(fireworks blasting) (ominous music) (ominous music) (ominous music) - You know those big stickers they have in the back of trucks? It says, maximum 55? Do you ever notice every time
you read one of those stickers it's blowing by at
about 75 miles an hour? (audience laughs) Have we got any truckers
in the crowd here? (audience applauds) Actually, I used to
drive a truck myself. It was one of those
Swiss Army trucks, but it jack knifed and
then it cock screwed, so. (audience laughs) So you, sir, you said
you're a trucker, right? - Oh he's a trucker, all right. - You are one hell of a big guy. I used to have a
friend your size. He was at the airport,
they arrested him. They looked down his pants
and found 40 pounds of crack. (audience laughs) Table Phillies over here. Yeah, you know, actually
I remember my first truck. Sorry, actually, that was
a typographical error, I was thinking of
something else. (audience laughs) You, sir. You know, I noticed you have
quite a big belt buckle there. Is that something you made
outta some guy's Honda Civic? You pulled that outta
your grill or what? (audience laughs) No, I'm just kidding. Anyhow, you know those
stickers they have on the wide left hand turns? Well, this guy's
got one that says, "Back off or I'll turn you
into my next belt buckle." (audience applauds)
(audience laughing) Anyhow, you guys have been
a really good audience, so I'm gonna end the
set with a little ditty, and just let me grab my
guitar and we'll get at it. (audience applauds) Oh nice, a round of applause. Thank you. - Oh god, sorry. - It's okay, it's okay. I did come in for a drink but- - [David] Here we go. - I kinda like mine
served in a glass. - I wasn't paying
attention, sorry. - Anyone got a topic out there? (crowd yelling) - Not your style of comedy? - Not my idea of fun. - Truckers, my
friends and yours. Okay, here we go. - They seem to like him. - They're not on
vacation with him. - Maybe you should get
yourself a new travel agent. - Yeah. ♪ I'm gonna sing a little
song about men on the road ♪ ♪ A hard driving man
packing a tiny load ♪ ♪ Well he sits at the
bar thinking he's cool ♪ ♪ While he's talking to my
lady and thinks I'm a fool ♪ ♪ Listen up honey, this
here aint no joke ♪ ♪ He's got 18 wheels
and real short spoke ♪ (audience applauds)
(audience laughing) - I don't know where the
hell that line came from. Okay, I got another verse here. I have several in
my bag of tricks. ♪ He drives 24/7
grabbing his gears ♪ ♪ He aint seen his little
woman for a couple of years ♪ ♪ He don't feel ashamed ♪ He don't feel no guilt ♪ Because he jacks his
pony in his Peterbilt ♪ ♪ Well listen up honey,
this here aint no joke ♪ ♪ He got 18 wheels and
a real short spoke ♪ ♪ I said, listen up honey ♪ This here aint no joke ♪ He's got 18 wheels
and a real short spoke ♪ (audience applauds) (Jack chuckles) Thank you very much you guys. (audience applauds) (bright upbeat music) - You're on vacation, huh? Well, I really hope
it gets better. - Thanks (upbeat music) - You rock. - Oh. - Hi, I'm Charlie. - David. - You were great up there. - Thanks. - You know, we're having a bit of a bridal
shower over there. - Yeah, about eight months
too late, don't you think? (David chuckles) - Why don't you come over
and have a beer with us, and help us toast the bride? - You know what? I'm kind of allergic. - You're allergic to beer? - No, marriage. But thank you. - Hey kid. - Yeah. - That was okay. - Oh, thank you very much. - How about next weekend? - I'll tell you what,
you make it three nights you got yourself a deal. Okay. Well, where's Tex? - That mouth of yours is gonna
get you in trouble someday. - This mouth of mine, just got another booking. - What? - Yeah, next weekend. Three nights here, full gig. - Here? - Yeah. - Do you actually think we're
gonna spend a week here? - What? Sylvia, what? - Another gig? Here, here? - What? Look, I know it's not exactly
the big room at Caesars, but I'm trying to do the- - To do the best
you can, I know. You keep trying and
I keep paying for it. - Sylvia, you gotta understand
that this is really- - You are good. I've seen you work magic
in dump after dump, but you being on the
road is killing us. - But it's work. - No, it's safe for you. What about our deal? - I know, it's just- - Remember? You finish your road
trip, you move in with me and David and Sylvia
live happily ever after. - Oh yeah, on Sylvia's money. - On our money. Let me do this for us. - I know, Sylvia, it's
just that I wanna be able- - I don't care that you're
not headlining in Vegas, all I want is a
commitment from you. A commitment that says,
"Sylvia, I love you. Sylvia, I wanna have
2.5 kids with you, Sylvia, I wanna spend the
rest of my life with you." But you can't say it, can you? (pensive music) - Look, I'm trying. - Oh no. No more trying. (pensive music) - Come on. Okay, can we least talk? - No. - Great. Stupid! Damn! Ah, that's great. Well, goodnight David. Try not to be a dick tomorrow. Yeah, thanks for the advice. I am a dick. (foreboding music) (foreboding music) (suspenseful music) (suspenseful music) (foreboding music) - Goodnight. (truck honking) - Good morning, buddy! (truck engine roars) - Hey, you ever hear
of a loaf fat muffin? (calm music) The best we could
do, I'm afraid. Oh listen, honey, help
yourself to coffee. The pot's behind the counter. You need a couple of cups to
get going in this country. (calm music) - Oh!
