Charles Boyle embarrassing himself for 8 minutes straight | Brooklyn Nine-Nine | Comedy Bites

hey there boyle how was your weekend well actually i got a little sick oh really i'm sorry to hear that man yeah bullets over broadway was on tv i came down with a big old diane weast infection like yeast guys guys guys we missed scully's birthday and it was a big one i know i panicked and said i had to go to the vet because my puppy cat got sick i said i had to take my mom to get birth control pills this stupid limp is slowing me down charles can you give you a piggy that hey jump on it i'll give you a piggy nypd open up all right i'm gonna break down the door no let me do it charles that's never gone well yes but i've been practicing all right fine you get one try thank you police hands in the air i did it yes ah oil that's the bad guy yup yup the only way to make things right is to do the worst most awful thing imaginable dip your penis in vinegar what no why would you say that in sunday school they told us the babylonians did that to their enemies i've been terrified ever since you're standing look out we in the front door smoking a cigarette check it ash okay so i am what smoking you doing ah jacques rolls his own cigarettes a habit he picked up from a prostitute marseille but that is not all he picked up why do all your characters get stds because they're living life i'm telling you once they get their strong fingers in your toe gaps it's just [Music] i show up grind a bunch of gnarly rails i'm talking real fluffy ones radical i bet you're an awesome fluffer yeah i bet you fluffed those other riders right out of their biker shorts charles i can picture you as a teenager fluffing all of new york city cheryl stop talking fluffing has a different meaning we're gonna drive around in the coolest undercover car on the impound lot herbie from herbie fully loaded but no it's not the best case ever without some toys oh yeah toys for boys i don't know if i like that adult toys still sounds wrong male toys you know what let's just not call them toys that's my fault i started it you got it we'll just call them playthings we will not let's do this for you and you and you what are these these madame are stds what are you talking about buddy stds save the dates for vivian on my wedding ah yes hey just out of curiosity how many people have you given stds to lots like a hundred [Laughter] what's going on uh oh okay i get it std has another meaning you're gross no one else is gonna think that everyone is going to think that but it's sweet that your mind didn't go there thank you it is kind of sweet will your first dance be too you give me fever will you be serving crabs at the reception do you have herpes boyle why don't you show donger what a fax machine is okay okay imagine a letter had unprotected sex with a phone i'm working on a thing where when i'm out of ammo i release my mag and dropkick gets straight into someone's throat oh my buttholes okay i know you have two bullet wounds in your butt but you got to stop calling them your buttholes detective boyle i just wanted to say congratulations your medal was well deserved thank you sir your breath is terrible me and my main man boyle are about to solve a case isn't that right charles oh you know we will we'll call ourselves the night boys kind of sounds like a male escort service the midnight men even worse the dark stallions looks like we're going with the night boys all right let's go over our covers one more time we are small-time operators that just moved here from miami we piloted go fast boats moving contraband to cuba well we slept with the same prostitute no and she said you were the best she ever had maybe and i should watch you to learn back to no let's just not talk about our sex lives well we're actually looking for some work right now we just got into town for miami where we didn't sleep with the same prostitute yes the engaged life is amazing especially sexually well i don't want to pry you're not prying i want you to know this no okay be kind i don't have a model's body like you come on show what you got fred astaire gene kelly liberace diane keaton roger that okay charles you're not scottish yeah get back in there braveheart summer linen suit casual but classic actually not bad one question can you see my underwear ah thong why are you wearing a thong it's why something borrowed get back in there i have spectacular taste in men you would love nadia his name is nadia oh all of a sudden nadia is not a cool name you are impossible it's halloween i'm surprised you didn't put on a costume i was going to sir but then i decided screw that jazz well i'm the only one who ever dresses up no one ever gets my costume and they make fun of me so i'm done these people don't deserve my dress-up gifts yes charles seriously no costume what the hell charles where's your halloween spirit but you guys always make fun of me i have never once insulted you in my life especially vis-a-vis your appearance yeah man we always love your costumes remember last year when you came as that person and or thing yes i do remember sir permission to sprint to my car and get my emergency costume does it matter if i say no [Music] bam bam boom what the what why are you dressed up you look like an idiot but uh but yeah what are you supposed to be a sassy car mechanic no come on he's clearly the rejected pop-tarts mascot harry pop tart i am not you know who i am squad that's enough you're making boyle for batman purpose he's elvis yes elvis stoico the canadian figure skater no and now it's time to send in our cute little secret weapon i'm ready captain i love the nickname no charles not you i was talking about cheddar oh right obviously over the past month i've had him trained to retrieve plaques and now boy it's time to make daddy proud yes sir i could not have been more clearly talking to the dog oh hey donut holes don't mind if i do oh fish fish donuts boyle what is wrong with you it's takoyaki i'm drowning my sorrows in octopus balls what are you doing she's walking away i got nervous she eats octopus balls angie slips on the floor she's the perfect woman you guys were hitting it off i half expected to see you sitting in her lap by now she is amazing her palette is wide and deep gross and at one point when she wasn't looking i snuck a whiff of her hair of course you did i'm donald hoberman's sights i wear glasses is that all you got sorry i spent the cab right here imagining me and genevieve kissing not too late to ditch amy and team up with this pussycat burglar please boyle your only value was you had a doppelganger which no longer matters since bill died in that accident it can still be useful without bill no hole's too tight for these tiny tips for stealing stuff first of all throw up second of all how'd you get back here so fat if you get a box wet enough it's very easy to bust out of it no one asked any follow-ups i really thought i was gonna get genevieve out of prison then we'd cover ourselves in paint and make love for 25 hours one more hour than her and nick boyle you would hate that your little hummingbird heart would explode i will not be using a loophole peralta as always i'll be using the main hole or no hole i choose no holes you just said whole way too much sir and that's coming from charles yes that's concerning you

Channel: Comedy Bites

Views: 224,461

Rating: 4.9646921 out of 5

Keywords: NBC, Brooklyn Nine Nine, Jake Peralta, Andy Samberg, Charles Boyle, Boyle, Brooklyn Nine Nine Boyle, best of boyle, jake and boyle, charles boyle best moments, charles boyle innuendos, charles boyle best bits, boyle innuendos, brooklyn 99 innuendos, boyle innuendo, b99 boyle innuendo, brooklyn 99 STD, brooklyn 99 STD scene, brooklyn 99 diane wiest, diane wiest cold open, brooklyn 99 diane yeast infection

Id: AuMWtkufOL4

Length: 8min 3sec (483 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 24 2020