables what are we talking about in in value we're talking about uh i'm talking about sometimes you know hundreds of dollars rings watches uh you know valuables yeah so you don't you don't want to lose that i don't even lose my comb because i'm very personally uh attached to everything i have geez that's that'll be interesting now when we see you in a film in a love scene and we see your eyes coming i don't get offered that many uh parts that call for me to be in love scenes anymore i think i've hurt myself with this well now that people understand you know if there was a problem i'm not saying that there was but now that they understand you know well they'll understand but they yeah what are they gonna do yeah i appreciate you coming back here again and uh i'm glad everything is to your liking with the exception of the pictures but please come back you're doing great and i like this uh i like this relationship we're having fun uh and you look good you look well you look good you know and you've had a successful uh year and here we are at the end of the year and uh congratulations thank you the show was funny the one the one man show uh chuck grodin coming to your town soon look for it thank you very much we'll be back with marv albert [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] but it was all a bit but a lot of the stuff that i would do there even even to this day i mean one time the idea was that i would come on but he wasn't able to be there because he had to stay home because the cable people were coming and he had the afternoon appointment and they hadn't showed up so he was still there in fact he was in his office and that was the bit so i come in he's not there i look over i say you know what's going on i hear him on a speaker sorry i'm in my home i had an appointment i said you know i could have had an appointment too but i'm supposed to be here and i came here you can't just cancel an appearance like and there was so much mail saying why couldn't i have been more gracious about that he had to be homeless how much welcome back uh obviously still in the house and uh i'm telling you the second the cable guy shows up we get the cable back to the studio and uh in the meantime i'm very excited about tonight's show uh linda ron status here comedian jerry seinfeld and uh my first guest this gentleman has been with us a couple of times previously and uh well he's back here tonight we're not actually here he's in the studio i'm here in my own home in fact i'm not even sure i'd have him to my home no i would i would uh my next guest uh is a very funny writer he's also an actor and a director and as i pointed out making a return visit to this program a show in which he starred charlie's aunt famous play has just been nominated for an ace we're delighted to have him with us tonight please welcome charles grodin charles [Music] charles can you can you hear me all right yeah gee i wish someone had mentioned you weren't going to be here it's uh it's awkward to come out and do a talk show in front of millions of people and to sit out here by yourself it's really uh well uh i i appreciate you coming and uh just keep your hands off my belongings if you will uh charles now uh first of all [Laughter] charles uh do you yourself have cable yes i do uh-huh could you speak up a little bit i'm sorry i say do you have cable i do yeah yeah well i've covered that i guess and uh do you enjoy it what i say i say do you enjoy it oh yeah i love cabbage yeah now you this this charlie's ant uh that you just did that was for a cable concern it was yeah and uh it won you a nomination for an ace ace that's like emmy's or that's that's the the cable awards are called the ace awards what what does that mean the ace what is that you know best show you know like whatever a tone you're an oscar an emmy uh or something like how you doing [Laughter] but but i mean the ace itself ace does that mean anything uh uh i don't know that's just the name of the award yeah all right uh where are you where are you from are you talking to me charlie no no where are you from i'm i'm originally from indiana is charles talking lady in the third row um where are you from i was i'm sorry all right i'll tell you what and during the commercial you can go familiar that's all what david during the commercial you can go up there and mingle with the audience and uh right whatever you want now um i'll be finished here in about 10 minutes maybe not that long charles uh now in the charlie's aunt you had to you had to wear a dress didn't you yeah now uh was that an interesting experience for you no more than usual [Laughter] what was what was it like uh performing in uh in in women's wear women's wear the same was just putting on a dress and going out for the evening and uh was was it a difficult role for you when you said you wouldn't have me to your house that was a joke right oh yeah no no just a little preoccupied i want to just clear my mind no no that was this no that was that's your sense of humor right that was a joke now charles you mentioned my house let me let me ask you something about your house i have a quote here from paul simon uh an acquaintance friend peer of yours paul simon once said that your unflamboyant lifestyle is the clearest manifestation of a neuroses now he's he's talking about your apartment there do you have any response to that well that's your apartment right we're looking at now yes this is my home actually it's uh their places say something like that you know paul simon is a kind of like a uh you know like a party hat and a tudor guy you know like you know those things you blow them out and they come back he does that a lot so to him the way i live is uh you know like not not flamboyant enough but i consider it fine well how do you live if you had to describe your life i've got a chair and a you know a table and a bed just a minute is that the guy nope okay that's your cable guy no that's uh i think that's that's stan eating a neighbor child but it'll it's okay he's had most of his shots so don't worry anyway charles now tell me about your lifestyle again what kind of a place do you have why are you there again what are you doing there you're waiting for the cable man to come that's right you know i had cleaning to pick up tonight too i could have been i could have been somewhere no now charles we can get somebody to pick the cleaning up for you now now tell me about the the kind of life you leave leave no there's there's nothing there i just i'm just a regular person with a regular life i mean i'm not going to tell you things about my life anymore you're going to tell me things about your life you know do you do you see a lot of women no i'm married well see we didn't know that how long have you been married two months well congratulations thank you uh are you charles are you really married or did you do that for the cheap applause i'm really married well good i'm glad now um tell me about your grandfather was it your great great grandfather that helped write the gettysburg address that's right yes he did abraham grodden and uh well tell us how that happened was he a friend of lincoln's associate of lincoln they had a falling out because uh my grandfather was a very aggressive guy whenever he was around he kind of took took the position if he'd be with lincoln and somebody hey you know he would always turn around and uh lincoln kind of got fed up with him and uh he wanted he wanted to uh he wanted to say um he didn't like four score and seven years ago that was lincoln's idea and his point was that uh 100 years after the speech was given nobody would know what four score meant right which i think is is the case you know what foursquare means how long that is see my grandfather my grandfather was right and uh well i know charles he wanted to say 87 years ago and they had their falling out and uh that was it he used to use the word stupid a lot he called lincoln stupid you're stupid for the y you know s-t-y-u-p-i-d so they just got on one another's nerves you would have gone on well with him actually what uh what did he do after his uh affiliation with lincoln ended he had a talk show apparently was the dumont network i'm guessing wasn't it that's right uh now charles i know you're a busy man you're going uh to los angeles in the next couple of days tell the folks what the uh next project we can see you featured in will be well i'll be with steve martin at christmas a picture called the lonely guy and then a picture with gene wilder then a picture of my own called dreamers dreamers now a picture of your own you mean that i wrote you wrote it yeah you are a very good writer we uh mentioned earlier before the show uh uh you were telling uh people at the uh office about the uh the marlo thomas show that you were on recently right and that was completely written by you wasn't it yes yeah it turned out very nice thank you