- Oh God, I'm sorry. - No, I had my fill, thanks. (Sylvia chuckles) - Where are you off to, the
world's largest barbecue? - Sort of, I'm just taking
this stuff to a boys camp. - What are you,
the camp counselor? (Jack chuckles) - Oh no, Jack here is a regular
18 wheel guardian angel. - What does that mean? - Well, once a year he
comes through that door collecting goods for them
orphaned kids up at that camp. You know, blue skies, sandy
beaches, fresh water, all that. - [Sylvia] Really? - Yeah, camp's quite
a way from here. See you, Abby. You look like you're getting
ready to hit the road. - Maybe. Do you know when that bus
comes back through here? - I think that that bus
comes here Thursdays, but other than that, I'm
afraid you're outta luck. - Great, six days in Blacktop. - And it'll be the longest
six days of your life. Nice talking to you. (doorbell rings) Try the commitment. (David scoffs) - Tex just doesn't
know when to quit, huh? Don't be a dick. Don't be a dick. (dramatic music) Listen Sylvia, I... (David sighs) Okay listen, I had a lot of time to think about
things last night, and I realized that
you were right, okay? I mean, in your own way. And if I were you I'd feel
the same way about you, and us, and me, and... Ugh! Okay look, commitment
is very important to me and you are important, and we are important and
marriage is important, but my job is important too. And it's a part of my life. And I mean, the travel is
hard and being away from home, and I just... The thing is, I don't think
that you're gonna be able to make the life that
you really wanna make. - It's not me, it's
not your job, it's you. - What do you mean? (pensive music) What are you doing? - I'm leaving. - You can't. But Sylvia, come on. I need you. - Oh, that's funny. You should put that in your act. (somber music) - Sylvia! What are you looking at? (truck engine roars) (dramatic music) Sylvia! Yeah, fine! Have a nice walk,
enjoy the scenery. - Hey, you got
room for one more? - Sylvia! - Sure, climb on in. (dramatic music) - Sylvia, what are you doing? - Drive. - You got it. - Hey! (dramatic music) Sylvia! Sylvia, what are you doing? Hey! (dramatic music) Keys, keys, keys. Where are my keys? Yeah, hi. Hi, look, I'm stuck
outside the Blacktop Diner and I've lost my car keys. Yeah okay, so I'm not the first. Yeah, can you... (dramatic music) Yeah, can you just, uh... Can you just get
someone over here? Yeah, it's a red Edsel. Look yeah, just, can you... Yeah, just get here
as quick as you can. (dramatic music) - [Ramer] You got a photo? - Yeah it's... My wallet
is in her jacket. - Buddy here seems
to have a hard time holding on to
photos there, Ramer. - Tell me about the truck. - I don't know, it was one
those, you know, big trucks. - Like an 18 wheeler? Did you get a
license plate number. - What? - You know, like a license
plate with the numbers. - No, but... Well, the thing was black. - Black license plate. - No, the truck! The truck was black. (mechanic chuckles) - That shouldn't be
too hard to find. (bright upbeat music) - My mother always told me
never to ride with strangers. Jack. - Sylvia. (upbeat music) - Well all right
Sylvia, meet Goliath. Goliath meet Sylvia. (Jack chuckles) - It's a pleasure to meet you. - There, that's settled. We've all been introduced now, so we're no longer strangers. - I guess you and Goliath
must be pretty close. - Oh, going on 15 years. Goliath, he hasn't
let me down yet. - You're a lucky man. - It's a funny thing
about big rigs, they make all kinds of noises. Sometimes it says,
I need a little oil, you give her what she
wants, things move on along. But then unfortunately
there comes a time when she says, "I'm
tired, it's over." And you've just gotta
trade her in, say goodbye. So do you need a mechanic
to set you straight? Or do you just need
to start again? Hmm, that's what it's all about. - I wish it were that easy. - Commitment is never easy. Couples just gotta
learn it or be taught, otherwise folks get hurt. (upbeat music) - You're telling me that some dude she's
getting friendly with who drives a black truck
might have taken her away. I got that right so far, huh? - He kidnapped her. - Kidnapped her. All right, so I guess
what you'd like me to do is to track down the black truck and force this gentleman
to return your girl. - Yeah. - All right, well you see
what the problem here is is that I'm running a police
force, not a dating service. And if I was to solve
every lover's quarrel that came out this place, I'd
be busier than Judge Wapner. - What about the
other missing girl? - Well, the other missing
girl ain't missing no more. They found her, part of her
down in Westerville Way. They got a warrant
out on the boyfriend, he's Rastafarian,
you know the type. Anyway he's conveniently
disappeared. - Hold up, what do you
mean a part of her? How did she die? - Well, you see that's
the funny thing about it. They say the girl was
hacked up with a chainsaw, first she froze to death. (foreboding music) - [Jack] Well, here we are. - This is your boy's camp? - No, not quite. I'm gonna be turning on to
