Black Church and a little Chloe Bailey | #HeresTheThing

keep your distance this friday tickets in my bio kevin onstage.com various communities will be there okay start the episode i don't i never learned oh they said chloe says hayley hayley oh like hey in the middle of the morning rihanna and we'd be like hush rihanna and she says hi this is rihanna but that might be barbados coming through her accent her name is robin first of all but it's re and then it's anna wait her legals robin robin brianna finchy come on josh robin rihanna and it's ariana grande apparently i'm not worried about ariana she was like hi hi it's ariana grande like all right shush she's like it's what girl hush up in grande what's your favorite black people don't care about your name it's what we want to call you come on listen talking about some rihanna kamala baby glad she's the vp because she would be kamala whoa that was hot and only because that's the the fastest that we used to well kamala the fastest got dang kamala the wrestler spelled it the same way as kamala we don't know the the wrestler you remember the black wrestler no kamala kamala you don't remember him he has a white paint did you did you grow up on wrestling i'd say 31 like we just used it uh like a long time ago but i don't remember him i'm talking about like lakeisha what about that the emphasis kamala is what how else would you pronounce lakisha i'm saying that lakeisha for her to be kamala it would be look lakisha no the the fastest will be different if you were for nowhere yes hayley then it would be lakeisha right yeah yeah you put the two side by side hayley right yeah you're right the way hey that's not how it's pronounced people always say haley like holly berry but we don't say haley berry what's that is haley berry huh what if it is haley berry holly ain't said that she say halle berry holly says holly that's what i'm saying she don't say haley so we can't say you can say spelled like holly bear but ain't pronounced like hollywood what i'm trying to say is calmless and fastest is different than with the way a lot of other black three-syllable lakita yeah yes that's what i'm saying it would be lockheed if i did it like kamala and i'd be like i thought you were playing a spin on emphasis that's no no in fact that's from a movie put them fastest on the wrong side liable okay you double down on it so that's why i was just like waiting that's how she's pronounced i got the joke oh you thought she was just saying him fastest well she said it again so i thought that was it but i remember i remember the joke that you you said in fastest on the wrong saliva before but i i thought so that's all i'm saying is that what happened to mike myers he made his money he got out of here but you you is it just that you talk about austin powers right yeah bro what that thing meant to kill him i know he made that and shrek i know it's emphasis he got in the movie with beyonce that was it not explaining it i know oh sorry that's my fault it's a joke now i did there was one word it's in my vlog i'm gonna post it today there was a thing in target it said it was this wooden thing was cut out letters and it said a and then attached to that g-i-n-e and i was like i'm a gene i'm a giant i said somebody tell me what to say as soon as i i said i'm sure once i figure it out i'm gonna feel stupid never figured it out somebody had to tell me in the comments and discord that it was imagine let's do it imagine me i'm gonna all right what up y'all welcome to here's the thing i'm kevin she's aj welcome to another podcast the bible says he'll give you the desires of your heart come on just last week i said i can't wear a snapback god can't do it and in the mail oh yeah he sent you a heads abundance he said he said i'm preparing a place for you and i'm gonna cover you in the blood i'm a single josh let me show the world what god doesn't deliver me from the hands of the amalekites amalekite see it snapped in the back it snapped it sits down in the front i'ma wear it every day especially when i need to shave and i don't really feel like it i gotta shoot and i don't have time to rush but now i'm feeling myself you know what i'm saying i don't know when i put it on and it fit right you know what i'm saying i did this it don't look tight it don't look like a waist strainer for your head it look real like i don't i'm no longer feeling myself oh no no but you know listen i'd be wearing hats and uh be feeling like i have an aneurism so i mean they be ruined i get nauseous it'd be too tight and that looked real i didn't know you angel told me angela told me off camera she got a big head i never know my hand is joy norman said right here you think his hair is head right back his head it's just you just get it's blue right there head you know i'm looking there's a little media in the background it's i got a big kev's hat's wrapped with god's love hey that's god [Applause] lyric i have ever heard it a gospel style actually the two top funnies come from hezeki walker but his top best lyric in gospel music is put it down crack head put it down crackhead mm-hmm put it down crackhead pipe yes there was a ton of shots that could have been another church it was all about crack yes it was all about crack and monique walker whom i loved hezekiah was letting her lead all these songs she was ad-libbing and she said put it down crackhead put it down she didn't run on it put it put it down craig hey put it they start shouting i was like wow as a kid i was like this is great put it down crackhead it's like so funny to me and the second please is when hezekiah walker said tell bin laden september 11th happened they said on the media it was midline in afghanistan there was like we go we made it but tell afghanistan the country was just he probably thought that was a person somebody in afghanistan was like what what made it where and why y'all are here do we need to pick you up from the airport they're scrambling they're here i know i just love he just he is my fave him john piggy fred kirk uh it sounds like all of them you just named off but i love him the most in in i love them all different ways when did y'all get on a nickname basis me and jesse yeah from spaghetti oh okay go please yeah big heads bishop oh okay when we were kids junior choir hesitant walker makes the best songs for children to learn because he ain't gonna do a whole bunch no my the joke i've i've done on video i might do it on stage one day but probably not i'm saying here he made the only that i know of choir song that's totally seven syllables won't he make you clean inside that's it that's the whole song you clean josh down the side inside the whole thing we're gonna modulate seven times and then we're gonna call it a day and we're gonna go ham how many of you clean wave your hands and we like yeah make you clean if they break the music inside no music say the same thing yeah but it forgets the feeling good though oh we don't care no black people song we don't need no whole bunch no power power lord power power we need power we need [Applause] oh absolutely we gonna get big musty off of power power lower abs yes so when hazard was like i'm extending at the seven they said hold and when they hit no music oh no music is when the spirit has descended upon us then we switch the cloud no music hey that's the church club absolutely while we're on the church let me just say this my mom i love her yes she used to embarrassed tf out of me uh church get to going good somehow my mom always make her way to the mic always oh no from elementary middle to high ain't no party like a holy ghost probably cause the holy ghost party don't stop ain't no party like a whole okay when i was eight i was like oh this is cool when i was 18 i was like can you please stop doing that we don't do that listen i will one-up you okay my mother evangelist dorothy she was the uh sunday school teacher for the teens and uh she was like we're gonna rap oh this is where you got your freestyling hey so we all just have to say no doubt about it that's all we had to say right no doubt about here's my mom peter walked on water one day no doubt about it jesus walked on water one day no doubt about it and peter came hit it hard too we were like oh no no no yeah yeah yeah teenager your mother come on y'all got it there's nothing spot here then old black people trying to make church seem cool y'all don't need the club come on y'all hey hey hey who loves jesus jesus christ i love him once that i love him times he stopped on the cross for my sins he did it once and i'll do it again i want to go to the club yeah i would rather you specifically i need a drink exactly you guys are making the club seem so excited right it's like have you been to the club because if you think this is what they're doing you're confused that's all they used to say y'all could have been in the club we just honestly i'm just tired i want to listen let me tell you what when you grow up in church your whole life and they like i'm talking about your whole life when i was in college like when y'all was out in the world you was out to 2 a.m in the club no i've never had a chance to be out in the world all my 2 ams are revival i would or now it's late it's always late 2 a.m is late we should not be here right right i don't like that yeah i'm like i will be here for until 2am if y'all let me twerk up in here then yes okay give me something but i gotta sit here and just listen to you talk come on let's all sweat then i can be here but i did enough lock-ins that yes i have been up and then two hours in the lock-in we just speaking in tongues and walking around [Laughter] oh my gosh after this it don't matter how much listen that's versatility i gotta speak in tongues at 12 and then i'm using them a different way it's hilarious that was in them hunching i mean i came out with brenda locke and i said hey smell like sex in here i better close it soft close it soft coming to church man that was our girlfriends and stuff oh no yeah oh my god yeah it it laid all the crap i remember i got it i figured you got what into a car accident