is there anything you'd like to say before we wrap this up charles yes i think i should be paid more money for doing the show charles i agree with that without you here you know it's uh it's it's it's it's not a way you know this is like one on one without the other one yeah uh and that was canceled you know charles i appreciate you uh putting up under uh less than perfect ideal circumstances well thank you you know and uh it's worth waiting for the cable and uh i think you've made the right decision thank you very much charles we'll try to get your laundry picked up charles grodin ladies and gentlemen the second the cable guy shows up i'll be there we'll be right back [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] my first guest tonight as a very talented actor probably has a star of his own on the walk of fame he's also a writer and a director his latest film is called movers and shakers and it will be opening march 22nd we're always delighted to have him on the show please welcome charles grodin hi charles how are you nice to see you again right over here you know you are uh i don't know if i said this the last time you're on the show but you're one of my favorite actors i enjoy seeing you in anything you you i don't know exactly how to describe it but you always bring so much more to the role i think you're very talented and i'm glad you're here thank you very much now uh are you on the walk of fame out there in california i understand why uh tony martin and gene autry are down there uh total of eight times between the two of them larry bud melman and and i and you for that matter are not on uh even once between the three of us see i think you could be on though you're a major motion picture star they would be happy to have you let's call that woman back oh oh i don't think so maybe upstairs afterwards i'll tell you i'll tell you what this this actually happened i came i haven't been on it on television for some time because i've been working on very busy movers and shakers right yeah directing it aren't you no starring in it well with with a number of other people yes who who else who's a bigger star in this movie than you walter matthaus in it and you're my kind of hoes walter matthau who else well starring in the picture vince gardenia tyne daly gilda radner bill macy steve martin plays a cameo uh penny marshall plays a cameo it's a good cast but you're the star well thank you very much uh no so what were you gonna say i was gonna say that uh i was uh i haven't been out of the uh the house actually too much lately for reasons that that probably wouldn't be appropriate to go into here i hope it was an illness i know i look good and i feel good i just haven't been i've been really focusing a lot on this picture and and this is this is really uh fun compared to some other things and uh well now like what compared to what other things life well this is life this isn't really life this is uh usually coming on a talk show which i've been doing for about 12 or 13 years it's always the most stressful time i found in the past but uh today i realized that it's the best time for me compared to sitting in your room working on this film or whatever or whatever yeah life itself has there been something awful happened to you in the last few months is that one well it's no it's nice because there's lights and there's people and there's uh it's just it's it's a warm atmosphere you begin to appreciate it more when you're out there in the cold uh when you said that the larry bud mellman had brought a lot of joy into a sad world that's true that's true it is true and that's why the audience applauded when you said it and uh and it's nice to be here with you and larry budd and the uh and the audience and and what i started to say was that uh i was walking through the uh the what do you call it the lobby the main floor to come in here and there were a whole lot of people lined up i guess to see this show and as i walk through uh what do you mean you guess they're not waiting to see live at five of course they're lined up what was this show yeah what was this what's this show guess the nightly news with tom brook studios with the yeah what's going on here all right but as i walk through the lobby uh people began to applaud and that was it was a very warm uh feeling because when you haven't been out that much it felt great and i turned around to smile and they weren't applauding me there was there was a duck in a tuxedo walking by and they were applauding the duck but but for the moment that i thought they were playing it was a lovely lovely moment yeah where do you suppose the duck was going i don't know i don't know where i'm going so i really don't know or like what you did you tell a joke it doesn't work you apologize and you know so perhaps we should all come out here and apologize up front for anything that's not funny and then uh we're clear yeah well we if we start doing that we got our hands full you know it's an all-day job um let me talk about the the academy award nominations are they in are uh you you're eligible for an academy award this year i'm eligible yeah for a lady in red woman woman in red and uh what do you think how many how many nominations have you had in your career academy award nominations uh none uh but you you could have been uh heaven can wait yeah probably should have had one there what about the heartbreak kid i could have been that was a great movie a great part yeah well uh you know you don't really think about these things until people start to say like larry budd i don't think uh two weeks ago was thinking about having his name on the hollywood walk of fame now you've put this into his head and if he doesn't get it it's going to be an upsetting thing well that's it's the same thing with the academy awards uh well you don't wake up in the morning and wonder if you're going to be nominated for an academy award but when people talk about you for it as they did with the heartbreak kid or having kuwait for a couple of things a couple of the others i talked about myself for uh and it doesn't happen then you feel the uh the so so now let's uh the woman in red and red and you don't expect like mel brooks said you uh hope for the best expect the worst yeah but do you think you have a better chance with this one this time no no no now is this going to bother you if it doesn't come to pass it might yeah it might now it never has in the past but you know when you have they ever asked you to host the academy awards have they uh no but if people have been talking about why isn't david letterman hosting the academy award why why isn't this man hosting it why is it always johnny martial then you start and then suddenly and you're not asked then you suddenly say yeah a lot of people felt i should have yeah well that's the same thing with the academy awards you get a little you can get a little you gotta even start to think wait a minute people are saying this guy should be nominated for this or for that or for this and then you start to think about it i don't know if you get pouty did you say pouty pouty i said pineapple yeah i hope that that i don't get pouty uh petulant oh petulant maybe a little petulant know no i i take it all in good spirit but i hope but uh but it would be nice you know it would be great if you ever do ever as a kid play sports they do a pickup game and there's like 10 guys standing there they'll say i'll take fred i'll take bill i'll take tom i'll take al i'll take and you're waiting for somebody to take dave you know and they don't quite get to dave until the end yeah well that's what it's like you know if they finally get to dave you're very grateful to be nominated or picked for anything once they once the game exists is what i'm trying to say well well i apologize i hope you get a uh i hope you get a nomination that'll be really nice for you well i appreciate that and you you actually did get a nomination and i think won an emmy award yeah an emmy awards i heard my name mentioned i think i was on one of the shows that's right i think you were involved in one of yeah that was and that was that was quite thrilling and it's in and of itself as they say on the train yeah we were very grateful for your potential i was grateful to be uh uh let me do a commercial and then we'll be back all right we'll be right back [Music] [Applause] [Music] all right charles let me uh during during the commercial break jerry mulligan from your staff came over to me and he said very nice and that's why it's nice to be here i can go like a long period of time in life before anybody comes over me whispers in my ear very nice that's the whole point of being on a show like this you keep bringing something up now something has gone wrong hasn't it there's something wrong with your life look and i started doing this in around 1973 actually with johnny carson i i said it then and i still