CCF GLC 3 Leadership Skills Session 3 Biblical Counseling Part 1

tonight I want to share with you biblical counseling many of you are familiar with the story of David remember David if I say David what entered your mind louder yeah what else but Sheba so you have Goliath and you have Bathsheba what about Bathsheba what happened to David in Bathsheba can you imagine David a king did something that is really unthinkable I like you now to imagine you are Nathan and you are going to approach the king everybody let's read together the Lord sent Nathan to David notice the Lord Nathan was sent by God Nathan did not go on his own God sent him remember that counseling is when God sent you to help somebody you will be surprised at the end of the session you'll discover God wants all of us to be in Nathan continue reading he came to him and said everybody there were two men in one city the one rich and the other poor Nathan invented the story many times when you want to communicate like Jesus he always talked about parables always about stories Nathan invented the story he prepared how to communicate to the king there the rich man had great many flocks and herds but the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb which he bought and Norris it grew up together with him and his children it would it would eat of his bread and drink of his cup and lie in his bosom and was like a daughter to him do you notice how Nathan was bringing the story to something very personal he talks about the lamb and how this land became so close to the owner like a daughter how he fed the lamb we have to understand the power of a story through preparation that's fine a lot was happened I am pretending I am thinking by this time David was probably curious what's going on let's continue reading a traveler came to the rich man and he was unwilling to take from his own flood or his own herd to prepare for the Wayfarer who had come to him rather he took the poor man's ulam and prepared it for the man who had come to him I'd like to believe by this time David stop David he saw the face of David and Nathan at this point kept quiet he probably was posing now if you are David and you hear this story what will be your reaction you see many times you and I can see the mistake of others but we cannot see our own mistake what Nathan did was he allowed David to have another perspective in counseling you have to pray for wisdom how do you show somebody that what he or she is doing is not right if you attacked a person immediately they become defensive here David was so angry the Bible tells us David said David's anger burned greatly against the man and he said to Nathan as the Lord lives surely the man who has done this deserves to die he must make restitution for the lamp fourfold because he did this thing and he had no compassion my goodness David was angry in fact David said this man deserves to die now if you were Nathan what we do see Nathan probably post for a while and then Nathan said to David you are the man David was caught flat-footed you are the man thus says the Lord God of Israel it is I I want you to count the word I how many times it is I who anointed you king over Israel it is I who delivered you from the hand of Saul I gave you your masters house and your masters wives into your care and I gave you the house of Israel and Judah and if that has been too little I would have added to you many more things like this what Natan was telling David David God has been good to you God has blessed you look at your life God has been so kind to you and I'm sure David will not be thinking that's true God has been so nice to me always talk about the goodness of God always let people know that God is good he loves you and then he continued now this is the crucial thing why have you despised the word of the Lord by doing evil in his sight notice despise what is the meaning of the word despise anybody this Pais the word despise has the idea of you look down you look down on the person you belittle you not only reject you look down God was telling David by doing what you were doing you are despising the Lord isn't that what sin is all about when we don't take God's Word seriously you notice how specific when you want to counsel people when you want to confront people learn from this story you have struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword you have taken his wife to be your wife and they've killed him with a sword of the sons of Amnon very very specific many times my mistake when I do counseling I am sometimes a bit afraid to be very direct I want to teach you today how do you counsel somebody how do you confront somebody so that they would want to change continue reading now therefore the sword shall not depart from your house because you have despised me notice despise me when you despise God's Word you despise God and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife thus says the Lord behold I will raise up evil against you from your own household I will even take your own wives before your eyes and give them to your companion and he will live with your wives in broad daylight what is Nathan do Nathan showed David the consequences of sin Nathan is telling David this is what's going to happen because of your action many times when people commit sin in their mind they are thinking of the pleasure they will get out of sin there is the deception of sin it makes you think of all the good things that will happen because of the sin the pleasure what you need to do is to bring the people back to reality yes that's deception reality is this when you sin there are negative consequences all the time but it does not happen immediately he says this is going to happen later on and then he tells us according to Nathan you did it secretly but I will do this thing before all Israel and under the Sun this is what God is saying I'm gonna do this against David then David said to Nathan I have sinned against the Lord and Nathan said to David the Lord has taken away your sins you shall not die notice what can we observe one of the reasons if you ask me why David is a man after God's own heart is when confronted with sin David admitted David said I have sinned many people don't admit they justify they give excuses they blame others but not David David upon confrontation with sin he said I have sinned but notice the grace of God Nathan said to David the Lord also has taken away your sin you shall not die why did God ask Nathan to tell David immediately you will not die can I tell you why David knew the Word of God David knew adultery is