All: I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good S: And we really are J: Yes. Todaiy- R: Todaiiy
L: Todaiiiy? S: To die or not to die? S: We will see
J: Yes S: Because today we are playing (all:) Cards Against Muggles J: Which apparently will make us into horrible people R: Yep
L: Yes R: I think we already are-
L: Yep S: Yes
L: Well, some of us J: It's a horrible party game so let's play S: So who shall start being the minister of- J: The cards
S: Cards Against Muggles R: Should you start?
L: Yeah, start S: Me? Yeah, okay, so I will draw a card. I will read what it says and you have to fill in the blank S: Moaning Myrtle moans because of (blank). (Remus and James laughing) S: Okay so, let's shuffle them, and I will read them one by one L: Oh Jesus! J: Why does she moan? S: So now I read the cards. So I start by reading the sentence, filling in the blank and then after that I will vote for the one I think did the best and that person gets the black card. Okay. Moaning Myrtle moans because of pulling Godric Gryffindor's sword out of my pants. R: Wow
S: Yes, well P: Wow S: Moaning Myrtle moans because of Remus Lupin's wolfy passions R: What? S: Anything you wanna tell us? S: Moaning Myrtle moans because of a broomstick and some lube J: Ugh
S: No L: Do ghosts need lube? (valid question tbh)
R: Maybe we should put like a disclaimer warning? L: Yeah, explicit
J: Too late for that now R: Too late for that but uh-
J: It's too late S: As you can see this is not safe for work R: No, it's not for children
S: Specifically this one: Moaning Myrtle moans because of.... Severus Snape's abnormally large nose R: Where did that go?
L: What? Oh god that's- P: That's disturbing
S: Okay L: That's mean S: I have to say, the one that almost made me throw up was Severus Snape's abnormally large nose R: Yes!
L: Oh god. well, you know what I- S: You have a terrible, terrible mind
R: Er yeah S: What's your imagination made out of? S:: Okay so that's- Next person is...
J: Should I go? S: Prongs
L: Yeah you can go that way L: You know. Like default. J: My boggart is a.... (blank). L: Oh yeah. Totally. J: So what's my greatest fear I suppose J: I'm a little bit scared. S: Do you want to know this about all of us?
J:No L: What we think scares you the most
J: Yeah J: My boggart is, uh Snape and McGonagall making passionate love. R: I've never imagined that before J: Now I have
S: Now I have - Hav- Ugh! Having an orgy with the entire Slytherin Quidditch team L: Oh wow. Wow! S: Okay which is worse here though? L: In one you are partaking, which might be good and might be bad J: My boggart is a sneaky hand job R: A sneaky one J: A sneaky hand job S: Um... J: Networking at the Slug Club R: That's pretty terrifying as well
J: That's what they do, yeah R: That's what they do?
J: (to Lily) You should know that J: That's what you do! That's what you do there. L: Well...yeah J: Yeah, he's networking with you guys R: Bleurgh! S: There's just one that-
L: Well you would just be bored, you wouldn't be horrified S: Hmm
J: Yeah, very true S: That's pretty much the same thing for Prongs
L: I'm sorry I decided I'd beat down other people's cards J: Ah, well. Ah. Hmm... J: Which one is worse? - Well I'm not in the Snape and McGonagall one, and in this one I'm obviously cheating so the orgy one wins S: Yay that's mine L: Aw dangit
R: Aww so cheating is your worst fear S: With the entire Slytherin Quidditch team
L: Well that's- You know R: It's cute
S: Somebody can appreciate S: That was mine. Okay, good. R: Okay
S: So Moony is the Card Czar R:Ha! Okay perfect. 'Remus Lupin is very good at.....' J: A sneaky hand job R: Oh no! I'm kind of terrified now L: Oh wow
R: Okay give me something good What am I good at? L: Oh yeah. Hmm. R: (To Sirius) You can answer this J: Oh this would have been perfect for Sirius L: Oh
R: Let's see. Let's see. L: Yeah okay we're gonna go with this one R: I have so many good ones. It's just, I can't- L: I hope you appreciate this one
S: It's so difficult to pick the one- L: I think you might. Oh!
P: Okay I have a horrible one and a disgusting one J: Oh which one-
R: Choose the horrible one J: Okay. I would say the disgusting one L: (to Remus) Look what I've got here
P: The disgusting one? Okay. R: Okay S: The disgusting one.... R: Okay, so.... S: There is no such thing when you talk about Remus R: I'm never disgusting.