feel it now there's nothing like being on a show like this they never there's there's no orchestra in my apartment yeah there's no audience and there's nobody saying very nice every 10 minutes it's it's a tremendous thing to be on a show what about what about your friends and loved ones my friends and loved ones are great but you know they're not saying very nice very nice very nice you know no but but there are other forms of very nice like good to see it charles can you come over and watch the super bowl that's a another way of saying very nicely watch the super bowl alone well maybe that's not what i mean is that you need more love in the world you need people to tap you on the shoulder and say very nice i just did it to you actually coincidentally during that i said that joke about not too close to somebody on the hollywood and that made you feel very yeah i did i felt real yeah and it's true and it's true because i because you feel it so it's just in situations like this you just come up with the very nicest more in the audiences we're all here to like enjoy ourselves which is not always the case of where we are yeah right anyway i just wanted to say that okay uh now in other words what i'm trying to say is is that as time goes by you appreciate warmth and kindness more that's what i'm really trying to say yeah that's not funny no but it's true but it's deep now you know what i noticed sometimes i'll travel around the country and i'll find that at certain parts of the country people are much friendlier than they may be here in new york city because i'm not that there's anything wrong with the folks here in new york city uh but they just for i guess it's because it's a smaller community they and they have a little more time less stress less stress and i find that very uh comforting that's right it's like being a small child again when when everything is pretty much taken care of for you and ultimately comfort gets to be one of the things it's mainly about you start to find yeah no i mean you're under for example we're under lights lights feel good lights feel good feels good to be under lights um [Music] warming to be under lights is what i'm trying you're sleeping in the park again aren't you yeah that's that's the problem a little bit a little bit now uh charles let me let me ask you a question about your craft by the way i love it when somebody refers to acting as their craft sounds like food services yeah uh well what now what's your do you have any secrets for you succeeded and sustained for a long period of time you have any secrets of longevity i was struck the other day uh clayton moore who had played the lone ranger for his whole life is now 70 years old that's right and a couple of years ago they ruled that he had to give up the mass take off the mask and give it to a younger man that the sponsor had chosen to wear the mask and clayton moore quite understandably was uh was upset by this and then about a week ago the court overruled that decision and clayton moore now can wear the mask and uh see people identify with the concept of wearing the mask because we'd all like to keep our masks and he said uh he said that he was never going to take off that mask as long as he lived that meant that wherever he he went he was actually wearing a pair of dark wrap around sunglasses in the interim before they said he could he could wear the mask and he's back into that but that's tenacity that's a that that's what i'm trying to say he is outlasted adversity yes and longevity is based on tenacity you have to hang in there and if they take away your mask you know appeal to a higher court that's right until they give you back your mask and then you get it back you put it on you don't take it off right that's one of the ways you stay in and another way you stay in is is recognizing uh well recognizing how hard show business really is to too many young people my daughters now going into this don't realize that that it is a very difficult thing it's it's a profession of very strong enthusiasms that are very short-lived so people can say you're wonderful you're wonderful and maybe not take your call two days later and if you understand that it helps i had my first job in show business i worked 16 hours a day and i paid 15 a week to do that this is true in 1950 what kind of job was it it was an apprentice and an acting company and i and i shared a uh there were six cots in a garage and my caught it was a mattress uh it it you you would have thought there was a dead rat in there and i complained so much uh that they took the mattress apart and there was a dead rat in there but it but it was show business it was show business but what i'm trying to say is that that's what it's really like for everybody people are disappointed don't give it up and it could happen at any time you could put in 40 years nothing happened the next day boom uh movers and shakers this will be released nationally i guess march 22nd that's right another fine charles grodin film well it's the first one first movie i've written and co-produced and uh spent seven years actually uh trying to get it on and finally get it wrong and good luck with the nomination that'd be nice for you nice to see you thank you thank you for being here we'll be right back we have to follow here for station identification [Music] [Music] my next guest is best known as an actor is also a talented writer producer and director his latest film is called movers and shakers and it will open this friday here in new york city please welcome the multi-talented multi-faceted mr charles grodin thanks for coming i wasn't standing for the applause i was standing to get a good dose of argon gas great i love to work in oregon yeah you can work in gas you know every time you're on the show i always like to start out by saying i think you're just terrific one of the the best uh actors and comedic actors that's ever in films and stuff and i and i just i just like to get that out of the way so regardless of what happens from here on you know that i respect your work all right what is going to happen well you never know you never know now tell me about the movie the last time you're here you were talking about raising money for it took a long time to get the money together yeah they're directing it no i didn't direct you okay you wrote it yeah you you produced co-producers sorry starred in now this is quite an accomplishment this is yeah it took it took uh seven years to get it made i i didn't realize it's a it's evidently considered an attack on hollywood of course it was in hollywood that i was trying to get the money uh and i didn't realize this i it's like coming to you and trying to get you to finance an attack on a talk show host name david letterman you know that's really what happened and i was so naive i kept saying why don't they want to make this you know is it an attack is it evidently it is an attack i didn't mean it i meant it to be a comedy but if you make a comedy about anything evidently it ends up being an attack is it a funny comedy it's a funny comment in fact after after seven years i just before i left to come down here i got the first uh review and it was it was great it said it was funny and accurate enough to be put in the time capsule so that's so that's the first review congratulations who's in the film walter matthau and uh vincent gardenia and tyne daly bill macy gilda radner steve martin so it's excellent marshall now this must have cost you a lot of money right there most everybody in the picture worked for nothing uh because they believed in you so much well uh they knew it was taking me a long time to get it made and a picture like this is hard to get made because it's an adult comedy in a sense it's not broad slapstick comedy it's more of a you know and it's a little more cerebral say than like well yeah a little more than that that's right although i loved your work in porky's thank you don't get me wrong man um and uh so they got behind it and uh we were able to make it for three and a half million dollars where it should have cost 10 million dollars and that's how we got it made it was a very tough picture to get made but here it is and you're proud you're happy you're loving the movie now you know i haven't i haven't seen it i'm awfully sorry and i don't know if that is offensive to you that i haven't seen your film and we're on here talking about it but i didn't get a chance in fact it really wasn't invited to see it so i guess it hasn't opened yet but i wasn't invited to a screening so i i hope that doesn't uh that doesn't bother you you're not offended no but you did have me follow the argon gas didn't you it's an offending at all why am i following the gas uh no that doesn't offend me no yeah well that's good that's good because i don't you know like i said at the top of the no i know as you said yeah yeah right now we're gonna see a little