punishable by death murder is punishable by death in David's mind the day he admitted I have sinned I'm finished in David's mind he's gonna die because that is what the Bible says God in His mercy immediately told David no you will not die this is what I call the grace of God however that's not in reading however because by this deed you have given occasion to the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme and that to me is one of the most painful thing that can happen to a Christian leader when we fail and when we fall into sin we give the enemies of God unbelievers Satan and his companies the whole world to what make fun of God do you notice the world does not have a good impression of Christians because they remember all the failures of Christians you see the world have certain expectations when you say you're a Christian they have certain expectations rightly or wrongly so fellow brothers and sisters people are watching us and that to me is one of the painful thing when a leader falls in the sin in fact tell your neighbor it's painful when you fall in the same can I tell you why because the name of God the name of our Lord is affected continue the child also that is born to you shall surely die Nathan went to his house then the Lord struck the child that you rise with a board David so that he was very sick notice something are you telling me an innocent child will suffer for the sin of somebody else think about it are you telling me an innocent child will suffer for the sin of somebody else what's the answer look look around us today many families are suffering because of the deeds of somebody else the father or the mother yes or no look at this verse Nathan went to his house everybody read the Lord struck the child how old was a child when he went or died see we don't know when I can see men I'm learning I want them to know there are consequences so never ever think that your life is your life and what you do with your life does not affect other people that is just not true the Bible is very clear God makes no apology let's continue reading brethren now before I go to bedroom I want you to know something you may not realize it is one of your jobs hey let's read this together everybody will brethren if anyone is caught in any trespass you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness each one looking to him to yourself so that you will not be tempted what is the primary verb of verse one the primary verb is you who are spiritual rest or notice this commandment is given to all of us you are to be counselor many times we think it is the job of the pastor or the job of somebody else to deal with somebody else in I have discovered that is not true the Bible tells us if anyone is caught in any trespass the first question you know of somebody in CCF your family members your co-workers even of somebody in sin that's the first question I'm going to ask you the second question I'm going to ask you is this you don't have anybody around you that is in sin in other word you are living in the most beautiful place it's called the Garden of Eden alright so be honest with me don't raise your hand because I'm forcing you I don't force you you know or somebody today right now you know somebody today either in the church in your family in your office your friends who is not obeying the Lord who is in sin raise your hands my goodness if you know somebody whose job is it to consider that person louder ha hallelujah it's not me it is you the Bible says you who are spiritual restore the word restore is a command it is not a suggestion the word restore is used to describe a fishing net that is broken and it's being repaired the word restore is used to describe broken bones that the doctor will put together in order to heal it you men you restore the bond to its original shape in other words when you restore somebody you want to help that person become all that God designed him or her to be you see you and I are created in the image of God for his glory but because of sin we are no longer living in accordance to God's design you know why I feel this is so crucial because you and I are surrounded by many people who are struggling with sin the Bible uses an amazing world if anyone is caught it is like going hunting and the prey the bird or the animal is now caught it's struggling now what don't you do you have that person problem how do you do it would you like to learn how to do it so let's talk about what is biblical counseling but what is a goal of biblical counseling is to correct wrong thinking restore a right relationship with God and others and with self and encouraged to right behavior for Christ's likeness and for the glory of God so all of us have problems with our thoughts at times we think the wrong things we have difficulty in relationships we with our family our friends maybe coworkers and we also sometimes have problems in our behavior so that's why we need one another in this process of biblical counseling so it is based on God's Word this is what biblical counseling is the Bible is the inspired inerrant Word of God the final authority regarding faith and practice it teaches us how to live a life that is pleasing to God so the Bible have a big one here is God's counseling counseling manual if you buy a car let's say you buy a Toyota and the Toyota has a problem where do you go to find out how to fix it - the Toyota manual so if we have a problem we are created by God and he knows how to fix us how to help us become all that he wants us to become and to help others do the same then we have to go to his manual the Bible so that's one reason all Scripture is inspired our god-breathed and is useful for teaching which is what counseling is for rebuking also counseling correcting and training in righteousness so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work so the Bible equips us and it is where we go to find out how to do it so we use the Bible to teach rebuke correct and train to live a life that's pleasing to God but not only that you see the Bible is truth with a capital T everything in the Bible is true you don't have to edit it you don't have to correct it it's true not only that the Bible is powerful say that with me the Bible is powerful it convicts us of sin for the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit of both joints and Mauro's and even able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart let me ask you have you been in the worship service on a Sunday and Peter or another person is speaking God's word and suddenly you have a deep conviction and