P: You sure? R: (traumatized) How can I read this? Oh, hell! This is- P: Ugh
J: What are you very good at, Moony? S: Remus Lupin is very good at- J: You have to read them out loud
L: Yeah. Yes, of course R: I'm just gonna process it a bit so I don't die S: We want your proper reaction R: Okay
L: Yeah R: Remus Lupin is very good at putting smegma into pumpkin juice J: I bet that's Pete's
S: Ew R: Yeah, that's gross. Thanks for that R: Oh god Remus Lupin is very good at fucking in front of portraits R: I mean, there are port-
L: Is there a way to be specifically bad at that? R: I'm not sure but maybe I'm great at it
P: Maybe, if they're not enjoying it J: If you're not into that thing as well, I guess R: I mean, there's portraits everywhere S: Yeah. Try to find a place where you're not fucking in front of a portrait at Hogwarts J: In the broom closet?
S: Oh! S: So that's the sneaky handjob!
R: (to Lily) Really? R: Okay. Remus Lupin is very good at getting ridiculously drunk. R: I mean, sure
S: Yeah? R: Also, Remus Lupin is very good at calling Severus Snape a fuckboy. S: You are very good at that
P: Very true R: Yeah, I'm gonna- The gross one, like, no. R: Please, no. I'm not gonna-
P: Ew. But I want it- R: Yeah well you can have the smegma back- R: I'm gonna say, calling Severus Snape a fuckboy L: I knew you'd appreciate that
R: because it's too true J: Yeah
S: It is true R: That's the discard pile
S: What do you mean, fucking in front of portraits isn't true? *James spits out his drink* R: I just think I'm better at calling Snape a fuckboy
P: You might R: than I am at fucking in front of portraits
S: I'd say it's 50/50 ;) L: Jesus Christ
R: You'd say that? S: You're equal at both
R: Okay L: Okay, we're moving on now!
R: We're moving on L: Mr. Filch would like me to remind you that (blank) is strictly off-limits. J: Fucking in front of portraits L: Mr. Filch would like me to remind you that James Potter's delicious asshole is strictly off-limits. S: Yes please
J: Fuck you, mate R: Yes, Lily!
P: Nooo! R: You should know that. Mr Filch says that. L: I really hope Filch hasn't thought about that ever! R: Well I'm sure he has S:Things that I didn't want to imagine
R: Didn't he find you in the broom closet once? L: Shut up! S: I love this game J: It is off-limits now though, so- I mean... P: Yeah, we know
S: Poor Lily! R: Because Filch says so L: Mr Filch would like me to remind you that Slytherin dungeon porn is strictly off-limits. S: Ugh. Yes please
R: Oh really - Yeah, yeah
- Yes thank you
- We don't want that anyways S: Why did he have to remind us of that? L: Why did he ask ME to remind you of that?
P: Yeah L: Mr Filch would like to remind you that Lucius Malfoy's- Malfoy's luscious locks is strictly off-limits. S: Yeah, please
R: Okay L: Well, I mean, somebody should probably inform him of that R: We don't want them anyway
L: Okay L: Mr Filch would like me to remind you that chocolate is strictly off-limits. R: (horrified) WHAT!? L: Okay I think I know whose this one is
R: Oh that's not fair! R: That is not fair at all S: Come on. You all know which one it's gonna be
L: Yeah, okay, I've got to go with James J: No! Lily, no!
S: We all know it's gonna- R: YES!
S: Was that you? R: Yeah that was me L: REMUS! S: You dirty werewolf.... R: I mean, it's off-limits. We know that because Filch says so. S: Yes S: But we knew that before L: I'm sorry but it was the best one. J: It was the best one
R: Thank you R: Thank you
L: Yeah P: 'Many Hogwarts students went to the hospital wing with complaints of...' 'Hufflepuff getting Hufflefucked out of the house cup.' S: What? Woah
R: Okay.... L: Poor Hufflepuff
P: I don't know S: I imagine the Hufflepuffs would go the-
P: Yeah R: Hufflefucked out of the house cup....