65 up ahead, a scenic route. - A scenic route? - Yeah, miles off
the beaten path and I think you can get
around a lot faster inside. Fill her up. - Okay. Well, thanks for the ride. And I guess you're right, I should be getting back to
the city as fast as possible. Okay. - Um... - Yeah? - Oh, this may sound
a little silly, but I keep a visual diary
of my travels, and... Do you mind if I take a
picture of you and Goliath? - Sure. - Great. (foreboding music) (camera clicks) (upbeat music) ♪ I'm a lonesome stranger - What will you have? - Have you got a
phone I could use? Another phone? - No. (blues music) ♪ I'm a lonely stranger (blues music) - Hey, I think need a tuneup. I said, I think I need a tuneup. - Pardon me? - I'm thinking I
need a lube job, lucky for me I found a
body mechanic right here. - Very good. They're really gonna like
that one back at the gym. Very funny. - I'm not joking. You advertise a service,
you better deliver. - Okay, I was just leaving. - I don't think so. (blues music) (man groans) - So you like it rough, huh? We like it rough. - Good morning. Ice water, please. All done? Why don't we let the
little lady get cleaned up? (suspenseful music) (Jack chuckles) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) Who is this guy
telling us what to do? I don't know, let's find out. Who is this guy? Just who the hell is this guy? (man screams) (dramatic music) Can you hear me now? (dramatic music) This place has
really gone downhill. - Yeah, I guess the scenic
route's my best bet. (dramatic music) - [Trucker] Hey, move it! (truck honking) Idiot! - Okay! (dramatic music) - A scenic route? - I should be telling
this with a sigh, somewhere ages and ages hints. Two roads diverged into a wood, and I, I took the
one less traveled by, and that made all
the difference. - Robert Frost. - Very good. - Thanks, back there at the bar. It was like an old western, with the good guys
and the bad guys. And for a minute, I thought- - It's over. I'll give Goliath's
tires a kick. Then we'll be on our way, okay? - Okay. - Okay. Saddle up. (Sylvia chuckles) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (truck hissing) It's about time. - For what? - A breath of fresh air,
smell the pine trees. - Well, all I smell is that bar. - There's a bottle of
water right behind you. I'll be in the back. (foreboding music) Okay, okay, 55 miles an
hour with an 18 gallon tank, 13 miles to the
gallon, 75, so 40%. That means I've got about
seven, maybe eight miles. So 65, that means
that I am screwed. Oh god. - I can see why you like
it out here so much, Jack. It's just so peaceful. (birds chirping) - It certainly is. (foreboding music) (foreboding music) These woods can kiss
you or kill you. It depends on who
you come across. - Behind one tree
there's a bunny, behind the other
there's a rattler. - There's a awful lot of
predators in these hills, (foreboding music) - This isolation out
here, it invigorates me. - Well, I think it's a good
idea if we stay on the road. - And you're safe, here in our little
rotten garden of Eden. - Thank you. (foreboding music) (tires screech) - Congratulations,
you're learning. Nothing ventured nothing gained. Bravo, bravo. (foreboding music) (upbeat music) - [Sylvia] North Dakota. - Bismarck. - Rhode Island. - Providence. - Okay, California. - Ooh, that would be Sacramento. (both laugh) - Alaska. - Juneau. That one's a bit of
a given to me though, that's where I was born. - Wow, you're a
long way from home. (Jack sighs) - Home. Juneau, never a
place I'd call home. - Jack, watch out! (tires screeching) - Are you okay? - Yeah. I thought this
road was deserted. - So did I. (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (Charlie screams) - Jeez! You scared the crap outta me. - Yeah, ditto. What's with the sign? - They guy in the
Peterbilt left it for you. - Oh, a truck? - Yeah, a big rig
with a sleeper. - Was it a black one? - Yeah, a big guy with his wife. - That wasn't his wife,
that was my girlfriend. How long ago? - I don't know,
20 minutes maybe? - Shit. - Hey. He said you'd gimme a ride. - What? - Well, actually he said
you'd know what to do. - Are you outta gas? - No, I got plenty of gas. I just broke down. Don't you remember me
from the show last night? - Oh yeah, yeah, pregnant girl. - Not yet. So what's this guy doing
with your girlfriend anyway? - What, are you a cop? - No. - Okay, good. Then why don't you get in? Maybe you'll listen,
no one else has. - I gotta get my bag. (calm music) (car revs) Cool car. So this guy freezes
some lady to death, swipes your girlfriend, and the cops still
don't believe you? It sounds like he needs
the boots put to him. - The boots? - I got five brothers at home, it's not exactly
finishing school. You know, our ranch is
over in the next valley, we can round up the boys
and teach this guy a lesson. I remember,
(Charlie laughs) this one night
after junior prom- - Whoa, whoa, whoa. - What? - He's right there. - What? Okay, what's your plan? - Buckle up. (calm music) (Jack chuckles) - No, it's not as