uh clip from the film yeah we gotta do a commercial first yes and then we'll see the clip from the movie yes we'll be right back [Music] [Applause] all right charles rhoden is here obviously and we're getting ready to look at about a minute and 15 seconds of your new movie movers and shakers co-produced written and starred in by yours truly right this is a this is a clip the the people in this movie are trying to make a great movie about love and they're having difficulty doing it so they decide to get this writer to do it played by me and uh this is where we first see me in the picture we find out why i'm gonna have a hard time writing a great movie about love okay and uh watch the monitors here in the studio at home use the tv looks real nice that looks like a really funny movie i look forward to seeing that i hope it does very well thank you and what's next for what are you going on to from here what's what's the next big uh conquest i'm actually going to do a movie in uh in africa and in london but uh the person producing the movie doesn't want it announced yet so i can't tell you well good luck to you guys i'd like to when could i be in a movie with you and i i feel like i want to spend more time with you well we'll talk about it we'll talk about it but think about it i think it's good we'll be right back [Music] charles good luck to you i hope the movie is very successful and i'm looking forward to seeing it my thanks to dick sandhouse and marv albert and of course bachelor of the month dave schmanski we'll see you tomorrow night [Applause] [Music] folks [Music] okay thank you very much uh rob rob i certainly like the movies that my next guest makes so i have every reason to believe that his latest which is called the last resort is okay please say hello to the witty and charming mr charles grodin my wedding my what an introduction that was nice to see you charles come on over how you doing is the phrase citizen's arrest mean anything to you yeah i'm familiar with that one that uh that blowing your nose joke oh that was just a joke i've been authorized to make a citizen's arrest here for that one i know it's a joke we all say it's kind of a joke yeah certain things uh yeah you'd probably never do anything quite no i wouldn't i wouldn't i would do a lot of things but i wouldn't do that you're more drawing room more dry more reserved i had been waiting i had been up until this this latest picture but even in this latest picture the last resort we don't uh will you stop mentioning that tonight okay well that's what it says okay thanks a lot dave oh the last resort is okay okay that's it okay how's it doing by the way is it a big hit the biggest grossing movie in the country is that right yes it is that's very impressive wherever it's playing is playing in a couple of cities right now it's outgrossing every single movie in the country do you know why no no wait a minute it's playing in a couple of cities yeah but it's playing against every movie that's in release right now but it's only in two cities so what what i mean when you're so what if you're the best in in two cities don't you have a reason to believe you'd be the best wherever you go was this film made exclusively for those two cities oh it's going to open in los angeles chicago and denver on may 9th oh well that's detroit may 16th so it opens regionally and then later on but it beat every movie and it's in seattle which is quite a big city a big market yeah and uh another city what's the other city i'm not at liberty to develop no this is it can't be secret i mean people in that city know where it's a very very big city a very big city but it's playing against every movie in america and it seriously outgrows every picture in america you know why well because you're in it and it's fine comedy but let's get back to this other city because it's sexy really it's sexy yes all right what what is the other city it's playing in it's called it's playing in grand rapids michigan yeah which has that see and now now when it's when it's done playing in either seattle or grand rapids somebody picks up the film and drives it to no it it it actually it actually is going to continue to play in seattle and grand rapids and then it opens finale then it opens uh next friday night in uh los angeles in 80 theaters one of them the egyptian on hollywood boulevard which is 1300 seats see i don't know anything about film so i'm i you know obviously you don't referring to it is as okay well it's just right here may i ask you a question i'm sure it says i have every reason to believe the last resort is okay i think it's a little better than oakland well i'm sure it is i mean it's in two cities after all you know it's gonna it's so you must be doing something right it's it's quite a funny movie and uh not necessarily your cup of tea [Music] given what i see you think is funny tonight but no other than that you know now that was i must say that was a departure we just did it because it was so stupid we thought well let's just throw it in there well there's nothing wrong with stupid is there no there certainly isn't you've built your whole career on that in a way all right now wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute let me explain that they called this new movie last resort stupid too yeah they've called it silly they've called it slightly wrong with being and that's low comedy there's nothing wrong with it in fact stupid pet tricks are supposed to be stupid right aren't they exactly so no one could say stupid petrics are stupid right they'd be foolish they'd be stupid to say that yeah well that's my point yeah all right now what were we talking about we were talking about the last resort well the last resort yeah but actually if we could change the subject just please do it anything you want to do about two months ago and i i tried not to do this i really did you know because i try to control myself but sometimes i can't and my friend said don't do this don't do this but two months ago i was i was up late and i happened to be watching your show thank you yeah and uh mary lou henner was on yeah and i had just done this production of grown-ups with her in canada and she said that she worked with martin balls and gene stapleton and charles and you said what's it like to work with charles grove that's right i hope you remember somebody no i don't and she said some very very nice things and then you said really i always had the impression he was a whiner now i would like to know was that one of your stupid jokes no i think i i think that the persona you project on on television programs is somebody who might uh find i don't think so i really you know i am i am a lot of things but i don't think that you could call me a whiner i i tend to get a little aggressive sometimes but that's that whiner i would not say you know and then i asked my wife about it and said you are a little bit of a whiner well there you go well see and i wrote that i thought i thought that was unfair though because you gave you gave you've had credibility the people who had already been attacking me and i resented it yeah but uh that was a joke yeah it was a joke pretty much well just like the throw in your nose well that was just that was just that was a problem that was pointless behavior it was uh it was we did that for but you you know you do you do uh i like you i have a lot of respect for you yeah i have a lot of respect for you as well okay we have to do a commercial and then we'll be back here with uh [Music] [Applause] [Music] back here with uh charles grodin you know what occurred to me the other day and i mentioned this to you once a long time ago you you've really worked with some uh wonderfully talented and uh beautiful actresses in your career haven't you yes i have you mentioned mary lou henner of course civil shepherd goldie hawn yeah list goes on and on and on this goes on and on yeah yeah you enjoy that well it's a stupid question of course you enjoy that i enjoy it yeah yeah yeah so um what are your plans for the weekend i thought maybe i'd throw that up in the air and you'd find something you liked are you a homosexual dad no i i've mounted a horse but i'm i'm not gay i just i don't quite understand the question what did you mean the question was uh uh just what was it like exactly to work with these wonderful women what could it be like it was wonderful i enjoyed it but did you find them temperamental now they're very attractive and i enjoy it what's the question do i enjoy playing love scenes yeah yeah that's it that's the question yeah yeah i like to play love scenes does it bother me that all the crew is watching when we do a love scene is that the next question there you go there you go no it doesn't bother me i i like the crew to watch [Applause] you like why why do i like the crew to watch yeah because of the time you you make a movie it's about a year