after lock in what because i had been awake the entire time praying and carrying in the spirit and once the spirit lifted up off of me i went to sleep i surely did i ran off of the road into a ditch did you really yes yes and you were okay yeah i was okay totaled the car and that was the last lock in my church head now you come back next sunday like the devil tried to take angel up out of here they said okay so that isn't safe to keep you all up for over 24 hours and then to release you into the wild at seven a.m yeah and it was early and it didn't matter i tried to turn on see that's what it was i tried to turn on the radio to listen to some r b to wake me up and before i can even get my hand to the dial i turned you fell asleep mid move yes i fell asleep mid move almost just took my whole self out was about to be dead i'm telling you that i fell asleep driving and crashed like seven times literally seven times in car accidents the amount of times i've fallen asleep driving no probably no lie probably a hundred kev that is terrifying how are you able always falling asleep at a red light why are you still driving how are you covered by an insurance company because literally all of them seven times it was little taps oh and people checked at me like oh man it was not bad crazy it was always little jobs they were like head-on collision you made it seem like i drove off the road and totaled my car seven times yeah i just said i fell asleep seven times listen right you you put the excitement on oh yeah cause when you hear i crashed my car i'm i'm i'm thinking total you're upside down still asleep like right now there's just a little a little tap were you scared every time you top the car like ah you know what's crazy about it yes i was scared never at night oh then more like three o'clock in the afternoon yes and i was like i'm gonna fall asleep if i drive no so sorry at least you know now yeah now i know like and it would be dumb to to fall asleep now i mean you know yeah i got too much stuff to do to die to die melissa was like what is your d what is wrong with you i'm a girl i'm tired with all of that you better have policy genius with policy genius let me tell you n no no no i just heard that story you you're the one who fed the story so you talk about that accident yeah but i didn't i was just like oh you know what it is i gotta learn to trust you we're gonna keep making this show and i don't trust this is great timing too this is working trust that i'm gonna do my job that's what you should trust policy teachers okay it's the shortest month of the year meaning you've got slightly less time to check off your february to dues luckily policy genius can help you check off two big things with ease compare life insurance rates and save 50 or more in the process that means more cash to put towards the things you care about whatever that may be plus there's absolutely no hassle their license experts work for you not the insurance companies so they can offer unbiased advice when you need it here's how it works how's it work angel tell us i would like to know what's together this is what you need to do okay what you got to do is go to policygenius.com.com and it only going to take you a couple minutes right and you can work out how much coverage you need how much you want and then you can compare the quotes from all the top insurers to find your best price okay now what happens is policy genius they'll compare the policy starting as at as little one dollar a day really yes and not only that you might even be eligible to skip that whole in-person medical exam all right so listen and you ain't gonna know until you do it you gotta find out and then you might be able to skip it and you'll be like what what you talking once you apply the policy genius team will handle all the paperwork and 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great time our first totally random piece of news today rapper silento of watch me whip watch me nae nae yes watch me do it was charged with murder yesterday of his cousin and my first thought in the words of cat williams murdered who why why is salinto out here murdering first of all i used to think his name was silent talk because i thought that's what he was saying silent talk silent talk but be a black mom okay it's so strong in you it is so weird to watch you turn into someone's mother i you know it's here why would he be saying silent time you know these babies have a weird talking rapping name that's a good point okay jesus told peter to come and peter kane um so he is being charged for murder because uh according to the report he shot his cousin multiple times like what what uh gets you to that point to unload the clip on somebody yeah i'm first of all this is not funny but i laughed and i'm sorry it's not funny this cousin died someone on twitter said silent toe more like violent toad [Laughter] that's beautiful i'm not gonna care about nothing no no i'm not gonna care about nothing we're in a pan dammit that is funny i'm gonna tell you what like why it struck me so weird uh-huh watch me whip is such a fun song and i've always associated with my nieces and nephews and my kids dancing and playing and absolutely didn't he come to the office yeah he did he did come together y'all have all the worst people come to the all day we're not doing this wow just the worst spirits praise god i was only there a couple of times he didn't prepare that place for you it was just a couple of encounters this is the place to prepare amen me and angel was growing up the same way on different sides of america yes same black church life oh my mom up did um people ever question your desire to be an actor or be famous in what what that meant to be in hollywood of like the demons in hollywood my last week of church before i moved here a deacon pulled me aside you know he said uh you know i see you moving over to that land of sinking sand you want to go over there and work in the world and i know if god's not there he's not planning that for your life but bless you on your path to the land of he never called el never said los angeles never la you move into the land of seeking sand and i randomly think about that like feels pretty everybody you know that ain't your calling oh what god told you he's here oh you're supposed to be youth pastor forever these kids is old now no we need you to rap to them because they're gonna be in the club to the next group you can't be serving god in the land of sick and sad it's the land of secret sins yes yes uh yeah my i'm sure it happened to you oh the elders the the female elders you know they got all them spirits out there you got to play all them characters you going to play that you going to be cussing huh little did they know it uh that's me that's me i don't need lines for that those lines are in my head ready to come out right now you gonna play what if they they gonna have you play a lesbian you that's how that lesbian spirit will jump on you because they're gonna have you oh is the spirit going yeah it's gonna jump away because that's what the spirits do they be jumping they'd be hop scotching they'd be double dutching and they're gonna jump into your so they're gonna have you play a lesbian that's spirit you know denzel he saved oh they always beat me oh denzel can do no wrong he can cuss he can kill oh yeah but denzel loves the lord he's just acting yeah he's acting but you them spirits gonna jump on you you ain't the strongest designer oh absolutely why didn't you get a pass from all church people because all the church people want to sleep with denzel let's just be honest lord jesus or the preacher's wife uh yeah where we were rooting for him to have sex with a human woman and have a human woman cheat on her husband with a being and no one questioned that during the preacher's wife and i want answers because i was re-watching it and i was like wait wait come on wait a second why am i rooting for her to cheat on her husband with an angel and i've low-key like move courtney b vance i want some angel sex angel sex that's what we're here for dudley will say i'm drunk denzel got a pass in your life too oh absolutely denzel literally could have played lucifer you see he was in a movie called devil the blue dress yes they were like but see he is showing you how you have to overcome the devil and his spirits that are going to jump on you when you get to hollywood i'm just yeah there was so much like oh my god and then it was always and then the people who supported me now don't you forget about us don't you forget about us when you get out there and you get big and famous okay don't you forget the land of sinking sand deacon oh he changes too when things start working out you know hey listen you're still in atlanta singing there but you're letting god lead you now well i didn't let him what what are you saying i hadn't even moved yet i've been there la a total of seven days in my entire life as soon as you land in lax you've been having uh meadows l-s-e-x what is that remember this church mother used to hug she's a little musty every time and she that she held long and she tucked you in here you know between the like you know mother meat and arm and that that that no lie no exaggeration i thought about the anger brought me up that last huh she said don't let it happen to you don't don't let it happen to you now she's about three warmed up don't let it happen to you that's it i was like please i'm claustrophobic don't let what happened to you whatever was gonna happen in the latter season and he really was like oh i hate i hate the quiver breathe little quiver even kev just peeking over just have to flap this i hate the quiver breathing when people feel a spirit that you don't feel and they hug it [Music] and you just thinking i'm so hungry oh jesus jesus oh and you look like i i'm not where you at i am not where you are i am not where you are i am so i feel so so sometimes you just got to get into it to get out of it oh listen there's sometimes no lie i thought god was gonna strike me down we was in revival and i was like this service would never end