J: Huffle- J: Hufflepu- Hufflefucked- R&P: Hufflepuff getting Hufflefucked out of the house cup R: Okay
S: What does that even mean? P: Oh
L: I think it just means they got fucked out of it J: Yeah
L: And that it's specifically Hufflepuff J: Like, they can't win S: Oh, I was imagining something else L: I don't think it was actual fucking
J: No, no R: You shouldn't imagine things S: We don't know what goes on down there
L: Well, no, of course we don't P: No
L: No that's true P: Many Hogwarts students went to the hospital wing with complaints of weird sorcerers' kinks. R: I mean, generally, yes
L: Yeah L: That tends to be the kind you find at Hogwarts
P: I guess S: Realistic
L: Yeah P: Noooo! P: No?
P: Many Hogwarts students went to the hospital wing with complaints of Peter Pettigrew watching little boys change. P: Noo!
S: Peter Pettigrew what? P: I'm a little boy!
L: Why is that a thing? R: (to Sirius) Watching little boys change J: Pete! R: But we're big-
L: Why is that a thing?
P: I'm a little boy R: But we are big boys R: So you're watching other people than us change?
L: Well it doesn't-
P: No! S: Hang on, we live with you
P: You want me to- S: You live in the same room as us L: So in other words, "many Hogwarts students" were the three of you. P: Yes R: He's probably sneaking into the first years-
S: Who are you calling a little boy? P: Why would you go to the hospital wing for that?
L: Don't be mean to him R: I'm not sure. Maybe they're traumatised or something? P: Yeah, maybe
J: Yeah J: Confidentiality P: Many Hogwarts students went the hospital wing with complaints of slimy Slytherins. S: Yes. Yes. J: Yeah
R: We've all been there S: So that's the three of us again S: Or the four of us P: I'm not going to pick that one L: No, that makes sense
R: What? S: Come on!
P: It offends me L: That was mean, yeah, that was mean to you P: Yeah! R: But this isn't a nice game L: Yeah but you don't have to be mean to the person who's gonna pick your card P: Yeah! R: So you were mean to me but- S: Yes, slimy Slytherins S: Whose is that?
R: Slimy- Yeah it's true L: That was me R: The little boys was mine
L: Ooh, Evans! P: Yeah S: Filch has finally banned.... having sex with a werewolf.....
(rip Sirius) S: from the halls of Hogwarts.
R: I mean- R: What does he know? S: Yeah, like- Someone- R: I'm sure it's only Dumbledore who actually knows- S: Snape knows R: Snape -_- S: He's filed a complaint with Filch R: Of course. Of course he has. S: "There are too many students having sex with werewolves." ('too many' meaning you, Sirius?) I kind of feel a little bit like this is aimed very directly at somebody in this room L: Yeah
R: I'm not sure who- L: Somebody in this room is feeling personally- L: You know.
S: A little bit Filch has finally banned Remus Lupin's heterosexuality from the halls at Hogwarts. J: No need to ban that
L: Oh I didn't- L: I didn't know that Filch could make good decisions R: Yeah, well, that's where all the werewolf fucking comes from. L: He started with the first one and then he realised, "Oh shit..." J: "Oh shit"
S: Yeah Filch has finally banned Snape's hair grease from the halls at Hogwarts. S: I wish
P: That would be a dream, yes S: Filch has finally banned Dumbledore's magical wardrobe from the halls at Hogwarts. L: Aww
R: But it's fabulous P: Yeah
S: It's amazing S: Not this one, I'm sorry but
L: That would be so sad S: Dumbles needs to have his wardrobe R: Or else he would be naked (Remus!) S: Okay, so- Clearly having sex with a werewolf is not gonna be picked because, come on. ;) Okay, I really don't like the hair grease L: I'm sorry
S: So, um P: Yeah
S: Let's ban Snape's hair grease, I think- J: Yeah
R: (To Sirius) But what if I go straight?
L: See! L: I know you, I know- S: *the 'bitch please you'd never be straight' look*
R: Okay. Never mind, then. L: See I know your humour. R: I thought I knew his sexuality but, I mean- S: Yeah that's- The thing is- L: That's what I'm saying. That's that's not actually at risk. S: Moony, the thing is, I'm not worried. R: Ugh. J: Why did I pick this place?
S: Ohhhh L: Yeah, how did this happen?
R: Why are you sitting there? J: I don't know!
S: We're picking one knee each P: I'm in my paradise R: Yeah, you're off in the corner J: 'Our first intervention....' R: No. 'First invention.'
J: No. Invention. J: Invention
R: Our first intervention worked fine. S: Yeah. Yeah. J: Our first INvention, using a time turner to go back in time to fuck yourself, didn't go quite as well S: Oops. What?