before it comes out and then you could say the crew will tell everyone that he was kissing uh pharah fawcett or somebody you know good word of mouth otherwise no one would believe it what was that what was the movie with pharah foster it was called sunburn yeah and what was that about it's about sunburn okay uh mr grodden's movie uh last resort is playing right now studio 28 in grand rapids also showcase cinemas in grand rapids factoria cinema in seattle and also the sro grand cinema and hundreds of theaters may 9th yeah okay yeah uh nice to see you again thank you for being here we'll be right back folks [Music] [Music] thank you thank you very much from the commercial on late night now hi thank you very much oh god yeah yeah there's 4 thousand down the drain you know she has her own line of hats too this woman joan kyle john she does yeah own line of hats online artificial flowers it goes on and on she's very greedy i think very greedy she's lucky she's got a gig you know she uh kind of hard on her aren't you being a little hard on her oh emma dave uh my first guest this evening uh is a very funny man who over the years has been in such great movies as the heartbreak kid which here in new york was on last night we all enjoyed it again uh heaven can wait the woman in red and this week he can be seen on another network in a mini series entitled fresno always a pleasure to welcome back to this show say hello now to charles grodin charles nice to see you two of my uh you say that but you know who uh my closest friends are well no joan collins and lucille ball now well you know one of my favorite places to hang out as a kid with a damp basement do you do have you ever met jonathan i work with joan carter in acapulco in mexico in a movie called sunburn that i did with johnny yeah what was she like she was nuts she was she was uh oh she was fat she was a fat and they probably couldn't get her to come out of the trailer no no it's the exact opposite she was really nice now here's what i think probably not first so she sells some roses you know yeah but let me smell that look at that damn basement that's a good odor no she was she was as nice as she could be so she wants to make uh some money you know yeah but there are ways to make money and then there are ways to make money i mean she she ought to be on the street selling kleenex if this is what she's going to do kleenex yeah but people need kleenex uh now charles the last time you were here you were you were angry at me of course now what was that all about that was just a little because i i'm one of the people that sent out here when you start attacking everybody sometimes you attack me sometimes you attack evil gabor sometimes you attack joan call and sometimes just lose so ball sometimes you kill baby birds naturally a guy like me has to come out here that's right see that was that wasn't me that was that was those were real baby birds because i saw them coming up there folks afterwards you know now you can't do this you can't attack people like that without it because every so often somebody like me coming up you're not attacking people is that what you're going to say no not usually go ahead let me we are only in self-defense maybe no did joan collins ever attack you oh yeah we have a long or ugly sordid history with joan collins elusive bald really has it in for you well now see was that an attack so much was that it was kind of uh what was that that was like a pair of false teeth wasn't it what was that it was uh somebody put up a thing look this is david letterman it's like a pair of phones that's the well okay i know what you're doing yeah that's what i'm saying the woman is is uh yeah here it is it's a seashell thanks barbara that's lucy huh well it's a joke charles do you think lucy would find that funny well yes because she's she's the first lady of american comedy well let's ask her we'll find out i can find out and tell you if she found it funny and i'll let you know personally i'm not going to come on in i'll let you know we'll just see if she finds this funny why not no do you do you think it's that's lucille ball that's lucille it's just a yeah right it's just so you don't want to be called on anything it's a lipstick joke it's always it's it's i'm torn actually it's just a lipstick it's it's not about lucy at all it could have been carol channing right right i mean let me just make this worse but no we she's also very sweet yeah we've met her she met her yeah nobody's got it in for you for years though so you're right to go after her no but see lucille ball we think the world of you do yeah and she's so big how do you show that because we know that she's big enough to take just a little good-natured ribbing but you know her show is not at the top of the i didn't know that i didn't know that i don't care television either i don't know that no i i watch the show and i enjoy it and i don't care how the radio there you are well that's nice that's the kind of thing we want to hear from you a little bit and i'm hoping people at home will do the same thing you probably have something nice to say about uh about joan collins as well no now see joan collins crossed us how did she ah so this is like a revenge yeah what did she do she didn't show up what exactly did she do um it was something ugly she came up to the office and slapped an intern around what's the matter with that she's just being herself [Laughter] no she was she was actually very nice but you can't do this well she's nice to you because you're a big star well she'd be nice to you because you're you're uh this is when we got a nice jacket [Laughter] well in the rhythm and yeah yeah yeah let's just let both you can't do that you can't really attack different people and not expect every so often they sent me out here to say like go out there and answer for even gabor because i heard you attack david we didn't attack the woman was sitting right here we didn't attack her at all well behind their back is what i'm here for here no no no no we attacked her right through their faces that's fine because the person is here to say something to you exactly right now but see a lot of people think that but it's not true there's no malice here we're not doing are we paul no absolutely not see that that sincerity ladies and gentlemen uh now let's talk a little bit about your activities shall we don't you want to talk about something you're involved in i uh only in regards to you all right well i guess i'm not really comfortable talking about myself only a relationship to you am i uh because otherwise i'm a guy out here talking about myself and i don't like you you don't care for that no i don't i'm only out here today i understand that i respect that you've seen me before right on other shows by the way that that heartbreak kid is a very funny film you're very funny in that uh what are we doing oh we have to do a thing here don't we oh excuse me one second see they they uh people spend money to buy advertising on this show and they want me to hold up these props but they don't pay me any extra so i'm not holding them up anymore which you make enough like anyway so anyway we have to do this so i'll put this over here okay good luck okay go ahead this is the magnavax universal remote for your magnavax tv and virtually any vcr or cable system now that's control [Music] all right welcome back to the show charles jordan i don't know what that is is here uh the new mini series fresno debuted last night people are all excited about it yeah yeah are you oh sure you know me yeah uh what what do you play in this show it's a spook isn't it it's a satire of dallas and dynasty and and knott's landing and i i patterned my character after you and i i think you'll understand it more after you see the film clip yeah you see the clip and then i'll explain what i mean when i say fresno is is like the center of the raisin industry yeah i'm a raisin uh magnets whatever you call that you know but but i really patterned it after you no you did not yes i did no you did well i can make the case for that after you see the clip you'll see that i like your lights now who is this guy yeah i know who this guy reminds me of dave that's reminder that's right so it'll be a flattering portrayal well you can look at the clip and tell me what you think afterwards charles grodin who else uh terry gardner is in this carol burnett uh stellar cassar and gregory harrison and a lot of the danny coleman oh so it should be very funny and yourself and eddie stellar eddie stiller okay here it is it's a clip from fresno on uh another network charles grodin all right mama that looks very funny it is it is yeah that is funny when i when i saw a pattern that was just a joke no it wasn't a joke i mean this is a guy who does anything including having his brother arrested for murder to to to save his raising empire and yeah and i feel that you will do