so it was like you know we're gonna praise your way through and if you don't dance to your situation you're not gonna make it through your situation so on the count of three i want everybody to dance i said i'm going to shout out of the church i need a break angel in my mind i just straight through the like middle lane opened my eyes i was in the middle of the church still i'm sorry did god turn me and i missed my chance wasn't no more shout breakthrough no more i was literally i know i ran all the my eyes i was in the middle of this sanctuary you got to keep your eyes open that's what our female pastors used to say open your eyes so people would run the teacher open your eyes people are shouting because people run you know they'll be bulldozers the ones that just and they'd be running over the kids it's massacre it's a whole bunch of stuff happening no live totally funny story we was doing a comedy way back when we were starting right we was doing me j and ant was doing a show in yakima washington you know black people say shout out mm-hmm it's a bit you do we bring an audience member up and say on the count of three you're gonna shout and people shout kind of like shot olympics bring this white dude up okay we've been doing these type of things the whole time we go on the count of three we want you to shout he's like okay one two three he go [Laughter] hey we fell out it scared the crap out of us we died laughing we're like why are you screaming y'all said shout out we're like oh you had you ain't never heard he was like he's like i would doodle [Laughter] i would do this oh bless him oh he really was like yeah i got it i'm gonna have to be the loudest shouter you got in here i've been i've been hit by some church people shouting mothers people losing i've been elbowed i've been like in the like pew if somebody hooked oh yeah yeah yeah taking the whole thing shaking the foundation that's why i believe church kids sleep the hardest oh yeah because after a certain amount of time you can sleep through crying screaming yeah gnashing of teeth uh the the whole thing church is uh when it's like on a high it's like the apocalypse is happening the with the pandemonium and yeah church kids be like so like literally the earth could be on fire and they just nestle up and go to sleep because it does not matter i don't know of any concert i've ever been in that gets louder than black people who have been through it at church feeling like their breakthrough is on the end other end of them screaming and crying it does not get any louder it does not i don't care as much as i love beyonce she will never make people yell as loud as someone who don't know how they're about to pay their rent and their son is strung out on crack and the prophet is saying i'ma tell you right now if you give god all you got in this moment your baby's coming off crack the money is showing up losing their ever loving mind oh man i know i've been used to shout for that i wasn't even going through nothing i want it to be broke through because they used to be looking like atlanta milk and honey if you could just shout hard enough right or scream or fall out when you woke up you would be like oh it's majestic now it's so nice i used to hate shouting right after i didn't got my hair done because your hair is about to look like somebody stomped you in the ground whatever finger waves you had are now coming up off your head your french roll and got no you looking for bobby pins all over the church flow my sister i would be like she'd be like i'm gonna meet y'all off to church i was like no we ain't gonna see you cause you gon you're gonna have makeup you're gonna look like a raccoon cause your makeup's all the way down here you're gonna be ashy somehow cause you then brushed up against and then you'd be event like for real it's amazing like black folk a lot some black folk a lot of church black folk don't like to go to the gym but then they can shirt for a shirt they can shout for like an hour and a half and be and be fine if we didn't have all that soul food after the caloric deficit after church you'd be negative yes and then you just go right out there to this fellowship hall and greens and and you know the green beans and corns is church mix right right top right corner green beans and corn that church mix right there fried chicken like we go right if we didn't eat that you like church zumba you should be thin you should be and now i have gone a little too crazy and like the next day felt like i've been hit by a mack truck like when like a profit is coming and they've been like really all up in your business and they were like and then when you took that test and you're like wait a minute you knew i took that test it came from out of town oh my god no they always from out of town the problem by the town they came in like lebron [Music] god gave them extra stuff he walked there's an altar he go on it up you go out of town for three you got a three game of road trip yeah woman and going triple doubles every night and you didn't lost it you didn't oh yeah there's been those nights and i wake up the next day and i'm like somebody hit me with a bus and that is why you could go to places like cryotherapy to be able to get that soreness up out of your body and that's why we're thankful for omax cryo freeze all right living with chronic pain is the worst it's more than feeling discomfort it can affect your whole life sure can angel many of our listeners probably have some type of pain that has prevented them from relaxing sleeping or stop them from exercising perhaps it's been going ongoing for a few weeks now and it hasn't improved with any treatments they've tried like i said you know the way we be stomping and shouting in huckabee shucking i know a lot of us have just tore our bodies up giving the lord the praise all right and we live with this chronic pain listen this this this what's it called cryotherapy omax cryofreeze oh listen this old max crowd [Music] this omax cryofreeze no lie i was um hiking a lot uh-huh and i you know my joints and my my thigh right here that that thing cause you're going up the hill up to behind i put that old match crowd freeze on there and just relax for a little bit play my fifa don't say play my game yeah let it settle yeah you know that next day i woke up i'm like hey i believe i carry on listen listen what kevin's talking about is their uh sport roll-on okay so if you are looking to get rid of nagging muscle joint pain cramping backaches immediately while providing long-last recovery then you need to try it it's an all-natural breakthrough pain solution omax sports new sports formulation includes a deeply penetrating and potent punch of eight point five percent of fda trading come on get right up in there and be like whoo you deep in there deep up in there you do the muscle you move through the skin you through the muscle i said you deeply penetrate you deeply penetrating that's what every man wants to hear that he's deeply penetrating and that is what cryo-free sports roll-on is with its uh point 8.5 percent fda approved menthol levels to instantly ice out and block pain receptors reduce inflammation improve muscle and joint flexibility the best part is that it's 100 natural remedy works it's a magic within five minutes of application relief lasts up to eight hours and much longer over-the-counter products uh you will immediately feel less stiffness and more mobility i'm telling y'all y'all should get this for your churches when the church is open back up before you get your dinner five minutes your plate ain't even gonna be ready that fish do you they just drop exactly just drop just go and put this crowd freeze off just anoint with the cryo-free there you go boom look josh got all the ideas uh omax health is offering our listeners 20 off a full bottle of cryo-free sport pain relief roll-on this discount also applies towards any products site-wide just go to omaxhealth.com today and enter the code s-k-s-k-e that is o-m-a-x-health.com and enter the code s-k-s-k-e to get 20 off cryo-free sport site wide get them knees in order all right all right well in other news we bless god we thank him for his everlasting presence amen amen communion of the holy spirit both now and forever may the lord watch between me and me while we're absolute hey one from another i've heard that that wasn't uh that was actually something bad not bad but what they people meant wasn't good it was like all right now i made the lord watch you know he was like may the lord watch yes we'd be just saying something oh my god because when you hear that between me and me yeah between me and me yes wow we are absent i think about this a lot even if my kids the church over here you can't even go right for a year and i was me and melissa were talking about this by by the time we turned 30 years old this is no cap as the kids say my entire life 52 sundays a year times 30. it's like uh 159. what's 52.56 156. 