J: I think that's why they're so heavily regulated. R: Yes S: It's your fault
J: Because of us R: Don't fuck yourself, basically J: 'Our first invention, polyjuice potion induced furry sex, didn't go quite as well.' S: What?
J: We don't need polyjuice potion- P: No!
R: Maybe we did- S: We don't need polyjuice-
R: But maybe we did for first year L: In those early days R: In those early days we needed polyjuice potion, apparently J: Our first invention, selling muggle drugs to students as candy, didn't go quite as well. L: No! No! S: I imagine it wouldn't
J: No S: But we wouldn't know until we try it
J: Our first invention, sexually explicit howlers, didn't go quite as well. J: I'm gonna pick this one-
S: Yeah! J: Because imagine-
L: Thank you! R: Eleven-year-olds
J: Screaming howler: J: "I WANT TO TOUCH YOUR BOOBS!" S: Oh my god S: Next, best prank.... S: Write to Snivellus!
P: Yes R: Lucius Malfoy loves nothing more than You Know Who. J: Hmm. I mean- R: Yes, I mean, they're not wrong
P: Yeah, probably J: Yeah, I mean, we don't know what he loves- R: Lucius Malfoy loves nothing more than saying things in a mild tone as if you're not a fucking bitch. S: As if you're NOT a fucking bitch
L: Woah R: Oh wow
P: Wow R: Lucius Malfoy loves nothing more than St Mungo's cure for penis warts. J: Ooh
S: Ohh L: Ooh that's-
R: I'm sure he needs it P: Yeah, probably
J: Narcissa loves that R: Lucius Malfoy loves nothing more than your father's love and affection. Well then it's You Know Who because- L: Oh, so I won
R: He loves nothing more than You Know Who L: Yeah, thank you R: But it's terrible, I mean-
L: Yeah I know, that's what I thought when I- J: How can you not go with "saying things in a mild tone as if you're not a fucking bitch" ? J: I mean, that's so him. J: Remember how he used to talk?
L: Yeah, that's- I do agree, I would have picked that R: Should I take back the card? L: Well, no. I've already mixed it with my other cards. I don't know which one was- R: Oh, okay. You can't read, so- L: We don't have time for this. Let's go with the next card. Okay. R: Let's go. Okay. L: 'Snape uses Salazar Slytherin's ass to style his hair.' R: I mean, that would explain it, but- L: That's very old P: Eww!
S: Ew, yeah L: Uh, Snape uses Barty Crouch Jr's tongue thing J: Yeah, he does have a weird tongue thing going on sometimes
L: To style- Oh god. Oh god. Now I'm imagining it. Oh no! J: So he licks his hair, or what? R: Yeah I think so
L: No! R: I mean- That's what means, right? S: Yeah
L: Oh Jesus R: *gross tongue noises* L: Snape uses being sorted into Slytherin to style his hair. R: I mean, they all have terrible-
L: It's a thing that just happens, I guess P: It's a part of the uniform L: Snape uses herbology to style his hair. L: Well....
R: Oh P: Okay
L: I mean- Barty Crouch's tongue was the most horrifying
P: Yeah L: So that's going to win, I'm afraid.
*more gross tongue noises from Remus* L: And that was? R: Me
L: Oh! R: Can't you imagine...... L: Am I feeling that you and I are doing the best here? S: You're just voting for each other
J: Yeah R: Well, maybe. How many cards do you have? L: Er...
S: It's almost like they have the same humour L: Five
R: You have five cards!? L: Yeah
R: I only have three L: Everybody likes my humour, okay L: I know what I'm doing
J: I just have bad cards S: Don't be a sore loser towards your girlfriend It's not a good look
P: Okay! Trelawney found.... kilos upon kilos of sweets in my teacup. R: I mean, we're not surprised P: That's a big teacup though L: You know-
R: Maybe it's the future R: A future prediction
L: Yeah, she does prophesy the future
P: Yeah, true P: Uhhh. Prof- Uh... Trelawny found covering an embarrassing erection with the sorting hat in my teacup. J: Oh so that's in your future
P: It's in my future now J: Or someone's future L: How did you get involved with the sorting hat?
P: Yes
R: His future S: His future
R: Totally P: Trelawney found all your best friends dying in my teacup. L: Awww
S: That's terrible P: That's horrible R: That means us, right?