tough as it looks. - Well, you make it look easy. (Jack chuckles) - Why don't you
see for yourself? - Yeah, right. - I'm serious. What else are we gonna
run into out here? (Jack laughs) (upbeat music) You can handle this. Come on over, I'll teach you. - Okay. - Get your hands on
the wheel, that's it. Get a feel for this wheel. - Let's smoke this guy. (upbeat music) - It's just a matter
of concentration now. It's not like when
those guys are on TV and they're swinging that
wheel from side to side. - Hm-hmm. - Mm-mm, it doesn't
work that way. Just a little move, (upbeat music) can have quite an effect. (Jack laughs) You know, some people
would fold under pressure but you, you're a natural. - Thanks. - Now, the brakes. 60 pounds of pressure
through an air hose keeps the brakes open. You release that
pressure, brake pads grab. Watch this, just
do a little tap. (tires screeching) - What was that? - Nothing, load shift. You keep your eyes on the
road, you're doing great. (upbeat music) - Oh shit. - This guy isn't kidding around. - Yeah, I know. - Now, what you uh... I'm just gonna turn
it for you, okay? (Sylvia laughs)
- Yeah. (upbeat music) - We gotta start taking
him by the other side. (upbeat music) - Look out! - Hold on! (tires screeching) - What's your plan? - Play his game. - [Charlie] Oh shit. (upbeat music) - What you really want to avoid is the air brakes locking up. ♪ He won't take me back
when I come around ♪ ♪ He says he's sorry
then he pulls me out ♪ ♪ I got a big chain
around my neck ♪ (Dave screams) (Jack laughing) - [Sylvia] I can't hold it! - Yes you can. ♪ He won't take me back You're doing fine,
steer into the slide. (Jack laughs) ♪ I got a big chain
around my neck ♪ ♪ And I'm going
down like a wreck ♪ ♪ Well it's over - Watch out! - Whoa! ♪ But I can't let go ♪ It's over, I know ♪ But I can't let go ♪ It's over, I know ♪ But I can't let go - That was a hell of a lesson. - Just consider
it a crash course. (Jack laughs) When you got wide open
road all to yourself, why not use it? - What the hell was that? - Are you okay? - Yeah. Okay look, get in and I'll push. Let's go! - Are you ready? Yeah, yeah, come on! (car engine revving) Come on! Go! - [Charlie] Ah! (ignition clicking) - I'm sorry. That guy is insane. We could have been killed. You know what? We need to get
help, we've gotta- - No, we need to
get moving again! - That's your plan? - No, my plan is
when I catch him, I'm gonna run the
bastard off the road. Now pop the hood. - You're crazier than he is. You know what? We need help, okay? Let me call my folks. - [David] We can't, the
psycho locked the phone. I can't dial out. - Well, unlock it. - I don't know how, the
thing's older than you are. (dramatic music) - It's hard to get a
signal out here anyway. - Exactly why we gotta get going before he drives off the road. - You got a map? - It's in there somewhere. (dramatic music) - Okay look, this is Blacktop, this is 65, this is the city. In here, lots of nothing. - You know what? Thanks for the travel
log, but I got work to do. - Okay, you know what? You're not getting this. There's no place for a big rig to cut off before
we hit the turnpike. Okay, see these? These are strictly
old logging routes, they don't go anywhere. They're too rough for a rig. But if he gets to the
turnpike first, he's gone. There's 1000 directions
he could take, and you can just kiss
your girlfriend goodbye. - Ouch! - Hey. You know, you're not
gonna be any good if you bleed to death. - Damn. - Let me help, okay? What can I do? (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (pan hissing) - Excuse me miss, kitchen
staff requires your assistance. Grab some cinnamon sticks
from the freezer, could you? - Sure. About time I did a
little work around here. (foreboding music) (foreboding music) - Just inside the door. - Just inside the door. (foreboding music) (suspenseful music) - Sylvia. It's meats hanging
on ceiling tracks. I don't think you'd like
it if it came loose. It'd squash you like a bug. That's why we sit up
front, safer and warmer. (dramatic music) (bumper clanging) (calm music) - The turn of our ranch is about an hour from here. Dad is what you might
call a bit of a loner. So you must travel a lot, huh? All those different
places, all those people. That must be nice. - Oh yeah, live with rats, clothes always smell
like a brewery, you're on the road for 360
days of the year alone. Yeah, be a comedian,
see the world. - Well, I don't get much
further than Blacktop. I think you're the first new
guy I've met miss junior high. Slim pickings for
us small town girls. - No sense rushing
into things, right? (Charlie chuckles) - Yeah, I guess. I know I'm still
waiting to fall in love, waiting to find the right man. - Well, that's good. I think it's good to wait. - You know, last night
I said to the girls, "There's a guy with choices." All those clubs,
all those women, you can afford to
look around a bit. - No, no, no, let's
back up a second. I am not looking. I know how lucky I am. I know how lucky I was. - Amish country bread,
California seedless, Iowa ham, Wisconsin cheddar, and mulled