1560 sundays oh i needed the oh the other zero it's one i probably missed sunday service maybe three times oh wow why why did you miss three kevin once i can give it to you in one watch night we went we missed watch night 99 because we just moved to washington people thought it was y2k we hadn't been there more than three months and watch night was in seattle and we lived in fort lewis which is about an hour and 20 minutes south of seattle my dad was like i don't know it's a new city i'm just not sure and i was like oh my god i'm going to see what it's like oh wow and all we did was watch her something about mary twice and go to sleep i was like we should have been sunday be born yep another time we had went to new orleans for and christmas was on a sunday and my grandma was just like ah um and the other two times we were traveling usually going to or from uh that's four church things no no watch night wasn't sunday oh okay then i went on tour and i missed all of the services i had shows i missed eight months that wasn't you that's when you started business services but when you went on tour was it before then no oh wow i only missed church if we had if i had a show and i was flying back usually flying black on back on sunday and got home at 12 1 o'clock um and then we went on tour and then pandemic but even i was telling melissa i feel so bad cause my kids don't go to church as much and i was like church ain't church as much no like our church that we go to here there's no bible study there's no night services no there's no mid-weeks no midweek there's no children's uh sunday school for most of them school's gone that hurts my heart 3 30 service gone praise god 3 30 is just damn that's the rest of the day you eat dinner way too late after that and you most of the time we did 3 30 we still had to go to night service 3 30 somebody else are we finna fit one in between 1 and 7 30. like we never miss night service never like when i grew up people think i'm joking i only didn't go to church usually on mondays tuesday we had evangelistic service thursday was bible study or some sometimes wednesdays friday was quite rehearsal which was the latest night of our week it was great yeah because you got people your age and y'all yes he was in the back playing basketball and made up with a hanger a wire hanger fastened into a hoop with the foil ball fashioned back into a hoop and a basketball made of foil getting big musty running around the church um saturday was children's uh choir rehearsal children's church rehearsal junior rehearsal usher all that stuff and sunday you know that's 12 hour shifts monday and wednesday and i feel like my mother just loved it she loved all of the hours of service all of it and then she was the pa the the um singles pastor so on fridays because to keep the singles from out here being in the streets getting booty uh they had to have gatherings so if if for by chance the gathering wasn't at church the gathering was at my house really wow yes wow so much church that's why i got really active in school because that was the thing that caught me out of some things i was like ah man i'm i'm like i'm high up on this thing i'm the harambe uh vice president of the gospel choir i gotta go oh i'm i'm i'm in the band i can't we have practice i have to go but even still they'd be like oh practice gets out of six bible study don't start until seven man i remember when i thought melissa was not saved because i grew up you could not wear pants yeah yeah yeah my church was like that for a little bit and i went to her church for bible study which was that's church kid date coming to my church for bob study oh she went from track factors to bible study and she did not change into a skirt and i was like koji people aren't saved my grandma had been trying to tell me she's not saying we literally were like it's so ridiculous in hindsight we used to be in the um you got lynn the velcro we used to be at the church sunday i mean the church picnic and these girls was playing volleyball in jean skirts that's just utterly ridiculous i'm talking about floor-length jeans jean skirts yeah playing volleyball in el paso texas where it's 105 degrees what what is what is the meaning of this there was what was the reason that was house of god girls they had the they had they should have bought stock and denim stock and denim that's how much denim they had i was like how many denim skirts have been made this season that you have that many denim skirts with no so you know when the skirt breaks at the bottom yeah no opening there's another piece of dinner yeah there's a whole nother triangle of denim so that you can't see nothing up in there what's the point of the break in real skirts it would be so your legs go through yeah i understand that i'm talking about in that case what's the point of having the break if you have a second leg because you can't walk i think the people who made close to church people was like what if y'all just cut a little triangle cover that up with put that in there to put that so there what are you just cutting and cover that piece you know because the ankle you see a woman's ankles listen you know you it's going to cause a ministry it's never on the mend to not stray oh right it's oh you know she was over there showing her ankles showing all them ankle meats i mean listen you think about like the silhouette challenge we'll talk about chloe bailey in a second yes the church version of silhouette challenges she ain't got no stockings on oh you know she don't wear stock she don't she might i heard she might as well be giving it up in the back row white stocking because lest we sin right cause our brother to stumble he doesn't seem your naked leg and i'm talking about the amount of leg available is low calf right to ankle bone yeah you listen you see out here the bathsheba delilah oh that's all over that delilah got her ankles out all moisturized i know you're gonna call that cause that brother's fall why would you want your brother to fall like i i was already here actually i was already on the ground she didn't make me fall i was waiting was waiting for her to fall on top of me i remember i got over uh by the time i got to high school i figured it out so my girlfriend who wasn't in like that lesbian let's jump on you my girlfriend who was not in a like pentecostal church she had this really dope outfit it was a skirt and a top matching but it was made out of the stretchiest clingiest material and then it looked like a galaxy it had like white dots on it so it looked like the stars i wore that thing that thing was so tight on my body that they went all the way to the floor you couldn't see no ankle you couldn't see no you it was even had like a little mock turtleneck you couldn't even see my turtle you couldn't even see my neck but could you see that thing jiggling all across the place absolutely i felt so cute now i'm gonna camel on yes it's very haircut campbell that's exactly what it was it was short and it was like gate it was tight but it allowed your body to do whatever was gonna do and i was like you see you see how this don't make no sense y'all tell me it's so hard right i'm gonna get i'll bring my offering up don't worry about it i'm gonna walk slow i'ma wait be the last one i'm like see but if you were to let me wear jeans just regular jeans my booty wouldn't be over here just smacking people inside the face all up and down the aisle don't make no sense i think that's when they changed the rooms like y'all can wear pants because angel out here angel out here just not doing right wearing these lycra dresses listen you gonna let me be out here lycra that's the like uh probably not polyester like uh like spandex mm-hmm no that lycra that's that that's you know that's the greek for uh lucifer oh yeah we buying the name of lycra no holding this house we serve a denim guy so anyway uh chloe bailey uh chloe and hayley mm-hmm uh they had that album called ungodly hour and they did ungodly things so josh told me about a busted challenge that uh chloe did yes i don't know i don't know what that busted this i don't know because y'all gonna bust hell white up i never seen it never seen a bussing never seen so the busted challenge was like three seconds before the silhouette challenge you know so it's all women been showing their body so on twitter it was all love mm-hmm from chloe bailey oh man yes yeah they separate their instagrams they were growing up growing up watch our world we're grown out go of our own body right it was all good then yesterday or two days ago um like two days ago you talking about when she was when it turned i think two days ago it turned everybody was like protector at all costs yesterday protector at all costs came from this one tweet one tweet this person said chloe bailey is a cornball the whole good girl gone bad remodeled that janet jackson started is tired there is nothing wrong with being a modest woman if you can't garner attention without being a oh wow then you serve no real purpose in the world oh no real purpose god dang now usually it's men black men that come and ruin the fun this time it was women oh yeah we know how to ruin fun too chloe bless her heart and i felt so bad for her she was on instagram crying crying hello and she was saying basically i'm paraphrasing she was saying um i i didn't even see myself as a sexual being ever so part of my you know doing this is to like kind of you know break myself out of that and i got so much support and then we know i get attacked which is the nature of our internet mm-hmm outdoors internet i get attacked and i'm like bro i don't even see myself that way i'm trying to work on myself in the public light and then i get this and it was literally protect chloe at all costs and all that stuff somebody said um there's a couple funny tweets about this if if jean skirt twitter don't hush hilarious so go ahead listen i think it's okay if a woman wants to be modest i know like i know melissa she prefers to be a little more modest in how she dresses and i think it's okay for every woman to have the style that she wants to dress but we are talking about a young girl who is an r b and pop singer like she's not out here trying to be nobody's teacher she's not out here trying to do something that might require you to be a little more modest in how you behave or dress and to grow up in the spotlight like these yeah since they were children it is it's hard to transition into a grown woman every time it doesn't matter jackson hannah montana uh zendaya all of them ariana grande it's at one at some point in time we have to let these people decide that they are grown and i even remember uh growing up in the church we grew up in there was a certain point in time where i was no longer allowed to wear shorts where i had to transition over to the shortest i could wear were capris and everything i had to wear would have to be kind of on the looser side so as soon as i got some say over what i wore like when i got to college everything got super tight and super short and it wasn't because i wanted any extra attention it was i wanted the freedom to to just be however my behavior didn't change i wasn't out here doing extra stuff it was just like i want to be something else for the