you're thinking how does he know my secret because God is using his word to pierce your heart you know years ago when we were still in a I am having the weekly Bible studies there was a lady that I'd been counseling she had just come to know the Lord but she was in an immoral relationship and to appease her conscience she brought that guy to a Bible study where Peter was teaching it was in the big theaters amphitheater style and I remember that night there was a verse that no immoral person will inherit the kingdom of God and without knowing anything Peter asked the man that had come with her to read that verse he said can you please read this verse and afterwards my friend told me the guy said to her why did he call him me did you tell him who I am and what we're doing no God knew and God guided Peter to call on him and God uses his word to convict us so the story of this lady I will tell you next week happened in the relationship okay so come back this is the two week series so when you give constantly you do not give your own opinion your opinion is just as good as their opinion it will not convince them but you need to use God's Word and I'll teach you how to do that the Bible is the truth that sets us free from wrong thinking and the lies of Satan let's read this together so Jesus was saying to those Jews who had believed him if you continue in my word then you are truly disciples of mine and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free you know we have so many lies in society today you know people don't have any truth they just caught everything is relative if it makes you feel good that it's okay we were in a conference years ago also in breakthrough weekend and one of the verses that was shared there was no immoral person again adulterer homosexual swindler slander will inherit the kingdom of God there was a guy there in the middle of the conference when they heard this verse he goes oh and you know why he was gay he was a very well-known gay designer and that was the first time he had heard that homosexuality was wrong because society was saying it's okay if you love them it's okay and he was so shocked he came to Peter afterwards he says I didn't know that all of my life I was living in sin and that day the Bible convicted him and he received Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior and he stopped his gay lifestyle cold turkey and up till today he is a follower of Jesus Christ living as a follower to honor him praise God the power of God's Word so it is based on God's power and love so his sovereignty you know when you're counseling you have to remember that nothing is impossible with God no problem is too difficult for him and his power is there to change people let's read this together for I am confident of this very thing that he who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus so when you look at people that you're counseling their life seems so messed up and you think how could they ever get out of this situation remember this verse that nothing is impossible with God and when you look at the mirror in the morning have you ever looked at the mirror and you say Oh wretched person that I am who will deliver me from this body of flesh remind yourself this is what you should say I am confident that he who began a good work in me will complete it so turn to your seatmate right now and say I am confident that he who began a good work in you will complete it and in me too we have God to do it so Jesus is the wonderful counselor in biblical counseling the Bible says for to us a child will be born a son will be given to us and the government will rest on his shoulders and his name will be called what wonderful counselor mighty God Eternal Father and the Prince of Peace this is Jesus Christ what kind of a counselor is Jesus wonderful so when you are counseling you are not alone there with that person but Jesus is there and you have to rest and his ability to counsel through you trust in him it's not about people obeying you or what you're telling them to do but it's people obeying Jesus through his word does that make sense not only you know so God is all-powerful Jesus is the wonderful counselor and the Holy Spirit is a counselor who brings conviction of sin and gives the power to change and he when he comes as the Holy Spirit will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment so in that example of the gay desire when he heard the Scriptures the scriptures are powerful because it was the Holy Spirit who was using God's Word to convict him of sin not only that but the Holy Spirit gives power the Bible says if you walk by the spirit you will not carry out the desires of the flesh you know those desires will always be there as long as we are here on planet Earth but when you have the spirit you don't have to carry them out you can have victory so use God's Word to convict them not you know short talk about their lean that later so his unconditional love this is what biblical counseling is all about but God demonstrates his own love toward us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us so Jesus knows everything about you so tonight as we are talking about biblical counseling this is not just for you to learn how to counsel other people it's also for you to apply it in your life Jesus is going to be speaking to you tonight so apply it first in your life and then you'll be able to apply it in others so let me tell you this Jesus knows everything about you sometimes we're an image management we want to look good to others but every thought you've ever had every word you've ever spoken he loves you with eyes wide open so you can rest in that love there's nothing you can do to make him love you more if you're in Jesus and there's nothing you could do to make him love you less he just loves you isn't that encouraging when someone comes to you with a big problem or a great sin if you can communicate that love to them be that conduit of God's love to them they'll be so motivated encouraged by that so say to your neighbor God just loves you just loves you okay isn't that don't you feel good already yes okay it deals with man's basic problem which is sin so we do have a problem but God demonstrates his love for us while we were yet sinners got Christ died for us for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God you see as Peter said and we'll be talking about we were created in the image of God but when we sinned we fell short and we no longer represent him as he intended for us to so biblical biblical counseling is not just to help a person