wine from Martha's vineyard. Spoils of my travels. - A girl could get spoiled
being around you, Jack. - Why start something
you can't finish? Everybody knows, you
never remember the guy who tried to do his best. (both laugh) What? - Nothing, it's just, David was always, trying
to do the best that I can. (Jack laughs) This is really nice. Actually, it reminds me
of how he used to be. - I don't think so. - I'm sorry. Here I am, and you've gone
through all this trouble and I'm talking about him. - It's okay, let's talk. I'm not him, that's all. - I just didn't think
I could give her the life that she
deserves, you know? A real husband, the real
job, and a real life. - A real life. - Yeah, you know, wake up in
the morning at your house, have breakfast, you
kiss your wife goodbye, you go to work,
come home from work. You'd be a husband guy. The real life, that's
what she deserves. - She said that? - No, I did. It's just, I don't know if I can make that
happen though, you know? I mean, what if I go to the
city and I give it my best shot and it all just
blows up in my face? Where are we then, huh? - Men, they really
do make 'em the same all over, don't they? I mean this woman, would
she still love you? - Yeah, I guess she would. - And you'd still love her? - Yeah, of course I would. - That's it. Your wait's over. - Yeah. - Our first date was in his
tiny one room apartment. He greeted me at the door
dressed as this French maitre d. He had this goofy
mustache penciled in and he was wearing this
really old tuxedo coat, with a t-shirt, with a bow tie. (Sylvia chuckles) - Sounds like a beginning. - Yeah. Yeah, it was. (calm music) - What's next? - He was broke. I mean, really, really broke. Boy did he try hard. He made these
construction paper flowers and they were on
pipe cleaner stems. Oh, and then he had this
little crayon drawing of the Eiffel tower. (Jack laughs) - Don't stop. I got one more little
surprise for you, okay? - Okay. - You were in a parisien cafe. - Right. (Sylvia chuckles) Well, I don't know how he knew, but he had drawn this label for the worst red
wine I'd ever had, and on it he'd written,
"Chateau de Sylvia, August 7th," my birthday. (foreboding music) And to cap the evening off, watched his own
personal collection
of Jerry Lewis movies. (Sylvia chuckles) (suspenseful music) (gun fires) - What the hell? - What are you doing? (gun fires) Stop it! What are you doing? Why, why David? - I'm doing this for you. - Why? - It's not David. Here, here. Why would I kill him now when there's still so
much for you two to learn? There's still time for
you to prove yourselves. How committed are you? - Back up! - As far as that
little cowgirl goes, that's a whole nother
story, ain't it? What are you gonna do, Sylvia? You're gonna slide
off a few rounds? I may be a given guy, Sylvia, but do you really believe I'm
gonna give you a loaded gun? Do you? (dramatic music) (gun fires) See? You even doubt yourself. (dramatic music) - Jesus, Charlie, come
on, come on please. No, no! - [Sylvia] David! David! (dramatic music) - Ow. (dramatic music) - [David] Sylvia! - He's a spunky
little guy, aint he? I like that. Stop! - You goddamn bastard,
what do you want from me! - Oh, listen to him. He's still clamoring
for you, isn't he? Sylvia! Sylvia! (dramatic music) (David panting) (David groans) Let her go! - You gotta work for it. (Jack laughs) - You can do better that, Dave. You know what, Dave? Sylvia's getting
a little lonely. It's kinda like
you abandoned her. (dramatic music) Come on, Dave. Take your best shot. (suspenseful music) - I swear to God I'll do it. - Just point and
shoot, come on, Dave. Do you love her or not? Do you really love her? (gun fires) (dramatic music) Nice try, Dave. But judging from
your track record, I guess that's where you
just pack it all in, right? Check your roadmap, Dave. Do not let me
cross that turnpike with you still trying
to make up your mind whether she's worth it or not. You hear me? Check your roadmap! (dramatic music) (dramatic music) Did you have this much fun
in your little parisien cafe? (truck hisses) (horse neighs) - I'm sorry, Charlie. They'll never believe me. (dramatic music) - Afternoon. - Hey. - Trouble? - Yeah. (dramatic music) Buck. You a sheriff or something? - Used to be, retired. Now I catch coyotes
instead of crooks. (Dave chuckles) Have you been hunting? - No, no. - That's funny, I
thought I heard gunfire. - Yeah, yeah, well it was... My tire blew out. - Right. - Yeah, well, you know, the
roads are a little rough and, you know, all the rocks
and the stones and stuff and just, you know, makes
a car ride a little rough, you know? - Yeah. Ride a little rough, huh? (suspenseful music) I'll give you a hand. You got a spare? - Yeah, yeah It's right... You know what? I got a spare but I don't
have one of those, uh... - Jack? - Yeah, jacks. - I'm gonna come
back with my truck, we'll get you fixed up. You stay close to your car, wouldn't want you wandering off and getting into
trouble, you understand? - Yeah, yeah sure. - All right. - And don't forget