moment i don't want to be the chick that's always in huckleberry friend long you know cut off what do you call them overalls because i gotta cover every single piece of me my stuff was so tight by the time i got to college i'm surprised i didn't have a yeast infection on site because i was just like tighter can it get can we just strap it up tighter get it in so i understand it with some tight clothes in blue contacts listen over here looking like a wild cat honey listen uh but so i understand the like the desire to when you're finally coming into and she's she was she's more grown than i was i was only 18 when i was finally like all right we got to take off some of these layers um so to be 20 something i wish i wish i was in my 20s right now i would be on instagram in my draws lighting sage absolutely and first of all her body is amazing regardless the fact that her like josh will risk it all i'd risk it all yes i would for sure risk it all for chloe she is gorgeous josh would be like i could take a picture of your music show for free i would like a new picture i would send it to you pro bono for free for the pro bono you knew all of them i've seen a lot of older women like y'all lucky that when when i was 20 because now that i would do that i ain't got the body for it listen you wouldn't have seen my drawers where's angels draws that because my booty ate them up in the middle of me trying to prance around and like this incense does angel have a drugs i did i don't know where they are there's someone somewhere in me but i had on cute little draws at one point in time i said this girl said i would do the silhouette challenge ain't no silhouette that's just a coke bottle and not the bottle two-liter listen silhouette challenge first of all my teddies would be doing two different things left one banghead bouncing the other one is over here watching me whip and nae nae y'all be like wait a second i am dizzy okay y'all stay together just hold up one of them is here the other one's over exactly and the other one's over here just bouncing around i was just stripping the shoulders just all this stuff she over here doing the the haley i mean chloe was doing athleticism in her silhouette challenge she's an athlete bending over coming up and i would be dizzy just so yeah [Laughter] i who want to be dizzy so please believe they'll be like is that the silhouette of a waist trainer what does angel have on y'all see me zipping it up inhaler in between just lay your hand on my jaw [Laughter] turn the light on i can't see come on get it you already ah i'm telling you right now people just need to be thankful oh my god ain't no way oh my god ain't no way so listen y'all better be glad my body ain't set up the way i wanted to be during this challenge but let this thing wrap back around during the summer when i'm right let this thing wrap around i'm a beater with haley as a man one of the best things i learned early oh man i'm not even early when i moved to l.a melissa kind of had gotten them more into makeup and i used to be one of those you know you don't need makeup you beautiful you do a cake up right and melissa was like oh you think i wear makeup for you this ain't got nothing to do with you and i literally drove to work until all that i didn't go on periscope that day i was like it had nothing to do with me i got nothing to do with you hush this whole time it wasn't for men's attention no absolutely not how arrogant of you i was like i should mind my business and i'm like listen man like i i just i'm more on the like and luckily i'm like i'm not a pastor i don't have no flock or none of that stuff no but i don't let p i let people live i don't i don't personally care i'm concerned with one silhouette that's that's it right i just learned on twitter i don't police women's bodies that you got agency you got you know whatever you want it's your life yeah i don't i'm not finna say you know what i'm saying it just just hushing keeps you out of a lot that's why my dog on silhouette challenge video where i secretly promote to keep your distance work so well because people was like whoa for the police they you think i'm gonna walk into that trap now at my big age absolutely not i ain't got no dog in this fight i even got a daughter i don't have a daughter i literally only am trying to think of new ways to promote the comedy show that's it that's it literally was like perfect you know and even when i knew i was joking i was like no let me wear this carefully even with the 20 seconds right you know what i'm saying i was but did that first 15 he was saying this and that but listen my mind your business ministries listen i think uh i was talking we were talking about this before the other other day how much like we've grown yeah like 37 year old kev is like a i wouldn't even recognize myself 10 years ago yeah when i was super saved everything is saying everything is wrong you know i had no a lot of my the best thing that happened to me in my entire life is teaching youth pat being a youth pastor because that's when i was like i don't really want to regurgitate everything i was learning like taught yeah i really want to teach stuff i believe that was my one caveat to the pastor i asked you like i want to be able to teach what i think i don't want to just re re-say what i was talking about because i know what these kids going through like i'm not their age but i ain't that young i remember the stuff i was questioning and always told hush yeah i remember you saw us only apostolic people going to heaven only oh wow i was like that just i don't i i don't believe that i remember i was like because i had coaching friends and baptists and methodists and all that stuff and i said god can't just have said this piece like and then i was doing research on azusa and i found out p-a-w which is pentecost as soon as the world is just a denomination within the larger apostolic church which is also a denomination [Music] i'm like we this sliver of that sliver can't be the only people getting in listen you know what about the people in china i'm i don't know if i've said this before but listen shoot i'm gonna say it again i remember asking during vacation bible school which is when you had church during the summer unless you forget y'all ain't in school now we got time for gbs yeah you're going to do some crabs yeah you're going to do these crafts get these snacks and teach you stuff you already swords up where you got to find the bible scriptures but i remember being like what about people in china said um they wake up and are taught the same thing i'm taught but it's for whatever their religion i don't know what religion people in china were at the time and you know they just say well everybody will hear jesus name once before heaven i was like okay but what about when babies die right how can they hear well you know god's gonna go and encounter me like every time i say something y'all got a different answer yeah well you know you got the weakness why we got to preach the gospel to people in china and i said well you know i'm saying if if i'm taught to believe this which i do not even say i don't but they're taught to believe that and what if they're taught that everybody's going to hear about buddhism before they die and he's trying to convert me and i'm like oh no only jesus and he like nah only buddha who's wrong you know if you just want to go to hell say that y'all just don't want to you ain't got the answers you don't have the answer yeah i was like you ain't nobody gonna give me like no one had ever had those good answers for me and i used to question that stuff a lot and i also had a dumb question i remember sex ed one time and i didn't think it was a dumb question but everybody laughed i was like if you're having sex can you pee in a girl and everybody thought that was the funniest thing and i was like why is that why is that you had to pee and then you put your penis inside of her and let go what would happen and let go and the teacher teacher was like it won't go like it won't go what am i peeing a little bit then i go in and i just shake my head hold it pee coming out and then i was like p gonna go go they're gonna pull p back and then go come where they holding the p at i mean i was already in there like is p in a different is it left ball p right right where's the peacock y'all pulling from p when the semen is now simmons turn it's gonna be mixed up it's gonna be arnold palmer arnold palmer are you hitting with the half and half ain't nobody had no answers for me josh ain't no shot to piece like oh this isn't for us it's not our turn i think the church has done a horrible job when it comes to sex ed especially with the church wanting to have so much say in sex ed i'm like okay if y'all want to have a say y'all got to be knowledgeable y'all and i feel like there was a lot of like not speaking the honest-to-god truth about like what is what is it like to actually start to have sexual desires like what is that yeah you're telling me to go pray and say jesus jesus jesus i say that during sex anyway so how is that stopping me more that's when i know god is real only a god that can create the heavens in the earth can make me feel this good you mean he meant this hoe for this oh wow he knows my name i know his name too yeah we all gonna just be saying each other's names calling on the lord i said jesus you created this is that a whop that's where jesus lord came from yeah but every knee will bow oh yeah and every tongue don't confess well what is y'all talking about because if you talk about what i'm talking about we should talk a little bit more about it okay but yeah there was just it's just so much of like i think they feel like um if you don't know you don't run into it that when has that ever worked and it's just like no i found out and you didn't prepare me and now i'm out here yeah don't have me out here naked literally like everything is bad and wrong just like it doesn't seem like it and then what is it happening yeah what is it happening and it's worse for women worse oh they're just like brigaton did you get to watch this