to feel better but more importantly to become better so in the back of your book we're not gonna go there today but I want you to go there it talks about the difference between secular counseling and biblical counseling one of the differences is the secular counselor does not really have any answers because they don't have absolute truth but they're so what they want to do is to take away your guilt so they want to make you feel better by saying it's not your fault and the Bible holds a person responsible for his actions God does not excuse man's behavior so a person's past our experience what other people may bring a negative impact on his life but it cannot be used as an excuse for their present behavior they don't have to stay there so secular counseling will blame your present situation your bad attitude your your bad behavior on your persons a person's genes its genetic have you heard that its genetic that's a very popular one so if its genetic well you're not responsible you can't help it's your parents fault okay another one is that your parents because of how they treated you or other people etc but Peter but God holds us accountable now one day Peter jr. and I he was quite young we were in the car and health is around 10 years old and he did something that was irritating me so I said I don't shop but I just told him Peter what you just did is making me irritated my very wise and intelligent son said to me you know Mom you taught us that nobody can make you irritate it that's your choice how do you think I felt more irritated no he was correct that is so biblical nobody can make you do anything they can do things that could irritate you but to become irritated is a choice so we have to assume responsibility for our behavior so someone says well I said my husband's counseling him you know why do you lose your temper you should not be losing your temper he said well if I don't lose my temper my kids will not listen to me it's their fault so now he's not assuming responsibility the problem is but he did after Peter counseled him okay for we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ so that each one may be recompensed reimburse paid back for his deeds in the body according to what he has done whether good are bad now dis imagine this each one individually alone with God's spotlight on you will have to appear before the judgment seat of Christ now we will not be judged whether we'll go to heaven or hell but as Christians we already have a destination which is eternal life with God but we will be judged for how we have lived our life as a follower of Jesus and that word recompense can also be comforting because it means we'll be reimbursed so if you've lived to please Jesus and all in all circumstances to do his will then there will be a reimbursement there will be a reward so it deals with repentance and forgiveness which is one of man's most important needs to forgive and be forgiven and be kind to one another tender-hearted forgiving each other just as Christ has also forgiven you so we need this and we need to communicate this to them now unforgiveness did you know as a stronghold of Satan you know that it's what we call a respectable skinned sin we make excuses for it well if I forgive them too fast then they won't see the consequences of what they've done so we withhold forgiveness are you want to make them suffer a little but it's a command and it should be done immediately if not there will be stronghold of Satan so there was a lady who was very sickly and Peter went to pray for her and when he prayed for her at the end of the prayer he said well if there any way if there's any strongholds in this lady's life any demonic influences then I command you in Christ's name to leave her do you know what happened the lady shouted shrill aloud and she and Peter jumped back he was so scared and she fell down and it was and he said what is this and she took him to a corner in her house and in that corner were the pictures of her parents and he said well what's the story and she said I have hated my parents for how they treated me and I have never forgiven them so the Bible says that you should forgive and don't give Satan an opportunity by unforgiveness so we need it and she did that day and she was delivered and most of her sicknesses left her also so it seeks to help a person to think consistently with the truth of God's Word what a peace person things impacts his actions and emotions do you believe that what you think affects how you feel and how you feel will affect what you do example you have a relative who was going to go to Cebu and they rode the ferry and there was a typhoon and the ferry sink and you were not you were wondering is my relative okay cuz many had died you didn't have any communication but someone called you and said that your relative which was your father had passed away how would you feel you think my dad died so now you feel really sad right what you think will affect how you feel and maybe you're gonna be angry at God God why did you do this to my family why is just my father but then you receive a call from your dad and you find out dad where are you what happened he said I was able to make it to the shore on some you debris from the ship and I'm alive and well how are you gonna feel happy excited praising God because what you think will affect how you feel and what you do so in counseling that's why you have to bring the Bible says every thought captive to the Scriptures and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ so I do struggle with unbiblical thoughts at times you know what it's a funny thing but there are times when I would wake up at night and Peter is not in the bed beside me and I don't know where he is and I'm thinking oh no was there a rapture and I was left behind I really thought that not not just once but then I have to recalibrate my thinking back to biblical thinking what is that God says if you ask me to save you and you're trusting me to be your Lord and Savior then you have eternal life and I will be part of the rapture you know then Peter will eventually appear and you know I have peace but I had peace before because I remember God's words so you need to rebuke those thoughts ladies and men what are the thoughts in your mind that are unbiblical and do not stay there but put in the biblical thought from God's Word take every thought captive so don't put your thoughts on autopilot be aware of what you're thinking and that's why the Bible says whatever is good what is honorable you think on these things what is biblical why because we