one of those uh... - Jack? - Jacks, yeah. - Right. I'll try to bring back something to fix that oil leak
of yours as well. (dramatic music) Stay close. (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) - A great Frenchman once wrote, "The manner of giving is
worth more than the gift." And I now present to you,
in the most sincere manner, that woman's life. - Don't. - I got nothing to do with it, it's all part of your
little learning process. Her life now belongs to you. Behave and she'll see tomorrow, otherwise I'll use
the knife, uh-huh. The one beneath my seat. (suspenseful music) - I was wondering, do you have
room number seven available? (dramatic music) I'm just gonna put
the rig to bed. Just sit tight, and enjoy the show. Remember, be nice
or she'll regret it. (truck engine roars) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (Dave shrieks) (car crashing) (phone ringing) - Sylvia! - Hi Dave Truman, comedian? How's it going, Dave? - [David] You sick bastard! If you touch her, I- - Settle down. Now that I've got
your attention; This storm is turning ugly, and if I were you
I would stay put. - Look, if you think that- - That's your problem,
Dave, you don't think. That little cowgirl, mm-mm, she wasn't part of
this game, Dave. Penalty, dead cowgirl. - Okay, fine, what
do you want me to do? - It's not what I want, Dave. It's what you and Sylvia need. And you stay put
and get some rest, because tomorrow's gonna
be a really big day, Dave. But if you move
from where you are, I guarantee you this, neither
one of you will see the dawn. (line beeping) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) - [Woman] You take good care
of that girl of yours now. - [Jack] Yes ma'am,
much appreciated. (dramatic music) (line ringing) - Come on. - [Operator] We're sorry, your call can't be
connected as dialed. Please check the number
or try your call again. (dramatic music) - Looks like you worked
yourself into a bit of a sweat. Well, I got a egg salad and
this one looks like tuna salad, and over here, ooh,
ham and cheese. I just thought we
could mix and match if that's okay with you. If you'd rather not
that's okay too, I just always find that
a variety of such a- - I don't give a damn
about your sandwiches. There's more at stake here
than I think you realize. I'm just hoping
that you understand that this is not about me. It's about you, and
it's about Dave. It's about two people
trying to make it work. What are you gonna tell your
kids when it all falls apart? How do you think it feels
having to grow up that way? All right. What I think you should do
now is just get cleaned up and then we'll come back
out and have a black tea. - Okay, okay,
that's a good idea. Thanks. I'll just be a minute. (thunder rumbles) (dramatic music) Just play the game. Just play the game. - Everything okay in there? - [Sylvia] Yeah, I'm fine. (dramatic music) (shovel scraping) (thunder rumbling) (dramatic music) - I'm sorry you spent your
whole life waiting, Charlie. I promise I won't make
that same mistake. Okay. - Pussy cat, pussy
cat, where you been? (door opens) (pot whistling) Mind if I tape this? - Do I have a choice? - Always, there's
always a choice. You've just gotta be prepared
to live with the consequences. - What do you wanna know? - Well, I wanna know about you. - [Sylvia] And David. - Yeah, but you first. - What do you want,
the good or the bad? - Ooh. Let's start with the good. - Okay, how about favorites? Food, Cantonese spring rolls. Music, anything that moves. Color, red. - Men. - I like men to be
strong, confident, considerate and committed. (Jack laughs) - Cute. How about secrets? - Why don't we just make this
a little bit more interesting? - [Jack] How? - I'll tell you my secrets
if you tell me yours. - I got nothing to hide. - Neither do I, but
sometimes secrets hurt. - That's why I like 'em. I wanna know what
David will never know. - Deal. - Who goes first? - [Sylvia] It's your game. (Jack chuckles) - Yes, it is. You and David are in trouble. - Is that a question? - What happened? - I don't know.
- I do, you didn't work at it. There's your problem. - I guess you're right. My turn. - Fire away. - A boy in Juneau, Alaska. Tell me about your home. - Water, trees,
mountains, isolation. - What about your parents? - I had 'em. Now tell me the secrets
you keep from Dave. - Okay. (Sylvia clears throat) The summer that I turned 12,
a family moved in next door. It was two little boys
and the mother, and him. - It's always the father. - Yeah, that's right. It was Sunday and I was
dressed in my new dress to go to church, and I remember my mother
telling me not to get it dirty. And he came through
the hedge to say hello, and then he was touching me and all I could think about
was please don't ruin my dress because mom will be mad. - He hurt you. - I guess he did. I try not to think about it. I can't even remember
his real name, but everybody always
called him Topper. What a joke. - See? Secrets you keep from Dave. There's your problem. - Maybe. Tell me your family secrets. - Oh pass, none to tell. - What about the game? A boy and his mother.