oh my goodness which by the way really quick aside before you get there abc let sean rhymes go over disney pass for 154 dollars and bridger 10 is the number one netflix show in the history of all netflix it's it's amazing yeah okay the the but i'm not going to tell you the the whole thing i know there's a lot of sex in it because this girl that i followed and making recaps and it'd be like dang it it's like when you get to episode five there's a lot of sex it's like all of a sudden it's not through the whole series but like halfway through then it's just like oh okay sex xx but that is dylan during the time it wasn't the age of information like we're in now so you literally only knew what someone else told you yeah so you have this main character that had not been told anything about sex before she had sex with her husband i'm talking about no she had no thoughts at all she did not know at all so she's just free free to worship freedom okay but she didn't know what you like to to know that your body will eventually make a baby maybe with your husband but you don't know how that's happened like literally going in with the knowledge of a five-year-old of sex pretty yeah i was like oh my god like because we are at a grew up in an age in time where we could either get a hold of books eventually the internet came along there's a bunch of stuff that if our parents didn't tell us we could kind of know cinemax unlike the time during brigaton i think the church is forgetting that we have access to information if they don't give it to us accurately so then you have the opportunity to potentially either learn very well in an unperverted way or to learn it in a completely perverted fashion because of how you got your information and i i wish that the church was brave and bold enough to be able to teach from a standpoint of i know you can get this information anywhere else i'd rather be the ones to tell you this information so that you're not getting it with a perverted like that's kind of how we taught our boys and i think i i don't blame the church in this sense what happens is our parenthood our parents in my life and likely yours our parents in the church was like one voice you know what i mean so if my mom didn't speak on it and the church did then i was like well i guess we live in you know listen to what people say and when i was a kid i didn't realize that not only is the bible written by man you know and that person had a reason he was writing a letter to like i didn't even understand context one of the best things a pastor was teaching me when he was teaching me how to preach was like you can't just read the scripture you got to read who was writing it who were they writing it to what were the cultural customs at that time it's like if i write angela text if somebody reads that out of context 50 years from now they're gonna be like oh you could take that a whole different way right and that happens a lot in the church and then you take on top of that you have whoever is your pastor and because we didn't go to like i went to one church for the first 10 years of my life then we start bouncing around we didn't go from church to church so that foundational pastor his thoughts on life impacted the whole congregation like the reason we couldn't go see movies it was talk we were saying i think i've said it before but i don't care i'ma just say stuff again i'm old that's it movies is saying the movie theater is sitting i'm sorry wild it's just seeing i was like okay but we can watch movies at home yeah that's fine sister act two lion king like we can't even see the lion king mm-hmm so uh i remember when i was like 18 20 my grandma was like oh yeah that's because his uh son was having sex in movie theater i was like you said why am i getting punished for his horny son that have nothing to do with me i just want to watch you eat popcorn i just want what are you talking what are you what what yeah and you know agency over women's bodies and patriarchy and all that stuff it it just becomes the way you think now you talking got your pastor's voice in the bedroom saying that's wrong you're supposed to feel that i remember i remember coming up and this my pastor didn't say this but pastor from out of town came and said literally i'm not even making this for a joke you know the only way christians should only be doing missionary you know that doggy style is bestiality that he he spoke for the devil i said doggy style is bestiality i thought having sex no no if you're gonna sit up there and hump like a dog then you thinking about your wife like a dog walk me bow wow name oh my okay no i can't what are you gonna do come on what are we talking about lady and the i'll be both what are we doing because he is not speaking the truth over here i'm sick me bow wow okay roof the room oh nothing but the dog in me come on dog hey i said man y'all there's so many different things and here's my problem dog on song of solomon he was basically with magda stallion when i read when i figured out the garden he was talking about what no dog on fruits and berries he said i feel him eat up in your girl i said hold up do you mean pick no no no no no no no your personal guard oh i said what was solomon talking about solomon said man this whole chapter this whole thing about but but you hear me we're gonna be doing some things okay i remember one of the missionary another missionary in church said if god oral sex is sin if god wanted me to put that in my mouth he would have gave me tea but you eat corn dogs and you got tea you eat you eat bananas you got tea and you oppose me you your teeth on that it's it's like ah what what what lie you're using to you wait a minute that's what a uh woman missionary said if he would want me to put that in my mouth he wouldn't gave me teeth you eat a lot of food without tea you eat soup without tea ice cream what do you never drink out of a straw drink out of a straw what are you talking about are you thinking about somebody so it's amazing and listen and i agree there's only i have to realize that i have a different perspective on life because of the life that i was able to live the opportunities that i was given the different people i was able to grow up with and some people especially those that were governed over us in the church in our lives and our families only experienced a sliver of what i've experienced so their whole frame of reference is extremely skewed like you said the dude's upset because his son is having sex in the theater but once you start to step out of that small context you realize how crazy they sound and it's unfortunate that they don't get to hear it and it's just like oh man you're so right angel you live in this life and you have no idea how crazy this sounds you watch mandalorian i tried okay you can get into it marcus and the kids watched it i was just like i can't do it i'm not gonna spoil it for anybody who watches it but a interesting thing happened in the mandalorian i'll tell you without spoiling basically the mandalorian this is him okay he like we mandalorians we don't take our helmet off if you take your dog on helmet off you ain't real okay um whole first season i'm not taking it off never i'll die literally for it okay i'm like man this dude's serious and i because i didn't know nothing about mandalorians except you know literally nothing i'm like okay that's how it works so in the second season he started meeting other mandalorians and they like actually well not this one but just follow me he meets another mandalorian and she like she takes her helmet off he's like girls you crazy he's like we don't take our man oh you ain't real if you take your helmet off she was like well i'm real oh you from the oh you from that sect of mandalorianism where y'all be like super strict nah we actually we take our helmet off and we still keep the code and all that stuff this other dude's a mandalorian his dad gave him the armor so in the second season he started learning like okay so it was just my only mandalorians was on that like yeah don't take the helmet off and that's kind of how it was in the like the the sliver of the sliver the paw of apostolic church but even in el paso because then on top of that sliver of that sliver it's your pastor yeah if you have a sex positive pastor like i remember when my homegirls feel like it might have been i don't know who it is and i want to get wrong she was like my mom would say one thing from the pulpit but when i went away to college she gave me a vibrator she was like listen you're gonna need this if you want to stay uh not pregnant you're gonna need a little something but she's like why don't you tell the people that she's like i can't tell these saints this and that's my one thing about the church that i a lot and the more i be knowing gospel artists and pastors and i get it like i get it but they the personal belief system isn't what they say across the pulpit because people cannot take that right so they're like i can't tell people that but the really way i cope i got that vibrato right yeah i got that i'd be masturbating me my wife had phone sex you know all this stuff that i've heard you know in conversation but they like can't get on the poopy didn't say that people's heads will explode they're doing the exact same thing they just can't the thought of you being human and doing what they're doing is just too much it's so much and like my i remember my first stand-up was about church in the church parking lot you know remember our pastor and my grandma and then be like do sister daniel shout because she had fell over the men reducing her memories of me we had a little bench on the front of it and she was shouting she had her eyes closed she flipped them over there was bloomers everywhere [Laughter] no good kicked me out the tree died yes after service oh why would a dad do my grandma's favorite oh i mean my brother was cracking up my grandma and then was stoic you know but um but my it was like you can do that outside but you can laugh in like so um anyway i say all that to say and i don't fault these people either because i think