are in a spiritual battle for the Bible says we wrestle not against what flesh and blood but against the rulers the powers against the world Force's of the darkness against spiritual forces of wickedness in heavenly places there is a demon army you know that there's a demon army your husband is not your enemy your wife is not your enemy your children your co-workers are not your enemies we have one enemy it's Satan there was a retreat where to this missionary couple was teaching and they started discussing something in their room and then they started arguing and instead of being two met together in the middle of the room they they were backing off and they were talking louder and louder and louder until suddenly one of them said hey you're not my enemy it's Satan so they went together in the middle of the room and they they confess their sin of anger and they prayed together they recalibrated their thinking back to God's words so we are in a spiritual battle and what is Satan called what's what are some of his names the saver a liar accuser so you have to be very aware and don't believe his lies and when you see people in counseling help them also to become aware when a person changes is thinking and his behavior his emotions will change also for awesome man thanks within him so he is so that's why do a lot of that in counseling looking at what a person's thinking so what is biblical counseling subjective to help a person mature as a committed follower of Jesus Christ so look at this with me to be controlled and empowered by the Spirit to have christ-like behavior to love God with all their heart to love others as themselves to please and honor God to be committed to fulfilling God's Great Commission and to be of course Christ like I said so this is where we're moving people so when a person comes to you for counseling many times they have a very big problem and they're quite stressed out have you experienced that or yourself you have a very big problem and you seem like how can this ever be solved when you have a big problem how big is God in your mind it's a small God so when people come to us with a big problem then we should have let them see how big God is Peter mentioned that how good god is how powerful God is that no problem is too difficult from him so from alienation from God to salvation from wrong thinking to the truth from sin to sanctification from fear to faith from depression to anticipation from compromise to commitment from bitterness to forgiveness from worry to worship so when they leave they're spending time with you and going over God's Word together they should be encouraged and excited I tell people the bigger the problem the more excited you should be to see what God is going to do you should anticipate what God will do so turn to your seatmates say the bigger the problem the greater is my anticipation to see what God will do so do you have problems right now you have a big God don't worry don't despair because God is there so now we're gonna talk so first what is biblical counseling now who is called to do biblical counseling who do you know you yes you so turn to your neighbor and say you now say me Peter said that right we are to restore such a one who has gotten into sin so God has equipped us with the Holy Spirit we have God's Word we have Jesus the wonderful counselor how many of you have run in a marathon anyone ok I have 15 miles it was a worse 15 miles of my life I was asking myself why am I doing this you know I needed encouragement to finish because I felt like giving up you know sometimes you'll stumble and fall you need to be pulled up again and that's what it is we're in this journey of following Jesus together it's a lifelong marathon sometimes you will just want to give up and that's what it that's what counseling is it is encouraging one another as a way of life so take care brethren that there be in any one not being any one of you an evil unbelieving heart that falls away for the living God but what encourage one another how often day after day as long as it is called today so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin so encouragement that is what counseling is so let me ask you how many of you are encourages raise your hand how many of you are more correctors raise your hand most of us we know our correctors I think one of our friends told Peter I know my spiritual gift Peter said what's your spiritual gift he said it's correcting other people Peter said that is not a spiritual gift that is a problem he changed by to an encourage your okay so daily mindset be an encouraging now who is called to do biblical counseling well D group and D twelve members are called to counsel one another that's why we're here training you how to do it and brethren even if anyone is caught in any trespass you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness each one looking to yourself so that you two will not be tempted now some of my D group members are here have you had this experience and the D group of course we feel free to open up because we have relationships so you'll share a problem when you share a problem what happens usually other people in the group will say oh yeah I had a similar problem and this is how God helped me through it and they will share with you of experience that you know I'm the leader of the D group but I'm also mentored by my D group and I'm also encouraged by my T group yesterday I met with them and they all prayed for me for today so it's mutual encouragement and accountability and then follow-up so if someone will come to me they say I want to be counseled then I'll ask them are you in a discipleship group and if they say they are then I say well if I'm going to counsel you you have to bring your disciple ship leader to the counseling session your D group leader and if they ask me why I'll tell them and I'm telling you do not counsel someone from another group if their leader is not there because if the person tells their story it's hard enough to tell it once but if the if the count if their D group leader is not there then they have to tell it again and then for follow-up they also need to be followed up by their D group leader and by their group and you won't be able to do that so Peter if ever I counsel someone who's in the D group and their D group leaders not there I will always get scolded by my husband because that is the that is the better policy does it make sense okay research has shown that counseling and healing are most effective in a community such as small groups this is Larry crab now Peter and I went to the