- No. - The father?
- No chance, your father? - Dead, long time ago. - Mine too. And it's better that way. - Better? - Better. Better for everyone,
especially her. - Safer, is it safer for
a boy and his mother? To keep his mother safe? - I had to. He just wouldn't stop. - That sounds terrible,
tell me about it. - I don't like the way
you're playing my game. - Then tell me what the game is. Why am I here? - You need to learn this lesson so that you and Dave, you know
just how tough it can get. - I know, but- - But what? - Maybe you two will
get back together? Maybe the next time
you won't walk out when it gets a little bit tough? - I was weak. - Yes, you were weak. And you need this
test to find out whether or not
you're gonna make it. You need to understand the
consequences of failure before it's too late. You need to know this
before somebody gets hurt! - I understand. - No, you don't. What about when
people let you down, disappoint you, break
promises, tell lies? - I hate liars, you can
never depend on them. - You can depend on them. You can depend on
them to let you down! You can depend, you can
count on them coming... You can count on them
coming to a house with a sound of a couple that doesn't sound
like your mother! They forget what commitment is. - And you have to do something? - Oh, you got to do something. Eight inches of steel
right through his chest, the horse too. You gotta stop it, you
gotta stop it forever! - Okay, it's okay. - It's not okay. It's not okay. You do not understand,
you will never understand, nobody will understand. Nobody will ever
understand, ever! - But I do. I do, I really do. - Don't you lie to me. Don't you sit there
and lie to me. You're just like
the rest of them! The lawyers, the doctors,
the nurses, the cops! Even her. Why not? I did it for you, mother. I did it for you. I did it for you. I had no choice. I did the right thing
and you left me alone. Suicide, the easy way out? Why did you abandon me? Why did you abandon me? You tell me, you
look me in the eyes and you, you tell me now! (Sylvia groans) (dramatic music) I'll teach 'em all. I'll teach 'em all. (dramatic music) (Sylvia coughing) - Very nice. What are we learning
today, spousal abuse? - Some lessons are more
difficult than others, but unfortunately I don't think
you're learning a damn thing Penalty. (glasses clatter) Dead old lady. Well you get back
in the damn truck and you do as you're told. (dramatic music) - Hello! (dog barking) What the... Oh god. (dramatic music) Dave, RM 7. Room seven. Sylvia! Sylvia! (dramatic music) Hit play for a better
way to start your day. (TV static) - [Jack] Sylvia, I'm
ready and waiting. - Hold your horses, Jack. I'll be there in a minute. - It's your body, but now I got her mind. - I can't even
remember his real name, but everybody always
called him Topper. What a joke. - [Jack] He hurt you,
there's your problem. - Got molested by Topper? My parents' bastard hound? - [Jack] See? Secrets you keep from Dave. - Oh, you go get him Sylvia. (dramatic music) (birds chirping) - Sylvia, what do you say
we have a little lunch? We had so much fun yesterday. (suspenseful music) Suit yourself. (doors clanging) (dramatic music) I sure hope the rest of our
little class shows up soon. There's still so much to
learn before graduation day. (suspenseful music) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (Jack humming) (dramatic music) (Sylvia grunts) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (Jack groans) (phone ringing) - Sylvia? - David, hurry. I can see you, just
follow the road. (dramatic music) Hurry, just hurry up! (dramatic music) (dramatic music) - Where the hell do
you think you're going? - Sylvia! Let her go! - David! (dramatic music) (Sylvia screams) - She's got nine fingers left, you stop now or I'll take
off the rest of them! (Sylvia crying) (dramatic music) Come here. Sit down. Sit down right here, sit down! Put this on it. Put that on it. Nice going, Dave. You're doing a lot better than
I thought you were gonna do. Are you ready for
the home stretch? - Okay, is she- - Is she gonna make it? I don't know Dave, is she? That's up to you. (dramatic music) (Sylvia whimpering) All right, now you
be really nice, 'cause this man, he's had
a hard morning, all right? - Just get out of here, just go. - Sylvia, listen to me. Honey, relax okay? I'm almost there, okay? - No, go! I love you. - Give me that. - I love you too. - Oh, did you hear that Sylvia? Did you hear what
David just said to you? Good old David's really
starting to learn. Aint that sweet, Sylvia? Enough of this hearts
and flowers crap, Dave. - What about the cops? What about the- - The first whiff
of cops that I get, the game's over, Sylvia dies. It's time to decide, Dave. (dramatic music) Fine, what now? - You're running outta highway, which means Sylvia, she
is running outta time. Aint she, Dave? Okay, here's the drill, Dave; You hurry, hurry scurry for