because we were pouring black we didn't have access to therapy or financial advisors so your pastor becomes your de facto your be all right see y'all say all be all for everything in life their personal opinion becomes like the law and and heaven forbid you question the man of god the man of god oh heaven forbid you you understand a scripture differently and i remember when i remember what really helped me is having kids yeah when i had zay i was like well melissa had say we haven't i was there i'm like oh i'm gonna love this kid and this is great say super chill baby super chill everything and i had joe we had joe and i was like literally and i know they sound dumb i thought oh this kid will be just like my other kid and that kid came out i remember he changed my idea on bad children joe was not bad but he was stubborn as a dog on ox he literally would turn off he would just be like when he didn't want to do nothing he would literally stand there like this there's video of it so raising him and i'm like man this kid don't do nothing like isaiah and it's not all i say is bad and good like they literally isaiah was not picky joe was picky isaiah was hard to put to sleep joe was easy to put to sleep isaac it cannot wake him up suffer up for school josiah says alarm at 10 o'clock at night to remind himself to go to bed and he's up at six wow reading the paper having some coffee getting ready for the day isaiah has to set an alarm at 7 30 7 45 and 7 59 to be up at eight or 10. so i said man i only got two kids and i can't raise these two the same i can't punish them i cannot praise them the same right you make a joke to isaiah he thinks it's funny you make a joke to joe when he was little everyone hates me and no one loves me and my life is over no oh joe is super competitive cry if they lose isaiah was playing soccer it's too hot i'm standing in the corner because i don't care i don't care i'm hot i don't like soccer i i don't care so i was like if i can't raise these two kids the same how can god who has billions of children expect them all to do things the same right it's ridiculous it's so ridiculous it's ridiculous no that's a great that's a great analogy you're so right i mean heck i got twins they came out of me the same day completely different creatures that could have might as well came out two different times two different years two different years amar is bad i won't say he's not bad he is bad and so he definitely is looking at you angel you be like get down he'll be like you get down right he's like you're 40. what you gonna do what you gonna do you're tired i see it in your eyes i see it you don't have the energy to raise me so i'm gonna raise myself that's what he communicates to you that's what i feel like he communicates he's like i see you're weary i see it someone do whatever the heck i want to all you gonna do is sit there and say my name over and over again and i know how to ignore you you know how i know because you know how to ignore me you guys just have like an understanding now uh he has the understanding that he knows what gets on my nerves to get him his way that's you've been trying to wean him for months he doesn't he does it i'm trying to win tomorrow that was last year it's february now i don't know what i'm going to do even potty training oh yeah completely different i potty trained we probably trained isaiah over a weekend we're like hey buddy we're going to potty training we're going to teach you how to go potty he's like okay when you gotta go pee pull your pants down pete when you feel gotta go poop and he was like okay peed pooped literally from friday to monday morning never peed in the bed josiah he was like i'm gonna doodle in this diaper until i get sick of it you're going to wipe it you're going to killing it i'm going to piss when i want to piss and i literally were like oh this is the time we probably train isaiah let's probably train joe we went and talked to our pedia or his pediatrician we're like what are we doing wrong and she was like oh he's just not ready yet when he's ready he'll let you know we're like what girl we black we gonna let him know right so literally we're like all right man just forget it yeah three months later he was like i go potty and then that weekend he was like and now i piss when i want to and i'll do the win because i decided because i said so not you this man will i mean he is so principled yeah and rigid and the pre that's why his sarcasm is so strong and like you know what i'm saying like i'd be like oh my god you just gonna do whatever you want he was tough you're like oh gosh you just got a mind of your own huh and when you're trying to develop well-rounded adult because i don't want to punk my kids and all that stuff because then they get into adulthood and their boss is punk them because they never were allowed to use their own voice so now if your position authority even if you're wrong you're like well they're in position but now if you've been like i allow my children to challenge me in a fair way and uh if i'm wrong i apologize so now ain't nobody gonna punk you you're gonna be like all right my dad don't talk to me like that so you definitely finna talk to me crazy and if i question them i'm definitely going to question you what's up you know what i'm saying to punk my baby look at you all progressive i'm not that progressive but that's great listen but i can't that came along with raising these kids yeah like i went into it like i'm gonna raise your hair i was raised and then i was like well the world has changed and i've changed and there's a lot of stuff my mom probably wouldn't do if she had to raise me over again knowing what she knows now yeah and i know and i'm gonna tell you and i know we've been talking whatever you like this podcast or you don't hilarious when i saw my grandma the way she treats my kids i said you had love in you man yeah oh yeah what was this when i was a kid you smiling letting them stay up late let them say shut up to each other they could say live melissa family you you got to say story you don't use the word lie yeah i said what happened to this love my girl was like i don't know i don't feel like doing that over again it's too much i did it twice did with my my kids and y'all i had raised two sets again i'm not finna do it for a third i'm not gonna do it let me enjoy these kids i'm enjoying them and i'm like so hold on why are you sure i had to work right black parents poor parents david soul said this and it made the most sense to me he said poor parents didn't have time to raise you they had to work yes so all we have is fear because i'm not going to be at home yeah bruh bro it made so much sense if you open that door i'm gonna beat you with an into your life yeah not because i need to train you about strangers at all i don't have time for all that if i'm gone and you open that door and somebody hurts you i can't protect you exactly so i'm gonna call don't you touch that door i'm calling don't you answer the phone and when i talk to you at home why are you an answer when i called because she said that's it i don't know i told you i was gonna call i was gonna hang up and call right back i was gonna let it ring three times and then i was gonna call back so you should have known it was me unless you were outside talking to somebody damn what can y'all possibly doing at this house right next to the door by the phone right now i give my parents more grades because i realized they they they only had time to whoop us yeah because they had to go to work yeah it was like you need to get the lesson right now right now i don't have time to tell you not to touch though cause this is hot and it's if you turn that stove on and burn the house down you're gonna be dead and then we're not gonna have a house and we ain't gonna have no house so don't do it because i said so yeah and i dog on set so was everything oh yeah now i still do that one that's just too many kids to keep explaining the reason behind stuff i definitely i actually am cool with how my mother raised me i don't know if everybody i was the youngest so i got it it's like i wasn't bad like amar but uh i definitely got the the tireder version of my mother the one that was just like all right have it have it your way i have it your way so i uh for me i i was raised with a lighter hand so i am lighter on my kids than would possibly my sisters might have been with their kids um and i also i recognize the privilege that i have as a parent so my kids do get away with way more things than what and i'm always like you all don't know how good you have it listen because we only raised with the frame of how bad we had it yes but the whole point is to make life easier for your kids absolutely y'all need to struggle why though why yeah no what if you didn't have to what if you could just live right and honestly when i went to college i was like you know it's when i was like oh my parents set me up these poor not poor like poor in the sense of like your life sucks yeah these white kids and these kids couldn't wash their clothes they couldn't didn't know how to iron they couldn't cut i said man y'all what have y'all been doing what have you been doing all year they their parents cooked clean did their laundry my mom was like i remember one day randomly i was in fifth grade she was like i'm gonna be washing your clothes white hot only bleach this cup boom then little light color cold cold water boom then darks fold them put them away that was it yeah that was whatever you are in fifth grade that was my last day of doing my laundry so i didn't even think when i'm these kids my roommate had never even used a washing machine oh no didn't know where to put the uh detergent oh i'm like man what was you doing i i i said iron he used to have i mean i'm like yo why don't you iron he was like why do you iron like you look like you got roughed up he's like that's fine never used an iron don't know how to so many of the kids in my freshman class flunked out because they were never used to having to wake themselves up and turn their work in without somebody telling