anything no i'm not like that anything no i'm not any you will say anything no do anything do you ever feel bad about anything you do on this show uh if you ever attack anyone and then feel badly about it afterwards what's over there nothing i'm just sort of shifting uncomfortably in my chair that's what i mean the kane kensington who i play never feels badly about anything he's sure he did the right thing do you ever feel badly about anybody you attended what have you ever done that you regret well uh i guess booking you tonight but other than that [Music] [Applause] i feel badly about making that little joke because now you're going to go and spread it around that i'm uh nasty but i'm not i'm a very nice person i'm i'm trying really hard to be a nice well it is hard for you it doesn't come easy to me it is i'm practicing because you didn't get enough attention as a child is that right i don't know i don't know i don't know in the child difficult no i'm sorry i should i didn't thank you thank you so much for competing with the baby birds no but you know sometimes charles uh when you're working in front of a live audience in the hot lights and the cameras and so for anything well sometimes right yeah i understand that i really do as a uh i understand it but yeah i don't want you to think i'm a creep you think i'm a creep no personally i as i know you personally in the green room and saying hello sometimes when i run into you you're like you couldn't be you're like a regular you're wonderful yeah well that's i am like that thank you very much god bless each and every one of you but but you send a message out to a lot of people millions of young people think it's okay to like attack anybody no no charles c now is that okay is it okay to attack anybody or anything it's just comedy we're just commenting doesn't mean anything none of this counts it's like watching cartoons on saturday morning which i know you do all right boy well i do and i'm not embarrassed to say that i enjoy it now none of this counts is the subject no it's that's that's right none of this counts this is not exactly the knight that's what i say because people accuse me of attacking you no no you didn't know well a lot of people have felt that i've attacked i feel you and i are could be close friends and i say this is just that's what i said i said this is just for fun it's like wrestling it's like professional that's what we're doing we're wrestling that's right it's chicken blood it's not the real thing that's right why chickens don't have blood well no chickens do but i think sometimes now you're attacking chickens uh let's my next guest no no we have to uh i just want to i just want to make sure people know what you're up to uh what's the day today fresno today is november [Applause] the goal of cbs is to come up on its last night on thursday night and beat bill cosby oh that would be something well last night it opened it was a block it was huge it was huge on sunday night with its two hours and monday night we're on monday night so we're right in the middle of it now aren't we right in the middle and we're heading for bill on thursday night momentum it looks like you're building it well everyone wants to know what's gonna happen yeah i know i do there's that sincerity again well no now i have to make a transition here and we have to uh thank you for being with us well i really uh what is it 450 i don't know what is what does he get for being here 49 nice to see you again charles [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] okay it's the michelob light thrill cam all right well a little music do we have time for this sure oh my god unbelievable [Music] [Applause] [Music] now now that liberace has passed this is the only place you can see these dancing wives now well we will be bringing these dancing waters to las vegas we're just taking a garden hose with us these are staying here but this by the way is the only place in entertainment today that you can isn't that a show by the way entertainment today this is the only place you can see dancing waters anymore let's bring out our first guest and see if he can't beat some sense into all of us he is a talented writer actor and director whose films include listen to this lineup paul uh the heartbreak kid one of my favorites by the way a fine film heaven can wait and the upcoming ishtar please welcome back to our show charles grodden hi charles good to see you how are you have a seat right there oh a woman a woman nice to have you here you seem a little uh i don't know angry a woman backstage was saying she literally fell off her chair when you were saying all those funny things about ishtar earlier and uh you know literally fell off your chair means you fell off your chair is it a redundancy to say that well it's a redundancy but i said look look it up in the dictionary because we got into a fight about it i said she just went you said whatever you what did you say about ishtar sure you don't want to stay in front of me do you no it's not that at all i just i don't you think i'm going to come out here and you're going to attack ishtar and i'm going to sit here and say no not at all what do you think is going to happen if you go out and say ishtar costs all this money that's probably not any good or anything i didn't say it was probably not you did a slong pause in fact i've seen this story oh have you seen you haven't seen it right so so if anyone knows anything about ish you wouldn't know i wouldn't oh well you're in it as a matter of fact oh that's irrelevant yeah well what was the budget exactly the final budget because it was it must have been less than your salary let's put it like this uh it it wasn't that much more than leia coca salary which is 20 million dollars that's his yearly salary but now in all fairness 20 million is not outrageous for a film these days is it no all right and uh uh and it was you and warren beatty and dustin hoffman and isabella johnny isabella johnny all right who's a frequent quest guest on your show uh i think she's been here once yeah she really has you ever been here no she wouldn't come here no she hadn't been here no but i'm i'm curious you're a guy that like you knows his way around a little bit you came out there and you you think you're gonna like knock ishtar and i'm gonna sit here and let you uh do that right well no i wasn't really knocking at charles i was speculating that perhaps with all of that money and with all of those big stars that may be the film you know when warren beatty and dustin hoffman together get what eddie murphy gets did you know all right does anybody care that eddie murphy makes that much money i don't care because he's so funny right yeah that's right does anybody look at eddie murphy and say god why do they pay him that much nobody cares right it's not like if they didn't give it to him we get it right so nobody cares but it's it doesn't it seem like you charles that sometimes there is an indirect relationship between the amount of money and the number of important stars involved in the film in this case yeah because it's a good movie they worked on it two years and you have some of the the most talented people in but wasn't it supposed to be ready by christmas uh wasn't it supposed to be ready at christmas yes it was so so what happened wasn't ready well it wasn't ready so people saw other movies at christmas all right i get to see this i know but if that isn't the most important thing is how good is this movie well yeah but you see if you're in a restaurant and you order a meal and the waiter comes over and says i'm sorry it'd take a couple of months more before we get here did you that could be a sign did you plan to go see ishtar at christmas oh you had your whole life planned for it right i said i don't think that analogy really where i mean the main part i disappointed not only myself but i flew my mom in to see everything when you and i aren't even on the air this movie's going to be shown to people that's classic that's how good it is yeah yeah it really is now do you want to run down the uh the plot for us no no it's a very good movie very good what do you tell us what you play in the film [Laughter] i don't mean no i don't want to tell you what i don't want to tell you what is uh i don't have a film clip you know i'm not even showing you didn't even bring it down i'm not here today that's how good this film is that's not neat it does not need me just word of mouth right honestly they've had three sneak previews i was at one of them you know when they say it went through the roof yeah it did it went through the room people go crazy they went through the roof uh and the repair of the roof screening was over what about some insight during the filming any insight insight any any trouble on the set any friction any uh spats any quarrels what about some insight backstage at dave letterman well yeah