J: That's why I don't let her read my teacups
P: Yeah S: Yeah, and don't let her read your palms either. J: Oh
P: No, everyone dies in her visions. L: Yeah, sooner or later, I mean, of course-
S: She told me I'd end up in jail (o_o) L: Well I mean- Of anyone here- (0_0)
S: What? What do you mean? S: No, I don't know. What do you mean? L: No. Let's move on, there's one more card.
R: Yeah, just let him read P: Trelawney found Lily Potter in my teacup. L: Wait, what? What? S: Uh, what?
R: She found marriage in your teacup? They're married in your teacup. P; Maybe? At least Lily. R: At least Lily-
L: Well, my n-
P: Lily is in my future. R: Lily marr-
S: But you just said Lily Potter L: With the wrong last name
R: Yeah, Lily Potter S: Maybe you just like to-
P: Lily Potter! R: So Lily married to a Potter of any- P: Yes
R: There's not a lot of you though- L: So, are there other Potters at this school? No, I'm kidding. L: I'm sorry! R: I Think he's hurt now
L: Sorry, it's just habit S: These are all kind of probable predictions, I'd say P: Probably, yeah S: All your friends dying?
L: Covering an embarrassing erection with the sorting hat??? R: Maybe. I mean, it's Pete L: What is the sorting hat doing there, though? R: Maybe he was in Dumbledore's office
L: Oh yeah, that makes sense P: Yeah
S: Oh, and popped an embarrassing one- P: Oh no
R: And grabs the first thing he can find: the sorting hat. L: What does the sorting hat say?
R: And the sorting hat says "Slytherin" P: The most horrible one is probably my friends dying, so.... R: She does kind of predict that, though, often
P: Yeah J: She does
R: So give me the card P: Yes
S: They keep winning R: Because we're terrible people P: Yes you are J: Lucius Malfoy strokes his wand over..... massive, massive dicks. S: Um
R: Uhhh J: Lucius Malfoy-
L: Did you immediately just throw it away? J: "No". 'Lucius- R: Throw away the dicks S: No dicks here
J: Lucius Malfoy strokes his wand over magical dick piercings. R: So it's almost-
S: They could be- J: I don't want to know these things
S: It's a theme L: Massive, massive dicks with piercings J: Yeah. Liucius Mal- Lucius Malfoy strokes his wand over Lucius Malfoy clad in French lingerie R: So did he travel back in time to fuck himself?
S: Things- R: Over himself-
L: Or the image of himself maybe, or the-
S: Took a picture- R: Yeah, okay
S: He's just like "mmmm" S: Things I do not want to imagine
L: Maybe in the mirror J: Lucius Malfoy strokes his wand over Ollivander's tiny, tiny nipples. P: Oh nooo
L: Wait, what?
S: What? S: What?
L: Is that a thing? R: Apparently J: How would we know? J: Okay I'm going with the lingerie L: Yes you are
S: Yeah P: "Yes you are" J: Very confident
R: Of course you are
L: I'm sorry that sounded bad S: Do you really want to put your last name on that one? J: I mean, it is in Pete's future P: It is winning though
S: It's in his future S: Okay
R: Oh, right J: I thought that would win because it was so cute that you saw Lily Potter in a teacup like it's going to happen S: Of course you thought that-
R: But then all his friends died instead and I got the card S: That's your misfortune-
L: Oh, that you were so horrified by the-
R: Oh! Guys. Guys, guys, guys- On the topic of this: Why do I always win? I'll tell you why: (blank) So, why do I always win? I'll tell you why: Probably sex. J: Probably
R: Who played that?
S: Probably R: Oh, these are all terrible! Okay... Why do I always win? I'll tell you why: Spicy dragon cum. P: Ewww
S: What? L: Does it come that way, or do you add the spice? R: No, it's spicy, from a spicy- Probably like a uhhh- S: Hungarian Horntail or something-
R: No. I think a Chinese..... S: Fireball, yeah
L: You said that with far too much confidence and general knowledge
P: Yeah, why do you know this? R: I mean, I know a bit about dragons, so- L: Yeah, yeah, but the taste of- R: Okay. On the topic. Why do I always win? I'll tell you why: Gryffindork J: Yes
P: Yeah R: Because we're Gryffindorks. That's why we always win.
S: Yes S: You are a dork, and you're in Gryffindor, so- R: Why do you always win? I'll tell you why: The immense pain of werewolf transformation L: Oh Jesus
R: Cut me some slack L: Gosh
S: Come on, too raw L: That's- Wow.