them i'm talking about kids getting 4.00 i'm like y'all never had to wake yourself up from school no no my mom's my mom gone wait they had they've gone you're right set that old black alarm that i made from a while ago which was my alarm no phone alarm yeah set that alarm on the alarm clock wake up get yourself breakfast get yourself dressed and go to school and be back home by this time you got your own key never had their own key ever that is crazy let me tell you that's how i know i was healed from asthma because i was about to miss my bus you hear me about to miss my bus my mama already at work i can't go back home and say i miss the bus i will jog to school before that happens you talk about visit it at your stop but you know i got to go to another stop and you got to run through people's yards to get to it that's when i knew the lord had healed me from my asthma because i was just like what i'm not going to do i know i'm supposed to be this little adult now in the in middle school and get myself to school i remember me and my sister used to ride the city bus to get from school to our mother's job when i was in elementary school listen i can't imagine doing that to my business oh my kids will be like kids and no kid is going on the bus by himself ammar would but the rest of them they would be like go to memphis mark would be you tell the bus driver a move by by they're driving himself but the older three oh no they'll be like nope we ain't going nowhere so i i am i do know my kids are being rave raised with privilege and even my mother when she is with the kids she's like there's so much stuff i let them get away with that i would have never let you all she said but sometimes i'm just amazed by the audacity of them to even question me that i really want to know where is this going you so i just said this thing and you are asking me why is this thing the actual thing and you're expecting an answer yes not out of disrespect but out of peer share well what does that mean why are you saying that because when you are raising a child the bible says watch this this was revealed to me watch this take your time the bible says train up a child in the way he should go when you're training huh even floyd mayweather arguably the best boxer muhammad ali they are always training huh not just for the fight they are staying in shape when you are training you don't just tell somebody something once you remind them you guide them you walk with them through them so when you are training of a child you are always there always reminding i don't know how many times i've told my children when you finish the cereal oh i got all you got to do is this roll it up okay you go and put something in the trash if you can't close it why would you just stuff it and walk away i tell my kids all the time you live here yeah yeah you live here right if there ain't no paper towel there you live here they go oh they ain't nothing you live here you know where the paper towels are come on we don't ever miss a favorite thing we don't ask for much we don't oh we really ask you guys really don't either really it's not it's not that you're just saying that i mean we seriously don't good grades keep the house clean and for the most of the part as long as you do those things the world is yours man within reason and it works like our kids they're not spoiled melissa put into all that you know but the the the amount of time so now i remember well i'll tell you i i felt so good as a father i put something trash on purpose oh my gosh i'm working in here i said one of my boys gonna come down here put it in isaiah's the worst when it comes to the trash you know you put like a little grocery bag of trash next to the trash and your mind said when i take the trash i'm gonna take that out take the trash out isaiah i will take this out other trash he has not requested this of me i will do the bare minimum at all uh-huh i know that he's sitting there working on my ipad he comes put something in the trash takes a step away he comes back and i heard my voice in his head saying you live here he said let me go ahead let me just then he looked down saw something else let me take this out let me come back put the bag in i said well god dawg it only took 14 years you said i won when i trained them to stop saying huh and say can you repeat that or i'm sorry i didn't hear you because i used to i remember them catching because han was deaf for us oh yeah huh what we couldn't say what huh right so now when they were first learning i said isaiah he said would you repeat that i didn't hear no sad just refuses to learn that lesson but we expect a yes ma'am or yes sir and so i'll be like huh i'll be like i i am going to knock that dimple off the side of your face i am i am i'm going to knock it off yes i'm like yeah i know you know you are way too smart to not understand what i'm saying and i'll be like yes ma'am he's like huh i'm like yes ma'am huh come here who are you who are you calling man right i'm like i can't do this oh my god but yeah i mean i i'm thankful that my boys are being raised by me uh the the angel that has gotten the opportunities that she has because angel is a rule follower if they were to go have gotten the angel that stayed in kentucky they would hate me oh man i'm so glad i as i grow i allow my children that growth and grace yeah and not just repeat what was taught to me because they live in a different world yes they do they really do they live in a different world and they're going to need different skills and they're so much better at some stuff worse than others like we had no babysitter again out of sheer like who who gonna do it yeah who if i had money for a babysitter i i i wouldn't have other kids as my babysitter so we play outside because you know that's how we did we've gone to the ends of the earth right as far as that bike will go in a given day absolutely my kids didn't learn how to ride a bike until i don't know two or three summers ago oh no because i went to go teach them and i was just like ah y'all not gonna be riding but we rode bikes because that's what kids did yeah it was an adventure and it was fun and that's how we got around but now they have adventures in front of their like the stuff that is created on these screens it's hard to kind of beat that with a right around the neighborhood and see another house that looks like the house beside the house that's beside the house it's not as interesting as you are seeing a whole new world right here in front of you while you're hitting your bed it's hard to compete against they've never had the pain of having your bike stolen uh-huh no just break mine just going outside and be like it was there well i never had my bike stolen my bike got stolen from my front yard i've never felt more disrespect in my life my bike was third grade i locked that thing up wheel the wheel [Laughter] they caught me slipping i remember one time when we moved from el paso to virginia i lost my first bike because my dad said be home by this time moving trunk will be gone i'm there came home 1203. the truck was there but closed my dad was like what'd i tell you my please my bike no i need it stop it prove a point a man of his word movement trap gone bike landed in the yard it died right there how far were you moving from el paso to virginia i would have rode that bike i'm coming luckily i came across another one in virginia i remember how you stole somebody else's button no that's that you stole my camera across a bike i don't know how that is called that fever stealing a bike yeah i can't call somebody a car i don't know how if somebody said that you'd be like that means you stole someone oh this is a great app it's great i had a great time thanks for having me guys uh quick reminder keep your distance i meant to say from the beginning when i forgot dang it you want to creep keep your distance this right and throw it in here cause i throw it uh will smith show hey sunday oh look at you me and will your guy my god i saw that i said oh this is game over you've looked at me in my eyes this whole time but i let it i allowed it josh has to i was very clear wow i don't want people looking at my eyes uh yeah i can't wait i hope all the patreon is about to watch the love hour because when they see the way missy is dressed right now oh yeah oh i didn't see her oh that's why i looked and then i looked away immediately because i guess statement big fan of missy missy is out here slitting people's throat it's it's like a reimagining of michelle obama's inaugural look if michelle was like a younger hip i listen this is ridiculous where is you shopping you know what gg okay you see come on let the people see wait what's that right here okay with the [Applause] okay anyway uh my show at will airs on his channel on sundays can't believe i'm still saying that million views within like an hour or two or something like that if i was on true tv i wouldn't get that much that quickly but anyway uh keep your distance uh patreon shout out to y'all love y'all they're watching live as always yep a new episode of the challenge show on sunday oh angel oh this is like you could go back and watch it it's on the youtube there's a clip somebody the thing i was got a hundred thousand dollars and tony was like and pat was like and i was like and the person said every reaction is valid you didn't sound as bad as you made it see oh i rewatched it and i was like not as bad as you no i was all over the keys you were all right yeah he was a janitor let me get it i was like no but anyway we got a couple more episodes of that we're about to go into heavy production for all the other stuff for the app so don't forget you can submit questions for ask on angel ask on angel gmail.com or you can click the link on my bio in in gm not gmail what's that instagram instagram yeah see y'all next week peace click on the link [Music] [Music] [Music] is [Music] [Applause] jail

Channel: KevOnStage Studios

Views: 228,129

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Id: AIY94fYMbls

Length: 91min 54sec (5514 seconds)

Published: Wed Feb 03 2021