any quarrels any trouble any what happens behind the scenes here we do one of these shows every night of the week this is like two years in the making right right and you haven't you expect me to come on and trash it oh i didn't say it's not trashing at all no i just i think we're all you know why it took two years because people worked so hard on it seriously that's why because elaine may and dustin hoffman elaine directed the offering wrote it wrote it as well and uh and it takes a lot of time because it's it's worth it george stevens used to spend a year editing a movie yeah but then people look at giant or a place in the sun or some of those movies they don't say what did that cost or how long did he work but they just say how good is it and this is this is quite are you seeing just a little defensive okay just a little i don't know these are these are these are my friends you know if somebody attacked you i would definitely i'm not attacking anyone what are you doing i'm just i'm querying you you're queering me querying [Applause] [Music] querying you is that a verb [Music] you're not saying that you're a no charles who queries you query somebody it's a query yeah you can do that i'll stop it now you're making me sick i don't want to now uh but tell us about the relationship between uh warren beatty and dustin hoffman did it was it electric are you gonna make fun of warren and dustin after i'm gone somebody showed me that you're gonna do something attack them after i'm gone we're not attacking anyone we're just a queering wearing anybody well the movie's terrific you go you have a great time as i believe you will i'm sure you will i'll be mr writer i'll believe it believe me it's like it's it's i can get a screen it's very funny not a screen you have to go and like pay there's a lot of money to be made on this picture yeah uh and uh well what do you play what is your part they're now they're like a song and dance team right comedy they're a mediocre song and dance team that either can get booked in honduras or morocco and they and they choose to get booked in morocco because there are death squads in honduras so they go to morocco where it's safe ishtar is morocco and that's what historical temporary offering is that it's a contemporary offering so they go there because it's safe and then all right then the fun begins and the fun begins is it a is it a mad cap for us it's it's uh it's it's it's a realistic comedy it's a it's it's kind of like a modern day bing and bob road tomorrow very perfect now see if you mentioned that up front i think people would know what's in store but then what do you have talked about all this time uh it's it's a very strong picture strong picture yeah i mean it'll come out and beat the anybody who knocks it yeah screwball comedy no no no no no it's funny it's funny and but maybe more important it's it's moving moving oh moving it's a moving picture do you think it is do you think it has a shot at being the feel-good hit of the season i think it is it is the feel good i think it is that actually that's that is what it is as a matter of fact i'm going to get on the phone as i leave here and have a message feel good feel good no it's a it's a very very strong comedy the strong what does strong mean to you like something that's the satisfying artistically and commercially that's right uh all right we'll uh pause here and we'll come back to uh continue [Music] you think do you think you could have your friends warren and dustin come over one night to be on the show i'm sure they'd love to it'd be great to have them here i'm sure it would wouldn't that be exciting they're probably on their way right now oh really well we're going to be here before the show goes off all right well thank you but when you see him mention that too oh yeah sorry that's the first thing else yeah uh do you have any pets at home no you live here in manhattan i know i don't you don't have any pets you like pets do you like canada i know about pets yeah as a matter of fact i i uh i read a survey with the five most popular pets you do a lot of pet i love you but you should know what do you think the five most popular pets are in this country uh in in order of popularity if you want uh let's see uh owl would be number one no it's serious dogs are first birds birds that's right flying squirrels i don't know oh no what do you think of that you had the dogs cats birds fish fish or fish what's the fifth um jeez uh turtles turtles hamsters there you go hampshire gerbils no no what are you turtles no i love how people get into this sure no no mice mice nice nice well i think we could accept hamsters because they're in the road no mice but but the uh who's that up there in the behind the counter up there look at that look at that guy up there i don't know look at that there's a guy behind the book show well he's with the staff that's right is he he's part of you yeah he's with us no look at that do you get it you should get a shot of that i don't know we didn't he's very creepy to see it's not creepy it's a bookshelf there's a guy sitting on top of a bookshelf with a camera that's all right he works here he's supposed he does yeah he's part of our show yeah yeah mice mice mice are the fifth but the snake lobby argues that a lot of those mice aren't pets are just there oh they're just there to uh to to feed snakes no they're just there so they shouldn't count as the fifth most popular pet oh i see they just inhabit the house regardless the mice people say they're pets there's a big rivalry between the mice and the pets and the snakes is which is the fifth most popular pet is that right yeah that's what's mostly on my mind the rivalry between these two factions that's right the snake lobby is strong yeah all right did you know that no i didn't i didn't know anybody have a lobby in washington really yes what do they call those snake lobby snake lobbies yeah but what do they call the study of reptiles isn't that i don't know i've been in morocco for a while no really what do they call the study of reptiles well i don't know i prepared for this but i wasn't ready for that question i'm sorry what do they call the study what do they call the study of rap well i don't know like like the study of of the fish is sure that guy's with you dick dick theology study of fish that's the study of ikeology so i know that why because they asked me to be in jaws the part of the richard dreyfuss theologist and i said what's the part that nicki all is ah come on listen honestly that's true you could have had the richard dreyfuss i was offered the richard dreyfus bar but i said what is it it's an icky he's studying fish yeah i said who's the director he's steven spielberg you know what he had done he directed a picture called sugarland express at that time it also done the duel before that too so i didn't do it yeah yeah yeah you know any regrets about that well that's why i'm here except now i mean when's the last time richard just came out here has not been on the show that's what i'm saying but you're awfully good-natured about it well you know what can you do um [Laughter] uh okay now let's get back to it it opens up when ishtar you know something it opens may 15th may 15th right around the corner it opens right here in this studio we're preempting you let's go taking it right to tv we're taking it right you know it's uh you want to be in morocco and casablanca and you're a lot of play it's very it's a big movie i didn't come on here to plug this move but if you ask my opinion of it i'll tell you it's going to be a big movie you said strong it's a very it's a very funny good comedy yeah the feel-good hit of the season i understand that's what they say uh charles grodden ladies and gentlemen just shake my hand [Music] robert de niro does the shooting don't move i'll shoot you right through the glass charles rhoden does the complaining this is not good they're the best friends that ever wanted to kill each other you get it started and i'll run you over from the director of beverly hills couch has a different circumstances probably still would have hated each other midnight run rated r special sneak preview saturday night thank you thanks paul melons melons melons [Music] [Applause] [Music] our first guest tonight is a talented writer director and actor his latest film in which he co-stars with robert de niro by the way is called midnight run ladies and gentlemen please welcome back to this program charles groden always always a delight to have you thank you very much hi how are you now before you begin i want to point out i i like you and i always like you in the films you do you do yeah because it seems to me the last few times you've been here you've been a little testy can i interrupt you for a second sure go ahead why were you in makeup so long i couldn't get into makeup i have a little uh thing i do in there every every day