states and we were trained under Larry crab for a couple of weeks and he's a very well-known psychologist but before he was counseling people one-on-one for years but the last time it came to Manila which was some years ago he had a conference and he said in the conference exactly this that healing comes in community so aren't we fortunate in CCF that we have discipleship groups and that's how people will grow and really become committed followers of Christ as we encouraged and counseled one another it at least until recently counseling was usually a one on one relationship this type of counseling between individuals can be helpful but the benefits are likely to be greater when the counseling is part of one or more supportive caring groups this is Gary Collins a very well-known psychologist counselor as well so this is our benefit in CCF so I praise God how many of you here decide big up leaders can you raise your hands almost all of you praise God and so those whose hands are not up after tonight you're begin to think how will they become a D group leader right okay so the prerequisites now of the counselor so we have talked about what what is biblical who is called to do biblical counseling and now what are the prerequisites of the counselor so obviously you need to be in dwelt and in controlled by the Holy Spirit this is so important because apart from Jesus you can do nothing but when you're controlled by the Spirit then you can ask for wisdom and he will he will speak to you and he will speak through you and he will empower you to know the needs of the person and of course when you're controlling spirit you will be a good example you will look like Christ so in order to have credibility to be able to counsel people you need to walk your talk have you heard that now my daddy was a pastor he was a navy chaplain he was a counselor and a very wise man and he said to me you know Dianna if a person does not walk their talk they should not talk make sense right if you're not gonna walk your talk please don't talk because then it dishonours the name of the Lord but we should not be like that we should walk our talk so be motivated by love you can hate the sin but you can love the sinner unconditionally it's actually Jesus love through you when I'm counseling people I feel the love of God for them and I tell them that you know sitting here I'll tell them right here with you I feel God's love for you he just loves you so much and he's loved you eternally you know when we got married I got a picture of God's love after our wedding ceremony and we were on our honeymoon Peter said you know Dianna I love you I will always love you and there's nothing you can do to make me stop loving you isn't that sweet I've done a lot of things not intentionally like I bumped all of his cars as you've heard testimonies that's true I still spill water on him in the airplanes but he still loves me it's a miracle and it motivates me to become better so be motivated by love when you look at people when you talk to them and let them know how much Jesus loves them don't be judgmental are proud you know why actually there's nothing good in us apart from Christ when you're looking at them and you think how can they be like that I'm telling you you can be just as bad I can be just as bad for I know Paul says that nothing good dwells in me that is in my flesh do you know what actually all of us have retractable horns have you seen cat claws when the cat gets irritated what happens okay well we have those retractable horns and it's only the power of the Holy Spirit that can push them down now I have them too I'm not saying you me too so we have to be controlled by the Spirit we have to be motivated by love don't be judgmental or proud because apart from God we would be the same know that we are capable of the worst sin apart from the grace of God so therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall do you know a number of years ago one of our leaders in CCF who had been a very immoral person before coming to Christ came to Peter one day and I happened to be there when he said to Peter you know Peter that used to be my problem immorality but I'm not vulnerable to that anymore it is not my problem and I got so scared for him because that was a pride statement and do you know what happened not long after that he got into an immoral relationship we are capable of the worst of sins apart from the grace of God so if you know that then you will not be judgmental you can just say Lord except for your grace I would be sitting right there now and I would be able not able to live the life that's gonna please you so we are not superior to the person we counsel this we have to know that we should see ourselves as a helper actually not a counselor you know in psychological counseling the counselor acts as one who holds the mysteries of change in a generally maintained a superior position in relation to the counseling but this is not so and biblical counseling we're not a biblical counseling guru biblical counseling the counselor shares with a counselor the office of priesthood of all believers we're we're equal and in biblical counseling the counselor and the counselor children in the family of God they are partners in the process of change the Lord desires to bring the counselor is not in a position of a superiority to the one being counseled he and the counsel II received from God now I'm gonna tell you a story that I'm not proud of but we have to be authentic right so this happened a number of years ago also and it really only happened once but that doesn't make it any better we were on our way to a Bible study in Makati Peter and me were in the car we were on Enza and I was sharing with him about a Bible study with women that I had and my husband as he was driving told me you know Diana stop the Bible study that is not your priority and I was so upset I thought how unspiritual of him I have all these women that are growing I thought they're growing and why would he say that to me so I said to him and irritation why are you like that why can't you be some more supportive of me as my husband's friends are and I named one man that was very supportive and he was quiet and I was very upset by the time we got to the Bible study he said let's go upstairs and I said no I'm not going upstairs I'm staying in the car because I didn't feel I could go there I'd be a hypocrite pretending to be okay when I wasn't so I was in the car praying and crying he went upstairs and everyone said oh hi Peter where's Diana he said she's in the car and they said