the turnpike, you got it? - I got it. - Okay, good. - And just one more
little thing, Dave. There are no more penalties
in this game, right? Next mistake you make,
it's a forfeit son. (dramatic music) But first. (chainsaw roars) - Hold on. (dramatic music) Damn. (dramatic music) (drill whirling) - You know, we're quite a pair. We look like the
red cross twins. (Jack chuckles) (dramatic music) - Run! Get outta here, run! - What's going on? - Nothing, nothing at all. Can I talk to you inside? - [Sylvia] He's got a knife. - Oh dear God. (dramatic music) - Unfortunately miss,
we've been forced to remove you from
your first class seat. For the remainder
of this journey you will be traveling in coach. - Go screw yourself. - Oh, you gotta
cease the attitude. It's really starting
to piss me off! (dramatic music) (bones cracking) (Sylvia screams) Get in that truck! Get in the truck! Women. (dramatic music) - Hello! Hello! Ah, I'll do it myself. Come on, where are you? (suspenseful music) Sylvia. Sylvia! - Big man. - Hang on. Whoa, whoa, whoa,
hang on, hang on. (suspenseful music) (trailer squeaking) I gotta catch up to him
before he gets off 65. - Run. Blood, run! - [David] Yeah,
yeah, yeah, I know. I'm trying to stop it. Just hold still. - Look at it. Look at it! Behind the door. - What do you mean, the map? - Look at it! - What, what, what? - Blood, run. It's a shortcut to 65. It starts at the
back of the station. Blood. - Hey, Hey, no. Hey, no, no, no, no, no, no! (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (chains rattling) (trailer squeaking) - Sylvia, Sylvia, Sylvia. Hmm, I'm gonna miss you. (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (trailer squeaking) (dramatic music) (Sylvia grunting) (dramatic music) (phone ringing) - [David] Yeah, what? - She's a real
fighter, isn't she? She doesn't give up, does she? - Yeah, well she likes to win. - Whoa, now Dave, let's remember who's
locked in that freezer. - [David] What, are you afraid
to have her there beside you? - You're the one who's afraid, aint that tight Mr. Indecision? I understand why
she left you, Dave. She's too much woman for you. Yeah, she's almost
too much woman for me. - Yeah well, Sylvia knows
how to handle herself. Believe me, I learned
that the hard way. - The hard way is
the best way, Dave. So that you never forget,
as long as you live. (dramatic music) David, I've been thinking, two turns almost done. Now here's a little number, to all the folks back home. ♪ I'm gonna sing a little song
about Dave from the city ♪ ♪ He couldn't keep his
gal, oh my what a pity ♪ ♪ A tiny little boy who
loved to tell jokes ♪ ♪ But he told on old Jack,
look out, he chokes ♪ (dramatic music) ♪ Then he tried to be a
man when he got on 65 ♪ ♪ Yeah, they climbed
in the mountains ♪ ♪ And the boy tried
to stay alive ♪ Hm-hmm, yeah. ♪ But he fell so far behind ♪ Oh sad, make you wanna cry ♪ But the turnpike's
up ahead kids ♪ (Jack laughs) (dramatic music) Time to die. (dramatic music) - Hey Jack, it's
time to slow down. - Bravo, bravo. (dramatic music) (flame roaring) - Now let her go. It's over. - It's my game, my rules. I say when it's over, Dave. I said stop me by
the turnpike, Dave. Stop me. (suspenseful music) (Sylvia groans) (dramatic music) - No! (dramatic music) (dramatic music) Come on, come on, come on. Not now, come on! My dad put up
with you, I put up you, I mailed away for parts? You owe me one. (engine revving) Yes! (dramatic music) (dramatic music) You wanna play with me? (tires screeching) (chainsaw roars) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) What's the matter? (indistinct) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) - Suck on this, Jack. (tires screeching) (tires screeching) (dramatic music) (phone ringing) - What now? - Oh Dave, how are you? It's over, Dave. You've proved you wanted her, that's the game. Now Dave, you can have her back if you do one more little thing. Stop the damn truck, Dave! - What? - The brakes are fucked,
now slow us down. Go in front and
slow us down, Dave. (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (tires screeching) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) It's time to get
a new belt buckle! (cars clanging) (tires screeching) (dramatic music) Well, this is one
hell of scenic view. (dramatic music) - Sylvia! - David! I'm in the back of the truck. - Sylvia, hey! (dramatic music) Can you hear me? Sylvia! (truck revving) - Oh god, oh god. (dramatic music) Sylvia! (metal clanging) Come on, come on! - Time out! - Game over! (pensive music) (truck crashes) Sylvia! - Oh god. - Are you okay?
- Yeah. - Are you okay?
- Yeah, I think so. - Oh God. Oh God. (enchanting music) Oh, I thought I lost you. - Mm-mm. - How about 2.5 kids,
a man who loves you, and the rest of
our lives together? - That sounds really good. (enchanting music) (pensive music) - [Jack] Bravo, bravo. (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (fireworks blasting)