you have two red dots in the corner of your eyes is that to like is that something to do to the right or strike oh i don't have dots in mind you have little dots to bring out your nose better i don't have dots anywhere now stop that you have a little white line right under this part of your eye i don't i couldn't get into makeup though he was in makeup for 45 minutes i wasn't in there for 45 minutes i was in there from five o'clock to what time did i get out 5 20 5 20. i go in there and i visit with my little friends your little friends yeah little friends we visited who are your little friends well i don't want to name them because maybe they wouldn't like to be known as my little friends are they but they're humans handsomely well of course they're humans yeah you refer to humans as your little friends well no these are people that i know and love little people not little people they're they're just people just people why don't you do your makeup at home before you come in damn it i did i needed a touch-up so are you mad at anybody tonight well ann miller is my stepmother i had nothing to do with you you called her a bonehead and she's and she's actually very self-conscious she does have a large bone in the back of her head and that she has concealed that with with her hairdos for years and you nailed her on national television as a bonehead it's just tap dancing for 50 years now you call her a bonehead i did it was it was an unfortunate coincidence i called the other guy a bonehead i don't know who he was one of them is a lovely man with the purple jacket with the purple jacket he's dressed like a man do you ever need to attack me i'm not attacking anyone now now let's let's let's talk let's change the subject yeah uh now they tell me in this film you have two red dots do i have dots oh no that's your eye it's the bloodshot in your eyes at that corner you know i have carpet worms oh really yeah what's that mean one night out of my carpet worms started appearing i can imagine yeah but i think it's the heat drawing them up out of the wood well there was someone living in your house for a while wasn't there [Applause] um i have carpet worms did i mention that that's that's for editing purposes um so now the um so now they tell me in this movie i of course have not had a chance we told you my people your people your little people no not the little people no not the bigger people it's the bigger people i see they tell me that uh this movie is is uh great and that you're as always terrific in it now what happens if as a result of this film you become a really big star [Applause] would that be exciting why do you think they laughed at that because because they they sensed that i have made some kind of awkward remark that i should be embarrassed for and i and i what is it i don't worms come out of your rug it wasn't that no i don't know what it was what happens if uh if i become a yeah i'm a huge star you know like a like a really not that you're not a star let's define who i am right now before we answer that question how do you see me right now i see you as your chair higher than mine still after all these years oh no i'm just a bigger taller i'm six six that explains it no no but you know what i'm saying what are you saying i'm just saying that if suddenly you became you know huge the way that uh because of this movie yeah bigger than you are bigger than i am wouldn't that be fun was the question wouldn't it be fun would it be fun yeah you wouldn't have to come on this show i would have to come on this show that would be fun that would be fun uh no there's a there's a negative aspect too because this is a picture that people are saying that it's a great picture and that anything could happen to the people uh de niro in it he may actually get work after this uh there's a negative side to it uh seriously if you if you if a picture does hit and you go up higher and become well i wouldn't come here yeah um i'd have to get uh i have a i have a dog your dog is bob right yeah i have a dog uh who's a mutt that uh i'd have to get a more expensive pet [Laughter] you do no no no really really really big movie stars don't have mutts they have like i have an irish wolfhand now on approval an approval what does that mean well i they give me the dog if the movie is a huge hit then i can cuz you have to have if people come over to a big big stars i expect to see an expensive dog over there and uh i don't like the dog i like my dog well yeah you should i'll have to go with the expensive dog see i think that's a mistake and perhaps indicates a really deep-seated character flaw really yeah no now you can't do that you've never been a big star in the movies there are no big stars no you're a very big star very late at night when no one's up now you are paul newman doesn't have a cheap dog i'll tell you that right now you know i i met paul newman you know come on come on you don't have to do that i did i like you anyway it was very nice we have to uh do a commercial yeah and then we'll be right back here with the charles grove [Applause] [Music] welcome back to the program charles grodin is here carol leifer will be joining us later and we have the woman who is the first female boy scout leader in the in the world that's marvelous that's were you were you a scout no i was a woman though well that's odd she's really in all the research i didn't come across that why have you always been what you are uh more or less really yeah yeah um you want to show a clip of your movie or not which uh have you are you gonna see this movie are you gonna say people told me no no i'll see it but i don't i don't even i don't think it's it's not even out yet is it no but you get invitations to like you're like on the inside everything i received you didn't right i did well i think i i asked them not to invite you it's your own darn fault no no this is uh yeah we can show a clip of this movie this one we can show a clip well this is give me that give me that thing you just put in your pocket i'll describe this movie so for people who don't know you and robert redford though i mean you and robert de niro would be enough to to go see the movie all right here's the movie described by director martin beverly hills cop breast marty probably called him marty on the set didn't you well i've met him yeah as an action buddy comedy drama careful no not what do you mean careful well you just look like you're about to say something insulting that's the way i was born i know uh action buddy comedy drama is that was that a how you would assess the film no no well how would you describe it i would call it an action buddy comedy action bloody comedy drama [Laughter] see all right well let's take a look at it here you you really need a set up for this clip i don't know what it is so what's the clip helicopter chase uh-oh i don't know i had to put it on it speaks for itself all right all right how long is this clip hal 107. seven let's roll okay here we go a helicopter what that looks pretty good huh it's pretty good pretty good pretty entertaining i'd go see that movie where was that scene shot this is the best movie i've ever been in seriously yeah it really is it's the best part i've ever had and it's the best movie i've ever been in i'm only sorry that you're not in it you you could use a hit right around i sure yeah with the writer's strike and everything it wouldn't hurt at midnight you know exactly that special guest appearance by david on the marquee maybe not even on the market would get up to watch the show if they saw you it's very generous of you to make that kind of offer are you no it's over yeah there's nothing we can do about it where did you shoot that particular scene we shot that in arizona but we we filmed the movie in new york and chicago and michigan and arizona and los angeles las vegas new zealand no you did yeah we did we did we did we did we went to new zealand to do we did we did we went to new zealand we did we did you've never been to i've been in new zealand i was in all right we didn't i see it i knew you didn't and what and how was de niro to work with i never met bobby no was it you know i was such a big fan i would have loved to have met him but i didn't get around to him never met him they were so busy making the movie never had time to say hello yeah the shooting schedule was probably murder wasn't it it really was and i you know he's a great actor and i really look forward to meeting him if we work again hey you're a you're a great actor all right all right nice to see you charles we gotta go have a good summer charles broden we'll be right back [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] you

Channel: Don Giller

Views: 29,305

Rating: 4.8761907 out of 5

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Id: kPnxK6X5uR4

Length: 99min 15sec (5955 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 03 2021