well why don't you go down and get her so he came down and he apologized and I thought he half apologized but I said okay I forgive you and I went upstairs but I still was ruminating on what he had done and when I got into the Bible study I entered the door and I saw everybody and I just burst into tears I started crying uncontrollably and I ran bathroom so here I am in the bathroom crying and one of my friends whom I had counseled many times came to the bathroom and she put her arm around me and she said Diana what's wrong and so I started to share you know what was bothering me and she said uh-huh how she listened to me and then she started to counsel me with the same words that I had counseled her so here I was so humbled and her her advice was good actually she was telling me what I should do and then she even hugged me and prayed for me so here now I who had been counseling her was now being counseling but counseled by her and she really helped me went back into the Bible said he apologized and we were on our way home then now I knew that I need to apologize to my husband I had not apologized yet you know the Word of God will convict us God says be tender-hearted forgiving each other and you have to ask for forgiveness and I know my husband is a corrector so if I apologize he's gonna start correcting me so I didn't want to apologize so I'm here struggling with God and then I just looked up around etsy if you remember there's a really big sign there it's a Nike sign what is Nike say just do it I got Lord why are you so hard on me and so you know I said okay okay I'll do it I give me power by the Holy Spirit so I turned to my husband said Peter please forgive me for my disrespectful attitude for what I said to you I'm really sorry and you know it's like God put a spotlight on his face and I saw tears running down his cheeks and I'd really hurt him by my attitude and I I realized that night you know that when you think your relationship is destroyed already by what you've done that it can be restored restored by forgiveness you know we always had a sweet relationship and I thought it's never gonna be sweet again but you know as soon as that I said I'm sorry then God restored that sweetness so we forgiveness we all need it and it's the oil that reduces friction and relationships and can help restore them back to where God wants them to be praise God so we're not always the counselor we're in this journey together of helping one another no your adequate it comes from God not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything nothing is coming from ourselves but our what adequacy is from so don't ever think that you're a capable counselor because that is the time that you will fail there was a time that some lady said to my friend oh you go to Dianna she's a good counselor should be able to help you I heard what she said and I was so pressured to be that good counselor so when the lady walked in she was depressed and you know what when she left she was depressed still and I was still depressed because I've been trying to impress her I wasn't dependent on the spirit I was trying to live up to someone's expectations and so God showed me that we are not adequate we have to be desperately dependent on God say that with me desperately dependent on God so God to us he says all that you aren't I am and all that you can't do I can can you read that with me all that you aren't I am and all that you can't do I can isn't that encouraging so God will do it through us and for us so know the Bible this is a very big prerequisite know the Bible let me ask you be honest how many of you have read through the whole Bible one time raise your hands well getting better how many have read through it twice okay three times okay four times okay now let me tell you something this is God's manual so we should be reading if you have not read through it don't despair you still have time to do it if you can't finish it this year finish it next year but make it a goal make it a project can I tell you what I've learned also if you have the you version of the Bible you can actually do audio and some some books are better with audio like maybe Exodus or Leviticus when you listen you can see pictures of what it looks like so Peter and I go through the Bible every year because we need to know it but we also listen through the - and we're walking I'm listening to the Bible with Peter as well so be do your best to present yourselves to God as one approved a work man that does not need to be ashamed who correctly handles the word of truth so inviting the Bible biblical counseling you need to know God's Word but I have put in the back of your booklet also a number of Bible verses by topics that you can take a picture of and put them on your phone so if you need a ready reference you can use that but I would suggest this week to read through those Bibles and Mark the ones that you really like that you would want to use in counseling also when you're reading the Bible if you have an alphabetical like a book with ABCD if you read a book example an anxiety a verse then you can write down that verse under a anxiety a or what about B bitterness so you can have your own kotico and I had that I had a notebook that I would always carry with me before but now you have the cell phone you can also text in you know a verse but it's hard if you're counseling you don't want to do that so be ready biblical perspective on man so we are created in by God in His image isn't that amazing that God would want to create us in his own image in the image of God he created him male and female he created them so in biblical counseling we need to look at the whole person as God intended him to be and as he is right now and how we can move him to where God wants him to be and where they would need to grow in Christ so we are created in God's image meaning where personal beings we are relationship relational is that right we were made for love relationships and we are rational beings we can think and we can reason like God and we are also volitional beings we have a will like God as well we have emotions as God does we can fear we can love we can have joy we can appease because that is who God is also so that's part of his image and but because of sin we are fallen image bearers you see God wanted us to reflect his glory but when we sinned then as the Bible says all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God which we read earlier so what is sin it's an irrational energy of rebellion against God a lawless habit of self-willed arrogance expressing