S: Too real R: It does kinda hurt actually. L: Yeah R: Kind of, immense pain of werewolf transformation - That's why I win, because I deserve it S: You have a lot of karma
R: But also, uh- P: Yeah
R: But also probably sex and I'm a Gryffindork, and I know about spicy dragons, but- P: Maybe
L: You did know a lot about them, you know- R: I mean, that hit home quite well I mean, it's not the funniest because it's not fucking funny L: No
R: But yeah.... *wolfstar activate* R: Whose card was this? P: Mine S: Peter! P: I've been sitting on it but I didn't want to use it R: You've been sitting on this? P: Yes P: No! L: What's more fun than... seven minutes in heaven with Voldemort J: Ugh! Lots of things. P: Ugh, yeah
R: Lots of things L: Seven minutes in heaven with most people J: That includes me! L: You are part of "most people" P: One of the crowd L: What's more fun than a young Albus Dumbledore? J: Hmm
S: Hmmm L: That- Hmm
R: I mean- S: I mean, he's kind of foxy now so imagine when he's younger L: "Foxy" is not the word I'd have used, but.... R: Are you sure?
J: Really? S: Really? L: No.... L: But-
R: Maybe it's not your thing L: "Fun" I guess, yeah I know he would be nice... Yeah, okay. What's more fun than enchanted dildos S: Nothing. Nothing. That's just- That's won. It's won.
P: No L: What's more fun that Peter Pettigrew P: Nothing!
L: Wait, was that insulting or- S: I was going to say "most people" P: Ah. Horrible.
R: I'm not sure if that's insulting or- L: Yeah
P Yeah, so that's- P: That's why they're going to die in the future
L: I'm going to pick peter Pettigrew R: You did?
L: Yes R: I- I chose this because I didn't think it would win. S: Come on!
L: It was- L: It felt sweet. R: I mean, I did it to be mean, but- R: One, two three, four five, six
L: So, I'm officially a better person than Remus R: Yeah P: There's a spell for an undetectable extension charm. I wonder what's... R: Who has the smallest dick, basically. P: There's a spell for moaning like Myrtle L: Whoa!
R: And this is the spell S: It's the same spell J: You don't need a spell for that
P: Nooo P: There's a spell for Wormtail. J: I guess....
R: A spell just for you
S: Actually, actually- P: Yeah, I guess
S: Actually.... L: Is it the first two? P: No L: I'm sorry P: There's a spell for shaving one's legs L: Yes there is R: Oh okay then
P: Okay
L: It's true P:Um.... Moaning like Myrtle, I guess? R: Come on
L: What? No! J: I think maybe we should end this now S: Yeah
P: Yeah I don't think we- L: No! No! No! We should go more R: Should we- Should we, like- L: No, we should go more!
R: Let's count- S: (to James) Have you gotten a single one?
R: No, let's count our cards. J: No, my cards are terrible
R: Come on Lily, let's count our cards R:I wanna see- S: What's happening?
R: One, two, three, four-
P: I have one P: because I was a horrible person
R: Five, six, SEVEN. L: Yeah, I know. That's why we should keep going! S: How many do you have, Lily? L: Six!
J: Oh R: I have seven
R: I think we have a winner then L: Jesus
J: I had funny cards For example: giving Severus Snape shampoo for Christmas R: Oh
J: And I did have- R: Ten points to Dumbledore J: Being a love potion babe L: You wind up, like-
R: This is terrible S: I like this one: Asking the qu-
L: You wind up collecting the bad ones. S: Now, this is this is directed towards four people in this room Asking the question: Is it really bestiality? J: Yes P: Everything is bestiality L: At what point does it become bestiality?
R: Yeah
J: We're not having this discussion, okay? S: That's also a very good-
R: You don't want to know, I think R: Let's just keep it that way. Anyway, I won. P: You can have that card S: Oh NOOO!
L: Oh Jesus S: Why would you show that to us!? P: I don't want to be alone
R: Yeah, why would you show this to anyone? L: You wanted to share the pain? Is that it?
P: Yes L: Jesus, Pete
R: You wanna- You wanna know what this card says? S: No! Don't tell them
L: They don't R: It says McGonagall's wrinkled vagina S: And that's end of the video P: Yeahhh [captions by that-nerdy-hufflepuff]