itself an egoism of all kinds can you relate so remember when that was telling me ask your husband forgive for forgiveness I didn't want to I was resisting that was rebellion but by God's grace by the power of the Spirit I did it you know I have grandchildren and one day I was with one of my daughters and she was gonna bring her children biking and she told her daughter put on your slippers and her daughter said I don't want to I was looking and then her mother said I said put on your slippers her daughter said I don't want to and I'm thinking how can the child say that and then God reminded me sometimes Diana you're like that too when God's Word says something we're thinking I don't want to are you maybe we're like are my friend she came to me one day and she said you know she's a new believer I've been reading my Bible and I'm so excited I want to show you I'm even underlining it and so she opened her Bible to Ephesians it says wives be submissive to your own husband's as to the Lord but it was all not underlined she had taken pen to pen and she had eradicate it raised it I mean literally I'm not making this up I was shocked she had actually blacked it out and I was thinking how could she do that then I realized we do it all the time God says something in his word and we don't want to do it we just black it out that is sin so we're guilty get are you guilty yes okay so we're at least you're not guilty of lying we can trust in Jesus Christ to be our Lord and Savior when we trust in Jesus Christ to be our Lord and Savior we are reconciled to God and recreated in Christ that is the good news and that's what we as a counselor are a helper to others can communicate to them now all these things are from God who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us what the Ministry of reconciliation what a privilege to help people be reconciled to God to become all that God wants them to be and to do all that he wants them to do that is true success to be christ-like in attitude and actions and so we're gonna look at a chart before we have a workshop so personal beings when you look at a person you look at yourself have this chart in mind so as personal beings created in the image of God we have love relationship with God and others and before the fall we were fulfilled securing God's love we had significance because we had purpose in life God told us to go and tend the garden to work and serve him but after the fall we are we are empty we have wrong strategies on how to have security and significance we think it's through popularity to position through possessions and so we compromise to get it but when we created in Christ we're supposed to look like this reconciled to God complete in Christ secure and God's love significant as God's child doing his will but that reality is that we can go back to what we look like before we were Christ that's called a carnal Christian and that's what many people struggle with when they come to you they need to be reminded of who they are now in Christ so as rational beings we can think and reason so before the fall we had accurate based on the truth based on God's Word after the fall corrupted based on human ideas and philosophies and in Christ though renewed in our mind we have the mind of Christ so we want to look at a person's thinking what are they thinking and how can they have the mind of Christ so volitional be we have a will to make moral choices before the fall right choices righteous behavior but after the fall sinful choices unrighteous behavior but now in Christ we can make right choices led by the spirit and empowered by the spirit Galatians 5:16 so that's where you also want to see what are the choices they're making are they the choices that you make in Christ are the carnal choices you have to help the person as you listen to them and then we are emotional beings we have feelings do you have feelings some are more feeling oriented others you know my husband if you know my husband he's a wonderful man but he's a flatline you know what a flatline is [Music] he doesn't go up like this he doesn't go like that but but he is a high flatline so he's not like he's high you know but he's not too emotional me on the other hand I'm a little more expressive but not so emotional but when we are filled with the spirit so after the fall we have before the fall positive and constructive emotions after the fall negative destructive depression but in Christ and we're spirit filled what do we have let's read it these are the emotions love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness and self-control all of these come from being controlled by the Holy Spirit you see the Christian life is not difficult would you agree what is it it's impossible yes amen amen that's why it's only by Christ it's called the exchange life one of the things you need to stress when you are counseling is that the person needs to be empowered and controlled by the Spirit Christ has to live his life in and through them so my children Paul says with whom I am again in labor until Christ is formed in you that's what biblical counseling is is to help Christ that person surrender to Christ to come under his guidance and power so that he can be formed in them you know the greatest compliment that anybody can ever give to you you know what it is what do you think anybody what is the greatest compliment that someone could give to you I see Christ in you one day I was in the States and I was feeling a bit down and someone said to me Diana I see Christ unto you in you and I just said Jesus thank you and I cried because it's not anything to my credit it's all to his credit so that's what we're trying to bring people when we are counseling them for them to think biblically biblically feel biblically and have not just an earthly perspective but an eternal divine perspective which is what God has said set your mind on the things above and not on things of the earth if you continue for you have died and your life has been hidden with Christ in God when Christ who is our life appeared we will be revealed with him in glory that's the rest of that verse and so this is where we're bringing them now what has impacted you from this talk we're gonna have a process question time what has impacted you and what will you apply in your own life okay two questions you

Channel: Gabriel Rebuta

Views: 8,756

Rating: 4.9130435 out of 5

Keywords: CCF, GLC 3, LEADERSHIP SKILLS, SESSION 3, biblical counseling, part 1

Id: Fr4x1clTIkU

Length: 67min 41sec (4061 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 15 2019